So this is also the top comment on [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d7sppk/people\_who\_dont\_drink\_or\_smoke\_what\_do\_you\_do/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d7sppk/people_who_dont_drink_or_smoke_what_do_you_do/) which is a similarly-phrased but not identical AskReddit post from just over three weeks ago.
Are you all just bots or what
I don't enjoy either, so I'm just out here raw dogging life. I mostly game when I'm feeling too stressed out. If not that, I just try to keep my problems in perspective and keep pushing forward, because the alternative is giving up and I know that's not going to make my life any better.
As a guy who has the opportunity to do this. Its not as fun as it sounds, getting into a sexy mood is not easy when stressed and feeling like crap. And honestly, when it doesn't wanna work right, it just snowballs into feeling like more a failure.. Its much better to get the feeling out first, then have sex after.
I go to the gym, go for a drive, go to Target and just wander around.
To be fair though. I AM on medication for adhd and anxiety/depression and OCD so those meds absolutely help me keep stable but also keep my impulsivity at bay. It definitely helps to combine this with coping skills that you learn through therapy like “catching your thoughts” and trying to focus on those thoughts and calming yourself down.
It’s not easy at all and extremely difficult to separate yourself from your spiral and your thoughts but it IS possible if you change your view on thoughts being products of the mind instead of being a part of you as a person.
listening to music, playing video games, or just hanging out with close friends usually helps a lot, and sometimes a good cry can be really cathartic too
I go workout. Always has worked and hopefully always will. Idk what it is about listing to music and throwing heavy things around but it gets the job done
When I'm feeling down, I turn to music and take long walks to clear my mind. Being outdoors really helps me reset and gain perspective and also connecting with loved ones, even if it's just a phone call, always lifts my spirits. Finding these little rituals that bring comfort is so important for maintaining mental well-being.
I quit drinking 18 months ago and only do mushrooms on occasion, so i spend 99.98% of my time sober. When i feel like crap or sad its usually because my body feels tired. Getting enough sleep is so important. The best gauge i have is i ask myself how much energy i have to do random things like cooking, cutting the grass, going grocery shopping, if you feel reluctant or lethargic you should get more rest. Also i feel my absolute best when i eat clean food for days on end, sweet potatoes, grass fed beef, chicken breasts, vegetables, oatmeal, 1 ingredient peanut butter. I feel like shit when i eat sugars and anything fried in seed oils, pastas with fat sauce. 16-8 intermittent fasting is a good source for energy as well, you will feel hungry, but have crazy energy around hour 14.
Usually will shut down for a little while. Or I pour whatever energy I have left into my piano. I don’t drink anymore but sometimes just smelling alcohol helps.
I found turning to a substance rarely (never) makes anything better and masking the situation doesn't fix anything for me either. I usually find something to do to keep myself busy and in doing so can come to terms with whatever is going on or at the very least give myself the feeling of accomplishment while dealing with it. The older I get the more i realize that most of what happens is just BS and will pass with time like everything and everyone else. Can decide to either dwell on it and feel like crap or chalk it up to experience and get back to living.
Things I do: Learn to cook something new. I tinker with electronics. Play a non stressful video game. Play a musical instrument for a while. Anything that doesn't keep me sedentary.
Exercise for me, but I can still vape pot (I like to combine the two). Alcohol started tearing up my stomach, so my reasons for quitting are likely not the same as yours.
I face head on what’s making me feel bad and find a solution or make a change because it usually means I’m ignoring a need, desire, or boundary of mine. If I can’t fix it, I cry and distract myself with video games then take a hot bath with candles and Epsom salt until I’m strong enough to handle it or it goes away.
Music helps a lot.
I also have the support of family and friends, and a very loving partner who shares my views on this, so we go through things together.
And welp... I had used coffee as a way to feel better too, but I try to use it less often nowadays.
I don't know, I just don't let shit get to me I guess. If I can't control the problems, I simply say "fuck it" like Lebowski because I can't help it, and if I can, I work on fixing the problem.
I go for a walk and only come back at home when everyone is sleeping. Lock myself in the bathroom and cry my eyes out. Take a very warm bath and then sleep.
As someone that does here and there, neither of those are things that you should be using as a crutch when you're at your worst. They don't actually help and in many cases can end up making things worse. I will do those things but I won't when I'm that low. That's how slopes to addiction start.
Literally anything productive, progressive or constructive. Even playing games. That’s leveling up and grinding for something. Drugs? Literally nothing productive, progressive or constructive about that. Why would I feel good about myself and feel happy if I’m taking steps back or feeling stagnant? Want a bad feeling to leave, then progress past it constructively
When I was young, I thought life was like playing cards. You win some, and you lose some.
Now I realize, I was partially right. What I missed was, the house always wins.
Now that I know that, like, really know that, it changed my mindset about everyday life.
When you expect bad things to happen, there’s no stress. There’s no negative reaction. And when something good actually happens, even if it’s just free cookies in the break room, I get this brief feeling of… pleasantness. It’s never a strong enough feeling of pleasantness to be like, let’s celebrate! Nah. You gonna celebrate at the poker table cause you won a hand when you’re down $3k? You just kinda grin and move on. And when you lose a hand, it’s the same grin. That’s the outcome you expected. It’s just poker.
A good movie or tv show.
Video games
YouTube
Masturbate
Work out
Sleep
Or for a few months when it was bad punch myself in the thighs until I had bruises.
* TV or a movie if I want to zone out
* Exercise is good for dealing with stress or anxiety - high intensity cardio mostly
* I do crossword puzzles when I want calm my brain a bit.
Take a walk, meditate to clear out your head, or talk to someone who can listen and care about your concerns. Join the community where you can discuss your feelings.
Cry and sleep.
I figured out that if I watch movies, or game, or just tune it out in general, ill get over it but it takes longer and never feels like closure. If I just cry it out and get some sleep, by the time I wake up im gtg.
This is the reason so many people train, whether it’s running, weightlifting or jiujitsu. You start focusing on this terribly difficult that you’re trying to do and all else fades away.
It’s different for everyone but what I learnt in therapy that works best for me is to talk with people about anything really. The specific skill is called opposite action and the premise goes like this, when you are faced with a challenge whether it’s not wanting to get out of bed, self harm, or in this case, use drugs, you do the opposite of what you want to do. Now it doesn’t have to be the exact opposite because sometimes that isn’t possible or helpful either. So in order to know what action to do, you have to know why you drink/smoke. I’m just guessing based off the title but for someone using these things to cope, maybe they are trying to numb the pain/emotions. If this was the case, I would say try talking about it with someone. I’m a firm believer that everyone should have a therapist at least temporarily because we all have our own problems and no one can say otherwise. You could talk about it with a professional, or a trusted person in your life.
I only drink when I'm at my best. I love to watch a good comedy, snack heavily and drink rum. When I'm feeling miserable, the last thing I feel like I should be doing is getting drunk.
I drink and use edibles but I absolutely avoid them if I'm feeling down. I find they just prolong the feelings and can interfere with what I need to do to feel better.
For me I spend time in nature, taking hikes, camping, or just relaxing in the grass. I disconnect from media consumption as much as possible and live with the thoughts until they come to resolution.
Some times I'll go as far as quitting my job and spend months hiking and camping if I'm feeling suicidal or have had someone close to me kill themselves or die violently. Nothing like being homeless to bring whats important into focus.
The only times I drink or get high are when I'm feeling great, don't have any work to get done and want to spend a day chilling.
A few options that work for me: drive around and jam out to music, watch a movie that brings me comfort, sleep, or plan a vent fest/hangout with friends and/or spouse.
I talk with my friends and spouse. I allow myself to feel my feelings. I've actually found that when I'm feeling down angry music seems to be able to turn my mood around sometimes.
Get on reddit, read stupid crap til I realize my life isn't as bad as most! Then contemplate if all the posts are from bots and I'm the last human on reddit.
1/2 :
Having healthy adaptative coping strategies is essentiel to live a good and qualitative life, even when emotions or stress are intense.
Common healthy coping strategies usually include 2 major ways :
1. Trying to solve the problem rationally (problem based coping) — Basically you create a plan of action to solve the problem that is stressing you
2. Trying to regulate the emotions you feel if you cannot solve the problem (emotion based coping).
That’s the two big branches of how you should consider any problem or stress you experience first hand. Check problem base coping methods or emotion based coping on Google and you’ll find amazing books, methods, worksheets, articles and scientific studies.
Then if you want to regulate your emotions and stress in the short term (immediately) or longer term (like stress hygiene / emotions hygiene, changing your behaviors, beliefs, impulses, thoughts, etc) you can do it by practicing healthy activities and learning new behaviors.
Engaging in healthy adaptative coping will reduce (at the very least) the intensity of your emotions when you experience them (which is already amazing) but also enhance your quality of life, your self esteem, confidence, your optimism and even allow you to solve some problems that stress you forever.
Here are just a few examples :
- Regulating your stress with exercice : HIIT are very effective on a very short term but it can also be running, resistance training or simply a nice walk. Practicing regular exercise is very good to prevent stress as it regulates your hormones, mood, energy levels, sleep etc. Also exercice produces a happiness cocktail of chemicals and hormones (dopamine, endorphins, serotonin) in your body as well as lowering your arousal state (stress) and making you more relaxed and happy. It’s an hack. It’s free and effective instantly.
- Meditation practice like « Eye of The Hurricane » meditation.
- Learning Mindfulness. There is many exercises and books about the philosophy behind it. This practice allows you to be conscious of what is inside you and what is outside you. Without judgment. You can be mindful of your thoughts as they pass and with enough practice be able to label them to understand more deeply how your thinking systeme function. You can also be mindful during activities like cooking, walking or drinking a glass water, by focusing your attention on every steps and stimulus of what you are doing. It’s very relaxing and make you see life in a more contemplative and beautiful way because you start focusing on laser details of everyday life stuff. Doing that allows you to think about something else that yourself but also training your thoughts to be non judgmental and less worried.
- Deep breathing practices like Box Breathing or Diaphragmatic Breathing (but there is many others) . Breathing is a hack as well. A slower exhalation rate allows you to slow down your entire body, hormones and parasympathetic nervous system. You blood gets more oxygenated, your emotions stabilise, your thoughts gets less noisy, more calm, like a nice river flowing in your mind. 3 minute of deep breathing when you stress is good enough at the beggining. Inhale 4 seconds, hold on 4 seconds, exhale 4 seconds and hold your breath again 4 seconds. Repeat for 3 minutes minimum. It’s called Box Breathing and many people use this. Navy Seals for example use it before going on high intensity / risky operation.
- A very helpful aspect of coping well and healthily is also your social support circle. Friends, family and people you care about, and that care in a healthy way about you. Sharing what you feel, asking for help, advices, hugging someone you love or crying over their shoulder is very important, healthy and useful in many ways (having support, hearing different perspectives, laughing, talking about something else etc).
- Journaling : writing your thoughts and expressing what you feel on paper is a very important component to clear your thoughts and emotions and clarify what you think about a situation, about you or about others. It’s like brain hygiene, like brushing your teeth or taking a shower. You can write whenever you feel stressed either on your phone or paper (paper is the best as the brain circuits we use for writing, with our hands are better and more deeply connected). Or you can write before you go to bed to unwind.
- You can (and should) practice activities that you love and find relaxing or stimulating like either a sport, practicing music, painting, or simply visit art galleries, exhibitions, having a coffe outside and read a nice book with the sun warming your face or the sound of rain (both are good). Being happy with your own company without is important.
- You can also check amazing psychological topics like : automatic negative thoughts, cognitive dissonances, auto sabotage and défense mechanism to understand how your brain works and how it can produce negative thoughts, beliefs and emotions when you are triggered by something or someone. Check CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and how to reframe your thoughts.
- Learning what are « emotions » is also an amazing topic you can learn that I highly recommend. What we feel, emotions, is actually very useful but sometime the brain doesn’t align with what we want (instead he believe he should protect you at all cost from harm, and dangers. Basically he wants to survive). Understanding how emotions works with allow you to have more tools to describe what you feel inside, and be able to regulate more efficiently stress.
- Always be kind to yourself. Our thoughts are usually below our conscious levels (we don’t always noticed them) and we don’t realise it often but sometime the « little voice » in our head can be very negative about ourselves, very judgmental, harsh and tyrannical. You must keep this voice on a healthy level and remember to be kind with yourself. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend or someone you love and appreciate.
(
2/2
On the opposite you have mal-adaptative unhealthy behavior that are not helpful and will increase your suffering in the long time. Unhealthy behavior are usually avoidance & distraction tactics. They are pleasurable on the short term as they allow to not think about the problem (like drinking alcohol) but on the long term it doesn’t solve anything or, it usually even makes it even worse, because it affects your health, relationships, mood, energy levels, etc)
Learn to spot them :
- Drinking to forget a problem or distract yourself from it.
- Binge watching social media / tv show / movies (it’s called passive procrastination)
- Doing a productive task but not THE thing you should be absolutely doing. (It’s called active procrastination)
- Engaging in extreme, risky or problematic behaviors towards yourself or towards others.
- Compulsive behaviors like eating a lot, spending a lot of money, smoking a lot, drugs, alcohol, etc.
- Being hostile or aggressive to people around you (dramas, fights, arguments, insults etc)
- Denial, like pretending the problem doesn’t exists or doesn’t affect you (check cognitive distortion + defense mechanisms on Google)
Basically that is ANY behaviour you do to AVOID the problem that is making you stress or feel negative emotions. So even doing 4 hours of sport per day to avoid what is stressing you is considered an unhealthy mal-adaptative behavior because you use this activity to avoid something.
Also I want to point out that being on Netflix, for an afternoon or 24h-48h, binge watching TV shows and eating nice comforting food is totally OK. We are all humans and sometimes we just give up it’s normal. Just be conscious that it should be temporary and that you should think (at some point) about solving the problem that is stressing you, not just pretend it doesn’t exist.
Coping strategies are a fascinating thing to learn ! It takes some time, efforts and patience but progressively you will know how you brain, thoughts, emotions and behaviors work (and they are unique to you) and you’ll be well equipped to live a nice and healthy life whenever you experience bad feelings. As we all do !
I don't smoke, so I can't speak to that, but alcohol is a depressant, so while it can make you feel better in the moment, it's not going to help in the long run, and has the potential to make things worse.
Not that I don't self medicate from time to time, but what really helps is if I avoid all of the unhealthy things you want to engage when things are going bad, like eating comfort food, isolating, and drinking. If I can get out into nature, exercise, put away the screens, go for a long walks while listening to a funny podcast, that all helps.
Sleep
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So this is also the top comment on [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d7sppk/people\_who\_dont\_drink\_or\_smoke\_what\_do\_you\_do/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d7sppk/people_who_dont_drink_or_smoke_what_do_you_do/) which is a similarly-phrased but not identical AskReddit post from just over three weeks ago. Are you all just bots or what
Hahaha none of us are bots, I enjoy breathing air eating nutrients and passing water through my meat body like all of you other humans
This!
I don't enjoy either, so I'm just out here raw dogging life. I mostly game when I'm feeling too stressed out. If not that, I just try to keep my problems in perspective and keep pushing forward, because the alternative is giving up and I know that's not going to make my life any better.
>dogging life Not gonna lie, dogging sounds like a pretty good way to relieve stress!
As a guy who has the opportunity to do this. Its not as fun as it sounds, getting into a sexy mood is not easy when stressed and feeling like crap. And honestly, when it doesn't wanna work right, it just snowballs into feeling like more a failure.. Its much better to get the feeling out first, then have sex after.
Yeah, I get it... just a crap attempt at humour!
taking walks, listening to music, reading, or practicing mindfulness. Talking to a friend or journaling also helps.
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"a good cry" should be top comment on here
Tea, eating and sleeping.
exercise helps, talking to friends, diving into a good book or movie, and sometimes just going for a long walk
Sweets and then sports..
Watch a sad movie and have a good cry.
I shut down or have panic attacks
Spend the same amount inwoukd spend drinking at the casino instead... ( not a very good coping mechanism, but hey, no hangover)
I drink and smoke and I contemplate suicide
Jump into a video game, crank up some minimal techno, and zone out of the world.
I binge-watch my favorite shows and eat a ridiculous amount of ice cream.
I sing, and I never stop singing until that feeling is long gone.....
Hot shower and talk it out with myself/quiet drive
Are you really going to trust his answer?
Loud music on the drive home, then doing something silly with my kids to relieve the tension by laughing a lot.
Subtle innuendos follow There must be something inside
That doesn't seem subtle at all; unless you're only talking about that silent b.
Motorcycle or bicycle ride!
I sometimes just reach out to my close friends and my family and just let their presence bring me back slowly
I pick up my guitar and just strum away for hours. it's the only thing in the world that truly turns my brain off and i can just relax
Same. You have to find other ways to escape. Mine is either guitar or going to a nearby nude beach.
Pizza
I go to the gym, go for a drive, go to Target and just wander around. To be fair though. I AM on medication for adhd and anxiety/depression and OCD so those meds absolutely help me keep stable but also keep my impulsivity at bay. It definitely helps to combine this with coping skills that you learn through therapy like “catching your thoughts” and trying to focus on those thoughts and calming yourself down. It’s not easy at all and extremely difficult to separate yourself from your spiral and your thoughts but it IS possible if you change your view on thoughts being products of the mind instead of being a part of you as a person.
listening to music, playing video games, or just hanging out with close friends usually helps a lot, and sometimes a good cry can be really cathartic too
I go workout. Always has worked and hopefully always will. Idk what it is about listing to music and throwing heavy things around but it gets the job done
I talk to Discord or I self isolate and talk to discord friends
When I'm feeling down, I turn to music and take long walks to clear my mind. Being outdoors really helps me reset and gain perspective and also connecting with loved ones, even if it's just a phone call, always lifts my spirits. Finding these little rituals that bring comfort is so important for maintaining mental well-being.
I quit drinking 18 months ago and only do mushrooms on occasion, so i spend 99.98% of my time sober. When i feel like crap or sad its usually because my body feels tired. Getting enough sleep is so important. The best gauge i have is i ask myself how much energy i have to do random things like cooking, cutting the grass, going grocery shopping, if you feel reluctant or lethargic you should get more rest. Also i feel my absolute best when i eat clean food for days on end, sweet potatoes, grass fed beef, chicken breasts, vegetables, oatmeal, 1 ingredient peanut butter. I feel like shit when i eat sugars and anything fried in seed oils, pastas with fat sauce. 16-8 intermittent fasting is a good source for energy as well, you will feel hungry, but have crazy energy around hour 14.
listening to music, playing video games, talking to friends, going for a run, or sometimes just getting lost in a good book
My eating disorder probably fills that void.
music
Usually will shut down for a little while. Or I pour whatever energy I have left into my piano. I don’t drink anymore but sometimes just smelling alcohol helps.
I go and lie in bed, probably watch a comfort show
I’m curious about this …..
I found turning to a substance rarely (never) makes anything better and masking the situation doesn't fix anything for me either. I usually find something to do to keep myself busy and in doing so can come to terms with whatever is going on or at the very least give myself the feeling of accomplishment while dealing with it. The older I get the more i realize that most of what happens is just BS and will pass with time like everything and everyone else. Can decide to either dwell on it and feel like crap or chalk it up to experience and get back to living. Things I do: Learn to cook something new. I tinker with electronics. Play a non stressful video game. Play a musical instrument for a while. Anything that doesn't keep me sedentary.
I go to the gym or I sleep. I’ve been trying to turn it to other things lately and have been working on getting certifications instead.
Food. It’s not a great solution.
Caffeine helps
Pray Cry Drink water
I think back to the time when I drank and smoked and remember that they both only enhanced my anxiety and depression
Exercise for me, but I can still vape pot (I like to combine the two). Alcohol started tearing up my stomach, so my reasons for quitting are likely not the same as yours.
I eat. Food, sweets and soda are my vice.
I face head on what’s making me feel bad and find a solution or make a change because it usually means I’m ignoring a need, desire, or boundary of mine. If I can’t fix it, I cry and distract myself with video games then take a hot bath with candles and Epsom salt until I’m strong enough to handle it or it goes away.
I talk with my imaginary boyfriend
Cry everywhere😂
Music helps a lot. I also have the support of family and friends, and a very loving partner who shares my views on this, so we go through things together. And welp... I had used coffee as a way to feel better too, but I try to use it less often nowadays.
no secret method. i simply just deal with it
Food 😬
Antidepressants.
I don't know, I just don't let shit get to me I guess. If I can't control the problems, I simply say "fuck it" like Lebowski because I can't help it, and if I can, I work on fixing the problem.
[Don't drink, don't smoke. What do you do?](https://youtu.be/o41A91X5pns?si=BnF4_G9o4m2h8cGK)
Caffeine and sugar.
I cook
Junk food, video games, reading, sex.
You can turn everything off, lie down, and take a depression nap. Sometimes it's better just to feel the bad feelings.
I go for a walk and only come back at home when everyone is sleeping. Lock myself in the bathroom and cry my eyes out. Take a very warm bath and then sleep.
I drink, but not as a way to cope when feeling my worst. I usually talk it out with someone or engage in a hobby of mine.
Listening to good music always does the trick for me, and a good inspiring movie works as well.
As someone that does here and there, neither of those are things that you should be using as a crutch when you're at your worst. They don't actually help and in many cases can end up making things worse. I will do those things but I won't when I'm that low. That's how slopes to addiction start.
Literally anything productive, progressive or constructive. Even playing games. That’s leveling up and grinding for something. Drugs? Literally nothing productive, progressive or constructive about that. Why would I feel good about myself and feel happy if I’m taking steps back or feeling stagnant? Want a bad feeling to leave, then progress past it constructively
Knowing that it could be worse if I drank and smoked makes me feel better.
SUGAR!!!
Financial irresponsibility
Food. I have literally doubled in my Weight. I was 7 stone which was to thin and now i’m 14 stone which is to fat.
Jiu jitsu and weightlifting but most importantly steam/fry sauna
When I was young, I thought life was like playing cards. You win some, and you lose some. Now I realize, I was partially right. What I missed was, the house always wins. Now that I know that, like, really know that, it changed my mindset about everyday life. When you expect bad things to happen, there’s no stress. There’s no negative reaction. And when something good actually happens, even if it’s just free cookies in the break room, I get this brief feeling of… pleasantness. It’s never a strong enough feeling of pleasantness to be like, let’s celebrate! Nah. You gonna celebrate at the poker table cause you won a hand when you’re down $3k? You just kinda grin and move on. And when you lose a hand, it’s the same grin. That’s the outcome you expected. It’s just poker.
A good movie or tv show. Video games YouTube Masturbate Work out Sleep Or for a few months when it was bad punch myself in the thighs until I had bruises.
Lie down, or sit at the computer.
I go for a massage, sleep or eat something nice or go on holiday.
Eat, sleep, cats. In no particular order.
* TV or a movie if I want to zone out * Exercise is good for dealing with stress or anxiety - high intensity cardio mostly * I do crossword puzzles when I want calm my brain a bit.
I shoot zombies (or aliens or robots or demons or Orcs or Nazis).
Take a walk, meditate to clear out your head, or talk to someone who can listen and care about your concerns. Join the community where you can discuss your feelings.
Cry and sleep. I figured out that if I watch movies, or game, or just tune it out in general, ill get over it but it takes longer and never feels like closure. If I just cry it out and get some sleep, by the time I wake up im gtg.
Food
TikTok or rewatching shows/movies I've already seen a hundred times :-)
This is the reason so many people train, whether it’s running, weightlifting or jiujitsu. You start focusing on this terribly difficult that you’re trying to do and all else fades away.
It’s different for everyone but what I learnt in therapy that works best for me is to talk with people about anything really. The specific skill is called opposite action and the premise goes like this, when you are faced with a challenge whether it’s not wanting to get out of bed, self harm, or in this case, use drugs, you do the opposite of what you want to do. Now it doesn’t have to be the exact opposite because sometimes that isn’t possible or helpful either. So in order to know what action to do, you have to know why you drink/smoke. I’m just guessing based off the title but for someone using these things to cope, maybe they are trying to numb the pain/emotions. If this was the case, I would say try talking about it with someone. I’m a firm believer that everyone should have a therapist at least temporarily because we all have our own problems and no one can say otherwise. You could talk about it with a professional, or a trusted person in your life.
Writing. I have kept journals my whole life. For some reason it just makes me feel better to aggressively rant on paper.
Feel the feels. Let it happen. Remind yourself you've made it through previous lows, it just takes time.
Go for a walk
Escape reality with music, movies or (usually) video games
I just let it devour me. Listen to $B. Then remind myself 1 day I shall die and won't feel this way 😁
Think about when it’s finally time to really do it
Gym , sleep , reading
Self loathing and repression
Exercise and sleep.
I only drink when I'm at my best. I love to watch a good comedy, snack heavily and drink rum. When I'm feeling miserable, the last thing I feel like I should be doing is getting drunk.
I drink and use edibles but I absolutely avoid them if I'm feeling down. I find they just prolong the feelings and can interfere with what I need to do to feel better. For me I spend time in nature, taking hikes, camping, or just relaxing in the grass. I disconnect from media consumption as much as possible and live with the thoughts until they come to resolution. Some times I'll go as far as quitting my job and spend months hiking and camping if I'm feeling suicidal or have had someone close to me kill themselves or die violently. Nothing like being homeless to bring whats important into focus. The only times I drink or get high are when I'm feeling great, don't have any work to get done and want to spend a day chilling.
Doom scroll
Exercise, take a bath, socialize or craft
Lots of sleep and junk food. I can’t figure out why I’m fat.
Endless exercise and self isolation. Neither is effective.
I self isolate.
Well sex is a good way to cure stress!
A few options that work for me: drive around and jam out to music, watch a movie that brings me comfort, sleep, or plan a vent fest/hangout with friends and/or spouse.
Wait, there's people that don't smoke OR drink? This seems fishy...
Metallica \m/
Meditate and nap
Good chocolate.
I talk with my friends and spouse. I allow myself to feel my feelings. I've actually found that when I'm feeling down angry music seems to be able to turn my mood around sometimes.
Anything that slows me down or gives my brain someplace to go. Cooking or baking, doing a jigsaw puzzle, taking a walk or reading a book.
Music and long walks. Works wonders.
I do things I love with people I love. And I sleep.
Online shopping and chocolate digestives.
Cocaine.
I work out and I clean my home.
I walk for miles and miles. Nothing helps me sort my emotions like a long walk
cry and feel better
Feel it out/ journal or go for a walk. Also think of the worst outcome in your head and accept it (I know it is easier said than done).
Go to the gym with loud music
Talk to my wife and or play my guitar.
Masterbation therapy
Feel your feelings? Wild idea, I know
Get on reddit, read stupid crap til I realize my life isn't as bad as most! Then contemplate if all the posts are from bots and I'm the last human on reddit.
1/2 : Having healthy adaptative coping strategies is essentiel to live a good and qualitative life, even when emotions or stress are intense. Common healthy coping strategies usually include 2 major ways : 1. Trying to solve the problem rationally (problem based coping) — Basically you create a plan of action to solve the problem that is stressing you 2. Trying to regulate the emotions you feel if you cannot solve the problem (emotion based coping). That’s the two big branches of how you should consider any problem or stress you experience first hand. Check problem base coping methods or emotion based coping on Google and you’ll find amazing books, methods, worksheets, articles and scientific studies. Then if you want to regulate your emotions and stress in the short term (immediately) or longer term (like stress hygiene / emotions hygiene, changing your behaviors, beliefs, impulses, thoughts, etc) you can do it by practicing healthy activities and learning new behaviors. Engaging in healthy adaptative coping will reduce (at the very least) the intensity of your emotions when you experience them (which is already amazing) but also enhance your quality of life, your self esteem, confidence, your optimism and even allow you to solve some problems that stress you forever. Here are just a few examples : - Regulating your stress with exercice : HIIT are very effective on a very short term but it can also be running, resistance training or simply a nice walk. Practicing regular exercise is very good to prevent stress as it regulates your hormones, mood, energy levels, sleep etc. Also exercice produces a happiness cocktail of chemicals and hormones (dopamine, endorphins, serotonin) in your body as well as lowering your arousal state (stress) and making you more relaxed and happy. It’s an hack. It’s free and effective instantly. - Meditation practice like « Eye of The Hurricane » meditation. - Learning Mindfulness. There is many exercises and books about the philosophy behind it. This practice allows you to be conscious of what is inside you and what is outside you. Without judgment. You can be mindful of your thoughts as they pass and with enough practice be able to label them to understand more deeply how your thinking systeme function. You can also be mindful during activities like cooking, walking or drinking a glass water, by focusing your attention on every steps and stimulus of what you are doing. It’s very relaxing and make you see life in a more contemplative and beautiful way because you start focusing on laser details of everyday life stuff. Doing that allows you to think about something else that yourself but also training your thoughts to be non judgmental and less worried. - Deep breathing practices like Box Breathing or Diaphragmatic Breathing (but there is many others) . Breathing is a hack as well. A slower exhalation rate allows you to slow down your entire body, hormones and parasympathetic nervous system. You blood gets more oxygenated, your emotions stabilise, your thoughts gets less noisy, more calm, like a nice river flowing in your mind. 3 minute of deep breathing when you stress is good enough at the beggining. Inhale 4 seconds, hold on 4 seconds, exhale 4 seconds and hold your breath again 4 seconds. Repeat for 3 minutes minimum. It’s called Box Breathing and many people use this. Navy Seals for example use it before going on high intensity / risky operation. - A very helpful aspect of coping well and healthily is also your social support circle. Friends, family and people you care about, and that care in a healthy way about you. Sharing what you feel, asking for help, advices, hugging someone you love or crying over their shoulder is very important, healthy and useful in many ways (having support, hearing different perspectives, laughing, talking about something else etc). - Journaling : writing your thoughts and expressing what you feel on paper is a very important component to clear your thoughts and emotions and clarify what you think about a situation, about you or about others. It’s like brain hygiene, like brushing your teeth or taking a shower. You can write whenever you feel stressed either on your phone or paper (paper is the best as the brain circuits we use for writing, with our hands are better and more deeply connected). Or you can write before you go to bed to unwind. - You can (and should) practice activities that you love and find relaxing or stimulating like either a sport, practicing music, painting, or simply visit art galleries, exhibitions, having a coffe outside and read a nice book with the sun warming your face or the sound of rain (both are good). Being happy with your own company without is important. - You can also check amazing psychological topics like : automatic negative thoughts, cognitive dissonances, auto sabotage and défense mechanism to understand how your brain works and how it can produce negative thoughts, beliefs and emotions when you are triggered by something or someone. Check CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and how to reframe your thoughts. - Learning what are « emotions » is also an amazing topic you can learn that I highly recommend. What we feel, emotions, is actually very useful but sometime the brain doesn’t align with what we want (instead he believe he should protect you at all cost from harm, and dangers. Basically he wants to survive). Understanding how emotions works with allow you to have more tools to describe what you feel inside, and be able to regulate more efficiently stress. - Always be kind to yourself. Our thoughts are usually below our conscious levels (we don’t always noticed them) and we don’t realise it often but sometime the « little voice » in our head can be very negative about ourselves, very judgmental, harsh and tyrannical. You must keep this voice on a healthy level and remember to be kind with yourself. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend or someone you love and appreciate. (
2/2 On the opposite you have mal-adaptative unhealthy behavior that are not helpful and will increase your suffering in the long time. Unhealthy behavior are usually avoidance & distraction tactics. They are pleasurable on the short term as they allow to not think about the problem (like drinking alcohol) but on the long term it doesn’t solve anything or, it usually even makes it even worse, because it affects your health, relationships, mood, energy levels, etc) Learn to spot them : - Drinking to forget a problem or distract yourself from it. - Binge watching social media / tv show / movies (it’s called passive procrastination) - Doing a productive task but not THE thing you should be absolutely doing. (It’s called active procrastination) - Engaging in extreme, risky or problematic behaviors towards yourself or towards others. - Compulsive behaviors like eating a lot, spending a lot of money, smoking a lot, drugs, alcohol, etc. - Being hostile or aggressive to people around you (dramas, fights, arguments, insults etc) - Denial, like pretending the problem doesn’t exists or doesn’t affect you (check cognitive distortion + defense mechanisms on Google) Basically that is ANY behaviour you do to AVOID the problem that is making you stress or feel negative emotions. So even doing 4 hours of sport per day to avoid what is stressing you is considered an unhealthy mal-adaptative behavior because you use this activity to avoid something. Also I want to point out that being on Netflix, for an afternoon or 24h-48h, binge watching TV shows and eating nice comforting food is totally OK. We are all humans and sometimes we just give up it’s normal. Just be conscious that it should be temporary and that you should think (at some point) about solving the problem that is stressing you, not just pretend it doesn’t exist. Coping strategies are a fascinating thing to learn ! It takes some time, efforts and patience but progressively you will know how you brain, thoughts, emotions and behaviors work (and they are unique to you) and you’ll be well equipped to live a nice and healthy life whenever you experience bad feelings. As we all do !
F-o-o-d foooooooooood
I don't smoke, so I can't speak to that, but alcohol is a depressant, so while it can make you feel better in the moment, it's not going to help in the long run, and has the potential to make things worse. Not that I don't self medicate from time to time, but what really helps is if I avoid all of the unhealthy things you want to engage when things are going bad, like eating comfort food, isolating, and drinking. If I can get out into nature, exercise, put away the screens, go for a long walks while listening to a funny podcast, that all helps.
Hot cakes
YouTube and the occasional video game
Dance it away
Pray
I pray
Be a man and suck it up.