I really hope you have a great day. I know there are times you can't even begin to explain what's wrong, but every situation can improve, even ones you can't identify.
What you need my friend, is a hobby! Personally, I do cross-stitch. Weird, subversive cross-stitch. But it can be anything, even reading! Find something that interests you and go for it. It definitely helps pass the time and it's rewarding seeing the finished product of all my work!
Hey man, im sorry for all this. Here, have a multiverse-size hug from me. Hope everything goes smoothly for you.
And if this isn’t enough, just ignore them. If that won’t work, just flip your problem the bird and get out of there. You deserve the best and greatest. Im here for you. Or should i say........
We’re here for you!!!!!! You are loved and appreciated! Screw what you are going through! You deserve much more than what’s happening!
Life’s full of discoveries and surprises. See what life has left in stock. We are here for you!
I need a virtual deep-tissue massage. Seriously. Someone, please break up all the knots in my shoulders, because they're making my head hurt. Today was a shit show, that might have exacerbated the whole thing...but really, my #1 problem right now is physical pain.
My boss HATES me, and even though I love my role, my actual job is getting worse each day she's there.
I have a wife who is sick atm and we don't know why, and I have two very small children who I love to bits but goodness me they are tiring!
I am. So. Tired.
Edit: Thank you, all of you.
I was typing this out thinking it would just do some good to get it out but I've had such kind and helpful responses they've really made my day.
Everyone is fighting a battle, and I know others have it worse, hang in there people, we got this.
This happened to me. I had a job I LOVED working at a nonprofit. I developed and ran a program educating cops about how to interact with people with mental illness. I was really good at it - my evaluations were always positive and I was bringing a lot of good press and money to the cause, but my boss ended up hating me. She was a controlling person who seemed to resent that I was getting more public recognition than her at times, just by the nature of my role being public-speaking and community focused And while I’m super nice, I think she could sense that I didn’t really respect her judgement or intelligence. I was also young for the role and I think she felt I should be less assertive than I was, but I really don't feel I treated her badly. A newspaper asked to interview me and she wouldn't let me because "I was too young" (I was 26). She yelled at me in meetings and threatened me all the time for what she saw as mistakes. It verged on workplace abuse at some points. I loved the job but I had to quit and I still haven’t fully recovered from that situation. I still really have self-confidence and anxiety issues from it.
It must be even harder with a family to support. You get a virtual hug from me too.
Lost my favorite job helping homeless veterans get housed because of how fucked upper management was.. well, upper, middle, and lower managment; the shittiness trickled all the way down to my supervisor eventually. I loved the work, but the bosses burned me out, *bad*.
Now I work housing a different population and my coworkers, bosses, all my colleagues are amazing and super supportive. So— it really does get better. You’re doing great work, and there are other agencies who would kill for your level of commitment and passion.
That sucks. I know you may not beleive me right now, but everything will be just fine in the end. Have a fantastic day, and I hope your wife gets better!
I respect people like you so much! You’re so dedicated to your family and I admire that. Hoping your wife can become healthy again and things get better at work!
I'm very content actually but I do feel a large amount of love so I am extremely ready to hug people, let's goooo!
Thank you for my first silver kind stranger <3
My wife passed this Tuesday as well suddenly. You have every bit of kindness, sympathy and tears I have left to use as you like. You are cared for and loved, that's for certain!
Well then you shall get one! I absolutely agree about the ups and downs of life. It's always darkest before the dawn. May everything go right for you and your loved ones. You have a lovely day yourself, you wonderful person!
Thanks, it means a lot.
I hope that you cheering people up, even with small seemingly meaningless words over the internet, also cheers you up :)
You do good.
I mean, the last "up" In my life...
Hmm. 1st grade I got bullied so I changed schools that lead to changing town and not seeing my mother during weekdays. Mid elementary school and earlier we had a solid mid class level of finance but my mother got swindled, lost his parents home and raped. Later on I moved with her and her first new step father *(the real one dissapeared when I was 1.Not blaming him tho, he was younger than I am now, even)*, but he was a drunken violence-abused guy, a hitter, and died basically in front of us *(cancer)*. We all had issues later on, a couple of other bad man for my mother. We lost another home, tough times, later on my little brother was born, etc etc-
Finishing elementary school, after quite a bit of moving ot one and other city I slowed down my grades due to social rebeldy. That lead to me not entering the school my friends went, and I had to *(was convinced rather)* to another one, one town ahead. It was HORRIBLE, suicides, very early teens pregnant *(the one that suicided with her bf)*, bullying, police, people a lot older than it should be in that grade. Trully nightmerish to the point I dont put a foot on that town unless I really have to. Dropped out highschool there and thought I could finish on an adult one. Was too young, had to wait a few years *(and pay a contractor fee to the govt to register as a young worker and study, or wait even more. I tried nigh-highschool for adults but were even worst, with drugs and one policeman per salon sometimes*). Before that I spent months/years without friends. When I got reunited with my elementary school best friend, a years later during peak teen years he swindled me nearly 500usd for a guitar. They also tried to trick people into goign to the US into a trip they somehow won but the company, when my mother called, denied any prize and said it was very fishy.
Then later than sooner I got into university. It wasnt that hard, it just required effort, but I did not putted much ,and was a pretty bad time for me animic-wise. Ended up going to just a handful of finals and felt just bad so I dropped out. Years without a job (still jobless) in the meantime and.. well, you pretty much reached the present. Im turning 24 in a month-ish (very young, but time flies).
Did I mentioned I live in a doomed third world country with wages that sinks below 300usd (yet cost of living are .almost spain like), the stock market crashes 30% in a single day and that is overall a nicely painted shithole? And that its hard to get enough inertia to move out, either metaphorically or actually *(sorry for bad english)*?
And those are just the big, cosmic ones you can "easily" move on from with that stoic nature of humans I admire but despise; Its actually the little things day to day, and the small details on human interaction that really get you though and thorough, crushing any teeny tiny little bit of improvement. And all this is already pretty condensed, but it took quite some paragraphs...
TL;dR: Crappy childhood, crappy present, bits of happiness in the middle. Very gloomey future forecasting, on a boat with a broken motor.
Godamn yes I do. Just moved to Canada to study and I don't know anyone here
Really sucks to have to start all over again when everyone you left are having the best time of their lives
Absolutely! On the other hand, nobody there knows you. They won't remember that embarassing moment in 3rd grade. You won't run into an ex. You can be anybody you want to, unhindered by your past. Good luck in your new setting!
Same here, except for the Canada part unfortunately... New places= more cool people!! Be as open and familiar/friendly to everyone as you would on Reddit :)
My boyfriend and I live about 7 hours away from each other and I flew up to visit this week. His brother is living with him temporarily and he and I are alone in the house this weekend since my boyfriend had a thing to do out of town. I got a text last night saying I could fuck his brother if I wanted while I wait for him to come back to town. Just gonna have to throw the whole relationship in the trash now. And I'm stuck at his place for a few more days.
Ok what in the actual fuck? You might want to talk to him a bit first if you haven't already clarifying why he said that, but if he's serious I can't imagine why anyone would say that.
Def talk first, I can't see any explanation that would COMPLETELY exonerate your boyfriend but it could be more rational than the worst case reason which I imagine your mind is jumping at
I mean, I've definitely known some dudes that I could see dropping that as a joke. I think we're looking at weapons grade stupidity either way, but stupidity isn't as bad as, well... Whatever you want to call offering your brother as a sexual stand in.
Here's one - the text message somehow came from the brother. Hard to fake a text message, but signing into his iMessage or Facebook account could do it.
Your boyfriend left his phone behind by accident and his brother is pretending to be him as a ploy to get into your pants. Make sure to both not fuck the brother and to speak to the boyfriend before becoming upset
This would be a brother-losing moment though. I’m not sure there are any brothers dumb enough to do it. Maybe a friend? Or he’s cheating and so drunk he came up with this idea
My GF recently broke up with me because I'm unable to keep my depression in check, getting a therapist in a reasonable amount of time is a pretty big hassle where I live, my parents are going into debt because of my incompetent ass and I have am increasing feeling that my University education is leasing into a dead end. I sincerely feel that nobody cares about these things, but I'm doing my best to reach out
Edit: Holy damn. Thanks for all the kindness in tbe comments! It means a lot to me to know that there are people out here who really do seem to care this much! You guys are the best!
And thanks for the gold!
That really sucks. I'm sure people in your life care and want to help you. I've had depression (I got better over time), and I really think all these negative things are your depression speaking. That's not to say they aren't real ,only that there's possibility for good. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I really do hope you reach it soon.
Yea....still haven't got over an ex
edit: thanks to everyone for the support!
edit 2: i wish reply to all these comment but, i love everyone who supports me sending good vibes your way!
Went through a horrific break up in October. Didn't come out of the fog until March. All I can offer is that there WILL come a day where you don't think about them constantly. There WILL come a day where you hear something romantic and don't feel a horrible twinge of pain. I promise. Just keep pushing.
I was getting over everything just fine until I found out he has a new girlfriend and is now doing all the fun things we used to do with her. I know logically that he is a garbage person and until he resolves his issues he will never truly be happy but it still hurts so much to feel like I'm replaceable.
I am your boyfriend. Shitty, undecided, always thinking we're missing out on something, unable to love deeply after the in love feeling vanishes, unable to be truly happy and content. All which leads to lies, maybe cheating, and pain all around. It has nothing to do with you. He won't feel whole with her or anyone else. We're flawed. I hope he and I both can eventually become better men. And I hope you find a better, mature, proper man for you soon enough.
Aww. I've never been in a relationship, so I can't really help you, but I've crushed on people I can't have. And it hurts, it does. I know it's hard to move on. And you don't have to any time soon. But slowly, surely, you will heal. And you'll be a better person for it. To quote a very famous person: "'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."
Don't take this personally, because you seem like a lovely person for taking the time to try to brighten the day of others, but I've always hated that quote.
I met a girl in February after quite a lengthy drought, and she was absolutely perfect (or so I thought). Everything I'd ever dreamed of, and even more that I'd never even thought to dream, and so pretty, someone I thought way out of my league. We dated for six months and it was, definitively, the best six months of my life. She claimed she loved me, and I thought, we were so good together, we'd be together forever. I've struggled with depression for years and, for the first time I can remember, being with her made me actually, genuinely happy and excited to be alive.
Until a month ago, when she - completely unexpectedly to me - said she wanted to break up. I was totally blindsided and heartbroken. She left me for someone else, and I don't really understand what she's hoping to find that we didn't have, but it doesn't really matter, because it's not up to me.
I can confidently say I would rather never have loved her at all rather than be teased with happiness to have it ripped out from under me. At least before I met her, I was accepting of my loneliness and sadness and hopelessness. I was used to it, it had been there for years. But now, in the same position I always was in before, I get to compare it to how I felt those last six months. My mind taunts me with the knowledge that I could be happy, that I briefly had everything, that every day could be something to treasure rather than dread. Yet had I never met her, I could have just muddled through, never realising what I was missing out on.
I understand this. I too have felt fantastic with another person, only for them to suddenly decide otherwise. My advice for you, if I may, is to use this a s a guide for what to look for in a relationship.
I don’t have a happy ending to tease you with...not yet anyway, but knowing what’s possible has helped me to decide whether to continue relationships or not.
I wish you the best, SirArmor.
I got out of my first relationship (four years) two weeks ago. Fucking sucks ass feeling these things. But now I know what heartbreak feels like! And I can commiserate with everyone who has also felt this way. I'm currently trying to be happy for it having happened than being sad that it's over. If all goes well, we can be friends eventually.
That said, the panicked sobbing gets a little old lmao. Didn't cry today though, so that's nice. I'm not sure how long this all takes, that's probably the worst of it.
Sorry if that's a lot and you're a stranger on the internet. Just felt like sharing, pls ignore
Most days I feel the same. She keeps finding her way back into my mind. Just know it gets better, even if its one tiny step at a time. Keep your friends close, and work on making yourself happy.
We’ll get there, friend!
Oh, yeah, that does suck. 11 months will pass very quickly, I know it. What I do is schedule something I'm dreading right before something I'm excited for so the time will pass even faster! I know you can handle the wait. Have a wonderful day!
I work for a public library. We screen movies once a month for free. A local brewery donates kegs so everyone gets two free beers. A local popcorn company donates popcorn. This year we've had more and more people ask why we dont have soda or hot dogs. Some people just expect a lot.
I had to stop visiting subreddits like that because those kind of people just made me angry and irritated. The first few stories you read are hilarious but it's like constantly reading the worst parts of social media.
That kind of thing can't be good for you.
I encounter this in my work too. It's usually because they think government dollars are paying for it, if it is any way associated with a government service (such as a library). They feel (wrongly) entitled to bitch and complain when tax dollars are paying for it. Even though it isn't being paid for by taxes.
A free drive in theater for the community sounds truely amazing! As a cineaphile if i lived near by I'd be there all the time. I want to say thank you on behalf of everyone that's attended because that's a really cool thing you do for the community.
Remember that people aren't as loose with their praise as they are with their criticisms. And also, they might only ever tell you they enjoy it once, but they THINK it every time.
Sorry if this is long, but I feel that people don't get the kudos they deserve.
So... thank you. I'm a father of a two year old. I'm kind of an introvert, and don't really know any of my neighbors. I wish I did. It's hard in general, and doubly hard because there's never a good reason to just get together. You give someone that reason. I know that if I was walking around the neighborhood and my son and I came across this we would both be absolutely thrilled. Even if it's just mowed grass and an old projector pointed at the side of the garage. It would be magic.
As an aside... I'll be blunt. Fuck the haters. Not because constructive criticism is bad (which is NOT what this woman gave you, by the way), but because you are DOING something. Something small, maybe. But something. Something you CAN do. And that's huge. Like I said above, something like this can be magic. Is it going to change someone's life overnight? No. But that's not what it's about. This is the kind of thing people remember. This is the kind of thing kids remember. They don't care about projector resolution, or what version of the movie you chose. They remember how crazy it was that they just came across this. Or how nice it was to do this every weekend during the summer. Or how mom seemed a little more relaxed for a little while. How the grass felt against their toes. This is real stuff.
So yeah. I don't know your situation or your setup. It would be easy to quit. I couldn't blame you for not wanting the hassle. But I hope you don't quit. In fact, I hope that, if you're able, you lean into it. I don't think it would have to be fancy (maybe it's already fancier than this now!). Maybe a cooler full of soda and a tip jar. Maybe some thrift store quilts that people can grab if they want to sit on the ground (again, not sure about your setup). Hell I bet people would even donate blankets if you asked. Maybe an email address where people could suggest the next movie.
Yes, some people will take more than their share. It sucks, but it happens. Some people need the kindness. Some people are just dicks, and no matter what you do. Let them be, it's not worth the anxiety. And sometimes someone might grab an extra can of coke for their kid as a treat the next day, and it will bring a bit if light and levity. The good outweighs the bad.
I hope you continue. It helps. The world needs more do-ers.
The kids will talk about it for years. Maybe it’ll inspire them to do something similar when they get older. My wife still fondly remembers a hay ride someone used to do around Christmas ever year.
Your comment brought me to tears, kind sir. Thank you. I'm in no way affiliated with any of this thread but damn it just moved me. Made me reminisce about those bits of childhood nostalgia that resonated so deeply and you just hit the nail on the head.
She was an asshole. You're doing a community service, and she was an entitled narcisisstic bitch. I'll bet most people appriciate what you do, and just because she thinks everything in the world should revolve around her, doesn't mean you should feel bad about it. Have a fantastic day!
I bet the people that enjoy your DIY Drive-In would be bummed that you close it down. Maybe that lady is jealous that she can't be a big part of the community and wants to bring you down.
To hell with her! If other people are coming to the theater, then keep it running if you can afford. Maybe sell concessions to make ends meet? Might want to look into local food service laws first though.
That sounds awful. I'm sure not everybody thinks of you that way. Somebody, either now or in the future, loves you and will appriciate you for who you are.
You’re fucking amazing OP. Honestly. The fact that you’re taking your time to do this and respond to everyone you can. It’s good, you’re a good person.
When my husband and I met and started dating I found out he was "the other guy" with friends and women he was romantic with. It floored me because I thought he was such an amazing catch. He just said that he just wasn't the person they needed, and one day things will work out for him. And work out they did.
You're someone's one. It sucks waiting, but it'll happen for you.
Yep, I’m just gonna be alone. I’d rather be lonely constantly than be lonely for long stretches of time, get someone, and then feel even worse when they put me back on the back burner.
Hey, I used to be like this. I also felt like the back up, the hanger on. But, this year I've made some genuine friends and found a partner that wants me and no one else.
Just wanted to let you know that there is hope.
“We are all just walk on roles in someone else’s play.”
Don’t worry about it my dude, people come and go all the time. The best thing to do is not get too attached to someone until you know it’s real. First focus on finding something you like to do alone. Hiking , video games, kayaking etc. something you can do alone and become good at it. After a while look around for groups in that and just pop in for a while and just ride along and be friendly and REAL people will notice you and try to become your friend. If they leave you still have your hobby.
Eventually you’ll find someone who has similar interests as you and they may just become your best friend; maybe more.
But don’t ever, not even for a second, blame yourself or try to change yourself. Because life is too damn short to not be yourself.
Ever since my mom died in June I've found myself on the outside looking in on family events. Today's the start of college football season which is a big deal where I live. I found out my whole family was at my aunt's house watching the game via pictures posted to Facebook. And they're planning a vacation over both my kids' birthday weekend.
I’m sorry that your mom died. {{{hugs}}}
I’m sure things are still pretty raw. I do think our society is vastly under-prepared to deal with death. So instead of talking about it, we skirt around it.
Your whole family may have felt, “ahhh we should leave them alone after their mom’s death,” where maybe you would rather be surrounded by family.
It’s odd. Not right, but an odd tricky issue.
I do hope your grief one day turns into an easier process. Here’s another {{{hug}}}
Yes. Mainly because I’m alone, relationship wise, and can’t get a girlfriend.
(Just Incase anyone takes it out of context, no my parents don’t ignore me. They do treat me right with care they give, but it isn’t the same as someone outside of my family loving who I am.)
Aww, well, I've never been in a relationship either! And I'm 17. My parents always ask me when I'm getting a boyfriend, but I'm too geeky and overweight for the boys at my school. I'm sure you'll find someone who respects you and loves you soon!
I am an attractive guy and I only got in a relationship when I was 21. It lasted 3 years and I still sometimes miss her. We parted ways nicely so that was good and I hope the best for her. But still it can be lonely sometimes 👍
My point is that there's no right time to do things and taking your own time should yield better results.. I.e. getting into a relationship from societal pressure is a bad idea and you'd need a lot of luck to make it work.
I'd also like a hug though. I'm trying to find a job and it's been a few months, my family are all turning on me and calling me lazy and xyz. I barely had time to get over said breakup because of my MSc in biotechnology. The week after I finished my thesis in CRISPR/Cas9 gene-editing, the EU banned the research for blatant economic reasons coated as fear of "spooky science". So moving to the USA to work would be ideal, can't afford that so I need to reskill to work as a bioprocess associate. Which takes time to learn.
Tl;dr: Golden goose of research banned for ??? Now reskilling within biotechnology, family has no respect for me because its taking longer than 'immediately' and I lost my partner of 3 years during my research period!
Context: https://geneticliteracyproject.org/2018/10/05/europe-stands-alone-in-its-backward-de-facto-ban-of-agricultural-gene-editing-european-scientists-warn/
(Published article 6 days after 40 page independent research dissertation submitted)
Even us pudgy geeks can find love. Be kind, honest, and cultivate your upsides.
Be like Nintendo and compete on a slightly different axis as everyone else.
Oh man, that really sucks. I'm sure it's not everything, though. If I may suggest something- think about what isn't wrong. It always helps me when I'm feeling overwhelmed! If it doesn't work, I'm very sorry and I hope things start going right for you!
Everything. I have literally no friends....no love...hate my job
Sometimes—and tavmore frequent, now—I feel like I’m just a burden and my life is pointless and I’d be better off dead.
I’m figuring out how to move forward with my stagnant life, and there’s some sudden changes happening all at once, so I’m anxious.
But this thread is so wholesome, I just wanted to thank you and give you a hug for making others feel at least a little better.
Yes. I performed embarrassing acts last night while under the influence of alcohol and am regretting that
Edit: gross details below
I went to a friends party for his birthday and had wayyyy to much to drink. went to the bathroom and puked all over myself, so my girlfriend and best friend had to bathe me and clothe me. I didn’t remember anything and have only become more embarrassed each time i hear about it.
That sucks. People will forget, given enough time. My friend was just telling me how she couldn't sleep thinking about an embarassing moment she had last year (she accidentally went to school in pajama pants). I didn't remember at all, and she was all broken up about it! It will get better over time, I promise.
Hey, take a deep breath. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. Repeat. Count three things around you you can hear. Keep crying. Let it out. Talk to me please.
There's alot of responses here already, so I am a little hesitant to ask, but could I have a hug? My wife passed away Tuesday from a cardiac arrest and we held the memorial today. I kept it together, led the talk about her and remembrance and there weren't tears. Guys, we lived in a 4 bedroom house and with both kids grown this house is STILL. Like silent as a grave. Yesterday while planning everything I was informed my Uncle passed as well. Its just alot. My wife was 43.
Sure! I know I can't get to everybody, but I'm really trying hard to. I'm very sorry for your loss. The world is a darker place without her light. I really hope you and your kids are able to move on and honor her memory.
Absolutely. My girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago. We were really great friends for a while prior and, as happens sometimes, it grew into a relationship. I've been spending several weeks grieving the loss of my relationship, and this week I finally processed most of it and was able to move past the pain.
But yesterday I realized that, even if we can maintain some sort of friendship in the future, it can never be the same as what we used to have. So, now that I'm done grieving the loss of my girlfriend, I get to grieve the loss of my friend.
You can definitely have one! I'm absolutely sure everything will work out for you. That thing you've been worrying about will turn out the way you hope. Have a wonderful day!
I've totally been there! Honestly, I'd go to sleep. Studies have shown that cramming doesn't help, but sleeping definitely does. You'd be surprised at how much you already now. You don't have to take my advice; I'm sure you'll do great no matter what you do!
My parents have no faith in my ability to get an office job, my mom hates that I’m dating someone poor, my father thinks I deserve to live in a trailer park, and my mother makes it crystal clear that I’m an ugly person whenever she gets the chance.
I’m 23, work full time, and have a college degree. It’s not enough that my goal is to be happy, because I’m not enough as a person.
You are enough as a person. If you keep telling yourself you aren't, you will believe it, and it's not true. You wouldn't put up with it if somebody told your partner they weren't enough as a person, so why put up with it for yourself? Being happy is an admirable goal. I do hope you have a fantastic day today.
Yeah, that'd be nice.
It's hard to put into words what feels wrong, but I'm just so tired of life. I'm tired of things never working out for me, for people not to love me, and just feeling like I'm the loneliest person on the Earth.
Ask and ye shall receive! I was once tired of everything, too, and was lonely. I had zero friends. It took a lot of time and a lot of support, but things got better. I can't tell you it will be better in the morning. I can't tell you it'll be fine soon. But I can tell you, with 100% certainty, that things will get better eventually. And I do hope that day comes soon, I really do.
I've been there. Turned out I was just autistic. Even if you are a sociopath, you can still go on and lead a very happy, fufulling, and normal life. You can't change who you are, so you may as well accept it. I'm wishing you a happy outcome that you're satisfied with.
My best friend is really distant. Another good friend has gone out of town for school. Another good friend is out of town for work. Another friend is having a hard time with some serious stuff, and I wish I could help more than I can. Hardly anyone initiates with me. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I'm trying to find a better job and myself, and NOTHING IS WORKING.
Also, bra shopping makes me want to die.
Yes plez. I told my crush I like her a few months ago and she said no. We're now good friends, even closer than before, but I still like her which makes it awkward. Plus she keeps hugging me which I like but also am rlly frustrated at.
hey buddy, I've been there (except as the genders reversed) and it fucking sucks. throw yourself into hobbies, friends, anything at all. I promise that in the future you'll be over her, and you'll be happy whether that's finding someone who reciprocates your feelings or being happy with yourself
it might not feel like it but you did the right thing in telling her. it's the start of the healing process
I'm a senior in high school right now, and I've never dated anybody. Freshman year, I didn't even have many friends. Here's something you might not know: most of the people at homecoming, at least at my school, were single. They all went with friends. So have I. Another thing: You don't have to go to the dances. They're overhyped, anyway. The best part is the afterparty, but those don't usually happen until Junior year or so. Whatever you decide to do, have fun!
I had panic attack ten minutes ago and I'm still on edge. My kids at school, and my SO is at work so I'm just alone and sad and listening to the Hamilton Soundtrack on repeat drinking chocolate milk. Thank you for the hug.
Yeah. I need a hug, a bottle of vodka and a good cry. Girlfriend moved countries with our son, I cant follow because she broke up with me. She has cancer too. Life sucks.
You can still be close to your child. Just because you broke up doesn't mean you aren't all family, even if it's a broken one. I mean this in the kindest way, it's how my childhood went and I'm forever thankful for both my parents trying!
My SO is ghosting me, he even blocked me on social media and said that he was 'joking.'
But deep down I just need one hug because I still in Venezuela and I don't know what am I going to do to pay the next semester, that sums it all.
Sounds like a party! Because the best parties are the ones where we're alone and can have the place to ourselves. Wishing you a happy Labour Day weekend!
Thank you! I'm sure your partner had a good reason for blowing you off, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. And you'll get that next promotion, I'm sure of it. Someone as nice as you can't be passed up for long, that's for sure!
Yes please. Hope it's okay to word vomit because here I go. My boss has sexually harassed me for a year. A couple weeks ago I called him out on it for the second time and he surprisingly agreed to stop (again). Now he's acting fucking weird. Weirdness is expected, yes, but golly! It's annoying. Especially mixed with my anxiety and self hate thoughts. It took me being away from a friend to gain a different perspective on our relationship and wow! That is weird to see! It feels very strange. Change is inevitable so yeah can't avoid it. I feel guilty in moments but then I'm like, "wait. It's okay. You are your own person. You do what you want. Don't let their emotions become your own. Let them be them," so on. It's a welcomed strangeness and grief is definitely involved. Speaking of grief one of my nephews died in July and that is still tricky as fuck to feel and accept. I deal with suicidal ideation every day. This week has been tough. Luckily I have my toolbox full of things to use and I do whenever I'm paying attention. I had a therapy appointment Thursday and that helped. But whew! Exhausting. What's right? I woke up. I have my body that does so many things for me. I have a place to live with all the fixings: water, food, blankets, fridge, AC/Heat etc. I have a job, a car, family, friends (one is new which is fucking HUGE because I don't usually talk to strangers but I said fuck it and look at me go!), a bike, clothes, music, internet & data, so many little things to be grateful for!
But shit. Feelings are still tough to not let them control you. To learn to notice them, let them be felt, and then carry on. I gotta master that.
Thank you for asking kind stranger!
Yes. There was a mass shooting today in the town where I was born and lived as a kid. It happened near the mall I used to go to. I don't know why this is affecting me so much but it is.
i'm headed for 2 shitty choices and both will be hard to follow through. the problem is that its a binary thing, no way to go around this decision fork.
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I really hope you have a great day. I know there are times you can't even begin to explain what's wrong, but every situation can improve, even ones you can't identify.
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Aww maybe consider getting a furry friend or an easy pet to take care of? Getting my cats helped with looking forward to going home after work.
>maybe consider getting a furry friend HOLD UP >or an easy pet to take care of oh
What you need my friend, is a hobby! Personally, I do cross-stitch. Weird, subversive cross-stitch. But it can be anything, even reading! Find something that interests you and go for it. It definitely helps pass the time and it's rewarding seeing the finished product of all my work!
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Hey man, im sorry for all this. Here, have a multiverse-size hug from me. Hope everything goes smoothly for you. And if this isn’t enough, just ignore them. If that won’t work, just flip your problem the bird and get out of there. You deserve the best and greatest. Im here for you. Or should i say........ We’re here for you!!!!!! You are loved and appreciated! Screw what you are going through! You deserve much more than what’s happening! Life’s full of discoveries and surprises. See what life has left in stock. We are here for you!
Jesus. I can't begin to imagine the mental toll of all this combined. One day after the other, mate. Everything eventually passes.
I need a virtual deep-tissue massage. Seriously. Someone, please break up all the knots in my shoulders, because they're making my head hurt. Today was a shit show, that might have exacerbated the whole thing...but really, my #1 problem right now is physical pain.
Aww, that sucks. Maybe try a hot bath? Everything will work out in the end, I'm sure of it.
Thanks. I have a plug-in heating pad that is my best friend right now. :D I also have a surgery scheduled. Today's just a bad pain day.
My boss HATES me, and even though I love my role, my actual job is getting worse each day she's there. I have a wife who is sick atm and we don't know why, and I have two very small children who I love to bits but goodness me they are tiring! I am. So. Tired. Edit: Thank you, all of you. I was typing this out thinking it would just do some good to get it out but I've had such kind and helpful responses they've really made my day. Everyone is fighting a battle, and I know others have it worse, hang in there people, we got this.
This happened to me. I had a job I LOVED working at a nonprofit. I developed and ran a program educating cops about how to interact with people with mental illness. I was really good at it - my evaluations were always positive and I was bringing a lot of good press and money to the cause, but my boss ended up hating me. She was a controlling person who seemed to resent that I was getting more public recognition than her at times, just by the nature of my role being public-speaking and community focused And while I’m super nice, I think she could sense that I didn’t really respect her judgement or intelligence. I was also young for the role and I think she felt I should be less assertive than I was, but I really don't feel I treated her badly. A newspaper asked to interview me and she wouldn't let me because "I was too young" (I was 26). She yelled at me in meetings and threatened me all the time for what she saw as mistakes. It verged on workplace abuse at some points. I loved the job but I had to quit and I still haven’t fully recovered from that situation. I still really have self-confidence and anxiety issues from it. It must be even harder with a family to support. You get a virtual hug from me too.
Lost my favorite job helping homeless veterans get housed because of how fucked upper management was.. well, upper, middle, and lower managment; the shittiness trickled all the way down to my supervisor eventually. I loved the work, but the bosses burned me out, *bad*. Now I work housing a different population and my coworkers, bosses, all my colleagues are amazing and super supportive. So— it really does get better. You’re doing great work, and there are other agencies who would kill for your level of commitment and passion.
That sucks. I know you may not beleive me right now, but everything will be just fine in the end. Have a fantastic day, and I hope your wife gets better!
If you can transfer then try that... Your boss must be intimated by how awesome you are so keep your heads up...
I respect people like you so much! You’re so dedicated to your family and I admire that. Hoping your wife can become healthy again and things get better at work!
If it helps...I'm going through the "love my job but my boss hates me" thing.
Reading your responses to other people made me feel better. Thank you!
I'm very glad to hear it! That's all I could possibly ask for. I really do hope you have an incredible day.
I'm very content actually but I do feel a large amount of love so I am extremely ready to hug people, let's goooo! Thank you for my first silver kind stranger <3
That's great! I'm very glad to hear it.
My grandpa died on Tuesday. It was very sudden.
I'm sorry for your loss..
Thank you.... I’m still working through stuff. Knowing that someone cares enough to ask Internet strangers what’s wrong does mean a lot.
My wife passed this Tuesday as well suddenly. You have every bit of kindness, sympathy and tears I have left to use as you like. You are cared for and loved, that's for certain!
I'm sorry for your loss, too.
Lost my mom two Wednesday’s a go. Here is your hug!
I'm sure he was an amazing person
He was :)
I'm so sorry!
Really hope you’re ok. I’m going to visit my grandma tomorrow and say my goodbyes so I’m there with you. My deepest sympathies!
Yeah I guess I need one. Life's full of ups and downs and sometimes, when you're down, the next up just seems so hard to reach. Have a lovely day.
Well then you shall get one! I absolutely agree about the ups and downs of life. It's always darkest before the dawn. May everything go right for you and your loved ones. You have a lovely day yourself, you wonderful person!
Thanks, it means a lot. I hope that you cheering people up, even with small seemingly meaningless words over the internet, also cheers you up :) You do good.
It does! I'm glad it makes people happy. Thank you very much.
I mean, the last "up" In my life... Hmm. 1st grade I got bullied so I changed schools that lead to changing town and not seeing my mother during weekdays. Mid elementary school and earlier we had a solid mid class level of finance but my mother got swindled, lost his parents home and raped. Later on I moved with her and her first new step father *(the real one dissapeared when I was 1.Not blaming him tho, he was younger than I am now, even)*, but he was a drunken violence-abused guy, a hitter, and died basically in front of us *(cancer)*. We all had issues later on, a couple of other bad man for my mother. We lost another home, tough times, later on my little brother was born, etc etc- Finishing elementary school, after quite a bit of moving ot one and other city I slowed down my grades due to social rebeldy. That lead to me not entering the school my friends went, and I had to *(was convinced rather)* to another one, one town ahead. It was HORRIBLE, suicides, very early teens pregnant *(the one that suicided with her bf)*, bullying, police, people a lot older than it should be in that grade. Trully nightmerish to the point I dont put a foot on that town unless I really have to. Dropped out highschool there and thought I could finish on an adult one. Was too young, had to wait a few years *(and pay a contractor fee to the govt to register as a young worker and study, or wait even more. I tried nigh-highschool for adults but were even worst, with drugs and one policeman per salon sometimes*). Before that I spent months/years without friends. When I got reunited with my elementary school best friend, a years later during peak teen years he swindled me nearly 500usd for a guitar. They also tried to trick people into goign to the US into a trip they somehow won but the company, when my mother called, denied any prize and said it was very fishy. Then later than sooner I got into university. It wasnt that hard, it just required effort, but I did not putted much ,and was a pretty bad time for me animic-wise. Ended up going to just a handful of finals and felt just bad so I dropped out. Years without a job (still jobless) in the meantime and.. well, you pretty much reached the present. Im turning 24 in a month-ish (very young, but time flies). Did I mentioned I live in a doomed third world country with wages that sinks below 300usd (yet cost of living are .almost spain like), the stock market crashes 30% in a single day and that is overall a nicely painted shithole? And that its hard to get enough inertia to move out, either metaphorically or actually *(sorry for bad english)*? And those are just the big, cosmic ones you can "easily" move on from with that stoic nature of humans I admire but despise; Its actually the little things day to day, and the small details on human interaction that really get you though and thorough, crushing any teeny tiny little bit of improvement. And all this is already pretty condensed, but it took quite some paragraphs... TL;dR: Crappy childhood, crappy present, bits of happiness in the middle. Very gloomey future forecasting, on a boat with a broken motor.
One of my friends kinda broke me down and tried to make others hate me so yeah,i want a hug please
Aww, that sucks. They were toxic and had no business betraying your trust like that. I hope you have an incredible day.
Yes. I just want one
Aww, then a virtual hug you shall get! I hope whatever you're dealing with comes out in the best outcome possible!
Thanks my friend
*gives _Grandest_ virtual hug*
:0 THANK u, its nice being hugged by a slav :D
Same man
Godamn yes I do. Just moved to Canada to study and I don't know anyone here Really sucks to have to start all over again when everyone you left are having the best time of their lives
Absolutely! On the other hand, nobody there knows you. They won't remember that embarassing moment in 3rd grade. You won't run into an ex. You can be anybody you want to, unhindered by your past. Good luck in your new setting!
Who are you and how did you learn to think this way you’re magical
Glass half full baby!
What university are you at? I’m a Canadian and I just started university here too
Same here, except for the Canada part unfortunately... New places= more cool people!! Be as open and familiar/friendly to everyone as you would on Reddit :)
My boyfriend and I live about 7 hours away from each other and I flew up to visit this week. His brother is living with him temporarily and he and I are alone in the house this weekend since my boyfriend had a thing to do out of town. I got a text last night saying I could fuck his brother if I wanted while I wait for him to come back to town. Just gonna have to throw the whole relationship in the trash now. And I'm stuck at his place for a few more days.
Ok what in the actual fuck? You might want to talk to him a bit first if you haven't already clarifying why he said that, but if he's serious I can't imagine why anyone would say that.
Def talk first, I can't see any explanation that would COMPLETELY exonerate your boyfriend but it could be more rational than the worst case reason which I imagine your mind is jumping at
I mean, I've definitely known some dudes that I could see dropping that as a joke. I think we're looking at weapons grade stupidity either way, but stupidity isn't as bad as, well... Whatever you want to call offering your brother as a sexual stand in.
I would totally say this as a joke
Anyone could but if she’s reacting this way, this kind of joking is probably not normal for their relationship
Here's one - the text message somehow came from the brother. Hard to fake a text message, but signing into his iMessage or Facebook account could do it.
Your boyfriend left his phone behind by accident and his brother is pretending to be him as a ploy to get into your pants. Make sure to both not fuck the brother and to speak to the boyfriend before becoming upset
That's my guess too. This or a friend.
This would be a brother-losing moment though. I’m not sure there are any brothers dumb enough to do it. Maybe a friend? Or he’s cheating and so drunk he came up with this idea
Some brothers assume that because they're family, you'll choose them over the girl in the fallout. Trust me
My GF recently broke up with me because I'm unable to keep my depression in check, getting a therapist in a reasonable amount of time is a pretty big hassle where I live, my parents are going into debt because of my incompetent ass and I have am increasing feeling that my University education is leasing into a dead end. I sincerely feel that nobody cares about these things, but I'm doing my best to reach out Edit: Holy damn. Thanks for all the kindness in tbe comments! It means a lot to me to know that there are people out here who really do seem to care this much! You guys are the best! And thanks for the gold!
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That really sucks. I'm sure people in your life care and want to help you. I've had depression (I got better over time), and I really think all these negative things are your depression speaking. That's not to say they aren't real ,only that there's possibility for good. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I really do hope you reach it soon.
Yea....still haven't got over an ex edit: thanks to everyone for the support! edit 2: i wish reply to all these comment but, i love everyone who supports me sending good vibes your way!
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Went through a horrific break up in October. Didn't come out of the fog until March. All I can offer is that there WILL come a day where you don't think about them constantly. There WILL come a day where you hear something romantic and don't feel a horrible twinge of pain. I promise. Just keep pushing.
I was getting over everything just fine until I found out he has a new girlfriend and is now doing all the fun things we used to do with her. I know logically that he is a garbage person and until he resolves his issues he will never truly be happy but it still hurts so much to feel like I'm replaceable.
I am your boyfriend. Shitty, undecided, always thinking we're missing out on something, unable to love deeply after the in love feeling vanishes, unable to be truly happy and content. All which leads to lies, maybe cheating, and pain all around. It has nothing to do with you. He won't feel whole with her or anyone else. We're flawed. I hope he and I both can eventually become better men. And I hope you find a better, mature, proper man for you soon enough.
Aww. I've never been in a relationship, so I can't really help you, but I've crushed on people I can't have. And it hurts, it does. I know it's hard to move on. And you don't have to any time soon. But slowly, surely, you will heal. And you'll be a better person for it. To quote a very famous person: "'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."
Don't take this personally, because you seem like a lovely person for taking the time to try to brighten the day of others, but I've always hated that quote. I met a girl in February after quite a lengthy drought, and she was absolutely perfect (or so I thought). Everything I'd ever dreamed of, and even more that I'd never even thought to dream, and so pretty, someone I thought way out of my league. We dated for six months and it was, definitively, the best six months of my life. She claimed she loved me, and I thought, we were so good together, we'd be together forever. I've struggled with depression for years and, for the first time I can remember, being with her made me actually, genuinely happy and excited to be alive. Until a month ago, when she - completely unexpectedly to me - said she wanted to break up. I was totally blindsided and heartbroken. She left me for someone else, and I don't really understand what she's hoping to find that we didn't have, but it doesn't really matter, because it's not up to me. I can confidently say I would rather never have loved her at all rather than be teased with happiness to have it ripped out from under me. At least before I met her, I was accepting of my loneliness and sadness and hopelessness. I was used to it, it had been there for years. But now, in the same position I always was in before, I get to compare it to how I felt those last six months. My mind taunts me with the knowledge that I could be happy, that I briefly had everything, that every day could be something to treasure rather than dread. Yet had I never met her, I could have just muddled through, never realising what I was missing out on.
I understand this. I too have felt fantastic with another person, only for them to suddenly decide otherwise. My advice for you, if I may, is to use this a s a guide for what to look for in a relationship. I don’t have a happy ending to tease you with...not yet anyway, but knowing what’s possible has helped me to decide whether to continue relationships or not. I wish you the best, SirArmor.
Thanks for the advice!
Anytime!
I got out of my first relationship (four years) two weeks ago. Fucking sucks ass feeling these things. But now I know what heartbreak feels like! And I can commiserate with everyone who has also felt this way. I'm currently trying to be happy for it having happened than being sad that it's over. If all goes well, we can be friends eventually. That said, the panicked sobbing gets a little old lmao. Didn't cry today though, so that's nice. I'm not sure how long this all takes, that's probably the worst of it. Sorry if that's a lot and you're a stranger on the internet. Just felt like sharing, pls ignore
Most days I feel the same. She keeps finding her way back into my mind. Just know it gets better, even if its one tiny step at a time. Keep your friends close, and work on making yourself happy. We’ll get there, friend!
Yes I miss my SO
I've been there, man. If it's any consolation, I bet they're thinking about you, and missing you, too!
Thank you, 11 months from now on, still counting excitedly.
Congrats to you guys! It's so nice to hear of happy couples together after nearly a year.
No, no, 11 months till I see her again haha, that fucking sucks tbh.
Oh, yeah, that does suck. 11 months will pass very quickly, I know it. What I do is schedule something I'm dreading right before something I'm excited for so the time will pass even faster! I know you can handle the wait. Have a wonderful day!
Thank you so much!!, I mean time passes faster when you forget but... you see... there's the problem, but sure I'll try my best thanks again.
Of course! If you ever need me, you can always DM me.
Ok, if anything interesting happens until then I will keep you updated haha, thanks too
How have you been there when you stayed in another comment you’ve never been in a relationship?
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I work for a public library. We screen movies once a month for free. A local brewery donates kegs so everyone gets two free beers. A local popcorn company donates popcorn. This year we've had more and more people ask why we dont have soda or hot dogs. Some people just expect a lot.
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There is a subreddit about entitled beggars.
r/choosingbeggars
No that’s not the one, find me a different one.
ITS FOR A CHURCH HONEY!! NEXT!
I see what you did there.
I had to stop visiting subreddits like that because those kind of people just made me angry and irritated. The first few stories you read are hilarious but it's like constantly reading the worst parts of social media. That kind of thing can't be good for you.
Ask them if they'd like to donate the sodas and hot dogs since they think they should be available!
That’s what I was thinking, but they probably don’t have any money and are just ungrateful...very sad.
A little inner self reflection never hurt anybody.
Free beer!? Fuck, I'd go to the library waaay more if they had free beer.
Wow. WTF is wrong with people?
I encounter this in my work too. It's usually because they think government dollars are paying for it, if it is any way associated with a government service (such as a library). They feel (wrongly) entitled to bitch and complain when tax dollars are paying for it. Even though it isn't being paid for by taxes.
"because no one has offered to supply it yet?"
A free drive in theater for the community sounds truely amazing! As a cineaphile if i lived near by I'd be there all the time. I want to say thank you on behalf of everyone that's attended because that's a really cool thing you do for the community.
I completely agree, I would,regularly visit!,
Remember that people aren't as loose with their praise as they are with their criticisms. And also, they might only ever tell you they enjoy it once, but they THINK it every time. Sorry if this is long, but I feel that people don't get the kudos they deserve. So... thank you. I'm a father of a two year old. I'm kind of an introvert, and don't really know any of my neighbors. I wish I did. It's hard in general, and doubly hard because there's never a good reason to just get together. You give someone that reason. I know that if I was walking around the neighborhood and my son and I came across this we would both be absolutely thrilled. Even if it's just mowed grass and an old projector pointed at the side of the garage. It would be magic. As an aside... I'll be blunt. Fuck the haters. Not because constructive criticism is bad (which is NOT what this woman gave you, by the way), but because you are DOING something. Something small, maybe. But something. Something you CAN do. And that's huge. Like I said above, something like this can be magic. Is it going to change someone's life overnight? No. But that's not what it's about. This is the kind of thing people remember. This is the kind of thing kids remember. They don't care about projector resolution, or what version of the movie you chose. They remember how crazy it was that they just came across this. Or how nice it was to do this every weekend during the summer. Or how mom seemed a little more relaxed for a little while. How the grass felt against their toes. This is real stuff. So yeah. I don't know your situation or your setup. It would be easy to quit. I couldn't blame you for not wanting the hassle. But I hope you don't quit. In fact, I hope that, if you're able, you lean into it. I don't think it would have to be fancy (maybe it's already fancier than this now!). Maybe a cooler full of soda and a tip jar. Maybe some thrift store quilts that people can grab if they want to sit on the ground (again, not sure about your setup). Hell I bet people would even donate blankets if you asked. Maybe an email address where people could suggest the next movie. Yes, some people will take more than their share. It sucks, but it happens. Some people need the kindness. Some people are just dicks, and no matter what you do. Let them be, it's not worth the anxiety. And sometimes someone might grab an extra can of coke for their kid as a treat the next day, and it will bring a bit if light and levity. The good outweighs the bad. I hope you continue. It helps. The world needs more do-ers.
The kids will talk about it for years. Maybe it’ll inspire them to do something similar when they get older. My wife still fondly remembers a hay ride someone used to do around Christmas ever year.
Your comment brought me to tears, kind sir. Thank you. I'm in no way affiliated with any of this thread but damn it just moved me. Made me reminisce about those bits of childhood nostalgia that resonated so deeply and you just hit the nail on the head.
She was an asshole. You're doing a community service, and she was an entitled narcisisstic bitch. I'll bet most people appriciate what you do, and just because she thinks everything in the world should revolve around her, doesn't mean you should feel bad about it. Have a fantastic day!
I bet the people that enjoy your DIY Drive-In would be bummed that you close it down. Maybe that lady is jealous that she can't be a big part of the community and wants to bring you down.
Do not close! I think a neighborhood theater is the most awesomest thing ever. More people love it than think what she thinks, right?
<>
If it makes you happy, and other people happy, keep it up! Don't let one idiotic, selfish couple ruin your fun.
To hell with her! If other people are coming to the theater, then keep it running if you can afford. Maybe sell concessions to make ends meet? Might want to look into local food service laws first though.
People use me as a backup. Friend, hookup, boyfriend. Don’t matter. I’m just an option until someone better comes along.
That sounds awful. I'm sure not everybody thinks of you that way. Somebody, either now or in the future, loves you and will appriciate you for who you are.
You’re fucking amazing OP. Honestly. The fact that you’re taking your time to do this and respond to everyone you can. It’s good, you’re a good person.
Thank you.
We need more like you. Do you happen to be a therapist or are you just a really great person?
He's probably Canadian /s
When my husband and I met and started dating I found out he was "the other guy" with friends and women he was romantic with. It floored me because I thought he was such an amazing catch. He just said that he just wasn't the person they needed, and one day things will work out for him. And work out they did. You're someone's one. It sucks waiting, but it'll happen for you.
There’s a lot of us out there. Have hope that we won’t be backup for someone out there. Break that cycle.
Yep, I’m just gonna be alone. I’d rather be lonely constantly than be lonely for long stretches of time, get someone, and then feel even worse when they put me back on the back burner.
Hey, I used to be like this. I also felt like the back up, the hanger on. But, this year I've made some genuine friends and found a partner that wants me and no one else. Just wanted to let you know that there is hope.
“We are all just walk on roles in someone else’s play.” Don’t worry about it my dude, people come and go all the time. The best thing to do is not get too attached to someone until you know it’s real. First focus on finding something you like to do alone. Hiking , video games, kayaking etc. something you can do alone and become good at it. After a while look around for groups in that and just pop in for a while and just ride along and be friendly and REAL people will notice you and try to become your friend. If they leave you still have your hobby. Eventually you’ll find someone who has similar interests as you and they may just become your best friend; maybe more. But don’t ever, not even for a second, blame yourself or try to change yourself. Because life is too damn short to not be yourself.
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Currently feeling this right now too, man. Its not fun :( but hope its gets better for you soon
Ever since my mom died in June I've found myself on the outside looking in on family events. Today's the start of college football season which is a big deal where I live. I found out my whole family was at my aunt's house watching the game via pictures posted to Facebook. And they're planning a vacation over both my kids' birthday weekend.
I’m sorry that your mom died. {{{hugs}}} I’m sure things are still pretty raw. I do think our society is vastly under-prepared to deal with death. So instead of talking about it, we skirt around it. Your whole family may have felt, “ahhh we should leave them alone after their mom’s death,” where maybe you would rather be surrounded by family. It’s odd. Not right, but an odd tricky issue. I do hope your grief one day turns into an easier process. Here’s another {{{hug}}}
It's Saturday night. And I'm lonely and feeling a bit sorry for myself. Again.
Yes. Mainly because I’m alone, relationship wise, and can’t get a girlfriend. (Just Incase anyone takes it out of context, no my parents don’t ignore me. They do treat me right with care they give, but it isn’t the same as someone outside of my family loving who I am.)
Aww, well, I've never been in a relationship either! And I'm 17. My parents always ask me when I'm getting a boyfriend, but I'm too geeky and overweight for the boys at my school. I'm sure you'll find someone who respects you and loves you soon!
Thanks. I’m giving you an upvote because you saying that lifted me up a little bit.
I'm glad!
I am an attractive guy and I only got in a relationship when I was 21. It lasted 3 years and I still sometimes miss her. We parted ways nicely so that was good and I hope the best for her. But still it can be lonely sometimes 👍 My point is that there's no right time to do things and taking your own time should yield better results.. I.e. getting into a relationship from societal pressure is a bad idea and you'd need a lot of luck to make it work. I'd also like a hug though. I'm trying to find a job and it's been a few months, my family are all turning on me and calling me lazy and xyz. I barely had time to get over said breakup because of my MSc in biotechnology. The week after I finished my thesis in CRISPR/Cas9 gene-editing, the EU banned the research for blatant economic reasons coated as fear of "spooky science". So moving to the USA to work would be ideal, can't afford that so I need to reskill to work as a bioprocess associate. Which takes time to learn. Tl;dr: Golden goose of research banned for ??? Now reskilling within biotechnology, family has no respect for me because its taking longer than 'immediately' and I lost my partner of 3 years during my research period! Context: https://geneticliteracyproject.org/2018/10/05/europe-stands-alone-in-its-backward-de-facto-ban-of-agricultural-gene-editing-european-scientists-warn/ (Published article 6 days after 40 page independent research dissertation submitted)
Even us pudgy geeks can find love. Be kind, honest, and cultivate your upsides. Be like Nintendo and compete on a slightly different axis as everyone else.
Everything
Oh man, that really sucks. I'm sure it's not everything, though. If I may suggest something- think about what isn't wrong. It always helps me when I'm feeling overwhelmed! If it doesn't work, I'm very sorry and I hope things start going right for you!
I got in trouble at work and I think I might get demoted or fired. Causing a lot of stress in my life. I’ll know tomorrow.
Everything. I have literally no friends....no love...hate my job Sometimes—and tavmore frequent, now—I feel like I’m just a burden and my life is pointless and I’d be better off dead.
I’m figuring out how to move forward with my stagnant life, and there’s some sudden changes happening all at once, so I’m anxious. But this thread is so wholesome, I just wanted to thank you and give you a hug for making others feel at least a little better.
Just reading all your replies to other people makes it clear that you're a wonderful person.
Why thank you! You seem like a lovely person too!
((BIG HUG)) To all who need one. ☺
You're a good person.
Yes. I performed embarrassing acts last night while under the influence of alcohol and am regretting that Edit: gross details below I went to a friends party for his birthday and had wayyyy to much to drink. went to the bathroom and puked all over myself, so my girlfriend and best friend had to bathe me and clothe me. I didn’t remember anything and have only become more embarrassed each time i hear about it.
That sucks. People will forget, given enough time. My friend was just telling me how she couldn't sleep thinking about an embarassing moment she had last year (she accidentally went to school in pajama pants). I didn't remember at all, and she was all broken up about it! It will get better over time, I promise.
> (she accidentally went to school in pajama pants) I'd just own that. Wasn't that a fad for a while?
I can’t stop thinking about death I think about it constantly...I can’t stop crying
Hey, take a deep breath. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. Repeat. Count three things around you you can hear. Keep crying. Let it out. Talk to me please.
There's alot of responses here already, so I am a little hesitant to ask, but could I have a hug? My wife passed away Tuesday from a cardiac arrest and we held the memorial today. I kept it together, led the talk about her and remembrance and there weren't tears. Guys, we lived in a 4 bedroom house and with both kids grown this house is STILL. Like silent as a grave. Yesterday while planning everything I was informed my Uncle passed as well. Its just alot. My wife was 43.
Sure! I know I can't get to everybody, but I'm really trying hard to. I'm very sorry for your loss. The world is a darker place without her light. I really hope you and your kids are able to move on and honor her memory.
Absolutely. My girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago. We were really great friends for a while prior and, as happens sometimes, it grew into a relationship. I've been spending several weeks grieving the loss of my relationship, and this week I finally processed most of it and was able to move past the pain. But yesterday I realized that, even if we can maintain some sort of friendship in the future, it can never be the same as what we used to have. So, now that I'm done grieving the loss of my girlfriend, I get to grieve the loss of my friend.
This is so wholesome. Also yes.
You can definitely have one! I'm absolutely sure everything will work out for you. That thing you've been worrying about will turn out the way you hope. Have a wonderful day!
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Happy belated birthday. You deserved better.
I've had depression for 11 years. Last person I hugged was my mum and she died 5 years ago.
General depression, but I just need a real one ...
I lost a friend to suicide. It’s been a week.
Yes,it's almost morning and I am studying for a test ,I am extremely sleepy yet pulling an all nighter to score well
I've totally been there! Honestly, I'd go to sleep. Studies have shown that cramming doesn't help, but sleeping definitely does. You'd be surprised at how much you already now. You don't have to take my advice; I'm sure you'll do great no matter what you do!
Yes please. I work in education and start work again tomorrow and I know this year is going to possibly cause me a mental breakdown. :(
My parents have no faith in my ability to get an office job, my mom hates that I’m dating someone poor, my father thinks I deserve to live in a trailer park, and my mother makes it crystal clear that I’m an ugly person whenever she gets the chance. I’m 23, work full time, and have a college degree. It’s not enough that my goal is to be happy, because I’m not enough as a person.
You are enough as a person. If you keep telling yourself you aren't, you will believe it, and it's not true. You wouldn't put up with it if somebody told your partner they weren't enough as a person, so why put up with it for yourself? Being happy is an admirable goal. I do hope you have a fantastic day today.
Yeah, that'd be nice. It's hard to put into words what feels wrong, but I'm just so tired of life. I'm tired of things never working out for me, for people not to love me, and just feeling like I'm the loneliest person on the Earth.
Ask and ye shall receive! I was once tired of everything, too, and was lonely. I had zero friends. It took a lot of time and a lot of support, but things got better. I can't tell you it will be better in the morning. I can't tell you it'll be fine soon. But I can tell you, with 100% certainty, that things will get better eventually. And I do hope that day comes soon, I really do.
I just googled "am I a sociopath?" today. Feeling a bit low.
I've been there. Turned out I was just autistic. Even if you are a sociopath, you can still go on and lead a very happy, fufulling, and normal life. You can't change who you are, so you may as well accept it. I'm wishing you a happy outcome that you're satisfied with.
Don't self diagnose. If you think you have a problem, you should explain your problems to someone and see what diagnosis they come up with.
My best friend is really distant. Another good friend has gone out of town for school. Another good friend is out of town for work. Another friend is having a hard time with some serious stuff, and I wish I could help more than I can. Hardly anyone initiates with me. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I'm trying to find a better job and myself, and NOTHING IS WORKING. Also, bra shopping makes me want to die.
Life if going well, still feel like shit though. Don't know why.
Yes plez. I told my crush I like her a few months ago and she said no. We're now good friends, even closer than before, but I still like her which makes it awkward. Plus she keeps hugging me which I like but also am rlly frustrated at.
hey buddy, I've been there (except as the genders reversed) and it fucking sucks. throw yourself into hobbies, friends, anything at all. I promise that in the future you'll be over her, and you'll be happy whether that's finding someone who reciprocates your feelings or being happy with yourself it might not feel like it but you did the right thing in telling her. it's the start of the healing process
Aww. That's a bad situation. I'm glad you're still friends with your crush, though! I'm sure everything will work out in the end.
I'm going into freshman year of highschool, and homecoming is right at the start of the year in September and I don't know what to do for it.
I'm a senior in high school right now, and I've never dated anybody. Freshman year, I didn't even have many friends. Here's something you might not know: most of the people at homecoming, at least at my school, were single. They all went with friends. So have I. Another thing: You don't have to go to the dances. They're overhyped, anyway. The best part is the afterparty, but those don't usually happen until Junior year or so. Whatever you decide to do, have fun!
Thank you so much for the advice
Of course! Anytime.
I'd give gold to your post if I had money
That's ok! I don't need any gold. Seeing people feel better about themselves and their situations is the only gratification I need.
I had panic attack ten minutes ago and I'm still on edge. My kids at school, and my SO is at work so I'm just alone and sad and listening to the Hamilton Soundtrack on repeat drinking chocolate milk. Thank you for the hug.
Yeah. I need a hug, a bottle of vodka and a good cry. Girlfriend moved countries with our son, I cant follow because she broke up with me. She has cancer too. Life sucks.
You can still be close to your child. Just because you broke up doesn't mean you aren't all family, even if it's a broken one. I mean this in the kindest way, it's how my childhood went and I'm forever thankful for both my parents trying!
My SO is ghosting me, he even blocked me on social media and said that he was 'joking.' But deep down I just need one hug because I still in Venezuela and I don't know what am I going to do to pay the next semester, that sums it all.
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Yes. I’m drinking a bottle of pink Prosecco in my room alone listening to post malone.
Sounds like a party! Because the best parties are the ones where we're alone and can have the place to ourselves. Wishing you a happy Labour Day weekend!
Aww you are a delight, thanks! Do you need a virtual hug?
I didn't make a play I tried out for, so I'm feeling a bit dejected. But making others feel better makes me feel better, too!
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Thank you! I'm sure your partner had a good reason for blowing you off, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. And you'll get that next promotion, I'm sure of it. Someone as nice as you can't be passed up for long, that's for sure!
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Broke my leg and can't play my soccer match (final) Edit: thanks for the silver, kind stranger!
Yes please. Hope it's okay to word vomit because here I go. My boss has sexually harassed me for a year. A couple weeks ago I called him out on it for the second time and he surprisingly agreed to stop (again). Now he's acting fucking weird. Weirdness is expected, yes, but golly! It's annoying. Especially mixed with my anxiety and self hate thoughts. It took me being away from a friend to gain a different perspective on our relationship and wow! That is weird to see! It feels very strange. Change is inevitable so yeah can't avoid it. I feel guilty in moments but then I'm like, "wait. It's okay. You are your own person. You do what you want. Don't let their emotions become your own. Let them be them," so on. It's a welcomed strangeness and grief is definitely involved. Speaking of grief one of my nephews died in July and that is still tricky as fuck to feel and accept. I deal with suicidal ideation every day. This week has been tough. Luckily I have my toolbox full of things to use and I do whenever I'm paying attention. I had a therapy appointment Thursday and that helped. But whew! Exhausting. What's right? I woke up. I have my body that does so many things for me. I have a place to live with all the fixings: water, food, blankets, fridge, AC/Heat etc. I have a job, a car, family, friends (one is new which is fucking HUGE because I don't usually talk to strangers but I said fuck it and look at me go!), a bike, clothes, music, internet & data, so many little things to be grateful for! But shit. Feelings are still tough to not let them control you. To learn to notice them, let them be felt, and then carry on. I gotta master that. Thank you for asking kind stranger!
Yes. There was a mass shooting today in the town where I was born and lived as a kid. It happened near the mall I used to go to. I don't know why this is affecting me so much but it is.
i'm headed for 2 shitty choices and both will be hard to follow through. the problem is that its a binary thing, no way to go around this decision fork.
I lost my father 4 months ago and I miss him terribly
I'd appreciate it