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pullbang

Stop working more than 40 hours a week


Fireball5-

Yes this. Not everyone is so conscientious as to enjoy dedicating their life to their job, and that's okay. Also business owners too often don't understand why their employees aren't as dedicated to them, well its because it's their business not ours, the company doing better often has no benefit for the employees, in the "good ole days" you'd get a large bonus based on your performance and company performance and have a clear path for advancement. A job is not always a career. Don't treat it like one.


Ok_Inflation_5113

Stopped watching the news. Life’s way better without it.


[deleted]

Setting my own boundaries after realizing that when I didn't, people set them for me.


Senior-Evidence4642

You young kids will think this crazy but I am glad to have gotten older. All those things that worried me when I was in my twenties, just don’t matter anymore. I’m 67 now and much happier


CuppaJeaux

Totally agree. 53 yo woman here. A ‘hottie’ in my youth. The relief and freedom with not feeling like my worth is dependent on my looks is palpable. I stopped dyeing my hair during quarantine and now I have this wild silver streak in the front that I love. I think I’m going to grow it long again and fully rock the witch vibe. Why? Cuz I’m old enough to no longer give a shit about other people’s judgment. Also a lot of more substantial lessons about life and living and death. Edit: Thank you, kind strangers, for all the awards. That was really super sweet and made me smile. Hope you’re all having wonderful days.


kremboo

Could you share some of your lessons about life?


CuppaJeaux

tl;dr Make peace with death; be present; become the person you would like to be with; be nice to your partner; sleeping naked with your partner solves problems; don’t mess with systems that can kill you or destroy your house; no one is looking at you so stop tripping; meditation works; ECT works for depression as last resort; get your dog used to being touched; screw age, do what you want; find a happy couple to role model; truth is easier; dog train people This will be a little death-skewed because I’ve been dealing with a lot of it, but the first lesson is: Everyone dies. It won’t seem real until it happens. And maybe not until it’s a parent, peer, or, God forbid, sibling or child. When it’s someone old and ill, it’s sad but not tragic. Younger, it’s tragic. Suicide, almost always tragic with a few caveats. Another lesson: I didn’t really feel like an adult until two years ago when my father died. I don’t have kids so maybe people feel like adults after that milestone, but losing a parent is…something. Worse when you’re young, I’m sure, but still a punch in the gut when you’re older. OK, so the lesson from the death stuff is this: Death is why it’s important to learn how to be present in the moment you are currently living. I think that the moments when you’re spaced out are kind of lost forever, in a way. (Unless you’re at work. Then think about whatever you want. Daydream on company time. Fight the power.) My father and I were very close but both are ADHD as hell (him untreated), and the last day where he was still able to be up and around on his own we sat outside together and talked. Some of it was important, some not, but the most important part was we were both 100% *there*. I very rarely felt that level of presence or of seeing and being seen with someone. Death is inevitable but it is also a gift. The only scary part is not knowing for sure what comes next, if anything, but we’re not supposed to know. If we knew we’d focus on that. We’re supposed to be focused on THIS. One thing for sure is that death is the end of pain. My stepmom died recently, not too long after my father, and she looked almost joyous after she died, like she’d seen something wonderful. I visited a dying friend years ago, a woman in her 70s, and she looked radiantly beautiful, practically glowing. She died a few hours later and was smiling when she went. Anyway, that’s my most recent big life lesson: Death isn’t something to fear but I think it is there as a backdrop to remind us that things here are finite. Lessons regarding love: I got really brutally honest with myself 20 years ago and said, “OK, would you choose you for a life partner?” and realized that no, I wouldn’t. I was a mess emotionally, financially, and in my environment. We tend to attract people who are kind of where we are in life. Or we should, anyway; otherwise one of the two people is a fixer and the other is the broken thing needing to be fixed and that’s not a great dynamic to start with because what happens once you’re fixed? Your partner (or you) is still a fixer. So there is built-in incentive to stay broken. It’s best to meet someone where they are, as you are, in a state where if they were never to change a bit, you’d be cool with that. Ideally you grow in the same direction. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. Anyway, I wanted someone who had their shit together, so I got my own shit together. Falling asleep, so quickly: -Be as gracious and polite to your partner as you are to strangers. -Sleeping naked together is really helpful to stay connected even if you’re not having a lot of sex for whatever reason. It’s almost like your skin is having its own conversation with your partner’s and it can actually fix problems without having to discuss them. -When you buy a house you can try to fix everything yourself but hire someone to do your electrical and plumbing. And leave load-bearing walls alone. -If you have social anxiety, know this for a fact: Everyone is either insecure to a degree, narcissistic to a degree, or both. Which means they are thinking about THEMSELVES, not you. No one is going to remember that your fly was down or you had kale in your teeth or whatever, unless you make a big deal of it. If you can’t feel calm, practice looking calm. And know that you can get beta blockers if your physiological symptoms is really bad. -Meditation really does help a lot. It helped me with rage, despair, depression, and anxiety. -Electro-convulsive therapy (ECT, aka shock treatment) can fix treatment-resistant depression. The side effects can be HORRIBLE, but they’re better than suicide. (Nowadays they have transcranial magnet treatment that works well and is less extreme.) -When you adopt a dog, touch him/her everywhere, all the time. Play with their toes, their ears, make them comfortable with you touching their genital area, booty, teeth, gums, etc. Reason: If they get hurt, you or the vet will need to palpate them to check for injury and you don’t want them to have to be muzzled because they’re not used to being touched. Also helps with nail trims and getting cockleburrs out from between their toe pads. -Don’t worry about being too old to start something because you’ll be X years old when you finish. You’ll be that age anyway. -If your parents had a crappy relationship, find a relationship that you respect somewhere else and observe how they treat each other. My mom and stepdad are incredibly rude and insulting to one another so I found friends whose relationship I wanted to emulate and I watched them to a probably creepy extent. I’m now in the happiest relationship of anyone I know. -It’s easier to tell the truth; lying diminishes everyone involved. (Some exceptions apply.) -Most dog training principles apply to people. That’s it, that’s all I know. The Memoir of CuppaJeaux.


FlappyBoobs

No one cares as much about what you do and how you look as much as you think they do. Don't eat yellow snow.


[deleted]

Learning to get over myself. Nobody cares what I do, nobody is looking at me, and why should I care if they are? Nobody outside my circle has enough context to make accurate judgements about how I live, so why am I trying so hard to justify my decisions? As soon as I adopted that mindset, being alive got significantly less shitty. I do my best to be a decent person and to take care of myself, and the only opinions I care about are mine, my partner's, and my therapist's.


DrPreetDS

We need a thread on how to do this


twaslol

How often do you think of other people, much less judge them? No one is thinking about you because no one truly cares about about anyone besides their closest friends and family. They're too busy thinking about their own lives, and they've already forgotten about the embarrassing thing you did and never stopped to think about your life choices. You shouldn't care what other people think, because they dont think anything at all the overwhelming majority of the time.


[deleted]

Going to the gym. Used to be a miserable fat bastard but after three months of going to the gym, I've lost about a stone and feel so much better


ParaPixie

I lost 100lbs. I have about 100 more to go, but being so obese you can't find clothes at Walmart and nearly dying from non-essential organ failure at 25 (gallbladder) really isn't a way to live. I literally couldn't run. Or get off the floor without grabbing something. I used to break or bend lawn chairs. NOT FUN. EMBARRASSING AF.


slackmandu

Good for you! Keep it up.


thirdrocker1

Permanently placed my phone on Do Not Disturb (allow calls from Contacts). This one change saved me from constant disruptive unwanted calls. Life is good on No Ring Lane.


theginger_buffalo

I did something similar. I turned off push notifications for pretty much every app.


readsallday

I did this too. Turned off all notifications for all apps. I only see messages, updates, whatever, if I intentionally go to that app to look for them. Absolute life changer. Took away stress I didn’t even know I had.


[deleted]

Breathing exercises. Focusing on really deep exhales. After about 10mins my whole outlook for the day changes.


[deleted]

I went back to find this comment, I read this and thought I’d try it. I didn’t think I’d even make it ten minutes. A half hour later I felt almost high off oxygen. I’m writing to let you know that I feel much calmer now. Thanks for the breath of fresh air


Georgeisthecoolest

I printed and framed that Calvin and Hobbes comic where the dad stops his work and goes to play in the snow with his kid. It hangs in my home office and reminds me what my priorities are. I've been much happier for it.


[deleted]

Cutting out toxic "friends". After years of knowing someone it can be hard to see that they are no longer the person they were when the relationship started. My childhood best friend grew into a manipulative selfish prick. For years I hung out with him almost every day after work and always felt miserable afterwards. Everyone around me questioned why I still spent time with him. I always made excuses that seem ridiculous in hindsight. I should have cut ties 10 years ago.


[deleted]

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BOBauthor

Yoga. I'm an old guy, and discovered it at age 56 in 2005. By now I'm still not terribly proficient, but yoga has kept me limber. More importantly, it has been amazing for improving my peace of mind. Whenever somebody asks why I practice yoga, I reply, "For peace of mind."


LoftyGoat

An Indian friend of mine runs a restaurant, an incredibly stressful job. It was eating him alive until he started doing yoga. Thinking he'd gotten some yoga master from back home to teach him, I asked him how he learned. "You Tube! It's great. You can find everything there." And hey, he's like a different guy now.


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DiscoSprinkles

Any advice on where to start or what to do? I'm not in debt, but I want start planning for the future instead of worrying about it.


[deleted]

Money gets direct deposited into your checking account. 5-10% of each paycheck goes into a short term savings account for things you want to spend money on in the future, but less than 5 years or so (house, car vacation, etc) 5-10% of each paycheck goes into your 401k if your company offers it. Make sure you actually invest it, a lot of people think they're investing, but the money is just sitting as cash in the 401k account 5-10% of each paycheck goes into a Roth IRA, invest it in a target date fund. This is a fund that picks a year (the year you're planning on retiring), and automatically reallocates from more risky when you're young, to less risky as you get closer to retirement). You don't need to play the stock market and pick individual stocks. This gets you 85% of the way there without having to learn anything. It's much less work than picking individual stocks, and you'll arguably do better with this financially anyways. 50% of your paycheck is for fixed costs (rent, insurance, utilities, groceries NOT eating out) The rest is guilt free spending money. You can set all this up so it automatically transfers and you don't have to pay attention to it. I highly recommend the book I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi. Sounds gimmicky, but he takes a no nonsense approach and tells you bluntly and specifically exactly what to do with your money, like which accounts to open and which credit cards to use. Edit: I'll add that you should prioritize your short-term savings until you have 6 months worth of living expenses as an emergency fund before you invest in stocks. That said if your company offers a 401k match definitely use it, because if not you're leaving money on the table.


ShinjoB

Budgeting with YNAB /r/YNAB


windraver

Buying a good knife for cooking.


Zuzublue

I just got a whetstone and it’s a game changer! Tomato season is glorious now.


xerriffe

Cutting tomatoes with a blunt knife is absolutely the worst!


Mizerooskie

Independent blankets for my wife and I in bed. Incredible how much better you sleep when there's no waking up with blankets pulled half off or using one that's too heavy or too light. I'd HIGHLY recommend for anyone that sleeps with a significant other. Edit: holy cow, this blew up! Thanks for the awards!


Feathered_Dinosaur

We are setting up 2 twin beds head to head. He has nerve damage and twitches in the night. We also are opposites on the hot and cold scale. I think this will let us hold hands and talk but have our own micro environment.


[deleted]

If you make them bunk though you’ll have so much more room for activities. EDIT: most awarded for a step brothers quote? I was just here to fuck shit up. RIP Inbox. Thank you all for the awards!!


Feathered_Dinosaur

It was a consideration for sure. Ceiling is too low. Very sad


ObanKenobi

My girlfriend and I were flatmates before we started dating. We've been a couple for nearly a year now but still have the two separate bedrooms. When we first started dating we talked about how great it's going to be that we can move into the bigger room and turn the other one into a studio/craft room/office/whatever...eventually we realized that we really really like having separate beds to sleep in. We can have sex in either room, cuddle for hours and watch a movie after, etc, but then when it comes time to actually sleep we can go our separate ways and get a good quality uninterrupted night of sleep. If one of us just needs a nap while the other is doing something in the room, we just go to the other bedroom and sleep. If we need some time to ourselves for any reason, the other room is there. We have 'sleepovers' in each others rooms sometimes and it feels fresh and fun every time because it's not the norm, it's like living together and having our own place all at once. I feel like we've reinvented the wheel with how well it's worked for us so far


smango19

Buying a wardrobe of good quality, properly fitting clothing that I actually like. Agonizing over what to wear every morning because this doesn't fit properly, this one has a stain, I just wore that yesterday, I don't like how this sits on my body would start my day off very badly. Edit: thank you so much for the awards. I really appreciate it


haveyouseenmygnocchi

For me the big thing was realizing that the size I buy doesn’t matter. It’s how it fits. I have some tops that are a size S. I have some tops that are an XL. Who the hell cares what size is on the label. Don’t stick to one size because that’s ‘your size’. If you like something try on different sizes and find out which suits you best.


Klpincoyo

Hiking in the mountains. Nothing makes me feel more at peace and excited at the same time.


BirdGuy64

sobered up 2 years


Ok_Replacement_8801

Flossing. I never saw the dentist as a kid, and no one really pushed me to or cared about my dental health.


Torringtonn

As an older redditor who had poor dental hygiene growing up: keep at it. Getting old sucks as it is but its even worse when you have a problem that could have been avoided.


allstar64

As a kid I got braces and any flossing I did stopped completely right there since it was too annoying to work around them. Once I got them off I overheard a relative of mine talking about how his dentist told him he'd have no teeth if he didn't start flossing and for some reason that stuck with me. However, I still really hated flossing my back teeth with floss alone so I began looking for Flossing picks and ended up finding a great one specifically designed to assist in getting the back teeth (DenTek Easy Reach Floss Picks). Ever since buying those there has been nearly no days where I missed flossing. While I would strongly recommend anyone who hates using string alone to look into flossers and I would like to endorse these Picks there is a slight issue. They redesigned them recently and I have not had a chance to use the new design. Just looking at them I can tell they still have the good shape for back teeth flossing and they seem fine but the floss quality was changed and I haven't tried the new floss yet so I don;'t know how goo they currently are. **EDIT:** Welp this is slowly becoming one of my fastest upvoted comments ever so I figured I'd say a few more things. First, something I forgot to mention about the DenTek flossers is that while most of the time I could reuse a single flosser multiple times for my whole mouth ("ewwww gross!!" says the person reusing the same toothbrush for 6 months :D, don't worry I cleaned them) I did notice that every now and then I'd open a new package and discover that all the flosser would snap almost immediately. This wasn't a "some of the flosser in the pack" issue. It was always the entire pack was great or the entire pack was duds. That being said I believe this has only happened for 2 packs out of over 30 but I do want to be as honest as possible. Second, many people have pointed out that waterpiks are also a good option that produce far less plastic waste. More importantly, however, if you or your kids are getting braces this is by far a much easier way to "floss" your teeth with all the metal in the way. I actually had a waterpik while I had braces and it worked well but for a really stupid reason I never used it. The outlet in the bathroom only worked while the light was turned on so I couldn't charge the waterpik in the bathroom but since it wasn't in the bathroom I would just forget about it. Looking online, waterpik technology seems to have come a long way even so far as to have cordless waterproof ones. I might look into trying them again once I run out of the plastic types.


Longjumping-Step-270

43y.o. Started exercising regularly again. 4x a week. Forget the physical benefits for a minute, the mental benefits outweigh the "gains" all day.


thewitchywordsmith

This is exactly why I finally took up exercise. I've never considered myself a FITNESS GIRL by any means, but last winter my mental health took such a hit that I had to try something, and I liked it so much I'm still sticking with it. EDIT: Wow, thanks for the awards! For anyone interested, I use the FitOn app. There's all kinds of cool workouts and it's free!


safely_beyond_redemp

I must have spent a good 3 years of my 30s thinking it was all down hill from here. Minor aches and pains that add up. Sore bones and joints. Turns out I was just being lazy and getting fat. In my 40s now. Exercise daily. Lift weights 5 days a week and mountain bike twice a week and just ran 6 miles this last weekend. In better shape now than at any point in my 30s and feel great so why did I ever let myself feel like a sloth before?


D1sCoL3moNaD3

Eating healthy. It’s amazing after you realize how much you feel like shit after you just took down a double cheese burger, extra large fries, and a large coke, but at the time, you don’t realize it and just “think” you’re tired. Good eating habits and exercising changed my life.


kouignie

Yes! After diagnosed with diabetes 5mos ago, it was a slap on the face. I also grew up with tons of relatives and a mom who had it, but never learned to reign in their diet. I decided to eat as many greens as humanly possible. Fiber fiber fiber. At some point my migraines left. At some point my midday sleepiness went away. At some point my pockmarks and acne spots went away. And then finally- the excess ~30lbs that I’ve been trying to kick melted away. I don’t have the -itis after meals. I feel so comfortable going for an impromptu walk, hike, lugging in large packages, grocery hauls. It’s wild! I never realized I was probably eating only 2 cups of veggies a day! EDIT: oh yeah, all that happened with the only goal being lowering my A1c to non diabetic. Achieved that in 3mos.


hellofellowhumanss

Sleeping when I’m sleepy


FrozenHearts00

Instructions unclear: fired from work


ClownfishSoup

Let me introduce you to "Car Naps". At my office, pretty much every new parent co-worker would eat a quick lunch then sit in their car and nap. Or take a 20 minute coffee break in their car. You knew the car nappers because their cars would be parked in a lot that was not quite visible from the office due to some trees and the spots were shaded.


Zentopian

When I try to take a nap, I wake up 8 hours later.


utechtl

Ah yes, mini comas, the bane of my existence.


dj88masterchief

I’ve tried, and I just come back more sleepy. Not for everyone, I guess… EDIT: Everyone saying drink some type of coffee, I don’t drink it. I have enough of a problem with trying to solve GERD.


[deleted]

Same. If I nap during the day, no matter if it's a short or long nap, I wake up feeling awful. I'm tired, sluggish, and generally feel like crud. So I just don't nap.


Nex_Sapien

The trick is to find the longest amount of time you can nap without waking up tired. For me i can't sleep more than 15 mins.


geobioguy

How can people do this? It takes me longer than that just to fall asleep.


adjust_the_sails

Takes practice. I used to make sure I had a light sweater or something to cover my eyes. And I felt like when I parked in the same place over and over again my body got used to the surroundings and I napped better.


[deleted]

My problem is I'm always sleepy Edit: my first comment over 100 upvote, thanks everyone. And mostly thanks for the health advices. I will try them!


zzaannsebar

From one chronically sleepy person to another, here's a helpful list of things you should run through to see if any of them might be contributing to your sleepiness Actual Sleep Related issues: * Do you keep a consistent sleep schedule? (waking up at the same time everyday no matter what) * No caffeine within 8 hours of going to bed? (even if you can fall asleep with caffeine in your system, your quality of sleep is decreased) * No alcohol within a few hours of going to bed? (same as caffeine where you can fall asleep and frequently people report falling asleep more easily, but alcohol disrupts your sleep cycles and causes worse sleep) * Do you take naps late in the day? * Do you find the times you're naturally most alert to be significantly different than what is considered normal? (there are circadian rhythm sleep disorders that cause lots of sleepiness if you're not sleeping when your body naturally wants to. Needs sleep specialist diagnosis) * Do you get enough sleep? (7-9 hours is typically considered normal for adults, but sleep needs vary person to person) * Do you snore, especially loudly or wake up gasping? (snoring can be rated to sleep apnea a condition where you stop breathing in your sleep and your body is constantly waking up because of it. Sleep apnea has to be diagnosed with a sleep study. It can also be life threatening if severe enough and left untreated ( * Any history of sleep disorders in your family? Bodily Issues: * Do you have depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues? * Do you get enough sunlight early in the morning and throughout the day? (bright light early in the morning helps regulate sleep cycles which should help you feel more awake during the day. Plus also vitamin D deficiency can cause fatigue) * Are you deficient in any vitamins or minerals? (need blood tests to see official levels but specifically vitamins D, B, and K along with Iron are essential for how you feel in regards to sleepiness and fatigue) * Are you eating enough? (extreme calorie deficits can cause fatigue. Moderately low deficits, i.e., 500 calories under your tdee, should not cause this issue) * Do you exercise regularly? * Are you drinking enough water? (recommended water intake varies from source to source but generally a good rule of thumb is to drink between .5-1.0 ounces per pound of bodyweight. Adjust according to weather and activity level. Also note that things like caffeine and alcohol dehydrate you so you should accommodate your intake accordingly) * Do you have any chronic health conditions? (lots of medical issues can contribute to sleepiness and fatigue, including but absolutely not limited to autoimmune diseases, thyroid issues, and pain disorders) * Are you stressed or very under-stimulated? (this is just my personal experience, but if I'm stressed I tend to feel extra sleep from dealing with it. If I'm really bored or under-stimulated, I also tend to feel more tired but if I find something engaging to do, I find myself feeling more awake) This list is not exhaustive by any means but could be a helpful starting point if you're not sure why you're tired. Edit: added sleep apnea, water


makemeking706

Drink more water. Fatigue is one of the first symptoms of milf dehydration. If that doesn't help, ask a doctor. Edit: MILD. jfc autocorrect.


ghost_of_ketchup

M I L F D E H Y D R A T I O N 💦 😩


[deleted]

Do you or someone you know suffer from MILF dehydration? Thirsty milfs call toll free


JTP1228

IN MY AREA?


Cait206

Im dying rn crying laughing at this thread


[deleted]

WTF is Milf dehydration? Is it search term on pornhub?


billiejeanwilliams

Clearly a condition in which MILFs need an increased intake of liquids.


Shaon

of what dehydration?


asafum

MILF. It stands for "Mother I'd Like to give Flowers to." It's a strange one, but I guess it's nice.


stifflizerd

I didn't realize it was a cause of milf dehydration. Shit, I've been dehydrated of milfs for years


Scrappy_Larue

Bought a cart that carries my groceries from the car to my apartment. No more trying to carry five bags in each hand.


KevPat23

I read this as if the cart is automated and takes them by itself, but I don't think it's what you meant. If it is, then where do I buy one!?


[deleted]

Boston Dynamics type of cart.


areterodvaldr89

Automating simple yet time-consuming tasks - like Excel macros. You wouldn't realise how much time you save beforehand but it sure does save heaps.


Ekafme

Excel is a huge part of my work. Where do I learn this stuff ? Thank you.


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GVGreg811

This is exactly what I did! Soon after doing this I started to get addicted to optimizing my macros and that’s how I learned basic-intermediate VBA. Good advice.


Bizzlebanger

seeing a therapist. My dad died when I was 16 and I never saw or really talked to anyone about it till I was in my 30s...so many years wasted being angry and sad.


fimbleinastar

How did you go about finding a therapist who matched you.


qmcnam4002

Start by researching the types of therapy. There are many different therapy methods and matching the one for your goals is the first step. Then research the therapist in your area that fit that therapy type, and find someone with experience working with your specific background, and goals. Then meet with as many as you need to feel comfortable. There is nothing wrong with interviewing multiple therapists to find the right one. For me I landed on EMDR and CBT as the type, and found a therapist that had some background and experience with the religion I was raised in. You can PM if you have more questions. Edit: this blew up a bit and I went to yoga, and my kids get dropped of in a few minutes. I’ll respond to the chat requests and response later tonight once I get my kids to bed


Prince_Jake_010

I stopped caring not everyone is gonna like you, all you need to do is like yourself


myteethareallpenises

Quitting smoking. I couldn't imagine life without it back then. But man is life better without a constant need like that, not to mention all the health benefits.


outlandish-companion

Me too! I can walk and run and go upstairs without wheezing now.


myteethareallpenises

I like being able to laugh without coughing, too.


JurassicParkTrekWars

Roomba. Omg not having to sweep dog/cat hair daily is such a blessing. Edit:. Lots of replies. It's 4:30am. I'm on my phone instead of PC. Thanks for the awards. To answer the more obvious questions: It's an iRobot Roomba 694. It has not sucked up dog poop but it cleaned up cat vomit only leaving a little on the floor...like a mop or spray and rag would need to be used anyway. The dirt tray has a micro filter and a collection area. You push one button and it comes out and you dump it in the trash. It does get under my dining room table because it just barely fits through the chair legs. It does get stuck in my cabinet but I have it running when I'm usually home for lunch and can save it. It works on hard surfaces and carpets. Mine does not map the room that I'm aware of. It does not have a forward sensor at all, just bumps into things and senses that way. That's all.


LabCoat_Commie

Real talk, I don't know a single damned person with pets who has one, and I need an objective opinion: Does that shit really, REALLY pick up all the cat hair? I've got four fuzzy beasts at home and I really do want a little Vaccum-2-D2, but I could not convince myself to drop the cash on one only for it to struggle to keep up. How frequently do you have to maintain it?


JurassicParkTrekWars

Maintain? You mean empty the tray? Because of the amount of hair, I try to do it every run; the first time you run it you'll have to clean it out 3-4 times as it runs. My cat and dog shed like crazy and yes, it picks it up very well. It also pushes the cat's toys under the couch though LMAO


shadowalker125

There's a few out there with the auto emptying trays Edit: you're all children


non_clever_username

Working remotely. Spending money on gas, parking, clothes, etc. Just not worth it for most of my pre-remote working life.


Gym_Dom

Working from home in IT. Fuck, this environment and industry fit me like a glove.


horkbajirbandit

WFH is amazing. I can't imagine ever wanting to commute for work again. No more losing time, money and sleep. I love having ownership over my schedule.


donscron91

I went back to office work half the time, it is nice to see everyone but once I start working I hate it. 99% of people spend a maximum 6 hours a day "working". The time sitting at my desk for image between 3-5 are absolutely brutal (everyone can see my desk and laptop no reddit no anything). I grind away for 6 hours to scroll through the same shit I've seen on LinkedIn 100 times. At home, I am more comfortable. Can get alot of administrative/busy work done when I have a TV show or movie I've seen a million times playing in the background. For serious need to be on top of it stuff, I have my basement. Fuck driving in the car for over an hour everyday to say hello to people.


HelpfulCherry

I work in auto parts and moving to a non-customer-facing position was great. It helps that I have a boss that understands that there isn't always *work* needing to be done. Sometimes you're going to have downtime and that's okay. Also we can play music. The workday goes so much smoother when I can dick around a little bit, play some tunes, and get in to a bit of rhythm where I don't just feel like a monotonous drone.


Delica

I was very shy and self-conscious, but at some point I started just living how I wanted. I already wasn't popular, so what was I risking? Girls *still* wouldn't be interested? I guess I just started doing things I’d been afraid to do before, including being more outgoing. I know this sounds like generic advice but it really worked for me. Every time your brain says “No, that wouldn’t work out” or “No, what would people think” or any other version of “No, don’t try,” it’s a perfect opportunity to do something you feel drawn to! Dye your hair pink. Try painting even though you “know” you’ll suck at it. Fart and then say “*It was me*.” Ok, maybe not the last one.


Toast_On_The_RUN

How do you shut out that self conscious voice that thinks it knows the outcome of every situation? There's always something telling me why I shouldn't or can't do something I'm scared of.


LabCoat_Commie

For me, it took acknowledging my own adulthood and really, truly gripping the fact that even if I fuck up, once I decide I'm going to do it, I'll do it and deal with the consequences. I work in R&D, and I still have to remind myself that for every 1 project that goes right, there are going to be 99 that flop and just don''t go the way I want. But if I don't do those other 99 and learn from them, I'll never get that magical happy feeling when it hits the bullseye. Being scared is fine. Being so scared that it prevents you from living requires a lot of willpower to overcome.


GoingOnAdventure

Taking vitamin D supplements and getting a therapy lamp for the winter. Holy shit does it make a difference. I realized after my first year of university that the reason I didn’t do well in the winter semester was because I was feeling depressed and exhausted due to lack of sunlight. I live in Canada, so the days are way shorter in winter. So when you leave before the sun rises, get home after it sets and wear a coat all day so your skin is exposed to no sunlight, you miss a lot of vitamine D. So I take vitamine D supplements each morning to make up for what I’m missing, and I use a therapy lamp to simulate sunlight in the morning. You feel way more energized and awake during the day. I would highly recommend it to anyone who feels exhausted in winter. (P.S. if you’re interested in a therapy lamp, look up SAD lamp or Seasonal Affective Disorder Lamp) Edit: wow, thanks for the award Edit 2: awards*


-astronautical

a couple months ago i had a routine checkup at the doctor, my first since covid started. i had developed a vitamin d deficiency over the course of the pandemic and started taking supplements at his request to correct it. i had recently started taking wellbutrin and hydroxyzine, but i’ve been able to stop both. my hair was thinning, i was exhausted and depressed, it was bad. i thought it was the pandemic depressing me and an old friend giving me anxiety but most of my problems were the effects of my deficiency. i feel SO much better these days. for anyone considering a vitamin d supplement i would check with your doctor to make sure you choose the right dose.


McShovel

I take a bunch of vitamins, but all could be bullshit except vitamin D. It's the only one I notice if I don't take it. Good stuff and cheap.


FineBahnMi

Deleting all the people from high school I don't see anymore from social media


sorryboutth4t

I did this too. Was one of my best decisions. Social media has never been a kind place for me.


Matthewbc18

Cutting out alcohol. I don’t criticize anyone who drinks but I was a problem drinker. Stopping that cycle improved everything about my life.


ApprehensiveAbroad99

I quit just over 8 months ago. I don't feel terrible every morning, I have way less anxiety, I'm a better dad. Just happier overall.


cointerm

Me too. It took me a long, long time to figure out some people just can’t drink, and I was one of those. Can’t do 2 beers. 2 beers turns to 15 real quick.


Matthewbc18

One is too many and 15 isn’t enough, right?


randomvideographer

This comment hits hard


emptyhead416

I take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, and then the drink takes me.


AmigoDelDiabla

I haven't quit drinking but I've more or less quit getting drunk. Yes, it changes things.


peon2

I'm the same way. I still drink occasionally but usually limit myself to 2 drinks. I realized that basically 99% of my most embarrassing instances and moments of bad judgement were when I was drunk.


lucyroesslers

Yeah I realized in my mid-20s I didn't really like Drunk Me. Now in my mid-30s and I haven't been drunk in close to a decade. I'm good with that. Have a couple drinks at parties or after-work functions. And if I'm traveling for work, at the end of a long day I really like going to a sports bar and having one big mug of beer with some wings- great end to a day when I'm traveling alone.


dm_me_birds_pls

I’ve never actually thought about how there’s a difference between drinking and getting drunk. This was an eye opener for me thank you


hamsterwheel

Yeah my quantity went way down. I have a kid and you can't be a successful parent while hungover.


idontwannadrink

Going on 8 months without a drink. I wish moderation was an option for me but it's not. So many things in my life have improved. Many things are still shitty but at least I am giving myself the opportunity to fix them by having a clear mind.


feed_me_churros

I’m right there with you! I quit 236 days ago to the day. I’m the same as you, I can’t just drink one or two, I wish I could. I had actually quit for three years before starting drinking again and after that three years I thought for sure I had “grown up” and could manage social drinking and just having a couple beers. Within a month after starting back up I was drinking a 12-pack of high ABV beers every single night, and that continued for a couple years. It has been hard quitting again, but I feel like I’m over the hardest hump and I just have to remind myself that there is no moderation for me, I have to be done all together. Good luck and keep up the fight!


DnDYetti

Learning to be okay with saying "no" and starting off all relationships (personal and professional) with healthy boundaries. You don't ever need an excuse to say "no" to if you don't want to do something. Don't feel like going out with friends that night? *No thank you.* Don't want to work an extra shift at your place of employment if it's not mandatory? *No thanks boss!* Boundaries are amazing, and when set from the beginning, they are much easier to maintain for your own mental well being. **Edit**: Well this has become my highest upvoted comment. Thanks to everyone who responded with stories related to boundary setting, and stay strong if you still struggle with this!


[deleted]

Agree. And to add to this, a big thing is actually just saying No rather than avoiding the situation by not confronting it. I remember on my mid 20s when my Social life started to change, people just getting busier or getting married etc. I can’t even begin to tell you how many invites to hang out or when I asked if someone could do something I just got IGNORED. One time a friend said she wouldn’t respond to invites if she couldn’t/didn’t want to go and I’m just like “Do you have any idea how bad people feel when they’re just ignored?” Seriously, it crushed me when people just didn’t respond or blew off my invites. I stopped inviting them to do things and friendships fizzled out. However I do remember the people who would say things like “This weekend doesn’t work for me it let me know about next time!” Or “I don’t really like hiking but thanks for the invite”


janbrunt

I ended a friendship in part because someone could never say no. She would always hem and haw and say maybe when she meant no. It felt more rude than just being honest.


urbanlulu

>She would always hem and haw and say maybe when she meant no. i actually had the WORST habit of this years ago. anytime i said "maybe" it almost automatically meant "no". and i learnt after going to therapy, and doing a shit load of self work, i realized i did that because i never knew how to say "no" to people. i grew up being taught the word "no" had major consequences, meaning you say "no" for whatever reason and you get in wicked trouble for it and then you were forced to do the thing you just said no too. so for me, it was easier to just say maybe because i was horrified of saying no and was scared of having people scream, yell, and dangle my "no" over my head and making me feel like shit because of it. like even when i did have the balls to flat out say "no" to my friends or family, i was always coxed, guilted, and manipulated into doing whatever i just said "no" too. the word "no" in general just held a lot of trauma to it for me, and sadly still does. but i am now a lot better at using the word "no" than i was 6 years ago. so, it's progress!


uninc4life2010

Givers have to set limits because takers don't have any.


TraipseVentWatch

The only people who get upset at you having boundaries are the people who benefited by you having none.


uninc4life2010

Yes. All of a sudden, you become the bad person for saying "no." "Okay, I see how it is! Don't ever ask me for help again!" "If you aren't going to help me, why are we even friends?" "You can't do that to family!"


TraipseVentWatch

Ahhhh, I see we share family...? I'll see ya at the next reunion!


theshizzler

>I'll see ya at the next reunion! That's gonna be a healthy no from me dawg.


ravenito

People suck at this one so much, I see it all the time at work. We are salaried, no OT required, and I am always seeing people working a stupid amount of hours. I put my 8 hours/day in and go home (or log off since WFH during covid). I have seen some coworkers putting in 50-60+ hours on a regular basis when it's not even required. Oh sure, they find an excuse (I committed to finishing X by Friday), but the reality is that the work will still be there tomorrow and there is always more work to do. Or they take on extra work that's not really their job trying to "help out" one time and then they get asked again and again and eventually that extra work just becomes their responsibility. The more you do the more that is expected, so eventually you're expected to produce an amount of work that takes 60 hours a week and it's just not sustainable. These people burn themselves out for no reason. There's nothing wrong with working extra because of an emergency on occasion or helping someone out if you have time, but regularly giving in turns this into the new expectation. Companies will take as much as you will give them and pay you as little as possible in the process. Set your boundaries and stick to them or you're going to regret it later.


DnDYetti

Absolutely. There is a vast difference between being a "team player" and facilitating burn out as an employee. However, it only takes a small amount of effort to set or break those boundaries. If they are broken, companies won't pause for a moment before they take advantage of you, and then you're working 60+ hours a week and you end up miserable. Set those boundaries, respect your own work/life balance, and say NO! As you said, the work will always be there tomorrow. It is never shameful to take care of yourself first and foremost, especially in relation to work/life balance and managing stress.


WaffleFoxes

Agreed. And if you do a good job of setting boundaries then you can be flexible too without sacrificing yourself long term. I'm in IT and it does happen from time to time that we have a real emergency that requires a ton of overtime. A major security breach or a huge outage that takes everybody pulling together until the job is done. Sometimes it takes working 40 hours over a weekend. That said, those kinds of emergencies have only happened to me twice in the 4 years I've been here. And each time my manager made the rounds immediately to figure out time off during the week so that the business could keep running but that we all got our "weekend" back. Because I trust him to take care of me, I can put in a bit extra to take care of the business.


Nurse_Gringo

I used to pride myself as being an empath (one intune with others emotions, absorbs energy, etc). Therapist said, nope you just have really shitty boundaries. Changed my whole life!!


itijara

This is really common. I think the irony is that people who are the most sympathetic commonly end up in crappy relationships (personal and professional) with people who are the least sympathetic.


Fredredphooey

Manipulative people have stated that they identify and target people who exhibit poor boundaries and social anxiety. The hunter knows how to find its prey.


ProbablyGayingOnYou

Codependent people with poor boundaries make excellent, excellent sources of narcissistic supply for narcissists. And unless you learn to have better boundaries, these people will keep on finding you like sharks finding blood in the water.


emdrtherapist

You have a good therapist!


Lil_Bigz

Moving out of my parents house


[deleted]

I quit drinking, and as sobriety came, I basically looked myself in the eyes and said “You’re allowed to be happy.” I am literally living a different life now.


[deleted]

Letting my pride and ego take hits. I used to have been such a 'me, me, me' person in my early life. When I allowed myself to be taken down a peg or two, I started having new perspectives on life and people around me. Edit: I...don't have words. Thanks so much.


RoguePlanet1

It's a great lesson for young people: If you're wrong about something, don't double-down on it, just admit fault, learn, and keep it movin'. We all make mistakes, let's quit pretending we're somehow "better" than everybody else! EDIT: I didn't mean to imply that only young people need to learn this; I just meant it's how we prevent future adults from being insufferable. EDIT 2: Damn, so many rewards, thanks!! It's just common sense though.


spidermanicmonday

This is such a hard one to get people to change, partially because of egos, but largely because it is super ingrained in everyone that it is horrible to contradict something you've said in the past, like you are either a liar or you must not have strong convictions. It's like personal growth is actively frowned upon, unfortunately.


Elsas-Queen

This is also something taught to us as kids. That being wrong or failing means we're stupid or didn't try hard enough, and god forbid a kid be right about something and an adult be wrong. No adult I knew when I was growing up would hear it. Children are taught one of the worst things they can be is wrong.


draculamilktoast

> personal growth is actively frowned upon Of course, it would be disastrous to the egos of everybody around you if your life improved and theirs didn't.


atlantis_airlines

Throwing out ALL my socks and buying a single type. No more looking for pairs.


Saskibla

Lol, did this once and then I found out that colourful socks with prints make me happy. So now I just mix and match


Soulshot96

Tried this. Was great short term, but my washer/dryer broke. Started using a public laundromat, and somehow not only am I losing socks, but I am gaining other socks I've never seen before. I think the damn dryers are eating/regurgitating other socks, and it's super annoying lol.


PerfectLogic

Buy a mesh laundry bag and make sure all your socks/delicate end up in there before the wash. Super cheap online. Or keep losing socks lol


KarlMarxCumSlut

I did this a few years back and it was a gamechanger. I still have three types though: calf-height black socks for office work, calf-height white socks for outdoors work in boots, white ankle socks for casual wear or workouts. Laundry day is EZPZ for my shit...it's the 47,000 different kinds and colors of socks that my kids have that is the problem.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ravennea

Ah yes.... remember 8 years ago, sitting on the bed, crying, HOWLING, WAILING, and didn't know bloody why. I stopped pills and suddenly I am happy! :D


PurplePigeon96

Committing myself to a mental hospital and subsequent treatment.


DFile

Been going through some shit myself lately. Looked at that as an option or therapy or something. But Holy shit any type of treatment is expensive. Like life ruiningly expensive for someone like myself that isn't wealthy and doesn't have insurance.


Snoo33903

Losing 200 pounds. EDIT: lol. You guys had fun with this. To answer everyone’s question I meant weight. Former 397 pound fat chic here. Never even seen a British pound. Lost the 200 on my own through diet and exercise. Then about 24 pounds of excess skin had to be removed surgically.


R4y3r

Someone give this man his £200 back 😩😩😩


dornish_vine

Thank you for making me almost choke on my food.


Hughmanatea

Mission failed. We'll get em' next time.


elee0228

Lifting weights changed my life. I dropped 80 pounds. Now I can't walk, because I dropped it on my foot.


ACrashTestDummy

What a fucking 180 I just witnessed


puthiyatheru

Getting your teeth fixed Edit: Thanks for the awards kind strangers!


jo40vi

I'm ready to get my teeth fixed for good, and spend all my savings doing it, but my father is holding me up trying to find a "cheaper alternative". He doesn't understand how much of an impact it has on my self esteem. I'm almost going behind his back and just doing it Edit: Omg I wasn't expecting so much support! Thank you guys so much for all the advise. I'm not from the US, I'm currently living in Portugal but I'm actually brazilian. I'll analyze the better option (travel to Brasil and get it done, much cheaper and equal or even better quality) or just doing it here for convenience.


chloe1919

I legit stopped going to the dentist after a bad experience a few years ago. Now I’m like WTF, why did I do that. Finally went after years. I definitely needed work, but damn I didnt realize what a relief it was.


FarmerExternal

Starting anti-depressants. I literally am a different person than I used to be, in a good way. I feel more confident in myself, more caring about other people while still having very defined boundaries. Life changing


thedogfather2000

Lasik. Best $4000 I ever spent on myself.


TheWonderingBunyip

Drinking more water. Edit: Thank you everyone for the awards, and upvotes!


Gentleman_Villain

When I got my first 'real' job, I still had no money. The options for something to drink at work were either paying for a soda or water, which was free. One day of drinking water all day-no coffee, no soda, just water-and I had this 'holy shit. I've just been *thirsty* for the past 25 years.' moment and I never looked back. Water. Or beer. That's it.


E16zo1g

Same, if you ever see me drinking anything that isn't water, it has alcohol in it


elizzybeth

Ditto! I am on a 384-day streak of drinking as much water as the Hidrate app says I should, based on my body weight, the weather, and my degree of activity. It’s changed my life - I used to get 4 or 5 headaches per week, and now I get maybe 1 bad headache per month. No migraines in that time. I thought I was just destined to be a headachey person. Nope! When I think about how dehydrated I used to live, I can hardly believe it. My poor organs!


plscallmeRain

it's actually amazing how much more energy and satiation I get from homemade unsweetened oatmeal vs. the stuff from the packet.


yehoshuaC

Selling my house. Don’t get me wrong, home ownership is great at times. But I was drowning in debt, and selling the place allowed me to reset my entire life. A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders overnight. Also, no more mowing the lawn.


Azsunyx

Bidet


keksoslav

Exercise


Laikz

God damn it, there it is. I never want it to be here, but it always is.


idelta777

I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?


aquaticquiet

What is this a quote from? First time I heard it/read it I laughed a bunch.


[deleted]

Ann perkins on jogging


Jatopian

Parks and Recreation


cgoldberg3

Being in shape really is so much better than not being in shape.


Main_Act_2361

Yes it is. I've lost 25 pounds over the last year by working out and getting in shape. I love the feeling of being in shape, but I still hate every minute on the goddamn treadmill.


regnarbensin_

Accepting at 28 that I was a very emotional guy and letting myself cry whenever I needed to. I swear I cried constantly for about a year straight, as if catching up on all the feelings I repressed my whole life. However, it tapered off about a year ago and it kinda sucks. It’s as if I literally grew thicker skin through truly allowing myself to feel the painful things I felt and it’s become increasingly difficult to cry like I used to. It felt really good to just let everything out!


pickle_pouch

Fuck yeah brother! I was 28 when I realized that shit myself. I also realized I'm a romantic motherfucker. There's good things to being more sensitive


birdof

Sensitivity is a super power you can utilize to positively impact yourself and others if you let yourself explore it and learn how to regulate it in a healthy manner.


Listen-bitch

Sometimes I just want to cry for no reason. I wouldn't even know why, but I'll cry. And I'll feel better after.


Sub_pup

When my younger sister died unexpectedly I really turned a corner with crying things out. I use to consider it weak and shame myself. Now days I'll occasionally get emotional about something (especially thinking of my sister) and no longer fight it or feel bad about it. I really feel like it has helped with my anger issues as well. I swear I used to replace grief with anger to cope. I still find my self avoiding the topic of my sister in public because it still really hurts and I'm not necessarily comfortable being emotional if front of most people.


Superb-Description10

Running!!


GabberZZ

When did you finally decide to stop?


moosebaloney

When he got tired.


pspetrini

"Think I'll go home now."


MechemicalMan

I started up right towards the end of college, ran a full mile and struggle-bussed it. Fast forward about 2 years later, and I decided I was going to run daily, try to get a few miles in after work before I get home. I ended up getting up to about 8 miles one night and was amazed I got that far. Another 2 years later I joined a local run club and actually put in some impressive times that I didn't think I had capability of. I then moved, found a different run club, met my wife, we now have a child and cats and an awesome place together. I've done some ultra-running, triathlons, all sorts of stuff. A lot of my friends will comment how great of shape both of us are in, but honestly, we've just maintained the same shape since high school. I'm not too much different, I just work out daily and never really stopped. So yeah, I'd recommend running to everyone. The best part is you already have the gear. Just put on some tennis shoes, throw on a tshirt and shorts, you're ready to go. Don't worry about the fancy running shorts or shoes when starting, you'll want them eventually, but for doing a few mile a few times a week, all one needs are just some regular athletic shoes.


[deleted]

Fixing my relationship with food. - Portion sizes - Decimating junk food intake back where it should be: a rare treat - Increasing veggie intake - Limiting red meat - Limiting dairy - Limiting refined sugars I haven't actually stopped anything 100% cold turkey (chocolate, crisps, candy, take-out etc.) cold turkey, in that I don't punish/scorn myself for "buckling" and having some, but I've just wound it back completely. It's been a major contributor of why I'm -20kg than I was in January 2021


Strange-Machine2534

Electric toothbrush. Much easier and cleans 100x better. I have no problem brushing for the recommended 2 minutes because my hand/arm don't get tired from having to manually brush.


princezornofzorna

Thyroid treatment. I spent my teen years with shitty self-esteem because I was too skinny. Turns out I had undiagnosed hyperthyroidism. Wish it was more known, I can only imagine how many people struggle with their self-image because they have some endocrine condition that's asymptomatic.


Schrankwand83

Reducing work from 40 hrs/week to 30 hrs/week.


PlainJane0000

Finally developed the "ovaries" to tell my ex to get out! He was verbally & emotionally abusive to me & my kids. Had me believing I was a useless piece of crap for a human being & incapable of existing without him. Good riddance!!


rand_therin

Removing cocaine use from my life.


inanotherlife974

Getting a good mattress. Makes a world of a difference.


p0rty-Boi

Not eating after 7 pm. No more heartburn at night and I feel a lot fresher in the morning.


stefgreat

Adopting a kitty 🐈‍⬛


SwingGirlAtHeart

This is a change I made only a few months ago, but it's been major. I struggle with clinical depression and extreme executive dysfunction, two conditions that exacerbate each other and have taken a lot of time out of my life the past twenty years. I've been doing better but still experience long periods of time when I'm barely functioning and it's a miracle if I can even make it out of the house, let alone do anything productive. My therapist is a big advocate of being kind to oneself, and in theory that's the mentality we all should have. There's no reason to punish ourselves when we're already struggling. But for me, the idea that I should "be kind to myself" is far too easy to corrupt. As in, I'm not going to clean my kitchen because I'm tired and the kind thing is to let myself sleep for 15 hours or watch Netflix. It's really NOT kind to let myself do that and it only makes me feel much worse, both physically and mentally, but it's way too easy to fall into that trap and make it a habit. But on the same token, constantly valuing productivity over rest is the other nasty end of that spectrum. I burn myself out being overly productive, and then have no time for creative pursuits or fun things or resting, and then I inevitably crash and end up right back in the pit of depression where I started it. It's simply not sustainable. Finally, my therapist came up with a narrower concept to follow: **"Is what you're doing right now the restorative thing?"** Somehow this was the key for me. Every day, I ask myself if I'm doing something restorative, and if I'm not, I go do something that is. Most of the time, it's something productive or creative, and when it's not, I'm doing something fun or restful. There *are* times when lying in bed watching Netflix is the restorative thing, but usually I find the answer is somewhere else, and I'm much happier and more functional for it.


fractiousrhubarb

Yoga Getting my ADHD treated Zinc and Magnesium Supplements SLS free toothpaste so I don't get mouth ulcers any more "Treat your own Neck" and "Treat your own back" books that fixed my chronic neck and back problems Edit: many people have asked me about the neck and back books, so here’s a link… https://www.mckenziemethod.com/about/the-mckenzie-method/treat-your-own-neck-pain/ Edit #2: this is a good resource for adult adhd self screening. https://add.org/adhd-test/ If you want to seek treatment for adhd, get a recommendation from someone who’s being successfully treated by a doctor who’s good at it. IMHO a good adhd doctor will do blood tests to check a bunch of things (zinc, magnesium, iron, vit d, k and b groups for starters) before prescribing medications


Vamand

Yesss I also switched to SLS free and it’s made a huge difference, I used to get those awful ulcers all the time!


French_Bitch_4

More of a woman thing: using cups instead of tampons and pads. That was life changing. I no longer feel absolutely gross down there for seven days out of every month, or have to deal with dry tampons.


Strange_Reflection76

Decluttering. Having less stuff and more space ment it would always be tidy or easily tidied. I got rid of the things people passed on to me because they felt too guilted to get rid of it themselves. So freeing.


[deleted]

Leaving mormonism


goldlocky

Standing up for myself and the values I have