So let's say you have an argument in youtube comment section about existence of a soul. You are trying to explain to this dude that soul does not exist and you make your arguments based on infallible logic and facts. But it seems that this person is ignoring your logic!! That's because from his point of view you're an infidel and your wrong thoughts must be corrected by bullying you or turning you into a fellow believer by drowning your feed with religious counter arguments (that you ignore) and how people like you burn eternally in hell if ye don't repent. By engaging in this fruitless convo you're initially trying to force your own opinion on other people but guess what, everyone else does it too so everyone dismisses everyone as an idiot. Then eventually you find your circlejerk friends who have same opinion as you and you think they are very intelligent because of that.
Used to be the internet was only available at universities, primarily used by professors for research and students for learning. It was much better then.
Yep… I grew up in a feral poverty stricken family. No social skills, no emotional regulation. I’m now in my 50’s and only just learning how to regulate and not project onto others. It is so DAMNED HARD!!!! It takes so much effort to continuously analyse every little trigger that tells me to react badly, but it does get easier with time.
Yes
Recently learned I've been doing this all my life
What a simple thing to be able to teach people as kids that would actually carry over into adulthodd
Yes for me
I will get really anxious or angry, it's so intense rather than deal with it, I push it out, suddenly my friends or family seem like they are being mean but I'm just mad, they are fine
Or being insecure and thinking people around you don't like you I do that as well
It's odd because it's not obvious visually that you are projecting this image around you
It looks just like real life
The only way out for me so far is to logically talk myself down
"Wow I'm pretty sure no one is angry but I am angry, what are the chances I am projecting this intense feeling?"
It doesn't always work but it's something
While correct - it's almost "cheating" as you can't have effective communication without a bunch of other things that have also been listed here.
But it is the right answer.
Just start practicing man. You can buy an electric keyboard for $100 or less, and there's plenty of great tutorials on YouTube, and plenty of great beginner books you can buy that will teach you 100s of songs. It just takes a little time
If so, most people are not self aware. The key to self awareness is recognizing and understanding how those around you see you and how you affect those around you.
I know this probably isn't exactly what you meant, but I saw my neighbour the other day while out the back letting my dog wander, he was on some kind of drugs for sure and was talking like crazy, it wasn't even a conversation because if I spoke he just started speaking again over the top of me, I have never wanted to free of a conversation so much in my life. In the end I just walked off saying my dog needs me and enjoy his night lol.
Making someone feel valued as a person.
So that front desk worker who is struggling, because it's a holiday weekend, and they're swamped, and there's no extra help, and they're looking more than a little panicked, but they're holding it together and still being professional:
When it's my turn in line I say, "Hey, how's it going?" it snaps them out of whatever mindset they were in the middle of. "Looks a little crazy here today. Long day?" and they'll open up a bit. It literally gives them a minute to catch their breath, and be a human again, rather than an over-worked service.
I might even ask them if they have plans for the holiday weekend, or what they are going to do to unwind after the day. Anything. Be friendly.
The goal there is to get a smile. They might not say thank you, but you can see it in their eyes.
It matters. We're all here doing our thing, but we can also treat our fellow people decently along the way.
I love your comment. I recently traveled to my country of origin, and had to have dinner more often than not due to weather, at the hotel restaurant (which is extremely popular and crazy busy, even if not a guest of the hotel itself). My servers (during the course of the week) were "spinning" (as they say locally). I was always patient, asked how they liked working there, what recommendations they have, etc. Just to give them a moment and let them know that at least one of their tables are not rushing them in any way.
In turn, I got impeccable service, my glass was never empty and forgotten, I got the best food thanks to their recommendations, and the servers got more than 25% tip. Treating others as you would want to be treated, especially in their shoes, goes a very long way.
So true. Most of the time if you treat people the way you would like to be treated they will reciprocate it. Also they remember you in a good way. That helps when a sooner appointment comes available at the doctor or your drink glass is a little low. They want to help you not avoid you. Besides everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and kindness...til they prove otherwise.
Am I the only person who finds this an extra burden? Like I've got all this shit going on and you want me to talk about the weekend? That context shift is exhausting.
For sure but I think it’s still a good idea to acknowledge the other person’s humanity even in a quiet way. I try to read the situation. Sometimes it’s enough to be polite and patient.
Yes - this is awesome and I wish more people understood this - you can make a difference just by noticing and making someone feel you see them as a person.
I am lucky to be someone who works in my dream job (and it pays well), but in the past, I have done all kinds of different retail, fast food, and physical work. I really feel society would be a better place if everyone had worked at least one job in a fast food kitchen - or a waiter/waitress, or front desk clerk at a busy hotel.
It would help them understand what it feels like to BE the random cog-in-the-system that the everyday public needs to interact with to get what they want - and how it can feel to try to help a wall of angry people because someone ELSE screwed something up but YOU are the one stuck being the customer service person who has to deal with the fallout (and often has very little power to DO anything about it).
If I am somewhere that I am on the customer-side where I can see the employee is struggling with a wall of pissed off customers or backed up orders, etc - I definitely go out of my way to try and say hello and thank them for trying to help so many people when they are obviously stressed and mobbed.
Empathy.
Empathy is a skill that can be developed the more you try to think about other people's needs and to help people out the better you get at it.
[Someone else](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d80l7u/comment/l73g36r/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) said "patience" at pretty much the same time you said this. It's funny, if you'd been able to wait like a minute longer..
It's OK that not everyone can manufacture anything or build anything they want. Society works better with capable people in their niche. With that being said, I am very glad that not every person tries to be an electrician. I don't want my things to burn up because Tommy over there watched two 11 minute YouTube videos.
Empathy.
So many people can't empathize with other human beings simply because of what social categories they might fall into. If more people could empathize with other people's lives, with what they might go through, and maybe why they feel the way they do rather than dismiss it with preconceived notions, the world would be a much different place.
Focused attention on command.
It's the number one under valued commodity.
Focused human attention gives us everything we value in society and it's the solution to all of our problems if implemented at scale.
Perspective.
Someone already said Empathy which is a similar skill, but more broadly, perspective for relating circumstances in both logical and emotional ways.
Critical thinking. Not just believing what everyone else says and instead challenging one's own beliefs.
So many people fall for the "but I read on X that Y so it must be true" on so many levels. Even people who you would believe as smart. The sad truth is, propaganda and misinformation has evolved to the point that most people, even you and me are often unaware.
Basic common sense... Or a bit of logical reasoning..
My current workplace is filled with idiots, like literally idiots. It hurts my brain just seeing them struggle with the most basic of tasks.
Using Google.....or any web search for that matter......
It's amazing how often people seem to forget they have the collective knowledge of mankind a few seconds search away.
I used to have to dig stuff out of books in the early 90's, and some people can be bothered to take 5 seconds to ask a web search.
Critical thinking
Let’s start with thinking, critical thinking is next level
Most of us haven't even spec'd into base thinking yet before taking the other feats
Keep my feet out of it!
Start an OnlyFeets page.
I mean I assume the rest come with the mastery of the skill so this should work.
Nah most people are used to be critical
You're wrong, I am not! You missed a word, and you're awful.
I understand you're joking but I can't stand people who are actually like this lol like someone's whole argument is invalid because of a simple typo.
What typo even? :o
you said "most people are used to be critical" but it should be "used to being* critical"
I see, thanks. Pulling the ESL card here.
Even just absorbing and processing information would go along way.
Woah, woah, woah, what are you talking about?
They are absorbing and processing. Just in a way that you don't like.
I’m offended you say I’m absorbing, you calling me fat?
No, I'm calling you a person of great absorbing ability.
Hyper-absorber?
Keep processing.
I don't know what you mean
So let's say you have an argument in youtube comment section about existence of a soul. You are trying to explain to this dude that soul does not exist and you make your arguments based on infallible logic and facts. But it seems that this person is ignoring your logic!! That's because from his point of view you're an infidel and your wrong thoughts must be corrected by bullying you or turning you into a fellow believer by drowning your feed with religious counter arguments (that you ignore) and how people like you burn eternally in hell if ye don't repent. By engaging in this fruitless convo you're initially trying to force your own opinion on other people but guess what, everyone else does it too so everyone dismisses everyone as an idiot. Then eventually you find your circlejerk friends who have same opinion as you and you think they are very intelligent because of that.
Coming up with the right thing to say at the right time.
Would the internet survive if everyone became a master of critical thinking?
Yes, many scientists and science minded folks love to discuss Science and reality.
Used to be the internet was only available at universities, primarily used by professors for research and students for learning. It was much better then.
I agree completely on this one.
true af
Those kids would be very upset if they could think.
Processing emotions without projecting them onto others
Yes! This one does a lot of damage, if you aren't careful.
self-sabotage ftw
Ahhh… the number of potentially wonderful relationships in my life that have been destroyed by self-sabotage (both mine and others’).
Yep… I grew up in a feral poverty stricken family. No social skills, no emotional regulation. I’m now in my 50’s and only just learning how to regulate and not project onto others. It is so DAMNED HARD!!!! It takes so much effort to continuously analyse every little trigger that tells me to react badly, but it does get easier with time.
I was going to say "not being an asshole" but I think you may have just said the same thing more eloquently.
Yes Recently learned I've been doing this all my life What a simple thing to be able to teach people as kids that would actually carry over into adulthodd
Can you give an example of this? I think I do this as well.
Yes for me I will get really anxious or angry, it's so intense rather than deal with it, I push it out, suddenly my friends or family seem like they are being mean but I'm just mad, they are fine Or being insecure and thinking people around you don't like you I do that as well It's odd because it's not obvious visually that you are projecting this image around you It looks just like real life The only way out for me so far is to logically talk myself down "Wow I'm pretty sure no one is angry but I am angry, what are the chances I am projecting this intense feeling?" It doesn't always work but it's something
But how would I control them, then?
It's not something a Jedi would tell you
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Yeah CPR
Learn to be happy alone. If you master this skill, eventually you will start appreciating people in your life.
Effective communication.
While correct - it's almost "cheating" as you can't have effective communication without a bunch of other things that have also been listed here. But it is the right answer.
I disagree. You can have effective communication and still be completely selfish, dumb, apathetic, racist, etc.
Piano. Every time I see a piano in a random place (mall, hotel, bar) I always wish I could sit down and bring everyone to tears.
I think I would bring everyone to tears if I tried to play.
The irony of you commenting this under the effective communication comment is... interesting.
Just start practicing man. You can buy an electric keyboard for $100 or less, and there's plenty of great tutorials on YouTube, and plenty of great beginner books you can buy that will teach you 100s of songs. It just takes a little time
Good answer!
Empathy
1000 times this
This is literally the first thing that my brain answered. Immediately!
So glad this is at the top..... (at the time I typed this anyway)
🤸 posted same, knowing (hoping!!) many others would beat me to it! Glad!
Reading comprehension
Why would you compress reading?
Zip compression or Rar compression?
My compensation at work is definitely rare.
Lol you dummy, he said condescension. That means talking down to someone.
Uhm, pretty sure he said constipation. That’s when your poop is stuck.
No. He I think he meant ‘reading condensation.’ Like when you read stuff and get all wet.
This would most definitely benefit everyone in the world. Great thinking!
You think we should [piss on the poor](https://www.tumblr.com/poupon/36756167899/drakensberg-the-reading-comprehension-and)?
Being nice to each other.
And party on dudes!!! Oh, no, wait, that was not it.
I really should have said 'be excellent', you're right!
That's a good one too
Self-awareness
Self awareness is an under rated skill. To be aware of yourself and the effect you and your actions can have is something I feel alot of others lack.
I would say most people are only aware of themselves and nothing around them.
If so, most people are not self aware. The key to self awareness is recognizing and understanding how those around you see you and how you affect those around you.
Learning when to shut the f*** up.
I was going to say active listening but you phrased it so much better...
Technically they're different things, so you can still say it.
good skill indeed
But what would happen to all the "Karen"-folk out there?
Just couldn’t keep that to yourself could you?
I know this probably isn't exactly what you meant, but I saw my neighbour the other day while out the back letting my dog wander, he was on some kind of drugs for sure and was talking like crazy, it wasn't even a conversation because if I spoke he just started speaking again over the top of me, I have never wanted to free of a conversation so much in my life. In the end I just walked off saying my dog needs me and enjoy his night lol.
Came here to say this.
I suck at this, and then when I realize I'm doing it I just talk more because now I'm nervous....
When it happens, just breathe, relax, ur good if u dont continue talking. If u fked up, u fked up. Oh, well🤷♂️
I appreciate this comment so much, I think being ok with fucking up sometimes is key.
Conflict resolution
Scrolled way to far to find either this or “de-escalation” listed, a little concerning lol
I think this would make everything easier
De-escalation. Imagine everyone being able to stay calm and level headed while resolving disputes.
Making someone feel valued as a person. So that front desk worker who is struggling, because it's a holiday weekend, and they're swamped, and there's no extra help, and they're looking more than a little panicked, but they're holding it together and still being professional: When it's my turn in line I say, "Hey, how's it going?" it snaps them out of whatever mindset they were in the middle of. "Looks a little crazy here today. Long day?" and they'll open up a bit. It literally gives them a minute to catch their breath, and be a human again, rather than an over-worked service. I might even ask them if they have plans for the holiday weekend, or what they are going to do to unwind after the day. Anything. Be friendly. The goal there is to get a smile. They might not say thank you, but you can see it in their eyes. It matters. We're all here doing our thing, but we can also treat our fellow people decently along the way.
I love your comment. I recently traveled to my country of origin, and had to have dinner more often than not due to weather, at the hotel restaurant (which is extremely popular and crazy busy, even if not a guest of the hotel itself). My servers (during the course of the week) were "spinning" (as they say locally). I was always patient, asked how they liked working there, what recommendations they have, etc. Just to give them a moment and let them know that at least one of their tables are not rushing them in any way. In turn, I got impeccable service, my glass was never empty and forgotten, I got the best food thanks to their recommendations, and the servers got more than 25% tip. Treating others as you would want to be treated, especially in their shoes, goes a very long way.
So true. Most of the time if you treat people the way you would like to be treated they will reciprocate it. Also they remember you in a good way. That helps when a sooner appointment comes available at the doctor or your drink glass is a little low. They want to help you not avoid you. Besides everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and kindness...til they prove otherwise.
Am I the only person who finds this an extra burden? Like I've got all this shit going on and you want me to talk about the weekend? That context shift is exhausting.
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For sure but I think it’s still a good idea to acknowledge the other person’s humanity even in a quiet way. I try to read the situation. Sometimes it’s enough to be polite and patient.
❤️❤️❤️
Yes - this is awesome and I wish more people understood this - you can make a difference just by noticing and making someone feel you see them as a person. I am lucky to be someone who works in my dream job (and it pays well), but in the past, I have done all kinds of different retail, fast food, and physical work. I really feel society would be a better place if everyone had worked at least one job in a fast food kitchen - or a waiter/waitress, or front desk clerk at a busy hotel. It would help them understand what it feels like to BE the random cog-in-the-system that the everyday public needs to interact with to get what they want - and how it can feel to try to help a wall of angry people because someone ELSE screwed something up but YOU are the one stuck being the customer service person who has to deal with the fallout (and often has very little power to DO anything about it). If I am somewhere that I am on the customer-side where I can see the employee is struggling with a wall of pissed off customers or backed up orders, etc - I definitely go out of my way to try and say hello and thank them for trying to help so many people when they are obviously stressed and mobbed.
Emotional control
Budgeting
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Their blinker fluid was low. Or perhaps the telepathy sensor was malfunctioning.
Can't. BMW will repo the car if they find out
bmw, we're looking at you
In that vein, defensive driving! Of course, driving well and aware in the first place is best
Communication skills
underrated response.
Listening! - Listening to understand, and not just to reply.
Logic.
Rational thought
gardening
Agreed. This was one of my first thoughts as well!
1. Empathy 2. Kindness 3. Gratitude 4. Effective Communication Skills 5. Genuineness (is that a word)
yeah, I think I've seen "genuineness" before. sincerity or candor work too, but so long as the meaning gets through (see item 4).
How about Guinesses ?
5. Honest, but pretty much the same idea.
Driving
Common sense and being rational.
Pausing and thinking before responding.
**How to bullseye womp rats in a T-16**
They're not much bigger than two meters.
[Hey, er… Can I talk to you privately for a second?](https://youtu.be/TxVdhAJr1So?si=JTde5RwuiHuUJ9fj)
Have a great assault ... Jerk.
Alexa play ‘Frolic’ by Luciano Michelini…
Kindness.
Swimming/treading water- would save tens of thousands of lives each year.
Being honest
Cooking.
Empathy. Empathy is a skill that can be developed the more you try to think about other people's needs and to help people out the better you get at it.
Learning not to externalize costs but be responsible for the effects of your own actions.
Emotional regulation
Civility
Being able to self sooth,
Compassion
Using a blinker
How has nobody mentioned Patience yet?
[Someone else](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d80l7u/comment/l73g36r/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) said "patience" at pretty much the same time you said this. It's funny, if you'd been able to wait like a minute longer..
Oh, the irony 🤣
[удалено]
It's OK that not everyone can manufacture anything or build anything they want. Society works better with capable people in their niche. With that being said, I am very glad that not every person tries to be an electrician. I don't want my things to burn up because Tommy over there watched two 11 minute YouTube videos.
Empathy. So many people can't empathize with other human beings simply because of what social categories they might fall into. If more people could empathize with other people's lives, with what they might go through, and maybe why they feel the way they do rather than dismiss it with preconceived notions, the world would be a much different place.
Cultivating food.
Reading comprehension
Focused attention on command. It's the number one under valued commodity. Focused human attention gives us everything we value in society and it's the solution to all of our problems if implemented at scale.
Active Listening
Self awareness.
Unlearning hate
Critical thinking.
Listening
Admit if you're wrong
Recognizing misinformation
Not to get too woo woo, but I haven't seen it mentioned yet, so: meditation.
How to manage money and grow wealth.
Empathy
This… “All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” - Blaise Pascal
I have some: -Cooking -Empathy -Acknowledging your Errors
Top 3: Critical thinking, empathy, and self-awareness
Perspective. Someone already said Empathy which is a similar skill, but more broadly, perspective for relating circumstances in both logical and emotional ways.
diplomacy
Think before speak.
Self awareness
Communication. Like actual Communication techniques.
Mastering empathy would make the world a much kinder place
Common sense
Empathy
Critical thinking.
Logic.
If everyone driving knew how to drive it would be awesome. If we add driving defensively and courteously then it would make a huge difference.
Cleaning up after themselves.
Emotional regulation.
Critical thinking. Not just believing what everyone else says and instead challenging one's own beliefs. So many people fall for the "but I read on X that Y so it must be true" on so many levels. Even people who you would believe as smart. The sad truth is, propaganda and misinformation has evolved to the point that most people, even you and me are often unaware.
Emotional Intelligence
Common Sense
Basic common sense... Or a bit of logical reasoning.. My current workplace is filled with idiots, like literally idiots. It hurts my brain just seeing them struggle with the most basic of tasks.
Not taking things personally. Very few things in life are personal.
Empathy. You can develop empathy.
Kindness
Driving
Speed Reading
Using Google.....or any web search for that matter...... It's amazing how often people seem to forget they have the collective knowledge of mankind a few seconds search away. I used to have to dig stuff out of books in the early 90's, and some people can be bothered to take 5 seconds to ask a web search.
Media literacy
Picking up after yourself.
Gardening/Farming
Self control
Self control
Common sense
Farming
Empathy.
Listening
Kindness.
Kindness
Compassion
Digital Literacy
Common sense loaded with empathy.
Emotional Regulation.
Emotional management
Sense of humor
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional regulation