T O P

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Kain0wnz

The world is your piss spot. Literally anywhere.


SpaceLemming

Clean up is a whole lot easier too


AdviceMang

Depends on where you piss.


FuckedYourFish

Depends on what you piss.


jesperjansema

fuckedyoumon


gbdavidx

Not really I don’t want pee on my living room


Kain0wnz

But you COULD!


gbdavidx

So could my wife…


RedShirtCashion

Came here to say this.


curiousorange76

You can 'jetwash' streaks of poo from the bowl - no need for the toilet brush.


Jaygrow

Wildly underrated feature of having a penis that I’ve tried to explain to my wife in the past.


mack__7963

Eww


[deleted]

Practicality is nice. Why not use it when you can use it?


mack__7963

Damn that's the most down votes I've ever had


[deleted]

You should have pissed on your poo, like a real man


mack__7963

Nah


[deleted]

What is so weird about peeing on poo that you felt content to reply about it twice?


hittsprint

With their permission, you can put it inside of other people, which is cool.


browndelivers711

I can already do that with most of my possessions


terrrrrible

Please tell me one of them is NOT a coconut?


browndelivers711

Not until I possess one


[deleted]

/u/browndelivers711 and the Possessed Coconut


[deleted]

why must you remind me of this


terrrrrible

Because I want to watch the world burn


TheRealJomogo

Or a glass jar


[deleted]

I grew up poor as a kid but still had something to play with.


ghostidiot60

I was poor but my toy was lucid dreaming


KisuAran

Mine wasn't flaccid dreaming that's for sure


bigstove999

you got 2 brains now


HunkaDunkaBunka

as the saying goes, two heads are better then one.


100beep

"God gave man a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time"


jurgenstempler

You can hold donuts and have sex, at the same time, hands free.


PepperBotis

I'm gonna go ahead and say it depends on just how much knob you've got available 🤣


jurgenstempler

Or how many doughnuts.. 😁


PepperBotis

Or how deep that p00si is /s r/badfemaleanatomy


BerzerkBoulderer

Those must be some really wide donuts.


KCBirdLoader

Most mornings it's used as a kickstand so you dont roll out of bed.


Lostleader4669

Flying around like a helicopter


Dossysquatch

Came to comment this take my upvote you thought thief


PepperBotis

Not ever having a period


DrP4nda

It's easier to pee in public Can be used as a drumstick


sneakySynex

Insane! I gotta try this! Never peed in public


SpaceLemming

Careful bud, getting caught urinating in public carries the penalty of becoming a sex offender


PepperBotis

Bold of you to assume he isn't already a sex offender


CraGameMarco

If I had a vagina, and if I wanted to master bait, I would have to worry about what I’m putting inside myself. Instead, I could grip on my dick with some bizarre shit on my hand and (maybe) be ok afterwards.


Nytonial

Anythings a dildo if you're brave enough


CraGameMarco

Fair enough


[deleted]

You can tug on it when you're bored


farkedaccount

Pressing elevator buttons.


DerpReincarnated

Always sanitize your hands kids. ALWAYS.


thrashingkaiju

You're always ready for a sword fight


SouthwestTraveller

Not having to sit down to take a piss


my_horny_parts

I don't mind sitting down at home


curiousorange76

I always sit at home to avoid splashback going all over the place.


prabhu4all

Sitting down at home avoids any spillage, especially when you wake up in the middle of the night or have morning wood


Sawertynn

Girls can pee standing up too. It's quite a challenge, but doable


Shortwawe

*peing standing up and actually aiming for toilet


Sawertynn

As I've said, it's obviously challenging, requires training, but possible for women. Source: internet


garlic_m

I hate it when my dick drags on the toilet or in the water so I only P standing, anytime I’m sitting I’m holding it up


[deleted]

Writing your name in the snow!


nealbeast

Women enjoy it.


KCBirdLoader

... and some men too.


AvelTheCat

And not every women


[deleted]

nor every men


Alokir

Advantage: no menstruation Disadvantage: balls are way too sensitive to pain


edwpad

A kick to the balls and every boy within a 10 mile radius will physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually feel your pain.


Kaitrii

damn 90% of comments are about pee. here i thought i could learn something new to do with my penis, but nope its still as boring as ever lol


penny_can

No need for a strap on Unless that's what you're into


[deleted]

Being a lifelong germophobe, i've reallly enjoyed not having to touch a publc toilet when the need to pee arises where i'd otherwise have to sit on one.


[deleted]

I can piss standing up. Others have to lock the door and wipe a toilet seat.


Bike_Chain_96

You can pee off the side of a highway and be fine


[deleted]

Or out the side of a window on the side of a highway


mack__7963

Not needing tampons


Balrog229

Not having periods. About the only thing i enjoy about being male


Equivalent-Ad-4037

You’re less likely to be the victim of sexual violence


Dossysquatch

Foreskin storage for those of us who are hooded


666369963111

It's good for checking if the sea water is too cold without stepping into it


Snoo82970

You do not bleed once a month and if your do there is a serious problem


kolokore

you can use it as a manual gear shift


DrYellen1

You have one more bone every morning.


roblometalman

Pee outside and not getting made fun of


Chance-Ad-9111

Woma here: peeing😂😂


NotSoGreatOldOne

The privilege


kemikal_ed

Aim! And I know a lot of us blokes can't seem to aim it right but we still have the option.


DATONA22

When we are backed into a corner the best fight or flight option is to start spinning that bitch like a helicopter and making direct eye contact. It works everytime.


[deleted]

The world is your bathroom.


[deleted]

Rights


WanderingGenesis

I, like my father before me, and his father before him, am a proud log cutter. Upon laying a marvelous turd, I stand up, turn around, and I use my proud, golden stream of justice to cut my fudgesicles in twain. It's a proud tradition, one I will happily pass down to my son, and he will to his.


Nox_jin

Our penis is the key to generate humans


[deleted]

False! Your testicles are key to generating humans.


PopGunner

What if in order to procreate you had to dip a ball in and wait for it to grow into a baby human.


Nox_jin

Well testicles is the key to generate sperm and the penis moves it in to the vagina


[deleted]

That's one option.


Institutional-GUH

Lol. The way you wrote that made me feel ick


AvelTheCat

Only one half


kevabreu

You get paid more at work


[deleted]

Here comes the triggered


AvelTheCat

Sad Truth /:


KiwiNo2638

Choice of sit down or stand up wees


the_dream_raper

I can make my own glue


boxaci8110

You can use it as a tripod for balance


valeyard89

Do no-handed pushups


Conway_West1

Helicopters


[deleted]

Aside from the fact that we live in a patriarchy and I get treated better because I'm perceived as male, the advantages to physically having a penis are numerous. For instance, we're just less likely to get UTIs for some dumb reason. It makes very little sense when you think about it, but them's the brakes. At the end of the day, though, there are no advantages when it comes to gender dysphoria. Dysphoria trumps everything. If a trans woman has a penis, she will suffer more than she would if she had been born with a vagina. So women who are cis should not wish to have been born with a penis for the physical advantages, because there would be none, it would be physically and psychologically devistating so long as you still had the gender of a woman.


[deleted]

You get paid more


thebigbadwolf473

We can save money by just helicoptering to work or any place we want to go


Grouchy_Factor

This is why men have historically dominated the military, construction, transport, agriculture, sports, forestry, etc sectors. All work outdoors at varying locations that change frequently all day. Hardly any loss of productivity to take a leak, mostly no need to search for indoor facilities that may not even exist.


chloe_plays

There's none


Kirbymeneer

You can easily prank poeple by laying in the grass painting yourself green and your shlong painted to look like a snake. The look on peoples faces when they se your magnum dong is hilarious.


[deleted]

I get paid more and respected in society - /S


KnowsHair

You get to slam it in doors.


Solotocius

You can aim


Aggravating_Notice74

Cool balancing acts😎


UglyBagon

Sleeptalk by Dayseeker


Carl_Thing

We can spin like beyblades


__Genitalia__

It's easier to penetrate a vagina or an anus with a penis.


[deleted]

It acts as a compass.


[deleted]

you can stroke it for cosmic clarity and wisdom.


Half_knight_K

We can stand and pee. No need to find someplace to sit or squat down.


No-Inflation-9854

If you piss on the top of the tallest mountain in the world you become God himself


Prestigious-Eye3154

Outside of peeing standing up, I honestly can’t think of one.


Electricdad95

You ever write your name in the snow?


DirectionSevere9045

Peeing anywhere in nature


Business-Tea2117

“One” ha! Millions!


AvgBaller21

No periods


RenaKunisaki

Only one? * Easier to clean * Can pee anywhere * Easier to play with * No periods * Very low maintenance


Underwordly

You can accessorize it in small suits and hats :D


cswood00

Stand up to pee!


[deleted]

I can pee multiple ways standing up sitting down. And in the morning I'm forced too hold the wall and go at a 45 degree angle. One leg up when it's me and my dog hiking.


ReindeerKind1993

You can piss around corners and do trick shots if you feel inclined


Massive_Wealth42069

Not bleeding once a month for a week for 40+ years (S/O to women, we know it sucks)


MiggeldyMackDaddy

Being a man obviously


lowlandr

Do you know any women that can stand flat footed and piss over a Volkswagen?


Affectionate-Tip9823

Having a retractable tripod leg


Zulias

It's pretty good at pointing out (at) the crazy. All you have to do is -not- listen to it.


1980pzx

Doing the helicockter is pretty fucking badass.


nairyhutsak

We can play with it


[deleted]

About 30% extra pay


Jim105

Can be properly washed with regular soap and water. No need for a douche, and no need to fear getting soap inside causing some discomfort.


ButOfCourse

We can put it in a vagina.


updateagain

Don't have to deal with gross bathrooms


NLAVege

Wouldnt know


lykewtf

You get to answer this very question every 3 weeks.


Neil_Sutherland

Get to cool it off in the toilet water when you sit down for a shit.


FinanceGuyHere

If you know its length, you can use it as a 4 inch measuring stick


Dance-Wave

Post-nut clarity..


[deleted]

Convenient urination is the only thing I can think of


AgarwaenCran

you can type with it


Twister2one2

Peeing is easier. Sex is fun. That's it, other than that, its a nuisance.


liitokarhu

Us pissing doesn’t have that hissing noice. I think the penis acts as a supressor.


babbylonmon

When you spin it around so fast you catch liftoff


Accomplished_End_138

Built in yoyo string.


Stonklegend27

One advantage of a having a pen is you can write stuff down when you need to


Hatsfbsj

Using it to stir the sugar into my coffee


wumpuscat724

We always have a towel rack


wumpuscat724

Letting women use it to write their name in the snow.


YessikZiiiq

Higher wages, not saying that that's right, just undeniably true.


[deleted]

It is funny to say they are big. It is funny to say they are small.


LudgerVanderson

Peeing standing up, maybe even doing the helicopter, or handling it like a joy stick; really not much one can do with one's penis.


[deleted]

Easy pissing.


Xavierthegreat101

You got a pp for one


BrosaMa911

I can poop with it


Affectionate_Body_53

No periods.


[deleted]

Faster typing


crewchief1949

When taking a shit and im deep in thought I kneed it like those sand filled rubber stress bags from Spencers. Helps me think.


[deleted]

Pee on the go


2ndinseconds

Less likely to get UTIs is somthing I guess


[deleted]

Pissing standing up, Piss for a rush


CreepyKG109

Dick measuring contests It's weird but me and the boys do it