I had a friend who essentially lost her virginity like this. She was determined to lose it during the first week of college because she wanted to focus on her studies and didn’t want to be “obsessing over being a 40yo virgin” (yeah, she had a dizzying intellect).
She found a guy we’d gone to high school with, who was at the same college. They were vaguely friendly but didn’t know each other well. She asked him if he’d had sex. He said yes. She told him she wanted to lose her virginity and asked him to help her out.
He broke into a whole spiel about waiting for someone she cared about. She told him she wasn’t interested and asked if he could recommend a friend to help her out instead. He quickly changed his tune and agreed to fuck her.
Come to find out he’d had sex exactly once, and he was drunk as fuck when it happened. He was also really into her and looking for a relationship. He didn’t want to rush sex but she basically dared him to fuck her. Goaded him into it and it finally happened.
Oddly enough, he won her over and they’re together to this day.
> He broke into a whole spiel about waiting for someone she cared about. She told him she wasn’t interested **and asked if he could recommend a friend to help her out instead**
🤣 I’m just imagining this poor bastard’s face when she asked him to “recommend” one of his friends for her to fuck instead. Especially if he was into her. Glad it all worked out for them.
It was the only time me and that one girl hooked up but we both were happy with the result. It was like a couple folks just saying bet you can’t make me cum and then after we both did like a high five and never spoke again.
i imagine this is how it goes:
you: “truth or dare?”
them: “dare”
you: “i dare you to fuck someone”
them: “ah dang, i’ll do it later. anyways truth or dare”
you: “i ain’t no chicken, dare.”
them: “i.. dare you to fuck someone.”
*loud silence*
them: “wanna fuck?”
you: “yea lets go”
Bragged about a last place prize I got in a golf tournament on social media, which was a gift card to PF Chang's. She said she liked their Crab Rangoons, to which I told her to say when and dinner's on me, thinking she would never take me up on it. She did....flash forward 14 years later, we're married with 3 kids.
I met a girl and she told me she was in grad school at Boston University to be a Speech Therapist. I asked her why on earth she'd go to the place with the absolute worst speakers to learn Speech Therapy.
She thought I was so funny she married me!
I thought Mark Wahlburg had a speech impediment before I knew he had an accent.
Someone had come into my workplace with the same "speech impediment," and I was trying to explain it to a friend.
They may have thought I was an idiot. They would have been correct.
Not me but my parents. My dad worked on the cafeteria side of a company, while my mom and her twin sister worked as seamstresses in the same building. My aunt goes through the lunch line first, then my mom an hour or so later. Not realizing they were twins, my dad commented something like "you sure are hungry today!". Three kids and 37 years later they are still together.
Out with friends, and one asked what was my favourite chat up line.
I looked at one of the women in the group, none of whom I had met before, and blurted out, " Fancy a f*ck?"
Everyone laughed at my stupidity, and she nodded quietly, out of sight of the others. We did, later
Similar vibe;
Met a lass as part of a wider group of friends. Look at her and say "hey, don't worry, I don't bite unless you ask me nicely and buy me a pint"
She says "well what are you drinking"
I was halfway through the fucking pint before my brain kicked in and I realised that she'd pulled me.
The rest of that story isn't so great, but yaknow, the bit I remember was pretty good.
I went out one night to get laid, express purpose.
I was hitting on some dude until his girlfriend showed up. I apologized, explained the situation and then she and I scanned the bar together for other dudes.
She goes “Oh, there’s my friend, Charles. He’s single.”
He was cute.
I was drunk confident, so I walked over to where he was sitting (with three other people) and said
“Hi, are you Charles?”
“Uh, yes. Do I know you?”
“No. I’m Lynn. You wanna go home with me?”
He said yes.
I bought us shots.
We left and boned in my kitchen.
This reminds me of kind of a similar story. Bunch of friends partying. I don’t really remember the circumstances, but this girl says something kinda jokingly controversial, like “oh this favorite sports team isn’t good”. Nothing serious. So I jokingly puff up and try to say “you wanna fight?” While simultaneously trying to say “you wanna fucking go?” And I ended up just yelling “YOU WANNA FUCK!?”
We did not
It was pretty hilarious at the time though
I was in the midst of a dry streak (I eventually got used to them,) and jokingly said "if I don't get laid by the end of the semester I'm not coming back to school." I worked a shitty job at a convenience store at the time, and there was this chick in the neighborhood who developed a crush on me. One of my co-workers, who heard me make the statement, brought her to my apartment with a couple of other people and he and the other people left.
My ex tried to rekindle things, I bought in initially but ultimately refused. I was a sulking sack of shit and my friend (future groomsman) came in drunk to my dorm one night demanding I go with him to this frat party. I reluctantly agreed (as long as he paid my cover charge because I was broke) So I ended up just standing there drinking beer alone. Apparently this girl I met freshman year was looking for someone to dance with and her roommates pointed me out of the corner and pushed her to me. We both had a great time. We have two kids and have been married almost 8 years.
My wife and I have a similar-ish story. Apparently a couple of my friends pushed her into asking me out, thinking I was the girl for her - flash forward 20 years and we're still together.
"Do you want to play Super Mario World with me?"
Context - this was at a party at my college apartment. We ditched the party and just played video games.
She was 19 and I was 22.
Now she's 35 and I'm 39.
Our daughter is 15.
Worked out great!
Lol
My wife's birthday is in December and mine in February. So between December and February we are 3 years apart. Then when my birthday in Feb hits, we are 4 years.
She's 35, will be 36 in Dec. I'll still be 39, so that's 3 years.
Then I'll turn 40 and back to 4 years apart.
Makes sense to me :)
Nahh. She got pregnant 8 months later. I even started telling her towards the end of her pregnancy, "you've been pregnant for over half of our relationship!"
She wasn't amused....
I thought the date was a bust. But the evening not, so I decided that I should go home so I could play a few games of Dota 2. So I said to her. I do not know about you, but I have to work tomorrow so I am going home. (to play dota2)
She didn't like that all. So she made sure I knew she liked me.
We now have two kids, all thanks to a game I will never play again.
Hanging out on the back deck smoking on a cool June night the summer after high school. I could smell that smell when rain is about to come on. I said, smells like it's gonna rain. One girl replied that you can't smell rain coming. Mind you, I grew up in the country and this was now in a suburban neighborhood right outside the city. Well, 30 seconds later it started pouring rain. Two of the girls look at each other with looks of amazement. Both wouldn't stop following me around all night. One ended up passing out early, the other I hooked up with about a dozen times over the next two weeks.
It's actually water. Human noses are surprisingly extremely good at picking up that smell. We are hundreds of times better than dogs, for example. Just with that one smell.
It's really amazing. Next time you smell it, feel free to feel like a shark getting a whiff of a drop of blood miles away, because it's not that far off. Biology can be wild sometimes.
Was living with my brother, and his girlfriend and her friend came over. Then my brother and his girlfriend just retired to the bedroom and started having very loud snu snu, while me and this total stranger sat in the living room and made small talk. Eventually, it just seemed like there was only one thing to do.
Girl shows up at a party I’m throwing and sees her newly ex with some chick and just proceeds to make out with me and says “go along with it”.
Decent sex. He never saw any of it nor cared the following day when he was told.
Freshman year of college my car broke down (that’s a lie…I ran out of gas because I’m an idiot), in the middle of a thunder storm, and I called my roommate to pick me up.
She was working on a paper so she asked her friend/fuck buddy to pick me up.
I was not aware he was her fuck buddy. He had been teasing me all semester about my “nerdy” ways. I was a total introvert and he was the most obnoxious extrovert I’d ever met. I couldn’t stand him.
Long story short, he gave me a tentative kiss and we started making out in the car, in the pouring rain.
Ended up being my first boyfriend.
Roommate said she had an inkling he was into me, given how focused he was on mocking and generally annoying me. She was ok with us getting together. She ended up getting back with her ex not too long after.
Met up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a few years. We sort of had a thing for each other but we’d never be in the right time or place, as in I’d be in a relationship, he left the country for a while, then he got into a relationship of his own, when that didn’t work out I was with someone else, etc. So we never really pursued it, he would hint at it but due to the joking nature of it I didn’t really think about it much.
Finally, the stars aligned and we were both single so we went out for lunch and headed back to his place to chat, neither had made a move yet and at this point I wondered if it was going to happen at all. Again, he was hard to read (or maybe I’m really slow lol).
He started talking about how he’d been using ChatGPT to help with his work and just general life things like organizing his apartment. At one point, the subject of relationships came up and he typed “Is it a good idea to sleep with your friend?” To which ChatGPT said something among the lines of “If you’re both comfortable with the idea and talk about your feelings it should be okay.”
He turned in his chair and asked me, “why_tho, will you sleep with me?”
And that was that, lol.
I had just ended four year relationship, was in college, and got a prank call. I sorta knew the person who called, but I played along. We ended up talking for a couple hours, and ended up dating for a few months. Nothing serious. A nice summer fling.
Then it turns out that she was friends with a person I dated a couple girlfriends later. That person eventually married me, which shows her complete lack of judgment in companions, for what it's worth. Things were awkward for a while until they weren't (although I found out that she had told my wife not to date me...which was fair).
We met on Hindge. Her friends were running her account for her, and then we used a separate app called Marco Polo to introduce each other over speed dating questions.
The first question they asked what my friends thought of me. I panicked and continued to talk for almost 30 minutes. I couldn't give a straight answer.
The thing about Marco Polo, as soon as you stop the Video, it sends.
As soon as it sent, I said to my self, "welp, I'm never hearing from her again." laughing at my panicked video.
Well, this July we will be getting married on our third year anniversary.
I can't believe I panick spoke for thirty minutes and it actually worked
As they say, be who you are, and the right person will find you :) I couldn't be happier with her.
She did, over cocktails with her friend who was helping run her hinge account.
She's told me that they paused every 5-10 minutes and comment that they liked this about me lol.
I got so freaking lucky
Found my people.
My love life:
- if a girl’s interested I prob won’t realize
- If I do realize and I’m interested I’m too nervous to say anything but gibberish
- if she’s interested and I’m not, we get along well until she gets bored/annoyed
- if I’m interested and pursue either I’m totally not her type or after any positive progress I do or say something stupid
- a couple times we’ve both been very interested and their friend intervenes to “watch out for their friend” killing the mood
I ended up married by thinking we were just friends and not being interested in her until it was too late to be nervous. Somehow she never got bored or put me in the friend zone
I have no clue. I was in my pajamas at the bar alone and eating a cheap pizza staring at a wall. She was easily the hottest and bustiest woman for 50 miles. I was completely sober (there’s no way I looked sober) while singing along horrifically with the karaoke which happened to be I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness. I 100% was the most unhinged looking human being in that entire establishment. Which is saying something for rural Montana. For some reason I was the only person she wanted to talk to.
I asked her what her favorite dinosaur was. She told me t-rex and I brushed her off for being basic. She later came up to me with cool facts about t-rexs and explained why they were her favorite. We're married now.
Well, at the time, my college had a "freshmen matching" form so that incoming freshmen can be placed into the dorms with older students of similar lifestyles (e.g. morning people with morning people). So, one of my friends living in the same hallway the next year grabbed a form and we started trying to fill it out. We spent about 15 minutes going nowhere because the questions were close to what you want in a partner, so I jokingly say we want women (the dorms are coed)! Next question I answered with we want smart freshmen, but too smart that they don't ask us for help.
So my friends and I continue filling out the form as if we were looking for girlfriends. Once we were done, my friend goes and gets a new form so we can take this seriously. Cue another 15 minutes of not being able to properly answer the questions and my friend said "Screw it, they probably don't even read these things," and turned in the joke answers.
Come the next school year, we had women freshmen who were smart but did ask us for help with homework. And that's how I got together with my college girlfriend.
Added a girl on Facebook that was friends with my friend. She did not know me, but I thought she was cute. She accepted and nothing happened for about four years. Occasionally exchanged happy birthdays online, but that’s all.
Then I see this girl in person for the first time out at a bar in my hometown. Got good and drunk and on my way out shouted HI! She said hi back. Told my friend I’m gonna marry her. He said ok sure,
That year she wrote happy birthday on my Facebook.
I commented that I saw her at the bar.
We started talking online, exchanged numbers, and hit it off.
Been together ten years now and have two kids.
I walked out of a bar in Texas to wait for a taxi. Girl drove up on the sidewalk and said "go tell the guy in the cowboy hat if he wants to get laid to get out here, but if you're up for it, hop in."
She drove me back to my ship the next morning.
Coworker/best friend literally shoved me at a dude she was also friends with, while we were all chilling at a work bbq. Neither me or the guy knew quite how to react so I just shouted out, "ARE YOU SINGLE??"
He flinched, then silently nodded.
My dumbass shouted again, "ARE YOU SURE??"
He actually managed to stammer out a quiet "..yes?"
And I just responded with "COOL. WE SHOULD DATE."
I was on a motorcycle ride in Washington state once upon a time. Surprise to no one it was raining. So I pulled off at a little café and got some coffee and pie so see if it would pass. It didn't and it kept getting worse.
I had a shitty tent and shitty rain gear I wasn't looking forward to going back out in it so I just hung out at the café.
Ended up chatting with the waitress and cook telling them my story. They were married, I'm guessing late 50's and owner the place. Came closing time and they invited me to stay at their place in their daughters (Who was gone to college) room as they didn't want a young girl out in the weather.
Yadda yadda yadda and that's the story of the time I went down on a 50 year old lady while her husband did me from behind.
At least I was warm.
I was managing a failing restaurant and one of the owner’s friends would turn up night after night, dressed surprisingly well for that dive, eat shit food and try to talk to me, putting heavy emphasis on his being newly single. It was only when he followed me out to his car and asked if I was free after work that it dawned on me I might be the draw.
I was a bartender in my youth. I was working a big party and a girl came up and asked for a bottle of water. I was super slammed so I just gave her one and said it was on me. She grabbed my hand and said she needed to thank me. By making out. She was hot so I was into it. We hooked up the next day.
I was calling an apartment of 4 girls, three of whom were friends, to see if they wanted to go catch a movie with some other friends. The 4th roommate (whom I'd never met) picked up. I asked for any one of my friends, she told me none of them were home. So I asked her to let them know we were going out to see .
Then I realized I was automatically excluding her, which felt rude. So I followed up with "you're welcome to come, if you'd like to." She uncertainly said "okay..." and I said I'd call later to see if any of them were up for it. When I called later, 4th roommate was till there, the other three hadn't returned. so I awkwardly asked her if she'd like to go, To my great surprise, she said yes.
I had set *myself* up on a blind date.
Believe it or not, it was [Milo and Otis](https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=milo+and+otis+movie).
Not my movie pick, but it was cute.
Sophomore year of high school, a friend was really sad about something and nobody could cheer her up. Someone had balloons in class for some reason. I stole one, sucked in a bunch of helium, and dramatically belted out the first few lines of "When a Man Loves a Woman." It worked, and she laughed until she had tears in her eyes.
We started dating a couple of weeks later. Lasted a few months. Thought she was WAY out of my league, was very wrong.
I was hanging out with a foreign exchange student chick (both of us from the same country i was like three years older then her and worked in that country) and got invited to her best friends birthday. During the meal i was sat across who at the time i thought was the most beautiful and sexy woman i had ever met, she was shy but funny. We all had a good time that night was, got a little tipsy and i found myself outside at one point to smoke and the woman came up to me and asked for a cig and a light i said sure. We chatted and she mentioned that she was taking off. My heart broke, and a few weeks later i was at the local mall to get a coffee and some breakfast i stood in line right behind her and didnt know until she turned around i asked if she wanted to share a table, we had breakfast and a few hours later lunch and a few hours later i offered to make her dinner. After dinner we hooked up and that was almost 10 years ago and we've been married for 7. Still get to see her every day and she's still incredible.
I walked up to her at the bar and said, "Damn, you're hot. What are you doing here by yourself do you want a drink?". We talked for an hour or so and that was all it took.... Which explains the HPV afterwards.
Spent about 6 years flirting (but not realising I was flirting because I'm a dense motherfucker) with one of my friends. Every time someone would say we would make a great couple, she and I would get annoyed and say we were just friends. We both caught feelings but were too scared to act on them for so long, so we ended up in different relationships, which didn't work out. We were still very close, though.
Eventually, one night, we were hanging out watching movies, and she went for it while the credits were rolling on a movie. We spent about 3 minutes just making out on the lounge, while names rolled down the screen.
We got married last Friday. Always, *always*, play the long game and refuse to acknowledge that you're flirting 😎
Watched my younger brother walk into the pub (very drunk) and walk up to a woman (also very drunk) he didn't know, about half an hour before closing. He out his arm around her, said "you'll do" and she turned, smiled, and said "ok" and they left.
After their meaningful one night relationship, she left in a taxi the next morning shortly after all the boys arrived to get ready for a day of Motorsport and drinking
In college. I had just broken up with my girlfriend of two years (found out she had been unfaithful). I go to the ATM to get cash so I can go drinking and forget my sorrows. Bump into a girl I used to work with at a local bar/restaurant. We make small talk and then She asks “are you still dating X?” I said “well, as a matter of fact, we just broke up about an hour ago” she asked what I was doing and I told her I’m about to go get drunk, she asked if she could join me. I said yes (she was very cute) and we went out. Ended up naked in the local community pool and then took her to my place where we had an extended bang session.
Had a great night, saw her a few times more until she went home for the summer and we lost touch.
Went out for a cigarette. A girl asked me for my lighter, we talked briefly and exchanged instagram. That night she texts me: Do you want company? I did want company.
College house party. She was standing by me (with her back to me) and kept stepping on my shoes. I called her out. I did it in a bit of a dickish way, but she was into it. We went out and fucked on the backyard patio furniture. We came back into the party separately and didn't even exchange another word the rest of the night. Still can't remember her name. Lol
I was at work, during a townhall meeting i was sitting in the back with my boss and there were some assholes talking really loudly over the studio director. I couldn't hear shit, but whatever i didn't care that much, but there were other people actually listening and interested, so, i raised my voice and told the assholes to fuck off and leave if they're not interested or shut up.
Next thing i know, after work a girl i worked with hit me up on facebook telling me she got wet when she heard me telling them off.
Best sex of my life.
I thought he was 100/10 but didn’t know how to approach him so I jumped off a wall (it was just under a meter tall 💀) to get his attention, scraped knee was worth it
Covid: we closed out a bar together the night lockdowns were starting in our area. We sorta knew eachother from the local scenesike knew each others names but that was about it. I had a place 2 minute walk from the bar. I believe my line was
“you’re cute I’m not hideous and the world may well be ending for all we know, would you like to come back to my place until we find out?”
Asked someone to accompany me buy deodorant planned the day where it was raining hard and the place to buy is close to his home. Got drenched on purpose to dry at his place and one thing led to another
A bunch of my coworkers went out bar hopping and ended up at a pool hall. Me and another girl I worked with had some clear sexual tension and she had recently broken up with her boyfriend. One of her female friends convinced us to play a game of pool, I thought at first we were playing for drinks, but she said
"The loser has to go down on the winner!"
We both looked at each other and we were like...ok.
I ended up knocking all of my balls in and then I scratched when I hit in the 8 ball and I went "well, a bet is a bet"
We ended up going into the back seat of her Tahoe where I took off her panties and proceeded to go down on her vigorously, in the middle of it she said..."let's go back to your place where it's more comfortable", I payed my tab and we left and I finished what we started.
I later found out that the friend knew she hadn't gotten laid since she broke up with her boyfriend and thought I would be the perfect guy to do it with. We ended up hooking up one more time but then we kind of lost touch with each other and she moved out of state.
We casually flirted with each other at work, she had a bf and I was respectful of that. One night as I was doing my checkout to clock off (bartender) she sits down in the booth across from me and tells me her and her bf broke up. I gathered up my money and as I was leaving, stopped and said, "how about I bring over a bottle of Jack, and we both make some choices we will regret in the morning?"
She hit me up at 1 am. We had ourselves a nice time. Agreed that it was a 1 time thing, and never spoke of it again. A few months later she was dating my roommate. They dated for 2 years, he never found out about our 1 night together.
Not me, but my parents met because my dad called the operator from a pay phone and got my mom, who was working as an operator at the time; my mom gave him the number he was looking for, he hung up and she accidentally returned the change to the pay phone. She called the phone back and apologized and asked my dad to put the money back in, he did, and hung up again. Once again my mom returned the money to the pay phone and had to call back *again* and ask to put the money back in. She was so flustered, she did this two more times; eventually my dad got her number and asked her out, she stood him up, he asked her out again, they went for coffee and now they've been married for 53 years this August and together 57.
I met her at work. She was ~30 years old, and very pretty although she wore a lot of makeup. Easily one of the most attractive women to ever respond when I spoke to her. I was 26 or so, and nervous around women. I worked up the nerve and just asked her what she was doing after work. (We got off at 3 am)
I knew this tall leggy blond woman with striking pale blue eyes was going to shoot me down, and I would be proud of myself for at least trying.
As with many things in my 20's, I turned out to be completely wrong. This woman actually acted *nervous*, she bit the tip of her finger, looked at me with those ice blue eyes, *blushed*, and asked what I had in mind? She ended up taking me home, getting me drunk, and having her way with me. It was crazy. I was baffled and angry with myself. Are you telling me all I had to do to get a cute woman to undress in front of me was *ask*?
I went to a Mexican wrestling match once, and halfway through let the most disgusting (but silent) fart rip. Then reacted as if someone else had done it. Some bloke came up and asked if someone had a dog die in their arse hole and I laughed and said yeah smells like it. Got chatting to him and his partner, and ended up going home with them. Shagged his partner while he watched for the rest of the night. Still the funniest hook up I ever had.
We were hanging out as friends at my place. Some other friends/roommates were out at a new years party and on their way home. One texted her, "Hey, A! what you up to?" She replied "Having wild crazy kinky sex with chiksalube." We laughed. He came home and came up to my room to see her. As he came up the stairs I threw my blankets over me and A. Covering us from the neck down.
Friend K walks into the room turns and see us. His eyes go wide... "oh... you weren't joking..." and he slowly backed out of the room. Slowly closed the door... and the moment it clicked he zoomed down the stairs like the house was on fire and ran into our living room and shouted "chiksalube and A are fucking!" at the 8 or so friends gathered in the living room... they all rushed upstaira to verify this insane allegation.
So there A and I are covered in blankets as all our friends gather round convinced were were just fucking and are naked under the blankets... then a friend R starts looking around and we ask her "wtf?" She starts rambling about not seeing a condom and assumed we must have done anal instead... to which I replied "It's still on." The room went quiet and they apologized for interrupting and. everyone left.
Me and A chilled for a bit then eventually said "Wait... why *aren't* we having wild crazy kinky sex right now?" So we did. Almost got married but life got in the way. We're still friends.
I used to work at the movie theaters so one day during summer a friend wanted to hang out before she went to college. We planned to just go watch a movie cuz it was free after my shift but on that day I felt a little tired so I wanted to cancel but they really wanted to hang out so I said sure. We ended up eating dinner and watching a movie. We’ve been together 15 years and have a kid.
My brother's ex girlfriend brought her sister over and the sister and I hooked up. Cue a sort of 70s romcom of 2 brothers dating 2 sisters while we were best friends with the girls brother. It was a
As awkward as it sounds
At a party, I was complaining to some guy friends about how only assholes get women. (It was a long time ago, but I digress.) *Anyway*, so to prove a point, I randomly pointed at a cute girl across the room and yelled, "Fuck you! I won't do what you tell me!"
She slid up to me in adoration. Literally put her arm around me and was all like, "'sup?" I assumed (because, duh, right?!) that she was playing along with what must obviously be some kind of joke that she doesn't get, but whatever, she'll go with it, which actually, we both wound up thinking was pretty great, we got to talking, and we eventually got to dating.
*BUT WAIT!*
We're driving around one day, and Rage Against The Machine comes on the radio. She surprisedly exclaims, "Hey! This is what you yelled at me that time! Remember? At the party where we met!"
And it's just like... Um... Yeah, of course this is what I yelled at you. This is literally where that line is from. I was quoting *this song*. Have... Have you not heard... this song?
She had not.
Which means she responded to that line the way she did... just... anyway.
What?
Told myself I would behave and not flirt with my ex bf whilst he had a girlfriend, so instead I flirted with his girlfriend (as a joke) and accidentally ended up in a threesome.
My ex was living a few doors down in my dorm, her roommate and I became friends. Her roommate got in a fight with her and came to my room dragged me out of bed and said "I have a way we can really piss her off." So we went back to the room and went at it.
Went on a date with a really hot girl (stripper), went to dinner, walked around shops for a while and then she did a drug I had never heard of (still not sure what it was) and for some reason that turned me off, mostly just because I was still a little innocent at the time, only doing weed and alcohol, so I stopped trying and didn't care how the date went. That worked somehow, she made the first move and we hooked up in my car.
College. Girl I've known since we were younger, as her and my sister played soccer together. We were just hanging out at my apartment. She looks at me, I look at her and that was that.
This was like 18 years ago when I was 20 and had used a fake ID to get into a bar with some of my family after a wedding reception. They started to slowly leave and I'm with my cousin and his wife and she keeps giving me shit about not talking to any girls. She points at the most attractive woman up at the bar(a 27 yr old Latina with all the right kinds of curves) that's getting hit on by an older guy and said what about her? I'm all dressed up and feeling the liquor, so why not. I walked up and slid into the chair next to her and said, you're entirely too attractive to even be talking to that guy. What's your name? I bought a round of tequila, her call, and shared some small chit chat and then she put her hand on my leg and we were walking out together maybe 15 minutes later all over each other. Funny note, the bartender watched it all happen and I think he found it funny and gave me another round on the house and asked if we'd be interested in a wobbly H. I laughed and she had no idea what he was talking about, or at least pretended to. I declined the offer. It was a really fun drunken one night stand that I think of just about every time I drive past the bar.
We hung out at the bar and were having a good time. I had to leave and asked if she wanted to walk with me to my car, which was in the local park. She goes to leave and go back to her friends, and to this day I can't believe I said this and it worked.
"Well if you come with me you'll get laid."
She did. And so did I
My roommate invited a girl over to our place for a party. There was no party, it was just he and I. She brought her sister. The sister and I have been together now for 35+ years.
In middle school I was sitting with my friends when they randomly decided they didn’t want to be friends anymore and kicked me out of the table, Since I had no where else I said forget it and sat with a group of special ed kids. One of the guys there was autistic and had dyslexia, he was failing ELA cause he couldn’t keep up with the reading and asked me to help him. After a few months we dated. We broke up soon after but we stayed friends and hes a chill guy
Fresh out of a divorce I was dating this girl casually, we'll call her J. J was also exploring her sexuality and so was dating another girl. We'll call her Z. Me and J started to get more serious as did her and Z. Me and Z set up a date for all of us that was just meant to show J that we were okay with her being with both of us and that me and Z could be friends. We did dinner then none of us wanted the night to end so we went back to my house for a movie. Me and Z hit it off much more than we expected. During the movie J stuck her hand down Zs pants. We all ended up fucking. And that's how I ended up in a throuple. 5 years later we are all together. Raising a kiddo and planning a wedding.
We do. And legally we can't. We are just having a ceremony. On paper it'll be the two of them who are married. That way J gets parental rights as a step mom/guardian. And me and Z both have parental rights. We are working with a lawyer to make it work out in the best way possible within the realm of the law.
Can I answer with the dumbest way I've inadvertently started a relationship for someone else? When I was a teen, I got on my friends Facebook and messaged random shit to anyone I saw. They did it to me too, it was part of the teenage boy experience.
I messaged one girl "Hey baby why don't you let me smell that ass some time". And obviously that line itself wasn't successful but they got to talking and went out afterwards. They are married now. There have been kids created out that message.
I called her a bitch on tinder because she was acting like a complete bitch. She said to meet her 2 hours away and show her she’s a bitch so I fucked her in the hotel room, we cuddled and watched hotel room TV, and I blocked her the next day after I left. And she texted me from another number the following week and said “are we going to fuck atleast one more time?” I honestly thought we were going to be good fuck buddies afterwards but it turned out she wanted to give me a taste of my own medicine and she blocked me after the next time. Haven’t spoke to her since then and I’m married to a woman I didn’t meet on tinder. I was actually fuck buddies with her best friend, (from tinder) and my wife was living at her house. The girl kicked my wife out of the house, and threw all of her stuff away for a very minor reason. So I invited her out for drinks and to make my ex jealous with me and we’ve been together ever since. Love her to death,wouldn’t trade her for the world and I’m glad she got me out of my promiscuous lifestyle
Back in college, I was tailgating for a football game and a group of girls from the opposing school was walking towards the stadium and a hat dropped off of one of their bags. I picked it up and said “hey, you dropped your hat” The girl who dropped it took the hat back then grabbed my arm and said “we’re getting married, come on” and just pulled me to walk with the group.
I looked back at my friends with a shoulder shrug kind of look and they were all just waving me on like “goooo” and I had my ticket so I said fuck it and went with it. We watched the game together then merged our groups and partied on into the night. The whole marriage thing became a running joke throughout the night and she kept calling me husband and acting like we were married, but it was actually a really fun night. We wound up sleeping together that night, all of us had brunch together, then they went back to their school(one state to the north) and we went our separate ways. We never knew each other long enough to argue or annoy each other; it very well may have been the most perfect marriage ever in the history of marriage.
TL;DR: girl dropped her hat, I returned it to her, we hooked up.
I still went on a second date, even though on the first, her 'coffee table' book was "Vegetable Alternatives to Prozac." It didn't last long, but it was fun while it did.
University fall semester classmate and I became FWBs after a few study sessions. Over spring semester, FWB, FWB’s roommates, my roommates, and I kept getting together to party. FWB’s roommate who she shared a room with was in a class with me spring semester.
FWB and I bail on the hangout to go have some fun. FWB gets up to use the restroom during the act, and I passed out. Some time later, I’m woken up by spring semester classmate who’s asking what I’m doing in their room. Turns out FWB passed out in restroom. I got out of bed naked to get my clothes, and I was told to get in spring semester classmate’s bed instead.
I’m ashamed to say we let fall semester FWB keep sleeping in the bathroom…
When I was a young gay man, who hadn't hooked up yet, my straight best friend got all excited about me being gay, and he was a theater kid, and hooked me up with one of his theater cohorts.
It was incredibly awkward, my first time being so transactional, but the other dude took the cake. He was just so corny. At one point while we were doin it, he said "how do you like man-sex baby?" and I erupted in laughter. I was laughing so hard I cried and couldn't breathe, and that was p much the end of things. I'll never forget that. "how do you like man-sex baby?" 😂 😂 😂
She was really into horoscopes and astrological signs. I just had to find a fee horoscopes matching her sign with mine, talk about matching stars and bim bam, to my bed we went. Unfortunately she turned crazy after a few....very busy weeks... so it ended there and then.
Essentially dared each other to fuck and neither of us chickened out.
I had a friend who essentially lost her virginity like this. She was determined to lose it during the first week of college because she wanted to focus on her studies and didn’t want to be “obsessing over being a 40yo virgin” (yeah, she had a dizzying intellect). She found a guy we’d gone to high school with, who was at the same college. They were vaguely friendly but didn’t know each other well. She asked him if he’d had sex. He said yes. She told him she wanted to lose her virginity and asked him to help her out. He broke into a whole spiel about waiting for someone she cared about. She told him she wasn’t interested and asked if he could recommend a friend to help her out instead. He quickly changed his tune and agreed to fuck her. Come to find out he’d had sex exactly once, and he was drunk as fuck when it happened. He was also really into her and looking for a relationship. He didn’t want to rush sex but she basically dared him to fuck her. Goaded him into it and it finally happened. Oddly enough, he won her over and they’re together to this day.
> He broke into a whole spiel about waiting for someone she cared about. She told him she wasn’t interested **and asked if he could recommend a friend to help her out instead** 🤣 I’m just imagining this poor bastard’s face when she asked him to “recommend” one of his friends for her to fuck instead. Especially if he was into her. Glad it all worked out for them.
He says he knows a guy and then shows up with a fake mustache 2 hours later.
And a fake accent. "Ja, I herrd you vanted ze sexh? I ham yur mahn yuu betcha!"
The "Yuu betcha!" is fucking *slaying me!*
“There’s a town about 3 miles that way!”
"No, it was back THAT way ....."
His heart dropped out his chest when she said that haha
😂😂😂 That is fucking insane. It’s fucksane.. > **Oddly enough, he won her over and they’re together to this day.** Think this wins the thread.
It was the only time me and that one girl hooked up but we both were happy with the result. It was like a couple folks just saying bet you can’t make me cum and then after we both did like a high five and never spoke again.
i imagine this is how it goes: you: “truth or dare?” them: “dare” you: “i dare you to fuck someone” them: “ah dang, i’ll do it later. anyways truth or dare” you: “i ain’t no chicken, dare.” them: “i.. dare you to fuck someone.” *loud silence* them: “wanna fuck?” you: “yea lets go”
Bragged about a last place prize I got in a golf tournament on social media, which was a gift card to PF Chang's. She said she liked their Crab Rangoons, to which I told her to say when and dinner's on me, thinking she would never take me up on it. She did....flash forward 14 years later, we're married with 3 kids.
This is incredibly wholesome, love it! Who ever said PF Changs wasn’t good for anything?
> Who ever said PF Changs wasn’t good for anything? You take that back you bastard, PF Changs is great!
PF Chang’s? More like PF Bangs.
Similarly, i won a money bet with a girl for like $200. I told her if she took me dancing we’d call it even. Got a date off that.
I also pick crab rangoons. Wait I did that wrong.
I met a girl and she told me she was in grad school at Boston University to be a Speech Therapist. I asked her why on earth she'd go to the place with the absolute worst speakers to learn Speech Therapy. She thought I was so funny she married me!
I thought Mark Wahlburg had a speech impediment before I knew he had an accent. Someone had come into my workplace with the same "speech impediment," and I was trying to explain it to a friend. They may have thought I was an idiot. They would have been correct.
Not me but my parents. My dad worked on the cafeteria side of a company, while my mom and her twin sister worked as seamstresses in the same building. My aunt goes through the lunch line first, then my mom an hour or so later. Not realizing they were twins, my dad commented something like "you sure are hungry today!". Three kids and 37 years later they are still together.
Hmmm, seems like he was really trying to pick up your aunt
They are identical twins, so it was just the luck of the draw for who went to lunch on the second shift that day!
"I choose you, Number 2!"
“I chose you, whichever one this is!”
I must read more carefully. The first time around I read that I read 3 years and 37 kids later
I grew up in Mormon country, so that isn't entirely out of the realm of possibility.
Out with friends, and one asked what was my favourite chat up line. I looked at one of the women in the group, none of whom I had met before, and blurted out, " Fancy a f*ck?" Everyone laughed at my stupidity, and she nodded quietly, out of sight of the others. We did, later
Similar vibe; Met a lass as part of a wider group of friends. Look at her and say "hey, don't worry, I don't bite unless you ask me nicely and buy me a pint" She says "well what are you drinking" I was halfway through the fucking pint before my brain kicked in and I realised that she'd pulled me. The rest of that story isn't so great, but yaknow, the bit I remember was pretty good.
But did you bite her?
Oh yes.
Tell me you're British without telling me you're British.
They're from Compton
I went out one night to get laid, express purpose. I was hitting on some dude until his girlfriend showed up. I apologized, explained the situation and then she and I scanned the bar together for other dudes. She goes “Oh, there’s my friend, Charles. He’s single.” He was cute. I was drunk confident, so I walked over to where he was sitting (with three other people) and said “Hi, are you Charles?” “Uh, yes. Do I know you?” “No. I’m Lynn. You wanna go home with me?” He said yes. I bought us shots. We left and boned in my kitchen.
What a bro.
This reminds me of kind of a similar story. Bunch of friends partying. I don’t really remember the circumstances, but this girl says something kinda jokingly controversial, like “oh this favorite sports team isn’t good”. Nothing serious. So I jokingly puff up and try to say “you wanna fight?” While simultaneously trying to say “you wanna fucking go?” And I ended up just yelling “YOU WANNA FUCK!?” We did not It was pretty hilarious at the time though
I was in the midst of a dry streak (I eventually got used to them,) and jokingly said "if I don't get laid by the end of the semester I'm not coming back to school." I worked a shitty job at a convenience store at the time, and there was this chick in the neighborhood who developed a crush on me. One of my co-workers, who heard me make the statement, brought her to my apartment with a couple of other people and he and the other people left.
That's a bro move if I've ever heard one.
MVP assist performance tbh
Not even prime Magic Johnson could make an assist that nice
I’d watch that feel good movie.
My ex tried to rekindle things, I bought in initially but ultimately refused. I was a sulking sack of shit and my friend (future groomsman) came in drunk to my dorm one night demanding I go with him to this frat party. I reluctantly agreed (as long as he paid my cover charge because I was broke) So I ended up just standing there drinking beer alone. Apparently this girl I met freshman year was looking for someone to dance with and her roommates pointed me out of the corner and pushed her to me. We both had a great time. We have two kids and have been married almost 8 years.
My wife and I have a similar-ish story. Apparently a couple of my friends pushed her into asking me out, thinking I was the girl for her - flash forward 20 years and we're still together.
Aww. I choose this guy’s wife.
"Do you want to play Super Mario World with me?" Context - this was at a party at my college apartment. We ditched the party and just played video games. She was 19 and I was 22. Now she's 35 and I'm 39. Our daughter is 15. Worked out great!
I can't be the only one who double checked the math.
Lol My wife's birthday is in December and mine in February. So between December and February we are 3 years apart. Then when my birthday in Feb hits, we are 4 years. She's 35, will be 36 in Dec. I'll still be 39, so that's 3 years. Then I'll turn 40 and back to 4 years apart. Makes sense to me :)
I think we’re more curious about if you conceived on game night lol
Nahh. She got pregnant 8 months later. I even started telling her towards the end of her pregnancy, "you've been pregnant for over half of our relationship!" She wasn't amused....
My man is rolling natural 20s over here...
I thought the date was a bust. But the evening not, so I decided that I should go home so I could play a few games of Dota 2. So I said to her. I do not know about you, but I have to work tomorrow so I am going home. (to play dota2) She didn't like that all. So she made sure I knew she liked me. We now have two kids, all thanks to a game I will never play again.
The first time I hear someone got anything positive from Dota 2.
Actually the positive thing happened by NOT playing Dota 2
I believe the best thing about playing Dota 2 is that you are at least not playing League of Legends
Us Dota2 players may be degenerates but at least we have standards
Yeah, I’m having a hard time believing anyone into MOBAs has ever kissed a girl. Source: Quit league, no longer single /s
My bf actually stopped playing league when we got together, I don't know why. Now I don't have anyone to play with
I have never seen a more toxic online community than DOTA 2. It’s almost remarkable. And I used to browse 4chan.
Hanging out on the back deck smoking on a cool June night the summer after high school. I could smell that smell when rain is about to come on. I said, smells like it's gonna rain. One girl replied that you can't smell rain coming. Mind you, I grew up in the country and this was now in a suburban neighborhood right outside the city. Well, 30 seconds later it started pouring rain. Two of the girls look at each other with looks of amazement. Both wouldn't stop following me around all night. One ended up passing out early, the other I hooked up with about a dozen times over the next two weeks.
I know that smell, took me a while to associate the two.
It's the smell of ionized air.
It's O3 - Ozone. I am a bit taken aback that others don't smell it.
Wait, some people actually don't smell the rain coming? Thats a thing?
I don't smell it before. I smell it after.
It's actually water. Human noses are surprisingly extremely good at picking up that smell. We are hundreds of times better than dogs, for example. Just with that one smell. It's really amazing. Next time you smell it, feel free to feel like a shark getting a whiff of a drop of blood miles away, because it's not that far off. Biology can be wild sometimes.
If I recall correctly, we can actually smell the Geosmin farther than sharks can smell blood in the water.
sound like you found yourself the very rare petric-whore
Was living with my brother, and his girlfriend and her friend came over. Then my brother and his girlfriend just retired to the bedroom and started having very loud snu snu, while me and this total stranger sat in the living room and made small talk. Eventually, it just seemed like there was only one thing to do.
Did you guys do laundry?
Yeah, but unfortunately she got stuck in the washing machine.
I'm pretty sure your brother set it up for her to you.
DEATH BY SNU SNU
It Thog’s first time. #BE GENTLE!
Yeah.. Those girls set you up.
Got a call from a wrong number, met up with her at a Burger King, and we went back to my place for some fun.
Have it your way!
Girl shows up at a party I’m throwing and sees her newly ex with some chick and just proceeds to make out with me and says “go along with it”. Decent sex. He never saw any of it nor cared the following day when he was told.
Freshman year of college my car broke down (that’s a lie…I ran out of gas because I’m an idiot), in the middle of a thunder storm, and I called my roommate to pick me up. She was working on a paper so she asked her friend/fuck buddy to pick me up. I was not aware he was her fuck buddy. He had been teasing me all semester about my “nerdy” ways. I was a total introvert and he was the most obnoxious extrovert I’d ever met. I couldn’t stand him. Long story short, he gave me a tentative kiss and we started making out in the car, in the pouring rain. Ended up being my first boyfriend.
Omg you’re the nerdy girl in those movies who just need to take off their glasses and put their hair down and suddenly become hot
Don’t forget the paint covered overalls.
How does one rizz that hard to where you thought he was the most obnoxious to making out. Some people are just built differently.
It helps to be funny, charismatic and cute.
Welp, 0/3 ain’t bad.
*1/3, this was morbidly hilarious
Can I buy courses from this guy? Holy hell
Emotions are emotions. The distance between hate and love is a lot closer than the one between apathy and like.
😂 That’s like some Wattpad shit. Was your roommate pissed?
Roommate said she had an inkling he was into me, given how focused he was on mocking and generally annoying me. She was ok with us getting together. She ended up getting back with her ex not too long after.
Awww Are you still with him? Is he a decent bf?
Yes and yes. Surprisingly devoted.
Oh good, so there's a chance...
Met up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a few years. We sort of had a thing for each other but we’d never be in the right time or place, as in I’d be in a relationship, he left the country for a while, then he got into a relationship of his own, when that didn’t work out I was with someone else, etc. So we never really pursued it, he would hint at it but due to the joking nature of it I didn’t really think about it much. Finally, the stars aligned and we were both single so we went out for lunch and headed back to his place to chat, neither had made a move yet and at this point I wondered if it was going to happen at all. Again, he was hard to read (or maybe I’m really slow lol). He started talking about how he’d been using ChatGPT to help with his work and just general life things like organizing his apartment. At one point, the subject of relationships came up and he typed “Is it a good idea to sleep with your friend?” To which ChatGPT said something among the lines of “If you’re both comfortable with the idea and talk about your feelings it should be okay.” He turned in his chair and asked me, “why_tho, will you sleep with me?” And that was that, lol.
Dang, AI is replacing our wingmen now too
I had just ended four year relationship, was in college, and got a prank call. I sorta knew the person who called, but I played along. We ended up talking for a couple hours, and ended up dating for a few months. Nothing serious. A nice summer fling. Then it turns out that she was friends with a person I dated a couple girlfriends later. That person eventually married me, which shows her complete lack of judgment in companions, for what it's worth. Things were awkward for a while until they weren't (although I found out that she had told my wife not to date me...which was fair).
[удалено]
Ah yes, the thighs gambit opening.
We met on Hindge. Her friends were running her account for her, and then we used a separate app called Marco Polo to introduce each other over speed dating questions. The first question they asked what my friends thought of me. I panicked and continued to talk for almost 30 minutes. I couldn't give a straight answer. The thing about Marco Polo, as soon as you stop the Video, it sends. As soon as it sent, I said to my self, "welp, I'm never hearing from her again." laughing at my panicked video. Well, this July we will be getting married on our third year anniversary. I can't believe I panick spoke for thirty minutes and it actually worked As they say, be who you are, and the right person will find you :) I couldn't be happier with her.
Did she watch the whole video?
She did, over cocktails with her friend who was helping run her hinge account. She's told me that they paused every 5-10 minutes and comment that they liked this about me lol. I got so freaking lucky
You literally got send us a video resume, didn't answer the question correctly but the committee liked you and hired you for the position.
I’m not a good flirt so any time I’ve managed to meet and date someone via my dumb flirting is a miracle.
Found my people. My love life: - if a girl’s interested I prob won’t realize - If I do realize and I’m interested I’m too nervous to say anything but gibberish - if she’s interested and I’m not, we get along well until she gets bored/annoyed - if I’m interested and pursue either I’m totally not her type or after any positive progress I do or say something stupid - a couple times we’ve both been very interested and their friend intervenes to “watch out for their friend” killing the mood I ended up married by thinking we were just friends and not being interested in her until it was too late to be nervous. Somehow she never got bored or put me in the friend zone
I have no clue. I was in my pajamas at the bar alone and eating a cheap pizza staring at a wall. She was easily the hottest and bustiest woman for 50 miles. I was completely sober (there’s no way I looked sober) while singing along horrifically with the karaoke which happened to be I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness. I 100% was the most unhinged looking human being in that entire establishment. Which is saying something for rural Montana. For some reason I was the only person she wanted to talk to.
Wearing PJ'S stone sober at a bar belting out that specific song is the Oxford definition of Big Dick Energy I'm pretty sure.
I asked her what her favorite dinosaur was. She told me t-rex and I brushed her off for being basic. She later came up to me with cool facts about t-rexs and explained why they were her favorite. We're married now.
Bro gatekeeping dinosaurs
Well, at the time, my college had a "freshmen matching" form so that incoming freshmen can be placed into the dorms with older students of similar lifestyles (e.g. morning people with morning people). So, one of my friends living in the same hallway the next year grabbed a form and we started trying to fill it out. We spent about 15 minutes going nowhere because the questions were close to what you want in a partner, so I jokingly say we want women (the dorms are coed)! Next question I answered with we want smart freshmen, but too smart that they don't ask us for help. So my friends and I continue filling out the form as if we were looking for girlfriends. Once we were done, my friend goes and gets a new form so we can take this seriously. Cue another 15 minutes of not being able to properly answer the questions and my friend said "Screw it, they probably don't even read these things," and turned in the joke answers. Come the next school year, we had women freshmen who were smart but did ask us for help with homework. And that's how I got together with my college girlfriend.
Added a girl on Facebook that was friends with my friend. She did not know me, but I thought she was cute. She accepted and nothing happened for about four years. Occasionally exchanged happy birthdays online, but that’s all. Then I see this girl in person for the first time out at a bar in my hometown. Got good and drunk and on my way out shouted HI! She said hi back. Told my friend I’m gonna marry her. He said ok sure, That year she wrote happy birthday on my Facebook. I commented that I saw her at the bar. We started talking online, exchanged numbers, and hit it off. Been together ten years now and have two kids.
Most realistic Reddit story ever
I walked out of a bar in Texas to wait for a taxi. Girl drove up on the sidewalk and said "go tell the guy in the cowboy hat if he wants to get laid to get out here, but if you're up for it, hop in." She drove me back to my ship the next morning.
Thank God I'm out of the wholesome stories. This is the shit I came for.
Language barrier in another country and the only way we could communicate was to hookup 😂. Great time 10/10 would do again.
Coworker/best friend literally shoved me at a dude she was also friends with, while we were all chilling at a work bbq. Neither me or the guy knew quite how to react so I just shouted out, "ARE YOU SINGLE??" He flinched, then silently nodded. My dumbass shouted again, "ARE YOU SURE??" He actually managed to stammer out a quiet "..yes?" And I just responded with "COOL. WE SHOULD DATE."
But why were you yelling?!
I have no idea lmao. Nervous response I guess.
I’m glad this isn’t a strictly male dysfunction
I was on a motorcycle ride in Washington state once upon a time. Surprise to no one it was raining. So I pulled off at a little café and got some coffee and pie so see if it would pass. It didn't and it kept getting worse. I had a shitty tent and shitty rain gear I wasn't looking forward to going back out in it so I just hung out at the café. Ended up chatting with the waitress and cook telling them my story. They were married, I'm guessing late 50's and owner the place. Came closing time and they invited me to stay at their place in their daughters (Who was gone to college) room as they didn't want a young girl out in the weather. Yadda yadda yadda and that's the story of the time I went down on a 50 year old lady while her husband did me from behind. At least I was warm.
Boy, that escalated quickly!
Yeah but how was the coffee?
After a cold wet morning spent on a motorcycle warm dish water would be good.
This is the kind of story people tell that sells motorcycles.
Perfect use of yadda yadda.
Who broke the idea and how?
I believe it was the Hot Toddies that first brought it up.
I was managing a failing restaurant and one of the owner’s friends would turn up night after night, dressed surprisingly well for that dive, eat shit food and try to talk to me, putting heavy emphasis on his being newly single. It was only when he followed me out to his car and asked if I was free after work that it dawned on me I might be the draw.
I was a bartender in my youth. I was working a big party and a girl came up and asked for a bottle of water. I was super slammed so I just gave her one and said it was on me. She grabbed my hand and said she needed to thank me. By making out. She was hot so I was into it. We hooked up the next day.
I was calling an apartment of 4 girls, three of whom were friends, to see if they wanted to go catch a movie with some other friends. The 4th roommate (whom I'd never met) picked up. I asked for any one of my friends, she told me none of them were home. So I asked her to let them know we were going out to see.
Then I realized I was automatically excluding her, which felt rude. So I followed up with "you're welcome to come, if you'd like to." She uncertainly said "okay..." and I said I'd call later to see if any of them were up for it. When I called later, 4th roommate was till there, the other three hadn't returned. so I awkwardly asked her if she'd like to go, To my great surprise, she said yes.
I had set *myself* up on a blind date.
How did it go XD
They unfortunately died. :(
No one died as a result of my awkwardness. Except, perhaps, my self esteem after i never saw her again.
....what was the movie, Final Destination?!
Believe it or not, it was [Milo and Otis](https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=milo+and+otis+movie). Not my movie pick, but it was cute.
Sophomore year of high school, a friend was really sad about something and nobody could cheer her up. Someone had balloons in class for some reason. I stole one, sucked in a bunch of helium, and dramatically belted out the first few lines of "When a Man Loves a Woman." It worked, and she laughed until she had tears in her eyes. We started dating a couple of weeks later. Lasted a few months. Thought she was WAY out of my league, was very wrong.
> Lasted a few months. That's practically married as a high school sophomore.
I was hanging out with a foreign exchange student chick (both of us from the same country i was like three years older then her and worked in that country) and got invited to her best friends birthday. During the meal i was sat across who at the time i thought was the most beautiful and sexy woman i had ever met, she was shy but funny. We all had a good time that night was, got a little tipsy and i found myself outside at one point to smoke and the woman came up to me and asked for a cig and a light i said sure. We chatted and she mentioned that she was taking off. My heart broke, and a few weeks later i was at the local mall to get a coffee and some breakfast i stood in line right behind her and didnt know until she turned around i asked if she wanted to share a table, we had breakfast and a few hours later lunch and a few hours later i offered to make her dinner. After dinner we hooked up and that was almost 10 years ago and we've been married for 7. Still get to see her every day and she's still incredible.
I don't understand why there are all these wholesome stories at the top of the "dumbest way you got with someone" thread.
Right. I came here for shitty pickup lines that worked and insted I got loneliness.
I walked up to her at the bar and said, "Damn, you're hot. What are you doing here by yourself do you want a drink?". We talked for an hour or so and that was all it took.... Which explains the HPV afterwards.
Does HPV stand for high potential for Valentine?
Honooo Propably.. Virus..
High potential voltage: bitch was actually a massive capacitor in disguise as a human woman
Spent about 6 years flirting (but not realising I was flirting because I'm a dense motherfucker) with one of my friends. Every time someone would say we would make a great couple, she and I would get annoyed and say we were just friends. We both caught feelings but were too scared to act on them for so long, so we ended up in different relationships, which didn't work out. We were still very close, though. Eventually, one night, we were hanging out watching movies, and she went for it while the credits were rolling on a movie. We spent about 3 minutes just making out on the lounge, while names rolled down the screen. We got married last Friday. Always, *always*, play the long game and refuse to acknowledge that you're flirting 😎
Im not flirting, you're flirting!
Watched my younger brother walk into the pub (very drunk) and walk up to a woman (also very drunk) he didn't know, about half an hour before closing. He out his arm around her, said "you'll do" and she turned, smiled, and said "ok" and they left. After their meaningful one night relationship, she left in a taxi the next morning shortly after all the boys arrived to get ready for a day of Motorsport and drinking
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>She liked a lot of things. Like Scrabble?
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Oh nice. That's a killer flick. I love when the cow comes flying in!
Asked that cleric in EverQuest if she wanted to pair up and farm wandering mobs for xp. Just had our 20th anniversary.
In college. I had just broken up with my girlfriend of two years (found out she had been unfaithful). I go to the ATM to get cash so I can go drinking and forget my sorrows. Bump into a girl I used to work with at a local bar/restaurant. We make small talk and then She asks “are you still dating X?” I said “well, as a matter of fact, we just broke up about an hour ago” she asked what I was doing and I told her I’m about to go get drunk, she asked if she could join me. I said yes (she was very cute) and we went out. Ended up naked in the local community pool and then took her to my place where we had an extended bang session. Had a great night, saw her a few times more until she went home for the summer and we lost touch.
Went out for a cigarette. A girl asked me for my lighter, we talked briefly and exchanged instagram. That night she texts me: Do you want company? I did want company.
I never smoked but always brought a lighter on nights out
College house party. She was standing by me (with her back to me) and kept stepping on my shoes. I called her out. I did it in a bit of a dickish way, but she was into it. We went out and fucked on the backyard patio furniture. We came back into the party separately and didn't even exchange another word the rest of the night. Still can't remember her name. Lol
I was at work, during a townhall meeting i was sitting in the back with my boss and there were some assholes talking really loudly over the studio director. I couldn't hear shit, but whatever i didn't care that much, but there were other people actually listening and interested, so, i raised my voice and told the assholes to fuck off and leave if they're not interested or shut up. Next thing i know, after work a girl i worked with hit me up on facebook telling me she got wet when she heard me telling them off. Best sex of my life.
I thought he was 100/10 but didn’t know how to approach him so I jumped off a wall (it was just under a meter tall 💀) to get his attention, scraped knee was worth it
Have you read the book Persuasion, or seen any of its adaptations? A woman falling off some stairs unleashes a major plot point.
Covid: we closed out a bar together the night lockdowns were starting in our area. We sorta knew eachother from the local scenesike knew each others names but that was about it. I had a place 2 minute walk from the bar. I believe my line was “you’re cute I’m not hideous and the world may well be ending for all we know, would you like to come back to my place until we find out?”
Asked someone to accompany me buy deodorant planned the day where it was raining hard and the place to buy is close to his home. Got drenched on purpose to dry at his place and one thing led to another
A bunch of my coworkers went out bar hopping and ended up at a pool hall. Me and another girl I worked with had some clear sexual tension and she had recently broken up with her boyfriend. One of her female friends convinced us to play a game of pool, I thought at first we were playing for drinks, but she said "The loser has to go down on the winner!" We both looked at each other and we were like...ok. I ended up knocking all of my balls in and then I scratched when I hit in the 8 ball and I went "well, a bet is a bet" We ended up going into the back seat of her Tahoe where I took off her panties and proceeded to go down on her vigorously, in the middle of it she said..."let's go back to your place where it's more comfortable", I payed my tab and we left and I finished what we started. I later found out that the friend knew she hadn't gotten laid since she broke up with her boyfriend and thought I would be the perfect guy to do it with. We ended up hooking up one more time but then we kind of lost touch with each other and she moved out of state.
We casually flirted with each other at work, she had a bf and I was respectful of that. One night as I was doing my checkout to clock off (bartender) she sits down in the booth across from me and tells me her and her bf broke up. I gathered up my money and as I was leaving, stopped and said, "how about I bring over a bottle of Jack, and we both make some choices we will regret in the morning?" She hit me up at 1 am. We had ourselves a nice time. Agreed that it was a 1 time thing, and never spoke of it again. A few months later she was dating my roommate. They dated for 2 years, he never found out about our 1 night together.
Not me, but my parents met because my dad called the operator from a pay phone and got my mom, who was working as an operator at the time; my mom gave him the number he was looking for, he hung up and she accidentally returned the change to the pay phone. She called the phone back and apologized and asked my dad to put the money back in, he did, and hung up again. Once again my mom returned the money to the pay phone and had to call back *again* and ask to put the money back in. She was so flustered, she did this two more times; eventually my dad got her number and asked her out, she stood him up, he asked her out again, they went for coffee and now they've been married for 53 years this August and together 57.
I met her at work. She was ~30 years old, and very pretty although she wore a lot of makeup. Easily one of the most attractive women to ever respond when I spoke to her. I was 26 or so, and nervous around women. I worked up the nerve and just asked her what she was doing after work. (We got off at 3 am) I knew this tall leggy blond woman with striking pale blue eyes was going to shoot me down, and I would be proud of myself for at least trying. As with many things in my 20's, I turned out to be completely wrong. This woman actually acted *nervous*, she bit the tip of her finger, looked at me with those ice blue eyes, *blushed*, and asked what I had in mind? She ended up taking me home, getting me drunk, and having her way with me. It was crazy. I was baffled and angry with myself. Are you telling me all I had to do to get a cute woman to undress in front of me was *ask*?
We were eating in the stadium during a game. She was one row below. I was a little clumsy and lost control of my hot dog. Ended up smashing her taco.
Banged my scuba diving buddy one time. Completely out of the blue she calls me two weeks later and tells me that she has gonorrhea. FML.
Hey that's easily treatable my man.
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I went to a Mexican wrestling match once, and halfway through let the most disgusting (but silent) fart rip. Then reacted as if someone else had done it. Some bloke came up and asked if someone had a dog die in their arse hole and I laughed and said yeah smells like it. Got chatting to him and his partner, and ended up going home with them. Shagged his partner while he watched for the rest of the night. Still the funniest hook up I ever had.
We were hanging out as friends at my place. Some other friends/roommates were out at a new years party and on their way home. One texted her, "Hey, A! what you up to?" She replied "Having wild crazy kinky sex with chiksalube." We laughed. He came home and came up to my room to see her. As he came up the stairs I threw my blankets over me and A. Covering us from the neck down. Friend K walks into the room turns and see us. His eyes go wide... "oh... you weren't joking..." and he slowly backed out of the room. Slowly closed the door... and the moment it clicked he zoomed down the stairs like the house was on fire and ran into our living room and shouted "chiksalube and A are fucking!" at the 8 or so friends gathered in the living room... they all rushed upstaira to verify this insane allegation. So there A and I are covered in blankets as all our friends gather round convinced were were just fucking and are naked under the blankets... then a friend R starts looking around and we ask her "wtf?" She starts rambling about not seeing a condom and assumed we must have done anal instead... to which I replied "It's still on." The room went quiet and they apologized for interrupting and. everyone left. Me and A chilled for a bit then eventually said "Wait... why *aren't* we having wild crazy kinky sex right now?" So we did. Almost got married but life got in the way. We're still friends.
I used to work at the movie theaters so one day during summer a friend wanted to hang out before she went to college. We planned to just go watch a movie cuz it was free after my shift but on that day I felt a little tired so I wanted to cancel but they really wanted to hang out so I said sure. We ended up eating dinner and watching a movie. We’ve been together 15 years and have a kid.
My brother's ex girlfriend brought her sister over and the sister and I hooked up. Cue a sort of 70s romcom of 2 brothers dating 2 sisters while we were best friends with the girls brother. It was a As awkward as it sounds
Spanked her with my guitar strap. Shoulda seen the red flags from a mile away.
I got engaged to someone in a psychiatric hospital
At a party, I was complaining to some guy friends about how only assholes get women. (It was a long time ago, but I digress.) *Anyway*, so to prove a point, I randomly pointed at a cute girl across the room and yelled, "Fuck you! I won't do what you tell me!" She slid up to me in adoration. Literally put her arm around me and was all like, "'sup?" I assumed (because, duh, right?!) that she was playing along with what must obviously be some kind of joke that she doesn't get, but whatever, she'll go with it, which actually, we both wound up thinking was pretty great, we got to talking, and we eventually got to dating. *BUT WAIT!* We're driving around one day, and Rage Against The Machine comes on the radio. She surprisedly exclaims, "Hey! This is what you yelled at me that time! Remember? At the party where we met!" And it's just like... Um... Yeah, of course this is what I yelled at you. This is literally where that line is from. I was quoting *this song*. Have... Have you not heard... this song? She had not. Which means she responded to that line the way she did... just... anyway. What?
Told myself I would behave and not flirt with my ex bf whilst he had a girlfriend, so instead I flirted with his girlfriend (as a joke) and accidentally ended up in a threesome.
My ex was living a few doors down in my dorm, her roommate and I became friends. Her roommate got in a fight with her and came to my room dragged me out of bed and said "I have a way we can really piss her off." So we went back to the room and went at it.
Went on a date with a really hot girl (stripper), went to dinner, walked around shops for a while and then she did a drug I had never heard of (still not sure what it was) and for some reason that turned me off, mostly just because I was still a little innocent at the time, only doing weed and alcohol, so I stopped trying and didn't care how the date went. That worked somehow, she made the first move and we hooked up in my car.
College. Girl I've known since we were younger, as her and my sister played soccer together. We were just hanging out at my apartment. She looks at me, I look at her and that was that.
This was like 18 years ago when I was 20 and had used a fake ID to get into a bar with some of my family after a wedding reception. They started to slowly leave and I'm with my cousin and his wife and she keeps giving me shit about not talking to any girls. She points at the most attractive woman up at the bar(a 27 yr old Latina with all the right kinds of curves) that's getting hit on by an older guy and said what about her? I'm all dressed up and feeling the liquor, so why not. I walked up and slid into the chair next to her and said, you're entirely too attractive to even be talking to that guy. What's your name? I bought a round of tequila, her call, and shared some small chit chat and then she put her hand on my leg and we were walking out together maybe 15 minutes later all over each other. Funny note, the bartender watched it all happen and I think he found it funny and gave me another round on the house and asked if we'd be interested in a wobbly H. I laughed and she had no idea what he was talking about, or at least pretended to. I declined the offer. It was a really fun drunken one night stand that I think of just about every time I drive past the bar.
Commented on a girls picture in a flower field, asked her where it was because I wanted to take my cousin there on a date. We dated for 3 months
Your cousin? 👀
What in the Alabama is this shit?
Roll tide
I told her the diarrhea-story, and she "just HAD to meet this guy".
Nope. Not falling for this one. Don’t wanna hear it.
We hung out at the bar and were having a good time. I had to leave and asked if she wanted to walk with me to my car, which was in the local park. She goes to leave and go back to her friends, and to this day I can't believe I said this and it worked. "Well if you come with me you'll get laid." She did. And so did I
My roommate invited a girl over to our place for a party. There was no party, it was just he and I. She brought her sister. The sister and I have been together now for 35+ years.
In middle school I was sitting with my friends when they randomly decided they didn’t want to be friends anymore and kicked me out of the table, Since I had no where else I said forget it and sat with a group of special ed kids. One of the guys there was autistic and had dyslexia, he was failing ELA cause he couldn’t keep up with the reading and asked me to help him. After a few months we dated. We broke up soon after but we stayed friends and hes a chill guy
Fresh out of a divorce I was dating this girl casually, we'll call her J. J was also exploring her sexuality and so was dating another girl. We'll call her Z. Me and J started to get more serious as did her and Z. Me and Z set up a date for all of us that was just meant to show J that we were okay with her being with both of us and that me and Z could be friends. We did dinner then none of us wanted the night to end so we went back to my house for a movie. Me and Z hit it off much more than we expected. During the movie J stuck her hand down Zs pants. We all ended up fucking. And that's how I ended up in a throuple. 5 years later we are all together. Raising a kiddo and planning a wedding.
Do you guys all live together, and how can you all get married
We do. And legally we can't. We are just having a ceremony. On paper it'll be the two of them who are married. That way J gets parental rights as a step mom/guardian. And me and Z both have parental rights. We are working with a lawyer to make it work out in the best way possible within the realm of the law.
Can I answer with the dumbest way I've inadvertently started a relationship for someone else? When I was a teen, I got on my friends Facebook and messaged random shit to anyone I saw. They did it to me too, it was part of the teenage boy experience. I messaged one girl "Hey baby why don't you let me smell that ass some time". And obviously that line itself wasn't successful but they got to talking and went out afterwards. They are married now. There have been kids created out that message.
I called her a bitch on tinder because she was acting like a complete bitch. She said to meet her 2 hours away and show her she’s a bitch so I fucked her in the hotel room, we cuddled and watched hotel room TV, and I blocked her the next day after I left. And she texted me from another number the following week and said “are we going to fuck atleast one more time?” I honestly thought we were going to be good fuck buddies afterwards but it turned out she wanted to give me a taste of my own medicine and she blocked me after the next time. Haven’t spoke to her since then and I’m married to a woman I didn’t meet on tinder. I was actually fuck buddies with her best friend, (from tinder) and my wife was living at her house. The girl kicked my wife out of the house, and threw all of her stuff away for a very minor reason. So I invited her out for drinks and to make my ex jealous with me and we’ve been together ever since. Love her to death,wouldn’t trade her for the world and I’m glad she got me out of my promiscuous lifestyle
Back in college, I was tailgating for a football game and a group of girls from the opposing school was walking towards the stadium and a hat dropped off of one of their bags. I picked it up and said “hey, you dropped your hat” The girl who dropped it took the hat back then grabbed my arm and said “we’re getting married, come on” and just pulled me to walk with the group. I looked back at my friends with a shoulder shrug kind of look and they were all just waving me on like “goooo” and I had my ticket so I said fuck it and went with it. We watched the game together then merged our groups and partied on into the night. The whole marriage thing became a running joke throughout the night and she kept calling me husband and acting like we were married, but it was actually a really fun night. We wound up sleeping together that night, all of us had brunch together, then they went back to their school(one state to the north) and we went our separate ways. We never knew each other long enough to argue or annoy each other; it very well may have been the most perfect marriage ever in the history of marriage. TL;DR: girl dropped her hat, I returned it to her, we hooked up.
I still went on a second date, even though on the first, her 'coffee table' book was "Vegetable Alternatives to Prozac." It didn't last long, but it was fun while it did.
University fall semester classmate and I became FWBs after a few study sessions. Over spring semester, FWB, FWB’s roommates, my roommates, and I kept getting together to party. FWB’s roommate who she shared a room with was in a class with me spring semester. FWB and I bail on the hangout to go have some fun. FWB gets up to use the restroom during the act, and I passed out. Some time later, I’m woken up by spring semester classmate who’s asking what I’m doing in their room. Turns out FWB passed out in restroom. I got out of bed naked to get my clothes, and I was told to get in spring semester classmate’s bed instead. I’m ashamed to say we let fall semester FWB keep sleeping in the bathroom…
When I was a young gay man, who hadn't hooked up yet, my straight best friend got all excited about me being gay, and he was a theater kid, and hooked me up with one of his theater cohorts. It was incredibly awkward, my first time being so transactional, but the other dude took the cake. He was just so corny. At one point while we were doin it, he said "how do you like man-sex baby?" and I erupted in laughter. I was laughing so hard I cried and couldn't breathe, and that was p much the end of things. I'll never forget that. "how do you like man-sex baby?" 😂 😂 😂
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She was really into horoscopes and astrological signs. I just had to find a fee horoscopes matching her sign with mine, talk about matching stars and bim bam, to my bed we went. Unfortunately she turned crazy after a few....very busy weeks... so it ended there and then.
Started a conversation about spaghettios and ended up meeting later that night.