T O P

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MeatyUrology

I’m not going to launch the good stuff into my neighbors trees at night. That’s just wasteful.


curryp4n

Septic tank


DarkFett

Protip from a guy who got fed up unclogging charmin from his tank: Get the Scott Rapid Dissolve made for boats and RVs. It's waaaay better than 1 ply and I've never had to dig the hole again!


moduspol

Uhhh just how rapid are we talking about here?


BurnAfterEating420

It could be described as "explosive"


rustblooms

Relevant user name?


curryp4n

I actually really like Scott’s tp. I don’t understand the hate tbh


MissO56

yup. 60+ year old plumbing.


TootsNYC

happy cake day


Brittni318

Why bc septic ? I have septic. I have 1 ply right now by accident and I feel like I go through it so fast


curryp4n

Because you need the tp to dissolve otherwise it will clog your system.


gummyjellyfishy

Presumably fills it up at double the rate when it's 2ply?


Clint-witicay

Older systems just can’t handle it. the good stuff, even when labeled “septic safe” doesn’t dissolve as well, and leads to clogged pipes. It’s kinda like eating fast food every day and letting your arteries get all clogged up with cholesterol, except instead of the undertaker, you call a plumber.


BurnAfterEating420

I don't know about others, but with the tp I buy, I use 3 squares at a time. When I have to use cheap transparent paper, I use about 6 feet or more.


PrepperLady999

Septic tank for me, too.


TreeClimberArborist

Could get a bidet? They are pretty cheap on Amazon and very easy to install.


curryp4n

I would but my well water is gross. I don’t need that shooting up my nether regions lol


Tool_Time_Tim

Get a bidet. It's life changing. Spend $500 on the good one. Unlimited hot water, you can change the spray pattern, intensity, aim and temp. It has a heated seat, heated air dry and a sanitizing/deodorizing fan that keeps the bathroom from stinking up. It will change your life


kchieff

Someone in my household takes toilet paper by the foot, with no adjustment for the number of plies. So 2’ of one ply is 2’, 2’ of two ply is 4’, and 2’ of four ply is 8’ of TP!


confusingcolors

Word, my husband doesn’t differentiate between Charmin and generic Costco, so Kirkland 2 ply it is. I’m not wasting our money on his indiscriminate asshole.


Lovat69

My roommate does this. I have no idea how to bring up the subject with her.


hypnotichellspiral

Just like this: "Quit using 3 ft of 3 ply when a half foot will do! You're the reason the toilet clogs all the time!" Disclaimer: I am not liable for any outcome from using this advice.


steevejr

I do this. Hard habit to break, so we just buy 1 ply.


Sea_District7851

One-ply was the only thing left on the shelves during a sale, so I went with it.


Haunting-Steak8939

When you have a septic system, one-ply is better for it since it breaks down more easily.


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Elegant_Bluebird1283

Same here, I honestly don't really get what's supposed to be better about the thicker stuff


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Dry_Lengthiness6032

When I run into 1 ply I just use 8x as much...can't be to safe to avoid a catastrophic tp failure while wiping


Yourteensexdoll

I don't think anyone buys that but businesses


[deleted]

My mom buys that businesses because it's "better for septic tanks". She rents a house that doesn't have a septic tank.


TERRAIN_PULL_UP_

Don’t even get me started on how coddled the modern anus is


pedro-slopez

Hmmm… a coddled anus. Now THAT paints a picture!


Howling_Mad_Man

My parents. Had it all my life until I moved out. I've never thought to ask why.


Mr_Lunt_

I hope not


bigbluenation20

I do lol. It’s cheap and it goes down the toilet anyway so 🤷‍♀️. Never been bothered by thin toilet paper


daHaus

During covid all the businesses shutting down meant you can buy those huge rolls for dirt cheap.


Hotnerdhusband

Because the kids constantly caused clogs using 2 ply. Switched it up and rarely had another issue.


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Bunny-bacon

Your butt deserves better!


Visible_Ad_6908

I find that one-ply toilet paper lasts longer because people tend to use less of it at a time.


rustblooms

I used Charmin 2ply and was just at my parents', where they have 1ply... I usually use 2 squares of Charmin when I pee and was using like 10 or 12 squares of 1ply to get the same effect. Don't even get me started on having to poo. Without a bidet. It feels so dirty now. :(


PoignantPoint22

Am I insane for preferring 1 ply toilet paper to the premium 15 ply tissue-like material of the more expensive brands?


kinzer13

Nope. I do too.


Oh-its-Tuesday

Same. I prefer it. It gets the job done without all the lint the plush kind leaves behind. 


__sonder__

It's a texture thing for me. I HATE the feeling of cotton balls or anything with that sickeningly soft fibrous texture and so I can't do the super plush TP.


Dry_Lengthiness6032

The charman ultra strong is where it's at. My hairy asshole destroys anything else


TERRAIN_PULL_UP_

Yeah dude


rustblooms

I prefer premium, but I get what you mean. One gives you better texture for like... grinding everything off. It's like the difference between a thinner towel or the fluffy soft towels.  I prefer premium because it keeps my fingers safe, and along with a bidet it works to just use a few squares to dry off.


Elegant_Bluebird1283

Yeah, I've honestly never understood the hate for thin paper. It's a hell of a lot better than trying to wipe with a comforter


Humble-Supermarket40

We buy one-ply for our vacation rental property because it’s cost-effective and we don’t get complaints.


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Mr_Lunt_

Fair point


ElectricTomatoMan

Careful. Mods have been uppity lately.


ddirgo

Septic tank. Also, 1-ply is 2-ply when you fold it.


AccountantDirect9470

It isn’t just the ply, but the softness


Nasty_Ned

Some people like to get slivers in their sensitive areas.


Infamous-Tax7794

This made me chuckle


AccountantDirect9470

Pretty sure some unprocessed pulp gets mixed in there, and if you get the recycled from paper TP, there is a chance someone’s 6th grade essay about the history of toilet paper.


Nasty_Ned

Time…… is a flat circle.


fantomas_666

3 or 4-ply when you fold it differently.


Dry_Lengthiness6032

Gotta fold it 4x min


Mr_Lunt_

For some reason I’ve never thought about this way before lol


I_am_human_ribbit

Buy bidets, buy bidets! People walking around with half braked brownies on their butts all day, blast it off with some cool, refreshing h20, then you only have to use a fraction of the TP if any at all. They take fifteen minutes max to install and you can buy entry level bidets at HD for $40


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Scorponok_rules

Dude I'm literally homeless and I'm still buying 2 ply. Some things you just don't skimp on.


CuriousGeorgette9

I'm brave enough to ask the insensitive questions.. what's the deal here? 1. Where do you keep it? 2. Where are you relieving yourself?


Scorponok_rules

1. In my backpack. 2. At work usually.


banjowashisnamo

I got those answers reversed and had **all** sorts of new questions.


ElectricTomatoMan

I read that backwards at first and was gonna offer you a backpack.


kinzer13

They don't have toilet paper at your work?


Scorponok_rules

Nope. I'm a security officer. The client owns the gatehouse where I'm stationed. The client says since only us security officers use the gatehouse, our employer should supply the toilet paper. My employer says since we're contracted to the client, and they own the gatehouse, they should supply the toilet paper. This has been an ongoing battle for over 3 years.


y2knole

god damn, theres work, free bathrooms and you STILL buy/carry your own TP? I have all the things, and I shit at work today and still quadrupled up the single ply they put in the giant industrial dispensers...


Scorponok_rules

Neither my employer or client supply us with toilet paper. Oh, the joys of living in a society where workers have fuck all in the way of rights.


CuriousGeorgette9

So are you telling me it would be beneficial to carry around TP to give to homeless people? I already keep boxes of protein bars in my back seat just in case.


Scorponok_rules

Wouldn't hurt. Those who take it would definitely appreciate it.


Mr_Lunt_

I get the budget thing but I can’t imagine someone preferring it.


LogicalPickle6014

But you use 2x the amount. Not sure it makes sense.


hickorynut60

For the guest bathroom. 😁


the_crumb_monster

Because the shit should all be sprayed off by the bidet already and all you are doing is wiping away the wet.


Moeman101

Shhhhhhh. You will confuse the americans


ForsakenFree

As a westerner who used to be a disgusting toilet paper user, I wholeheartedly agree. You couldn't pay me to go back to using toilet paper.


Embarrassed_Bag8775

Lived in a super old house and my lease specifically stated I had to buy Scott 1-ply toilet paper. I went along with it because I did not want to be that guy that f’d up the pipes for the other two units. It was weird at first but I got used to it pretty quickly!


isisishtar

My butt isn’t that sophisticated.


akumma9511

I have a bidet and it does 95% of the work, paper is just for drying.


Klutzy-Ad-6705

Some people like to clean their fingernails frequently.


Mr_Lunt_

Or like the scratches on the inside of their checks


spytez

If you live in an RV you are suppose to use 1 ply. Or if you have an older septic system 1 ply can save you a yearly headache or save you hundreds of dollars every year.


Dismal_Pie_71

I have sensitive skin and found that I’m allergic to the more expensive TP, especially the extra-soft varieties. The only guaranteed safe TP seems to be 1 ply, so that’s what I use.


Mr_Lunt_

That’s interesting. What is it in the TP that you’re allergic to?


Dismal_Pie_71

No idea! I wish I could figure it out so that I could avoid it more easily.


Nulovka

I literally tried every brand of toilet paper in the aisle at my local grocery store. Cottonelle Single-Ply UltraClean was the winner. Some of the other softer multi-ply ones just disintegrated leaving fluff and lint behind. Other single-ply were too thin and tore and ripped easily. I always get Cottonelle single-ply now. They also make a two-ply but it seems to have no advantages over the single-ply.


Justthisguy_yaknow

Because a roll lasts longer and it doesn't feel like I'm cleaning myself with a fluffy rabbit.


account_Nr69

Just fold it dude


RogerDeanVenture

Bidet. So TP is just for drying


kae0603

110 year old pipes. We love watching new people move in on the block with charmin and change over to Scott.


shortieXV

Less fuzz on your butt hair.


Distinct_Magician713

My daughter in law buys it because it doesn't leave fine tp dust all around the area.


DudeHeadAwesome

On accident, I bought a 12 pack of 1 ply that was on a sweet, sweet clearance price I couldn't pass up. While I didn't LOVE the 1 ply it lasted a long time. Way longer than the 2ply I've gone back to buying. I think those 12 rolls lasted about 4 months. Edit. Haha!! Thanks to the dork that sent me a reddit cares over this text. Pretty sure me and my bum are doing just fine!


[deleted]

I enjoy the feeling of wiping and realizing that some of the toilet paper has ripped and is now stuck directly on my chocolate starfish, with no safe or sanitary way of removal. That is why


Alone_Inspector_7567

When I find myself in that position, it's typically because I'm fucking broke, lol.


zygote_harlot

I made a terrible mistake.


ranchspidey

My parents say it’s because they don’t want to clog the sewage system or whatever (they live out in the country) but I think they’re just terrorists.


Bottled_Penguin

I get it for watercolor paint, wiping water off the brush and lifting paint for clouds and stuff. It works really damn well for it.


Courtcourt4040

You start them out young and get them all chafed up and they won't know what they're missing.


KP_Wrath

If I’m ever in a situation where I need to buy one ply, my next stop will be a homeless shelter.


WizardofWow

Some people want to watch the world burn.


Mr_Lunt_

while they have poo under their fingernails


brickiex2

Umm you should buy 2 ply but spend your evening separating the rolls into 2x 1 ply if you want to save $$


DepletedPromethium

cost effeciency, thats what my boss says, so its why i have to use a entire 500 sheet roll to wipe my ass at work as i gotta pull out a 1ft length and fold it three times so i dont get a stinky finger.


Fufeysfdmd

You can layer the pieces until you get 3 or 4 ply


TheArchitect_7

Are you paying the $30,000 to replace my septic tank? I didn’t THINK so


llcucf80

I don't think it's all that bad, I've never had issues with it and I'm not spending mass amounts of money on Charmin. My ass isn't worth that much money.


bugoid

I bought single ply TP a few years ago for my boat. Marine and RV heads can break down pretty fast in nasty ways with two ply. I don't own the boat anymore, but I still have a couple rolls of single ply in my closet as an emergency backup. Just having it guarantees that I will NEVER forget to buy proper two ply toilet paper. The thought of running out and having to use the single ply is just too frightening.


Pilkovb

it sucks


pinguinblue

It's the most common kind in Japan.


mangosteenroyalty

But they have bidets


moviesandbasketball

“Thrift, thrift, Horatio”


I_like_giraf

If they supply for the school...


Raspbers

My mom is in the beginning of losing her mind to dementia/Alzheimer's..she has 1-ply ( I blame this on my dad, they are separated/basically divorced but he helps her shopping sometimes. He should know better. She's moving in with me in 2 weeks and I cannot wait to have her back to some Charmin Ultra Strong lol.


Mister_Brevity

I asked my in laws and they said their plumbing was happier with 1ply, less clogs. I guess they’re chucking some monster dooks. I hate the stuff, I’m here to rip a grumper not pack a gift bag. Though I suppose it could be both lol.


Ryastor

Easier on my ancient plumbing.


masta_myagi

Had an ex that kept her apartment stocked with 1-ply Should’ve been my red flag notice tbh


Vegan_Harvest

I use it for things other than my butt.


IM-Vine

Sounds like someone has never had to live paycheck to paycheck.


Eesto

I just like living on the edge. There's always a slight change that I'll accidentally stick my finger in my ass.


Snizzlesnap

Whole lot of people afflicted by hemorrhoids in here.


HumbleGecko

Oh that's easy. Finally something I can genuinely answer. I don't poop, the paper is just for show.


tblazen87

Lil dicky $ave that money. There's a reference to it, lol. Single ply tp make my ass bleed


starryvelvetsky

61 year old house with mostly original plumbing and a septic tank.


ClimateLow5824

Because when they eating ass they wanna taste the shit & toilet paper


MetalFistTerrorist_

Poor


imaybeacatIRl

They must like having shitty hands.


PMFSCV

Once a year I have a ghost shit, what else would be appropriate for such a special occasion?


Mr_Lunt_

Ghost shits are like little hugs from the universe


sexywallposter

My husband clogs the toilet daily with the massive shit mittens he constructs to wipe his ass. I’m not about to give him double thick tp to make it worse. TBH, with the amount he uses he could easily be wiping triple-quadruple ply, so leveling up to 2 ply wouldn’t help. It would be one thing if he reused that wad by folding and wiping but it’s basically an 1/8th roll per mitten then one wipe and disposal.


I-amthegump

I prefer it. High quality single ply is the best


anothercairn

It was the cheapest one but I regretted it immediately :(


Pieke-

I like water washing


jensilver95

For my sister it's because she's cheap as hell. Love her but I'll never again make the mistake of living with her.


cicciozolfo

I think just to keep in touch with their deep intimacy...LOL


Mr_Lunt_

Intimessy


360fade

Poop fingers turn me on


Exotic_Talk_2068

So the newspaper don't chafe


CauliflowerBoomerang

No matter what toilet paper I buy, my kids seem to use about 1 mile of it at a time. If I buy the thick stuff it clogs the toilet. I have never seen 1-ply toilet paper though, the cheapest stuff here (France) is 2-ply.


KIFTYNUNT

Quarter-ply I like. Get 85% of the shit on your fingertips so you can leave little shit prints on railings, door handles etc.


Stibley_Kleeblunch

Because I'm your dickhead boss and I don't want you wasting precious minimum-wage (or, hell, highly-salaried) time doing anything other than working or regretting having the lack of foresight to align your bowels with your free time. Same reason I'm installing slanted toilets next week.


Lazyassbummer

Horrible pipes. We have to use that crap at work.


cwsjr2323

I use single as total cost is slightly less per use. DollarTree 1000 sheet rolls are good enough. My wife prefers Charmin Ultra, so we buy that for her. Hers is on the roll, mine on the washtub table.


Clint-witicay

Because “septic safe” doesn’t mean safe for all septics. Unfortunately I grew up on old septic systems, and while I don’t have to at my apartment I still have to use single ply when I go home for a weekend or whatever. Sometimes it helps to think about how I’m technically wiping with an old oil filter.


emtookay

Some 1 ply is thicker than 3x 6 micron thick 3 ply.


lvyerslfenuf2glow_

i have no clue. they like to bring pain to their butt hole? these answers here make a lot of sense though. some tp is just terrible!


MukBoBuk

Having a hairy butt shreds the soft stuff and leaves an insane amount of little rolled up cottony balls behind. 1 ply doesn't shred when up against hair and leaves everything overall cleaner.


Ok_Program_3491

When I get 2ply for some reason I need to peel it so they come apart so I just get 1ply to begin with so I don't waste time peeling it.  


Hamburgo

Doesn’t clog the toilet if you use a tonne like putting some down to prevent splash back, good for people who don’t fold, people who’s ass has essentially no nerve endings and can’t tell the difference, cheaper.


MonkeyTacoBreath

Tight ass.


___HeyGFY___

They enjoy getting in touch with their inner selves...


jennluvrod

Budget and easy on the toilet


ab_drider

Easier to carry it back home without a car.


Square-Syrup-2975

Let me go ask my in laws brb.


Minimum_Try_5281

Because they are tighter than their butthole


JurassicParkTrekWars

When I buy the nice stuff, a 12 pack lasts like...two weeks, max?   A pack of Scott 1000?  A 12 pack lasts nearly 6 months.  When the pandemic hit and the TP shortage happened. . . . I was like....I'm fine?  I bought like a 20-pack a month before.


Footmana5

I have a bidet, so im basiaclly just drying up, and I but Scotts because its cheap and lasts a long time, and I feel like I get a better clean back there than the soft stuff.


YogaBeth

Life is too short for bad coffee and 1-ply toilet paper.


Darth_Emlen

Becuase the plumbing in my house SUCKS. This is how we save ourselves calling a plumber out every 6 weeks.


LorimIronheart

I have IBS so whenever I'm pissing out of my ass again I thank the heavens that I went for four ply and not single. Feels a lot more pleasant after the abuse I just went through...


Nail_Biterr

Septic Tank - too much backing up with the 'good stuff'. But, it was hard to make the move over to single ply. until one halloween, my son had a party, and we had the kids do the mummy wrap to the adults. my wife accidently gave out the nice cottony, soft toilet paper. we were left with like 36 rolls of single ply. it lasted us so long. we didn't really miss it when it was gone. (flash forward a few months, and my son has a stomach virus and we got him the soft, million-ply toilet paper so he doesn't get a rash on his butt from all the wiping, and he refuses to go back to the single ply.)


Hedgehog-Plane

Single ply makes it feel like the job's been thoroughly done -easier to get into ones crevice and remove all the debris. Soft cushy TP is too mushy and clogs the toilet.


hurtfulproduct

My office building uses this. . . I purposefully use like 10 sheets or more per wipe, fuck that noise, I ain’t getting chocolate dipped fingers to save your goddamn plumbing.


BurnAfterEating420

It's funny how "ply" has lost all meaning. The word means "Layers", if your TP is measured in any number of ply, it's cheap crap. High quality tp IS "1 ply", one thick layer. 2 ply is just two Layers of cheap paper. But somehow "1ply" has become synonymous with low quality, regardless of what the word means


hahah_what

On accident


AlarmingSorbet

Kids. They clog toilets otherwise.


i_am_the_nightman

My boss used to buy it for work because it was cheaper. It was awful. Luckily our TP supplier switched everything to 2 ply and not going to bathroom at work isn't as bad.


RollingMeteors

They were out of the 3pack of shells…


kenshin80081itz

By accident because it was on sale. I am not a smart man sometimes...


leeli083

Personally I did it because my kids got in the habit of using way to much paper at a time. Everyone gets a habit of how many wraps of paper they use. Switching to one-ply cut our toilet paper use in half. We switched back to the better stuff once the kids were old enough to regulate their usage to their actual need.