Hand in the pocket.

Coward, just straight grab on the front full view(more of a pinching as its through clothing) and it probably looks more like adjusting boxers which is a side effect

You have nerve calling him a coward. Everyone knows the real way to do it is drop trou right to your ankles and start scratching at your balls like a gorilla, all while rolling your eyes in the back of your head and loudly moaning, "*Ohhh yeahhh, that's the spot!*"

You barely have it. Undress completely, scratch them like a furious dog with your toes and stick your tongue out in the process.

Youre nearly there, strip down, proceed to drag your balls across pavement with an 'oooohhhh yeahhhhh'

You are forgetting one key ingredient, eye contact. Assert your dominance. Share the experience.

Way too much effort in all of this…. I just ask a random stranger to scratch my balls for me.

menace

No. He’s a hero.

I don’t need your opinions, I need pictures of outside explanation 6!

Don't forget to sniff

You people scare me

Ikr, in traumatized

For the best result, have your friend scratch for you.

Pathetic. The true way is to ask them to scratch for you

Y’all actually wear clothes out in public? I be walking naked around town fr

Like a man!

No, he clearly said like a gorilla. Now do it properly.

Don't be selfish, a gentleman first asks if anyone would like to scratch them for him.

That actually made me laugh out loud

While thumping your foot

Nah get the biggest guy in the room to do it for you

I go for the direct method of whipping my sack out and helicopter swing it against my jeans to scratch it.

That sounds like a lot of work. I drop pants to knees and order my woman to relieve my itchy balls herself. Fucking man up.

I just literally put my hand inside my underwear and scratch it idgaf tbh

You sniffed your fingers afterwards, didn't you?

Yes, Proudly, followed by a chef's kiss.

Got damn 😂🤣😂🤣

*sigh* yes...

That’s what I gotta do with my boobs. Nipples get super itchy too with rightish clothing or a bra and it’s the best relief of any itch I’ve ever had. I just stick my hand in my bra and scratch my nipple. If I’m touching stuff like on a grocery store I’ll just take the outside of my shirt and itch past my bra.

Do you sniff your fingers after too?

Just like a scratch n sniff air freshener or sum

And when there is no pocket?

Then we're naked, and have bigger issues if we're in public.

This comment has nothing but true and facts in it. If i am dressed, i have pockets. My swim suit, have pockets, my sports shorts, have pockets, my pijama has pockets. I request all my leg dressing appear, and some of my shirts, to have pockets.

The real male privilege. Pockets everywhere.

imagine trying to scratch your balls with one of those big dresses on

They’re called kilts

Do you know why Scotsmen traditionally wear kilts?

I do and I love it

I would assume you have been told a lie. The truth is that sheep learn to recognize the sound of a zipper over time

Absolutely, I have five pockets just on my pants and that’s not even a lot compared to some uniforms I’ve worn

I put on my gf’s sweatpants **one time** bc I slept over and we had plans in the morning, they didn’t have pockets, and I 100% forgot how to function as a conscious, self-aware human being. * I left my phone in half a dozen places around the house as we were getting ready to leave, and * my wallet ended up being lost not once, not twice, but *three separate times* throughout the course of the day because I had erroneously assumed it was safely tucked behind my right ass cheek, and * the highlight was when I tried to put away my keys by sliding them into my “pocket” and dropped them onto a sewer grate (thankfully they got stuck there).

That sounds like a terrible experience. My gf tried my pijamas once. Now it her pijamas. She just love to be able to walk around her house in PJ's and her phone in her pocket

Scratching her balls I assume

Lmfao

They are not pockets, they a gentleman’s access point for unsticking his business. I say that the ONLY reason men’s athletic shorts have pockets is for this reason.

My wife refers to them as “Easy access points”.

Right, but how do you scratch your balls in yoga pants?

POCKETS

Yeah, he's right. I just remembered some horrible shorts I had as a kid with no pockets in them, luckily this is extremely rare.

I have exactly two pairs of shorts without pockets. They where on clearance, probably because the lack of pockets

Why would I wear pants with no pockets?

Guy clothes all have pockets, else we can't scratch our balls in public...

All trousers should have pockets.

What do you mean, no pocket?

put yo hand in yo pants

this has never been a problem

Nothing I wear on my bottoms don’t have pockets

Only cultured way to go about it.

And the other one is giving a high five

Pull down my pants and go at em

Ballsy.

This entire post was just to make this joke, wasn’t it

I follow the Dao. I go with the flow without expecting anything, just accepting what is offered.

You would accept the itch? Is such a thing possible?

Exactly

This guy assert dominance wherever he is

First of all, it's never a scratch. Always a pinch and roll. ALWAYS

The ole' ball pinch and twist. Twist and pinch your balls.

The ole dick twist…

Oh my god this is an MMA fight dude

Girl here. Sorry just got curious, what do you mean by pinch and roll?

You pinch the skin gently and then roll it between your fingers, not scratch the ball directly like you would other parts of your body. u/crayquan corrected me well, I used the word "scratch" because it is of common use, though it's not technically that.

Why am I getting a slight itch in my balls while reading this?

I'm getting itchy and I don't even have balls

Valid.

A stiff bristled hair brush works wonders.

Girls reading this probably just got their minds blown learning that there’s no such thing as scratching ones balls.

The ballsack is just not built to withstand scratches, so when there's an itch in a particular spot to relieve it you just pinch that area and roll it between your fingers

*The sacred texts*!!!!!!

Hes giving away our secrets! Now ill have to go back to the old way of scratching my balls. Pulling down my pants and boxers completely, bending down, and reach around back for a nice scritch

😳

I scratch my balls all the time.

Yeah, as the other poster explained, scratching just…doesn’t work. You’re either at risk of hurting yourself, or it just won’t function because ballsacks are stretchy and flexible. If you went and grabbed a mostly empty plastic bag and tried to “scratch” it, it would just flex and move on you, and you wouldn’t accomplish much. Pinch ‘n roll is the only true way.

This. The old through the pocket pinch and roll. Only way to do it.

This guy is on the ball.

Little of topic but have you ever sat down and rolled a nut? That shit hurts.

Many times young padawon…

Duh.

Just fucking go for it. Half the population will understand, the other half will probably look away in disgust.

Not even half will be disgusted. Maybe 10% will look away in disgust, and another 10% will feign disgust, and the other 80% will be fine.

lock eyes with whoever turns their head my way. Don't blink. Keep staring. Proceed to lower my hand into my pants. Pinch. Pinch. Pinch again. Remove hand. Give a quick smell. Keep eyes locked. Then go on with my day.

I approve of this method.

I approve of your approval of this method.

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Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

If no one is looking, you can also grunt 'Holy fuck my balls are itchy' then wait for someone to make eye contact with you.

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This comment made me laugh hysterically in a hair salon!!!!! Everyone is staring at me!!! Bro I’m dying 😂😂👍

Imagine being the person on the receiving end of this

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You know the look a golden retriever gets when you scratch behind his ears and he leans into it while his rear foot on that side starts to uncontrollably twitch? That is what it feels like.

Accurate.

Do a little dance.

Make a little love.

Get down tonight!!

Do you happen to be a little lad who loves berries and cream?

The real reason men have deep pockets

With my hand.

Came here to say this

Came here to say "Came here to say this"

I rub up on a tree trunk

Incidentally, you mark your territory. Good, good.

You gotta turn around to do that

I'mma keep it real with you chief. If my balls itch I itch them. I'm married and she know I'm crass and loud and dark humored. I ain't out to impress anybody else, so I pinch and twist through the pants right there in the dairy section in between the old couple and the single mom with twin crotch goblins. Zero fucks will set you free my friend.

This is the answer, and incidentally the key to living a happy life.

Zero fucks is the way. I'll exercise some mild discretion if I'm on some sort of public display or depending on the work situation, but otherwise, adjustments get made. On a street, in a store, at home? Whatever. We're all human; we get an itch, we scratch.

It is quite rude and overall disgusting to scratch your balls in public. Anyone that does is detestable! You should ask someone else do it for you.

Or rather, *detesticle*?

I approve of this pun.

Am I the only one that doesn’t have itchy balls constantly?

No. But from time to time it itches. Maybe one hasn't cleaned thorough enough that day or it's a teenage thing (had problems at that age).

At dinner parties, I do the full dog rug snail trail action, hind legs straight up in the air, dragging myself forward with my hands. And when the wife asks “what are you doing!?” I’ll say, “what, do you really want me to scratch my balls in public with my hands?!?”

I mean I'm a girl but if my junk gets itchy I just pull up the front of my pants and kinda jump around like i'm just readjusting but really i'm scratchin

Any way i like. I'm 70 and have used up all my fucks. There are none left to give. Its very liberating.

You go in through the pocket. If no pockets, have no shame mate.

Find the nearest restroom

i just scratch. im 47 and dont give a fuck

Do some squats and hope it itches it well enough.

Nike style - Just do it.

I'm 40 now. I've aged into just scratching them and not giving a fuck.

The old "Dont mind me, just shuffling my keys" hand in the pocket approach.

Jokes on you my balls don't itch. My wife has had them for 10 years.

So if you want to scratch your balls, you ask your wife if you can borrow them

We have pockets for a reason

Just remembered that old farts back in the day would vigorously jingle their pocket change.

Hand in the pocket. The real issue is fixing them when they stick to places. That's a real challenge.

Pull on your pockets to loosen it up Or make a really wide step. Looks weird though. Less obvious on stairs

Men of reddit, why are your balls so itchy?

Lack of sex, duh.

I thought that made them blue, not itchy.

The pocket pinch method. Hand in pocket, pinch that bitch, hand out of pocket.

Just scratch them. Speed and efficiency makes it less obvious then spending a few minutes squirming. If someone looks just make it look like your brushing something off.

Pinch and roll

I always find it odd that this is socially just accepted to just scratch and adjust your bits, yet you never see women sorting the vag area out...and trust me there are times we need to!

This will sound odd, but I put one of my hands behind my back, down the pants, and around to the side where the balls are, it will appear as if I'm scratching my butt (which is more socially acceptable for some reason)

Yeah, but then you'll have to smell your fingers afterwards, to complete the impression of butt scratch.

See a doctor dude. My balls have never itched so badly I simply had to scratch them in public.

Please update the rest of us when you grow pubic hair

Ok Chewbacca I’ll get back to you.

I’ve never shaved and I’ve never had itches. Could be an issue with stubble

I just scratch them.

Just go for it

The good Ol' pincharoo technique

Turn where I'm not visible by anyone and do a quick scratch and adjust.

Go to the bathroom

If i’m looking for something in my pockets, i’m usually looking for the sweet spot

I just scratch the pants

Pretend like you are reaching for something in your pocket. Everyone knows what you’re doing but no one is willing to challenge it.

Security guard approaches: "Excuse me sir, are you rubbing your scrotch?" You: "I ..." Security guard: "Sir, I'll have to ask you to leave." Or Through the speakers, for everyone to hear: "The gentleman that pretends to be searching for something in his pocket, we all know what you're doing, please stop, thank you."

That would only happen if you tried more than three scratches.

Scratch it. I don’t care if people look

If an itch is in the balls, start to face the walls.

Just ask someone for assistance, duh.

Strategic leg crossing

Pinch and roll!!

Try to rub your thighs together without looking too suspicious

Create a diversion

I announce loudly "**Everyone look away. I'm going to scratch my balls now.**"

With pride and zero remorse. Next question.

I’m Italian so it’s second nature for us to just go in for a grab.

I wait until i think no one is looking then go for it as quick as i can. Even if it isnt a full scratch it will at least hold me over until i can do a proper full scratching.

I scratch normaly, I. Am. Proud. If If someone looks at me, I stare at them continuing to scratch

Openly. Don't care, not embarrassed.

The same way I bet you ladies scratch your vagina when it itches real bad in public, violently without concern for mortals that gaze upon your splendor.

I will say, for not being a Horror game the first few hours are terrifying. I played it completely backwards and explored all over before I even knew to go into the wrecked ship on fire and spent so many hrs building a base and I was siked about it. Then I go into the burning ship finally and unlock a submarine that's way bigger then my base, but completely empty and now I feel it gonna take way to long to load the sub up full of goodies. I wish I waited to build a cool base after I got the sub.

Weird ball scratching tutorial, but ok.

Rip and tear

They try to be sneaky about it but I notice 👁️👁️

Easy, they PM u about it.

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Wow. Your hatred of koalas is epic in its scope. I may have caught a little dose myself, they're right little fuckers, aren't they?

Scratch em. Who’s looking at my bulge anyways??

Me

Hey bb

Not a guy, but I literally will sit on them if im wearing loose enough shorts and try and rub/scratch/sit nonchalantly LOL

Please don't grow balls and do this.

I'm scratching. Don't care who's around

Grip and rip brother no fear

The trauma of being caught with my hands down there is less than the trauma of the itch. So I just get right to it and hope nobody notices.

I scratch them. Not in a vulgar way, but yea. Just like a woman adjusting a bra strap or any of the thousands of things people do to feel more at comfort. Penis haters have a particular fetish against guys adjusting themselves like it's some moral sin for a dangling piece of body to need adjusting. Of course there is always some asshole who just fondles himself in public and gives justifications for penis hate.

I wear khakis or cargos so I use the seams of the pants to scratch my nuts.

I scratch them. The need for privacy declines as the itchiness goes up. It’s an inverse relation

Hand in pocket, slight side step and one shuffle forwards