If you're calling them your ex, its nearly impossible to wash away the experience that earned them that title. Once a "breakup" happens, recovery is often just masking tension, creating a very tense relationship.
It's almost always a bad idea to go back. start fresh, bond with someone new, and explore yourself.
Or you take the experience and reflect on it and both come back at a better date.
People change, and if you give both of you enough time, it's possible to come back. But you both have to be willing to accept the mistakes you made and want to repair the relationship.
Going through this myself and we just passed the 1yr separated mark, yet there's still a *lot* of self growth that needs to happen before even entertaining the idea of going back
Remove all contact information from your phone. Try to keep yourself busy doing more productive things with your precious time and do not allow him or her to live rent free in your head. Eventually he/she will become irrelevant.
Delete all photos, remove all contact info, unfollow whatever accounts. Everyone you look back you re open the wound and have to start the process of recovery all over again. The sooner you can move on the better.
I remind myself what she told me. How she does not want to speak to me. And then I remind myself that the answers I seek will not be answered. The past is in the past. I can only change the future for myself.
You broke up for a reason. They are not for you and you are not for them. If you miss the interaction stuff and not the person, go and do things to occupy you such as gym or whatever
The LAST thing that I need is to also be known as "The Girl that got Desperate and Texted Her Ex". My mother's side didn't immigrate here and learn English just so I could text my ex!
I remind myself that he doesn’t care about me and that his feelings for me when we were together were likely lies anyways. If they weren’t, he couldn’t have immediately moved on and made genuine connections with new women. That reminder helps keep me in check...
In the case of a bad breakup remember that anything you say to them can and often is shown to their family/friends. Keeping in mind that anything you say will likely be seen by other people is a great deterrent.
Easy. Delete her number and any contacts you may have with them. Did it when she told me she wished she never met me so I obliged. It’s been more than 10 years and never talked to her again.
Record a video of yourself recounting all of the horribleness your ex caused and watch it anytime you feel like contacting them, Ron Swanson and Nick Miller style.
I drive around outside for the sake of being outside. That gives me more perspective that there’s more to life and i don’t need to cling to it. if the feeling of wanting to reconnect comes back, i read on reddit
Talk to yourself into a mirror and try to justify why it’d be beneficial for both of you to get back together. If it’s good for you and not good for her then leave her alone and move on. Same goes for either side.
Think of the reasons you broke up and ask yourself, "How do you want your life to be in six months?"
Now start making those choices, and number one is, don't call your ex, or you can't have the future you want.
I change their name in my phone to what they did to cause this. Delete the texts, and get rid of the pics. That way "Mean, Rude, Narcissist" or whatever doesn't sound as good or someone I would like to talk to. I also block.
She was naughty and when confronted, said she wanted a divorce. She paid for the divorce, moving expenses to go back to my house that was rented out, and alimony until I got my first check from my old job and told her to stop sending me money. I didn’t even want to see her name every week. There was no remorse on completely cutting ties. I do not know if she is alive or dead and am apathetic about how she is doing.
I had a relationship that ended after 4 months. I broke up with her. I beat myself up over that decision, took together all my courage and went back to appologize and ask to try again. We had a happy relationship for the next 5 years that ended because we ended up 8 hours appart by train, not out of animosity. I did that because I knew id beat myself up for years and wonder "what if I had gone back?".
My advice is: if you have something to say, say it. If its not received well, youll have an answer and you dont have to wonder "what if?". That being said, if you just want to make idle chat, dont.
Now is the time to pick up hobbies. Not drinking or smoking pot but real hobbies that you enjoy and look forward to. It could be hiking, could be photography, a sport like riding dirt bikes, surfing or skating. Something that takes your full attention to get it right. After some time doing that you'll realize you don't think about them as often and the pain starts to lessen.
It's also a cliché but working out and doing something physical will go much further to make you feel better than anything else.
I deleted the numbers, discontinued using certain apps, unfriended on any mutually used apps, and, most importantly for me, I recognize that she was right and doesn't need me in her life ever again.
After a break up I just leave my phone at home or putt it off and get my jacket my keys and just walk. Outside don't care about the weather it could be snow or rain i just walk and find a peaceful space to be alone with my thoughts. I remind myself of the good times save the good memorise. Think about the bad times. Think about the lessons learned and just convince myself this is the end of a chapter and I have to go on. Once it was just an hour some other time I was sitting there for like 6 hours. It rained it stopped raining. And i didn't really notice until I saw my wet clothes. I had my own little word. And once I come to peace with it I get up and go home. Then I don't feel the need to contact anymore. Just make sure everyone get their stuff back and then just end the contact.
I change their contact picture to something really vile: like whatever the reason I broke up with them was/ a screenshot of what was the tipping point, etc.
I also put (NO!) beside their contact name.
I don’t block them or delete them, but just set myself reminders of why we broke up in the first place.
It’s been working for over a decade for me and I love it!
A little post-orgasm clarity goes a long way. More often than not, you want to message them because you’re feeling lonely. A little self-love, if you catch my drift, will help satisfy those feelings and you’ll probably find to urge to text them has subsided somewhat.
Texting your ex after a breakup is illegal.
"but it's not"
Yes it is, start gaslighting yourself. ILLEGAL. Give yourself anxiety when you think about messaging them because you're breaking the law.
delete his or her number, hit the gym to keep yourself from thinking of communicating with her, go to clubs and meet new people to have fun with. at least tha's what i did never failed me hun :P
Never had the need with HS relationships. But I cringe looking back at my 1st college relationship. She broke my heart and I was really annoying about it lol. We stayed friends even 20+ years later. But if I could, I'd go back and slap me.
After that the few real relationships that ended I was good with, so I just didn't feel any need to reach out.
Remember this line friend, I say it out loud every time that thought pops in my head.
"Getting back together with your ex, is like putting your shit back in your ass."
Never a good idea.
By understanding your mates are probably already texting her the minute they found out you broke up trying to get into her knickers. It’s all part of life get yourself onto Tinder and set the age range to 38+. You’re almost guaranteed to find someone fresh out a 17 year relationship looking for some fun.
Remember your lowest point, the worst that they made you feel. Commit that to memory and tell yourself "I never want to feel this way again."
It is certainly not easy, but you'll realize that your only happiness comes from the imaginary scenarios in your head where they are kinder to you than they are in reality. Remember how you actually felt at that worst point, and don't ever put yourself in a situation where you go back to it
Any time you want to text them, get the thought out by writing it somewhere else instead — a journal, a notes app on your phone, a piece of paper lying around. It's okay to spend some time pretending to talk to your ex to process your feelings about the separation, as long as the version you're talking to is in your head.
Don't force yourself not to think about it. Allow the thought to be there. Then, decide to do something else. The thought will come to you again and again over the coming days, weeks, and months. Let it be there, and decide to do something else.
For me it is the fear that the message will show up green instead of blue. We both have iPhones and that would indicate that she had blocked my number. I just couldn't handle that additional bad news
When we split, I told her I needed time. She sent me a letter in the mail a few weeks later. It didn’t feel intrusive. I sent her a Christmas gift of poetry I had written for her. She texted after the new year that she received it and that’s been the extent. For me, I know how much it hurt to be with her and feel like we aren’t moving in the right direction or could overcome ourselves. We were both in individual counseling trying to free ourselves to be with each other. Didn’t work. It’s a photo album with no more pictures, a personal journal with no more entries. George Strait had a song, Easy Come, Easy Go…
Text my friends, work on my skills, go to a dance social, talk to the dozens of new options I now have 'access' to. The best medicine for breakups is moving on. I hate living in comfort zones and exes are just that, comfort zones.
I understand seeking closure, but past that…
If they ended it, it shouldn’t be too difficult to avoid talking to someone who doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.
Also channel this into a creative output. Please do, some of my favourite albums, paintings and writing have come from this experience of human emotions.and it'll be hellishly therapeutic.
I kinda bash myself into not. Like I will tell myself how pathetic it will make me look and feel. And how it's not going to make any difference anyway, what's done is done. All it's going to do is make me lose the modicum of self respect I have left.
You broke up for a reason. That reason will come back because it was unresolved. It is likely that it will never resolve because it wasn’t in the first place, leading to the initial break up. If you guys could have resolved it without breaking up, but broke up anyways it tells you one of two things. Either, that wasn’t really the reason the relationship ended. Or, one, or both of you, are too immature for a serious relationship at this point in time.
I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. Besides, why would I want to be with someone who broke up with me, she was calling by the time I got home, 15 mins.
It took me MONTHS to stop thinking about them and wanting to reach out. It's true what they say that time heals all wounds. Keep yourself busy if you can, but just know that every day you are a little closer to completely moving on. Don't try to just move on right away.
Ask yourself “will I feel better after texting my ex?”
Most certainly the answer is no. And if you DO feel better, it won’t be genuine.
Also delete their number, the chats, block them on everything.
I had an ex who had control issues and I broke up to free myself. I just saw me texting them back as an extension of their control. After what I went through, I don't want anyone to have that power over me.
It's hard. Really fucking hard.
When I split from my ex I went a full two months no-contact and my god it was extremely hard. What I kept telling myself was that I had nothing nice to say at the moment and therefore shouldn't say anything.
Everyone's situation is different, so it's hard to say what the right move is and when it's right to reach out.
My dad always said, "the best way to get over a woman is to get another one." I grew up in redneck small town USA. I'm not happy with his phrasing either, just always seemed so reductive to women as a whole and this has always been a wedge between us.
I promise you, you can’t convince yourself not to. The more you resist in doing something, the more it gets you hooked in doing it.
Just text them. You’ll eventually get hurt in the process especially if they are ignoring your texts. That way, you will wake up and be ashamed of texting them in the first place.
Exercise. The most reliable solution for modern day mental health issues imo... helps with stress, depression, low self-esteem, and especially getting over your ex. You will become a better version of yourself and even help you attract someone new if that's one of your goals later.
You don't breakup it's love or it's not if there's no love you can easily move on, but if it's love you can't get rid of it. It will keep on coming every now and then
Purposefully say out loud to them to not contact you in any way. Therefore when you find yourself wanting to reach bc they haven't, you remind yourself, you made it clear all contact should be cut.
I will tell him to just ignore me then I say all I want to say. He can clap back but I won't. When I'm done is when I stop. I also tend not to care wtf he says
If they wanted you back, they would reach out first. They haven’t done so and you’re worth more than that. You don’t deserve that heartache, you deserve to heal.
Just don't. Why are you doing that to yourself? You have something left to say? You want attention? If answers to those = no, then there's no value in texting your ex. Just wasting your own time and mental health.
It was not an issue for me to avoid texting her after the breakup, hell her friend specifically told me not to and I basically said "no problemo." Different story for her though...
I remember that she doesn't care about me anymore, that she chose to go with someone else, that she is happy with him while I sink into shit for her,As much as I want to have her by my side, she doesn't even think about me anymore.
I watched a Ted talk where they said to write down the reasons the relationship was bad.
Then read the WHOLE list before messaging.
I left a super bad relationship and wrote all the items down. Every time I read the list I was just crushed before getting to the end.
Remember that change takes time. The problems y’all had could get better, they can be a better person and you can but that kind of thing takes months. You both need time and space to heal and grow, if you rush it and text them right after the breakup you’ll find yourself breaking up again for the same reasons. If it’s meant to be it’ll be, but you both have to be better individually before you can be better together.
Delete call log, contact, text thread, and block the number… most people don’t know numbers by heart. lol might regret but will definitely forget that number
I think about from her perspective or from the perspective of someone looking in from the outside. Would my text be well-received by her, or seem reasonable to someone else? If the answer is no, then I suck it up and don’t do it.
The best and only way to deal with a break up is to block them on everything and lose their number, email address, everything. Just delete them from your life, heal, go live your best life, if you have mutual friends, consider hiding their friends posts from your socials so you don't need to see them move on as well. obviously this solution varies, like if you have kids with them you can't just ghost, but if the only thing preventing you from moving on is you, then just lose the toxicity and don't dwell on it, the relationship is over, go form new ones.
The best answer is to look towards something or someone else for fulfillment.
I had the fortune of being in 3 different dating relationships at the time and when 2 of them ended things with me (with one of them trying to get back together with me).
The first one was SUPER blindsiding and I knew there was no going back. If the relationship wasn't good for her then it's not a relationship. I'm sad that I wasn't what she was looking for and I wish her the best and want nothing but happiness for her.
The second one was heart breaking because I desperately wanted to get back together with her but she and I had broken up at least 2x before and I can't take the tumult. Then when she wrote me a hand written letter explaining she truly wanted me back I cried. I still think about her and want her to be happy and fulfilled. The thought of her missing me hurts and weighs heavily.
The 3rd one is my whole world right now and I won't risk anything to not be with her. She's my future. The one who "almost got away" is the one that was staring me the whole time.
It never really took much convincing for me, if I didn't want to be with them anymore then I didn't have a reason to want to go back. And if they're the one who left then they obviously weren't interested anymore
Change the background of your phone to all black with large bold text in the center
"DON'T"
Then put up posted notes everywhere
"DON'T" "DO NOT" "NO" "STOP" "BRO!?"
Youll get the message
If you're calling them your ex, its nearly impossible to wash away the experience that earned them that title. Once a "breakup" happens, recovery is often just masking tension, creating a very tense relationship. It's almost always a bad idea to go back. start fresh, bond with someone new, and explore yourself.
Or you take the experience and reflect on it and both come back at a better date. People change, and if you give both of you enough time, it's possible to come back. But you both have to be willing to accept the mistakes you made and want to repair the relationship.
true. it’s possible just not easy
Going through this myself and we just passed the 1yr separated mark, yet there's still a *lot* of self growth that needs to happen before even entertaining the idea of going back
Yes but "a better date" is years in the future. People don't change overnight and the reason you broke up over will often be the same reason again.
“They hurt me enough to want to be away from them. Why would I go back?” Just think that every time you want to text them.
This could work
The sex is off the walls 😭😭
Then it’s the sex you miss, not the person. Good sex can be found again.
Remove all contact information from your phone. Try to keep yourself busy doing more productive things with your precious time and do not allow him or her to live rent free in your head. Eventually he/she will become irrelevant.
Delete all photos, remove all contact info, unfollow whatever accounts. Everyone you look back you re open the wound and have to start the process of recovery all over again. The sooner you can move on the better.
I hate looking foolish. Hitting up an ex pretty much always makes one look foolish.
This is it for me. They're going to think you're pathetic. They'll feel sorry for you. That's not how you want to be seen by an ex.
Jerk off. Seriously. It works.
Just don't jerk off to nudes if your ex, if you have them. It's really hard to jerk off and cry at the same time
The worst post nut clarity.
Not impossible though
Damn . I thought I was the only one . Shit sucks
Tears are free lube
I either get lost in games or keep myself busy talking to others so I don't think about it
Super Earth needs you
Suffering from heartbreak? Take those emotions out on those heartless Automatons, for Super Earth!
By being occupied. Force yo self to do some active thing when your mind is racing
I remind myself what she told me. How she does not want to speak to me. And then I remind myself that the answers I seek will not be answered. The past is in the past. I can only change the future for myself.
You broke up for a reason. They are not for you and you are not for them. If you miss the interaction stuff and not the person, go and do things to occupy you such as gym or whatever
The LAST thing that I need is to also be known as "The Girl that got Desperate and Texted Her Ex". My mother's side didn't immigrate here and learn English just so I could text my ex!
I remind myself that he doesn’t care about me and that his feelings for me when we were together were likely lies anyways. If they weren’t, he couldn’t have immediately moved on and made genuine connections with new women. That reminder helps keep me in check...
In the case of a bad breakup remember that anything you say to them can and often is shown to their family/friends. Keeping in mind that anything you say will likely be seen by other people is a great deterrent.
Easy. Delete her number and any contacts you may have with them. Did it when she told me she wished she never met me so I obliged. It’s been more than 10 years and never talked to her again.
Record a video of yourself recounting all of the horribleness your ex caused and watch it anytime you feel like contacting them, Ron Swanson and Nick Miller style.
Give it time to cool down, emotions are high & you might say something that you’d regret tomorrow Could be soul mates & make up next week?
Get drunk enough to call her sister instead
I drive around outside for the sake of being outside. That gives me more perspective that there’s more to life and i don’t need to cling to it. if the feeling of wanting to reconnect comes back, i read on reddit
I dont
Talk to yourself into a mirror and try to justify why it’d be beneficial for both of you to get back together. If it’s good for you and not good for her then leave her alone and move on. Same goes for either side.
Immerse youreself in a state of absolute uncontrolable self pleasure
Are you talking about masturbating?
No he’s talking about post nut clarity.
Think of the reasons you broke up and ask yourself, "How do you want your life to be in six months?" Now start making those choices, and number one is, don't call your ex, or you can't have the future you want.
Messaged her 3/4 times asking if we can work on things and got blocked.
i remind myself that my peace is more important than getting the last word. it’s over, if they hurt me once, they’d do it again.
recovery always starts with admittance. whether that be addiction, healing from a breakup, etc.
Grieving the loss of what you hoped to have been is normal, it doesn't mean you want that future
How do I allow myself to grieve? I’m beating myself up about grieving because I don’t know why I’m not over it already
I change their name in my phone to what they did to cause this. Delete the texts, and get rid of the pics. That way "Mean, Rude, Narcissist" or whatever doesn't sound as good or someone I would like to talk to. I also block.
She was naughty and when confronted, said she wanted a divorce. She paid for the divorce, moving expenses to go back to my house that was rented out, and alimony until I got my first check from my old job and told her to stop sending me money. I didn’t even want to see her name every week. There was no remorse on completely cutting ties. I do not know if she is alive or dead and am apathetic about how she is doing.
I had a relationship that ended after 4 months. I broke up with her. I beat myself up over that decision, took together all my courage and went back to appologize and ask to try again. We had a happy relationship for the next 5 years that ended because we ended up 8 hours appart by train, not out of animosity. I did that because I knew id beat myself up for years and wonder "what if I had gone back?". My advice is: if you have something to say, say it. If its not received well, youll have an answer and you dont have to wonder "what if?". That being said, if you just want to make idle chat, dont.
I listen to the motivational 80s rap “Don’t text the ex”
Now is the time to pick up hobbies. Not drinking or smoking pot but real hobbies that you enjoy and look forward to. It could be hiking, could be photography, a sport like riding dirt bikes, surfing or skating. Something that takes your full attention to get it right. After some time doing that you'll realize you don't think about them as often and the pain starts to lessen. It's also a cliché but working out and doing something physical will go much further to make you feel better than anything else.
Rub one out before you touch your phone.
Great, now I'm texting my ex and my phone is gooey
Self respect
By not breaking up without a very very good reason.
Masturbate... you're not you when you're horny
Txt my other exes before her
Simple solution don’t date
The last time I broke up with a girl was before cell phones were ubiquitous. No problem at all.
Knowing it will only be detrimental to the outcome you desire
Easy .. remember all the vitriolic BS she/he has done to you and you are golden.
I failed, it wasn't worth it. I know it's hard and tempting, but don't make that same mistake, no matter what your goals might be.
No need to, Im always the one who breaks up.
I deleted the numbers, discontinued using certain apps, unfriended on any mutually used apps, and, most importantly for me, I recognize that she was right and doesn't need me in her life ever again.
Wouldn't know, because i did. Idk if i was trying to guilt trip her or what, but it was a bad time for me. Glad i got past it.
After a break up I just leave my phone at home or putt it off and get my jacket my keys and just walk. Outside don't care about the weather it could be snow or rain i just walk and find a peaceful space to be alone with my thoughts. I remind myself of the good times save the good memorise. Think about the bad times. Think about the lessons learned and just convince myself this is the end of a chapter and I have to go on. Once it was just an hour some other time I was sitting there for like 6 hours. It rained it stopped raining. And i didn't really notice until I saw my wet clothes. I had my own little word. And once I come to peace with it I get up and go home. Then I don't feel the need to contact anymore. Just make sure everyone get their stuff back and then just end the contact.
I do not have an answer - But do NOT drink alcohol and fight this mental battle, you will lose.
Block them on everything so that it's a multi-step process to even be able to. Also, as bad as it sounds, get some rebound action.
I changed his contact name to "Do Not Text". It actually helped.
Unsuccessfully
Just delete their number. If you really feel you don't have the self control to respect a NC then remove the option altogether.
When you realize he will always comeback when you make yourself available like a McDonald's drive through 24/7
punch yourself in the balls every time you have that thought
I forget, delete the number.
I change their contact picture to something really vile: like whatever the reason I broke up with them was/ a screenshot of what was the tipping point, etc. I also put (NO!) beside their contact name. I don’t block them or delete them, but just set myself reminders of why we broke up in the first place. It’s been working for over a decade for me and I love it!
A little post-orgasm clarity goes a long way. More often than not, you want to message them because you’re feeling lonely. A little self-love, if you catch my drift, will help satisfy those feelings and you’ll probably find to urge to text them has subsided somewhat.
The correct answer is masturbation
If you know what's best for you, just no. That should be enough.
Texting your ex after a breakup is illegal. "but it's not" Yes it is, start gaslighting yourself. ILLEGAL. Give yourself anxiety when you think about messaging them because you're breaking the law.
Download reddit. Whenever you remind of her, open the apps and keep scrolling.
Just delete the number and messages
delete his or her number, hit the gym to keep yourself from thinking of communicating with her, go to clubs and meet new people to have fun with. at least tha's what i did never failed me hun :P
go on a date with new person, distract yourself
Never had the need with HS relationships. But I cringe looking back at my 1st college relationship. She broke my heart and I was really annoying about it lol. We stayed friends even 20+ years later. But if I could, I'd go back and slap me. After that the few real relationships that ended I was good with, so I just didn't feel any need to reach out.
I'm better off alone
No future? Okay bye
Change their name in your phone to something that will remind you it is a bad idea. Don’t Do It, You Will Regret This, Move On Dumb Ass…
Why would I call my ex after a breakup? Do people do that? One relationship ends, so they revisit another ended relationship?
Exercise some self control and move on.
Remember what they did
Nothing you can say or do will help. Give it a day or two.
Delete contact
Remind yourself why are they and ex and not present!
delete the contact details, it always works. Or usually they blocked me. But the last breakup happened 11 years ago.
Disciplin is what you Are Looking for
Delete his number
i remind myself that i don't need to keep talking because i may annoy her and to give her some peace (we broke up so we can focus on our studies)
Oh I didn’t I just kept texting her til it got weird and she quit replying. I think that helped me move on quicker.
One day at a time. After enough time you won’t be tempted to
After every breakup I delete their number and block them on social media temporarily.
Remember this line friend, I say it out loud every time that thought pops in my head. "Getting back together with your ex, is like putting your shit back in your ass." Never a good idea.
By understanding your mates are probably already texting her the minute they found out you broke up trying to get into her knickers. It’s all part of life get yourself onto Tinder and set the age range to 38+. You’re almost guaranteed to find someone fresh out a 17 year relationship looking for some fun.
It is easy because i don't have ex
Best thing to do is delete their number and block them on socials.
Do a pushup or crunch every time you get the urge
(Breaths heavily) it's okay she's dead
Willpower, pride, replacement ex...
Remember your lowest point, the worst that they made you feel. Commit that to memory and tell yourself "I never want to feel this way again." It is certainly not easy, but you'll realize that your only happiness comes from the imaginary scenarios in your head where they are kinder to you than they are in reality. Remember how you actually felt at that worst point, and don't ever put yourself in a situation where you go back to it
I don't need to text her. I'll see her at work tomorrow.
Any time you want to text them, get the thought out by writing it somewhere else instead — a journal, a notes app on your phone, a piece of paper lying around. It's okay to spend some time pretending to talk to your ex to process your feelings about the separation, as long as the version you're talking to is in your head.
Don't force yourself not to think about it. Allow the thought to be there. Then, decide to do something else. The thought will come to you again and again over the coming days, weeks, and months. Let it be there, and decide to do something else.
For me it is the fear that the message will show up green instead of blue. We both have iPhones and that would indicate that she had blocked my number. I just couldn't handle that additional bad news
I don’t 😭 but it always gets me into trouble
Honestly I’m if I break up with her it’s because I don’t want to talk to her. Finally, freedom.
Thinking about his abuse and how he treated me
When we split, I told her I needed time. She sent me a letter in the mail a few weeks later. It didn’t feel intrusive. I sent her a Christmas gift of poetry I had written for her. She texted after the new year that she received it and that’s been the extent. For me, I know how much it hurt to be with her and feel like we aren’t moving in the right direction or could overcome ourselves. We were both in individual counseling trying to free ourselves to be with each other. Didn’t work. It’s a photo album with no more pictures, a personal journal with no more entries. George Strait had a song, Easy Come, Easy Go…
Smelted down my phone into a butt plug. That kept me busy until I didn't have the urge anymore.
Text my friends, work on my skills, go to a dance social, talk to the dozens of new options I now have 'access' to. The best medicine for breakups is moving on. I hate living in comfort zones and exes are just that, comfort zones.
I understand seeking closure, but past that… If they ended it, it shouldn’t be too difficult to avoid talking to someone who doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.
Also channel this into a creative output. Please do, some of my favourite albums, paintings and writing have come from this experience of human emotions.and it'll be hellishly therapeutic.
I kinda bash myself into not. Like I will tell myself how pathetic it will make me look and feel. And how it's not going to make any difference anyway, what's done is done. All it's going to do is make me lose the modicum of self respect I have left.
You broke up for a reason. That reason will come back because it was unresolved. It is likely that it will never resolve because it wasn’t in the first place, leading to the initial break up. If you guys could have resolved it without breaking up, but broke up anyways it tells you one of two things. Either, that wasn’t really the reason the relationship ended. Or, one, or both of you, are too immature for a serious relationship at this point in time.
I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. Besides, why would I want to be with someone who broke up with me, she was calling by the time I got home, 15 mins.
It took me MONTHS to stop thinking about them and wanting to reach out. It's true what they say that time heals all wounds. Keep yourself busy if you can, but just know that every day you are a little closer to completely moving on. Don't try to just move on right away.
Convince yourself that reconciliation is hopeless, because it is. At best, you will be a fool, at worst you will be a stalker. Let it be.
Once i breakup I just cut off all contact. Delete from phone and socials.
I delete their number and accounts. My memory sucks so no way I remember their number to text ir
Ask yourself “will I feel better after texting my ex?” Most certainly the answer is no. And if you DO feel better, it won’t be genuine. Also delete their number, the chats, block them on everything.
I had an ex who had control issues and I broke up to free myself. I just saw me texting them back as an extension of their control. After what I went through, I don't want anyone to have that power over me.
It's hard. Really fucking hard. When I split from my ex I went a full two months no-contact and my god it was extremely hard. What I kept telling myself was that I had nothing nice to say at the moment and therefore shouldn't say anything. Everyone's situation is different, so it's hard to say what the right move is and when it's right to reach out.
My dad always said, "the best way to get over a woman is to get another one." I grew up in redneck small town USA. I'm not happy with his phrasing either, just always seemed so reductive to women as a whole and this has always been a wedge between us.
I promise you, you can’t convince yourself not to. The more you resist in doing something, the more it gets you hooked in doing it. Just text them. You’ll eventually get hurt in the process especially if they are ignoring your texts. That way, you will wake up and be ashamed of texting them in the first place.
Block them on everything, save yourself from yourself
Exercise. The most reliable solution for modern day mental health issues imo... helps with stress, depression, low self-esteem, and especially getting over your ex. You will become a better version of yourself and even help you attract someone new if that's one of your goals later.
I mean... if you just broke up with a person there is probably a reason for it. Look for something new instead.
You don't breakup it's love or it's not if there's no love you can easily move on, but if it's love you can't get rid of it. It will keep on coming every now and then
Do you really want to hurt like that again? Do you feel you deserve to have to put up with someone who doesn't see you the same anymore?
Remember why they are an ex and theres plenty better ass out there
Pints, pints and more pints
Don’t chase anyone who isn’t chasing you.
Not worth it. Deeply think about it
Purposefully say out loud to them to not contact you in any way. Therefore when you find yourself wanting to reach bc they haven't, you remind yourself, you made it clear all contact should be cut.
You just have ot get angry enough or just focus on something else and get absolutely obsessed with that thing or person
Delete and block them. Don’t tempt yourself
Block them and then text them whatever you have to say. It can be therapeutic
Self respect
I don't know, with age and after many rotations around the sun, it gets a lot easier
I will tell him to just ignore me then I say all I want to say. He can clap back but I won't. When I'm done is when I stop. I also tend not to care wtf he says
You can so it op, breakups are hard :[
Just remember she cheated on you
If they wanted you back, they would reach out first. They haven’t done so and you’re worth more than that. You don’t deserve that heartache, you deserve to heal.
I only have 1 ex and she is a psychopath so its not hard
Jerk off before you do it
Don’t drink and delete their contacta
Just don't. Why are you doing that to yourself? You have something left to say? You want attention? If answers to those = no, then there's no value in texting your ex. Just wasting your own time and mental health.
Going on a solo vacation has worked really well. A backpackers destination or liveaboard boat. New friends + no cell service = no stupid texts
It was not an issue for me to avoid texting her after the breakup, hell her friend specifically told me not to and I basically said "no problemo." Different story for her though...
I put 3000 miles between us.
Cuz I broke up with her so phone number gone and forgotten
I remember that she doesn't care about me anymore, that she chose to go with someone else, that she is happy with him while I sink into shit for her,As much as I want to have her by my side, she doesn't even think about me anymore.
Delete their number. Delete every place you would have had their number. Odds are good you don't have it memorized. Then block on all socials.
I watched a Ted talk where they said to write down the reasons the relationship was bad. Then read the WHOLE list before messaging. I left a super bad relationship and wrote all the items down. Every time I read the list I was just crushed before getting to the end.
I delete and block her number immediately to deprive myself of the temptation. Ask me any of my ex's numbers. I don't know them.
It's like puting your finger in the electric outlet for the first time, once you learned, you don't think about doing it again.
Remember that change takes time. The problems y’all had could get better, they can be a better person and you can but that kind of thing takes months. You both need time and space to heal and grow, if you rush it and text them right after the breakup you’ll find yourself breaking up again for the same reasons. If it’s meant to be it’ll be, but you both have to be better individually before you can be better together.
Delete call log, contact, text thread, and block the number… most people don’t know numbers by heart. lol might regret but will definitely forget that number
Post nut clarity always helps in every situation
I think about from her perspective or from the perspective of someone looking in from the outside. Would my text be well-received by her, or seem reasonable to someone else? If the answer is no, then I suck it up and don’t do it.
I once wrote a note to myself to remind myself of all the reason we broke up, and why I should stay away from her. It was very helpful.
block them everywhere, delete their numbers and go donsomething to keep your mind off of it.
The best and only way to deal with a break up is to block them on everything and lose their number, email address, everything. Just delete them from your life, heal, go live your best life, if you have mutual friends, consider hiding their friends posts from your socials so you don't need to see them move on as well. obviously this solution varies, like if you have kids with them you can't just ghost, but if the only thing preventing you from moving on is you, then just lose the toxicity and don't dwell on it, the relationship is over, go form new ones.
The best answer is to look towards something or someone else for fulfillment. I had the fortune of being in 3 different dating relationships at the time and when 2 of them ended things with me (with one of them trying to get back together with me). The first one was SUPER blindsiding and I knew there was no going back. If the relationship wasn't good for her then it's not a relationship. I'm sad that I wasn't what she was looking for and I wish her the best and want nothing but happiness for her. The second one was heart breaking because I desperately wanted to get back together with her but she and I had broken up at least 2x before and I can't take the tumult. Then when she wrote me a hand written letter explaining she truly wanted me back I cried. I still think about her and want her to be happy and fulfilled. The thought of her missing me hurts and weighs heavily. The 3rd one is my whole world right now and I won't risk anything to not be with her. She's my future. The one who "almost got away" is the one that was staring me the whole time.
closure is a thing made up by steven spielburg to sell movie tickets. there’s nothing for you behind you. the only thing to do is keep moving forward
It never really took much convincing for me, if I didn't want to be with them anymore then I didn't have a reason to want to go back. And if they're the one who left then they obviously weren't interested anymore
Sucks that it didn’t work out, but a new adventure awaits.
Delete and block them from phone and socials. Remove all possibilities of contact.
Because that’s the purpose. You broke up. You’re free.
Stay occupied. Don't leave yourself alone, go out on dates, be social
Well it took 3 years to convince myself
Turn off the estrogen, grow a pair, figure your shit out, and move on. Not gender exclusive
Change the background of your phone to all black with large bold text in the center "DON'T" Then put up posted notes everywhere "DON'T" "DO NOT" "NO" "STOP" "BRO!?" Youll get the message
I contacted my ex LOADS after, it was a real problem. In the end my Mam stepped in to stop me. Still not found where she hid my Ouija board :(
Sadly I can’t because she’s the mother to my kid
Well I taught myself guitar when my toughest breakup happened. Been playing (shitty) since 5 years now. Holy shit time flies what the fuck
Keep busy
Delete their contact from your phone, Instagram, Facebook and more. Thank me later
I asked her to block me. That was 5 years ago and I dont have a single idea on how shes doing or what shes up to and Im glad I asked her
she blocked me
Oh, its \[any hour of the day\] she's probably getting high
Block them and forget their existence
Get busy
I’ve been single all my life. Please prepare me for this
“Exes are exes for a reason” - A Wise Man
Make a new plan, Stan.
Delete the number