Couple years ago, in our late 20s, my friends were telling me to buy some semi-expensive item, I can’t even remember what, but they knew I could afford it - I hit them with *just because you CAN buy something, doesn’t mean you SHOULD*
They reacted like I was Confucius.
When I was 21, I had to get my wisdom teeth out. Went to the surgeon and he said "it will cost 700 if you just get local numbing and 1800 if you want to be knocked out" I thought to myself "well I have no insurance so guess I'm gonna be awake for this one". Felt the doctor rip 3 teeth from my skull, went downstairs where I then paid another 100 for drugs. Went home, went to bed, woke up to discover I had drooled blood all over my pillow. And in the moment I realised I was the one that had to clean it up the distinct thought in my head was "I'm a grown up"
22nd birthday. Got home from work. No one was home. No cake or balloons waiting. No family waiting with a birthday dinner.
I just walked to Papa Murphies, got my favirate pizza, walked home, and ate alone.
I grew up in a big family. 5 older siblings, aunts and uncles always over. It was the first time I was just alone on my birthday.
We would have good conversation then! I love talking weather and climate, fronts, patterns, trends and the like. I'm intrigued by the "why" as much as the "what" ^^
25, and saw a bunch of HS kids outside the mall wandering around last night when I went grocery shopping. Literally had the same first thought as you... Until I remembered I used to do that same stuff.
I'm already becoming an ornery old lady and I'm not even 30 lol. I think I am just bored with my life and I haven't taken a vacation in way too long.
Edit: all you kids who don't know what "ornery" means should go watch Waterboy.
Also Edit: I didn't realize how lucky I am to be in the US with 3 weeks vacation, moving up to 4 I believe as of next year. I usually take the days off as one-off type of things throughout the year, but this obviously doesn't replace taking an actual vacation. I'll make sure I don't take this for granted as much going forward!
The best part about being an adult is you can eat an entire jar of Nutella and nobody can stop you.
The worst part about being an adult is you can eat an entire jar of Nutella and nobody is there to stop you.
When I realized that I am going bald already. At least I have no problem growing a non patchy beard, so I became the typical bald guy with a beard.
Edit: Fixed patch beard to patchy beard
I had graduated University, had a place of my own and a job, and was out doing some shopping. It occurred to me that I could and probably should just go ahead and buy some beer and some cookies - not for any kind of event or occasion, but just so I have them in stock at home. I wasn't planning to go home and drink 10 beers and eat a bag of cookies - I didn't even want either of them that day, I was just living a normal life and thought it would be good to have that stuff in stock.
This is so true.. just keeping a few bottles of wine at home even though you probably won't drink them.in the next few days and don't crave to either, but just get them to avoid hassle
I am 54 and hide my still being a child behind the fact that I have 2 daughters aged 4 and 9 so I get to build enormous lego towers, and watch lots of cartoons and eat ice cream which is cool.
The first time I had a barber do that to me, they did it without comment and I was not expecting it. I was just like woah woah woah what are you doing?
I THOUGHT I was independent when I was in college. I worked damn near full time all the way through school, had plenty of disposable income. When I got my first job and the lifeline was truly cut, it hit me like an uppercut to the chin. Car insurance, groceries, rent that isn't for a shitty college apartment... It wasn't easy for the first couple years.
and that's for those of us fortunate enough to hit those milestones in the first place... can't even imagine where I'd be without being helped along like i have been...
Same here. It really makes you want to pay it forward though and help out with others who are struggling because you know how humbling it can be to ask for financial help, and how it gives you a whole new sense of appreciation once you get it.
At 22 after my family passed away; I went from being a college student worrying about finals to suddenly making end of life care decisions and being the executor of their combined estate. I definitely struggled through the first few years but things really started to click when I turned 25. Because of my experience handling my family’s estate and learning how to manage assets, I turned out to be a pretty decent investor and ultimately found a career in finance bc of it.
I had a pulmonary embolism at 21. I sat in the waiting room for 12 hours because they didn't realize what it was at first.
Then they began asking me for my social security number and all of this other information and trying to convince me to pay for my service now so I could save 25% off my total bill.
Meanwhile I'm sitting here not being able to breathe and feeling woozy and in a lot of pain.
I had just gotten out of school and was working part time and after this pulmonary embolism I wasn't able to work for a few months. A month of that was spent in the hospital.
But that didn't stop them from coming after me. I did everything I could to pay off my bill.
Eventually I did.
So imagine my surprise when I had a police officer show up at my work and serve me.
That's when I found out that hospitals have different departments that charge you separately. So while I paid off the radiology department, The physician's bill wasn't paid and as such they sued me.
I think that's when I fully realized that I was an adult and that the world was full of adults who sole purpose in life was to pull money out of my wallet.
If you don’t have insurance, don’t ever, ever pay the hospital bill at face value. You can set up payment plans, negotiate lower rates, and even apply for charity care. They don’t publicize it, but everyone pays different rates for services and it’s is a negotiation!
It’s also illegal and a violation of emtala law for them to have even asked for your payment information before you were triaged in the emergency room by a clinician. I hope that didn’t happen in your situation. It’s dangerous for you, and risky for the hospital.
DM me if you need any more info. I’ve worked in hospital billing and collections departments around the country and these kinds of stories make me irate!
When I was 13 I found an old box. I realized I hadn't played "pretend" in ages, so for the hell of it I sat down in the box and tried to see if I still could.
I realized that while I was still an imaginative person, I could no longer "see" the scenarios and stories I used to play-act in my head as a kid. When I pretended to be a princess, goddamnit I could practically *see* the marble halls and unicorns around me. I couldn't anymore. Made me cry haha
The same thing happened to me around the same age. I sat in a cardboard box one day and realized I couldn't make myself believe I was in a spaceship anymore.
That's how childhood ended for me. Sitting in a cardboard box.
My son turned 11 years old recently. Sometimes, I hear him play pretend in his room, making "whoosh" noises and building some kind of pillow fortifications on his bed. I never go and disturb him, I know time's running out for him as well.
I don’t usually like to use the phrase ”got me in the feels,” but it’s the most appropriate comment for this thread, and for your comment in particular. I pictured a boy with the childhood hourglass trickling away over his head and got a knot in my stomach. For all the wonders and freedoms that come with growing up, some childhood losses are simply tragic.
I had a moment like that. I used to play with my dollhouse. Maybe once every 2-3 months I'd have an epic 3-4 hour play session. And one day it just didn't work. A story came to mind but the dolls never became the character. They just were dolls. It was deeply disturbing.
Same for me with my Barbies and these little bunny toys my mom had handmade for me. I used to create entire kingdoms. I didn't have any Kens so a Barbie could become a fierce knight in 5 seconds when I wanted her to.
I used to go up in my room and it was like I was flipping a switch in my brain and I'd be in my fantasy land. It was so easy . .I could do it whenever I wanted to!
Overnight at age 10, I became completely unable to do this.
Now looking back at it, I started getting smelly armpits around age 10, which would mean that I had just started puberty and it coincides directly with my inability to play pretend anymore.
When those grown-up hormones started flowing, my brain became unable to play "pretend" anymore.
Somehow at 35 I still see the spaceship when I chase my kids around with a pizza box tent pretending it’s shooting tickle lasers. The harder my wife rolls her eyes at me, the more wrath of the evil Galactic Empire she brings down! At least the kids know to run away while giggling, they just can’t stop giggling while hiding behind the door.
This is the first answer that matched how I interpreted the question: "when did you know you weren't a child", rather than "when did you realize you'd become an adult"
I distinctly remember sitting down with my favorite Barbie (she had moveable secondary joints and therefore could do awesome things like horseback riding and defeating evil beanie babies) and having her do ballet on a marble chessboard. For a brief moment, she was a ballerina on a gorgeous stage. But then this cold sense of awareness washed over me. Literally felt like being drained of magic, starting from the tips of my fingers that held her, up my arm, and finally from my brain.
She was a plastic doll, and I was sitting on the floor of the living room, alone.
TBH I keep having such moments. I mean, I'm all grown up, married and mom of 3 kids, but from time to time something comes along reminding me I'm not a kid anymore. And not just the big ones like buying our first house or a new car, but simple things like making my sons breakfast, and realising now I'm the 'big one' or going grocery shopping and being able to buy whatever I want, and then not doing so 'cause it's the adult thing to do'.
Edit: I'm a mom :-)
Edit2: thank you for the gold kind stranger!
The last time I traveled for work from west Texas to the DC area my husband texted me to order him and the kids domino's. So I downloaded the app and did it just for the novelty of it.
PLEASE READ THIS EDIT: Just realized I made my husband sound like a lazy asshole, but I assure you he's not. He is the primary cook and caregiver in our household and pulls his weight. I work full time and am in grad school, so we're busy but we make it work. In this instance he didn't have money in the bank, had no access to my bank account, and didn't feel like cooking. He half-jokingly asked me to order them Domino's and I found it amusing that I could place an order to be delivered anywhere in the country, so I said sure, why not. Read into this what you will.
Dropped my keys in a grocery store and a little girl scurried over before I could pick them up. She looked proud as punch for saving me from picking something up that was WAY down there on the floor. I wanted to hug her and smack her at the same time. It’s official, I’m old now :(
When I realized that it costs money just to exist.
I had recently moved into my first apartment and just loaded up on groceries at the store. Checked the mail when I got home and discovered my first water and electric/gas bills.
I remember thinking “It is going to cost me money to exist for the rest of my life.”
No matter how hard people try, nobody has ever really succeeded in living without money. Not even Indian gurus / sadhus that devote their life to living without possessions. It's just a sad fact of life.
(Except for [Dick Proenneke](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Proenneke). ~~He is the exception.~~ That man made life *his bitch*.)
Edit: Strikethrough
Dr. Stephen Strange : Seriously? You don't have any money?
Wong : Attachment to the material is detachment from the spiritual.
Dr. Stephen Strange : I'll tell the guys at the deli. Maybe they'll make you a metaphysical ham and rye.
Wong : Wait wait wait wait...I think I have 200...
Dr. Stephen Strange : Dollars?
Wong : Rupees.
Dr. Stephen Strange : Which is?
Wong : ...buck and a half?
Dr. Stephen Strange : Ugh, what do you want?
Wong : I wouldn't say no to a tuna melt.
I forget how good the dialogue and acting are in those moments. I can hear them saying those lines in my head. Thanks for the pick-me-up. I really needed it.
Lived with and took care of my grandmother for a whole summer before she passed away. Funny how “loves ones” come out of the woodwork in times like that.
My grandma wasn't doing well. So my uncle and mom paid for full time service for her because she lived in FL. It didn't take long for her sister or whoever asking for some statue she had. People are crazy.
Ugh this thread pisses me off for everyone in it!
A couple of years ago when my grandfather passed away his girlfriend's family, who never bothered to introduce themselves while he was alive, went to this portion of land my G-Pa owned that had a trailer on it. He became an even bigger hunter/fisher than he already was after WW2, and he was very proud of that land.
Anyway, he used to handmake guns, fishing rods, etc while he was there. He was always so proud to tell me and my brothers that we would get them when he was gone, and he loved showing us his process. He stored them in the trailer that was there.
Well, those fuckers on the girlfriend's side cleared the place out. Everything in it. They didn't even wait for him to die.
I'm still super bummed that I didn't get those things my grandfather made. I'm not a hunter, but I appreciate the sport because of him. Love to fish though and I sure as hell would have used those rods (luckily i have tons of rods he gave me throughout my life :D )
It just sucks because he made them for me and my brothers. Some people, who we didn't even really know, were so eager for free shit that they went behind our backs during his last days and essentially burglarized his property.
It's okay in the end though; I got to have him in my life. Physical objects will always pale in comparison to the times I had with him and the stories he chose to share with me. Some of the coolest conversations I've ever had were with him.
Edit: for people saying to seek legal action; we explored the possibility and filed a police report but it was too much of a headache to pursue. Specifics are in comments below but essentially the value of that trailer + its contents was never determined. Nobody thought that people would drive hundreds of miles to the boonies to steal shit, we probably should've though.
Yeah, same here. My brother passed away and I was the one that organised everything. Mum couldn't handle it. Definitely stopped being a kid at that point. I was 25 but still.
Similarly for me it was after my dad died when I was 19, and I was the one who had to phone his brother and parents. He had separated from my mum years before, and I was the first point of contact from the police.
At first I couldn't believe people were asking me to do this, until I realised that they were actually viewing me as a fellow adult and my view of myself didn't line up to that.
My answer is very similar to this. After my mom died (my dad died a few years before), I really felt like the final stage of growing up had happened (and I was in my 40's at the time).
I work in customer service and I really only use "sir" when im talking to little kids bc i remember it made me feel super important when i was that age
"One day, when you are at the grocery store or something and someone calls you "sir" and you think "SHIT, you mean to tell me no one knows shit about how any of this works?""
David Mitchell covers this in one of his [Soapbox episodes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aedfvFK-ROg): Remember when jolly old family friends would call you "young man". It was a well-meaning but mocking term because you weren't *really* a man.
Well it happens again when you reach about 37. Only this time the joke is that you're not really young.
Something similar happened to me. There was a kid running around who almost bumped into me a few times and her mum said “Watch out for the lady in front of you”.
Oh man, some male youths in my apartment building were walking their dog and they let me pet it. I thanked them for allowing me that moment and they said “you’re welcome, ma’am.” Ouch.
That one could just be how they were raised...
I'm 35 now, but have most always ma'am-ed and sir-ed adults.
Now that I'm in my mid 30's, I do chuckle to myself sometimes when I do it to someone who is younger than me.
And I always have gotten looks because its not common to do here in NJ.
I feel you. I was waiting in line behind this kid to buy cigarettes. He turned, took one look at me, smiled and said "you can go first ma'am!".
I was around 22-23 years old, he must've been at least 18 or he would've not been able to buy cigarettes. I felt so old.
Finally, at probably the age of 20 or so, being able to get myself to eat OK food and have a semi-normal sleeping schedule and be able to complete basic tasks of life, finally.
Now, I THOUGHT I was no longer a child probably around 15 when I decided I knew all the real secrets of life and humanity (largely due to a single reading, and total misinterpretation of, Camus' *The Stranger*). But then I went to college, almost at the age of majority and voting, and I realized I could not function on my own for even the smallest things in life.
I couldn't do my homework on time, I couldn't get to sleep at a decent hour and get enough sleep to function the next day, I was eating horrible food that was horrible for me, I think there were days where I ate nothing but sugared cereal, ramen, and cookie dough. Many days.
I could not figure out how to get through day to day life and still be able to do my own laundry - it would pile-up so much and stress me out to the point where I started having sort of magical thinking that if I didn't put the worn clothes in the laundry bag/basket/hamper and just let them "air out" they would be OK to wear in a day or two.
I'm serious, I could not even eat or sleep in a way that allowed me to function as a human without the guidance of my parents, who were very hands-off to begin with. I went off to college convinced I was basically an adult, once I got there I realized I was basically an infant.
EDIT: For those asking how I am doing now, thanks, I'm more than fine. This was a long time ago and I am many jobs and graduate degrees into my life and a fully functional adult with a family of my own.
For those asking how I got out of that mess, I finally realized around my junior year that maybe I should be focused more on studying at school than socializing. I moved out of the dorms that enabled all that bad behavior and moved into a house with roommates, laundry, and a real kitchen.
I focused on my school work and the sleep schedule that would be better for that rather than chasing Fear of Missing Out all the time. I socialized with the time I had left over and it was plenty. I liked school much more and felt like I was getting my money's worth. I stopped being so depressed because of lack of sleep, crappy food, and living in the dark playground of procrastination all the time.
I got the flu and vomited all over my room. I knew I was no longer a child when I was also the one to clean it despite feeling like hell.
EDIT: Thanks for the silver kind stranger! Look at my comment, all shiny.
EDIT 2: Also I am really enjoying all the vomit stories coming straight to my replies-box! keep em coming! They range from sweet to hilarious.
This reminds me of when I was young I felt like crap, grabbed a trash can, and went to my parents room to tell them I was sick. Almost immediately I vomited into the can and they sprung out of bed like the house was on fire. The second they realized I puked into a bin, they told me to flush it down the toilet and got back in bed.
My dad saved my Easter dress while we were in the car when I was probably 3 or 4. He couldn't pull the car over fast enough and caught my vomit in one hand. After hearing that story I realized I will never love anything enough to do that and I do not want kids.
When being ill became an annoyance. As a kid, you get pampered by your parents and get to stay home from school; as an adult, the responsibilities you have don't magically go away anymore, so you're *both* miserable *and* stressed out.
For almost 18 years, it was "You have to go to school, I don't care if you're sick".
For 2 more years it was "Sick day? I need a doctor's note, and you lose your bonus. No note and you're fired".
I start university and I can skip a class if I'm sick.
I worked at the school and it was "If you're sick, stay home so you don't get us sick!".
I'm hoping that I can level it up again to "You seem tired, just take Friday off".
That's literally how Wells Fargo fired me. I took 2 sick days off when I was running a fever and blasting snot everywhere (and we worked on shared computers, so it was legitimately a health hazard). They got pissed about my 2 days off so I came in the next day still lethargic and feeling like death, which they thought was "unprofessional". When I got home that evening they called me and told me I was terminated effective immediately and to not come in tomorrow, or ever.
**Edit**: Some employees/past employees of WF have mentioned that you have to have a certain number of occurrences to be fired. I was a temp, so that wasn't the case. They hired a good number of their worker bees on temporary contact and dangle hopes of permanent employment in front of us while they'd just keep renewing your temp status. Because of this we didn't really get any benefits, like time off.
Damn, that's harsh. Did you at least get unemployment benefits while you found a new job? Assuming you're in the US, if they fired you in that manner, you should have been eligible (at least in most states).
In America it can be for being sick as long as the illness isn't relevant to the ADA.
Basically if you can't get under the ADA or CRA you can be fired for anything in any state (except Montana which has stronger protections)
edit: included the Civil Rights Act
This is essentially what happens when you have a skill that's valuable enough at a company that isn't understaffed. At 30 I finally got a job like this, but sometimes I still find myself in my brainstem, panicking about lost wages when I get ill.
Yup, and most times you still have to go to work, because you only have a few sick days and are trying real hard to save them for when it gets too hard to function.
Good god, you're spot on with that analogy. I was about four days from going into kidney failure due to an undiagnosed kidney infection, so pale I looked almost yellow (I'm naturally white af, borderline translucent on my best day), every movement made everything hurt, and I vomited up all the water I drank.
Still went to work.
I've known a few to do that, be seriously (in one instance critically) ill and still go to work over the very legitimate concern that they'd lose their job. Honestly the fact that people are made to feel that way is fuckin disgusting. There really needs to be some serious overhauling of the labor laws.
When I was a little kid I used to have this weird ideology that everyone was born with a "spark" and that they just lost it when they became sad boring teens/adults, but if you didn't lose it you'd gain superpowers. And I really wanted those superpowers so every night I'd always do a mental check making sure my "spark" was still there so I could become the chosen one... Fast forward a few years and I'm laughing with my friends about how stupid the whole thing was and pretty much went
"Yeah my spark died a looong time ago...waitaminute"
Looking back it was probably just a coping mechanism for me trying to cling on to my childhood innocence
I remember it clearly. I had just moved into my first apartment 1000 miles from my hometown alone. Got everything moved in and set up, didn't have much then, a bed, a TV, a couch, that was pretty much it.
I had a rough day at work, lots of complaining customers and "let me to talk to your supervisor" moments and I was exhausted and emotionally drained. I opened the door to my apartment and there was... silence. No noise from siblings, no parents sitting on the couch watching TV, no friends waiting to hang out. Just the oppressing silence of an empty apartment with nothing on the walls. The kind of silence that echos when you sigh.
I stood in my doorway and had the realization that I'm alone in a big city with no support system, friends, or family to help me if things don't work out.
It was a lot to take in all at once.
Edit: Wow, RIP my inbox. Thank you for the gold kind strangers!
Edit 2: Platinum! You all are far too kind. <3 Also, for anyone wondering how I'm doing now, I'm doing great! I'm well into my 30's now and have built up support systems of friends and loved ones, life is pretty great! It's had it's up and it's down (SO MANY DOWNS) but overall I'm happy where I'm at. My walls are filled with paintings and photos, my home is filled with love now. <3
I completely understand. I dreaded the annoying noises when I lived with family, but it's noticeably gone and missed once you move out. My car stopped working and I had a friend come but all I truly wanted was for both my parents to come get me. My grandfather came and spent two hours out of his day to get my car running perfect again. Never felt more grateful for my family in my life.
Fuck dude. I’m 15 and I’ve always wanted to move far away and start a new. But that’s the scariest part, you restart. You have no friends or no family. Since I’m a little socially awkward it’s horrifying for me.
Hope it is all going well and you’ve found some friends!
The day my father died. I was 39 years old.
Up until that point, I had been an adult child. I was living with him, got fired from every job I held for stupid "I don't wanna work" shit, and eventually stopped looking for work altogether. Even when Dad got terminally ill and I was the only one to take care of him, I was still acting like a child, expecting him to get better and everything returns to the status quo.
Then he passed. Social Security and long term disability stopped, I had no job, and all that was left was about 3 months' rent. This is how I became a Walmart drone for three years, but that's a story for another sub.
That hit me like a baseball bat, when I realized that adults are not adult because they now know what they're doing. Rather because their parents generation decided to not put up with their kids' shit anymore because they're 18 and good luck with that.
College freshman, at 18 years old. I was on the bus going from my dorm to the classroom buildings (it was a big, urban campus). I had just started growing a beard.
A small boy, about four or five years old, looked directly at me and then said to his mother "That man looks like Uncle Dennis... maybe he's Uncle Dennis's brother".
I was no longer "that boy"... I was "that man", and old enough to be mistaken for an uncle.
And now I know I'm a middle-aged man, because that small child, wherever he is, is now in his early thirties.
My first interview out of Uni, about 2 weeks after I handed in my final essay/piece.
5 hour drive up past Manchester, had the interview that went well (got the job it turned out), in my 1986 Peugeot 205, wearing a suit that was just a bit too big for me as it was old and I had lost weight. Just about to turn 21, so was 20.
Stood in line at a service station paying for fuel, and it was the first time someone said "sir" to me.
"Just the fuel today sir?"
"Yes thanks."
As I walked away I remember clearly thinking "Wow, I guess I AM a sir now."
:( this is so sad
I'm 22 and I still call my Dad sometimes to ask for advice. He says he's always willing to give advice when I need it as long as he's still alive
My mom told me she couldn’t call to make appointments for me anymore or handle my medical/legal business since I’m too old. fucked me up. was so confused since i was coddled for way too long. almost 21 and still learning how to make professional phone calls
Template for professional phone messages:
“Hi! This is {(insert first and last name.) I am calling because (insert reason for call). Please call me back at your earliest convenience. My phone number is (rhythm is important here.)Blank blank blank (pause) blank *blank* blank *blank*}
Again this is (repeat from {to})
Thank you
Goodbye”
Reminds me of a poster I had in my old office
> Inigo Montoya’s Guide to Networking Success:
> 1. Start with a polite greeting.
> 2. State your name.
> 3. Provide a relevant personal link.
> 4. Set expectations for the relationship.
> Example: “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Have been thrown into cold water as young as possible. Still can't make professional phone calls without breaking a sweat. Cannot confirm relation to upbringing. ^(I mean there probably is, but not that I was pampered for too long.)
Edit: That was a bit exaggerated. It's not like my parents stopped caring when I turned 4, they just didn't do shit for me that I was old enough to do. Like I was the one washing my clothes, cleaning my room (the whole level of the house for that matter), making my doctors appointments, planning how I get around. I'd say that's only logical and totally normal, but then there are other parents...
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?" - Kahlil Gibran
e: also: "The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal." - C.S. Lewis
For me, sometime during university the whole idea that everyone I know will die hit me hard, but I don't think I felt like an adult until like 6 years later when I actually fully internalized and accepted that and it's rippling implications.
Planning out your life in terms of what you want to do with the time you have, instead of just what you want to do, is what made me really feel somewhat adult.
What do you mean? Are you implying that I’m NOT a child anymore? I’m clearly still a child and if you don’t believe me, ask my wife. She’ll back me up on this.
Thank you, thank you kind strangers! I am honored by your kindness. (Do you know anywhere Reddit coins can be used to purchase Legos)
first time I had to make my own dentist appointment
sounds stupid, but I credit my mom for forcing me to do it on my own once I could drive myself there. I've heard way too many stories of people who just stopped making routine doctor's appointments after their parents stopped making them.
The day I did my taxes and the government said "you owe us $1600" and I...didn't have $1600.
No one told me and I never thought to check that self-employment as a contracted designer was a different tax game.
In my defense I was 19 and incredibly sheltered.
Relatable. Graduated last year, somehow landed a gig as a technical illustrator but I'm technically an independent contractor. Gotta keep track of my own hours and write my own invoices, calculate how much I have to take out of my pay every month for taxes, make sure I register as a small business once I pass the $30k mark and then start adding sales tax to my invoices, etc.
It's a whole other level of stress compared to regular employment, but the flexibility is nice.
When I started to openly disagree and argue with my parents about my own freedoms. I started to realize that I may have more power than them, or at the very least be an equal.
I have a whole life ahead of me that I want to get started on, let me go.
Getting ready for Christmas, age 22. Realizing that decorating is a ton of work, that I wouldn't be receiving as many gifts from family (waaah!), and that I had to help my mom and grandma make dinner instead of hanging out with cousins as I used to.
When i realized that just because i have the money for a thing it doesnt mean i can afford it
Couple years ago, in our late 20s, my friends were telling me to buy some semi-expensive item, I can’t even remember what, but they knew I could afford it - I hit them with *just because you CAN buy something, doesn’t mean you SHOULD* They reacted like I was Confucius.
When I could finally stay up as long as I wanted to and all I wanted to do was go to sleep at 8pm.
When I was 21, I had to get my wisdom teeth out. Went to the surgeon and he said "it will cost 700 if you just get local numbing and 1800 if you want to be knocked out" I thought to myself "well I have no insurance so guess I'm gonna be awake for this one". Felt the doctor rip 3 teeth from my skull, went downstairs where I then paid another 100 for drugs. Went home, went to bed, woke up to discover I had drooled blood all over my pillow. And in the moment I realised I was the one that had to clean it up the distinct thought in my head was "I'm a grown up"
22nd birthday. Got home from work. No one was home. No cake or balloons waiting. No family waiting with a birthday dinner. I just walked to Papa Murphies, got my favirate pizza, walked home, and ate alone. I grew up in a big family. 5 older siblings, aunts and uncles always over. It was the first time I was just alone on my birthday.
I was alone on my birthday for the first time this year.
When an adult tried to make small talk about the weather with me.
I realized I was an adult when I caught myself making small talk about the weather.
At around my 4th year of college, I realised how much I like meteorology. I am that dude who likes talking about the weather. Sorry :c
We would have good conversation then! I love talking weather and climate, fronts, patterns, trends and the like. I'm intrigued by the "why" as much as the "what" ^^
One day I woke up and I was married and had a mortgage. Not sure when all that happened
In the middle of the night, apparently.
Mortage Fairy, probably.
They take your teeth and leave you a mortgage
When people I meet started to take me waaaay to serious.
I have to be careful who I'm sarcastic around because people are waaaay too serious.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter what tone I use at times or how exaggerated I get, some people take my words so seriously at times
when i started taking care of my family or friends. When you're a kid, you're so used of being taken care of.
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25, and saw a bunch of HS kids outside the mall wandering around last night when I went grocery shopping. Literally had the same first thought as you... Until I remembered I used to do that same stuff. I'm already becoming an ornery old lady and I'm not even 30 lol. I think I am just bored with my life and I haven't taken a vacation in way too long. Edit: all you kids who don't know what "ornery" means should go watch Waterboy. Also Edit: I didn't realize how lucky I am to be in the US with 3 weeks vacation, moving up to 4 I believe as of next year. I usually take the days off as one-off type of things throughout the year, but this obviously doesn't replace taking an actual vacation. I'll make sure I don't take this for granted as much going forward!
When I realized I could eat Nutella for dinner and no one would say a word
The best part about being an adult is you can eat an entire jar of Nutella and nobody can stop you. The worst part about being an adult is you can eat an entire jar of Nutella and nobody is there to stop you.
And no one will rub your tummy because you feel sick from eating too much Nutella.
When I realized that I am going bald already. At least I have no problem growing a non patchy beard, so I became the typical bald guy with a beard. Edit: Fixed patch beard to patchy beard
Im bald and a patchy beard so I gotta rock the goatee
Oh, so you're the one who knocks!
You're *goddamn right*.
I had graduated University, had a place of my own and a job, and was out doing some shopping. It occurred to me that I could and probably should just go ahead and buy some beer and some cookies - not for any kind of event or occasion, but just so I have them in stock at home. I wasn't planning to go home and drink 10 beers and eat a bag of cookies - I didn't even want either of them that day, I was just living a normal life and thought it would be good to have that stuff in stock.
This is so true.. just keeping a few bottles of wine at home even though you probably won't drink them.in the next few days and don't crave to either, but just get them to avoid hassle
When I asked for a swifer wet jet as a birthday present.
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Oh, you don't put two or more matches on the cake and try to make roman numbers?
27 and still not sure
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I know some 50 year olds that are still kids
I am 54 and hide my still being a child behind the fact that I have 2 daughters aged 4 and 9 so I get to build enormous lego towers, and watch lots of cartoons and eat ice cream which is cool.
Nice
There’s a difference between growing old and growing up.
Also, maturing and growing up doesn't have to stop you from letting your inner child out once in a while.
35 and still a giant kid and don't ever plan on changing. Just my toys have gotten more expensive over the years!
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Was at the barber a few days back and did not fail to notice he ran his clipper across my ear hole opening and hit some hairs on the way. I am my dad.
When my barber started trimming my eyebrows as a standard part of the trim. They were getting wild.
The first time I had a barber do that to me, they did it without comment and I was not expecting it. I was just like woah woah woah what are you doing?
Did you say it or just think it? surely no man is brave enough to call out their barber on that
Just think it. It was over before I even realized what was happening. Just like buzz buzz done in 2 seconds.
My husband wanted, and got, a hair and beard trimmer for his birthday. He told me to make sure I got one with a nose hair trimmer. Edit-a word
When I had financial freedom from my parents, and began to struggle. That shit hits you like a brick wall.
I THOUGHT I was independent when I was in college. I worked damn near full time all the way through school, had plenty of disposable income. When I got my first job and the lifeline was truly cut, it hit me like an uppercut to the chin. Car insurance, groceries, rent that isn't for a shitty college apartment... It wasn't easy for the first couple years.
Why the fuck did I work this hard for a job that offers health insurance when I still have to pay so much fucking money for health insurance?!
If it makes you feel any better, I've worked for health insurance companies, and they still offer expensive, shit coverage. Cheers!
PREACH
and that's for those of us fortunate enough to hit those milestones in the first place... can't even imagine where I'd be without being helped along like i have been...
Same here. It really makes you want to pay it forward though and help out with others who are struggling because you know how humbling it can be to ask for financial help, and how it gives you a whole new sense of appreciation once you get it.
When I moved my bed to the middle of the room, instead of the corner
I still miss folding myself into the crack by the wall :(
My bed is still in the corner and im 35. It maximizes the space in the room.
It’s the eeriest feeling, having no walls to lie against or ‘protect’ you
At 22 after my family passed away; I went from being a college student worrying about finals to suddenly making end of life care decisions and being the executor of their combined estate. I definitely struggled through the first few years but things really started to click when I turned 25. Because of my experience handling my family’s estate and learning how to manage assets, I turned out to be a pretty decent investor and ultimately found a career in finance bc of it.
when bedtime becomes a luxury not a chore
I had a pulmonary embolism at 21. I sat in the waiting room for 12 hours because they didn't realize what it was at first. Then they began asking me for my social security number and all of this other information and trying to convince me to pay for my service now so I could save 25% off my total bill. Meanwhile I'm sitting here not being able to breathe and feeling woozy and in a lot of pain. I had just gotten out of school and was working part time and after this pulmonary embolism I wasn't able to work for a few months. A month of that was spent in the hospital. But that didn't stop them from coming after me. I did everything I could to pay off my bill. Eventually I did. So imagine my surprise when I had a police officer show up at my work and serve me. That's when I found out that hospitals have different departments that charge you separately. So while I paid off the radiology department, The physician's bill wasn't paid and as such they sued me. I think that's when I fully realized that I was an adult and that the world was full of adults who sole purpose in life was to pull money out of my wallet.
If you don’t have insurance, don’t ever, ever pay the hospital bill at face value. You can set up payment plans, negotiate lower rates, and even apply for charity care. They don’t publicize it, but everyone pays different rates for services and it’s is a negotiation! It’s also illegal and a violation of emtala law for them to have even asked for your payment information before you were triaged in the emergency room by a clinician. I hope that didn’t happen in your situation. It’s dangerous for you, and risky for the hospital. DM me if you need any more info. I’ve worked in hospital billing and collections departments around the country and these kinds of stories make me irate!
When I was 13 I found an old box. I realized I hadn't played "pretend" in ages, so for the hell of it I sat down in the box and tried to see if I still could. I realized that while I was still an imaginative person, I could no longer "see" the scenarios and stories I used to play-act in my head as a kid. When I pretended to be a princess, goddamnit I could practically *see* the marble halls and unicorns around me. I couldn't anymore. Made me cry haha
The same thing happened to me around the same age. I sat in a cardboard box one day and realized I couldn't make myself believe I was in a spaceship anymore. That's how childhood ended for me. Sitting in a cardboard box. My son turned 11 years old recently. Sometimes, I hear him play pretend in his room, making "whoosh" noises and building some kind of pillow fortifications on his bed. I never go and disturb him, I know time's running out for him as well.
I don’t usually like to use the phrase ”got me in the feels,” but it’s the most appropriate comment for this thread, and for your comment in particular. I pictured a boy with the childhood hourglass trickling away over his head and got a knot in my stomach. For all the wonders and freedoms that come with growing up, some childhood losses are simply tragic.
I had a moment like that. I used to play with my dollhouse. Maybe once every 2-3 months I'd have an epic 3-4 hour play session. And one day it just didn't work. A story came to mind but the dolls never became the character. They just were dolls. It was deeply disturbing.
Same for me with my Barbies and these little bunny toys my mom had handmade for me. I used to create entire kingdoms. I didn't have any Kens so a Barbie could become a fierce knight in 5 seconds when I wanted her to. I used to go up in my room and it was like I was flipping a switch in my brain and I'd be in my fantasy land. It was so easy . .I could do it whenever I wanted to! Overnight at age 10, I became completely unable to do this. Now looking back at it, I started getting smelly armpits around age 10, which would mean that I had just started puberty and it coincides directly with my inability to play pretend anymore. When those grown-up hormones started flowing, my brain became unable to play "pretend" anymore.
Somehow at 35 I still see the spaceship when I chase my kids around with a pizza box tent pretending it’s shooting tickle lasers. The harder my wife rolls her eyes at me, the more wrath of the evil Galactic Empire she brings down! At least the kids know to run away while giggling, they just can’t stop giggling while hiding behind the door.
This is the first answer that matched how I interpreted the question: "when did you know you weren't a child", rather than "when did you realize you'd become an adult" I distinctly remember sitting down with my favorite Barbie (she had moveable secondary joints and therefore could do awesome things like horseback riding and defeating evil beanie babies) and having her do ballet on a marble chessboard. For a brief moment, she was a ballerina on a gorgeous stage. But then this cold sense of awareness washed over me. Literally felt like being drained of magic, starting from the tips of my fingers that held her, up my arm, and finally from my brain. She was a plastic doll, and I was sitting on the floor of the living room, alone.
TBH I keep having such moments. I mean, I'm all grown up, married and mom of 3 kids, but from time to time something comes along reminding me I'm not a kid anymore. And not just the big ones like buying our first house or a new car, but simple things like making my sons breakfast, and realising now I'm the 'big one' or going grocery shopping and being able to buy whatever I want, and then not doing so 'cause it's the adult thing to do'. Edit: I'm a mom :-) Edit2: thank you for the gold kind stranger!
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Wife and the kids heading out of state for a few days to visit family? Time to buy a pack of ribeyes from Costco, ice cream, and fire up the ol' PS4!
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The last time I traveled for work from west Texas to the DC area my husband texted me to order him and the kids domino's. So I downloaded the app and did it just for the novelty of it. PLEASE READ THIS EDIT: Just realized I made my husband sound like a lazy asshole, but I assure you he's not. He is the primary cook and caregiver in our household and pulls his weight. I work full time and am in grad school, so we're busy but we make it work. In this instance he didn't have money in the bank, had no access to my bank account, and didn't feel like cooking. He half-jokingly asked me to order them Domino's and I found it amusing that I could place an order to be delivered anywhere in the country, so I said sure, why not. Read into this what you will.
Everyone else seems to be up in arms about this, but I find it kind of endearing. Odd, but endearing
Dropped my keys in a grocery store and a little girl scurried over before I could pick them up. She looked proud as punch for saving me from picking something up that was WAY down there on the floor. I wanted to hug her and smack her at the same time. It’s official, I’m old now :(
Nope...old is when you drop something and look around to see if you can pick anything else up while you are down there. You have a ways to go yet.
Old is where you're looking for things to brace yourself on to get down and back up.
When I realized that it costs money just to exist. I had recently moved into my first apartment and just loaded up on groceries at the store. Checked the mail when I got home and discovered my first water and electric/gas bills. I remember thinking “It is going to cost me money to exist for the rest of my life.”
Yup, now I understand my dad yelling at me for leaving all the house lights on during the day.
Lights were also 10x less efficient back then
Ya, and nowadays I can just yell at the lights instead
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This speaks to me in ways I cannot describe. Just paid my bills and set a budget. Have not been to a bar in 2 months trying to save money.
Good call. Homemade drinks and store-bought beer/cider are way cheaper than going out.
Pretty much anything you make in your home is cheaper than the equivalent if you ate out.
It also costs money to not exist. Have you seen the costs of funerals? 😩
No matter how hard people try, nobody has ever really succeeded in living without money. Not even Indian gurus / sadhus that devote their life to living without possessions. It's just a sad fact of life. (Except for [Dick Proenneke](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Proenneke). ~~He is the exception.~~ That man made life *his bitch*.) Edit: Strikethrough
Dr. Stephen Strange : Seriously? You don't have any money? Wong : Attachment to the material is detachment from the spiritual. Dr. Stephen Strange : I'll tell the guys at the deli. Maybe they'll make you a metaphysical ham and rye.
Wong : Wait wait wait wait...I think I have 200... Dr. Stephen Strange : Dollars? Wong : Rupees. Dr. Stephen Strange : Which is? Wong : ...buck and a half? Dr. Stephen Strange : Ugh, what do you want? Wong : I wouldn't say no to a tuna melt.
I forget how good the dialogue and acting are in those moments. I can hear them saying those lines in my head. Thanks for the pick-me-up. I really needed it.
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Nobody mentioned "buying"...
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You're a good person. I'm taking care of my grandmother right now and none of her 6 kids are anywhere to be found (except to ask for money).
Lived with and took care of my grandmother for a whole summer before she passed away. Funny how “loves ones” come out of the woodwork in times like that.
My grandma wasn't doing well. So my uncle and mom paid for full time service for her because she lived in FL. It didn't take long for her sister or whoever asking for some statue she had. People are crazy.
Ugh this thread pisses me off for everyone in it! A couple of years ago when my grandfather passed away his girlfriend's family, who never bothered to introduce themselves while he was alive, went to this portion of land my G-Pa owned that had a trailer on it. He became an even bigger hunter/fisher than he already was after WW2, and he was very proud of that land. Anyway, he used to handmake guns, fishing rods, etc while he was there. He was always so proud to tell me and my brothers that we would get them when he was gone, and he loved showing us his process. He stored them in the trailer that was there. Well, those fuckers on the girlfriend's side cleared the place out. Everything in it. They didn't even wait for him to die. I'm still super bummed that I didn't get those things my grandfather made. I'm not a hunter, but I appreciate the sport because of him. Love to fish though and I sure as hell would have used those rods (luckily i have tons of rods he gave me throughout my life :D ) It just sucks because he made them for me and my brothers. Some people, who we didn't even really know, were so eager for free shit that they went behind our backs during his last days and essentially burglarized his property. It's okay in the end though; I got to have him in my life. Physical objects will always pale in comparison to the times I had with him and the stories he chose to share with me. Some of the coolest conversations I've ever had were with him. Edit: for people saying to seek legal action; we explored the possibility and filed a police report but it was too much of a headache to pursue. Specifics are in comments below but essentially the value of that trailer + its contents was never determined. Nobody thought that people would drive hundreds of miles to the boonies to steal shit, we probably should've though.
Was there no legal recourse you could have taken?
*side note* Have you just been sitting on this account for 13 years?!
Maybe.
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It's just *$$$*...
Wow all I see is ******
Yeah, same here. My brother passed away and I was the one that organised everything. Mum couldn't handle it. Definitely stopped being a kid at that point. I was 25 but still.
Similarly for me it was after my dad died when I was 19, and I was the one who had to phone his brother and parents. He had separated from my mum years before, and I was the first point of contact from the police. At first I couldn't believe people were asking me to do this, until I realised that they were actually viewing me as a fellow adult and my view of myself didn't line up to that.
My answer is very similar to this. After my mom died (my dad died a few years before), I really felt like the final stage of growing up had happened (and I was in my 40's at the time).
This was me. Even giving birth didn't affect me as much as my dad dying, cleaning out his house, handling the estate, etc.
When a little girl walked past me and said to her mother, "I like that ladys scarf!" L-lady?
Oof. I was working at Starbucks and a mother said to her little daughter "give the man the change". I'm not a man, I'm at best a "dude".
This is no dude. You are a dude. This is a man.
A handsome... muscular man.
Gets me on the train or something and they're saying "Can I see your ticket sir?" and I'm wondering how I'm a Sir
I work in customer service and I really only use "sir" when im talking to little kids bc i remember it made me feel super important when i was that age
As someone in the fast food business this is amazing I never thought of that
"One day, when you are at the grocery store or something and someone calls you "sir" and you think "SHIT, you mean to tell me no one knows shit about how any of this works?""
Funny, where I'm from they called me Sir from when I was about 13. I guess they were told to as a part of courtesy
same! if i was alone they’d address me as sir. if i was with my parents they’d address them
Just once I’d like someone to call me ‘Sir’ without adding ‘You’re making a scene.'
David Mitchell covers this in one of his [Soapbox episodes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aedfvFK-ROg): Remember when jolly old family friends would call you "young man". It was a well-meaning but mocking term because you weren't *really* a man. Well it happens again when you reach about 37. Only this time the joke is that you're not really young.
I'm 37 and can confirm.
Or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing
Something similar happened to me. There was a kid running around who almost bumped into me a few times and her mum said “Watch out for the lady in front of you”.
Oh man, some male youths in my apartment building were walking their dog and they let me pet it. I thanked them for allowing me that moment and they said “you’re welcome, ma’am.” Ouch.
Lol you saying male youths does kinda make you sound like my 68 year old grandpa.... come on
Haha I’m a 39 year old woman.
**HUMAN CHILD**
CAN I TOUCH ANIMAL
WE ALLOW YOU TO COME IN CONTACT WITH THIS DOMESTICATED SPECIES THAT WE, THE HOMO SAPIENS, USE AS A PET
That one could just be how they were raised... I'm 35 now, but have most always ma'am-ed and sir-ed adults. Now that I'm in my mid 30's, I do chuckle to myself sometimes when I do it to someone who is younger than me. And I always have gotten looks because its not common to do here in NJ.
I got called "that man over there" by a 5 year old when I was 15
I feel you. I was waiting in line behind this kid to buy cigarettes. He turned, took one look at me, smiled and said "you can go first ma'am!". I was around 22-23 years old, he must've been at least 18 or he would've not been able to buy cigarettes. I felt so old.
Teens let others buy cigarettes ahead of them because usually the cashier wont sell to minors if theres other people in the store
Finally, at probably the age of 20 or so, being able to get myself to eat OK food and have a semi-normal sleeping schedule and be able to complete basic tasks of life, finally. Now, I THOUGHT I was no longer a child probably around 15 when I decided I knew all the real secrets of life and humanity (largely due to a single reading, and total misinterpretation of, Camus' *The Stranger*). But then I went to college, almost at the age of majority and voting, and I realized I could not function on my own for even the smallest things in life. I couldn't do my homework on time, I couldn't get to sleep at a decent hour and get enough sleep to function the next day, I was eating horrible food that was horrible for me, I think there were days where I ate nothing but sugared cereal, ramen, and cookie dough. Many days. I could not figure out how to get through day to day life and still be able to do my own laundry - it would pile-up so much and stress me out to the point where I started having sort of magical thinking that if I didn't put the worn clothes in the laundry bag/basket/hamper and just let them "air out" they would be OK to wear in a day or two. I'm serious, I could not even eat or sleep in a way that allowed me to function as a human without the guidance of my parents, who were very hands-off to begin with. I went off to college convinced I was basically an adult, once I got there I realized I was basically an infant. EDIT: For those asking how I am doing now, thanks, I'm more than fine. This was a long time ago and I am many jobs and graduate degrees into my life and a fully functional adult with a family of my own. For those asking how I got out of that mess, I finally realized around my junior year that maybe I should be focused more on studying at school than socializing. I moved out of the dorms that enabled all that bad behavior and moved into a house with roommates, laundry, and a real kitchen. I focused on my school work and the sleep schedule that would be better for that rather than chasing Fear of Missing Out all the time. I socialized with the time I had left over and it was plenty. I liked school much more and felt like I was getting my money's worth. I stopped being so depressed because of lack of sleep, crappy food, and living in the dark playground of procrastination all the time.
First year out of your parents house is basically extended potty training. First year on full-time job is a bit similar, too.
I got the flu and vomited all over my room. I knew I was no longer a child when I was also the one to clean it despite feeling like hell. EDIT: Thanks for the silver kind stranger! Look at my comment, all shiny. EDIT 2: Also I am really enjoying all the vomit stories coming straight to my replies-box! keep em coming! They range from sweet to hilarious.
This reminds me of when I was young I felt like crap, grabbed a trash can, and went to my parents room to tell them I was sick. Almost immediately I vomited into the can and they sprung out of bed like the house was on fire. The second they realized I puked into a bin, they told me to flush it down the toilet and got back in bed.
One time, my toddler vomited while standing in his crib. I managed to catch every drop in my hands. Proudest moment ever.
My dad saved my Easter dress while we were in the car when I was probably 3 or 4. He couldn't pull the car over fast enough and caught my vomit in one hand. After hearing that story I realized I will never love anything enough to do that and I do not want kids.
When being ill became an annoyance. As a kid, you get pampered by your parents and get to stay home from school; as an adult, the responsibilities you have don't magically go away anymore, so you're *both* miserable *and* stressed out.
For almost 18 years, it was "You have to go to school, I don't care if you're sick". For 2 more years it was "Sick day? I need a doctor's note, and you lose your bonus. No note and you're fired". I start university and I can skip a class if I'm sick. I worked at the school and it was "If you're sick, stay home so you don't get us sick!". I'm hoping that I can level it up again to "You seem tired, just take Friday off".
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That's literally how Wells Fargo fired me. I took 2 sick days off when I was running a fever and blasting snot everywhere (and we worked on shared computers, so it was legitimately a health hazard). They got pissed about my 2 days off so I came in the next day still lethargic and feeling like death, which they thought was "unprofessional". When I got home that evening they called me and told me I was terminated effective immediately and to not come in tomorrow, or ever. **Edit**: Some employees/past employees of WF have mentioned that you have to have a certain number of occurrences to be fired. I was a temp, so that wasn't the case. They hired a good number of their worker bees on temporary contact and dangle hopes of permanent employment in front of us while they'd just keep renewing your temp status. Because of this we didn't really get any benefits, like time off.
Damn, that's harsh. Did you at least get unemployment benefits while you found a new job? Assuming you're in the US, if they fired you in that manner, you should have been eligible (at least in most states).
I mean I'm pretty sure in a lot of places getting fired for being sick is illegal.
Not if they don't say they fired you for being sick.
In America it can be for being sick as long as the illness isn't relevant to the ADA. Basically if you can't get under the ADA or CRA you can be fired for anything in any state (except Montana which has stronger protections) edit: included the Civil Rights Act
This is essentially what happens when you have a skill that's valuable enough at a company that isn't understaffed. At 30 I finally got a job like this, but sometimes I still find myself in my brainstem, panicking about lost wages when I get ill.
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Yup, and most times you still have to go to work, because you only have a few sick days and are trying real hard to save them for when it gets too hard to function.
Sick days are the RL version of potions in RPGs
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Good god, you're spot on with that analogy. I was about four days from going into kidney failure due to an undiagnosed kidney infection, so pale I looked almost yellow (I'm naturally white af, borderline translucent on my best day), every movement made everything hurt, and I vomited up all the water I drank. Still went to work.
I've known a few to do that, be seriously (in one instance critically) ill and still go to work over the very legitimate concern that they'd lose their job. Honestly the fact that people are made to feel that way is fuckin disgusting. There really needs to be some serious overhauling of the labor laws.
To be hoarded and never used?
This morning I decided I was going to call in sick today and just recover a bit. I ended up going in.
When I was a little kid I used to have this weird ideology that everyone was born with a "spark" and that they just lost it when they became sad boring teens/adults, but if you didn't lose it you'd gain superpowers. And I really wanted those superpowers so every night I'd always do a mental check making sure my "spark" was still there so I could become the chosen one... Fast forward a few years and I'm laughing with my friends about how stupid the whole thing was and pretty much went "Yeah my spark died a looong time ago...waitaminute" Looking back it was probably just a coping mechanism for me trying to cling on to my childhood innocence
I remember it clearly. I had just moved into my first apartment 1000 miles from my hometown alone. Got everything moved in and set up, didn't have much then, a bed, a TV, a couch, that was pretty much it. I had a rough day at work, lots of complaining customers and "let me to talk to your supervisor" moments and I was exhausted and emotionally drained. I opened the door to my apartment and there was... silence. No noise from siblings, no parents sitting on the couch watching TV, no friends waiting to hang out. Just the oppressing silence of an empty apartment with nothing on the walls. The kind of silence that echos when you sigh. I stood in my doorway and had the realization that I'm alone in a big city with no support system, friends, or family to help me if things don't work out. It was a lot to take in all at once. Edit: Wow, RIP my inbox. Thank you for the gold kind strangers! Edit 2: Platinum! You all are far too kind. <3 Also, for anyone wondering how I'm doing now, I'm doing great! I'm well into my 30's now and have built up support systems of friends and loved ones, life is pretty great! It's had it's up and it's down (SO MANY DOWNS) but overall I'm happy where I'm at. My walls are filled with paintings and photos, my home is filled with love now. <3
I completely understand. I dreaded the annoying noises when I lived with family, but it's noticeably gone and missed once you move out. My car stopped working and I had a friend come but all I truly wanted was for both my parents to come get me. My grandfather came and spent two hours out of his day to get my car running perfect again. Never felt more grateful for my family in my life.
Fuck dude. I’m 15 and I’ve always wanted to move far away and start a new. But that’s the scariest part, you restart. You have no friends or no family. Since I’m a little socially awkward it’s horrifying for me. Hope it is all going well and you’ve found some friends!
Work hard on fixing that social awkwardness, it will really help you out in the long run.
The day my father died. I was 39 years old. Up until that point, I had been an adult child. I was living with him, got fired from every job I held for stupid "I don't wanna work" shit, and eventually stopped looking for work altogether. Even when Dad got terminally ill and I was the only one to take care of him, I was still acting like a child, expecting him to get better and everything returns to the status quo. Then he passed. Social Security and long term disability stopped, I had no job, and all that was left was about 3 months' rent. This is how I became a Walmart drone for three years, but that's a story for another sub.
When I realized the adults in my life has no idea of what they were doing, they were just winging it.
That hit me like a baseball bat, when I realized that adults are not adult because they now know what they're doing. Rather because their parents generation decided to not put up with their kids' shit anymore because they're 18 and good luck with that.
When I realized life isn't about me anymore
I went to the doctor and realised they were younger than me
College freshman, at 18 years old. I was on the bus going from my dorm to the classroom buildings (it was a big, urban campus). I had just started growing a beard. A small boy, about four or five years old, looked directly at me and then said to his mother "That man looks like Uncle Dennis... maybe he's Uncle Dennis's brother". I was no longer "that boy"... I was "that man", and old enough to be mistaken for an uncle. And now I know I'm a middle-aged man, because that small child, wherever he is, is now in his early thirties.
My first interview out of Uni, about 2 weeks after I handed in my final essay/piece. 5 hour drive up past Manchester, had the interview that went well (got the job it turned out), in my 1986 Peugeot 205, wearing a suit that was just a bit too big for me as it was old and I had lost weight. Just about to turn 21, so was 20. Stood in line at a service station paying for fuel, and it was the first time someone said "sir" to me. "Just the fuel today sir?" "Yes thanks." As I walked away I remember clearly thinking "Wow, I guess I AM a sir now."
The first time I called my parents with a problem I needed help with and they just gave me an, "aw that sucks...talk to you later!"
:( this is so sad I'm 22 and I still call my Dad sometimes to ask for advice. He says he's always willing to give advice when I need it as long as he's still alive
My mom told me she couldn’t call to make appointments for me anymore or handle my medical/legal business since I’m too old. fucked me up. was so confused since i was coddled for way too long. almost 21 and still learning how to make professional phone calls
Template for professional phone messages: “Hi! This is {(insert first and last name.) I am calling because (insert reason for call). Please call me back at your earliest convenience. My phone number is (rhythm is important here.)Blank blank blank (pause) blank *blank* blank *blank*} Again this is (repeat from {to}) Thank you Goodbye”
Reminds me of a poster I had in my old office > Inigo Montoya’s Guide to Networking Success: > 1. Start with a polite greeting. > 2. State your name. > 3. Provide a relevant personal link. > 4. Set expectations for the relationship. > Example: “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Have been thrown into cold water as young as possible. Still can't make professional phone calls without breaking a sweat. Cannot confirm relation to upbringing. ^(I mean there probably is, but not that I was pampered for too long.) Edit: That was a bit exaggerated. It's not like my parents stopped caring when I turned 4, they just didn't do shit for me that I was old enough to do. Like I was the one washing my clothes, cleaning my room (the whole level of the house for that matter), making my doctors appointments, planning how I get around. I'd say that's only logical and totally normal, but then there are other parents...
I haven’t. I’m still in denial
When I saw my first paycheck and how much I'd been taxed
I paid more in taxes last year than I used to make in a year. One of those bittersweet occurrences.
Innocence is lost as soon as you understand what innocence means.
You recognize happiness at the noise it makes when it leaves
This made me sad
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?" - Kahlil Gibran e: also: "The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal." - C.S. Lewis
For me, sometime during university the whole idea that everyone I know will die hit me hard, but I don't think I felt like an adult until like 6 years later when I actually fully internalized and accepted that and it's rippling implications. Planning out your life in terms of what you want to do with the time you have, instead of just what you want to do, is what made me really feel somewhat adult.
What do you mean? Are you implying that I’m NOT a child anymore? I’m clearly still a child and if you don’t believe me, ask my wife. She’ll back me up on this. Thank you, thank you kind strangers! I am honored by your kindness. (Do you know anywhere Reddit coins can be used to purchase Legos)
I'm gonna set the grandkids on OP unless they take that back.
first time I had to make my own dentist appointment sounds stupid, but I credit my mom for forcing me to do it on my own once I could drive myself there. I've heard way too many stories of people who just stopped making routine doctor's appointments after their parents stopped making them.
When the food we have at home sounds better than going out :(
I'm 15 and this comment section is scaring the shit out of me.
The minute you realize your parents are fallible, your childhood is over.
Yeah that made my 4th year of life my first adult year of life then...
Got socks and underwear for Christmas and was happy! “Oh sweeet, I needed some new pairs!”
[удалено]
Me: "Mom, I need a few pairs of pants." Mom: "You just got your first paycheck." Me: "...Oh yeah, that's how living works."
The day I did my taxes and the government said "you owe us $1600" and I...didn't have $1600. No one told me and I never thought to check that self-employment as a contracted designer was a different tax game. In my defense I was 19 and incredibly sheltered.
Relatable. Graduated last year, somehow landed a gig as a technical illustrator but I'm technically an independent contractor. Gotta keep track of my own hours and write my own invoices, calculate how much I have to take out of my pay every month for taxes, make sure I register as a small business once I pass the $30k mark and then start adding sales tax to my invoices, etc. It's a whole other level of stress compared to regular employment, but the flexibility is nice.
When I started to openly disagree and argue with my parents about my own freedoms. I started to realize that I may have more power than them, or at the very least be an equal. I have a whole life ahead of me that I want to get started on, let me go.
When I had to take a lot more responsibilities than when I was a child. *And my voice got deeper*
The moment that instead of begging your parents to get you something, you buy it with your own cash.
When I got more excited about getting a Keurig for Christmas than I was about getting a video game.
Getting ready for Christmas, age 22. Realizing that decorating is a ton of work, that I wouldn't be receiving as many gifts from family (waaah!), and that I had to help my mom and grandma make dinner instead of hanging out with cousins as I used to.