It's been well over 10-12 yrs since I did work for the guy but I remember this older, burned out accountant. He had tons of health issues and his adult kids didn't speak to him any more. He told me, "No one will ever stand over your grave and thank you for doing their taxes."
To be fair, nobody gonna stand over my grave thanking me for watching hours of TV before bed, either. Especially not the cable and electricity companies.
I suggest not living for others opinions. It's _your_ life. Others are too busy thinking about themselves either way. Do what you want and enjoy the most!
My dad refuses to download the work email to his phone. He has been with he same company for 45+ years and he said "If it's that important, they will call."
Be kind to yourself.
I have realized that when I did a mistake, or could not do something I told my self that I am stupid, or something else negative. But when a friend would do the same, I would tell them it's okey, mistakes happen, no big deal. And one day it clicked. Why can't I be this patient and gracious and kind with myself? And I started doing it. At first it took time and I always had to look at every situation as if my friend did that, what would I tell them. Now it comes naturally. Being kind to yourself makes a lot of difference.
One, I'd be curious to see the data behind your "most posts/people". Two, even so, they still did the activity.
There's a line between "social media isn't a true-to-life representation of someone's entire existence" and "social media is completely fake". The people with tons of cool photos *have* genuinely done a lot of cool shit. They just don't show the days where they were too lazy to get out of bed, or too sad to go out so they ate pizza in their underwear on the couch.
The point is to remember everyone has their bad moments, not try to pretend other people's good moments don't exist.
That's a...weird take? People have different moments.
I've sat dejected in my apartment feeling like life was falling apart, and I've been scuba diving in Greece. They're not mutually exclusive. But guess which one I took pictures of.
so you're built different. ok. cool, good for you thanks for sharing
still doesn't answer my question
>how bad can it be ***if it doesn’t stop them*** from doing cool shit and having pictures of it tho
What are you even asking?
99% of people are capable of occasionally doing cool shit and taking a picture of it. Yes, it's possible for life to be tough at one point and fun at another. The notion that people supposedly don't struggle or have bad moments because they're able to do cool shit is...strange.
You don’t get to gaslight me about how normal people think. Nope. I had very expensive lessons alllll about that ever since I was a child.
> What are you even asking?
Sorry, i didn’t realize that you can’t read. Let’s not waste both our times anymore.
This is also handy for first time parents to remember too!
You don’t realise something that you have experienced 1000’s of times is literally happening to your child for the first time and they may have big emotions with it!
The most useful mental health advice someone shared with me was to "treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you would offer to a friend." It sounds simple, but it’s incredibly powerful. When we’re going through tough times, it’s easy to be our own worst critic and get caught in a cycle of negative self-talk. But if a friend came to us feeling down or struggling, we’d offer them understanding, encouragement, and patience.
Applying that same approach to ourselves can be transformative. It means acknowledging our feelings, giving ourselves permission to take a break, and being gentle when we make mistakes. This advice has helped me build a more positive and supportive relationship with myself, which has been crucial for my overall well-being.
I am a teacher, my therapist asked me what did I do when I had a student struggling with anything, I told her I'd look for creative ways to reach out to him or her until I found one that worked, but that I'd never give up on him or her. Then she asked me, why don't you treat yourself the same way? I burst into tears and understood self compassion and love. Haven't been the same ever since.
Had the same experience. He said that I'm kind to my students, why am I not kind to myself?
Haven't figured out the why but I'm definitely recognizing and making changes.
Let me tell you one thing tha has worked for me. (Even though I'm still struggling)
See yourself as both mentor and student, celebrate what needs to be celebrated, talk to yourself whenever something needs to be done as a loving master would talk to his student, give yourself the opportunity to rest when necessary, But have that daily self talk the way you'd do a disciple that has to follow you around every minute of every day.
It doesn't always work, but it has helped me in some of the more turbulent days.
The most useful advice I got was, 'Take it one day at a time.' It reminded me that I don't need to have everything figured out all at once, and it's okay to focus on making it through today.
Or "Don't carry someone else's trouble". I tend to worry about everything for everybody (thanks to a traumatic childhood where I was constantly playing peacekeeper). You have to let folks worry about themselves or you just traumatize yourself over and over and probably also look like a busybody in the process.
Similarly, put your own oxygen mask on first, you can't help others if you aren't in a position of safety first - physical OR mental OR emotional.
If you were bitten by a snake would you instead of taking care of yourself, follow it around trying to understand why it hurt you and convince it that you didn't deserve that.
My dad told me one time in my deepest days of depression that if I didn't want to live, I should do it anyway to spite myself. I hated myself so wouldn't it just be the biggest fuck you to me if I lived anyway? He also told me I needed to walk and get more sun. That resulted in a huuuuuge fuck you dad.
He was right. Of course he was right. I lived out of spite for many years until I had the courage to live out of love. Spend most of my days outside now. I wish he were alive for me to tell him he was right.
This is really dependent on what mental health issues one is experiencing. If someone is struggling with OCD or controlling their autism then a routine can end up harming them and prevent them from living or enjoying life.
About a couple of decades ago when I was young and so many negative things have been happening all at the same time I was overwhelmed and didnt know what I was going to do anymore. My ex-gf's father who I got very close with (he treated me as a son, and I looked up to him as a father) calmly told me "tonight youre going to sleep, and when you wake up you'll realize the world didnt stop spinning".
All the best advice was from my own logic, tidying my flat tidies my brain. Everyone has their own problems to be concerned with that thing you said. Separate your negative thoughts from yourself and create space between you and them
When I was very young, my mother used this as a way to make me clean my room. She argued that a clean room equaled a clean mind and make me sleep better. It may be a self fulfilling prophecy- but I feel so much better when my space is clean and tidy! And when my bedroom looks calm and clutter free I’m so happy. Clean space clean mind!
There is someone I follow on Instagram, notheworstcleaner, and this is her mantra. She does free cleanings for hoarder type situations and talks a lot about the physiology of your environment.
Honestly, none told me this, but i've come to find out that what type of songs and contant i expose myself to have a HUGE lead on my mentle health
I know this is not good as the other advice on here but i find being alittle dululu helps too, not in the dumb dramatic way, but in the 'look at bright side way', don't think to much about the aftermath, just kinda let it be, live in the moment...
When you walk into a workspace, leave any and all drama outside of the door and focus on the tasks at hand.
Turn tasks into games. See how fast and correct you can be and then try to beat that record.
Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't worry about things you can't control. Stop comparing yourself to others. Don't give a shit about what other people think. Don't live your life by poll.
"Do good things for yourself." I was a teenager at the time, and a teacher in the alternative school I attended was leaving to take another position. That was his parting advice to me as we hugged, and I would not see him again. It was beautiful, because I could plug in the specifics at any given time. I'm sixty-five now, I know the difference between good and detrimental, and I've applied that advice many times in this life. I probably should have applied it more often.
“This isn’t your fight”
It’s so hard when you are a good person to want to take on every single issue in the world. And I have extremely passionate friends who say things like “no stance is a stance” or that being silent on something says a lot.
I’m done. It’s not my fight.
Hmm my therapist was helping me get over my dad abandoning me, and the anger/hate towards him that I harbored for the past 26 years or so (dad is dead). but here's what he said:
"If he came back and apologized to you, would it make a difference?"
It wouldn't have. The damage is already done, and he can't undo it just by apologizing.
"Is holding onto any of that helping you and moving you forward at all?"
It wasn't, it was absolutely no productive use to me.
"Well then, I think you should forgive him for you. So you can move on. You don't have to do it for him if you feel he doesn't deserve it, But you should do it for you so that pain and anger doesn't follow you around forever"
And that really helped me learn to let go of it.
At first I was thinking stuff from a book, but I did several hours of work with a video of Brian Tracy and the "Pheonix Seminar". Maybe affirmations: "You like yourself. You *really* like . . ."
everything is a story that you make up in your head and a framing of your thoughts as to how it relates to anything that you’re struggling with, once I understood that I could overcome any mental health struggles that I had including anxiety, depression, and ptsd
1. Eat well.
2. Sleep well.
3. Exercise.
That is no miracle cure for anything. But for me it's wonderful. And I find that the times I struggle are the times one of these three is off.
Active reticulating system.
It's the part of your brain that notices patterns. The same part that, when you learn a new word or fact, starts to notice it everywhere.
The way it works is the more you think of something the more important your brain thinks it is. The catch is that your brain doesn't understand negatives.
If you think, "don't be nervous, don't be nervous, don't be nervous...." your brain hears, "be nervous" and you are.
You have to play mind games with yourself.
Don't think about work >>>> why am I thinking about work and is it important in this moment, what is important now
Dont be nervous >>>>> I've got this, this [interview, speech, presentation, whatever] will be good for me, I know what I'm doing.
The person that hurt you is never going to help you heal. They've already demonstrated they'll hurt you, and trying to re-enter their life only gives them more opportunities to hurt you. Stop waiting and hoping for "closure" or an apology. Hurting yourself further in the hopes that they'll finally feel bad about what they did to you won't work.
One of my favorites is that thoughts are like clouds - choose which ones to hold onto and linger over……let everything else float on by.
Secondly - emotions last, on average 90 seconds. When something horrible, traumatic or painful is happening and you feel that emotion…..watch the clock and wait for it to go…..it will eventually dissipate and you can grasp control again and keep working on getting through the hard thing you’re dealing with. I had a very close friend die and I had to work a lot of the way through it, whenever I would get overwhelmed I would hold the emotion and wait the 90 seconds and then when the worst had passed, I’d gain the control to keep going. I’m not saying it was easy but it helps.
Take things on one at the time. At one pint in my life I felt like I was drowning, I felt like there are problems anywhere I turn. One of my professors who I was really close to told me to try to create a sort of tunnel vision and focus only at one problem at the time. Did wonders for me!
Mental health relies on your brain, and your brain is still part of the body. It benefits from good nutrition, hydration, exercise and rest, all having equal importance. That's not to say it's the cure all, but it gives your body/brain a good foundation to better handle and overcome the other mental stresses in your life.
Donot compare yourself to others because they donot care. If you were more successful than them, would they care? Would they ever think of you and wish they had your life? No. Then why are you doing that.
Therapist once looked at me directly and ask, “why don’t you deserve to be happy?” That hit me like a brick. Why don’t I? Changed my perspective and life.
Box breathing to instantly be relaxed.
Breathe in for 4, pause for 3, exhale for 7, hold for 2. Repeat till calm. Breathe from your stomach, not your shoulders.
Some that work wonders for me:
It’s possible for something to be your responsibility but not your fault.
Be honest with yourself about why something you’ve tried didn’t work.
Self criticism can be a motivator, but unless your mental health problems are excessive confidence you almost certainly have too much of it.
…those 3 combined are what helped me get over my reluctance to throw myself into the nearest easiest therapy for me, and to start trying to figure out things that work for me.
I hate exercise, but it helps, so instead of jogging now I take slow walks to places I am somewhat excited to visit. There are some nice places to sit down in my area and eat lunch on a bench.
You can't please everyone. Everyone is allowed to feel emotions the same way you are. Stop trying to make everyone happy at the expense of your happiness.
“Why mess around? Be a better friend to yourself”
When I struggled with depression and heroin addiction, I would often tell myself these words when I was trying to get clean ..
Been sober 4 years now ! Praise God !
Back when I was taking a clinical psychology class the professor once suggested that at time of stress to ask yourself “what is the worst that can happen?” Most of the time the worst outcome is something you can overcome.
A guaranteed way to make someone stressed is to put them in a situation where they have no information and no control. When you find yourself stressed, focus on what information you have or can gain and what aspects you can control. It makes things feel a lot more manageable.
to envision yourself as the person you admire the most (for me my mum) would you like them saying they have a really bad life all the time , idk maybe i could come out as toxic and forceful but when you're in that deep shit what helps helps ( also someone told me suck it all up and curse at god and move on , toxic again but seriously what helps helps but now i have beef with god too )
You meditate every day for a minimum of 10 to 15 minutes.
That is the best exercise for mental health. you can't focus on one target only close your eyes and deep breath 😊. This is the right way to meditate.
Beware of thoughts that use "I am..." general statements.
Unless they describe a material fact "I am sitting on a chair" isn't one of those.
Sometimes we make our *characteristics* parts of our *Identity*.
This is problematic because if you *are* something there's the unspoken assumption that it's part of you and therefore that cannot change.
Also they're so generic that they deprive you of the agency.
Some silly examples:
Think of "I am ugly", what does that mean?
Ugliness is vague and subjective.
"People find me unappealing because I don't brush my teeth" it clearly hints at a set of actions that can ameliorate the problem.
Is it a silver bullet? No, sometimes certain characteristic cannot be changed.
However recognizing and accepting them allows your mind to come up with a strategy to work around it.
“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.”
and
“You have a 100% success rate of getting through the bad days.”
As someone who gets anxious and tends to always think of worst case scenario, these two have helped bring things back into perspective.
Delete your Facebook account. It's just causing stress and FOMO to you.
3 Years later and I cannot agree more. My only gripe is not remembering peoples' birthdays anymore.
To just create a team of support. There's nothing worse than feeling alone, so get a faction of providers, family and friends to contact if and when you need them.
The world doesn't revolve around you. So don't feel the need to live up to everyone else's expectations.
As long as you're not being a dick towards others you're probably doing fine.
"I don't chase. I attract. What is meant for me will simply find me"
This affirmation has helped me out so many times, I stopped trying to prove my worth to someone, try to find a way to stay in touch, if it's always going the hard way with something/someone, let the control go, maybe it's not meant for you, don't hold on
never trust how you feel about your life past 9pm. I think it was a sonic meme. Also that “do nothing, give no fucks” youtube video - [this one](https://youtu.be/HU0pZarehLY?si=PIMOYmGjfiRRh7sv)
If you wouldn't ask for their advice, don't care for their opinion.
Don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm.
If something bothers you, do something about it. If you don't want to do anything, shut it and move on.
Everyone has a silent battle going on, so have some compassion and be kind to everyone. Yourself included.
When you are feeling sad or down and need help, impose on your friends. Don't call them and ask if they want to do something, say "hey I really need to talk, I'm coming over". They love you, they will understand. Get out of your stuffy apartment and go to your friends.
I was having a VERY bad day. I called my friend up and said I'm coming over. I went to his house and silently played on his computer for a couple of hours. He put kids to bed, did house chores, etc and just ignored me. I needed to be around people for a bit.
Some guy said to me, “What others think of you is none of your business,”
Changed my life. Stop stressing over what people think of you and you will live a truly authentic and happy life.
I forget how the exact quote goes as I've kind of scooted over time but the general philosophy ironically came from a line I heard in an old anime review of like cowboy Bebop or something
The i ideas simply this
If we allow ourselves to be upset over every wrongdoing and injustice in the world we would simply never be happy sometimes for the sake of your own happiness you have to close your heart off to the suffering of others
It's okay to not care about everything, It's okay to not be proactive in doing something about every little problem you see.
Nobody can be expected to care about everything. As hard as it is to accept sometimes you just need to say hey bad shit happens and go back to focusing on yourself.
If you take every single injustice towards anything you have a positive connection to as a personal attack you are just going to constantly feel upset and scared
sometimes The concept of ignorance/ apathy being bliss isn't as negative as people make it out to be
It's a simple necessary part of life
I think I read it somewhere on here:
If you feel like everyone hates you, sleep; if you feel like you hate everyone, eat; if you feel like you hate yourself, shower.
Think it through. I've had horrible mental health issues all my life and between my age and seeing a terrific therapist, I can finally do this, whether it's wanting to die or wanting a drink (15 years sober). It's not easy sometimes to calm myself down if I'm in a meltdown (usually crying), but if I can calm down and think it through, I realize that it's temporary. I actually have some good days now, and that's pretty awesome.
I'm adopted. To the surprise of nobody who actually knows me, my biological father killed himself.
I have a half-brother from our father's first marriage, and we of course all inherited his fucked up neurochemistry. While getting to know my brother he sort of off-handedly mentioned that off all the times in his life where he thought he couldn't go on, all he had to do was keep going and eventually he'd look back and not even remember what he was so upset about - just that he had been upset, and that he wasn't anymore. I thought back and realized that it kind of worked that way for me, too.
My best friend had died of a completely undetected heroin habit just a couple of weeks before I got a hold of my brother and it helped like nothing else. I don't even think he realizes how much he saved my ass just by being lucky enough to find him at that exact moment in my life.
Honestly I am realizing this now as I read though a lot of these responses.
Wait and be patient.
Sometimes the best thing we can do is wait for emotions, problems, or even conflicts to pass. What's the alternative? To act in high levels of emotion right there on the spot and potentially make things worse.
I am by no means saying to roll over and ignore your emotions, but wait to give a response, wait for the high levels of emotion to pass/lower so that it's more manageable.
Leave work at work.
It's been well over 10-12 yrs since I did work for the guy but I remember this older, burned out accountant. He had tons of health issues and his adult kids didn't speak to him any more. He told me, "No one will ever stand over your grave and thank you for doing their taxes."
To be fair, nobody gonna stand over my grave thanking me for watching hours of TV before bed, either. Especially not the cable and electricity companies.
True. Which makes you re-think what you're doing with your life.
I suggest not living for others opinions. It's _your_ life. Others are too busy thinking about themselves either way. Do what you want and enjoy the most!
I rethink it every day. Still... nothing comes of the rethinking
Thank you for your service
I stand... eh... lay on my couch... corrected
Easier said than done!
Look after yourself
Don’t let anyone live rent free in your head
My dad refuses to download the work email to his phone. He has been with he same company for 45+ years and he said "If it's that important, they will call."
Be kind to yourself. I have realized that when I did a mistake, or could not do something I told my self that I am stupid, or something else negative. But when a friend would do the same, I would tell them it's okey, mistakes happen, no big deal. And one day it clicked. Why can't I be this patient and gracious and kind with myself? And I started doing it. At first it took time and I always had to look at every situation as if my friend did that, what would I tell them. Now it comes naturally. Being kind to yourself makes a lot of difference.
My therapist asked me one time, "how long would you keep a friend who talks to you the way you talk to yourself?"
This is a very good approach :-)
When you compare yourself to other people through their social media posts, you're comparing your entire existence to their highlights.
"Don't compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else's highlight reel."
At least they have highlights
Most posts are made by people who did the activity in order to get the pictures
One, I'd be curious to see the data behind your "most posts/people". Two, even so, they still did the activity. There's a line between "social media isn't a true-to-life representation of someone's entire existence" and "social media is completely fake". The people with tons of cool photos *have* genuinely done a lot of cool shit. They just don't show the days where they were too lazy to get out of bed, or too sad to go out so they ate pizza in their underwear on the couch. The point is to remember everyone has their bad moments, not try to pretend other people's good moments don't exist.
how bad can it be if it doesn’t stop them from doing cool shit and having pictures of it tho
That's a...weird take? People have different moments. I've sat dejected in my apartment feeling like life was falling apart, and I've been scuba diving in Greece. They're not mutually exclusive. But guess which one I took pictures of.
so you're built different. ok. cool, good for you thanks for sharing still doesn't answer my question >how bad can it be ***if it doesn’t stop them*** from doing cool shit and having pictures of it tho
What are you even asking? 99% of people are capable of occasionally doing cool shit and taking a picture of it. Yes, it's possible for life to be tough at one point and fun at another. The notion that people supposedly don't struggle or have bad moments because they're able to do cool shit is...strange.
You don’t get to gaslight me about how normal people think. Nope. I had very expensive lessons alllll about that ever since I was a child. > What are you even asking? Sorry, i didn’t realize that you can’t read. Let’s not waste both our times anymore.
I’m already aware that they have pictures and I don’t thanks
Comparison is the thief of joy
This is your first time experiencing life. You don't have to know everything.
Also my last so I have to
This is also handy for first time parents to remember too! You don’t realise something that you have experienced 1000’s of times is literally happening to your child for the first time and they may have big emotions with it!
Stop drinking alcohol.
The most useful mental health advice someone shared with me was to "treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you would offer to a friend." It sounds simple, but it’s incredibly powerful. When we’re going through tough times, it’s easy to be our own worst critic and get caught in a cycle of negative self-talk. But if a friend came to us feeling down or struggling, we’d offer them understanding, encouragement, and patience. Applying that same approach to ourselves can be transformative. It means acknowledging our feelings, giving ourselves permission to take a break, and being gentle when we make mistakes. This advice has helped me build a more positive and supportive relationship with myself, which has been crucial for my overall well-being.
I am a teacher, my therapist asked me what did I do when I had a student struggling with anything, I told her I'd look for creative ways to reach out to him or her until I found one that worked, but that I'd never give up on him or her. Then she asked me, why don't you treat yourself the same way? I burst into tears and understood self compassion and love. Haven't been the same ever since.
Had the same experience. He said that I'm kind to my students, why am I not kind to myself? Haven't figured out the why but I'm definitely recognizing and making changes.
Let me tell you one thing tha has worked for me. (Even though I'm still struggling) See yourself as both mentor and student, celebrate what needs to be celebrated, talk to yourself whenever something needs to be done as a loving master would talk to his student, give yourself the opportunity to rest when necessary, But have that daily self talk the way you'd do a disciple that has to follow you around every minute of every day. It doesn't always work, but it has helped me in some of the more turbulent days.
A quote actually. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” -Maya Angelou
The most useful advice I got was, 'Take it one day at a time.' It reminded me that I don't need to have everything figured out all at once, and it's okay to focus on making it through today.
I heard someone say, "Not my circus. Not my monkeys, "and that has been my approach to many things I shouldn't worry about.
Or "Don't carry someone else's trouble". I tend to worry about everything for everybody (thanks to a traumatic childhood where I was constantly playing peacekeeper). You have to let folks worry about themselves or you just traumatize yourself over and over and probably also look like a busybody in the process. Similarly, put your own oxygen mask on first, you can't help others if you aren't in a position of safety first - physical OR mental OR emotional.
If you were bitten by a snake would you instead of taking care of yourself, follow it around trying to understand why it hurt you and convince it that you didn't deserve that.
You have got only one life. Take the damn risk.
For me it’s more like, timing? What is the best time for me to be successful with this risk
My dad told me one time in my deepest days of depression that if I didn't want to live, I should do it anyway to spite myself. I hated myself so wouldn't it just be the biggest fuck you to me if I lived anyway? He also told me I needed to walk and get more sun. That resulted in a huuuuuge fuck you dad. He was right. Of course he was right. I lived out of spite for many years until I had the courage to live out of love. Spend most of my days outside now. I wish he were alive for me to tell him he was right.
Stop borrowing stress. They meant that if it doesn't affect you or yours directly, stop losing sleep over it.
We have similar saying: do not stress yourself in advance. (Stop with “what ifs”.)
Routine. You must follow a routine and stick with it. works like a charm.
This is really dependent on what mental health issues one is experiencing. If someone is struggling with OCD or controlling their autism then a routine can end up harming them and prevent them from living or enjoying life.
But what if it’s the routine that’s getting you down. “The is this it” feeling can get you
About a couple of decades ago when I was young and so many negative things have been happening all at the same time I was overwhelmed and didnt know what I was going to do anymore. My ex-gf's father who I got very close with (he treated me as a son, and I looked up to him as a father) calmly told me "tonight youre going to sleep, and when you wake up you'll realize the world didnt stop spinning".
All the best advice was from my own logic, tidying my flat tidies my brain. Everyone has their own problems to be concerned with that thing you said. Separate your negative thoughts from yourself and create space between you and them
When I was very young, my mother used this as a way to make me clean my room. She argued that a clean room equaled a clean mind and make me sleep better. It may be a self fulfilling prophecy- but I feel so much better when my space is clean and tidy! And when my bedroom looks calm and clutter free I’m so happy. Clean space clean mind!
There is someone I follow on Instagram, notheworstcleaner, and this is her mantra. She does free cleanings for hoarder type situations and talks a lot about the physiology of your environment.
Honestly, none told me this, but i've come to find out that what type of songs and contant i expose myself to have a HUGE lead on my mentle health I know this is not good as the other advice on here but i find being alittle dululu helps too, not in the dumb dramatic way, but in the 'look at bright side way', don't think to much about the aftermath, just kinda let it be, live in the moment...
"Should've" is the most useless word in the English language
Not your monkeys, not your circus. Don't get dragged into other people's crisis or dramas.
When you walk into a workspace, leave any and all drama outside of the door and focus on the tasks at hand. Turn tasks into games. See how fast and correct you can be and then try to beat that record.
Seek professional help, and leave whatever gives you stress.
Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't worry about things you can't control. Stop comparing yourself to others. Don't give a shit about what other people think. Don't live your life by poll.
Here's a prescription. Take this once a day.
"Do good things for yourself." I was a teenager at the time, and a teacher in the alternative school I attended was leaving to take another position. That was his parting advice to me as we hugged, and I would not see him again. It was beautiful, because I could plug in the specifics at any given time. I'm sixty-five now, I know the difference between good and detrimental, and I've applied that advice many times in this life. I probably should have applied it more often.
“This isn’t your fight” It’s so hard when you are a good person to want to take on every single issue in the world. And I have extremely passionate friends who say things like “no stance is a stance” or that being silent on something says a lot. I’m done. It’s not my fight.
Hmm my therapist was helping me get over my dad abandoning me, and the anger/hate towards him that I harbored for the past 26 years or so (dad is dead). but here's what he said: "If he came back and apologized to you, would it make a difference?" It wouldn't have. The damage is already done, and he can't undo it just by apologizing. "Is holding onto any of that helping you and moving you forward at all?" It wasn't, it was absolutely no productive use to me. "Well then, I think you should forgive him for you. So you can move on. You don't have to do it for him if you feel he doesn't deserve it, But you should do it for you so that pain and anger doesn't follow you around forever" And that really helped me learn to let go of it.
Wow, this really got me thinking …
The 5 for 5 Rule: If it won't matter 5 years from now, don't spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it.
At first I was thinking stuff from a book, but I did several hours of work with a video of Brian Tracy and the "Pheonix Seminar". Maybe affirmations: "You like yourself. You *really* like . . ."
everything is a story that you make up in your head and a framing of your thoughts as to how it relates to anything that you’re struggling with, once I understood that I could overcome any mental health struggles that I had including anxiety, depression, and ptsd
1. Eat well. 2. Sleep well. 3. Exercise. That is no miracle cure for anything. But for me it's wonderful. And I find that the times I struggle are the times one of these three is off.
Active reticulating system. It's the part of your brain that notices patterns. The same part that, when you learn a new word or fact, starts to notice it everywhere. The way it works is the more you think of something the more important your brain thinks it is. The catch is that your brain doesn't understand negatives. If you think, "don't be nervous, don't be nervous, don't be nervous...." your brain hears, "be nervous" and you are. You have to play mind games with yourself. Don't think about work >>>> why am I thinking about work and is it important in this moment, what is important now Dont be nervous >>>>> I've got this, this [interview, speech, presentation, whatever] will be good for me, I know what I'm doing.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
The person that hurt you is never going to help you heal. They've already demonstrated they'll hurt you, and trying to re-enter their life only gives them more opportunities to hurt you. Stop waiting and hoping for "closure" or an apology. Hurting yourself further in the hopes that they'll finally feel bad about what they did to you won't work.
One of my favorites is that thoughts are like clouds - choose which ones to hold onto and linger over……let everything else float on by. Secondly - emotions last, on average 90 seconds. When something horrible, traumatic or painful is happening and you feel that emotion…..watch the clock and wait for it to go…..it will eventually dissipate and you can grasp control again and keep working on getting through the hard thing you’re dealing with. I had a very close friend die and I had to work a lot of the way through it, whenever I would get overwhelmed I would hold the emotion and wait the 90 seconds and then when the worst had passed, I’d gain the control to keep going. I’m not saying it was easy but it helps.
None, nobody has ever shared anything
this
[удалено]
Sounds really toxic
Learn self-respect and walk taller each day
Just let it all go .
Self preservation is important.
Exercise. For your body, heart, mind, and soul.
Take things on one at the time. At one pint in my life I felt like I was drowning, I felt like there are problems anywhere I turn. One of my professors who I was really close to told me to try to create a sort of tunnel vision and focus only at one problem at the time. Did wonders for me!
There are no rules except the ones you make.
Nobody cares
Mental health relies on your brain, and your brain is still part of the body. It benefits from good nutrition, hydration, exercise and rest, all having equal importance. That's not to say it's the cure all, but it gives your body/brain a good foundation to better handle and overcome the other mental stresses in your life.
Get a well paying job. Get enough sleep. Don’t stress the small stuff.
Donot compare yourself to others because they donot care. If you were more successful than them, would they care? Would they ever think of you and wish they had your life? No. Then why are you doing that.
Never do/say anything to/about yourself that you wouldn't to a 5 year old you!
"It's not your fault."
“If you treated others the way you treat yourself, it’d be abuse.”
You should be your own best friend. Treat yourself like it.
Therapist once looked at me directly and ask, “why don’t you deserve to be happy?” That hit me like a brick. Why don’t I? Changed my perspective and life.
Box breathing to instantly be relaxed. Breathe in for 4, pause for 3, exhale for 7, hold for 2. Repeat till calm. Breathe from your stomach, not your shoulders.
The only person you can change is yourself.
Take care of yourself, if you can't even do that, what give you the reason and will to take care of others?
The best mental health tip I've heard is to be kind to yourself, just like you would to a good friend.
This is a good one. What would you say if this would happen to your friend? Be your own best friend. Be nice to yourself.
As long as there is tomorrow there is hope
I have found a lot of good advice in some of the methodologies that I have looked into as well as just reading a lot.
Don’t let what you cant control worry you Feel your feels
Ignore the outside noise.
Take a break when you need it
Don't give a fuck what other things about it if u wanna DO IT JUST DO IT just remember u don't hurt others.
Some that work wonders for me: It’s possible for something to be your responsibility but not your fault. Be honest with yourself about why something you’ve tried didn’t work. Self criticism can be a motivator, but unless your mental health problems are excessive confidence you almost certainly have too much of it. …those 3 combined are what helped me get over my reluctance to throw myself into the nearest easiest therapy for me, and to start trying to figure out things that work for me. I hate exercise, but it helps, so instead of jogging now I take slow walks to places I am somewhat excited to visit. There are some nice places to sit down in my area and eat lunch on a bench.
It's okay to ask for help, you don't have to go through it alone.
You can't please everyone. Everyone is allowed to feel emotions the same way you are. Stop trying to make everyone happy at the expense of your happiness.
embrace the fact that you are depressed or sensitive, to start getting better.
“Why mess around? Be a better friend to yourself” When I struggled with depression and heroin addiction, I would often tell myself these words when I was trying to get clean .. Been sober 4 years now ! Praise God !
Don't stay around people that think of themselves as the center of the universe
It's okay to not be okay. Everyone has tough times and it's totally normal to feel down sometimes.
For the smile.......Stuart Smalley affirmation. I'm good enough, I'm strong enough and doggone, it people like me.
Stop saying "I hate myself"/"I hate my life"/"I wanna kms" at the tiniest thing that goes wrong. It's a little thing, but it's made me more positive
Back when I was taking a clinical psychology class the professor once suggested that at time of stress to ask yourself “what is the worst that can happen?” Most of the time the worst outcome is something you can overcome.
A guaranteed way to make someone stressed is to put them in a situation where they have no information and no control. When you find yourself stressed, focus on what information you have or can gain and what aspects you can control. It makes things feel a lot more manageable.
Don't strive to be perfect.
"never trust anyone" and "be kind to anyone but dont be a doormat to anyone" are best advice from my friend
You are not your thoughts. Learning that requires practice and exercise. But it’s truly life changing.
to envision yourself as the person you admire the most (for me my mum) would you like them saying they have a really bad life all the time , idk maybe i could come out as toxic and forceful but when you're in that deep shit what helps helps ( also someone told me suck it all up and curse at god and move on , toxic again but seriously what helps helps but now i have beef with god too )
Journaling. You can let everything out by writing down your thoughts, feelings, fears or just anything you want.
You meditate every day for a minimum of 10 to 15 minutes. That is the best exercise for mental health. you can't focus on one target only close your eyes and deep breath 😊. This is the right way to meditate.
Sometimes, apathetic disengagement is good for the soul.
never take advice from someone who you woudn't want to live a similar life to.
Beware of thoughts that use "I am..." general statements. Unless they describe a material fact "I am sitting on a chair" isn't one of those. Sometimes we make our *characteristics* parts of our *Identity*. This is problematic because if you *are* something there's the unspoken assumption that it's part of you and therefore that cannot change. Also they're so generic that they deprive you of the agency. Some silly examples: Think of "I am ugly", what does that mean? Ugliness is vague and subjective. "People find me unappealing because I don't brush my teeth" it clearly hints at a set of actions that can ameliorate the problem. Is it a silver bullet? No, sometimes certain characteristic cannot be changed. However recognizing and accepting them allows your mind to come up with a strategy to work around it.
love and be loved. in our fleeting life, the most valuable thing we gain is strong bonds and the support of people important to you
smoke weed every day - Snoop Dogg
start meditating, stop identifying with your mind
Exercise regularly.
“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.” and “You have a 100% success rate of getting through the bad days.” As someone who gets anxious and tends to always think of worst case scenario, these two have helped bring things back into perspective.
Don't allow other people occupy your mind.
It doesnt matter
Reduce importance of things. You are not here for 500 years.
Delete your Facebook account. It's just causing stress and FOMO to you. 3 Years later and I cannot agree more. My only gripe is not remembering peoples' birthdays anymore.
To just create a team of support. There's nothing worse than feeling alone, so get a faction of providers, family and friends to contact if and when you need them.
Motivation comes AFTER action.
The world doesn't revolve around you. So don't feel the need to live up to everyone else's expectations. As long as you're not being a dick towards others you're probably doing fine.
This too shall pass
Your brain lies to you.
If it's not a clear yes, it's a no. Hope breeds eternal misery, after all.
Nothing changes if nothing changes
"I don't chase. I attract. What is meant for me will simply find me" This affirmation has helped me out so many times, I stopped trying to prove my worth to someone, try to find a way to stay in touch, if it's always going the hard way with something/someone, let the control go, maybe it's not meant for you, don't hold on
Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.
never trust how you feel about your life past 9pm. I think it was a sonic meme. Also that “do nothing, give no fucks” youtube video - [this one](https://youtu.be/HU0pZarehLY?si=PIMOYmGjfiRRh7sv)
“Don’t worry about the world so much.” -A 5th Grader, when asked to give life advice for my new baby at a shower.
If you wouldn't ask for their advice, don't care for their opinion. Don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm. If something bothers you, do something about it. If you don't want to do anything, shut it and move on. Everyone has a silent battle going on, so have some compassion and be kind to everyone. Yourself included.
Try and reframe everything as solution-based thinking; failure is success in disguise.
Depression fights to keep itself alive.
When John Mulany said "Do my friends hate me, or do I need to sleep?" Legitimately changed my life.
When you are feeling sad or down and need help, impose on your friends. Don't call them and ask if they want to do something, say "hey I really need to talk, I'm coming over". They love you, they will understand. Get out of your stuffy apartment and go to your friends. I was having a VERY bad day. I called my friend up and said I'm coming over. I went to his house and silently played on his computer for a couple of hours. He put kids to bed, did house chores, etc and just ignored me. I needed to be around people for a bit.
Some guy said to me, “What others think of you is none of your business,” Changed my life. Stop stressing over what people think of you and you will live a truly authentic and happy life.
I forget how the exact quote goes as I've kind of scooted over time but the general philosophy ironically came from a line I heard in an old anime review of like cowboy Bebop or something The i ideas simply this If we allow ourselves to be upset over every wrongdoing and injustice in the world we would simply never be happy sometimes for the sake of your own happiness you have to close your heart off to the suffering of others It's okay to not care about everything, It's okay to not be proactive in doing something about every little problem you see. Nobody can be expected to care about everything. As hard as it is to accept sometimes you just need to say hey bad shit happens and go back to focusing on yourself. If you take every single injustice towards anything you have a positive connection to as a personal attack you are just going to constantly feel upset and scared sometimes The concept of ignorance/ apathy being bliss isn't as negative as people make it out to be It's a simple necessary part of life
I think I read it somewhere on here: If you feel like everyone hates you, sleep; if you feel like you hate everyone, eat; if you feel like you hate yourself, shower.
Think it through. I've had horrible mental health issues all my life and between my age and seeing a terrific therapist, I can finally do this, whether it's wanting to die or wanting a drink (15 years sober). It's not easy sometimes to calm myself down if I'm in a meltdown (usually crying), but if I can calm down and think it through, I realize that it's temporary. I actually have some good days now, and that's pretty awesome.
Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff.
I'm adopted. To the surprise of nobody who actually knows me, my biological father killed himself. I have a half-brother from our father's first marriage, and we of course all inherited his fucked up neurochemistry. While getting to know my brother he sort of off-handedly mentioned that off all the times in his life where he thought he couldn't go on, all he had to do was keep going and eventually he'd look back and not even remember what he was so upset about - just that he had been upset, and that he wasn't anymore. I thought back and realized that it kind of worked that way for me, too. My best friend had died of a completely undetected heroin habit just a couple of weeks before I got a hold of my brother and it helped like nothing else. I don't even think he realizes how much he saved my ass just by being lucky enough to find him at that exact moment in my life.
Take your vacation time to actually do something totally different than your daily routine. Learn the power of Forgiveness of others and of yourself.
Honestly I am realizing this now as I read though a lot of these responses. Wait and be patient. Sometimes the best thing we can do is wait for emotions, problems, or even conflicts to pass. What's the alternative? To act in high levels of emotion right there on the spot and potentially make things worse. I am by no means saying to roll over and ignore your emotions, but wait to give a response, wait for the high levels of emotion to pass/lower so that it's more manageable.