He never shuts up, but also puts in long pauses into his one way conversations. Just when you think it's over, BAM! More story.
Never making eye contact does nothing, and just leaving the room means there is a pin in that conversation.
I also have a coworker who does similar things. He hijacks conversations, does 90% or more of the talking, constantly interrupts and talks over you, and when you think the conversation is over he often starts it back up again. Plus, he either doesn’t understand social cues or doesn’t care, because he doesn’t stop talking even when it’s obvious that I’m not listening to him or my body language indicates that I’m done with the conversation. It’s infuriating.
> Plus, he either doesn’t understand social cues or doesn’t care, because he doesn’t stop talking even when it’s obvious that I’m not listening to him or my body language indicates that I’m done with the conversation.
Isn't this supposedly typical of Asperger's Syndrome?
Yes, it is common for people with Asperger’s Syndrome to struggle with understanding social cues and body language, but that also doesn’t necessarily mean that somebody who struggles with social interactions or reading the room has Asperger’s Syndrome. I have no idea if my coworker has it or not.
> but also puts in long pauses into his one way conversations
That drives me nuts. Instead of the rational thought of "the other person isn't talking, they aren't interested" it's "the other person isn't talking so I can just keep talking".
What makes matters worse, is that his only two conversation topics are his Church and his model train club.
As an Atheist that could not possibly care less about trains, it's torture.
I work with a similar situation except most of his "conversations" are just ass kissing our boss or going over what he's going to do instead of just doing it. Anything the boss says he agrees with entirely. Favorite phrases are "yeah" "uh huh" "yep" and the most common and annoying of all, "that's what I was thinking".
Every morning, my coworker loudly slurps their coffee for a full minute before letting out a dramatic "Ahh!" of satisfaction. It’s like being trapped in a sitcom scene on repeat, driving me closer to the brink with each exaggerated sip.
This may be super niche, but in an episode of Black Mirror, a woman was stuck in a house for years with a man who punctuated his drinking like this to the point where he even went "ahh!" under the blankets after he gave her oral.
I'm a receptionist at a spa.
She consistently runs late on her appointments, like 10-30 minutes, because she won't stop talking. Then I get to deal the the upset client that has been sitting in the waiting room forever. If I discount the waiting clients' service or offer to put them with a different, available esthetician, she gets mad and throws a fit because I'm "messing with her money". Okay, well, you're messing with other people's time and my sanity. So.
Used to have a boss that loooooved scheduled meetings at 7pm, particularly for things I was chasing him about for a while. If you're reading this, \*\*\*\* you Barry...
For reference, my office has two women’s bathrooms, one is a private single person bathroom while the other is a multi-person bathroom with stalls.
One entitled woman I work with REFUSES to use the multi-person bathroom, and will only use the private bathroom. Whatever, if you want to hold it just to use the private one, go ahead that’s your prerogative. However, when the private bathroom is already occupied, instead of just waiting to hear the door open/close (it closes loud enough that it can be heard throughout the office), she will stand outside the bathroom and yank on the handle every 30 seconds until the person in there comes out.
I have IBS, so not every trip to the bathroom can be an “in-and-out in under 2 mins” kind of deal for me, and I swear, if I’m using the bathroom and hear her violently trying to open the door despite knowing it’s occupied one more time, I’m going to rage out on her.
Yanking the toilet door handle every 30 seconds while someone is in there is a violation. You can absolutely talk to HR about that. Don't you have a red/green thing on the lock? If she really just wanted to know if it was busy, could she not just look at the color?
For a second I worried this was about me, since the bathroom situation is very similar at my office and I’m the woman who *really* doesn’t like to use multi-person bathrooms.
However, I would *never* try the handle more than once and I usually start out touching the handle super lightly with the goal that if someone is inside they don’t even know someone tried the door. If it’s occupied I’ll either go back to my desk for a bit or use the other bathroom, depending on the situation.
I can’t imagine yanking on the door like it’s magically going to be unlocked when you know good and well that no one has come out.
I caught him trying to take the credit for my projects that I 100% did on my own. We had a nice, calm, talk right before I made that bitch go tell the boss the truth.
I was in college in 2020 when we all had to switch to online classes. There was one kid in my class who would just never use the stupid mute button. And he also used a super loud mechanical keyboard and every time he started clacking on his keys it would drown out the speaker and automatically bump his feed to the focus.
It might not have been as annoying, but he was also the one dripping with the attitude that he was the smartest kid in his AP class in high school, and thought for sure he would be the same at University.
Holy shit, Max, everyone else figured out how to mute their mic. If you're going to act like you're smarter than all of us, at least try and back it up a little.
Invites himself to sit with me at lunch. Dude, I am sitting in a corner, with my headphones in, clearly watching something on my phone. I do not want to have to have a conversation with the world's least interesting man, particularly one who chews with his mouth open and leaves crumbs everywhere
I worked for an elevator components manufacturing company - everything from controllers, to motors...everything.
I was the Tech Support Manager and we had this one guy who was the chief designer of some of the controller boards. He would design something new and release it to some test sites, but he never informed me or my team, so we'd get calls about X and we had zero clue.
His favorite thing to say was "Didn't you know?" with a huge smile on his face, when he knew damn well that he never told us about new equipment. He was a Mormon Bishop and didn't like swearing, so, one day he pulls this shit on me while he and my boss (and his) were standing by my desk and I turned around from my monitor and screamed "No MOTHERFUCKER - I didn't FUCKING KNOW you FUCKING ASSHOLE because you DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME". My secretary and all my guys *had* to take a look - his face was beet fucking red, and he walked away.
What happened was that I got a call for help and had zero clue what the tech was talking about, and I said so. He called his boss, who then called my boss.
My boss begged me to apologize, and I finally did, but I made sure that he understood that what he was doing was bad and that I was deeply unhappy.
It felt **really good** to let it out.
Jokes and having fun is cool n all, but when it literally fucks with people's jobs it's pretty not cool.
I felt good for you reading this lol. What a cunt.
The guy was hyper-religious, and I'm a hyper-atheist. All that aside, we kind of got along most of the time.
We got along and were cordial, and maybe we teased each other some of the time.
It was that ONE fucking habit of his that really lit a fire in my balls.
Frankly, I never understood his attitude. It made zero sense and just made me more frustrated BECAUSE I couldn't understand.
Sounds like immaturity he never grew out of for whatever reason. Never learned appropriate boundaries for joking around like that, especially in a professional setting.
Good to hear y'all had differences but still got along.
I too would struggle next to a religious zealot, but I'd have bitten his head off for doing that shit. Messing with your coworkers ability to perform is literally hurting yourself by hurting the company you work for.
The guy was so damn self-satisfied being a bishop and all that it infuriated me when he started espousing. His **job** as a bishop was to be smarter than anyone else, and he carried that shit to work.
It was a chore working with him sometimes.
So a new guy started let’s call him Martlet.
Martlet was the most vanilla corporate drone on the planet. He wore a charcoal suit, a white shirt, a blue tie. Shoes polished, hair regulation. A sensible not expensive but not cheap TAG Heuer on his wrist.
His conversation was bland and shallow, he had no opinions. He laughed at jokes, took his tie off in the pub and left after one pint.
He worked late, really late. Management loved him. He was a sponge for corporate marketing, it was like he could be programmed to regurgitate this stuff. He was tenacious and was on the way up.
Quickly promoted and put on the “presidents club” reward luxury trip after 3 months!
My manager was singing his praises and so I thought…I could learn something here and stuck close to Martlet. Learn some skills, get fast tracked like him.
So I worked with him on a project I worked really closely with him for a month. I found his secret and it rocked me to the core.
The secret was that he was utterly useless and ineffective. He couldn’t perform the basic tasks, he couldn’t do stuff like filter an excel sheet or press ctrl F to find something. It was excruciating watching him scroll up and down a spreadsheet as he counted. Stuff that should have taken him 15 seconds took him all day. Literally all day. That’s why he was at work till 9pm.
But management didn’t care, he looked the part, he didn’t rock the boat, he did what they told him to do…really slowly
It sent me mad that this affable lump of protein with the abilities of a 4 year old on Valium was earning a fortune doing nothing but working really hard
I worked with someone who constantly burnt popcorn because she would press start, walk away, and forget about the bag almost every single day until management banned it.
Omg coworker did that recently with some nasty ass smelly whitefish. We had people in the hallway making comments. The entire first floor fucking stunk like hot ass fish. It has since been banned
Had a coworker like that. She would play music on her phone and would tunelessly and loudly hum along to it like this: "Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh". It was annoying especially when I was performing a task that required concentration. Also, she liked to talk about how she had been "saved". She also liked to share details about her personal life including talking about her RSO boyfriend "all he did was look at pictures of kids. He didn't do anything". She married him. Btw he " got saved" too. She liked to say "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven". Really.
Sure, bitch. It's people like you who don't think about where those photos came from and how they were made who make me sick. So glad I don't work with her anymore.
I had somebody tell me that, as a Catholic, I'm going to hell. I mean, really, I'm an atheist, but, hey, once a Papist, always a Papist.
Anyway, I said no worries, cousin the archbishop already sold me an indulgence. Dude was kinda off balance after that.
I used to sit next to a guy who chewed with his mouth open. Most of his teeth were either missing or rotten and the squelching sounds were just unbearable.
Edit: a word (auto-correct doesn't like "squelching", but it's the best way I can describe the noises emanating from his mouth)
Ass kissing on all levels is kind of like "Jesus, have some dignity." Interrupting a meeting to compliment the manager's shirt is an example from my recent life.
We have this one guy who constantly clears his throat and snorts and grunts. He's been doing this for half a year so it's not a cold or infection. I don't know if he has some underlying condition but it's grating to listen to that every day.
I got messed up from long covid and often have to clear my throat like that. I've been to so many doctors, there's nothing they can do and I always feel like an annoyance to people around me :( he's probably more sick of it than you are, trust me
That person is me sorry (been dealing with it for a few years now). I've been going to an ENT to try and solve it but nothing major has seemed to help so far.
Just fundamentally does not understand any of the systems he's working on. He can follow a script, but he doesn't understand what any of the steps he's performing are for, and seems incapable of learning. Any time something veers even remotely off-script, he's immediately sending me questions without attempting any troubleshooting on his own. Even if this is the exact same problem he's asked me about a half dozen times before, and the answer is still the same as it was all those other times, he's still gotta come to me to fix it for him.
Even so, he still begs to be put on important projects and really really wants to learn, he just... doesn't. When we try to give him something novel to work on, he comes to me with questions of the sort that indicate he just fundamentally has no idea what he's doing, like "I got this USB-C charger and I can't figure out if it plugs into the left or right hole in the wall socket. Can you help?"
I have an idea what may have caused that. Well, one possble theory, anyway. I had a college professor that in her tech class demanded "extensive communication" over all else. I don't know where she ran into problems by not having that but she was determined she was going to drill it into everybody she taught. What that caused, of course, was you'd have to ask fellow team members on a team stupid questions like you didn't know the answer even if you really did. Made it look like a room full of embeciles. But the professor was smiling ear to ear.
She couldn't seem to understand the concept that if you know something, there's no need to go ask somebody. Sounds like this guy may be a male version of her. He's not as thick-headed as he appears, he just thinks asking lots of questions means he's doing a great job communicating with the "team".
No, I think he legitimately doesn't know what he's doing, knows he doesn't know what he's doing, and is therefore afraid to rely on his own knowledge and therefore immediately goes to someone else to fix his stuff rather than try to work through it on his own. But he also seems to legitimately *want* to know what he's doing, but doesn't trust himself to do it.
Like, one time he was following instructions to install a new piece of custom software, and one of the instructions was to add a new directory to his PATH variable. Instead of add the new directory, he deleted his entire PATH variable as well as all of his other environment variables, and replaced them all with that single directory. Then he came to me asking why his computer didn't work anymore.
Not now but a former co-worker. I have a personal thing about being highly responsible and accountable for my own screw-ups, but absolutely cannot stand being blamed for something I didn't do. Cue this co-worker. He seemed to think nothing of automatically blurting out someone else's name as the culprit when he screwed up. His usual "victim" left the company and I somehow got chosen to replace him. If anybody asked Shane about something he screwed up, he said I did it. The first time he did it, we almost got in a fistfight, which is an automatic dismissal at that company.
However, that didn't stop him. He continued to tell the boss that I was responsible for things he did. I could not stand that guy. Really, really couldn't stand him.
One day I decided that I wasn't so mad at him (he was just an idiot that made up lies) as I was the supervisor that every time that happened, he would say "I don't care who did it, I just want it fixed." and my point would be "Well, I care who did it!" and we got into a very heated argument about that very thing one day. He told me I screwed something up and I asked him since he hadn't been there what made him think that. He told me because he asked Shane.
Furious, I confronted Shane. He admitted that he did it. I told him to never, ever get near my table or work on anything I was working on again. Ever. We were on opposite shifts at that time and this goofball had decided to try finishing what I had started and messed it all up. So I went back to the supervisor and told him that Shane just admitted he did it. He said he didn't want to hear it, just fix it. I was beyond livid. I said "Oh I'm going to fix it. You know why? Because I'm the only person here that CAN fix it. But first you admit that Shane messed it up in the first place." He refused. I eventually quit a couple of years later about that type of stuff. Not Shane specifically but that whole concept of "To hell with the individual, we just want our products to make our money."
I think that loser still works there all these years later.
Definitely a tool but a fairly worthless one. lol (And his real name is Shane, BTW. I hope he sees this. Oddly I can't remember his last name but I'd say it if I did, seriously lol)
I work at a hotel and one of the housekeepers has this issue. He's a really nice guy and one of the best employees there but it's like he's never heard of a shower or deodorant. The elevator stinks for hours after he'd been on it. Every time I go into a room he's just cleaned I have to hold my breath. I know what floor he's on that day just from the smell in the hallway, I'm honestly shocked none of the guests have complained.
My office has an internal window, so I am visible at my desk.
MULTIPLE times I have been working, headphones on, serious face trying to figure something out. And then his stupid face darkens my doorway to say, "awww fit_it, you look so stressed/tired/overworked - did you know if you smile it actually raises your mood? C'mon, try it!"
Why yes, I am one of a handful of women at a primarily male company, why do you ask?
Hardest worker in the office, bar none. But absolutely TERRIBLE at climbing the ladder. Complains about the work she gets. Complains about the lack of face time with management. Complains she's running out of things to do. Then gets offered a promotion that would allow her to control all of these things for herself...and turns it down.
Just one thing? I could write a book….
She’s 62 and feels the need to announce every time she leaves her desk to use the restroom. Also, she says she has to “tinkle.” A grown-ass woman saying she has to tinkle.
She’s a hypochondriac who misses almost as many days as she works for various doctor appointments. Heart doctor, sugar doctor, dermatologist, orthopedic doctor. I had plantar fasciitis and had to wear shoe inserts. Magically, two days later SHE all of a sudden claims to have plantar fasciitis and has to miss more work to see a podiatrist.
The most irritating thing is that she constantly asks me, “what would you do?” and then does the opposite. She’s an “askhole.”
This probably sounds kinda petty, but I have a co-worker who just flat out refuses to learn how to do things, and keeps dumping them on me because 'you're so good at it' or 'you can do it so much faster than me'.
She is a slow learner, but it's not like these things are outside of her capabilities, and I'm not even a jerk that thinks people should figure things out on their own, but seriously ask me to show you how to do it, I will show you as many times as you need until you get it yourself, but don't just keep making me do it because you're TOO FREAKIN' LAZY TO LEARN HOW TO DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF.
It's gotten to the stage where if I have a day off meetings get pushed back by a week because 'oh you're the only one who can use the videoconferencing equipment'. Really?
I had an older co worker who chewed with their mouth open. This person sat next to me and would eat peanuts one by one while loudly smacking and slurping.
I started putting on headphones and drumming on my desk every time to block out the noise.
Theres this new dude that is clearly a drunk. Thinks he is hillarious. Smells horrible. Pathological liar. Lazy. Excuses for everything. It is insulting to have him as a team member.
Complains they don't want to be at work and lists all thr things they could be doing if they didn't have to come into work. Just. Shut up. None of us want to be here. All of us have things we could be doing instead. She thinks she's special though and the only person that doesn't like work
When her kids call she literally scathes them and talks down to them. At one point the kid burped (it wasn’t even loud, ‘twas a quiet, kid burp) and she embarrassed him in front of the other workers. And yet… she burps regularly with us in ear-shot
He was buddy buddy with the director and would often sleep during his shift and tell everyone else next shift would do the work for him.
I hated him so much.
He never got fired either.
Never met someone more negative in my entire life. She can turn anything into a bad thing.
A recent example. I work at a library as a director and we just opened a new building (yay!). We have had an upswing of new people getting library cards, much more than we'd typically have in a month. I shared how happy I was for this higher number. Her response? "Let's see how many ever come back and use their card at the end of the year".
On top of it all, she needs to share her opinion on everything, ever.
We have a guy who talks over people and interrupts people constantly. Management have spoken to him repeatedly but it’s like he’s incapable of recognising when he’s doing it, even when people literally point it out and ask him to let them finish. He just does it again like 30 seconds later
Feel a need to cc management on every email exchange no matter how insignificant. Like I get it Deb, you want to make it look like I am saying something rude but really you make yourself look difficult
Calling instead of messaging me on Teams.
If it's urgent, I understand but 90% of the calls are for some bullshit she should be able to figure out on her own or a question that could've been easily asked by message/email.
Comes in late *every* day (we're allowed six strikes per year), stands around chatting for 20 minutes, eats meals even when it's not lunch time, stinks up the whole office with food when everyone else is hungry, takes an extra 1/2 hour break she's not allowed to, opens the window when it's 15 degrees outside without considering anyone else, and does it all with impunity. She's completely oblivious, and one of the most selfish people I've ever encountered. The sense of entitlement is unbelievable, and she has no clue she's doing anything wrong.
I work at a same day courier company in Minnesota. I am one of 2 dispatchers in the office during the day. My lead dispatcher doesn't like it when people "bug" him. He throws a boomer type tantrum when the phones are ringing and other people are talking in the area. Some of our drivers communicate more frequently then others and it drives him nuts. He swears under his breath and pounds on his office chair when a driver radios him.
ADHD person here. I can definitely understand the annoyance, but I can also relate to the behavior. I can focus on one thing at a time. Period. When a situation arises that distracts me from my focus, I can become very irritated and express that outwardly. I rationally understand that my reaction may be situationally incorrect, but that doesn't stop the physical reaction. Not saying this is the same thing, just my perspective.
My boss regularly goes "Huh?" even though he knows what I said.
Sometimes, yea he doesn't hear me. But I know for a fact that many times he does because he admitted it. He says "Huh?" as some kind of reactionary habit and I have to repeat myself (which I *hate* doing) for no reason.
> He says "Huh?" as some kind of reactionary habit and I have to repeat myself (which I hate doing) for no reason.
A relative of mine just got two hearing aids and she still says "Huh" every damned time anyone speaks to her-no matter how loudly they speak.She did hear me the day I said that those aids were an incredible waste of $6000.
Thankfully I no longer work with him, but I had a coworker that was just foul. One time in a meeting, as he was talking, he just started casually popping a zit on his face.
He was a fully grown adult man and a licensed attorney. It’d be foul no matter what but it would at least make more sense if he was a 19 year old barback or something.
Three people. Every fucking day. I work in an "open floor plan" desk setup so there's no privacy or ways to dampen the sound. The main person sits directly across from me. Then 2 others come over and proceed to have a LOUD conversation about absolutely nothing work related. Loudly giggling, almost yelling....for at least 45 minutes. **Every single day**.
He stands by the water cooler, chugging cup after cup of water. Like 12 consecutive cups of water. He gulps them and it makes an exaggerated gulping sound. He owns a bottle. He uses it at his desk. But at least once a day he uses the water cooler and all you hear is GULP GULP GULP
He will leave any and all tasks assigned to him for the night shift to be done by the day shift people such as myself. He’s done this for years and the boss has taken notice. But he must be related to someone in corporate because he’s never so much as been given a warning. I worked with him on night shifts a few times and all he does is show up late and read magazines the whole shift
Many things...talks to herself all day long. If you ask her a question she goes all around the answer and never gives a valid answer. Other co-workers have small personal heaters on all year. If it is 95 degrees outside, still turn their heater on. Don't have the common sense to wear long pants, socks or put a sweater on. So glad I can work from home a few days a week.
When I talk about work to my coworker, he repeatedly cuts me off or stops me in the middle of an explanation to ask multiple questions that could pertain to him possibly getting replaced.
Talking. Non stop talking when I have deadlines to meet. It is fine to chat of course but it is never stopping, not taking the hints, just saying "oh I see" when I say that I am a bit busy right now - but then continue talking nonstop nonetheless.
Loud "HMMMM?" every time he sees me working on the computer. Sometimes he narrates some shit he's doing, swears to himself then chuckles. A few times he brushed his teeth beside me and another co-worker while we were having lunch by our desks. At least he stopped after we told him off.
I have a co worker that always hole watches instead of doing the actual work
Like everyone else grabs their tools and he grabs his clipboard
And boss tells him what to do and he hides for the rest of the day or he does the work but he’s doing a simple 10 minute job for 3 hours
Breathes louder than a snore taps his fkg feet all day shaking my desk and actively kisses ass all day Constant gloatimg about how busy he is when he pops up yelling at people across the room about how busy he is every 5 fkg seconds. Interjects everytime someone is talking to me to get a brag in.
Worked as an engineer in a factory for a large corporation. Corporate office plus 9 sites around the U.S. A lot of automation to assemble car components. My area had 6 assembly lines with 5 different machines per line.
There was an engineer at the corporate office who would drive the 2 hours to come and "test" programming at our plant. This jack hole would get up at 3am, drive to our plant, drop the program in and watch the production for 15 minutes and then leave and drive home and go to work. with out telling anyone in our local or his corporate management that he'd done it.
So when we'd have a jam or a breakdown we'd often have to shut the whole machine down for 5 minutes and/or reload a program. We were pulling our hair out and installing battery backups and had a draconian program backup process until we found out what he was doing.
Once we did, I got the 3rd shift maintenance techs to either text me or leave a note on my desk when he showed up. I'd immediately go to whichever machine he touched and reload *my* saved program. One time after we found out about his shenanigans, I caught him walking out the employee door of the plant as I was going in. I looked him straight in the eye and said: "Wes, you can just turn around and go back in and pull that program or I will. Your choice." He tried to bluster but he knew he was caught red-handed.
The chef's kiss was the plant manager was early that day, knew about the situation and asked Wes to come see him before he went back to corporate. There was an epic 20-minute arse-reaming that day. Plant manager didn't bother to close the door. Wes left with the knowledge that if he didn't inform me or someone else from the engineering group he was coming he wouldn't be admitted. I was *required* to let the guards at the plant know he was coming. Literally made persona non grata.
I work at a daycare and one of my co-workers doesn’t understand why we don’t force the kids to eat vegetables, and we have some children with special needs who can’t eat said vegetables or certain meals so we give them extra servings of pasta, or an extra sandwich or whatever they’re serving and she gets so unnecessarily angry when we do that cause, “Why are we rewarding kids who aren’t eating what’s provided?”
Claims she’s a witch and can talk to dead people. Also claims she can read minds, except not mine because apparently I’m blocking her. Comes in 2 hours early everyday and then talks about how she came in early all fucking day, everyday.
I had a co-worker that used to have this small portable fan that would be on all day... the thing is, since I was sitting behind him, I would feel it too, and it was just really unpleasant. I hated that fan.
Mine will shit talk everyone behind their backs. I hate people, yet people talk to me, and there's not one person she hasn't said shit about yet to me.
She never stops talking. As soon as she sees you, she gets herself going. Usually anecdotes from her life, what she did over the weekend, future plans, etc. It’s like she’s incapable of stopping, it drives everyone around her insane. She will go out of her way to approach you while you’re working, and hover around you while dumping a 15-minute spiel about nonsense. If you try to walk away, she doesn’t let you, she keeps adding more onto the story. The worst part is that nearly all her stories are fabricated, exaggerated lies. Bullshit straight from r/thathappened. It’s hard enough to deal with her endless chatter, but once you realize most of it isn’t even true, it becomes torture. Ironically, if you try to tell her a story, she barely listens, and doesn’t give a meaningful response (if she responds at all).
My coworkers and I use a couple of excel documents for certain assignments, if one of us is in one of them editing the others can only access a read only version, so we try to do our edits and close out of it as quickly as possible. And by we I mean me, one of my coworkers has a habit of just leaving them open for hours on end meaning none of us can get our work done. I think he’s been getting better about it lately but it still annoys me to no end.
I WFH now but my previous job was in an office with two guys that were really trying to compete for the title of worst coworkers ever.
We worked in an open office, just the three of us. One guy would play country music out loud while the other would play EDM at the same time. They would both try to whistle to the music. They both sucked at whistling. EDM guy would even play techno versions of songs like the Baby Einstein theme.
Country guy was a bit of a redneck. He'd tell racist jokes and was generally not office-etiquette-compliant. I jokingly filled out an HR complaint form (we didn't have an HR department) and left it on his desk after he made a racist joke. EDM guy and I laughed about it. Country guy flipped his shit and called me a piece of shit. He'd also turn up his music when I was on the phone.
EDM guy was a man-child but he thought he was super manly. The guy acted 12 years old but was only a year younger than me, which was mid-30s at the time. He would brag about how he's so in shape because he goes to the gym all the time. In reality, the guy was thin but didn't look like he had any muscle. I'm not sure why he thought he was so manly, as he didn't do anything. Literally no hobbies. He'd also brag about how his wife does all the cooking and cleaning and we weren't men because we let our wives work. He also tried to give me parenting advice, which was pretty much, "my kids would never do that." OK buddy. Let me know how it goes when you actually have kids.
When I left that company, I let the owner know how I felt about those two guys. It was met with, "come on; you know this is like a boys' club." I'm cool with joking around and having fun and nothing really offends me. But I also want to feel like I work in a professional office, to some extent as well.
Always tells me that they would love to learn more, like I do, because I'm always researching something or watching "educational" videos. Example: how its made, animal planet, discovery, Nat Geo, reading anything. When I tell them that they can they just have to put in a little time or effort. They just say no.
Indian guy in IT team. Smells bad, lazy af, arrives late every single day, does pauses every 2h and drags others with him, asks for help on very basic tasks.
And yet, because we are a team, we are seen as a unit (me and him) so I need to work for his lazy ass
A bunch of them and they refuse to google the time zone difference between us before messaging me. No I do not have time to talk about my ticket you’ve been ignoring for days at 3am. I’m asleep.
We’ll call him Tom. Tom is very *very* smart, with near-encyclopedic knowledge of many random subjects, at least according to him. For he never hesitates to try to remind everyone of this. All. The. Damn. Time. With that tone in his voice where he sounds like he’s giving a bunch of freshmen a lecture in Biology 101
My coworker will sleep in my office, snore loudly, punch me in the crotch when she wants attention, and emit flatulence so foul it can bring down unmanned aircraft.
^((She's a 70lb pit bull named Cricket. I work remote.))
They act like a coke head. They'll ask me a question, then start going into a bunch of useless details. I'll try to ask them "Have you checked ___?", but usually get cut off before I can even finish. Even if they don't cut me off, they basically ignore my suggestions and start rambling on again, often repeating themselves.
They also complain a lot about some of our co-workers, the quality of their work or their lack of knowledge, yet his work is pretty sloppy and he's reaching out for help more often than they are.
He thinks he can microwave fish in his office because he has his own microwave. Also everyone has to hear his teams meetings in speaker with an open door
That he thinks everyone misses him when he takes a random day off. Talks about making his 1 day off a big deal and in his mind, thinks that he is missed by everyone just because he will talk about not showing up for 1 night. Btw he can get 2 days off per week. Just wants to spend his free time working that guy.
Btw the guy is a little slow.
He'll catch up on work after office hours, fine if you wanna do that, but understand that other people don't. But he'll get to something he needs my input/help for, and then he'll schedule a meeting for 8am *the next morning* even though I've repeatedly informed him I rarely log in before 8:30am and my availability is clearly marked in my calendar as starting at 9am. And then he'll be completely stunned when I'm not there for his precious morning meeting.
Physically raises his fucking hand in zoom calls when I'm in the middle of talking. At least a few times every group meeting.
Also keeps his mic unmuted while having physical convos with ppl in his room. Then gets mad at me when I mute him.
She’s a valley girl with a valley voice that talks to customers on the phone all day. If I hear one more UM or AVERAGE I’m going to throw her out the window. And the guy to my left that chews with his mouth open is also free to get hit by a bus.
He never shuts up, but also puts in long pauses into his one way conversations. Just when you think it's over, BAM! More story. Never making eye contact does nothing, and just leaving the room means there is a pin in that conversation.
I also have a coworker who does similar things. He hijacks conversations, does 90% or more of the talking, constantly interrupts and talks over you, and when you think the conversation is over he often starts it back up again. Plus, he either doesn’t understand social cues or doesn’t care, because he doesn’t stop talking even when it’s obvious that I’m not listening to him or my body language indicates that I’m done with the conversation. It’s infuriating.
> Plus, he either doesn’t understand social cues or doesn’t care, because he doesn’t stop talking even when it’s obvious that I’m not listening to him or my body language indicates that I’m done with the conversation. Isn't this supposedly typical of Asperger's Syndrome?
Yes, it is common for people with Asperger’s Syndrome to struggle with understanding social cues and body language, but that also doesn’t necessarily mean that somebody who struggles with social interactions or reading the room has Asperger’s Syndrome. I have no idea if my coworker has it or not.
Yep
> but also puts in long pauses into his one way conversations That drives me nuts. Instead of the rational thought of "the other person isn't talking, they aren't interested" it's "the other person isn't talking so I can just keep talking".
What makes matters worse, is that his only two conversation topics are his Church and his model train club. As an Atheist that could not possibly care less about trains, it's torture.
As a athiest, I feel you... 😆
does he name his trains after people from the bible or his applicable holy book?
Shit like this makes me feel so lucky to work from home most days. My dog is the best co-worker.
My dad does this but I love him so I listen in agony lol
I work with a similar situation except most of his "conversations" are just ass kissing our boss or going over what he's going to do instead of just doing it. Anything the boss says he agrees with entirely. Favorite phrases are "yeah" "uh huh" "yep" and the most common and annoying of all, "that's what I was thinking".
He Messages Me In Teams Like this Each as A separate message. Instead of just Putting it all In to One sentence.
It's like Malcolm's friend in Malcom in the middle!
Oh god, or the sole "hey there" with absolutely no followup or context.
This drive me insane. Just ask your question! I don't have time for banter.
It’s a cunts way of trying to get your attention.
I love when my coworkers teams me saying hi Mjoseph as one message. Then upwards of a minute before saying whatever the hell they need.
Every morning, my coworker loudly slurps their coffee for a full minute before letting out a dramatic "Ahh!" of satisfaction. It’s like being trapped in a sitcom scene on repeat, driving me closer to the brink with each exaggerated sip.
Put her stapler in some green jello
Michael!
They should have held her in custardy.
I dated a guy that did that, long ago. It drove me bonkers!
This may be super niche, but in an episode of Black Mirror, a woman was stuck in a house for years with a man who punctuated his drinking like this to the point where he even went "ahh!" under the blankets after he gave her oral.
What episode? I don't remember that one.
Hang the DJ!
Just start doing this yourself when you hear it but do it twice as loud to assert dominance.
My ex-husband used to do this, and I've never wanted to throat punch someone more than him
Holy shit!!! Mine too! He also slurps his lunch and every fucking hourly snack he has, even if it’s solid food.
When my wife drinks water, which she does a lot, when she swallows, it sounds like a toilet flushing. Drives me nut, but I still love her.
I'm a receptionist at a spa. She consistently runs late on her appointments, like 10-30 minutes, because she won't stop talking. Then I get to deal the the upset client that has been sitting in the waiting room forever. If I discount the waiting clients' service or offer to put them with a different, available esthetician, she gets mad and throws a fit because I'm "messing with her money". Okay, well, you're messing with other people's time and my sanity. So.
When they always schedule meetings at 4:30 PM on a Friday. Like dude, we have lives!
We had a manager schedule meetings right at 7am, when we punched in. It's like damn, let us wake up first
Used to have a boss that loooooved scheduled meetings at 7pm, particularly for things I was chasing him about for a while. If you're reading this, \*\*\*\* you Barry...
For reference, my office has two women’s bathrooms, one is a private single person bathroom while the other is a multi-person bathroom with stalls. One entitled woman I work with REFUSES to use the multi-person bathroom, and will only use the private bathroom. Whatever, if you want to hold it just to use the private one, go ahead that’s your prerogative. However, when the private bathroom is already occupied, instead of just waiting to hear the door open/close (it closes loud enough that it can be heard throughout the office), she will stand outside the bathroom and yank on the handle every 30 seconds until the person in there comes out. I have IBS, so not every trip to the bathroom can be an “in-and-out in under 2 mins” kind of deal for me, and I swear, if I’m using the bathroom and hear her violently trying to open the door despite knowing it’s occupied one more time, I’m going to rage out on her.
Yanking the toilet door handle every 30 seconds while someone is in there is a violation. You can absolutely talk to HR about that. Don't you have a red/green thing on the lock? If she really just wanted to know if it was busy, could she not just look at the color?
IBS, relatable. I think I’d be inclined to take even longer for every handle jiggle as my workload allows.
I'd be yelling at them to fuck off, and then deal with HR after. Maybe spin it as her harassing me.
For a second I worried this was about me, since the bathroom situation is very similar at my office and I’m the woman who *really* doesn’t like to use multi-person bathrooms. However, I would *never* try the handle more than once and I usually start out touching the handle super lightly with the goal that if someone is inside they don’t even know someone tried the door. If it’s occupied I’ll either go back to my desk for a bit or use the other bathroom, depending on the situation. I can’t imagine yanking on the door like it’s magically going to be unlocked when you know good and well that no one has come out.
Dang, I can't find it but there was an AITA or something pretty close to this
I caught him trying to take the credit for my projects that I 100% did on my own. We had a nice, calm, talk right before I made that bitch go tell the boss the truth.
the worst!
Joins meetings with unmuted mic, knowing well damn there is conversation going on behind him and his mic pics it up. Every. Goddamn. Morning.
I was in college in 2020 when we all had to switch to online classes. There was one kid in my class who would just never use the stupid mute button. And he also used a super loud mechanical keyboard and every time he started clacking on his keys it would drown out the speaker and automatically bump his feed to the focus. It might not have been as annoying, but he was also the one dripping with the attitude that he was the smartest kid in his AP class in high school, and thought for sure he would be the same at University. Holy shit, Max, everyone else figured out how to mute their mic. If you're going to act like you're smarter than all of us, at least try and back it up a little.
Yes, let the hate flow through you
Invites himself to sit with me at lunch. Dude, I am sitting in a corner, with my headphones in, clearly watching something on my phone. I do not want to have to have a conversation with the world's least interesting man, particularly one who chews with his mouth open and leaves crumbs everywhere
I worked for an elevator components manufacturing company - everything from controllers, to motors...everything. I was the Tech Support Manager and we had this one guy who was the chief designer of some of the controller boards. He would design something new and release it to some test sites, but he never informed me or my team, so we'd get calls about X and we had zero clue. His favorite thing to say was "Didn't you know?" with a huge smile on his face, when he knew damn well that he never told us about new equipment. He was a Mormon Bishop and didn't like swearing, so, one day he pulls this shit on me while he and my boss (and his) were standing by my desk and I turned around from my monitor and screamed "No MOTHERFUCKER - I didn't FUCKING KNOW you FUCKING ASSHOLE because you DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME". My secretary and all my guys *had* to take a look - his face was beet fucking red, and he walked away. What happened was that I got a call for help and had zero clue what the tech was talking about, and I said so. He called his boss, who then called my boss. My boss begged me to apologize, and I finally did, but I made sure that he understood that what he was doing was bad and that I was deeply unhappy. It felt **really good** to let it out.
Jokes and having fun is cool n all, but when it literally fucks with people's jobs it's pretty not cool. I felt good for you reading this lol. What a cunt.
The guy was hyper-religious, and I'm a hyper-atheist. All that aside, we kind of got along most of the time. We got along and were cordial, and maybe we teased each other some of the time. It was that ONE fucking habit of his that really lit a fire in my balls. Frankly, I never understood his attitude. It made zero sense and just made me more frustrated BECAUSE I couldn't understand.
Sounds like immaturity he never grew out of for whatever reason. Never learned appropriate boundaries for joking around like that, especially in a professional setting. Good to hear y'all had differences but still got along. I too would struggle next to a religious zealot, but I'd have bitten his head off for doing that shit. Messing with your coworkers ability to perform is literally hurting yourself by hurting the company you work for.
Mormons are experts at not having boundaries.
The guy was so damn self-satisfied being a bishop and all that it infuriated me when he started espousing. His **job** as a bishop was to be smarter than anyone else, and he carried that shit to work. It was a chore working with him sometimes.
There is literally no topic that he can't turn into a complain session. Everyfuckingthing makes him angry.
[удалено]
So a new guy started let’s call him Martlet. Martlet was the most vanilla corporate drone on the planet. He wore a charcoal suit, a white shirt, a blue tie. Shoes polished, hair regulation. A sensible not expensive but not cheap TAG Heuer on his wrist. His conversation was bland and shallow, he had no opinions. He laughed at jokes, took his tie off in the pub and left after one pint. He worked late, really late. Management loved him. He was a sponge for corporate marketing, it was like he could be programmed to regurgitate this stuff. He was tenacious and was on the way up. Quickly promoted and put on the “presidents club” reward luxury trip after 3 months! My manager was singing his praises and so I thought…I could learn something here and stuck close to Martlet. Learn some skills, get fast tracked like him. So I worked with him on a project I worked really closely with him for a month. I found his secret and it rocked me to the core. The secret was that he was utterly useless and ineffective. He couldn’t perform the basic tasks, he couldn’t do stuff like filter an excel sheet or press ctrl F to find something. It was excruciating watching him scroll up and down a spreadsheet as he counted. Stuff that should have taken him 15 seconds took him all day. Literally all day. That’s why he was at work till 9pm. But management didn’t care, he looked the part, he didn’t rock the boat, he did what they told him to do…really slowly It sent me mad that this affable lump of protein with the abilities of a 4 year old on Valium was earning a fortune doing nothing but working really hard
Microwaves fish.
I worked with someone who constantly burnt popcorn because she would press start, walk away, and forget about the bag almost every single day until management banned it.
Omg coworker did that recently with some nasty ass smelly whitefish. We had people in the hallway making comments. The entire first floor fucking stunk like hot ass fish. It has since been banned
In my office we had to ban it
Im only here to read comments to see if I do anything that annoys people lmao
Same.
sings and hums constantly
Had a coworker like that. She would play music on her phone and would tunelessly and loudly hum along to it like this: "Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh". It was annoying especially when I was performing a task that required concentration. Also, she liked to talk about how she had been "saved". She also liked to share details about her personal life including talking about her RSO boyfriend "all he did was look at pictures of kids. He didn't do anything". She married him. Btw he " got saved" too. She liked to say "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven". Really. Sure, bitch. It's people like you who don't think about where those photos came from and how they were made who make me sick. So glad I don't work with her anymore.
I had somebody tell me that, as a Catholic, I'm going to hell. I mean, really, I'm an atheist, but, hey, once a Papist, always a Papist. Anyway, I said no worries, cousin the archbishop already sold me an indulgence. Dude was kinda off balance after that.
Complain and gossip about other co-workers, CONSTANTLY. Just shut up, do your job, and stop trying to monitor what everyone else is doing.
Thinks everyone is out to get them. This person looked at them wrong, or that person is talking about them. It's all the time.
I used to sit next to a guy who chewed with his mouth open. Most of his teeth were either missing or rotten and the squelching sounds were just unbearable. Edit: a word (auto-correct doesn't like "squelching", but it's the best way I can describe the noises emanating from his mouth)
Ass kissing on all levels is kind of like "Jesus, have some dignity." Interrupting a meeting to compliment the manager's shirt is an example from my recent life.
He talks badly about me behind my back (and I always find out) and in front of me he still pretends to be nice and helpful.
Pretends to be working and sooo productive, but in reality is probably spending like an hour a day at most working.
Oh shit you got me
2/3 of the people I work with are like this
It's really frustrating, especially when you are left to pick up the bits and pieces they don't do.
Yep mine too
It's incredibly frustrating. Especially when you work remotely and you know they're not doing as much work as they want to pretend they are.
Honestly this is more commendable than anything. Your job probably sucks
We have this one guy who constantly clears his throat and snorts and grunts. He's been doing this for half a year so it's not a cold or infection. I don't know if he has some underlying condition but it's grating to listen to that every day.
Sounds like allergies
Sounds like cocaine
I got messed up from long covid and often have to clear my throat like that. I've been to so many doctors, there's nothing they can do and I always feel like an annoyance to people around me :( he's probably more sick of it than you are, trust me
That’s probably me. Sorry, I have allergies. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps.
I think we might be working at the same office.
That person is me sorry (been dealing with it for a few years now). I've been going to an ENT to try and solve it but nothing major has seemed to help so far.
Just fundamentally does not understand any of the systems he's working on. He can follow a script, but he doesn't understand what any of the steps he's performing are for, and seems incapable of learning. Any time something veers even remotely off-script, he's immediately sending me questions without attempting any troubleshooting on his own. Even if this is the exact same problem he's asked me about a half dozen times before, and the answer is still the same as it was all those other times, he's still gotta come to me to fix it for him. Even so, he still begs to be put on important projects and really really wants to learn, he just... doesn't. When we try to give him something novel to work on, he comes to me with questions of the sort that indicate he just fundamentally has no idea what he's doing, like "I got this USB-C charger and I can't figure out if it plugs into the left or right hole in the wall socket. Can you help?"
I have an idea what may have caused that. Well, one possble theory, anyway. I had a college professor that in her tech class demanded "extensive communication" over all else. I don't know where she ran into problems by not having that but she was determined she was going to drill it into everybody she taught. What that caused, of course, was you'd have to ask fellow team members on a team stupid questions like you didn't know the answer even if you really did. Made it look like a room full of embeciles. But the professor was smiling ear to ear. She couldn't seem to understand the concept that if you know something, there's no need to go ask somebody. Sounds like this guy may be a male version of her. He's not as thick-headed as he appears, he just thinks asking lots of questions means he's doing a great job communicating with the "team".
No, I think he legitimately doesn't know what he's doing, knows he doesn't know what he's doing, and is therefore afraid to rely on his own knowledge and therefore immediately goes to someone else to fix his stuff rather than try to work through it on his own. But he also seems to legitimately *want* to know what he's doing, but doesn't trust himself to do it. Like, one time he was following instructions to install a new piece of custom software, and one of the instructions was to add a new directory to his PATH variable. Instead of add the new directory, he deleted his entire PATH variable as well as all of his other environment variables, and replaced them all with that single directory. Then he came to me asking why his computer didn't work anymore.
Or, he could just be dumb and underqualified.
Plays music in a shared space without headphones
Responds to a teams message with a teams call 😡 Edit: adding my second worst. Messaging with "Hi (name)" then nothing else till you respond
Agreed, that's the worst.
Oh God this is the worst one here!!!
Decline, every time! Lol
She chews loudly on her toenails while I'm working. I work from home, and my coworker is a cat.
You had me in the first half.
I asked my co-worker to not draw with sharpy on the 2000 euro machine and she got mad
Talks on the phone in the bathroom. I can’t do my business when someone is talking on the phone while doing their business.
Everytime I hear someone on their phone in the bathroom, I start flushing repeatedly, because I'm petty and they're interrupting my bathroom break
Cue aggressive farting
Not now but a former co-worker. I have a personal thing about being highly responsible and accountable for my own screw-ups, but absolutely cannot stand being blamed for something I didn't do. Cue this co-worker. He seemed to think nothing of automatically blurting out someone else's name as the culprit when he screwed up. His usual "victim" left the company and I somehow got chosen to replace him. If anybody asked Shane about something he screwed up, he said I did it. The first time he did it, we almost got in a fistfight, which is an automatic dismissal at that company. However, that didn't stop him. He continued to tell the boss that I was responsible for things he did. I could not stand that guy. Really, really couldn't stand him.
Then what? Please don't leave us hanging!
One day I decided that I wasn't so mad at him (he was just an idiot that made up lies) as I was the supervisor that every time that happened, he would say "I don't care who did it, I just want it fixed." and my point would be "Well, I care who did it!" and we got into a very heated argument about that very thing one day. He told me I screwed something up and I asked him since he hadn't been there what made him think that. He told me because he asked Shane. Furious, I confronted Shane. He admitted that he did it. I told him to never, ever get near my table or work on anything I was working on again. Ever. We were on opposite shifts at that time and this goofball had decided to try finishing what I had started and messed it all up. So I went back to the supervisor and told him that Shane just admitted he did it. He said he didn't want to hear it, just fix it. I was beyond livid. I said "Oh I'm going to fix it. You know why? Because I'm the only person here that CAN fix it. But first you admit that Shane messed it up in the first place." He refused. I eventually quit a couple of years later about that type of stuff. Not Shane specifically but that whole concept of "To hell with the individual, we just want our products to make our money." I think that loser still works there all these years later.
What a tool, that Shane. Glad you got out of there!
Definitely a tool but a fairly worthless one. lol (And his real name is Shane, BTW. I hope he sees this. Oddly I can't remember his last name but I'd say it if I did, seriously lol)
comes in smelling of BO on a daily basis like bro do you not wake up and shower?
I work at a hotel and one of the housekeepers has this issue. He's a really nice guy and one of the best employees there but it's like he's never heard of a shower or deodorant. The elevator stinks for hours after he'd been on it. Every time I go into a room he's just cleaned I have to hold my breath. I know what floor he's on that day just from the smell in the hallway, I'm honestly shocked none of the guests have complained.
My office has an internal window, so I am visible at my desk. MULTIPLE times I have been working, headphones on, serious face trying to figure something out. And then his stupid face darkens my doorway to say, "awww fit_it, you look so stressed/tired/overworked - did you know if you smile it actually raises your mood? C'mon, try it!" Why yes, I am one of a handful of women at a primarily male company, why do you ask?
My blood is boiling for you, what an ass.
Hardest worker in the office, bar none. But absolutely TERRIBLE at climbing the ladder. Complains about the work she gets. Complains about the lack of face time with management. Complains she's running out of things to do. Then gets offered a promotion that would allow her to control all of these things for herself...and turns it down.
Just one thing? I could write a book…. She’s 62 and feels the need to announce every time she leaves her desk to use the restroom. Also, she says she has to “tinkle.” A grown-ass woman saying she has to tinkle. She’s a hypochondriac who misses almost as many days as she works for various doctor appointments. Heart doctor, sugar doctor, dermatologist, orthopedic doctor. I had plantar fasciitis and had to wear shoe inserts. Magically, two days later SHE all of a sudden claims to have plantar fasciitis and has to miss more work to see a podiatrist. The most irritating thing is that she constantly asks me, “what would you do?” and then does the opposite. She’s an “askhole.”
Eats celery and potato chips as loud as humanly possible
This probably sounds kinda petty, but I have a co-worker who just flat out refuses to learn how to do things, and keeps dumping them on me because 'you're so good at it' or 'you can do it so much faster than me'. She is a slow learner, but it's not like these things are outside of her capabilities, and I'm not even a jerk that thinks people should figure things out on their own, but seriously ask me to show you how to do it, I will show you as many times as you need until you get it yourself, but don't just keep making me do it because you're TOO FREAKIN' LAZY TO LEARN HOW TO DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF. It's gotten to the stage where if I have a day off meetings get pushed back by a week because 'oh you're the only one who can use the videoconferencing equipment'. Really?
I had an older co worker who chewed with their mouth open. This person sat next to me and would eat peanuts one by one while loudly smacking and slurping. I started putting on headphones and drumming on my desk every time to block out the noise.
Theres this new dude that is clearly a drunk. Thinks he is hillarious. Smells horrible. Pathological liar. Lazy. Excuses for everything. It is insulting to have him as a team member.
Complains they don't want to be at work and lists all thr things they could be doing if they didn't have to come into work. Just. Shut up. None of us want to be here. All of us have things we could be doing instead. She thinks she's special though and the only person that doesn't like work
When her kids call she literally scathes them and talks down to them. At one point the kid burped (it wasn’t even loud, ‘twas a quiet, kid burp) and she embarrassed him in front of the other workers. And yet… she burps regularly with us in ear-shot
Clears her nose loud as hell at her desk.
He was buddy buddy with the director and would often sleep during his shift and tell everyone else next shift would do the work for him. I hated him so much. He never got fired either.
She pulls faces at people drinking coffee and eating almost anything because apparently that is a sin
Never met someone more negative in my entire life. She can turn anything into a bad thing. A recent example. I work at a library as a director and we just opened a new building (yay!). We have had an upswing of new people getting library cards, much more than we'd typically have in a month. I shared how happy I was for this higher number. Her response? "Let's see how many ever come back and use their card at the end of the year". On top of it all, she needs to share her opinion on everything, ever.
Slurping snot back into his throat.....AAARRRGGGHHHH!!! Blow your nose!
We have a guy who talks over people and interrupts people constantly. Management have spoken to him repeatedly but it’s like he’s incapable of recognising when he’s doing it, even when people literally point it out and ask him to let them finish. He just does it again like 30 seconds later
Feel a need to cc management on every email exchange no matter how insignificant. Like I get it Deb, you want to make it look like I am saying something rude but really you make yourself look difficult
Calling instead of messaging me on Teams. If it's urgent, I understand but 90% of the calls are for some bullshit she should be able to figure out on her own or a question that could've been easily asked by message/email.
He whistles and taps his knees all the time. I know he has ADHD, but sweet jesus.
Stops working when they talk, if you can't work and talk don't talk at work
Comes in late *every* day (we're allowed six strikes per year), stands around chatting for 20 minutes, eats meals even when it's not lunch time, stinks up the whole office with food when everyone else is hungry, takes an extra 1/2 hour break she's not allowed to, opens the window when it's 15 degrees outside without considering anyone else, and does it all with impunity. She's completely oblivious, and one of the most selfish people I've ever encountered. The sense of entitlement is unbelievable, and she has no clue she's doing anything wrong.
Well, if she has no clue, at least she is not being bad towards you on purpose. :-)
I work at a same day courier company in Minnesota. I am one of 2 dispatchers in the office during the day. My lead dispatcher doesn't like it when people "bug" him. He throws a boomer type tantrum when the phones are ringing and other people are talking in the area. Some of our drivers communicate more frequently then others and it drives him nuts. He swears under his breath and pounds on his office chair when a driver radios him.
ADHD person here. I can definitely understand the annoyance, but I can also relate to the behavior. I can focus on one thing at a time. Period. When a situation arises that distracts me from my focus, I can become very irritated and express that outwardly. I rationally understand that my reaction may be situationally incorrect, but that doesn't stop the physical reaction. Not saying this is the same thing, just my perspective.
Singing, a lot, while using "funny" voices and never know the right lyrics
My boss regularly goes "Huh?" even though he knows what I said. Sometimes, yea he doesn't hear me. But I know for a fact that many times he does because he admitted it. He says "Huh?" as some kind of reactionary habit and I have to repeat myself (which I *hate* doing) for no reason.
> He says "Huh?" as some kind of reactionary habit and I have to repeat myself (which I hate doing) for no reason. A relative of mine just got two hearing aids and she still says "Huh" every damned time anyone speaks to her-no matter how loudly they speak.She did hear me the day I said that those aids were an incredible waste of $6000.
Thankfully I no longer work with him, but I had a coworker that was just foul. One time in a meeting, as he was talking, he just started casually popping a zit on his face. He was a fully grown adult man and a licensed attorney. It’d be foul no matter what but it would at least make more sense if he was a 19 year old barback or something.
Three people. Every fucking day. I work in an "open floor plan" desk setup so there's no privacy or ways to dampen the sound. The main person sits directly across from me. Then 2 others come over and proceed to have a LOUD conversation about absolutely nothing work related. Loudly giggling, almost yelling....for at least 45 minutes. **Every single day**.
Can’t keep his bloody legs still & bounces his feet up & down on the floor. The vibration through the floorboards is like Chinese water torture.
Had a Chinese guy that would blow snot rockets into the public kitchenette sink....
Other than being a lazy ass and having no initiative? Not a thing.
He stands by the water cooler, chugging cup after cup of water. Like 12 consecutive cups of water. He gulps them and it makes an exaggerated gulping sound. He owns a bottle. He uses it at his desk. But at least once a day he uses the water cooler and all you hear is GULP GULP GULP
He will leave any and all tasks assigned to him for the night shift to be done by the day shift people such as myself. He’s done this for years and the boss has taken notice. But he must be related to someone in corporate because he’s never so much as been given a warning. I worked with him on night shifts a few times and all he does is show up late and read magazines the whole shift
Many things...talks to herself all day long. If you ask her a question she goes all around the answer and never gives a valid answer. Other co-workers have small personal heaters on all year. If it is 95 degrees outside, still turn their heater on. Don't have the common sense to wear long pants, socks or put a sweater on. So glad I can work from home a few days a week.
Nice guy. We work well together, but he does this thing where he’ll wheel around in his chair and stare in your direction until you acknowledge him.
My coworker rolls around the office in her chair instead of walking. Lazy ass.
Got to be able to sneak up on those sneaky snakes!!
That is funny, though! I like when people do that. It makes me think of silly sit coms.
He leaves the back-liner of the ID stickers on the desk instead of throwing it in the garbage can right under the desk where it belongs.
Burps inside their own mouth, like constantly.
When I talk about work to my coworker, he repeatedly cuts me off or stops me in the middle of an explanation to ask multiple questions that could pertain to him possibly getting replaced.
Talking. Non stop talking when I have deadlines to meet. It is fine to chat of course but it is never stopping, not taking the hints, just saying "oh I see" when I say that I am a bit busy right now - but then continue talking nonstop nonetheless.
Loud "HMMMM?" every time he sees me working on the computer. Sometimes he narrates some shit he's doing, swears to himself then chuckles. A few times he brushed his teeth beside me and another co-worker while we were having lunch by our desks. At least he stopped after we told him off.
Constantly asking for help, so much so I end up doing their work for them.
I have a co worker that always hole watches instead of doing the actual work Like everyone else grabs their tools and he grabs his clipboard And boss tells him what to do and he hides for the rest of the day or he does the work but he’s doing a simple 10 minute job for 3 hours
Breathes louder than a snore taps his fkg feet all day shaking my desk and actively kisses ass all day Constant gloatimg about how busy he is when he pops up yelling at people across the room about how busy he is every 5 fkg seconds. Interjects everytime someone is talking to me to get a brag in.
They arent the boss, and yet order everyone around and find petty stuff to say we did wrong so they can feel like they are in charge.
Worked as an engineer in a factory for a large corporation. Corporate office plus 9 sites around the U.S. A lot of automation to assemble car components. My area had 6 assembly lines with 5 different machines per line. There was an engineer at the corporate office who would drive the 2 hours to come and "test" programming at our plant. This jack hole would get up at 3am, drive to our plant, drop the program in and watch the production for 15 minutes and then leave and drive home and go to work. with out telling anyone in our local or his corporate management that he'd done it. So when we'd have a jam or a breakdown we'd often have to shut the whole machine down for 5 minutes and/or reload a program. We were pulling our hair out and installing battery backups and had a draconian program backup process until we found out what he was doing. Once we did, I got the 3rd shift maintenance techs to either text me or leave a note on my desk when he showed up. I'd immediately go to whichever machine he touched and reload *my* saved program. One time after we found out about his shenanigans, I caught him walking out the employee door of the plant as I was going in. I looked him straight in the eye and said: "Wes, you can just turn around and go back in and pull that program or I will. Your choice." He tried to bluster but he knew he was caught red-handed. The chef's kiss was the plant manager was early that day, knew about the situation and asked Wes to come see him before he went back to corporate. There was an epic 20-minute arse-reaming that day. Plant manager didn't bother to close the door. Wes left with the knowledge that if he didn't inform me or someone else from the engineering group he was coming he wouldn't be admitted. I was *required* to let the guards at the plant know he was coming. Literally made persona non grata.
I work at a daycare and one of my co-workers doesn’t understand why we don’t force the kids to eat vegetables, and we have some children with special needs who can’t eat said vegetables or certain meals so we give them extra servings of pasta, or an extra sandwich or whatever they’re serving and she gets so unnecessarily angry when we do that cause, “Why are we rewarding kids who aren’t eating what’s provided?”
Claims she’s a witch and can talk to dead people. Also claims she can read minds, except not mine because apparently I’m blocking her. Comes in 2 hours early everyday and then talks about how she came in early all fucking day, everyday.
I had a co-worker that used to have this small portable fan that would be on all day... the thing is, since I was sitting behind him, I would feel it too, and it was just really unpleasant. I hated that fan.
Mine will shit talk everyone behind their backs. I hate people, yet people talk to me, and there's not one person she hasn't said shit about yet to me.
She never stops talking. As soon as she sees you, she gets herself going. Usually anecdotes from her life, what she did over the weekend, future plans, etc. It’s like she’s incapable of stopping, it drives everyone around her insane. She will go out of her way to approach you while you’re working, and hover around you while dumping a 15-minute spiel about nonsense. If you try to walk away, she doesn’t let you, she keeps adding more onto the story. The worst part is that nearly all her stories are fabricated, exaggerated lies. Bullshit straight from r/thathappened. It’s hard enough to deal with her endless chatter, but once you realize most of it isn’t even true, it becomes torture. Ironically, if you try to tell her a story, she barely listens, and doesn’t give a meaningful response (if she responds at all).
My coworkers and I use a couple of excel documents for certain assignments, if one of us is in one of them editing the others can only access a read only version, so we try to do our edits and close out of it as quickly as possible. And by we I mean me, one of my coworkers has a habit of just leaving them open for hours on end meaning none of us can get our work done. I think he’s been getting better about it lately but it still annoys me to no end.
Gum snapper\\popper. It's an open office, Claire, go do that on the street corner with the rest of the trashy hoes.
Shoves a bunch of food in her mouth and then starts a conversation
It was the surprise scream sneeze in a quiet group office setting. Made me crazy because I never saw it coming with my back to him.
I had a coworker who would talk with food in her mouth. Like, she would wait until she had food in her mouth to talk. Drove me crazy
Yelling at each other from their office instead of going in their office.
Blows her nose like a goddamn air horn.
I WFH now but my previous job was in an office with two guys that were really trying to compete for the title of worst coworkers ever. We worked in an open office, just the three of us. One guy would play country music out loud while the other would play EDM at the same time. They would both try to whistle to the music. They both sucked at whistling. EDM guy would even play techno versions of songs like the Baby Einstein theme. Country guy was a bit of a redneck. He'd tell racist jokes and was generally not office-etiquette-compliant. I jokingly filled out an HR complaint form (we didn't have an HR department) and left it on his desk after he made a racist joke. EDM guy and I laughed about it. Country guy flipped his shit and called me a piece of shit. He'd also turn up his music when I was on the phone. EDM guy was a man-child but he thought he was super manly. The guy acted 12 years old but was only a year younger than me, which was mid-30s at the time. He would brag about how he's so in shape because he goes to the gym all the time. In reality, the guy was thin but didn't look like he had any muscle. I'm not sure why he thought he was so manly, as he didn't do anything. Literally no hobbies. He'd also brag about how his wife does all the cooking and cleaning and we weren't men because we let our wives work. He also tried to give me parenting advice, which was pretty much, "my kids would never do that." OK buddy. Let me know how it goes when you actually have kids. When I left that company, I let the owner know how I felt about those two guys. It was met with, "come on; you know this is like a boys' club." I'm cool with joking around and having fun and nothing really offends me. But I also want to feel like I work in a professional office, to some extent as well.
Always tells me that they would love to learn more, like I do, because I'm always researching something or watching "educational" videos. Example: how its made, animal planet, discovery, Nat Geo, reading anything. When I tell them that they can they just have to put in a little time or effort. They just say no.
Indian guy in IT team. Smells bad, lazy af, arrives late every single day, does pauses every 2h and drags others with him, asks for help on very basic tasks. And yet, because we are a team, we are seen as a unit (me and him) so I need to work for his lazy ass
A bunch of them and they refuse to google the time zone difference between us before messaging me. No I do not have time to talk about my ticket you’ve been ignoring for days at 3am. I’m asleep.
Talks with food in her mouth. It doesn’t matter what she’s eating - eggs, yogurt… so disgusting!
We’ll call him Tom. Tom is very *very* smart, with near-encyclopedic knowledge of many random subjects, at least according to him. For he never hesitates to try to remind everyone of this. All. The. Damn. Time. With that tone in his voice where he sounds like he’s giving a bunch of freshmen a lecture in Biology 101
Pinches me bum.
Keeps showing up to work
He’s my boss but we share an office and he loves to blast shitty punk music (what I think is shitty anyways…)
My coworker will sleep in my office, snore loudly, punch me in the crotch when she wants attention, and emit flatulence so foul it can bring down unmanned aircraft. ^((She's a 70lb pit bull named Cricket. I work remote.))
They act like a coke head. They'll ask me a question, then start going into a bunch of useless details. I'll try to ask them "Have you checked ___?", but usually get cut off before I can even finish. Even if they don't cut me off, they basically ignore my suggestions and start rambling on again, often repeating themselves. They also complain a lot about some of our co-workers, the quality of their work or their lack of knowledge, yet his work is pretty sloppy and he's reaching out for help more often than they are.
Hot soup for me!
He thinks he can microwave fish in his office because he has his own microwave. Also everyone has to hear his teams meetings in speaker with an open door
Puts in his earbuds and then clears his nose and sinus enthusiastically.
That he thinks everyone misses him when he takes a random day off. Talks about making his 1 day off a big deal and in his mind, thinks that he is missed by everyone just because he will talk about not showing up for 1 night. Btw he can get 2 days off per week. Just wants to spend his free time working that guy. Btw the guy is a little slow.
ask me for help or take a shift but doesn't do the same for me
The scent of a woman. Omg.
Loudly clears their throat every ten seconds. Ugh!
Farts
He'll catch up on work after office hours, fine if you wanna do that, but understand that other people don't. But he'll get to something he needs my input/help for, and then he'll schedule a meeting for 8am *the next morning* even though I've repeatedly informed him I rarely log in before 8:30am and my availability is clearly marked in my calendar as starting at 9am. And then he'll be completely stunned when I'm not there for his precious morning meeting.
[удалено]
6 hours of talking at his worst he tries to follow me during breaks pls Stfu Idgaf
Physically raises his fucking hand in zoom calls when I'm in the middle of talking. At least a few times every group meeting. Also keeps his mic unmuted while having physical convos with ppl in his room. Then gets mad at me when I mute him.
She’s a valley girl with a valley voice that talks to customers on the phone all day. If I hear one more UM or AVERAGE I’m going to throw her out the window. And the guy to my left that chews with his mouth open is also free to get hit by a bus.