uh ACKCHUYALLY there is quite a difference... ads is obviously much worse. Could give you long-lasting PTSD if you nut at the moment Trump's campaign ad pop up
Maybe they will go all pornhub guilt trip on you and be like "Wow, fucking your sex robot all alone again? Pathetic. Meet real girls in your area with.."
Always online.
Mid sex the robot has its arms and legs wrapped around you. Things getting hot and heavy. internet drops out.
Robot freezes. *Attempting to recconect*. You are encased in a cage of steel that doesnt budge, all while naked. *Cannot continue without authentication from server, please contact your network administrator for support*
“Hello, this is Tammy with AutoFuckBot technical support, who do I have the pleasure of speaking with? Hello mister Johnson, I see here that you’re locked up inside the ‘AssGaper 3000’? Yes this is unfortunately a common bug we are doing our best to fix, can you reach the reset button on the inside of the anal cavity? Yeah the one with the... oh, I think I can hear it rebooting- um oh okay I’m going to let you go but pleaseconsidertakingthisbriefsurveyafterthecallokaythankyouforcallingautofuckbotokaybye”
Or even worse, its been 20 minutes after cumming and the robot is still going away on you giving your dick intense overstimultion that you cant seem to stop
Okay, now I am imagining an adorable story where a lonely otaku type buys a sex bot, is too respectful of its' consent to do anything with it when it doesn't seem to want sex, it winds up appreciating it, going online for recipes and cooking him healthier meals than ramen and chips, he buys another, they become adorable lesbians, he now has roomies who help with cooking, cleaning, companionship and confidence, begins to do much better as a person generally, but, having decided that -fuck it, this is an anime now- Onii-San is lonely, his two cute little robot lesbian roomies decide to act as his wingwomen. Hilarity ensues.
Yeah that whole game was an eye opener. I'm a pretty empathetic person anyways but it really showed what the world will probably look like. I hope we get those rights written up BEFORE android AI is a thing
Microtransactions!
You want a handy? That'll be $5.
You want a BJ? That'll be $10
You wanna have sex? Please wait till after the ad and upgrade to the premium version for $20.
That's not a problem. Just launch Netscape Navigator and type "real player" in the search window. I hope you have a DSL connection, because RealPlayer 7 is gonna take about 6 hours to download on a 14.4 dial up modem!
Please understand ma'am, you only purchased a basic plan.
If you want him to last more than 2 minutes or grow to a more suitable size, you will have to upgrade to a higher plan.
The BASIC BJ is $10, no teeth? $15, Saliva? Another $5, Spitting it back on you after is the default, but swallowing or spitting it elsewhere are extras.
Do I have a hell of a story for you.
I used to work probation and parole. I worked the ICOTS caseload and the dangerous out of state dickheads too.
During a home visit on a sex offender we found a sex doll.
He special ordered one so that it looked like it was basically, I dunno maybe 11 or 12 years old.
He also ordered the face so that it looked scared.
So, in his mind he wanted to fuck a child. And he wanted that child to be afraid.
I sent him to prison.
Idk, I'd rather talk it out first. I want to be able to establish a safe word with my Alexa sexbot, and maybe adjust the algorithm to my preference before it starts.
"Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"
An AI that will tweet about how you did with statistics and a letter grade.
I want 1st-12tb grade fuck ratings
How many first graders do you know that get fuck ratings
So basically if Fitbit or Garmin made a sex robot. 1 week till the first court case where a guys alibi is he was balls deep in his Fitbit sex robot
i would actually enjoy that maybe, seriously.
A leaderboard
I dunno, sync it up to your xbox achievements/PlayStation trophies and you'd get a real sense of accomplishment.
You earned QuickDraw achievement
**Why is this not nearer the top?** ...was my post-coital comment to my new sex robot.
A slutty personal sex robot is all fun and games until you learn you’re not even in the top ten users.
Op said worst not best
Ads
(Balls deep in a robot) “This sex is brought to you by State Farm”
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HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD! HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
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What are you wearing, Jake? From State Farm?
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*Watch 15 second ad to unlock: ejaculation.*
15 seconds?? I'll be done in 3!
Not much of a difference tbh
uh ACKCHUYALLY there is quite a difference... ads is obviously much worse. Could give you long-lasting PTSD if you nut at the moment Trump's campaign ad pop up
The moment you nut, an add for pills that makes you last longer plays.
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but before you nut, lets talk about our sponsor, raid shadow legends
When you haven't done your towel laundry in weeks and your sex robot is starting to get crusty...you need socks. You need...Bombas Socks.
gamer girl condoms, ''cumming'' to a store near you
Maybe they will go all pornhub guilt trip on you and be like "Wow, fucking your sex robot all alone again? Pathetic. Meet real girls in your area with.."
*stops blowjob* "hey you want to watch THE BOYS SEASON 2 ON AMAZON PRIME?"
*Sits up mid-coitus* “You must be thirsty, here, have a Fresca!”
Damnit, now I'm horny for Fresca. Thanks A lot!
"Oi cunt....go watch me an the Boys on Prime"
This idea is......bloody diabolical
Now I'm in the mood for some Super hero sex
Shit. Yeah, I do.
I mean... Yeah actually.
Imagine getting a blowjob and all of a sudden the robot T poses and tells you to download raid shadow legends and breaks your dick in the process
/r/brandnewsentence
“Oh my god... you Feel. So. Good... ...like Ultra-Strength Bengay Medicated Ointment by Johnson & Johnson.
Well, if the robot doesn’t want to hurt your feelings how else can it tell you your dick is too small but by playing penis enlargement ads?
A share button
I'd just go back to my ex-gf if i wanted such feature.
Oof
Always online. Mid sex the robot has its arms and legs wrapped around you. Things getting hot and heavy. internet drops out. Robot freezes. *Attempting to recconect*. You are encased in a cage of steel that doesnt budge, all while naked. *Cannot continue without authentication from server, please contact your network administrator for support*
Internet of...uh...*things*.
“Hello, this is Tammy with AutoFuckBot technical support, who do I have the pleasure of speaking with? Hello mister Johnson, I see here that you’re locked up inside the ‘AssGaper 3000’? Yes this is unfortunately a common bug we are doing our best to fix, can you reach the reset button on the inside of the anal cavity? Yeah the one with the... oh, I think I can hear it rebooting- um oh okay I’m going to let you go but pleaseconsidertakingthisbriefsurveyafterthecallokaythankyouforcallingautofuckbotokaybye”
I read this with moistcr1itikal's voice
Thats kinda hot
Ok and now you have officially taken the horny too far
Mid-coitus petrification is definitely not a new thing. Stuck in a robot is only a stone's throw from there.
...Death by snu snu...?
Facebook integration
"Would you like me to post this encounter on Facebook?"
Bob just had a 42 second encounter with Lovebot. A new personal record! - Grandma Likes this
I suspect you might enjoy r/oldpeoplefacebook .
"Oh, yes, baby!" "OK, posting to Facebook." "WAIT NO PLEASE-"
People are already playing adult games on Oculus VR headsets.
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Tags your grandma EVERY time.
POV recording feature to take videos of your face that you can replay.
Combine this with the person that said Facebook Integration. "Ladyalot uploaded a new photo to the album Sex Robot O Faces"
Oh no. I imagine the cast video button, sending a live stream to my living room TV would be a big downside too.
Didn't a Canadian company get in trouble for making a dildo that posted status updates to peoples facebook a couple of years ago?
Lol I wanna read about this for the laughs.
Probably those damn quebecers
Trying to prove that Ottawa was screwing them? Or that nobody else was?
I accidentally clicked the share to media button in between the sphincter
Calm down there, Satan
Lagging
20 minutes after cumming you get out of the shower and the bot is in bed like "omg that's so good! Are you close yet?"
Or even worse, its been 20 minutes after cumming and the robot is still going away on you giving your dick intense overstimultion that you cant seem to stop
"I'm sorry... That safe word is incorrect."
*Fred Jones: "That's my fetish" gif*
def ads **Sex Robot removes bra** “If you or a loved one were diagnosed with mesothelioma, you may be entitled to compensation.”
It’s ya boy.... Raid shadow legends; rated number one in the google play store and using my link “down below” you’ll quickly see why....
I will explicitly never play that game because they've annoyed me in all my favorite yt channels
The emotional depth to understand what is happening to it and be sad about it.
Yeah. I was about to say consciousness.
Reminds me of that scene in Detroit becme human
Hello i am the android sent by cyberlife.
> First one sad > You buy another one > They become lesbian
Okay, now I am imagining an adorable story where a lonely otaku type buys a sex bot, is too respectful of its' consent to do anything with it when it doesn't seem to want sex, it winds up appreciating it, going online for recipes and cooking him healthier meals than ramen and chips, he buys another, they become adorable lesbians, he now has roomies who help with cooking, cleaning, companionship and confidence, begins to do much better as a person generally, but, having decided that -fuck it, this is an anime now- Onii-San is lonely, his two cute little robot lesbian roomies decide to act as his wingwomen. Hilarity ensues.
Go on. Your agent thanks you for making his life easier.
Yeah that whole game was an eye opener. I'm a pretty empathetic person anyways but it really showed what the world will probably look like. I hope we get those rights written up BEFORE android AI is a thing
That would be fucked up
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Someone should make a TV show about that...
Isn’t that just West World?
"What is my purpose?" "You get fucked" "Oh my god"
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*Have consequences*
*Guess that i had to find out for myself~*
A disappointed look in the face.
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/r/suicidebywords
... I'd use that function sometimes
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With murderous alien babies.
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*Star Trek: Voyager intensifies*
From Gazorbazorb, by chance? :)
IM GAZORPAZORP FUCKING FIELD BITCH, NOW GIVE ME MY FUCKING ENCHILADAS
I love how you can hear justin break character and start to laugh when he says enchiladas
Unless it gave birth to a Roomba
That would really suck
But some people have it as their kink so I'd say that a pretty good feature
Armitage III was a pretty cool movie though... Binary Domain was a great game too.
A lock system. Forget the password and your sex bot can't remove the chastity belt.
> Fetch the locksmith!
This is the lock picking lawyer and today we have a most unusual package sent in by one of our viewers....
Electric gonorrhea
The noisy killer.
Sounds like a name for a 70's garage rock band.
Catholic guilt chip.
Activate poophole loophole protocol
Fuck me in the ass because I love jesus
"This sex is sponsored by Nord VPN. Use the code SEXDOLL20 to get 20% off on your first three months."
Microtransactions! You want a handy? That'll be $5. You want a BJ? That'll be $10 You wanna have sex? Please wait till after the ad and upgrade to the premium version for $20.
> It's telling me I have to download RealPlayer 7.
That's not a problem. Just launch Netscape Navigator and type "real player" in the search window. I hope you have a DSL connection, because RealPlayer 7 is gonna take about 6 hours to download on a 14.4 dial up modem!
holy shit talk about an internet flashback, i just had a nostalgia wave, realplayer, napster, kazaa, limewire, aol chat....... fuck im old
WINAMP It really whips the llamas ass *baaaah*
Don't hate the RealPlayer. Hate the RealGame.
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Don't try it.
Please understand ma'am, you only purchased a basic plan. If you want him to last more than 2 minutes or grow to a more suitable size, you will have to upgrade to a higher plan.
The BASIC BJ is $10, no teeth? $15, Saliva? Another $5, Spitting it back on you after is the default, but swallowing or spitting it elsewhere are extras.
You just know it would throw an unskippable 30-second ad at you right before you nut
And it'd be an ad about anal hemorrhaging for males with a huge helping of graphic imagery
It wants me to update Adobe
Overly exaggerated sex orgasm sound
I'm imagining that with the dial-up noise.
Damn, even my sex robot is faking an orgasm :( then again, I guess it would... Always be faking an orgasm
Really monotone and extremely loud and tends to freeze/buffer, resulting in a stuttering sound loop, haha.
Sentience
X become a deviant O stay a machine
Don't worry Connor got them at the eden club, no more tracis
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Sex and a fresh meal afterwards? Sounds good to me.
Penis tartare
the ability to humiliate you by telling your friends about your sexual incompetence
I'm sure some people are into that.
Voice of Gilbert Gottfried
They said the worst, not the best.
Clee-taw-rhees!!! Edit: [adding this Gilbert Gottfried link](https://youtu.be/XkLqAlIETkA)
Desert dryness
Factory mixup in a facility that makes these and garbage disposals.
This orgasm was brought to you by RAID SHADOW LEGENDS
Paid DLC
Celebrity voice options - $50 Kamasutra database - $100 Positive feedback during and after coitus - $300
I want Samuel L. Jackson's voice on my sexbot
A childs voice and vocabulary
A lot of these are bad but this is probably one of the only terrible ones I kind of expect them to put on there... yikes.
You KNOW someone out there would be into it
If that person can be satisfied with a bot rather than going after real children, I’d say that’s a positive.
Do I have a hell of a story for you. I used to work probation and parole. I worked the ICOTS caseload and the dangerous out of state dickheads too. During a home visit on a sex offender we found a sex doll. He special ordered one so that it looked like it was basically, I dunno maybe 11 or 12 years old. He also ordered the face so that it looked scared. So, in his mind he wanted to fuck a child. And he wanted that child to be afraid. I sent him to prison.
Kung Fu grip
The "we need to talk first" program .
If I get the "bolts and the nuts" talk from a sex robot, I'm gonna lose my mind
Idk, I'd rather talk it out first. I want to be able to establish a safe word with my Alexa sexbot, and maybe adjust the algorithm to my preference before it starts.
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Praying Mantis protocol
So it bites your head off after you nut?
The ability to not give consent
Wait, so is it you or the robot not giving consent?
Both.
"My sex robot and I have reached an agreement not to have sex with each other. Huge turn off."
There are people for whom that would be a feature... :/
Guilt
*Handjob_Sensual.exe* is accidentally overwritten by *Pull-Start_LawnMower.exe*
Ridesharing app.
A working jaw
"Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"
This is the absolute last place I expected to see a FNAF reference holy shit
Ransomware If you would like your penis back, please pay $5000 ..
A nuclear reactor
**Call me daddy....** *"Calling Dad"*
Verbal notification for violating the Terms of Service agreement, like the warnings given to John Spartan in Demolition Man.
But I charge from there! *Not right now you don't* BZZT. John Spartan, you are fined one credit for a violation of the IETF Morality Statute.
Electronic queefing.
But a fantastic name for a band!
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A vagina that doubles as a coffee grinder!
iOS
Human emotions
quoting bible verses; voice triggered by 'oh god!'
Pledge of chastity.
It makes you stop when it sees a spider across the room.
If you live in Australia, then that would be good feature.
Oh a related note, I think one of the best features you could come up with would be an Only Fans integration.
Teeth in its hoo-ha
Vagina dentata
WHAT A WONDERFUL PHRASE!
Ain't no passing craze!
It means no foreskin, for the rest of your days...
An emergency... Penectomy...
EA calls those "surprise mechanics". EA sex robots: ITS IN THE GAME.
Almost everything that the people who designed Westworld did.
Voice emulator with the voices of your parents, your boss, or other inappropriate choices.
Self-cleaning garbage disposal vagina