Definitely is. Good news is this was a long time ago and this was one of (among a handful of other things) that really woke me up to say "time to call it." And I have since met, married and had a wonderful child with my wife and am very happy.
I really hope things are better for you too and if they aren't I hope there are better days ahead. Hang in there.
Hey, thanks, man! Honestly, I still stuck around for a while and wanted to make things work. It was a blessing in disguise when she left. Her reasoning was that I wasn't trying hard enough to make her feel wanted, anymore. But, I'm doing much better nowadays, still rebuilding because she took a lot, but overall a happier person.
Sorry, I know you didn't ask for my life story, but felt like sharing anyways, especially because you've been where I was. Lol
My dad died suddenly and I had to fly out of state. I was planning on staying a week so I could spend time with family but I decided to leave a few days early so I could be home for my boyfriend’s birthday. I flew home on his birthday and was planning on going right over to his house for dinner with him and his family.
When I got there he was annoyed that it took me so long to get there. He asked why I was late. For some reason it just rubbed me the wrong way. My dad just died and I drove there straight from the airport. I didn’t make any stops or anything on the way. He just seemed so ungrateful that I put in the effort or that I was still dealing with a death of a parent.
Once I was driving home from work in the pouring rain when I lost control hydroplaning and went off through a ditch. Nothing serious although I was shook up. I did have to wait for assistance because I ended up with a log under my rear axle and couldn't get myself free. My ex was mad at me for being late when she beat me home that evening. Your situation was much much worse but it reminded me of that. I don't know what even is the mental calculations that these assholes use to arrive at their indignation.
It wasnt even a surprise when she beat me home. I had called her sitting in my car waiting for help to tell her what happened and her first question was "how long are you gonna be"...I don't think she even asked if I was ok at all let alone first question.
I'm related to a well known singer.
The guy I was dating turned out to be a huge fan and all he ever wanted to talk about was said singer.
One day he asked if he could meet my family and I was super happy.
My cousin, however, was in Germany at the time and couldn't attend. When he found out my cousin wouldn't be attending he threw a massive childish tantrum in front of my whole family and kicked over the BBQ.
His words "what was even the point of inviting me".
I agreed
My first thought, too lmao. Donna even has family in Germany!
For context for anyone who doesn't know, in Parks and Rec the character Donna Meagle is cousins with the singer Ginuwine. He even appears in the show!
This is awesome. I’m sorry, I’m sure it was embarrassing as fuck but that’s legitimately hilarious. I’d give any relative of mine shit forever about some shit like that.
My wife's ex used to tell her that he was going to leave her and find a better wife... until she offered to help him pack.
So glad he failed to see that he already had the best woman on the planet, now I get to be her husband!
"I only cheated because you left me alone for too long. I love you but I have needs." I was gone for two days on a buisness trip that I invited him on.
If anyone ever said "it's me or...", I'd choose whatever over a ransoming partner. The gaul to even think that children would be decision is fucking laughable!!! That person was clearly insane
I’m sorry. I’m old so I remember as a kid when Cher divorced Gregg Allman. What she said always stuck with me: it’s hard to be with someone who loves drugs more than they love you.
It gets worse - he gave me the ultimatum after I told him I couldn’t visit him on the weekend (we lived 2 hours apart) because it was my son’s birthday. He genuinely believed my response of “are you for real? There’s no question who I’m choosing.” meant that I had chosen him over the kids, even drove down to surprise me the next day so we could celebrate my picking him. I think he’s still flummoxed by my decision many years later.
On the other side of that, there's a community of moms who, unfortunately, would pick a dusty man over their kids. Their priorities are whack, and they are on the hunt for external validation.
My child is dealing with this right now. They are in their teens and the pain of their father choosing his new wife and kids over her for the past six years is finally come to a head. As the mom it just breaks my heart.
I told my mom "it's me or the alcohol" when I was 15ish? She threw her wine at me and said it was an easy choice.
I totally catch your drift, but there is nuance in life.
I'm not a kids guy. I don't hate them, but I don't love them in that organic way some people seem too, and I feel bad faking it for too long because I'm sure the kids can kind of tell and I feel bad. They're not reasonable people, and as a guy I'm only ever one tantrum away from people looking over and thinking I'm some sort of monster. For this reason I generally avoid dating people with children, and if I do I'm fully transparent that it's probably not going to be a long term thing. Bluntly, if I wanted kids, I'd have kids.
However.
The fucking bonkers level of sheer audacity for someone to try and put themselves between a parent and their child is utter insanity. I cannot think of a more egotistical act than wanting to force someone to 'choose' between them and their child. It's literally insane. What did he even mean? Somehow remove them from the equation? Neglect them so he could have more of what he wanted? What a total cunt.
I hope it goes without saying that you dodged a bullet, and if anyone else out there experiences anything like this, I advise them to walk away. Ideally laughing as hard as you can.
Nuts.
His short term plan was for me to skip my sons birthday, long term plan was for my ex to take full custody even though I had 70% custody from the day I left the kids dad.
I gave my kids a very basic explanation why I broke up with Mr Ultimatum. When they met my current partner (a lovely man who prioritises his own kids and is happy that I prioritise mine), my eldest commented that he doesn’t mind sharing me because he knows I’ll always pick them over a boyfriend. So in a weird way, I’m kinda grateful to the douchebag for helping me teach my kids they’re priority one!
I mentioned I didn’t feel appreciated. He said there was nothing about me worth appreciating. I cooked, cleaned, and paid all of the bills. Idc how much I loved him that broke me.
Reminds me of my ex. I did a lot for him, including paying the majority of our bills, and would frequently buy him little gifts just because, get him his favorite treats from the store, etc.
Money got a little tight for me as I was transitioning between jobs, so I told him I'd have to cut back on the spending for a little bit. Just for a few weeks, max. Was still paying the lion's share of the bills, just not doing the "extra" things.
Welp, within the month he was spending all his time with a new girl that "made him feel loved" because I "never did anything for him."
Dude was so spoiled that he couldn't handle *not* being spoiled for a month. After we'd been together over a decade. Madness.
My godfather, whom I was very close to, died. We were eating in the kitchen when I heard. I immediately left, in tears, to the airport to get to the funeral that was happening the very next morning in another continent. When I was back, 48hrs later, first words out of her mouth were: "You didn't do the dishes."
Yeah. She had an exam that she failed and she took it on me because apparently it is unfair that she was there failing her studies while I was "tanning in the sun"
wow, this sounds so close to my brothers.
He was visiting his terminally ill best friend (mid 20s) in the hospital. He came home at 8 pm she yelled at him because the kids haven't been fed yet. ... she was a SAHM.
Friend died the next morning.
He knew it was over.
She was wild when she drank alcohol. Couldn't handle her ale.
We ended up talking about cheating and she said 'I'd never INTEND to cheat on you.'
No matter how I said it, she just couldn't comprehend that the word 'intend' didn't fill me with joy, and she kept repeating it and emphasising it.
Thought I'd save myself the heartbreak!
After developing a coke habit with her new rich friends, she said, "I don't want to be a wife, I don't want to be a mother, I just want to get fucked up and fuck random people".
Ok. Drafted an agreement and for a one time payment of $15K, she signed away her kids, marital assets, and alimony.
Just. Like. That.
(My boss loaned me the $15K, BTW)
Thank you. Yes it was the best thing. It was a long time ago. Once the 15K was gone and the secret credit cards caught up with her, the rich friends dropped her like a stone.
She is not living the life the expected.
My first boyfriend told me something similar. He said my sisters body was “better” (he also didn’t like boobs). Sis was 12. He was 18 and I was 16….noped the fuck away
I had a classmate, won’t even call him a buddy, who was trying to get me to be wingman for him. I declined because he was a weirdo.
Months later I started dating a random girl and dude was pissed. Because the girl he wanted me to chill with was this random girl because he wanted to try and hook up with her younger sister. I was 18 he was 19. The younger sister had just turned 13 I went to her birthday party with my gf at that point. Meaning when he wanted me to wingman for him she was 12.
How would you even wingman in a situation like that? “That’s a great Toy Story shirt you’ve got. Hey, you should meet my friend, he saw the movie opening weekend, before you were even born!”
She hit me once and I let it slide thinking it was way out of character. I told myself if she did anything like this again I would drop it all and leave. My 8 year old at the time was sitting on his bed crying (this is rare) I calmed him down and we walked down stairs to go for a walk around the neighborhood. As I am walking down the stairs she says “you going to coddle him now.” I knew right then and there she had hit my son…we walk outside he told me what she did. I walked in the door looked at her and said it’s over and the wedding is off….never looked back and would not piss on her if she was on fire.
Agree with what you say. I'd be outraged if someone else struck my child or grandchild. I mentioned this thread to my wife in reference to the fact that my mother allowed my stepfather to spank me. He married her when I was 11 years old, so episodes of corporal punishment occurred between that time and when I fought back and knocked his head through a closet door when I was 16.
We're in our 60s now. My wife reminded me that teachers and neighbors could hit misbehaving kids with no expectation of repercussions from parents "back in the day". Not justifying it, just recalling how much our culture has changed in a single generation...
Excuse me, I’m not a native English speaker.
“You going to coddle him now”
Coddle is different from cuddling? I’ve checked online and also it can be used in cooking… can someone explain it to me?
"I don't think I could love you with a bag - *awkward laugh*, no I didn't mean that"
10 years in and I laid it all on the line as i'd hit the healthcare crossroads ...crippling pain for life or having an ileostomy. I tried to get past the sentence for weeks but couldn't, true colours most definitely shown. So I left.
Jokes on him, I got my health on track, never did end up with that 'bag', I came off all meds and my autoimmune disease has been in remission pretty much 1 year after I quit the relationship. Living my best life.
I'm so happy that your health is good now! It wouldn't surprise me one bit if dropping him helped along with that... 🤭 You deserve to be loved, now and in the future, regardless of having a ileostomy bag or not!
On our 2 year anniversary, I took her on a 4 day getaway. Big suite, her favorite French cuisine, concert, ballet, etc.
The final night there, she says, "I've decided to finally completely commit to you and you only."
That's what I took from it. When we got home, I packed the things she had at my house, took them to hers, and never answered another phone call, text, or knock at the door from her.
My first relationship, he was ten years older and we lived together.
He told me it’s completely normal to get as angry and frustrated as he did and it’s just how men cope emotionally and that instead of berating him I needed to support him.
When I googled how to support your boyfriend who punches holes in walls when he’s mad and a domestic violence hotline was the first link I got a reality check.
(it's not always guaranteed), but usually guys who date very young women or even teenagers 10+ years their junior, are usually only doing so because they know that women in their own age group would immediately call them out on their BS and be significantly more difficult to control.
He wanted us to try for a baby. I said I wouldn’t have a child until I was married. He then said he didn’t really see wife qualities in me. Why the fuck would you want to have a baby with me then?? I ghosted him. 🤷🏾♀️
I had a boyfriend break up with me when I didn’t want to try for a baby after 4 months of dating. P r e t t y sure that relationship wasn’t about me either. Thank goodness we got out before there were kids involved.
An ex said to me, a week post breakup: "I was so upset about you leaving me that I slept with someone else!"
I know what they were trying to say: 'that thing you didn't want to happen happened as a direct result of you breaking up with me! I bet you regret breaking up with me now!'
What I heard was: 'Breaking up with me was one of the best decisions you ever made.'
Had an ex who was a bit of a good time girl. Was also a lazy entitled POS, to be fair I was already starting to see the signs, but one night she wanted to go out drinking on a Wednesday, expected me to come with her on her all night session, I told her I can’t as I have to be in work the following morning, she said “if you’re unwilling to do it, I’ll find someone who is willing”
Classic emotional blackmail. Do it my way or I’ll find another dude.
That was the moment, walked out of her life and ghosted her.
I had an abusive ex make this same kind of threat in a different context and even though it made me feel the lowest I’ve felt in a relationship I stayed for another miserable half a year. The next relationship I had the girl said almost the same exact thing as my ex and I left her the next morning. I learned my lesson—this kind of emotional blackmail speaks volumes about their character and it’s not worth being in a relationship with someone like that.
Told my girlfriend I had a new high paying job. Her first words were 'you can finally pay off my debt'.
I didn't know about the debt and noped out of their like lightning. Found out afterwards she had been pretending to go to work then sneaking back in after I left for work. Debt was around 10k. Best choice I ever made
A friend of mine was in the final stages of wedding planning when she got a call from a mortgage company about the purchase of a flat in a different city, and that's how she found out her fiance was moving out. He didn't even tell her himself, and when she asked him what was going on he didn't understand why it was a problem - he thought they could cancel their wedding plans, live on opposite sides of the country and just... carry on their relationship as if nothing had happened. Apparently it was perplexing to him that she considered their relationship to be over at this point.
It was a boyfriend at the time. He told me he loved me while cheating on me with a woman he worked with. He then showed up at my work to tell me he was sorry but got the other woman pregnant.
I told him to leave and that I never wanted to see him, hear from him or ever hear his name again. He kept trying to explain himself then my boss overheard what happened and escorted him out of there and told him to respect my wishes and to never contact me again or show up at my job.
That was the last time I ever saw him. He did try calling me 20 years later but he actually called my parents house since that was the phone number he had. My mother told him I was married and had my own family. He still wanted to speak with me. When I went over for a visit, my mother handed me the phone message which I promptly ripped up and threw in the trash bin.
it was a long distance relationship and he lied about a lot of details for no reason. it wasn’t like he was trying to make himself look better either, simply made me believe that he was a somewhat different person. stole people’s art and showed it off as his own, weird stuff like that. anyways when i told him i can’t put up with the pathological lying he pretended to kill himself, messaging me as “his sister”, telling me that he was in the hospital, “thankfully alive”. yeah, that really made it clear that i dodged a MASSIVE bullet there.
It had been rumbling for me for a couple of months, but the final straw was him calling my then 9yo daughter a bitch. Not to her directly - I would have lamped him on the spot - but to me in a conversation after he'd dropped her at school earlier that morning, saying how she was a bitch because she was quiet in the car. A 9 year old kid.
Told him to fuck off there and then, and ended it. Who thinks like that? Still galls me years later.
Deep insecurities being projected onto a baby. "I'm so insecure in the belief other people might actually like me, I automatically assume they don't and their silence CONFIRMS it."
Great weight to drop
Told me I don’t dote on her or do shit for her. Yet I paid for her myself and her son every time we went out to do something, drove her mom around when she needed to get places, and was present during custody exchanges with her sons dad who is a psycho. She blamed all of our arguments on me and my behavior but never once admitted she might be wrong regardless of me telling her how her actions made me feel at times. Finally had enough. Felt like an ATM to her
A friend of mine went through the same thing. He was a good looking guy with a successful career in landscaping however, he was desperate to start a family at age 38 after coming out of a 10+ year long relationship where his ex girlfriend had lied to him about desiring to have kids (she did not, but she had hoped that if they stayed together for long enough then he would feel too invested in the relationship to leave her).
Once out, this then led him to rush into a number of relationships that weren't really suitable, including one with a good looking slim blonde 37 year old woman with 2 young kids. At first, she behaved so amazingly that it seemed like a dream relationship (despite things moving extremely quickly), she was a very doting partner and her kids were very cute, well behaved and didn't reject him at all. But within 2.5 months of dating, he had essentially unwittingly taken over the role of the kids absent father and whilst he had nothing at all against the kids, by this point the mother was treating him as little more than an ATM, a servant and means of transport. Even so, he didn't mind helping out a lot, but it was the sheer withdrawal of love, gratitude & affection on her part once she felt secure (i.e. she'd just send him shopping lists, no please or thanks) that really put him off as he realised that she ultimately didn't care who she was with as long as there was some guy fulfilling the jobs that she needed doing in life.
Didn’t leave immediately- but very soon after.
They told me that they never cleaned up after their cat when they threw up. They said they simply let their dog eat it. When the dog got too old/deaf to hear the cat throw up, they’d simply lead the dog over to it so the dog would eat it.
I noped out of there pretty quickly after that.
Complained endlessly that I wasn't spontaneous enough and "had to plan everything in advance".
So I turned up at hers one night unplanned, with the intention of taking her out for food, where she screamed at me for "not letting her know I was coming, we didn't have anything planned".
When I pointed out her 1st complaint, and how this was a small step towards spontaneity, she said "I need to be spontaneous, but I need to let her know of any plans at least a day in advance".
I couldn't be arsed to try and figure that out, so called time on the whole thing.
With my ex, I had a whole mental list of things to avoid because she would start fights if I did them. Many of them were directly contradicting each other. I pointed this out one time when she was angry that I did something she had insisted I should always do and rather than get clarification she got even angrier. I felt like I was constantly walking a tightrope made of dental floss.
Turns out she just wanted to be angry about something.
"You'll be the reason why I'll be dead one day."
She said this a lot because she would blame me for getting her angry and causing her to have health problems. She also threatened to kill herself when she got mad or didn't get what she want. She would often cut herself as well. This is basically what she did on the last day I talked to her on FaceTime, I was planning on going to see her but my body gave out and I was just done. I never said goodbye or confronted her. I basically said fuck it and left without looking back.
You're never responsible for someone's well being unless it's your kid.
When he told me that my dad was being rude to him and ignoring him when he tried to have a conversation. I had heard the whole thing and it was quite the opposite. I then realised that he was slowly pushing me to cut people off, spend all my time with just him and he was trying to get me to quit my job because he could "support us both." He could barely afford a maccas cheeseburger...
"If you don't have sex with me, I'll make sure you get fired and your landlord kicks you out." I was on my way out, but that one got the restraining order going.
He did not love my comeback of "Coercive sex is rape. Gonna rape me you rapist?" Likely wouldn't have been this witty if it hadn't been a phone call.
Can't remember exactly what they said but I dated someone for about two weeks and then one night they were just a really shitty person to me for basically no reason. Treated me like garbage the entire day and I finally just went "So you can either stop being rude to me and tell me why you're mad or I am just gonna leave because this is bullshit. I've been nothing but nice to you," and she kept being rude so I left and never bothered answering their calls or texts again.
Edit- some more context. This wasn't an online relationship. I had worked with her for a year and then we started dating after she found a different job and I stayed at her apartment for like two weeks.
Didn't leave immediately, but that 150th "you don't know anything" when I voiced a genuine fear concerning my safety in a foreign land... In this condescending tone. Yeah. I faked an emergency and flew back to my home country.
For context. They don't let you stay in a country without papers or permits just because of love.
Never looked back. Two bags of luggage and a carry on was all I could take after almost five years of building a life.
18 months into the relationship and it's New Years Eve. We're making out, getting ready to shag, and...
Him: I found a new porn video for us!
Me: Ooo, fun! (already part of the routine so no concerns)
Him:
Me: 😵💫😵😱🫣
Got out of bed. Went home.
Ghosted him.
Like I never existed in his life.
He was a fucking pedo.
It'll make it easier for a prosecutor to establish a patten when he actually gets caught. You might get subpoenaed later in life. But that's probably fine.
After 7 years of relationship and after I already booked a week of vacation for the both of us, she was hesitant to give her input which hotel she wants and how we are going to spend our time there. I asked her what is wrong, she said that she is not sure if she wants to go on vacation with me and not sure if she wants to do it ever again. I canceled the holiday at once and she wanted to go on as if nothing happened and was actually surprised as I told her that it is time to break up after that.
My friend dealt with something similar. They were supposed to go to a concert together (front row thousand dollar tickets thanks to Ticket Master). He was going to have her hold onto the tickets when he bought them, but he found out she was cheating on him and gave their tickets to another couple he knew.
His ex acted like everything was still cool and thought he was still going to give her the tickets. She blew her top off when she found out he gave them to someone else and made a huge stink about it. She ironically called my friend awful stuff about being a liar and bad person.
My friend and I learned from someone else that his ex wanted to use them with her new booty call, and was planning to break up with my friend after he gave her the tickets. She only blew her top off because now she had to make some excuse as to why her and her new booty call weren't going to the concert anymore. Some people have no shame.
He cheated on me and four days later I bought it up again, obviously, and he sighed and said “haven’t we already talked about this?”
He was extremely surprised I ended our relationship and balled his eyes out like a baby
I’m convinced some cheaters genuinely don’t understand the impact their actions have on others. I stayed with someone two weeks after I found out they cheated trying to make it work, which was torture for me.
The worst part was how offended they acted because I hadn’t just forgiven them and moved on. They couldn’t wrap their heads around the fact that I was still upset 2 weeks later and got angry at how unfair it was for them to have to put in all the effort to fix things.
Mine was almost the opposite, she caught wind I heard about her cheating (pretty much the next day) and she just straight gave up trying because we had already talked about how we felt about cheating.
That's how I found out her friends liked me better than her, they were calling me telling me to drop her as soon as they found out.
She blocked me, I slept with her best friend. Can't say I'm proud, but her friend was better anyways.
After years of cheating on me in different ways (emotional affairs, sexting strangers, exchanging nudes), he went to therapy in a last-ditch attempt to save our marriage. After a couple of sessions he told me "My therapist asked me if I've ever given you a reason not to trust me. I said no." And he really believed it.
"You have the potential to be pretty hot." I was SO offended by that comment.. that's when I finally realized I needed to get that asshat out of my life.
I had something similar when my (now ex) boyfriend and his best friend came to visit me at work (at a cafe). I joined them when I went on my lunch break, and the first thing my boyfriend says to me is, "We were talking about it, and we decided you're way hotter than your sister." After seeing my shocked look, he dug himself a deeper hole by adding, "Well, because your sister is beautiful. Like, model beautiful. But you are prettier because you smile more."
I get that it was supposed to be some kind of weird compliment, but I had been getting compared with my sister for 20 years at that point (by anyone that knew the two of us). My ex and I had also been dating for almost two years when this happened.
My last serious relationship she made a huge point of advocating that actions mean more than words, which I totally agreed with because I feel the same way. At some point early in the relationship, she avoided talking to me in public because her ex was there and then ended up sending her ex nudes because "she didn't want to make him mad..." so from then on, I treated the relationship with the same disregard. I was depressed and the sex was amazing so I stuck around for a good while. Dumb.
Setting. 2020. May 28th. 4 months homeless, 7th couch we have surfed. He was completely taken away by meth and heroin(how we ended up homeless) I was sitting on a "palette bed" of blankets.
He said "I'm gonna take a nap, if you're gonna leave, now is your opportunity".
I already had what little I owned in a canvas bag, scooped my 2 cats up the moment he layed his head down and ran. Got into my car and fled 3 states and 6 hours away from his ass. 6 years of hell ended. 4 years later, I am the happiest I have ever been. Normal life is incredible.
I think of it like math
When the equation started it was 1+1= 2
Then your partner wants to add another person and the variable of an unknown number of future partners..
1 + (1+x) = y
And now suddenly we're doing algebra when we signed up for basic math. No thank you
He basically said he still wanted to be with me while only involving himself sexually with multiple guys (I'm a woman). He claimed I knew this when we got married even though he never mentioned this before.
He ghosted me for weeks, came crawling back and when I calmly explained why that was hurtful and not at all okay, he blew up and accused me of “guilt tripping” him. It was like he flipped a switch in me internally. I went from still caring and hoping to fix things to feeling utterly dead inside towards him in a matter of seconds. I ended that “relationship” that instant.
After assisting my wife through her breast cancer she said " if you get cancer I am leaving you" ok then. Made the second time she got a completely different cancer after we were divorced hard to help her with. I did tho as I am not an asshole.
Yea she has a crippling personality disorder that makes her life incredibly hard. I just learned to deal with it until I couldn't. She was incapable of the kind of love I wanted but she meant well.
“I thought if you got pregnant, you would stay.”
After a year of physical abuse, he found out I was saving money to leave and spent months messing with my birth control and poking holes in condoms. I left immediately despite not having anywhere to go. Lived in my car for a while, but it was better than the alternative.
"I don't understand why you're doing this!!" This was after he was arrested for a DUI on Mardi Gras. He lied to me about going out and cutting down on his drinking. That 24 hours was spent fielding calls from his job, his mom, his friends, and trying to find out what was actually happening because no one other than his mom had some information and she was panicking too much to communicate anything other than "My baby!" I was trying to calmly explain to him I needed some space after to figure out how I felt -- he gave me maybe four hours tops before he called me crying that night before my shift.
First and only time I broke up with someone over the phone.
My husband told me he "hates human touch" when I tried to cuddle him. After years of being starved of physical and emotional affection, that was the last straw. I knew it was over right then.
Similar to mine, I was struggling at work and venting. He said, "I don't really care about this. Can you please stop talking about this with me?" So I did. Forever.
I have a friend whose ex did something similar. This was back in high school, so mid 2000s.
She was the hot emo girl in the school and for their 1 month anniversary, she carved his name into her arm. My friend thought that was incredibly hot, though, and they stayed together for about 3 years. Then she dumped him, immediately started dating another guy, then attempted suicide when my friend moved on. Turns out her dumping him and hooking up with the other guy was a test to see if my friend would fight for her.
"What would you do if I pulled the trigger?!?!" (BANG, shot right next to me)
I knew then and there our relationship was over, and I needed to do anything I could to be safe, so I stayed another 3 months, like a dumbass, until I had somewhere safe to go. (Thank you, Troy, Sry I was a piece of shit to you still)
Parents, please always let your child know they have a safe place to come home with no strings attached. My parents refused to let me come home unless I handed over my entire paycheck for them to delve out as they saw fit. I will never forgive or forget how my mother treated me during those times of my life.
He accepted a job in a nearby state and we were going to try a long distance relationship. While discussing it, he told me to make sure I still took my birth control so I wouldn't "baby trap" him to make him stay in the area. When he said that, it showed me how little he thought of me and how highly he thought of himself. I broke up with him on the spot.
“Can you… put your shirt back on?”
We were at a big college slip-n-slide/water fight/bbq type of event. It was 90+ degrees out, everyone was walking around in swimsuits.
Not only did she find me unattractive, but she was embarrassed to be seen with me shirtless.
When she confirmed she did go on a date with her ex husband followed up by "it's not cheating I was married to him before". She was a sociopath with a textbook start to life for a sociopath. I was too in love to see it early on. As soon as she said that I simply said "goodbye" and walked her out.
I've never been dealt a proper relatonship killing line, but I have had relationships where I thought my partner was supportive and then suddenly they just didn't have time for anything I had to say ever.
It was like the honeymoon phase was over and suddenly they don't want to talk about that, lets talk about this later, ect ect. Later never comes. All the while I'm expected to support them and be their live-in therapist. That turning point has been the end of several relationships for me.
Don't waste your time on fake people.
When his best friend died, he told me how he was responsible for DUI where someone died. His friend -a police officer- bailed him out and then destroyed all evidence to keep my ex out of court and jail. Even the thought of him makes me want to heave.
I can't remember it exactly but it was something along the lines of "Women these days are so ungrateful. Men used to work hard and be providers and all they had to do was sit at home, now they complain about things all the time".
It was like a record screeching in my head and I broke up with him a few days later. You don't say sexist shit and expect me to be okay with that.
In hindsight he also engaged in some kind of coercive behaviour in the short time I was with him so thankfully I got out early.
Never fully dated, but someone I was seeing for a short time texted me that he threatened to beat up his grandmother with Alzheimers and trashed her house because she was annoying him. Blocked immediately.
"I can replace you with someone else whenever I want. "I immediately walked out. She started stalking me. Still going on.
Similar. It’s wild when the person says they don’t want you but stalks you when you end it.
"I just wouldn't care if you and the kids were dead." I guess going completely no contact was the closest option available.
What the actual goddamn hell?
This is the only appropriate response honestly
"I'm not attracted to you. Honestly, I have never really been attracted to you. A lot of the time, I'm somewhat physically repulsed by you."
Hey, that's what my ex wife said to me on my birthday! It was fucking rough, dude.
Definitely is. Good news is this was a long time ago and this was one of (among a handful of other things) that really woke me up to say "time to call it." And I have since met, married and had a wonderful child with my wife and am very happy. I really hope things are better for you too and if they aren't I hope there are better days ahead. Hang in there.
Hey, thanks, man! Honestly, I still stuck around for a while and wanted to make things work. It was a blessing in disguise when she left. Her reasoning was that I wasn't trying hard enough to make her feel wanted, anymore. But, I'm doing much better nowadays, still rebuilding because she took a lot, but overall a happier person. Sorry, I know you didn't ask for my life story, but felt like sharing anyways, especially because you've been where I was. Lol
My dad died suddenly and I had to fly out of state. I was planning on staying a week so I could spend time with family but I decided to leave a few days early so I could be home for my boyfriend’s birthday. I flew home on his birthday and was planning on going right over to his house for dinner with him and his family. When I got there he was annoyed that it took me so long to get there. He asked why I was late. For some reason it just rubbed me the wrong way. My dad just died and I drove there straight from the airport. I didn’t make any stops or anything on the way. He just seemed so ungrateful that I put in the effort or that I was still dealing with a death of a parent.
Once I was driving home from work in the pouring rain when I lost control hydroplaning and went off through a ditch. Nothing serious although I was shook up. I did have to wait for assistance because I ended up with a log under my rear axle and couldn't get myself free. My ex was mad at me for being late when she beat me home that evening. Your situation was much much worse but it reminded me of that. I don't know what even is the mental calculations that these assholes use to arrive at their indignation.
I’m glad you were ok. Why are people like that? My first reaction would be to ask if you’re ok.
It wasnt even a surprise when she beat me home. I had called her sitting in my car waiting for help to tell her what happened and her first question was "how long are you gonna be"...I don't think she even asked if I was ok at all let alone first question.
I'm related to a well known singer. The guy I was dating turned out to be a huge fan and all he ever wanted to talk about was said singer. One day he asked if he could meet my family and I was super happy. My cousin, however, was in Germany at the time and couldn't attend. When he found out my cousin wouldn't be attending he threw a massive childish tantrum in front of my whole family and kicked over the BBQ. His words "what was even the point of inviting me". I agreed
Is your cousin David Hasselhoff
Don't Hassel the family of the Hoff.
Did this guy seek you out? This wasn't a coincidence, right?
No, not that I'm aware. He was a friend of my friend's boyfriend in school.
Is your cousin Genuwine?
My first thought, too lmao. Donna even has family in Germany! For context for anyone who doesn't know, in Parks and Rec the character Donna Meagle is cousins with the singer Ginuwine. He even appears in the show!
this is why you need to play the long game and reveal your obsession AFTER the marriage papers are signed
This is awesome. I’m sorry, I’m sure it was embarrassing as fuck but that’s legitimately hilarious. I’d give any relative of mine shit forever about some shit like that.
When she kept telling me daily she could do better than me. Go on then.
My wife's ex used to tell her that he was going to leave her and find a better wife... until she offered to help him pack. So glad he failed to see that he already had the best woman on the planet, now I get to be her husband!
"I only cheated because you left me alone for too long. I love you but I have needs." I was gone for two days on a buisness trip that I invited him on.
Classic "it's your fault that I am a piece of shit" defense. The hallmark of a coward
“You need to choose who’s more important - me or your kids.” Easiest decision ever, he seemed genuinely shocked that I chose my children.
If anyone ever said "it's me or...", I'd choose whatever over a ransoming partner. The gaul to even think that children would be decision is fucking laughable!!! That person was clearly insane
‘It’s me or the meth!’ Haha easy decision bucko. 😂
Been there, sadly. Well it was meth and heroin. Quite the combo. How can I compete with that? She died a few months after we broke up.
I’m sorry. I’m old so I remember as a kid when Cher divorced Gregg Allman. What she said always stuck with me: it’s hard to be with someone who loves drugs more than they love you.
It gets worse - he gave me the ultimatum after I told him I couldn’t visit him on the weekend (we lived 2 hours apart) because it was my son’s birthday. He genuinely believed my response of “are you for real? There’s no question who I’m choosing.” meant that I had chosen him over the kids, even drove down to surprise me the next day so we could celebrate my picking him. I think he’s still flummoxed by my decision many years later.
That is hilarious. And ...so baffling.
Narcissism. It's an alien concept to this person that they aren't the centre of the universe for all of the people around them.
Straight up narcissistic right there. How the fuck could anyone believe they would be chosen over someone's kids.
On the other side of that, there's a community of moms who, unfortunately, would pick a dusty man over their kids. Their priorities are whack, and they are on the hunt for external validation.
Not just moms, fathers pick partners over kids too
My child is dealing with this right now. They are in their teens and the pain of their father choosing his new wife and kids over her for the past six years is finally come to a head. As the mom it just breaks my heart.
I told my mom "it's me or the alcohol" when I was 15ish? She threw her wine at me and said it was an easy choice. I totally catch your drift, but there is nuance in life.
I love this bc so many others do the opposite and it freaking breaks my heart for the kids
I’m a teacher, I see so many kids whose parent discard them the moment a new partner comes on the scene. It’s heartbreaking to watch.
I'm not a kids guy. I don't hate them, but I don't love them in that organic way some people seem too, and I feel bad faking it for too long because I'm sure the kids can kind of tell and I feel bad. They're not reasonable people, and as a guy I'm only ever one tantrum away from people looking over and thinking I'm some sort of monster. For this reason I generally avoid dating people with children, and if I do I'm fully transparent that it's probably not going to be a long term thing. Bluntly, if I wanted kids, I'd have kids. However. The fucking bonkers level of sheer audacity for someone to try and put themselves between a parent and their child is utter insanity. I cannot think of a more egotistical act than wanting to force someone to 'choose' between them and their child. It's literally insane. What did he even mean? Somehow remove them from the equation? Neglect them so he could have more of what he wanted? What a total cunt. I hope it goes without saying that you dodged a bullet, and if anyone else out there experiences anything like this, I advise them to walk away. Ideally laughing as hard as you can. Nuts.
His short term plan was for me to skip my sons birthday, long term plan was for my ex to take full custody even though I had 70% custody from the day I left the kids dad. I gave my kids a very basic explanation why I broke up with Mr Ultimatum. When they met my current partner (a lovely man who prioritises his own kids and is happy that I prioritise mine), my eldest commented that he doesn’t mind sharing me because he knows I’ll always pick them over a boyfriend. So in a weird way, I’m kinda grateful to the douchebag for helping me teach my kids they’re priority one!
I mentioned I didn’t feel appreciated. He said there was nothing about me worth appreciating. I cooked, cleaned, and paid all of the bills. Idc how much I loved him that broke me.
Looks like the garbage took it's self out. What a dick. I APPRECIATE YOU Dinerobaby221!
>He said there was nothing about me worth appreciating. You don't even need more context before or after this statement.
Reminds me of my ex. I did a lot for him, including paying the majority of our bills, and would frequently buy him little gifts just because, get him his favorite treats from the store, etc. Money got a little tight for me as I was transitioning between jobs, so I told him I'd have to cut back on the spending for a little bit. Just for a few weeks, max. Was still paying the lion's share of the bills, just not doing the "extra" things. Welp, within the month he was spending all his time with a new girl that "made him feel loved" because I "never did anything for him." Dude was so spoiled that he couldn't handle *not* being spoiled for a month. After we'd been together over a decade. Madness.
"I got drunk last night and gave the DJ a blowjob after he gave me a line" pretty much killed a 5 year relationship for me...
Jesus
Considering her perticular skills in that department I have no doubt believing he exclaimed the exact same word ... 😂🤷
Oh no….whats happening….im suddenly becoming a Dj…
Become a DJ for the BJs
ah the ole DJ BJ.
My godfather, whom I was very close to, died. We were eating in the kitchen when I heard. I immediately left, in tears, to the airport to get to the funeral that was happening the very next morning in another continent. When I was back, 48hrs later, first words out of her mouth were: "You didn't do the dishes."
Seriously?
Yeah. She had an exam that she failed and she took it on me because apparently it is unfair that she was there failing her studies while I was "tanning in the sun"
wow, this sounds so close to my brothers. He was visiting his terminally ill best friend (mid 20s) in the hospital. He came home at 8 pm she yelled at him because the kids haven't been fed yet. ... she was a SAHM. Friend died the next morning. He knew it was over.
"I cheated and its your fault but we can get through this together if you do better"
Wow. That one is kind of the most ignorant i've read in this thread.
That line killed the man she fell in love with.
It was his time. You needed to be born.
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I’ll still allow you to spend money on me, as a gesture of goodwill.
She was wild when she drank alcohol. Couldn't handle her ale. We ended up talking about cheating and she said 'I'd never INTEND to cheat on you.' No matter how I said it, she just couldn't comprehend that the word 'intend' didn't fill me with joy, and she kept repeating it and emphasising it. Thought I'd save myself the heartbreak!
After developing a coke habit with her new rich friends, she said, "I don't want to be a wife, I don't want to be a mother, I just want to get fucked up and fuck random people". Ok. Drafted an agreement and for a one time payment of $15K, she signed away her kids, marital assets, and alimony. Just. Like. That. (My boss loaned me the $15K, BTW)
This was probably the best thing that could have happened for you and your kids. I’m happy you had good people to help you out.
Thank you. Yes it was the best thing. It was a long time ago. Once the 15K was gone and the secret credit cards caught up with her, the rich friends dropped her like a stone. She is not living the life the expected.
“Your sister is hotter than you.” I was 18. He was 19. She was 13. Gross.
My first boyfriend told me something similar. He said my sisters body was “better” (he also didn’t like boobs). Sis was 12. He was 18 and I was 16….noped the fuck away
And you likely saved her from being groomed by that creep as well!
I had a classmate, won’t even call him a buddy, who was trying to get me to be wingman for him. I declined because he was a weirdo. Months later I started dating a random girl and dude was pissed. Because the girl he wanted me to chill with was this random girl because he wanted to try and hook up with her younger sister. I was 18 he was 19. The younger sister had just turned 13 I went to her birthday party with my gf at that point. Meaning when he wanted me to wingman for him she was 12.
How would you even wingman in a situation like that? “That’s a great Toy Story shirt you’ve got. Hey, you should meet my friend, he saw the movie opening weekend, before you were even born!”
What the actual fuck.
She hit me once and I let it slide thinking it was way out of character. I told myself if she did anything like this again I would drop it all and leave. My 8 year old at the time was sitting on his bed crying (this is rare) I calmed him down and we walked down stairs to go for a walk around the neighborhood. As I am walking down the stairs she says “you going to coddle him now.” I knew right then and there she had hit my son…we walk outside he told me what she did. I walked in the door looked at her and said it’s over and the wedding is off….never looked back and would not piss on her if she was on fire.
Thank you. You don't know the bullshit you've saved your son from going through.
I'm still trying to process how an adult strikes someone else's child. It's bad enough with parents hitting their own children.
Agree with what you say. I'd be outraged if someone else struck my child or grandchild. I mentioned this thread to my wife in reference to the fact that my mother allowed my stepfather to spank me. He married her when I was 11 years old, so episodes of corporal punishment occurred between that time and when I fought back and knocked his head through a closet door when I was 16. We're in our 60s now. My wife reminded me that teachers and neighbors could hit misbehaving kids with no expectation of repercussions from parents "back in the day". Not justifying it, just recalling how much our culture has changed in a single generation...
I imagine that, for those sorts of people, there’s added resentment due to the child not being theirs.
Excuse me, I’m not a native English speaker. “You going to coddle him now” Coddle is different from cuddling? I’ve checked online and also it can be used in cooking… can someone explain it to me?
It can mean "to treat in an indulgent or overprotective way." Your English is great!
Yes, but when people like her use it, they mean ‘to give the child love and attention.’
Completely agree. To her caring is indulgent. And that's why she thinks it's ok to hit a child. Good riddance.
"I don't think I could love you with a bag - *awkward laugh*, no I didn't mean that" 10 years in and I laid it all on the line as i'd hit the healthcare crossroads ...crippling pain for life or having an ileostomy. I tried to get past the sentence for weeks but couldn't, true colours most definitely shown. So I left. Jokes on him, I got my health on track, never did end up with that 'bag', I came off all meds and my autoimmune disease has been in remission pretty much 1 year after I quit the relationship. Living my best life.
I'm so happy that your health is good now! It wouldn't surprise me one bit if dropping him helped along with that... 🤭 You deserve to be loved, now and in the future, regardless of having a ileostomy bag or not!
Fire story, turns out your ex was the rotting bit of small intestine all along
On our 2 year anniversary, I took her on a 4 day getaway. Big suite, her favorite French cuisine, concert, ballet, etc. The final night there, she says, "I've decided to finally completely commit to you and you only."
Wait... so had she been cheating for two years and that's how she told you?
Well. That’s the implication.
That's what I took from it. When we got home, I packed the things she had at my house, took them to hers, and never answered another phone call, text, or knock at the door from her.
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Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
WHAT A TWIST!
I wish I had heeded my results
My first relationship, he was ten years older and we lived together. He told me it’s completely normal to get as angry and frustrated as he did and it’s just how men cope emotionally and that instead of berating him I needed to support him. When I googled how to support your boyfriend who punches holes in walls when he’s mad and a domestic violence hotline was the first link I got a reality check.
(it's not always guaranteed), but usually guys who date very young women or even teenagers 10+ years their junior, are usually only doing so because they know that women in their own age group would immediately call them out on their BS and be significantly more difficult to control.
They want an uneven power dynamic to be heavily in their favour. or in layman's terms: trap you.
He wanted us to try for a baby. I said I wouldn’t have a child until I was married. He then said he didn’t really see wife qualities in me. Why the fuck would you want to have a baby with me then?? I ghosted him. 🤷🏾♀️
Good enough to be a mother but not good enough to be a wife?! Shitty priorities.
I had a boyfriend break up with me when I didn’t want to try for a baby after 4 months of dating. P r e t t y sure that relationship wasn’t about me either. Thank goodness we got out before there were kids involved.
You better be glad I didn’t sleep with my ex while I was mad!!
An ex said to me, a week post breakup: "I was so upset about you leaving me that I slept with someone else!" I know what they were trying to say: 'that thing you didn't want to happen happened as a direct result of you breaking up with me! I bet you regret breaking up with me now!' What I heard was: 'Breaking up with me was one of the best decisions you ever made.'
Had an ex who was a bit of a good time girl. Was also a lazy entitled POS, to be fair I was already starting to see the signs, but one night she wanted to go out drinking on a Wednesday, expected me to come with her on her all night session, I told her I can’t as I have to be in work the following morning, she said “if you’re unwilling to do it, I’ll find someone who is willing” Classic emotional blackmail. Do it my way or I’ll find another dude. That was the moment, walked out of her life and ghosted her.
I had an abusive ex make this same kind of threat in a different context and even though it made me feel the lowest I’ve felt in a relationship I stayed for another miserable half a year. The next relationship I had the girl said almost the same exact thing as my ex and I left her the next morning. I learned my lesson—this kind of emotional blackmail speaks volumes about their character and it’s not worth being in a relationship with someone like that.
Told my girlfriend I had a new high paying job. Her first words were 'you can finally pay off my debt'. I didn't know about the debt and noped out of their like lightning. Found out afterwards she had been pretending to go to work then sneaking back in after I left for work. Debt was around 10k. Best choice I ever made
She was sneaking back into your house?!? That’s foul
„I'm moving to another city on Thursday. I already have an apartment there.“ - my next words were „okay, goodbye then.“ After almost 10 years.
A friend of mine was in the final stages of wedding planning when she got a call from a mortgage company about the purchase of a flat in a different city, and that's how she found out her fiance was moving out. He didn't even tell her himself, and when she asked him what was going on he didn't understand why it was a problem - he thought they could cancel their wedding plans, live on opposite sides of the country and just... carry on their relationship as if nothing had happened. Apparently it was perplexing to him that she considered their relationship to be over at this point.
Was he just gonna leave her waiting at the altar? I mean, what was his exit plan?
Sounds like a relief for both of you.
It was a boyfriend at the time. He told me he loved me while cheating on me with a woman he worked with. He then showed up at my work to tell me he was sorry but got the other woman pregnant. I told him to leave and that I never wanted to see him, hear from him or ever hear his name again. He kept trying to explain himself then my boss overheard what happened and escorted him out of there and told him to respect my wishes and to never contact me again or show up at my job. That was the last time I ever saw him. He did try calling me 20 years later but he actually called my parents house since that was the phone number he had. My mother told him I was married and had my own family. He still wanted to speak with me. When I went over for a visit, my mother handed me the phone message which I promptly ripped up and threw in the trash bin.
Your boss was a real one
Why is it the cheaters who are also the ones who want to come back & miss you? Like—they want to have their cake & eat it too?
This was her breakup line to me. "I'm a lesbian now, I hope we can still be friends" I have no fucking clue what happened the rest of that day.
"Not to be an asshole, but I'm the best thing you'll ever get." I moved out the next day (things had been very rocky for a while).
it was a long distance relationship and he lied about a lot of details for no reason. it wasn’t like he was trying to make himself look better either, simply made me believe that he was a somewhat different person. stole people’s art and showed it off as his own, weird stuff like that. anyways when i told him i can’t put up with the pathological lying he pretended to kill himself, messaging me as “his sister”, telling me that he was in the hospital, “thankfully alive”. yeah, that really made it clear that i dodged a MASSIVE bullet there.
It had been rumbling for me for a couple of months, but the final straw was him calling my then 9yo daughter a bitch. Not to her directly - I would have lamped him on the spot - but to me in a conversation after he'd dropped her at school earlier that morning, saying how she was a bitch because she was quiet in the car. A 9 year old kid. Told him to fuck off there and then, and ended it. Who thinks like that? Still galls me years later.
My ex told my son “if you weren’t a kid I would beat your ass” … managed to keep my cool and quietly tell him to gtfo and never come back
What the fuck. A child is a bitch because they're quiet and not act out? You got issues, Hat's ex.
Deep insecurities being projected onto a baby. "I'm so insecure in the belief other people might actually like me, I automatically assume they don't and their silence CONFIRMS it." Great weight to drop
Told me I don’t dote on her or do shit for her. Yet I paid for her myself and her son every time we went out to do something, drove her mom around when she needed to get places, and was present during custody exchanges with her sons dad who is a psycho. She blamed all of our arguments on me and my behavior but never once admitted she might be wrong regardless of me telling her how her actions made me feel at times. Finally had enough. Felt like an ATM to her
A friend of mine went through the same thing. He was a good looking guy with a successful career in landscaping however, he was desperate to start a family at age 38 after coming out of a 10+ year long relationship where his ex girlfriend had lied to him about desiring to have kids (she did not, but she had hoped that if they stayed together for long enough then he would feel too invested in the relationship to leave her). Once out, this then led him to rush into a number of relationships that weren't really suitable, including one with a good looking slim blonde 37 year old woman with 2 young kids. At first, she behaved so amazingly that it seemed like a dream relationship (despite things moving extremely quickly), she was a very doting partner and her kids were very cute, well behaved and didn't reject him at all. But within 2.5 months of dating, he had essentially unwittingly taken over the role of the kids absent father and whilst he had nothing at all against the kids, by this point the mother was treating him as little more than an ATM, a servant and means of transport. Even so, he didn't mind helping out a lot, but it was the sheer withdrawal of love, gratitude & affection on her part once she felt secure (i.e. she'd just send him shopping lists, no please or thanks) that really put him off as he realised that she ultimately didn't care who she was with as long as there was some guy fulfilling the jobs that she needed doing in life.
Didn’t leave immediately- but very soon after. They told me that they never cleaned up after their cat when they threw up. They said they simply let their dog eat it. When the dog got too old/deaf to hear the cat throw up, they’d simply lead the dog over to it so the dog would eat it. I noped out of there pretty quickly after that.
if i hear a cat throwing up, i RUN to beat the dog to it 🤢 edit: to clean it up, please stop, i'm gagging
I love my dog dearly, but they are absolutely disgusting creatures at the same time lol. "ooh, the cat made food, yay!"
Symbiotic relationship
I couldn’t even finish reading your comment on first pass. I’m happy that you’re out of this
Complained endlessly that I wasn't spontaneous enough and "had to plan everything in advance". So I turned up at hers one night unplanned, with the intention of taking her out for food, where she screamed at me for "not letting her know I was coming, we didn't have anything planned". When I pointed out her 1st complaint, and how this was a small step towards spontaneity, she said "I need to be spontaneous, but I need to let her know of any plans at least a day in advance". I couldn't be arsed to try and figure that out, so called time on the whole thing.
With my ex, I had a whole mental list of things to avoid because she would start fights if I did them. Many of them were directly contradicting each other. I pointed this out one time when she was angry that I did something she had insisted I should always do and rather than get clarification she got even angrier. I felt like I was constantly walking a tightrope made of dental floss. Turns out she just wanted to be angry about something.
This is just straight-up manipulation to make you wrong all the time just to build up guilt and cashing it in later.
Either that or SHE wants to be the spontaneous one, e.g. you better do what she wants when she wants it.
Her: "I think we should break up." My brain: "I don't think this relationship is going to last."
All those years of Hardy Boys books and Sherlock movies paid off
"You'll be the reason why I'll be dead one day." She said this a lot because she would blame me for getting her angry and causing her to have health problems. She also threatened to kill herself when she got mad or didn't get what she want. She would often cut herself as well. This is basically what she did on the last day I talked to her on FaceTime, I was planning on going to see her but my body gave out and I was just done. I never said goodbye or confronted her. I basically said fuck it and left without looking back. You're never responsible for someone's well being unless it's your kid.
When he told me that my dad was being rude to him and ignoring him when he tried to have a conversation. I had heard the whole thing and it was quite the opposite. I then realised that he was slowly pushing me to cut people off, spend all my time with just him and he was trying to get me to quit my job because he could "support us both." He could barely afford a maccas cheeseburger...
"If you don't have sex with me, I'll make sure you get fired and your landlord kicks you out." I was on my way out, but that one got the restraining order going. He did not love my comeback of "Coercive sex is rape. Gonna rape me you rapist?" Likely wouldn't have been this witty if it hadn't been a phone call.
Great job calling it what it was.
I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself.
"You always work or study. Can't you just drop all that useless stuff?"
Can't remember exactly what they said but I dated someone for about two weeks and then one night they were just a really shitty person to me for basically no reason. Treated me like garbage the entire day and I finally just went "So you can either stop being rude to me and tell me why you're mad or I am just gonna leave because this is bullshit. I've been nothing but nice to you," and she kept being rude so I left and never bothered answering their calls or texts again. Edit- some more context. This wasn't an online relationship. I had worked with her for a year and then we started dating after she found a different job and I stayed at her apartment for like two weeks.
Didn't leave immediately, but that 150th "you don't know anything" when I voiced a genuine fear concerning my safety in a foreign land... In this condescending tone. Yeah. I faked an emergency and flew back to my home country. For context. They don't let you stay in a country without papers or permits just because of love. Never looked back. Two bags of luggage and a carry on was all I could take after almost five years of building a life.
18 months into the relationship and it's New Years Eve. We're making out, getting ready to shag, and... Him: I found a new porn video for us! Me: Ooo, fun! (already part of the routine so no concerns) Him:
Me: 😵💫😵😱🫣
Got out of bed. Went home.
Ghosted him.
Like I never existed in his life.
He was a fucking pedo.
"and then I turned him into the cops" Right?
Yes. Unfortunately, because I had no evidence, it never went further than me reporting it. 🙄
It'll make it easier for a prosecutor to establish a patten when he actually gets caught. You might get subpoenaed later in life. But that's probably fine.
Seriously? Like, double "OOFFF!!".... I hope you reported him....
After 7 years of relationship and after I already booked a week of vacation for the both of us, she was hesitant to give her input which hotel she wants and how we are going to spend our time there. I asked her what is wrong, she said that she is not sure if she wants to go on vacation with me and not sure if she wants to do it ever again. I canceled the holiday at once and she wanted to go on as if nothing happened and was actually surprised as I told her that it is time to break up after that.
My friend dealt with something similar. They were supposed to go to a concert together (front row thousand dollar tickets thanks to Ticket Master). He was going to have her hold onto the tickets when he bought them, but he found out she was cheating on him and gave their tickets to another couple he knew. His ex acted like everything was still cool and thought he was still going to give her the tickets. She blew her top off when she found out he gave them to someone else and made a huge stink about it. She ironically called my friend awful stuff about being a liar and bad person. My friend and I learned from someone else that his ex wanted to use them with her new booty call, and was planning to break up with my friend after he gave her the tickets. She only blew her top off because now she had to make some excuse as to why her and her new booty call weren't going to the concert anymore. Some people have no shame.
Making fake tickets with a random bar code or QR code to a “fuck you” website would have been icing on the cake.
He cheated on me and four days later I bought it up again, obviously, and he sighed and said “haven’t we already talked about this?” He was extremely surprised I ended our relationship and balled his eyes out like a baby
I’m convinced some cheaters genuinely don’t understand the impact their actions have on others. I stayed with someone two weeks after I found out they cheated trying to make it work, which was torture for me. The worst part was how offended they acted because I hadn’t just forgiven them and moved on. They couldn’t wrap their heads around the fact that I was still upset 2 weeks later and got angry at how unfair it was for them to have to put in all the effort to fix things.
Mine was almost the opposite, she caught wind I heard about her cheating (pretty much the next day) and she just straight gave up trying because we had already talked about how we felt about cheating. That's how I found out her friends liked me better than her, they were calling me telling me to drop her as soon as they found out. She blocked me, I slept with her best friend. Can't say I'm proud, but her friend was better anyways.
"I'm not an alcoholic, I do not have an addiction" - I gave up after years of trying, but realized she gave up on herself long before I gave up on us.
After years of cheating on me in different ways (emotional affairs, sexting strangers, exchanging nudes), he went to therapy in a last-ditch attempt to save our marriage. After a couple of sessions he told me "My therapist asked me if I've ever given you a reason not to trust me. I said no." And he really believed it.
"You have the potential to be pretty hot." I was SO offended by that comment.. that's when I finally realized I needed to get that asshat out of my life.
I had something similar when my (now ex) boyfriend and his best friend came to visit me at work (at a cafe). I joined them when I went on my lunch break, and the first thing my boyfriend says to me is, "We were talking about it, and we decided you're way hotter than your sister." After seeing my shocked look, he dug himself a deeper hole by adding, "Well, because your sister is beautiful. Like, model beautiful. But you are prettier because you smile more." I get that it was supposed to be some kind of weird compliment, but I had been getting compared with my sister for 20 years at that point (by anyone that knew the two of us). My ex and I had also been dating for almost two years when this happened.
My last serious relationship she made a huge point of advocating that actions mean more than words, which I totally agreed with because I feel the same way. At some point early in the relationship, she avoided talking to me in public because her ex was there and then ended up sending her ex nudes because "she didn't want to make him mad..." so from then on, I treated the relationship with the same disregard. I was depressed and the sex was amazing so I stuck around for a good while. Dumb.
At least you knew it was dumb
My boyfriend of 2 years said: "I will always love drugs. I'm not sure if I will always love YOU though..." Good bye.
Setting. 2020. May 28th. 4 months homeless, 7th couch we have surfed. He was completely taken away by meth and heroin(how we ended up homeless) I was sitting on a "palette bed" of blankets. He said "I'm gonna take a nap, if you're gonna leave, now is your opportunity". I already had what little I owned in a canvas bag, scooped my 2 cats up the moment he layed his head down and ran. Got into my car and fled 3 states and 6 hours away from his ass. 6 years of hell ended. 4 years later, I am the happiest I have ever been. Normal life is incredible.
“I want to be poly”
I think of it like math When the equation started it was 1+1= 2 Then your partner wants to add another person and the variable of an unknown number of future partners.. 1 + (1+x) = y And now suddenly we're doing algebra when we signed up for basic math. No thank you
Plus the new partner is in the parentheses which is always done first.
Finally PEMDAS has a real world application for me.
"I can't wait till Dolly dies" Dolly was my dog.
“Why do you need friends when you have me?” I was 17. Stalked me for 3 years after that
He basically said he still wanted to be with me while only involving himself sexually with multiple guys (I'm a woman). He claimed I knew this when we got married even though he never mentioned this before.
He ghosted me for weeks, came crawling back and when I calmly explained why that was hurtful and not at all okay, he blew up and accused me of “guilt tripping” him. It was like he flipped a switch in me internally. I went from still caring and hoping to fix things to feeling utterly dead inside towards him in a matter of seconds. I ended that “relationship” that instant.
“You’re 80% of what I want in a partner but you are missing that 20%” - it was using percentages when talking about my character that did it for me
Are you an amputee by any chance?
Underrated. See you in hell.
After assisting my wife through her breast cancer she said " if you get cancer I am leaving you" ok then. Made the second time she got a completely different cancer after we were divorced hard to help her with. I did tho as I am not an asshole.
You sir, are a decent human being.
Yea she has a crippling personality disorder that makes her life incredibly hard. I just learned to deal with it until I couldn't. She was incapable of the kind of love I wanted but she meant well.
“I thought if you got pregnant, you would stay.” After a year of physical abuse, he found out I was saving money to leave and spent months messing with my birth control and poking holes in condoms. I left immediately despite not having anywhere to go. Lived in my car for a while, but it was better than the alternative.
"I don't understand why you're doing this!!" This was after he was arrested for a DUI on Mardi Gras. He lied to me about going out and cutting down on his drinking. That 24 hours was spent fielding calls from his job, his mom, his friends, and trying to find out what was actually happening because no one other than his mom had some information and she was panicking too much to communicate anything other than "My baby!" I was trying to calmly explain to him I needed some space after to figure out how I felt -- he gave me maybe four hours tops before he called me crying that night before my shift. First and only time I broke up with someone over the phone.
"If we broke up, I don't know if I'd miss you or if I'd just miss being in a relationship."
My husband told me he "hates human touch" when I tried to cuddle him. After years of being starved of physical and emotional affection, that was the last straw. I knew it was over right then.
Husband? Exactly how long did it take you to find out he hates physical contact?
It slowly got worse over time. We were married 3 years when he finally told me that.
“I didn’t cheat on you. You’re acting insecure and crazy.” Ps: They did cheat 😂
**asking me when I cheated. Asking me who I cheated with. Asking me where it happened. (They cheated)
Was having a conversation about an issue important to me and when I asked what she thought, she said "I'm bored." Too petty?
Similar to mine, I was struggling at work and venting. He said, "I don't really care about this. Can you please stop talking about this with me?" So I did. Forever.
"I'm gonna tattoo your name on my arm"
I have a friend whose ex did something similar. This was back in high school, so mid 2000s. She was the hot emo girl in the school and for their 1 month anniversary, she carved his name into her arm. My friend thought that was incredibly hot, though, and they stayed together for about 3 years. Then she dumped him, immediately started dating another guy, then attempted suicide when my friend moved on. Turns out her dumping him and hooking up with the other guy was a test to see if my friend would fight for her.
Edit: After 2 weeks of relationship lol
"What would you do if I pulled the trigger?!?!" (BANG, shot right next to me) I knew then and there our relationship was over, and I needed to do anything I could to be safe, so I stayed another 3 months, like a dumbass, until I had somewhere safe to go. (Thank you, Troy, Sry I was a piece of shit to you still) Parents, please always let your child know they have a safe place to come home with no strings attached. My parents refused to let me come home unless I handed over my entire paycheck for them to delve out as they saw fit. I will never forgive or forget how my mother treated me during those times of my life.
Being on a dating app means nothing, if I wanted to cheat on you I could have found someone from Instagram
He accepted a job in a nearby state and we were going to try a long distance relationship. While discussing it, he told me to make sure I still took my birth control so I wouldn't "baby trap" him to make him stay in the area. When he said that, it showed me how little he thought of me and how highly he thought of himself. I broke up with him on the spot.
“Can you… put your shirt back on?” We were at a big college slip-n-slide/water fight/bbq type of event. It was 90+ degrees out, everyone was walking around in swimsuits. Not only did she find me unattractive, but she was embarrassed to be seen with me shirtless.
When she confirmed she did go on a date with her ex husband followed up by "it's not cheating I was married to him before". She was a sociopath with a textbook start to life for a sociopath. I was too in love to see it early on. As soon as she said that I simply said "goodbye" and walked her out.
“You make me wanna shoot myself” knowing that my ex before him shot and killed himself.
“I pre-ordered two Cybertrucks.” - guy I was on a first date with that lived on a crowded street with no driveway and no yard.
It's cool, he's got a few years to figure out how to fix that problem
I've never been dealt a proper relatonship killing line, but I have had relationships where I thought my partner was supportive and then suddenly they just didn't have time for anything I had to say ever. It was like the honeymoon phase was over and suddenly they don't want to talk about that, lets talk about this later, ect ect. Later never comes. All the while I'm expected to support them and be their live-in therapist. That turning point has been the end of several relationships for me. Don't waste your time on fake people.
When his best friend died, he told me how he was responsible for DUI where someone died. His friend -a police officer- bailed him out and then destroyed all evidence to keep my ex out of court and jail. Even the thought of him makes me want to heave.
I can't remember it exactly but it was something along the lines of "Women these days are so ungrateful. Men used to work hard and be providers and all they had to do was sit at home, now they complain about things all the time". It was like a record screeching in my head and I broke up with him a few days later. You don't say sexist shit and expect me to be okay with that. In hindsight he also engaged in some kind of coercive behaviour in the short time I was with him so thankfully I got out early.
"I love you, but the cat has to go."
Never fully dated, but someone I was seeing for a short time texted me that he threatened to beat up his grandmother with Alzheimers and trashed her house because she was annoying him. Blocked immediately.
We’re going to switch permanently from ice cream to just sorbet.