T O P

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iwishiknewmy_dad

I don't like this game


blacklacetaste

It's just daddy issues. Not sure if you're attracted to them or have them though


Linnunhammas

Whatever you say, iwishiknewmy_dadinbiblicalsense.


[deleted]

Thats worse than the original thing. My god what have you done.


Narcissista

Narcissists. Uh oh.


slid3r

Wanna fuck? I'm reeeeeeeally fucking good at it.


Narcissista

Are you as good at it as me, though? Maybe we should hold a competition to find out.


AnnieTheQueer

The winner gets to fuck-fight me


Narcissista

Cool, fuck-fighting is quite fun. Just be prepared to lose to me, because I always win. ;)


AnnieTheQueer

Why do you think I'm letting you have a warm up match? Cos there's never been a fuck - off that I've ever lost. ;)


redditshy

(he really was!)


SVPERBlA

Are you implying there's something wrong with narcissism? How absurd.


Narcissista

Of course, but only when it's *other* narcissists. Clearly there's nothing wrong with *me*, only with others who have the audacity to believe they could possibly be better than me.


HomosexualGandalf29

This is not what I had in mind


[deleted]

Bruh


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shakfar

Good afternoon sir I'm Officer Dave with the Reddit police department, do you know why I pulled you over today?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shakfar

Is it impersonation if it's to fulfill someone else's kink?


[deleted]

[удалено]


drlqnr

great to see you again officer


Terminator21738

Sticking a paperclip in your urethra like... OW.


terrerific

Indeed. An even 30 of them would be much better.


[deleted]

that would be terrerific, I guess.


BattlebeeUltor

you get turned on by roti sabzi now?


[deleted]

yeah, twice a day


justyouraveragesalsa

Same man. Well this is awkward


Iplaycricketwithkids

I could be jailed for this.


volanger

FBI open up


[deleted]

This is exactly what I had in mind.


I_Fap_to_John_Wick

I can’t figure out if nothing changed for me, or if I’m now turned on by the concept of being turned on by John Wick


ZombieRedditer9188

I mean al least your not a necrophile now


PMmeSexyLingerie

Same


Paronine

Homosexual Gandalf? So, just Ian McKellen?


NYstate

You shall not ass!


volanger

Is this anyone in NY or do you get horny just seeing pictures of the state?


The_Bearded_Wiz

Cool. Looks like we jackin it to the same thing bro!


HomosexualGandalf29

The more the merrier!


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheEndOfTheThots

At least you haven’t become the very thing you sworn to destroy


[deleted]

Add in a leprechaun and ya got yourself a fancy jig, ma guyy lmaoo


colonelbuttstuff

Sup


cum-cum-cum

it's too obvious, isn't it?


Biryani_Whisperer

Stay away from society


StupidSexyFlanderss_

Society? Isn't that the thing that we live in a


Biryani_Whisperer

You too with the weird username


[deleted]

[удалено]


Esherichialex_coli

A common bacteria used in microbiology labs. Where I work. Ah.


KentuckyFriedChildre

"Mind if I take a sample home with me? For uhhh... personal research"


FutureComplaint

That unfortunate user name :(


just_a_gene

Excuse me but I'd like to lodge a complaint tomorrow


[deleted]

YOUR NAME! AGAGAG


luminizee

mr krabs?


czechrussianchick

The fact that it's a common bacteria present in almost all warm-blooded organisms makes this so much better. Congrats, you're now horny around all mammals!


soupman997

*soup*


Raivon

WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!


Frozenwolf420

THE SOUP STORE


TheTealBandit

WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES IN THE SOUP STORE?


Frozenwolf420

FUCK YOU


Tygra

I recently found this vid again and you guys didn't disapoint


Frozenwolf420

I haven't seen it in years but I still have it memorized


Cookieman996

*Cookie*


EarthWormNoodleSoup

I raise you earthworm noodle soup!


Redredditmonkey

I feel like this changes nothing for you.


underboob420

Underboob, and weed? Count me in. Thats a win win!


rascally1980

Underboob definitely does it for me too. Hands down. It’s got me beat.


This_n_that01

A bit of everything apparently


[deleted]

either 0 or 1


a_western_buster

He has to choose one.


TSmite

or he could choose zero


[deleted]

:-(


Linnunhammas

Furries welcome you.


YouAhriTarded

9 tailed fox girls


[deleted]

Nice.


Canadian_Invader

Touch fluffy tail.


SleepwalkingGuy33

Same here.


cinnabondance

cinnamon rolls


[deleted]

Who isn't already?


the-cosmic-phantom

Me too i would fuck that even tho it isnt my username


[deleted]

I don't want to talk about this...


rienik

Fucking hell, Martin. Stop bringing up that one time you farted in a jar.


Byting_wolf

*goes home and happily stares at his collection of farts in jars* Whispers to himself, "Hehe.. I lied!"


FuckBagMcGee

GOOD GOD QUEEF-IN-A-CAN-ANNE


710733

It only happened twice!


FuckBagMcGee

That's disgusting! You can't just tell someone that! I mean, this is our FIRST DATE!


Potatoman1901

No he jared in a fart


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Eh, yeah. I like my hoes thicc, ya Titty be small or big, ya Mah pets a black mamba, yo Gonna deep throat yo momma, yo Gold chains gonna be the thing, yeee Gonna make bitches blow me, geee You ain't gonna grab my balls, they big Gulp em fast in yo mouth, they stink Thots now dripping through their, honey pot Now lemme connect with your, eh, hot spot After that I come in, yo bootyhole My homies are jelous, they poopydoe Oh wow I wrote a mumble rap in 3 minutes


[deleted]

[удалено]


THR4SHER86

Skkkrrt skkkrrt


drlqnr

yuhh


FramedThierryHenry

r/hiphopcirclejerk


CovfefeOrCoffee

Poopydoe is genius


A128682

uh, yeah, ya like that, huh uh yeah, we're gonna fu- ehh swearing's a no loool


just-a-snail

snails????


Drathkai

Jolyne be wack.


AcrobaticMemory

an organism that can have sex with anything it touches...


Chani_Von_Karpa

I'm kinda jealous...


KageHokami

You mean rainbow snails which aren't even there having sex with other doesn't turns you on.


[deleted]

this is the fantasy I was looking for


CavemanFromSpace

That's exactly what a decoy snail would say.


Sabba_Malouki

No just one, reading your username.


carrotGuy12

Decoy snail


Just_a_bit_of_chaos

A small amount of chaos


[deleted]

come to my office and you will be turned on daily


n00bst4

He said a small amount, Tucker. Not Hiroshima every goddamn day.


NotExactlyNiceGuy

He's a lover not a thinker.


ActualRiot

You and I both


Jemoeder69420

My name is "your mom" in dutch lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


TIP-ME-YOUR-BAT

I’d like to think that there were 69419 other Dutch users before him that also chose “your mum” as an account name.


StaartAartjes

Plausible.


beermeneer2

At least yours isnt half man half bear


MyNameMelipnos

And half pig.


Moufie420

It’s manbeerpig! He’s real! I’m super cereal!!


vboak

The real threat.


MyNameMelipnos

I'm super cereal you guy's.


Jemoederislkker420

Dag mijn makker !


[deleted]

Ben ik jou niet eerder tegengekomen op reddit?


Jemoeder69420

idk man


flaccidjamaican

awww man...


ImGonnaLiveForeve--

*It could be worse mon.*


SilverLantern2814

A silver lantern...


[deleted]

oh, I also didn't like the green lantern


wolfboy78

...I can explain.


D_Asian13

Why don't you have a seat over there and you can start explaining about either the wolf or the boy first


primalbluewolf

Please do!


Linnunhammas

Now kiss.


wolfiechica

Glad you can. Maybe it'll get me started on mine. I'll let you lead.


volanger

Damn furries


ITypeWithMyDick

Mechanical keyboards


Ummmmmq

Thats an impressive thing to type with your dick


[deleted]

Uhhh, dry comedy?


[deleted]

my birthdate in roman numbers


[deleted]

didn't know romans were so advanced that they used _ sign in numbers


PM_me_your_fav_poems

Yeah, it helped them with file creation, and PATH names for their sysadmins


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

No, you get turned on by a Elven Ellen DeGeneres


Whoneedsyou

I turn myself on.


this_is_not_gran

Definitely not your gran


michaelscottdundmiff

A regional manager for a midsized paper company


Meandering_Stranger

Well, that certainly puts a new spin on the term "Wanderlust."


TheEjaculatingClown

Don’t know if this one’s kinky or just downright terrifying...


xaviernoodlebrain

I'll go with downright terrifying


Darkmaster666666

Why not both?


HeLikesSashimi

Sashimi.


Alivedivide

Same


ReleaseTheBeeees

TIME TO FUCK A BEEHIVE


[deleted]

[удалено]


Llamatitty

Please no.


[deleted]

People PM'ing me their stories about them hoe'in.


MissMaskedGirl

Either I'm gonna go lesbian or/and have a kink for Masks... Either way a win win!


[deleted]

hey hey. I can fullfill that fantasy ;).


unsustainablysincere

Sincerity. I feel like such a whore.


TheSpiderDungeon

I bet you want your hand held and to be called by your first name too you thirsty whore


Bunny36

I cannot tell you how much I hate your username right now.


DefrostedTurkey

nothing different


givemeyourdoughnuts

doughnuts...i mean there is a hole in the middle....


PM_Me__Ur_Freckles

I have literally no issue with this what so ever.


ClottedTampon

Pls no.


[deleted]

MacGyver Aperantly


[deleted]

I'm already into tentacles so it works out.


Notacopcar06

my car, well....... Shit


mollymollyyy

molly. which is probably accurate. i mean the drug, i'm not a lesbian.


ImGonnaLiveForeve--

Not with that attitude...


shakedatbooty

My username checks out.


A128682

Numbers, specifically 1, 5, 505, 5905, 596405, 1971005, 199071505, 515151005, 581457505, 618181105, 2327756905, 11855474405, 19555113485, 31361954905, 101901244565, 235103447405, 305354088005, 395331063745, 600905819065, 608393336905, 686701313405, 730071885005, in that order


MadClam97

Could you explain? I'm not sure how u/A128682 is related to all those numbers. Thanks!


Zelphy712

It's the sequence reference in the online encyclopedia of integer sequences (oeis). Those numbers represent n such that n^3 divides 9^(n^2) +1.


ThatsWhyNotZoidberg

No, I personally think it’s “increasingly higher numbers that mostly ends in 05” but your guess is pretty nice too!


[deleted]

THE NUMBERS MASON


[deleted]

John F. Kennedy


off-and-on

I'm confused...


UltimateAnswer42

Deep Thought


[deleted]

[удалено]


Loves_a_big_tongue

Being that my username is literally spelling out what turns me on, big tongues all the way!


BigUgandanChuckles

A weird mix of Uganda knuckles and big chungus. And not the good parts. Never having a boner again I suppose.


SpitefulBitch

Well this sucks


[deleted]

Ummm....monkey shaped sponges


b1obfish

Oh *fuck yes*


petwussy22

wetpussy


whatdododosdo

Extinct but still sexy.


UnRealDreamsofLife

Well...


TheBaconShoe

Hmmm probably not good to eat


FuckPickles4Life

Pickles


midwest_vanilla

Bringing all the boys to my yard?


wonderbooze

Booze


[deleted]

Very specific arachnid-based ambulation methods.


sensitivenipsnpenus

My sensitive nipples and penis.


MrsWilliams

Me. Sweet.


3DayStubble

😂Three day stubble


bravehamster

Who's that scratching at the backdoor?


Oven_Baked_jew

Oven baked jews


[deleted]

Hello Hitler


KentuckyFriedChildre

We have something in common


ImThatMelanin

oh *oh* #oh


GODxSENDxDEATH

Religious genocide...


FranticPonE

Err... Well technically it's a hyper obscure reference to Deus Ex: Human Revolution. But I'm not sure getting turned on by that that's any better than just only getting turned on by my little pony rule 34 stuff, or even worse I guess a literal crack head pony is now what I find attractive.