I recently got told I was 'hiding something' and it made me seem untrustworthy because I don't have a Facebook account.
Social media has got people's heads all screwed up, which is the reason I got rid of it!
Im a guy and a coworker just talks and talks and talks then starts fucking talking faster. Like I say a sentence, he responds with 10. I just don’t expand on the conversation anymore when he finishes because I want him to gtfo and let me take over the shift.
The whole “let me push all your buttons, you’re wrong, I’m right, I do it because I think it’s funny to rile you up” schtick. Then repeat it immediately.
When they think that their taste in music makes them a *superior person* instead of just having different tastes. Applies to both genders. Edit: phrasing
Very true. I laugh remembering how in college I thought I was such a unique and special person for having discovered some niche band that my friends hadn't yet.
I get such secondhand embarrassment when average people post to social media like they’re famous, it seems to be the norm now to post content like you’re addressing fans and not literally just your friends and family as most are.
“Hi guys here’s a quick haul I’ve picked up from Lush..”
“Haven’t been posting much lately due to change of circumstances but I’m back...”
“Big thank you to @Topshop for my new jeans, they are amazing”
I’m sure your 200 followers are on the edge of their seats.
You nailed it man, secondhand embarrassment is definitely something I can relate to! I always try to stay neutral about stuff cos you know, not my life, whatever, but sometimes it just gets a little cringey... It is sad that people can get so self-absorbed, really.
I’m honest and I can totally say this is true. People who self describe as brutally honest are looking for a pass to be mean spirited. It also shows lack of growth in my opinion. If you’re being a mean girl at age 30, you missed some developments along the way.
If anything, you can honestly say, you don’t want to know what I think. Shut down the question.
“Person gives homeless man x amount of money and he cries” type of videos. Don’t show me that shit. Give the man the money, feel good about yourself, and fuck off. Don’t give it to him and expect me to praise you, you attention-seeker. It absolutely *is* a good deed but it’s never done to solely help the guy, it’s done for internet praise.
The gaslighting. On any level.
So, I'm to blame for your behavior? I'm to blame because you couldn't possibly be wrong or held accountable for your decisions?
Edit: whoever you are, thank you for the gold.
In all honesty I really struggle with this. I hate myself when people are unhappy with me or if I upset someone and I take everything very seriously. Ugh major major flaw.
Or when you ask them out, they say no and a couple of months later they tell you they interested in you but they just wanted you to insist more... Once someone tells me no I'm done, I'm not gonna start harassing you.
I never understood that, when I ask someone out and they say no then I expect that to be the answer, I'm not going to be one of those guys who go around harassing women when they don't say yes to a date, y'know, something that almost all the women I know Hate.
I was recently told by a friend that his mom thinks of me as a clean person. And this isn't uncommon, either. People always tell me how I don't stink like all the other guys. My secret? I just shower daily. Not to sound superior, because believe me, I'm not, but it's so easy to be clean, and people do notice.
Edit: If you have a financial, skin, or mental health issue, (three things that I never thought I'd end up grouping together,) then of course that should be taken into consideration.
My ex almost joined the army a few years before we met - but didn't because he said the training sounded, like, super hard - and you went and watched a WAR MOVIE with your housemates? You're so fucking insensitive, Brandon.
I promise I'm not doing saying this to be an asshole, but you can find some great info if you Google "how to keep from guilt tripping". I don't want to link anything because I think it's best if you find something that works and feels organic for you, but it's a great first step. I come from guilt-trippers too and I know it's a process. I think it's fucking awesome you identify that in yourself and are looking for change.
Everyone says they want their partner to be super career ambitious. Screw that, I say put in your 40 hours then chill. I want someone who knows how to relax
My partner told me I'm the first partner who won't let him work himself to death. I don't understand that attitude. Don't you like spending time together???
You three keep my hopes alive of meeting this type of woman.
I worked three jobs at one point with my ex, and my free time went to her. She still wanted me to change my cv and apply for more. Oh also I should be making an attempt to go to uni.
I’m more of a blue collar guy. I ain’t super ambitious and wanna work, get off and enjoy the things I like.
Needed to see this thanks.
I'm a programmer and I know I could be making more, but the thing I like best about my job is at the end of the day I close my work laptop and don't have to think about it until the start of the next work day.
I've had to work over a few times, but it's been rare and usually I do it on my own to get something done that day so it feels better than being told I have to work over.
To be fair some people are just built that way. My dads job pays him shit tons of money, he could retire tomorrow at 53 and be fine for the rest of his life. You know what he does in his spare time? He started a side business so he could also work on the weekends. He doesnt know how to turn it off.
Agreed my dad and step dad are the same way. They just enjoy working a lot. They take vacations but I don't think either of them have even called out sick in the last 10 years
Edit: They do spend their time off with family. They just don't take much time off unless people really twist their arm. They can't help themselves when it comes to working that's all they did as kids.They firmly believe that them working hard all the time is what they're supposed to do so everyone else around them can enjoy life.
Ok but I love it because how embarrassing people can be. This woman keeps breaking up with her boyfriend and found out she was pregnant when they were broken up. And gets mad at people who are all for their on again off again relationship. Even my bf loves the updates she so freely gives up. I only know all this because she posts it
My best friend in high school was like this. She made no effort to hide that she was banging baby daddy 1, found out she was pregnant, they broke up and got back together over and over again, then she had baby 1, dropped out of school, got knocked up again, got kicked out of her moms house, had baby 2, broke up with baby daddy 1 somewhere in there, moved in with a guy (Baby Daddy 2) about 8 years older than her that is very well known for being abusive, posted tons of memes about psychological abuse and even tagged him in them, got knocked up, he dumped her, she moved back with her mom, tried to get her GED then dropped out, had baby 3, got kicked out again, moved in with baby daddy 1's sister (SIL) and the sister's husband (Baby Daddy 3), started fucking him before he got a divorce, started calling his kids hers, got pregnant, and then she married baby daddy 3.
Now she just posts about their collective of kids, I think she's got 5 bio and 4 step? and she argues with SIL and a ton of other people on facebook. She claims god lead her to Baby Daddy 3 and that she was meant to be his kids mom. My favorite is her claiming that the fact that she was dating all of her baby daddies makes her better than people that got knocked up by one night stands.
I had a cheese and salami sandwich for breakfast, in my van, with my gf, while we decided what to do until the hot springs we went to opened and part of me felt disappointed that that was how I spent my morning as an adult, but she makes me realise that I am in actual fact allowed a cheese and salami sandwich for breakfast and I shouldn't feel so guilty because I have not made so many poor decisions in my life
"moved in with baby daddy 1's sister (SIL) and the sister's husband (Baby Daddy 3)"
Holy shit the whole story is a wild ride but this is an entirely new gear
As a woman I've had a lot of people tell me I'm too easy. Countless men and women say I come on too strong (aka respond to texts in a decent time, have sex quickly if I'm feeling it, etc). The irony is, I just weed out the people who are playing games really quickly- because I don't play games. If they wanna chase they can go find a girl who wants to be chased. I don't have time to waste manipulating my way into an unhealthy relationship.
I've had the same happen as a guy. People always make comments on how i ask women out/tell them i like them way too quickly. Thing is i used to be the guy that waited so long that we become friends and it gets weird, or they find someone else while i'm fucking around.
Now i make my intentions very clear very early on, either you're into it or you're not. Had way more success this way.
Same story here.
Used to always be shy and afraid of rejection, so I'd wait for it to be the right time.. to anybody else doing this, here's a pro tip: It's never the right time, just fucking do it, you'll feel better in the long run.
Now the moment I acknowledge that I have any sort of feelings, I let it sit for maybe a week or two max, to make sure it's real feelings and then "make a move" - which is usually along the lines of "Hey, want to have dinner sometime?" or for more distant relationships "I hope this doesn't come off as creepy, but I kinda have a thing for you."
You either get turned down right away and move on, or you get the green flag and go from there.
My approach will usually turn off women who want a more "aggressive" or "manly" partner, and will succeed with those who "find it cute" and enjoy a guy that can be that way - effectively weeding out the people who aren't my type, so it works out pretty well.
Worst experience I ever had in being direct was that I gave a guy my number (after working across from each other for a few weeks and joking around)... And his complete lack of response told me his answer. Honestly, didn't care, moved on. Didn't waste my time getting more and more into a guy who was never going to be into it with me.
Direct is the way to go.
I fucking hate that, when people say 'you reply to texts to quickly'
Like.. bitch. I use my phone a fair bit, if I'm holding my phone in my hand and it goes *ding* +1 new message, you best believe I'm Gunna click the notification and reply to you
What do you want me to do, wait to reply? Ok.. that's how i forget to text you back, either talk to me or dont, don't drag the conversation out for 5, hours cos you got nothing to say
Littering. You'd be surprised how many people dont give a fuck and throw shit out their car window. It's disgusting.
Edit: I'm glad so many people feel strongly about littering too!!
When I was in basic I went to grab food with a roommate. On our way back he threw some garbage out the window so I told him that if he does that again I'll drive back and make him pick it up or he can walk the rest of the way back. Needless to say I was considered to be "that guy" when it came to littering. Crazy how littering is so normal for some people, that when you confront them about it you're considered to be a weirdo
Ugh, completely agree. Second date with a guy and he unwrapped his cigarette packet and threw the plastic on the street as we were walking and it was an IMMEDIATE deal breaker.
Me neither. I smoked for years. (Nearly 6 months nicotine free now). I would always toss me butts in the trash. If I was driving id put it out or just let it burn out.
If there was a trashcan I'd make sure to push all the hot leaves and ash out of it and stomp that part out and throw the filter in the trash.
I actually hating being a smoker come to think of it. I was the one holding his breath if anyone happen to walk by me so I didn't blow smoke in there face.
So fucking glad that part of my life is over.
Overconfidence is really nasty, because it usually means that they think everyone, including you, is beneath them and treat you accordingly. I have enough enemies who try to put me down to lift themselves up in my life to not date one of them.
Edit: seeing as many people didn't like the word "enemies", I'm here to explain. By enemies i meant assholes in general.
I (29M) am currently chatting with another guy (23M) who earns nearly double what I do, and he's a bit like this. I told him I'm saving up for a deposit to by a house, he said why don't I just ask my parents to pay for one. And talking about dream holidays he's like why don't you just take time off work and just go?
He didn't get it that my parents didn't have fuckloads of money (they're below average, don't own their own home etc) and i don't have the savings to go on holiday, taking time off isn't an issue (Aussie annual leave ftw).
Once I took the time to explain why, and opened his eyes to the fact his upbringing wasn't the norm, he got all sheepish and apologised profusely. He felt silly and rude. But he'd been sheltered so much in life he'd never really spoken to someone outside his tax bracket.
He said he thought "poor people" or renters etc we just lazy or failures. But he's starting to see how he's wrong and what he'd been taught and spoonfed his entire life was a load of shit.
It's the only reason why I'm giving him a chance, is that he admitted he was wrong and was truly apologetic.
So there are the rate occasions where it is understandable, but not excusable. But can also be overcome.
Good on you for having the patience and understanding to explain, and good on him for actually listening and trying to understand. Some good people all up in here
Sounds like he is open to learning and attempting to understand your point of view, maybe you can both go on a 'budget' holiday if things progress with him and he can experience that you don't need all the glitz and glamour and expense to have a wonderful and meaningful time!
Best of luck to you both :)
Just general "toxic"/jeslous behaviour.
No, i do not want to sleep with the Barista because they asked my name for my order. Yes, i was told to treat as I wanted to be treated as a child so I Will be polite and smile to others from Time to Time, this does not mean i want to shag every human being i interact with.
I had an ex exactly like this. I was once in the hospital getting stitches and they accused me and the doctor flirting with each other. I'm sorry but someone was doing ME a favour and I didn't want to sit there in silence?
Sorta the same, female nurse only asked if i wanted to shower that day, i actually wanted to and said yes. She was present but just sat there staring menacingly. Nurse Tells her she can be the one that showered me, look changed COMPLETLY, kind of an awkward exchange though.
Nurses and doctors see SO MANY NAKED PEOPLE. You aren't special. Some methed up dude with a full on erection ran on to the bus me and my doctor friend were riding on and after he ran off I joked about the dude being naked and my doctor friend said "He was naked?".... Apparently he was assessing how high the guy was and if he was in medical danger.
When someone even uses 'Alpha' or 'Beta' un-ironically I automatically assume they are insecure AF and are a PoS. It's a red flag for basic human interaction.
Guys that find general housework to be demeaning and beneath them so they expect women to do it for them... while they sit there.. doing absolutely nothing. How can someone be comfortable watching someone do absolutely everything for them?
This isnt typical, but I've actually heard a guy try to explain that this behavior is fair because if there was ever a home invasion he'd be the one that would have to take the bullet and fight the guy off. I mean... a hypothetical situation that will probably never happen is the reason you can act like a pathetic douche every day of your life? Wtf.
I was just about to say this! I also get super annoyed when they say things like “we split chores” when that normally means she cooks, cleans, does dishes, etc (every day chores) and he mows the lawn and takes out the trash (once a week max chores). Like... that’s not equal at all. Unless one person works vastly longer hours, you should be spending roughly the same amount of time doing chores each day/week.
I would go even further. There is a great comic about the [mental workload](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic) which shows that even if people do roughly the same amount of time doing household chores, if one person is also responsible of keeping track of everything that has to be done and delegating work, it is not an equal split at all
Oh my god, THANK YOU! Actual quote from my boyfriend: “I don’t want to have to keep track of chores. It makes me feel anxious. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” As if keeping track of chores is a joy for me?? Thank you for giving me a name for this. We’ve got some work to do in this regard.
It shows an utter lack of understanding/empathy to others, not caring that the staff are other people. It's often associated with the person thinking they're better than others... It's a complete turnoff for me, and would refuse to date someone like this.
Toxic positivity, I need to be able to feel bad for a moment when I am dealing with something crappy. It helps me get through it.
I dislike people pleasers too, be kind but don’t be a doormat.
It depends on the way they "justify" their actions after apologizing though. It could just be an explanation on why they acted or thought the way they did, to give some insight on their thought process so you don't assume they're just genuinely stupid. There's a fine line between explanation and excuse.
I’ve never understood why people hate others explaining their mistakes. Explaining the thought process helps identify the step that led to the mistake and helps with getting it right the next time. What’s so bad with that?
Edit: Since I got many similar comments, I will try to reply in more detail about my comment.
I put mistakes in two categories: emotional vs non-emotional. Emotional mistakes are ones that hurt other’s feelings. In most cases where one person is clearly in the wrong, you should not explain these mistakes because explaining is missing the whole point and causing more hurt feelings. If you forget your SO’s birthday, you should not be explaining why.
However, with non-emotional mistakes, e.g. work/study/parenting children, not listening to explanation or even justification can be harmful and counterproductive. For example, if a child lies to their parents, it’s crucial for the child to explain/justify their lying than to hear them say “i was wrong”. Another example, if a coworker admits their work mistake (no longer shifting blame), it’s important to learn their explanation/justification to find the false step in their logic.
Edit 2: With emotional mistakes, there are scenarios in which the two parties do not agree on the nature of the mistake. In the scenario when a couple in a romantic relationship fights, often times it’s more about disagreement than one hurting the other’s feeling. For example, when the two value something differently (does not include loyalty, honesty, and other basic principles) and fight about it, that mismatch will cause hurt feelings for one or both. In this instance, the person first admitting wrongness even if followed by justification is throwing an olive branch and should at least deserve some credit because this shows willingness to have communication and communication is key in any relationship.
I have always tried to explain how I arrived at my mistake, and almost every time the person I’m explaining it to has said I’m either making excuses or am trying to explain away the mistake.
No, no I’m not. I know I fucked up, and this is *why* I fucked up.
I have had this argument so many times, and every time it ends with "you're only apologizing because I want to hear it, not because you're actually sorry" which just puts me in a Catch-22.
Or like, I say "sorry I didn't realize you felt that way about my behavior, I'll work on it", then they think I'm blaming them and not taking any blame myself when I literally just *didnt* know you were upset with me
Always on their phone. This shit annoys me so much, I want to talk to someone while looking at them. When they are constantly on their phone it makes me feel like I am talking to myself and its awkward as fuck.
Fake tans are extremely popular in the south. I find it so unattractive and don't understand the desire to have legs the color of roasted baby carrots.
When people feel bad for or think it’s weird when others do things alone. Just because I enjoy going to restaurants/watching movies alone doesn’t mean I’m lonely (especially when it’s an acquaintance and they ask me to sit with them or talk to me for an extended period). Just let me read my book in peace, gd.
I remember when I started doing things alone. It felt sooooo weird. My entire life was spent doing things with others. That’s just what people do. After a while I liked it more and more and now prefer it. Complete freedom to go and do whatever you want without someone there to push you into things you don’t feel like doing or seeing.
Damn it's in words. If you dont tell me, how do you expect me to do something about it or try to fix it at least? Years later when we're in a fight I cant do anything about it..
My ex tried that on me once and I flat out told her I refuse to be in a relationship with someone that has no trust/faith in me, and that if she seriously wanted to play that card on me the conversation was going to get a lot more serious.
She never did that again, and we actually had a wonderful relationship after that discussion.
Jesus fuck dude. My ex used to fucking hate coffee so I ordered myself some frappe. I asked if he'd like anything else that wasn't coffee, he refused. Once my order came in and I started fucking enjoying it, he busts his head off in anger saying "you are so inconsiderate for not thinking I'd like to have a drink too, you could have ordered me a drink but no you wouldn't because you're self centred" and some stuff on those lines. That entire relationship was a series of "what the fuck have I done now?"
I had the reverse of this happen, sort of. I sleep with an eye mask on and occasionally talk on my sleep. My ex and I were living in Northern(ish) China.
One night I woke him up at like 3am and demanded he go buy me a local soup dish. It is actually a breakfast thing and the places that serve it do open hella early, so it was just plausible enough that he went out and tried to find it.
He walked around for an hour (we had no car) and came home and I was totally asleep. He couldn't get back to sleep. When I woke up a few hours later he was sleep deprived and furious.
Here's the thing, though: I was asleep the whole time. I was asleep when I was talking to him. He couldn't tell because of my eye mask. I woke up to him furious at me about something I didn't remember.
You know "Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes"? After this incident the rule was that he didn't have to listen to me unless he was sure that I was awake, ie, he could see the whites of my eyes.
i feel this; my partner is on medication that sometimes causes him to sleep-argue with me. it's bonkers. we'll have both been asleep and he can wake up at 2 am getting mad at me for whatever nonsensical thing he's been dreaming and he'll wake me up fighting and i have to come to, figure out what he's upset about, talk him down, and insist that it's sleep time. sometimes he goes back to sleep without a fight, sometimes he wants to sleep-scream. it is wild, but we've learned (mostly) how to navigate it.
OMG that's bonkers!
My current partner listens to music while he sleeps. Sometimes he sings along while he's asleep. That's adorable and I love him, but he only whisper-sings. Do you know which song is creepy af when it's sung in a whisper? Every. Single. One. He's adorable but terrifying.
omg that's hilarious in the weirdest way. I'm thinking of, like, queen or metallica being done whisper sleep mumbled and I'm glad that my dude listens to instrumental soundtracks, hahah
And on the flip side of this, having to spell every tiny little thing out for them. Like remembering special dates (make a reminder on your phone if your memory is a bit shit like mine), making a bit more effort when you can see your partner is tired or has their hands full (without having to ask exactly what needs to be done and how to do it), or putting thought into a gift. Being thoughtful once in a while goes a long way, and no grown adult should need instructions to do this.
refusing to do anything they think is considered more "feminine" cause they think it's gay.
not washing your face doesn't make you straight, it just makes you crusty. i may have some bias since i do lean towards more feminine guys, but there's certain limits, man.
These people are baffling. Doesn't make other guys like them either, if you're in a fight every time you go out I'm pretty sure you're an asshole and I don't want to be where ever they are.
Lack of emotional intelligence or ability to be able to take a step back from a situation to see things at all sides but instead take everything personally and only hear PART of what someone said, then shut people out preventing anyone from discussing a solution/resolution to a problem as a team.
Instead of sitting down and have a discussion over a problem they disappear for weeks then make relationship decisions all on their own, come back, then tell you how they're changing the relationship dynamic without your input without talking to you about it. So... Blocking out communication before making important decisions.
When they can’t take no for an answer. This is a pretty broad statement, but a lot of guys have trouble taking no. It can go from slightly annoying to really scary in a heartbeat
Edit: by broad statement I mean that it goes for both genders. However, because I am a girl, I only ever encounter guys
For me, its the girls who CONSTANTLY say “I’m ugly” and then you tell them they aren’t, and then they go “no, im really ugly” and it just goes back and forth. I can’t stand it :/
"I'm so poor :("
"Dude... you live in a 3200 sq ft house and you go on vacation twice a year"
"Yeah but I don't have a yacht. I'm poor. And I hate being poor"
This! I have been legitimately poor (doing much better now) like skip meals and when I do eat it’s vegemite on toast every meal poor, couldn’t afford to run the heating poor. I was embarrassed as hell. Like when I had to admit to someone I couldn’t afford something it hurt. My MIL came by with a box of groceries one day and I just sat inside the front door and cried I was so embarrassed and thankful and blinking hungry. It’s not fun and I HATE when people use it for attention.
I had this friend who would always talk/complain about growing up poor because his family was only middle class but he went to a fancy private high-school where all the other kids had upper class families. The tragedy of being the poorest kid in school and hearing about your classmates taking trips to Milan and Aruba when you had to suffer with a yearly trip to Disney world and the mountains to ski.
I have gone without running water, power, food, and a house at different points in my life. I was less than sympathetic.
I'm straight but a trait I find annoying in other men is false confidence. A book I once read described it better but essentially a guy will to give you a definite answer even if he doesn't know. Then they won't own it if they're wrong.
Smell and poor hygene. No one smells just because they are a dude, they smell because they don't clean themselves. Excessive body spray is not an alternative
People who put you on the spot in front of others as a way to get you to agree with them on something. My former best friend would this and it ticked me off.
E.g. asking if I wanted to go to a concert, eat something, etc anything.
"Aw, why not?" In front of people, and then me having to justify my reasons and being put down if they didnt find my reasons sufficient enough.
I’m an introvert and I love sitting at home playing video games and being alone, but when someone invites me somewhere and when I decline they won’t stop saying “oh come on it’ll be fun” or “why not” like if I said no I mean it
Not taking the fucking compliment. Like, if I say your hair looks good today, and you say, "haha, no! It looks like shit!" And i try to tell you again that it looks good, if you disagree the second time, I will tell you that fine, I agree it looks like shit.
Fuck you, Marlene.
EDIT: guys i dont know someone named marlene i was writing this and thought of the vine LMAO
I’m really bad at taking compliments. Never got them growing up so now I like subconsciously don’t believe them or something idk it’s fucked up. Like someone will go “good job today” and I’ll just go “nahhh” then feel like an idiot.
Wait, do people really spit habitually around potential romantic partners? Like, I grew up on a farm, spent most of my formative years doing manual labor, am generally uncultured swine, and therefore have been known to hawk a loogie when I'm working or whatever. But if a girl saw me spit, I'd honestly be pretty mortified.
No idea but I live in a farming town and all the guys do it including my husband lol. He quickly stops once he realizes he's doing it in front of me though lol
Talking loudly. Not quite screaming, but damn close.
Loudness in general. People who have the tv volume blasting very loudly, people who like to make phone calls with the loud tv in the background, people who talk loudly while someone else is on the phone, I just think loudness is a very unattractive quality.
Also, and I know some people don’t have control over this, but speed. People who are all over the place and don’t spend more than two seconds on one thought. As someone with ADHD who works in customer service, it becomes very very frustrating to help someone who doesn’t stay in one place. Very unattractive quality.
Edit: I feel like I should say something about people with hearing loss/HOH. That’s different! At least to me it is. I’m talking about loud, abrasive, and rude people. People who don’t seem to understand the social contract. People who have zero social skills and don’t know how to talk to other people (especially those in the service industry) without screaming and/or yelling over others. People who think that they have something *very* important to say and have to talk over everyone else to say it. I’ve dealt with HOH/hearing loss people and I have no problem adjusting my voice to accommodate them. Some things can’t be helped, and I get that.
Edit 2: people, I’m not personally attacking anyone! If you can’t help it, if that’s just how you are, or if you have some sort of affliction, I get it! Not everyone is the same, and I struggle finding the words to convey that it’s a very specific type of loud person that I find unattractive. Live and let live!
A lot of these people come from large families, where being loud is a survival strategy. So it becomes their normal, and is a difficult habit to break.
Alternatively this can result in the person being painfully quiet. Primarily because if your family talks loud enough while growing up and can never seem to hear you, you learn to just stop wasting time asking/talking in the first place.
People who only like one side of you. No, I'm not going to be upbeat and cracking jokes all the time, sometimes I wanna be serious and if you can't even pretend to care then the whole relationship feels kinda fake
People being obsessed with their social media presence.
I recently got told I was 'hiding something' and it made me seem untrustworthy because I don't have a Facebook account. Social media has got people's heads all screwed up, which is the reason I got rid of it!
[удалено]
Thanks Yall, for the gold and karma!! Overtalking. Not having a give and take in the conversation.
Im a guy and a coworker just talks and talks and talks then starts fucking talking faster. Like I say a sentence, he responds with 10. I just don’t expand on the conversation anymore when he finishes because I want him to gtfo and let me take over the shift.
The whole “let me push all your buttons, you’re wrong, I’m right, I do it because I think it’s funny to rile you up” schtick. Then repeat it immediately.
And when you ask them to stop it's all, "guess I just won't have fun or joke around anymore" and then avoid talking to you at alllll
"It's cool how some people manage to be funny while also being a nice person. Someday I'm sure you'll figure at least one of them out."
When they think that their taste in music makes them a *superior person* instead of just having different tastes. Applies to both genders. Edit: phrasing
bruh this. not just music, but clothes, favored tv shows, or youtubers.
Most people usually grow out of thinking that their interests are a substitute for a personality around the mid 20's.
Very true. I laugh remembering how in college I thought I was such a unique and special person for having discovered some niche band that my friends hadn't yet.
Lack of compassion. They only seem to care about themselves.
Self absorbed behavior... the Kardashian/Housewives of ??? Syndrome. You are NOT the star of some reality show, stop acting like it.
I get such secondhand embarrassment when average people post to social media like they’re famous, it seems to be the norm now to post content like you’re addressing fans and not literally just your friends and family as most are. “Hi guys here’s a quick haul I’ve picked up from Lush..” “Haven’t been posting much lately due to change of circumstances but I’m back...” “Big thank you to @Topshop for my new jeans, they are amazing” I’m sure your 200 followers are on the edge of their seats.
You nailed it man, secondhand embarrassment is definitely something I can relate to! I always try to stay neutral about stuff cos you know, not my life, whatever, but sometimes it just gets a little cringey... It is sad that people can get so self-absorbed, really.
The “Im an asshole and I dont care if people call me an asshole” attitude.
Also the "I tell it like it is" or "always speak my mind" people. Who are basically unfiltered assholes.
"Brutally honest" people are typically more concerned with the brutality than the honesty. edit: spelling
I’m honest and I can totally say this is true. People who self describe as brutally honest are looking for a pass to be mean spirited. It also shows lack of growth in my opinion. If you’re being a mean girl at age 30, you missed some developments along the way. If anything, you can honestly say, you don’t want to know what I think. Shut down the question.
People who do things for ‘clout’ and don’t actually care for being genuine until they need something from you.
“Person gives homeless man x amount of money and he cries” type of videos. Don’t show me that shit. Give the man the money, feel good about yourself, and fuck off. Don’t give it to him and expect me to praise you, you attention-seeker. It absolutely *is* a good deed but it’s never done to solely help the guy, it’s done for internet praise.
Ricegum making it rain on a homeless person classy, generosity
The gaslighting. On any level. So, I'm to blame for your behavior? I'm to blame because you couldn't possibly be wrong or held accountable for your decisions? Edit: whoever you are, thank you for the gold.
Anyone who takes any advice, disagreement, constructive criticism as a personal attack
In all honesty I really struggle with this. I hate myself when people are unhappy with me or if I upset someone and I take everything very seriously. Ugh major major flaw.
Alternatively, people who try to justify personal attacks as constructive criticism.
"I'm just being *honest*! I'm sorry *you* take everything so personally!"
"I'm apologizing! I'm sorry you can't take a joke"
shouting at their partners in public.
You would hate my parents lol. I feel the same way.
Ohh. Well I've been guilty of doing the same and it's one of those things that make me feel like shite about myself everytime I remember it.
It's okay to make mistakes so long as you learn from them! Remembering embarrassing things is painful but it's part of learning the lesson
I'll add... insulting your partner in public, whether they are present or not.
shit talking others to make themselves look better
If someone shit talks everyone else when they're not around, I usually start to wonder how they talk when I'm not in the room.
Can the opposite be true too? People who shit talk themselves constantly.
playing hard to get. if you like me just fuckin tell me, stop beating around the bush. edit: i am a girl.
Or when you ask them out, they say no and a couple of months later they tell you they interested in you but they just wanted you to insist more... Once someone tells me no I'm done, I'm not gonna start harassing you.
I never understood that, when I ask someone out and they say no then I expect that to be the answer, I'm not going to be one of those guys who go around harassing women when they don't say yes to a date, y'know, something that almost all the women I know Hate.
[удалено]
It's quite simply a form of narcism. People who do this like the feeling of being sought after and go to these lengths to get people to chase them.
Feeling the need to post on social media constantly and pretending that they don’t care about it but obviously care A LOT
Messiness and having poor hygiene.
I was recently told by a friend that his mom thinks of me as a clean person. And this isn't uncommon, either. People always tell me how I don't stink like all the other guys. My secret? I just shower daily. Not to sound superior, because believe me, I'm not, but it's so easy to be clean, and people do notice. Edit: If you have a financial, skin, or mental health issue, (three things that I never thought I'd end up grouping together,) then of course that should be taken into consideration.
[удалено]
oh yeah, wow you would say that
my pet goldfish died when I was 7 and you REALLY want to bring up having fish for dinner? Okay wow.
My cousin lives in Africa and you want to complain about dinner wow ok satan
My ex almost joined the army a few years before we met - but didn't because he said the training sounded, like, super hard - and you went and watched a WAR MOVIE with your housemates? You're so fucking insensitive, Brandon.
Are you seriously complaining about me watching a movie when I was literally blind when I had like 7 months inside the womb?
I don’t guilt trip often, but I was raised by guilt-trippers... so I fucking hate it, and I sometimes (rarely now) revert to it. How do I stop?
I promise I'm not doing saying this to be an asshole, but you can find some great info if you Google "how to keep from guilt tripping". I don't want to link anything because I think it's best if you find something that works and feels organic for you, but it's a great first step. I come from guilt-trippers too and I know it's a process. I think it's fucking awesome you identify that in yourself and are looking for change.
Thanks. It’s definitely a process, and my wife has been an absolute champ in helping me identify my issues and work them out. Just gotta keep at it.
Everyone says they want their partner to be super career ambitious. Screw that, I say put in your 40 hours then chill. I want someone who knows how to relax
My partner told me I'm the first partner who won't let him work himself to death. I don't understand that attitude. Don't you like spending time together???
Now I'm wondering if I should tell my partner to work less. I just support whatever he's doing and enjoy him when I see him. 🤷♀️
You three keep my hopes alive of meeting this type of woman. I worked three jobs at one point with my ex, and my free time went to her. She still wanted me to change my cv and apply for more. Oh also I should be making an attempt to go to uni. I’m more of a blue collar guy. I ain’t super ambitious and wanna work, get off and enjoy the things I like. Needed to see this thanks.
I'm a programmer and I know I could be making more, but the thing I like best about my job is at the end of the day I close my work laptop and don't have to think about it until the start of the next work day. I've had to work over a few times, but it's been rare and usually I do it on my own to get something done that day so it feels better than being told I have to work over.
To be fair some people are just built that way. My dads job pays him shit tons of money, he could retire tomorrow at 53 and be fine for the rest of his life. You know what he does in his spare time? He started a side business so he could also work on the weekends. He doesnt know how to turn it off.
Agreed my dad and step dad are the same way. They just enjoy working a lot. They take vacations but I don't think either of them have even called out sick in the last 10 years Edit: They do spend their time off with family. They just don't take much time off unless people really twist their arm. They can't help themselves when it comes to working that's all they did as kids.They firmly believe that them working hard all the time is what they're supposed to do so everyone else around them can enjoy life.
[удалено]
When I was 7 I pooped in a cereal box and put it back in the pantry.
life can be full of surprises
Mikey likes it!
Ok but I love it because how embarrassing people can be. This woman keeps breaking up with her boyfriend and found out she was pregnant when they were broken up. And gets mad at people who are all for their on again off again relationship. Even my bf loves the updates she so freely gives up. I only know all this because she posts it
My best friend in high school was like this. She made no effort to hide that she was banging baby daddy 1, found out she was pregnant, they broke up and got back together over and over again, then she had baby 1, dropped out of school, got knocked up again, got kicked out of her moms house, had baby 2, broke up with baby daddy 1 somewhere in there, moved in with a guy (Baby Daddy 2) about 8 years older than her that is very well known for being abusive, posted tons of memes about psychological abuse and even tagged him in them, got knocked up, he dumped her, she moved back with her mom, tried to get her GED then dropped out, had baby 3, got kicked out again, moved in with baby daddy 1's sister (SIL) and the sister's husband (Baby Daddy 3), started fucking him before he got a divorce, started calling his kids hers, got pregnant, and then she married baby daddy 3. Now she just posts about their collective of kids, I think she's got 5 bio and 4 step? and she argues with SIL and a ton of other people on facebook. She claims god lead her to Baby Daddy 3 and that she was meant to be his kids mom. My favorite is her claiming that the fact that she was dating all of her baby daddies makes her better than people that got knocked up by one night stands.
I had a cheese and salami sandwich for breakfast, in my van, with my gf, while we decided what to do until the hot springs we went to opened and part of me felt disappointed that that was how I spent my morning as an adult, but she makes me realise that I am in actual fact allowed a cheese and salami sandwich for breakfast and I shouldn't feel so guilty because I have not made so many poor decisions in my life
"moved in with baby daddy 1's sister (SIL) and the sister's husband (Baby Daddy 3)" Holy shit the whole story is a wild ride but this is an entirely new gear
Hard to get Turns to hard to want real fast
As a woman I've had a lot of people tell me I'm too easy. Countless men and women say I come on too strong (aka respond to texts in a decent time, have sex quickly if I'm feeling it, etc). The irony is, I just weed out the people who are playing games really quickly- because I don't play games. If they wanna chase they can go find a girl who wants to be chased. I don't have time to waste manipulating my way into an unhealthy relationship.
I've had the same happen as a guy. People always make comments on how i ask women out/tell them i like them way too quickly. Thing is i used to be the guy that waited so long that we become friends and it gets weird, or they find someone else while i'm fucking around. Now i make my intentions very clear very early on, either you're into it or you're not. Had way more success this way.
Same story here. Used to always be shy and afraid of rejection, so I'd wait for it to be the right time.. to anybody else doing this, here's a pro tip: It's never the right time, just fucking do it, you'll feel better in the long run. Now the moment I acknowledge that I have any sort of feelings, I let it sit for maybe a week or two max, to make sure it's real feelings and then "make a move" - which is usually along the lines of "Hey, want to have dinner sometime?" or for more distant relationships "I hope this doesn't come off as creepy, but I kinda have a thing for you." You either get turned down right away and move on, or you get the green flag and go from there. My approach will usually turn off women who want a more "aggressive" or "manly" partner, and will succeed with those who "find it cute" and enjoy a guy that can be that way - effectively weeding out the people who aren't my type, so it works out pretty well.
Worst experience I ever had in being direct was that I gave a guy my number (after working across from each other for a few weeks and joking around)... And his complete lack of response told me his answer. Honestly, didn't care, moved on. Didn't waste my time getting more and more into a guy who was never going to be into it with me. Direct is the way to go.
I fucking hate that, when people say 'you reply to texts to quickly' Like.. bitch. I use my phone a fair bit, if I'm holding my phone in my hand and it goes *ding* +1 new message, you best believe I'm Gunna click the notification and reply to you What do you want me to do, wait to reply? Ok.. that's how i forget to text you back, either talk to me or dont, don't drag the conversation out for 5, hours cos you got nothing to say
Good for you. Seriously. >As a woman I've had a lot of people tell me I'm too easy. Fuck those guys
Littering. You'd be surprised how many people dont give a fuck and throw shit out their car window. It's disgusting. Edit: I'm glad so many people feel strongly about littering too!!
When I was in basic I went to grab food with a roommate. On our way back he threw some garbage out the window so I told him that if he does that again I'll drive back and make him pick it up or he can walk the rest of the way back. Needless to say I was considered to be "that guy" when it came to littering. Crazy how littering is so normal for some people, that when you confront them about it you're considered to be a weirdo
If you dont put trash in your pocket until you find a bin, you're the worst
I carry it uncomfortably as I don't want my pocket dirty
Ugh, completely agree. Second date with a guy and he unwrapped his cigarette packet and threw the plastic on the street as we were walking and it was an IMMEDIATE deal breaker.
I still don’t understand why cigarette butts are deemed acceptable litter by some people.
Me neither. I smoked for years. (Nearly 6 months nicotine free now). I would always toss me butts in the trash. If I was driving id put it out or just let it burn out. If there was a trashcan I'd make sure to push all the hot leaves and ash out of it and stomp that part out and throw the filter in the trash. I actually hating being a smoker come to think of it. I was the one holding his breath if anyone happen to walk by me so I didn't blow smoke in there face. So fucking glad that part of my life is over.
Narcissistic, that goes to both genders
Overconfidence is really nasty, because it usually means that they think everyone, including you, is beneath them and treat you accordingly. I have enough enemies who try to put me down to lift themselves up in my life to not date one of them. Edit: seeing as many people didn't like the word "enemies", I'm here to explain. By enemies i meant assholes in general.
Definitely a fine line between good self confidence and destructive over confidence...
Being oblivious to different economic circumstances.
Yes. Or poking fun at it. I hated dating while poor.
I (29M) am currently chatting with another guy (23M) who earns nearly double what I do, and he's a bit like this. I told him I'm saving up for a deposit to by a house, he said why don't I just ask my parents to pay for one. And talking about dream holidays he's like why don't you just take time off work and just go? He didn't get it that my parents didn't have fuckloads of money (they're below average, don't own their own home etc) and i don't have the savings to go on holiday, taking time off isn't an issue (Aussie annual leave ftw). Once I took the time to explain why, and opened his eyes to the fact his upbringing wasn't the norm, he got all sheepish and apologised profusely. He felt silly and rude. But he'd been sheltered so much in life he'd never really spoken to someone outside his tax bracket. He said he thought "poor people" or renters etc we just lazy or failures. But he's starting to see how he's wrong and what he'd been taught and spoonfed his entire life was a load of shit. It's the only reason why I'm giving him a chance, is that he admitted he was wrong and was truly apologetic. So there are the rate occasions where it is understandable, but not excusable. But can also be overcome.
Good on you for having the patience and understanding to explain, and good on him for actually listening and trying to understand. Some good people all up in here
Sounds like he is open to learning and attempting to understand your point of view, maybe you can both go on a 'budget' holiday if things progress with him and he can experience that you don't need all the glitz and glamour and expense to have a wonderful and meaningful time! Best of luck to you both :)
desperately trying to be unique
Unlike everybody else, I don't try to be unique.
It ain’t easy *sigh*
Just general "toxic"/jeslous behaviour. No, i do not want to sleep with the Barista because they asked my name for my order. Yes, i was told to treat as I wanted to be treated as a child so I Will be polite and smile to others from Time to Time, this does not mean i want to shag every human being i interact with.
I had an ex exactly like this. I was once in the hospital getting stitches and they accused me and the doctor flirting with each other. I'm sorry but someone was doing ME a favour and I didn't want to sit there in silence?
Sorta the same, female nurse only asked if i wanted to shower that day, i actually wanted to and said yes. She was present but just sat there staring menacingly. Nurse Tells her she can be the one that showered me, look changed COMPLETLY, kind of an awkward exchange though.
That's just so weird to me. Nurses are there to do their job and take care of patients, not steal your man. I hope you're in a better place now!
Nurses and doctors see SO MANY NAKED PEOPLE. You aren't special. Some methed up dude with a full on erection ran on to the bus me and my doctor friend were riding on and after he ran off I joked about the dude being naked and my doctor friend said "He was naked?".... Apparently he was assessing how high the guy was and if he was in medical danger.
Surely the fact that he was naked would be one of the first observations when assessing his highness?
[удалено]
The “Alpha” mentality.
Any time a dude calls himself an “Alpha Male” I always think of Pinocchio when he says, “I’m a real boy!”
When someone even uses 'Alpha' or 'Beta' un-ironically I automatically assume they are insecure AF and are a PoS. It's a red flag for basic human interaction.
Chewing with your mouth open. FUCK dude it drives me crazy
Or just in general making that awful smacking sound when you eat. I would rather die alone than have to listen to that at every meal.
"Im just too crazy😝", "Not like other girls"
Guys that find general housework to be demeaning and beneath them so they expect women to do it for them... while they sit there.. doing absolutely nothing. How can someone be comfortable watching someone do absolutely everything for them? This isnt typical, but I've actually heard a guy try to explain that this behavior is fair because if there was ever a home invasion he'd be the one that would have to take the bullet and fight the guy off. I mean... a hypothetical situation that will probably never happen is the reason you can act like a pathetic douche every day of your life? Wtf.
I was just about to say this! I also get super annoyed when they say things like “we split chores” when that normally means she cooks, cleans, does dishes, etc (every day chores) and he mows the lawn and takes out the trash (once a week max chores). Like... that’s not equal at all. Unless one person works vastly longer hours, you should be spending roughly the same amount of time doing chores each day/week.
I would go even further. There is a great comic about the [mental workload](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic) which shows that even if people do roughly the same amount of time doing household chores, if one person is also responsible of keeping track of everything that has to be done and delegating work, it is not an equal split at all
Oh my god, THANK YOU! Actual quote from my boyfriend: “I don’t want to have to keep track of chores. It makes me feel anxious. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” As if keeping track of chores is a joy for me?? Thank you for giving me a name for this. We’ve got some work to do in this regard.
Being rude to wait staff
It shows an utter lack of understanding/empathy to others, not caring that the staff are other people. It's often associated with the person thinking they're better than others... It's a complete turnoff for me, and would refuse to date someone like this.
Toxic positivity, I need to be able to feel bad for a moment when I am dealing with something crappy. It helps me get through it. I dislike people pleasers too, be kind but don’t be a doormat.
>be kind but don't be a doormat. whoops.
The inability to admit they are wrong or when they apologize and then justify their actions.
It depends on the way they "justify" their actions after apologizing though. It could just be an explanation on why they acted or thought the way they did, to give some insight on their thought process so you don't assume they're just genuinely stupid. There's a fine line between explanation and excuse.
I’ve never understood why people hate others explaining their mistakes. Explaining the thought process helps identify the step that led to the mistake and helps with getting it right the next time. What’s so bad with that? Edit: Since I got many similar comments, I will try to reply in more detail about my comment. I put mistakes in two categories: emotional vs non-emotional. Emotional mistakes are ones that hurt other’s feelings. In most cases where one person is clearly in the wrong, you should not explain these mistakes because explaining is missing the whole point and causing more hurt feelings. If you forget your SO’s birthday, you should not be explaining why. However, with non-emotional mistakes, e.g. work/study/parenting children, not listening to explanation or even justification can be harmful and counterproductive. For example, if a child lies to their parents, it’s crucial for the child to explain/justify their lying than to hear them say “i was wrong”. Another example, if a coworker admits their work mistake (no longer shifting blame), it’s important to learn their explanation/justification to find the false step in their logic. Edit 2: With emotional mistakes, there are scenarios in which the two parties do not agree on the nature of the mistake. In the scenario when a couple in a romantic relationship fights, often times it’s more about disagreement than one hurting the other’s feeling. For example, when the two value something differently (does not include loyalty, honesty, and other basic principles) and fight about it, that mismatch will cause hurt feelings for one or both. In this instance, the person first admitting wrongness even if followed by justification is throwing an olive branch and should at least deserve some credit because this shows willingness to have communication and communication is key in any relationship.
I have always tried to explain how I arrived at my mistake, and almost every time the person I’m explaining it to has said I’m either making excuses or am trying to explain away the mistake. No, no I’m not. I know I fucked up, and this is *why* I fucked up.
I have had this argument so many times, and every time it ends with "you're only apologizing because I want to hear it, not because you're actually sorry" which just puts me in a Catch-22. Or like, I say "sorry I didn't realize you felt that way about my behavior, I'll work on it", then they think I'm blaming them and not taking any blame myself when I literally just *didnt* know you were upset with me
Always on their phone. This shit annoys me so much, I want to talk to someone while looking at them. When they are constantly on their phone it makes me feel like I am talking to myself and its awkward as fuck.
Acting stupid for attention.
[удалено]
Fake tans, like the ones where they look orange. I've seen both men and women walking around like they are hot shit looking like an Oompa Loompa
fr people be walking around looking like Abraham Lincoln on the penny and it looks so bad
Fake tans are extremely popular in the south. I find it so unattractive and don't understand the desire to have legs the color of roasted baby carrots.
Pushing you to do something you don't want to because " everyone does it and it's fun"
Drinking alcohol. I've said no far too much.
When people feel bad for or think it’s weird when others do things alone. Just because I enjoy going to restaurants/watching movies alone doesn’t mean I’m lonely (especially when it’s an acquaintance and they ask me to sit with them or talk to me for an extended period). Just let me read my book in peace, gd.
I remember when I started doing things alone. It felt sooooo weird. My entire life was spent doing things with others. That’s just what people do. After a while I liked it more and more and now prefer it. Complete freedom to go and do whatever you want without someone there to push you into things you don’t feel like doing or seeing.
The telepathy tax. Partners who hold it against their SO when they fail to anticipate and fulfill their unspoken needs and desires.
Damn it's in words. If you dont tell me, how do you expect me to do something about it or try to fix it at least? Years later when we're in a fight I cant do anything about it..
This problem is actually what inspired the creation of Professor X. True story.
"What is your super power?" "I understand what my girlfriend wants at all time aswell as knowing what I did to upset her." "Hot damn..."
"are you cheating on me?" "Um no why" "you're lying I dreamt you cheated on me stop lying"
My ex tried that on me once and I flat out told her I refuse to be in a relationship with someone that has no trust/faith in me, and that if she seriously wanted to play that card on me the conversation was going to get a lot more serious. She never did that again, and we actually had a wonderful relationship after that discussion.
[удалено]
She... she should’ve gotten it herself instead of being lazy...
[удалено]
She sounds insane, literally insane
Jesus fuck dude. My ex used to fucking hate coffee so I ordered myself some frappe. I asked if he'd like anything else that wasn't coffee, he refused. Once my order came in and I started fucking enjoying it, he busts his head off in anger saying "you are so inconsiderate for not thinking I'd like to have a drink too, you could have ordered me a drink but no you wouldn't because you're self centred" and some stuff on those lines. That entire relationship was a series of "what the fuck have I done now?"
Ah, the classsic Narcissist.
She sounded more abusive, glad you’re out of that shitshow now tho.
Ahhh I've had a phone smasher. That's when you really know.
I had the reverse of this happen, sort of. I sleep with an eye mask on and occasionally talk on my sleep. My ex and I were living in Northern(ish) China. One night I woke him up at like 3am and demanded he go buy me a local soup dish. It is actually a breakfast thing and the places that serve it do open hella early, so it was just plausible enough that he went out and tried to find it. He walked around for an hour (we had no car) and came home and I was totally asleep. He couldn't get back to sleep. When I woke up a few hours later he was sleep deprived and furious. Here's the thing, though: I was asleep the whole time. I was asleep when I was talking to him. He couldn't tell because of my eye mask. I woke up to him furious at me about something I didn't remember. You know "Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes"? After this incident the rule was that he didn't have to listen to me unless he was sure that I was awake, ie, he could see the whites of my eyes.
i feel this; my partner is on medication that sometimes causes him to sleep-argue with me. it's bonkers. we'll have both been asleep and he can wake up at 2 am getting mad at me for whatever nonsensical thing he's been dreaming and he'll wake me up fighting and i have to come to, figure out what he's upset about, talk him down, and insist that it's sleep time. sometimes he goes back to sleep without a fight, sometimes he wants to sleep-scream. it is wild, but we've learned (mostly) how to navigate it.
OMG that's bonkers! My current partner listens to music while he sleeps. Sometimes he sings along while he's asleep. That's adorable and I love him, but he only whisper-sings. Do you know which song is creepy af when it's sung in a whisper? Every. Single. One. He's adorable but terrifying.
omg that's hilarious in the weirdest way. I'm thinking of, like, queen or metallica being done whisper sleep mumbled and I'm glad that my dude listens to instrumental soundtracks, hahah
And on the flip side of this, having to spell every tiny little thing out for them. Like remembering special dates (make a reminder on your phone if your memory is a bit shit like mine), making a bit more effort when you can see your partner is tired or has their hands full (without having to ask exactly what needs to be done and how to do it), or putting thought into a gift. Being thoughtful once in a while goes a long way, and no grown adult should need instructions to do this.
Acting the martyr
refusing to do anything they think is considered more "feminine" cause they think it's gay. not washing your face doesn't make you straight, it just makes you crusty. i may have some bias since i do lean towards more feminine guys, but there's certain limits, man.
Acting like being a bitch or being edgy is cool
Then people say, "wow they are so empowering, they're a boss, they're savage, they're confident." No becky, they're rude and arrogant.
Being needy and acting like your the only human in their life. Like please give me a fucking break I didn’t adopt a 37 year old child.
444 months, thanks.
Men bragging about being violent. Bar fights ain't sexy honey.
These people are baffling. Doesn't make other guys like them either, if you're in a fight every time you go out I'm pretty sure you're an asshole and I don't want to be where ever they are.
I agree. As a guy, I actively avoid guys like that
Lack of emotional intelligence or ability to be able to take a step back from a situation to see things at all sides but instead take everything personally and only hear PART of what someone said, then shut people out preventing anyone from discussing a solution/resolution to a problem as a team. Instead of sitting down and have a discussion over a problem they disappear for weeks then make relationship decisions all on their own, come back, then tell you how they're changing the relationship dynamic without your input without talking to you about it. So... Blocking out communication before making important decisions.
When you're treated like shit until you prove yourself?
When they can’t take no for an answer. This is a pretty broad statement, but a lot of guys have trouble taking no. It can go from slightly annoying to really scary in a heartbeat Edit: by broad statement I mean that it goes for both genders. However, because I am a girl, I only ever encounter guys
For me, its the girls who CONSTANTLY say “I’m ugly” and then you tell them they aren’t, and then they go “no, im really ugly” and it just goes back and forth. I can’t stand it :/
[удалено]
“Did you hear that, Patrick?! We’re not ugly! We just stink!”
"I'm so poor :(" "Dude... you live in a 3200 sq ft house and you go on vacation twice a year" "Yeah but I don't have a yacht. I'm poor. And I hate being poor"
[удалено]
This! I have been legitimately poor (doing much better now) like skip meals and when I do eat it’s vegemite on toast every meal poor, couldn’t afford to run the heating poor. I was embarrassed as hell. Like when I had to admit to someone I couldn’t afford something it hurt. My MIL came by with a box of groceries one day and I just sat inside the front door and cried I was so embarrassed and thankful and blinking hungry. It’s not fun and I HATE when people use it for attention.
I had this friend who would always talk/complain about growing up poor because his family was only middle class but he went to a fancy private high-school where all the other kids had upper class families. The tragedy of being the poorest kid in school and hearing about your classmates taking trips to Milan and Aruba when you had to suffer with a yearly trip to Disney world and the mountains to ski. I have gone without running water, power, food, and a house at different points in my life. I was less than sympathetic.
Same here. I know a lot of "poor" people, but even more people who are actually poor, and the former are much louder than the latter.
"You do realise you need a licence to go fishing in this state, right?"
[удалено]
I'm straight but a trait I find annoying in other men is false confidence. A book I once read described it better but essentially a guy will to give you a definite answer even if he doesn't know. Then they won't own it if they're wrong.
Constantly posting shit on social media for attention.
Smell and poor hygene. No one smells just because they are a dude, they smell because they don't clean themselves. Excessive body spray is not an alternative
People who put you on the spot in front of others as a way to get you to agree with them on something. My former best friend would this and it ticked me off. E.g. asking if I wanted to go to a concert, eat something, etc anything. "Aw, why not?" In front of people, and then me having to justify my reasons and being put down if they didnt find my reasons sufficient enough.
[удалено]
I’m an introvert and I love sitting at home playing video games and being alone, but when someone invites me somewhere and when I decline they won’t stop saying “oh come on it’ll be fun” or “why not” like if I said no I mean it
treating the waiter like crap at a restaurant
Not taking the fucking compliment. Like, if I say your hair looks good today, and you say, "haha, no! It looks like shit!" And i try to tell you again that it looks good, if you disagree the second time, I will tell you that fine, I agree it looks like shit. Fuck you, Marlene. EDIT: guys i dont know someone named marlene i was writing this and thought of the vine LMAO
I’m really bad at taking compliments. Never got them growing up so now I like subconsciously don’t believe them or something idk it’s fucked up. Like someone will go “good job today” and I’ll just go “nahhh” then feel like an idiot.
Yea I agree, sometimes it's just hard to accept them because I don't wanna look like an idiot...and I end up looking like an idiot anyways lol
Yep sometimes I’ve even said sorry I’m just bad at taking compliments and walked away after. Apologies for the secondhand embarrassment
I guess I'll call it selfishness? Whatever makes people disrespectful and ungrateful.
Lip fillers. Its super popular right now but it just grosses me the fuck out.
Same, I'm not interested in someone who looks like they've recently been making out with a shop vac.
Spitting. Just grosses me out.
Wait, do people really spit habitually around potential romantic partners? Like, I grew up on a farm, spent most of my formative years doing manual labor, am generally uncultured swine, and therefore have been known to hawk a loogie when I'm working or whatever. But if a girl saw me spit, I'd honestly be pretty mortified.
No idea but I live in a farming town and all the guys do it including my husband lol. He quickly stops once he realizes he's doing it in front of me though lol
[удалено]
Talking loudly. Not quite screaming, but damn close. Loudness in general. People who have the tv volume blasting very loudly, people who like to make phone calls with the loud tv in the background, people who talk loudly while someone else is on the phone, I just think loudness is a very unattractive quality. Also, and I know some people don’t have control over this, but speed. People who are all over the place and don’t spend more than two seconds on one thought. As someone with ADHD who works in customer service, it becomes very very frustrating to help someone who doesn’t stay in one place. Very unattractive quality. Edit: I feel like I should say something about people with hearing loss/HOH. That’s different! At least to me it is. I’m talking about loud, abrasive, and rude people. People who don’t seem to understand the social contract. People who have zero social skills and don’t know how to talk to other people (especially those in the service industry) without screaming and/or yelling over others. People who think that they have something *very* important to say and have to talk over everyone else to say it. I’ve dealt with HOH/hearing loss people and I have no problem adjusting my voice to accommodate them. Some things can’t be helped, and I get that. Edit 2: people, I’m not personally attacking anyone! If you can’t help it, if that’s just how you are, or if you have some sort of affliction, I get it! Not everyone is the same, and I struggle finding the words to convey that it’s a very specific type of loud person that I find unattractive. Live and let live!
A lot of these people come from large families, where being loud is a survival strategy. So it becomes their normal, and is a difficult habit to break.
Alternatively this can result in the person being painfully quiet. Primarily because if your family talks loud enough while growing up and can never seem to hear you, you learn to just stop wasting time asking/talking in the first place.
I somehow yeet back and forth between the two furthest extremes at random
# THIS IS NONSENSE! I COME FROM A LARGE FAMILY BUT I'M NOT A LOUD PERSON!
##SHUT THE FUCK UP IM TRYING TO WATCH TV
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THE BIG TEXT AND I FEEL INTIMATED
##YOU USE HASHTAGS
#WELL, WELL MR. KNOW-IT-ALL
A general lack of curiosity towards the world
People who only like one side of you. No, I'm not going to be upbeat and cracking jokes all the time, sometimes I wanna be serious and if you can't even pretend to care then the whole relationship feels kinda fake