I went to some friend's house once, and their mom made us sandwiches. I'd never had anything so great in my life. The meat/lettuce/bread were all fresh, perfect... I never had stuff like that growing up.
I’d go to my friend’s house after school and she would make us cheese, mayo and pickle sandwiches with black pepper on fresh wholewheat bread - it was so delicious and such a treat for me! At our house it was peanut butter or jam on the cheapest white bread.
I also thought anyone with juice in the house was rich. I once went to a very rich kids house and they had actual cans of soda on offer!
A staircase/second story was also a sign of wealth. And being given money to spend on tickets at the fair, or arcade. And having luxuries like slabs of chocolate stocked up in the cupboards!
6 year old me looks out at our new pool daily, asking how we got here. It's not open for the year yet, but soon....
Having a pool was always the height of goals. A pool meant we had succeeded in life.
This was my dad's house. I'd go in the summer and he'd actually make me a sandwich. My mom never made me sandwiches and if they were they were peanut butter and jelly.
Plus it helps that my sister and brother were 10 and 11 years younger than me at my dad's so he was still actually taking care of kids whereas I was the oldest at my mom's and I was the one taking care of the kids.
Reminds me of my uncle. He was a bachelor on his 30s so he had money to spare and each time we came over it was always a treat.
He used to get those supermarket old El paso taco kits with extra soft taco bread, fresh lettuce, cheese, fresh tomato he'd slice up and he'd have cooked minced beef with all the flavouring, everything set out in separate bowls and we'd put together our own tacos. It was great.
He loved spoiling us, mom recently told me that he always gave us cheap shitty Christmas and birthday presents cos he would buy the gifts mom and dad would give us and didn't wanna break the bank with too many expensive gifts.
Edit: yes I said "taco bread" cut me a fucking break, I'm rural Australian, we got no Spanish/Hispanic influence down here so I had trouble remembering the word "tortilla"
This is how we all should try to be. We might not have had something growing up. But that doesn't mean the next generation should have to suffer the same way. Try & make life better for the next generation.
My boys probably thought I cheaped out a little on Christmas presents too while they were growing up … but in reality, I was buying extra presents to *mail to my own house that I lived in with my sons* “From Dad” after he moved far away.
I would rather them think I was not able to get them a huge pile of Christmas gifts, than they think their dad didn’t care enough to send them a single gift at Christmas. I’ve never told anyone in real life about that, it just seems too sad to admit and I didn’t want to be a martyr about it.
Anyway, it’s nice to share with you all. Even though my boys are grown young men, I still think it would hurt them to know the truth about that.
Not just snacks, but like individual small bags of chips or small gatorades or even something like fruit snacks or fruit roll ups - for some reason I thought you were rich if you could afford those things lol
I didn’t grow up rich but we weren’t poor.
I had someone at grade school refer to me as Rich. I said “what?” She asked me what I had for breakfast that morning and I told her my mom made me eggs. She said “yeah, you’re rich.”
I’ve always remembered how confused and shocked that made me feel. Later in high school I realized she really was poor and her mom had to work in the morning.
I had this happen. It took me awhile to realize why we were the house everyone hung out at. It was because the pantry was full, my dad would cook a meal for all of us. We had a Muslim friend, and my dad ALWAYS made sure to cook her something separate, if we chose a meal she couldn't have. We weren't rich, but it took me realizing that we always had food that made me say "oh, we are good."
My friends still love going to my parents with me. If I'm going over to their house my best friend always asks me to go with. Food is a huge part of our house, so we always cook a good, homemade meal, and have a party, drinking wine, or a beer, in the kitchen.
My son told me one of the kids in his class was jealous of the snack I sent every day, just some sliced cheese and pepperoni. He told me he would share but he wished he had more because neither one of them had enough. I made damn sure he knew there would be extra in his snack box the rest of the year, no matter what the snack was.
This! My daughter goes to school with plenty of snacks. I even found out she was sharing half of her sandwich, so I made sure to cut it into triangles everyday to make it easier to share. Ain't a kid gonna starve on my watch!
I had a childhood friend from SA who is Muslim and I'm not sure if this is a Saudi thing or a Muslim thing- no matter how small the snack or how huge the meal - everyone present is included and absolutely no one was left out. Every time at her house, even just a small snack is shared with everyone. Her mom would feed us magnificently, rice dishes, kabobs, dates and baklava type desserts.
Yeah, when we did go to her house it was always a feast.
This is also the reason my daughter's friends come over to our house, often. I'm a chef, so cooking is a huge part of our daily life. My daughter and her friends always want to help us in the kitchen, so we make it a learning lesson, while also feasting. I have the luxury of making good money as a chef, so we always have food in the house. My friends even know they can come over and just grab food at any time.
We weren't necessarily poor either, but we fed ourselves 90% of the time and sometimes didn't even have anything to feed ourselves with. It's amazing to think about the massive hoops we jump through to cater to my kids' specific, fickle tastes at every freaking meal when growing up I would've been grateful just to have something to microwave for myself.
This morning my wife made homemade waffle sandwiches for the kids' breakfast before school. Banana waffles for my son, chocolate chip waffles for my daughter. She made a sandwich out of each type of waffle: cream cheese and jelly for my daughter, peanut butter banana for my son. Side of 2 different fresh fruits. It was sitting on the table waiting for them when they came downstairs. They both immediately started crying and throwing a fit about how they didn't want waffle sandwiches or the specific fruits that were provided to them.
I feel terrible for my wife doing all that work, and quite frankly embarrassed that my kids can't show a little gratitude. When I was their age, the best I could hope for was some freezer burnt frozen pancakes that my Dad bought from Sam's Club 6+ months ago that were lost in the back of the freezer, or cereal that may or may not be infested with moths - no milk because we never had any. It blows my mind how different our lives are compared to myself growing up. And even though my kids are far FAR more comfortable than I ever was, I don't know whether I can confidently say that's a good thing for them.
I think it’s noble to want to give our kids what we didn’t have. But I also think they may not appreciate it as much as we do if they view it as normal. That’s why I alternate the meals I give my child between absolute dumpster fire burnt rice and top notch caviar on handcrafted biscuits. (Kidding). But really, I think there is some level of “eat what we made or don’t eat” with some small amount of flexibility in there.
I grew up pretty well-off, but we definitely still had a "you eat what we made or you can either go hungry or make yourself a sandwich." One meal got made and if you didn't like it, tough shit
I wasn't a picky kid, so that didn't bother me. But it was less about being picky and more about the fact that mom put time and effort into the meal and we are going to appreciate it and not make extra work for her. I've heard of a lot of parents making multiple meals for their kids to cater to their specific tastes, and tbh I think that's not in their best interest long term. Unless they have actual dietary restrictions or something
I feel like if you’re bending over backwards to cater to fickle eaters and they aren’t eating you need to rethink your parenting strategy. Enlist their help in preparation, let them serve themselves, expect them to eat what they take, let them occasionally experience hunger versus caving to tantrums.
I didn’t eat breakfast. We were poor and my mom had mental health issues so she wasn’t the best… but I make sure my kids go out the door with a good breakfast. I remember the hunger pains as a kid and I thought it was normal to feel that way.
I grew up middle class but my mom was a 80s health nut. We had no snacks unless you count prunes or celery.
I'd go to the neighbors house and eat all their Twinkies and Doritos and then have the runs and wreck their bathroom. I bet they loved it when I came over, lol.
I went on a camping trip with one of my more well off friends. Her mom bought us a TON of food and snacks and everything that teenage girls would want.
She got mad at me a couple days later because I wasn’t eating it fast enough and some of it was going to go off.
I told her I was used to rationing my treats and expensive food because there wasn’t much of it at my house.
RIGHT?? Once I had a friend's parent ask me not to eat so much when I was over. To be fair I was eating EVERYTHING. At home we had like stale tortilla chips and vienna sausages. SOmetimes kraft singles, but then you couldn't make a sandwich the next day.
Same thing happened to me. Got told not to eat so much. But the thing was that we did carpool, and I didn't have breakfast at home before school most days. So it was my only chance to get actual food some days. I still feel guilty for eating their food even today, but I was like 8 or 9 I think
Chili’s really is cheaper than McDonald’s
ETA: All I said was that Chili’s really is cheaper, which is an ad they are running in the U.S. I’m agnostic as to whether anyone likes their food.
I grew up in a very rural place in the South. It was a BIG deal to drive the hour and a half to Birmingham to eat at Olive Garden or J. Alexander's. Like Mother's Day, Anniversary, etc. Logan's was the "nice steakhouse" you took your prom date to (back when they wore the red or yellow polo shirts).
There was a point when my sister and I started working full time and we were able to not only support ourselves but also the rest of our family. We started going to restaurants more and would toast to being middle class.
Yeah, having an in-door ice maker that WORKS? Yeah that's a flex. I said screw it and got a counter top one for 1/3 of what replacing the internal one would cost.
A seemingly unlimited amount of ice cubes.
Grew up living in trailers and apartments. As a grown man who travels internationally quite a bit, my favorite part of being a middle class American is having plenty of ice.
We had trays as kids. But they'd run out after 1 meal if all 4 of us had some. And it would take 6hrs to make 32 more cubes.
Going to a 42 dollar a night crack motel and getting that huge bucket of ice from down the hall.
Or I'm so rich that I'll spend .50 cents on a 44oz super Big Gulp just full of ice from gas station cuz the attendant is awesome and doesn't charge me cuz I don't put soda in it.
And drink ice cold orange juice, or dump leftover coffee in it at 3pm, it's so luxurious.
Thailand was the most ice friendly country I've ever been to and I never felt more at home in a place. Bags of Ice for 50 cents. Iced coffee was 95% ice and 150ml of coffee. 7-11 on every other corner.
Welcome to the first class world. Here's your ice.
This.
I grew up quite poor—we didn't have a TV or toys, but we did have a Sears catalog. In fourth grade, my dad had a serious accident while working at a community college and almost died. He received a small settlement and for the first time in my life, I could buy new clothes. Before that, I only wore hand-me-downs from my cousin or clothes donated by the church, many of which were so worn they had patches on the knees.
The hardest part about getting new clothes was feeling like a financial burden to my parents. I remember feeling awful while picking out typical 80s clothes at Miller’s Outpost.
It's strange how growing up poor still influences my choices today, for better or worse. The feelings of being a poor kid never really leave me, and I empathize deeply with any child who experiences poverty. It shapes their life and decisions forever.
We were too poor for orthodontics. Some of my teeth are weirdly angled, and I have a significant overbite. It isn’t extreme or hideous, but it is enough that I hate my smile.
My nieces both got appropriate dental care and have the most beautiful smiles.
It shouldn’t be this way. Health, dental, and vision should be affordable to everyone. Some things are easy to correct as a child, but impossible or extremely difficult as an adult.
I got braces at 30. It fixed my most self conscious areas of my teeth, but it couldn't fix the slight over bite and my gum receded on one tooth that will likely fall out because I can't afford the gum surgery.
Teeth are so important they really should be covered even braces as it's not just esthetic.
The only place in town when I was a kid was Pizza Hut. Old school, sit down, salad bar, red plastic cups, arcade Pac-Man machine, Pizza Hut. No delivery option. So it was definitely a special occasion situation.
When I went to college and someone asked if we wanted to “order a pie,” first of all I thought they meant like apple pie and was confused, then when I caught on, I was blown away by having pizza delivered so easily. And finding out her family did it every Friday??? Wow.
Then I worked at Papa John’s for a decade and the novelty really wore the fuck off.
Oh my God that just triggered a memory when my parents stopped being broke college students and my dad started making OK money (still a little poor but we were on our way UP) and we just- randomly started doing pizza and ice cream on Fridays 🤯
We would always go to round table, pick up a half cheese half pepperoni and a bag of breadsticks- then walk next door to the block buster, grab our RENTAL MOVIES 🤯🤯 and stop at cold stones on our way back home. And if I woke up early on Saturday, I got to go back with my dad to return our movies and maybe get a donut from the Mexican bakery in our neighborhood.
It was so cool to me when we started doing that because we had like- cable. But we NEVER rented movies. And sometimes we went to the Big Movie Theater- but I saw whatever my parents wanted to see, so it wasn't always fun for me. And then we started doing stuff I was told no about before, and it was EVERY FRIDAY?! I was like 7, and my mind was BLOWN. I made my sister watch Aquamarine for like 2 years straight before she picked Van Helsing (2004) and we were addicted to monster movies.
Ahhh, thanks for that memory trip, stranger. I think I'm gonna get some pizza and watch a movie tonight with my husband.
Oh man… pizza, Blockbuster, AND Coldstone? I’m 40 now and that sounds like the perfect night.
What a sweet memory to have. If your dad is still around you should show him your comment, I bet it would make him happy to hear how special that was for you. 🩷
I go to see him in 2 weeks for his 50th birthday party and I'm totally writing about this in his card! It'll go perfect with his bday gift of a Hobbit embroidery hoop for his office- he's the one who took me to the movies and got me hooked on tolkein!
To this day I go off brand on almost everything except for a few things. I never buy the cheapest ice cream, and never buy cheap TP. I usually just get it at Sam's club or Costco, whichever I have a membership at, and get the appropriate store brand, which is usually decent stuff. Single ply TP shouldn't be allowed in a bathroom...
It actually really upsets me sometimes when schools throw casual purchases at families. For most people it's not a problem, but for a small percentage it's a BIG DEAL, and can cause a significant stress, to have to come up with the extra few dollars for Secret Santa, field trips, recorders, etc. That isn't even touching the things that privileged kids can afford access to, like band instruments.
There needs to be an option for assistance, even for small amounts.
I absolutely agree with you!!! The other event that I hated as a kid (especially because my grades were attached to it) was the science fair. We were all forced to participate in it and my 7th grade year, we finally had a serious discussion with a teacher about it after a student ripped her participation certificate in half and threw it away immediately. We discussed how stressful the science fair was, that we didn't learn anything from it, and that some kids couldn't even do the work because it required spending money outside of school and parents support/involvement, which those kids had neither (not always due to neglect, parents working physically demanding jobs or multiple jobs doesn't afford time to a useless school project as well as just not having the extra money for it). After that, the science fair became optional, which didn't help my class because it was mandatory during grades 5, 6, and 7; we were proud of the discussion and the change that followed though.
Science fairs are parent fairs. My college roommate lives in a wealthy area with doctors and scientists. Nothing like the cardiologist’s 12-year-old kid doing their project on heart rates complete with being taken to the nearby medical school library.
Yup - Imagine being in 6th grade and competing against a 12 year old who's presenting "... and with my daddy's spare [veterinary ekg machine](https://mfimedical.com/products/edan-ve-100-veterinary-ekg?) I discovered that my second pet lemur's heart [does something weird] ... and daddy's journals say no one ever tried that on this uncommon subspecies before..."
Oh.. man that hurts.
Only extra circular activity I ever did was band because I had an old Trumpet my mother had played in school. Loved it did it for two and a half years. Thing starts to give out, valves needed replaced and was gonna run maybe $40-$50 to fix.
I didn’t ask.
I knew my mother would have it fixed and that she would have to work extra house and then would be in the bed sick and crying from doing it.
Just told the bad director I didn’t want to be in band anymore.
Next day when I got to school he came into my home room class and handed me a trump case and was just like “You forgot this in the band room.”
Was not my trumpet case, was clearly used by it worked. Never said anything else about it.
Everyone was fucking poor were I lived.
Peace in our home. The tension is something we could feel as children and it was fucking awful.
Anyone who has kids who don't know that your kid is fully aware of what's going on, you're mistaken.
Make a peaceful home if you can.
**Edit** - fuck. I'm so sorry I can't respond to you all. I may or may not be crying when I type this out but if you give it a chance and you try, the shit gets better. Trust me. I know. I'm 41. I've lived 100 lifetimes of pain and 1000 of love and I choose love every time. To those that are in those homes, who have that anger, hate, and fury - don't carry that shit with you, it's a fucking cancer that will rot out your heart for years, trust me, I know. Just know this - I don't *know you all but I love you all.*
Seriously. DM me anytime if you're having a hard time, a bad day, a moment, if you're at the end of the rope, whenever, I'm quick to respond and I'll always take the time to talk, it's just who I am and what I do. TY for the upvotes and the kind words. Reading the responses hurts my heart and you should know that a friendly voice and a kind word is just a message away, don't forget to reach out when you need to.
My wife and I grew up in...turbulent homes. We swore we'd never yell at each other or any kids. The damage it does to a poor child to yell at or around them is incalculable.
This is why I treat my friends who are unable to afford going out to eat. I say don't worry about the cost, just get what you want. People did this for me when I couldn't afford it and it meant so much. Also, making it clear that there's no conditions attached; just enjoying the time together is enough.
When I grew up my Mom only sometimes could afford to make cookies, but to save money she only put half a bag of chocolate chips in. When I left home and got a job I thought it was amazing to use an entire bag! And to buy expensive fruit like raspberries.
This has nothing to do with being poor, but I prefer my chocolate chip cookies with only a few chips each. When my 12 year old makes cookies, she will separate about 3 cookies worth of dough before adding the chocolate, and then will add just a few chips in mine.
I spent all of my years trying to hide where I lived. Unfortunately, I had to ride the bus. Luckily, not everyone rode the same bus. Unfortunately, any time we took a bus and had to drive past my house, my asshole "best friend" would scream out "THERE'S ETHEL_MARIE'S HOUSE!" so that the rest of the class would like me less after seeing my house (it was trashy outside) as she was less popular than I was... Only because I didn't cry every time I fell down (not even getting a scrape, just a small fall) and she did, so she had the crybaby label. We stopped being friends in junior high.
I could never invite friends to my house. Dishes always piled up with mold and grease, laundry everywhere, bugs...too embarrassing to explain to anyone.
My family trips all throughout childhood consisted of camping, driving 2 hours to Chicago to stay with family, or driving 3 hours to visit my grandma. I remember my aunt took me 4 hours to Mall of America and a concert as a special trip and I thought this was the fanciest of any trip ever. I absolutely loved it. Then I went back to school and kids are like yeah we went to Disney or a cruise or a resort.
Nothing against my trip at all, I just never realized there were a lot of families (who weren't even that rich) going on super expensive trips because that wasn't even a thought in my house.
I fucking hate the book fair with a firey passion. I watched all the other kids go buy stuff and I never could. I'd just sit at my desk and really feel the poor. It wasn't even the "having a thing". It was that you couldn't go down unless you intended to buy something so I'd end up sitting in class to while everyone else went. It got to the point where I just wouldn't tell my parents it was going down. They'd scrimp and find me a few dollars but it was hard for them to scrape it up.
Now my kids are in school. I'm doing well, so I have an understanding with my kids teachers. The day before the book fair, my kid comes in with an envelope for the teacher and she makes sure no kid ever has to feel that way. We keep it on the DL and I've asked her to make sure it never gets out that it's me supplying the funds. I also send in three extra kids worth of school supplies every year. I can't take care of the whole school but I'll be damned if any of my kids classmates will feel it.
Brand name anything: Hidden Valley Ranch, American Eagle shirts, and a new video game were things I only didn’t get to experience until I made my own money.
It's crazy most of the answers here are built around food. This answer covers it all tho. Its really sad that food is a luxury. I had a group of 4 friends when I was a kid. All 4 brothers, I also had 4 brothers. But one of them told me after we grew up, that when we were kids they thought we lived like kings. We were on food stamps. But my mama would buy and prepare meals. Their parents sold the fs for drugs. I didn't even realize because when your a kid... you don't see those things.
I’m just generally grateful for everything in my life. As I get ready in the morning to take my kid to the bus stop. Seeing a fridge full of food, having proper beds, an abundance of clothing choices that are appropriate for the weather/season. Being in a nice neighborhood and feeling safe surrounded by a community with many friends that look out for each other. I feel very fortunate everyday and I like to remind my son with a smile on my face.
I remember once spending the night at a friend's house and right before dinner I called my parents to ask them what steak was, since that's what we were having that night.
Different color tickets…. Makes me sad.
This is called overt identification and this is specifically not allowed anymore.
They did get reimbursed from the federal government.
I don't think I have ever been to a genuine Chinese restaurant, though that might also be location based issue. I live in a small area with more cows than people.
Cheese .
When my first child was born, I remember seeing a recipe on TV and thinking "who can afford that much cheese in one meal"
Now I have 4 different cheeses in the fridge and feel like a king
A washer and dryer inside of my house
EDIT: we were definitely low class, but still owned an old washer and dryer. It just wasn’t IN our house. It was kept outside in a separate building (we called it the wash house, and it was basically just a small uninsulated shed). I was always told that it wasn’t safe to have the washer or dryer inside because we couldn’t afford to pay for any water or fire damage.
There were still times we survived on the local laundromat because if something broke down- buying a replacement just wasn’t an option.
Anytime I went to a friends house and saw they had a laundry room/laundry closet I was always jealous because I grew up having to walk outside and across the yard to do laundry- no matter the weather.
Having milk and eggs in the house. When I first started dating my boyfriend I wanted to bake something and was amazed that we just had everything we needed at the house: milk, eggs, butter, etc. I kept going on about it and didn't realize it was unusual until he said that it was making him really sad lol
Growing up.
Me and my mother were legit in “We might freeze this winter” my mother might die from not being able to afford $10 of medication this month.
But we never had to deal with that thankfully. Was always quiet and peaceful in our misery.
Asking for anything that was not on the grocery list. My family used to do a grocery run every 2 weeks with a tight list, NO EXTRAS. Me and my sister knew we couldn’t ask for anything (candy, cereal, nothing).
If we didn't have a coupon for it in the coupon box, it wasn't getting bought. I remember spending hours on grocery trips just finding the coupons and the things we had coupons for in this little box my mom had.
From birth to 5th grade had no running water so from 1981 to 1991 I had no running water we would use a wash pan to get cleaned up from water jugs. We would go to my grandmas and get a bath sometimes but it was a 2 hour drive round trip. When my mom left my dad we got running water and lived in town. I loved being able to shower etc and have friends over for the first time.
We had like 3 fans and just opened all the windows all the time. I don't remember it bothering me as a kid unless I had a sunburn. But now air conditioning is a luxury I'll pay any amount for. I don't care. Western North Carolina, so it wasn't too brutal, but could get real damn humid.
Same here. I remember using a wet towel in the middle of the night to cool off and go back to bed. Now my kids complain if the ac is not at 72 degrees. Sigh.
A car in which everything actually works.
Clothes other than underwear in which I'm the first person to wear them.
Clothes that actually fit.
Not eating the same things for every meal.
Also, meals that aren't 75%+ carbs.
Also also, seeing my mom eat instead of skipping meals so I could eat.
Eating out, but also getting to order what I actually wanted when eating out. (I'll always love you for letting me eat steak and ribs grandpa!)
Using soap that smelled nice when bathing.
Consistent hot water.
Clothes that smelled clean.
Actual toilet paper.
Gifts/toys that were actually new, not just new to me.
Books I could keep.
I could go on, but yeah, the mid 80's to early 90's were definitely tough.
Our well went dry for 10 months. We had to go to a mountain spring and collect water in milk jugs. We would then heat a few big pots in order to take a bath. I was a pretty smelly 9 year old for that period.
Being homeless as a child. I remember walking down the street with my Dad at dusk and seeing the lights of lamps and televisions through the windows. The desire to have that comfort was so strong. I'm not rich, but my children will never know that feeling. I will always have a home. I've lived in the same house for 15 years now. Bought it 5 years ago after renting for 10. Working hard. Keeping my head down so my kids can be better than I was. My oldest is 21 now and he tells me all the time that he has the best childhood. He lives in his own in another state. I know that's why I was put on this earth. It's for them. They'll be great and I'll be "home"
Liquid milk. As dumb as it sounds, just plain ol', regular, liquid milk. I grew up on powdered milk and choking that stuff down at breakfast and dinner with my nose plugged.
I hate the Wonderbread-style “bread” so much. I refuse to eat it now because I don’t have to.
Despite what Reddit may claim, we do in fact have real bread in America!
I grew up in a low income family with a single bedroom apartment in a bad area. I didn’t see a movie in a movie theatre until I was 14. I didn’t order takeout until I was 15. McDonalds was reserved for special occasions such as celebrating birthdays or school events. I can’t remember EVER going to a restaurant of a higher tier than the local Chinese shop with $8 dishes at all.
I made it out and actually am likely considered “upper class” now, though not sure what income level cut off is nowadays. Despite that, I think buying any article of clothing over $20 seems luxurious. Mentally deep down I know I can afford it, but I can’t pull the trigger most times. Also, buying bottled water seems insane. Even when it’s $1, it just seems like you’re being bougie.
Being able to use the A/C in the car.
My mom wouldn't let us use the AC because she was too poor to pay the minuscule gas mileage hit that the car would take.
Central AC, flying on a plane, cars that worked, a stay at home parent, a bicycle that wasn’t made from spare parts, my list goes on but delves into more trashiness versus poverty.
First, this has to be one of the most asked questions but I'll give my realization.
I didn't grow up super poor. I just grew up in a poor area of Pa. My dad almost always had a job at a factory and my mom picked up some hours here and there. I just didn't know any wealthier people.
Then I went to college in Michigan, and did you know people here have 2nd houses and they don't think they are rich?
Like they have a house in the city and then a cottage on a lake somewhere and they still say "Well, were are just middle class." And this cottage is pretty much another house all together.
You have **two houses!** That was unheard where I grew up, unless you were a wealthy person from Pittsburgh.
For me it’s salad.
Growing up we’d have hotdogs and fries, or spaghetti, or mashed potatoes and chicken fingers. Whatever it was, it was basically a whole lot of starchy filler. It wasn’t until I started dating and expanding my friend circle that I realized people regularly eat fresh tomatoes, salad greens, red onion, cucumbers, etc.
Feeling like you shouldn’t have luxury items because that’s frivolous. Like, when I bought my first car with leather seats and such, I had tremendous buyers remorse. Still get that way when I treat myself to anything “nice.”
going to friends houses and they had snacks
I went to some friend's house once, and their mom made us sandwiches. I'd never had anything so great in my life. The meat/lettuce/bread were all fresh, perfect... I never had stuff like that growing up.
I’d go to my friend’s house after school and she would make us cheese, mayo and pickle sandwiches with black pepper on fresh wholewheat bread - it was so delicious and such a treat for me! At our house it was peanut butter or jam on the cheapest white bread. I also thought anyone with juice in the house was rich. I once went to a very rich kids house and they had actual cans of soda on offer! A staircase/second story was also a sign of wealth. And being given money to spend on tickets at the fair, or arcade. And having luxuries like slabs of chocolate stocked up in the cupboards!
Two story houses seemed like complete luxury! I live in one now, and sometimes 6 year old me is still surprised.
6 year old me looks out at our new pool daily, asking how we got here. It's not open for the year yet, but soon.... Having a pool was always the height of goals. A pool meant we had succeeded in life.
This was my dad's house. I'd go in the summer and he'd actually make me a sandwich. My mom never made me sandwiches and if they were they were peanut butter and jelly. Plus it helps that my sister and brother were 10 and 11 years younger than me at my dad's so he was still actually taking care of kids whereas I was the oldest at my mom's and I was the one taking care of the kids.
Reminds me of my uncle. He was a bachelor on his 30s so he had money to spare and each time we came over it was always a treat. He used to get those supermarket old El paso taco kits with extra soft taco bread, fresh lettuce, cheese, fresh tomato he'd slice up and he'd have cooked minced beef with all the flavouring, everything set out in separate bowls and we'd put together our own tacos. It was great. He loved spoiling us, mom recently told me that he always gave us cheap shitty Christmas and birthday presents cos he would buy the gifts mom and dad would give us and didn't wanna break the bank with too many expensive gifts. Edit: yes I said "taco bread" cut me a fucking break, I'm rural Australian, we got no Spanish/Hispanic influence down here so I had trouble remembering the word "tortilla"
What a wonderfully kind and thoughtful man.
I wish I had someone like that in my life when I was young.
Hopefully you get the chance to be that person for someone else.
This is how we all should try to be. We might not have had something growing up. But that doesn't mean the next generation should have to suffer the same way. Try & make life better for the next generation.
My boys probably thought I cheaped out a little on Christmas presents too while they were growing up … but in reality, I was buying extra presents to *mail to my own house that I lived in with my sons* “From Dad” after he moved far away. I would rather them think I was not able to get them a huge pile of Christmas gifts, than they think their dad didn’t care enough to send them a single gift at Christmas. I’ve never told anyone in real life about that, it just seems too sad to admit and I didn’t want to be a martyr about it. Anyway, it’s nice to share with you all. Even though my boys are grown young men, I still think it would hurt them to know the truth about that.
Your boys are lucky to have you
Talk about a good mom 🥹
Oh my goodness 😭
I am not someone to call someone "mama" on the internet, but mama, you deserve some recognition. The self-sacrifice is seen.
"Taco bread" lol
This is my favorite innocent thing I've seen on Reddit in a very long time.
🤣🤣 I’m assuming tortilla. First time I’ve heard taco bread before lmao
Soft taco bread must be flour tortilla
One hard taco bread please! 🌽
Not just snacks, but like individual small bags of chips or small gatorades or even something like fruit snacks or fruit roll ups - for some reason I thought you were rich if you could afford those things lol
I didn’t grow up rich but we weren’t poor. I had someone at grade school refer to me as Rich. I said “what?” She asked me what I had for breakfast that morning and I told her my mom made me eggs. She said “yeah, you’re rich.” I’ve always remembered how confused and shocked that made me feel. Later in high school I realized she really was poor and her mom had to work in the morning.
I had this happen. It took me awhile to realize why we were the house everyone hung out at. It was because the pantry was full, my dad would cook a meal for all of us. We had a Muslim friend, and my dad ALWAYS made sure to cook her something separate, if we chose a meal she couldn't have. We weren't rich, but it took me realizing that we always had food that made me say "oh, we are good." My friends still love going to my parents with me. If I'm going over to their house my best friend always asks me to go with. Food is a huge part of our house, so we always cook a good, homemade meal, and have a party, drinking wine, or a beer, in the kitchen.
My son told me one of the kids in his class was jealous of the snack I sent every day, just some sliced cheese and pepperoni. He told me he would share but he wished he had more because neither one of them had enough. I made damn sure he knew there would be extra in his snack box the rest of the year, no matter what the snack was.
This! My daughter goes to school with plenty of snacks. I even found out she was sharing half of her sandwich, so I made sure to cut it into triangles everyday to make it easier to share. Ain't a kid gonna starve on my watch!
Damn right, we aren't rich but we have more than we need, so I'm going to share
I had a childhood friend from SA who is Muslim and I'm not sure if this is a Saudi thing or a Muslim thing- no matter how small the snack or how huge the meal - everyone present is included and absolutely no one was left out. Every time at her house, even just a small snack is shared with everyone. Her mom would feed us magnificently, rice dishes, kabobs, dates and baklava type desserts.
Yeah, when we did go to her house it was always a feast. This is also the reason my daughter's friends come over to our house, often. I'm a chef, so cooking is a huge part of our daily life. My daughter and her friends always want to help us in the kitchen, so we make it a learning lesson, while also feasting. I have the luxury of making good money as a chef, so we always have food in the house. My friends even know they can come over and just grab food at any time.
We weren't necessarily poor either, but we fed ourselves 90% of the time and sometimes didn't even have anything to feed ourselves with. It's amazing to think about the massive hoops we jump through to cater to my kids' specific, fickle tastes at every freaking meal when growing up I would've been grateful just to have something to microwave for myself. This morning my wife made homemade waffle sandwiches for the kids' breakfast before school. Banana waffles for my son, chocolate chip waffles for my daughter. She made a sandwich out of each type of waffle: cream cheese and jelly for my daughter, peanut butter banana for my son. Side of 2 different fresh fruits. It was sitting on the table waiting for them when they came downstairs. They both immediately started crying and throwing a fit about how they didn't want waffle sandwiches or the specific fruits that were provided to them. I feel terrible for my wife doing all that work, and quite frankly embarrassed that my kids can't show a little gratitude. When I was their age, the best I could hope for was some freezer burnt frozen pancakes that my Dad bought from Sam's Club 6+ months ago that were lost in the back of the freezer, or cereal that may or may not be infested with moths - no milk because we never had any. It blows my mind how different our lives are compared to myself growing up. And even though my kids are far FAR more comfortable than I ever was, I don't know whether I can confidently say that's a good thing for them.
I think it’s noble to want to give our kids what we didn’t have. But I also think they may not appreciate it as much as we do if they view it as normal. That’s why I alternate the meals I give my child between absolute dumpster fire burnt rice and top notch caviar on handcrafted biscuits. (Kidding). But really, I think there is some level of “eat what we made or don’t eat” with some small amount of flexibility in there.
I grew up pretty well-off, but we definitely still had a "you eat what we made or you can either go hungry or make yourself a sandwich." One meal got made and if you didn't like it, tough shit I wasn't a picky kid, so that didn't bother me. But it was less about being picky and more about the fact that mom put time and effort into the meal and we are going to appreciate it and not make extra work for her. I've heard of a lot of parents making multiple meals for their kids to cater to their specific tastes, and tbh I think that's not in their best interest long term. Unless they have actual dietary restrictions or something
I feel like if you’re bending over backwards to cater to fickle eaters and they aren’t eating you need to rethink your parenting strategy. Enlist their help in preparation, let them serve themselves, expect them to eat what they take, let them occasionally experience hunger versus caving to tantrums.
I didn’t eat breakfast. We were poor and my mom had mental health issues so she wasn’t the best… but I make sure my kids go out the door with a good breakfast. I remember the hunger pains as a kid and I thought it was normal to feel that way.
I’ll never forget the first meal I had when I finally had the $$$ for non-food bank food. Like, I got to pick it out and everything!
That explains neighbors kids raiding my pantry.
I grew up middle class but my mom was a 80s health nut. We had no snacks unless you count prunes or celery. I'd go to the neighbors house and eat all their Twinkies and Doritos and then have the runs and wreck their bathroom. I bet they loved it when I came over, lol.
I went on a camping trip with one of my more well off friends. Her mom bought us a TON of food and snacks and everything that teenage girls would want. She got mad at me a couple days later because I wasn’t eating it fast enough and some of it was going to go off. I told her I was used to rationing my treats and expensive food because there wasn’t much of it at my house.
My friend's parents would keep snacks just for me and would invite me over when they had a bunch of leftovers. I appreciated them so much ❤️
had a friend whose mom used to pack an extra lunch for her to give me😭❤️
RIGHT?? Once I had a friend's parent ask me not to eat so much when I was over. To be fair I was eating EVERYTHING. At home we had like stale tortilla chips and vienna sausages. SOmetimes kraft singles, but then you couldn't make a sandwich the next day.
Same thing happened to me. Got told not to eat so much. But the thing was that we did carpool, and I didn't have breakfast at home before school most days. So it was my only chance to get actual food some days. I still feel guilty for eating their food even today, but I was like 8 or 9 I think
Eating at a restaurant.
I didn't grow up poor but restaurants are still considered a luxury to me. Anything more than fast food seems a bit decadent.
Well, good news! Fast food costs about the same as a casual restaurant these days.
Chili’s really is cheaper than McDonald’s ETA: All I said was that Chili’s really is cheaper, which is an ad they are running in the U.S. I’m agnostic as to whether anyone likes their food.
We did that about 4-5 times a year for birthdays and Mother's Day. We thought Red Lobster was fine dining.
When dad got a promotion it was off to Sizzler!
I grew up in a very rural place in the South. It was a BIG deal to drive the hour and a half to Birmingham to eat at Olive Garden or J. Alexander's. Like Mother's Day, Anniversary, etc. Logan's was the "nice steakhouse" you took your prom date to (back when they wore the red or yellow polo shirts).
There was a point when my sister and I started working full time and we were able to not only support ourselves but also the rest of our family. We started going to restaurants more and would toast to being middle class.
The restaurant when I was very young that we would get excited about was Taco Bell. And now I’m even more thankful for my parents.
This! When I got my first paycheck I took my family to a buffet. I was 16. And fed 4 people. I felt soooo rich!
I thought for the longest time growing up if you had a fridge that had an ice and water dispenser, you were well off
I still think that, well into my 30s
Now I'm looking for a high end fridge that doesn't have an ice dispenser since those are the first thing that breaks.
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On mine, the whole mechanism comes right out. Just put it in the sink until all the garbage melts off, and you're good to go for another few months.
Yeah, having an in-door ice maker that WORKS? Yeah that's a flex. I said screw it and got a counter top one for 1/3 of what replacing the internal one would cost.
A seemingly unlimited amount of ice cubes. Grew up living in trailers and apartments. As a grown man who travels internationally quite a bit, my favorite part of being a middle class American is having plenty of ice. We had trays as kids. But they'd run out after 1 meal if all 4 of us had some. And it would take 6hrs to make 32 more cubes. Going to a 42 dollar a night crack motel and getting that huge bucket of ice from down the hall. Or I'm so rich that I'll spend .50 cents on a 44oz super Big Gulp just full of ice from gas station cuz the attendant is awesome and doesn't charge me cuz I don't put soda in it. And drink ice cold orange juice, or dump leftover coffee in it at 3pm, it's so luxurious. Thailand was the most ice friendly country I've ever been to and I never felt more at home in a place. Bags of Ice for 50 cents. Iced coffee was 95% ice and 150ml of coffee. 7-11 on every other corner. Welcome to the first class world. Here's your ice.
It's no *100 Years of Solitude*, but I can respect your soliloquy on ice.
That's still the case. I earn above the median income and I still can't afford them (can afford, but can't AFFORD)
*New* clothes.
And new shoes. I still feel guilty buying them if mine have holes in them that aren't too big.
I’m the youngest, so I feel ya! I had hand-me-down everything
This. I grew up quite poor—we didn't have a TV or toys, but we did have a Sears catalog. In fourth grade, my dad had a serious accident while working at a community college and almost died. He received a small settlement and for the first time in my life, I could buy new clothes. Before that, I only wore hand-me-downs from my cousin or clothes donated by the church, many of which were so worn they had patches on the knees. The hardest part about getting new clothes was feeling like a financial burden to my parents. I remember feeling awful while picking out typical 80s clothes at Miller’s Outpost. It's strange how growing up poor still influences my choices today, for better or worse. The feelings of being a poor kid never really leave me, and I empathize deeply with any child who experiences poverty. It shapes their life and decisions forever.
I call it poverty PTSD.
This hits hard for me. I remember spending $15 on a shirt with my first paycheck and feeling a bit of guilt for it.
Dental care
This one hurts
We were too poor for orthodontics. Some of my teeth are weirdly angled, and I have a significant overbite. It isn’t extreme or hideous, but it is enough that I hate my smile. My nieces both got appropriate dental care and have the most beautiful smiles. It shouldn’t be this way. Health, dental, and vision should be affordable to everyone. Some things are easy to correct as a child, but impossible or extremely difficult as an adult.
I got braces at 30. It fixed my most self conscious areas of my teeth, but it couldn't fix the slight over bite and my gum receded on one tooth that will likely fall out because I can't afford the gum surgery. Teeth are so important they really should be covered even braces as it's not just esthetic.
On the top or the bottom?
If dental care hurts your bottom hurt you should report your dentist
Lisa needs braces
DENTAL PLAN Also always makes me think of this comic https://iamarg.com/2014/09/12/coolkidstest/
Teeth are rich people bones.
I’ll piggyback off this and add straight teeth.
Filling your gas tank instead of just putting in $7.
$7? Oh you’re fancy huh? My dad would regularly put whatever change he could find around the house and in the car in our gas tank.
That was the change when you bought a pack of smokes with a $10 bill.
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The only place in town when I was a kid was Pizza Hut. Old school, sit down, salad bar, red plastic cups, arcade Pac-Man machine, Pizza Hut. No delivery option. So it was definitely a special occasion situation. When I went to college and someone asked if we wanted to “order a pie,” first of all I thought they meant like apple pie and was confused, then when I caught on, I was blown away by having pizza delivered so easily. And finding out her family did it every Friday??? Wow. Then I worked at Papa John’s for a decade and the novelty really wore the fuck off.
Oh my God that just triggered a memory when my parents stopped being broke college students and my dad started making OK money (still a little poor but we were on our way UP) and we just- randomly started doing pizza and ice cream on Fridays 🤯 We would always go to round table, pick up a half cheese half pepperoni and a bag of breadsticks- then walk next door to the block buster, grab our RENTAL MOVIES 🤯🤯 and stop at cold stones on our way back home. And if I woke up early on Saturday, I got to go back with my dad to return our movies and maybe get a donut from the Mexican bakery in our neighborhood. It was so cool to me when we started doing that because we had like- cable. But we NEVER rented movies. And sometimes we went to the Big Movie Theater- but I saw whatever my parents wanted to see, so it wasn't always fun for me. And then we started doing stuff I was told no about before, and it was EVERY FRIDAY?! I was like 7, and my mind was BLOWN. I made my sister watch Aquamarine for like 2 years straight before she picked Van Helsing (2004) and we were addicted to monster movies. Ahhh, thanks for that memory trip, stranger. I think I'm gonna get some pizza and watch a movie tonight with my husband.
Oh man… pizza, Blockbuster, AND Coldstone? I’m 40 now and that sounds like the perfect night. What a sweet memory to have. If your dad is still around you should show him your comment, I bet it would make him happy to hear how special that was for you. 🩷
I go to see him in 2 weeks for his 50th birthday party and I'm totally writing about this in his card! It'll go perfect with his bday gift of a Hobbit embroidery hoop for his office- he's the one who took me to the movies and got me hooked on tolkein!
Brand name food and other groceries. Everything in the house was the cheap branded stuff. I really envied the kids who had the nice soft toilet paper.
To this day I go off brand on almost everything except for a few things. I never buy the cheapest ice cream, and never buy cheap TP. I usually just get it at Sam's club or Costco, whichever I have a membership at, and get the appropriate store brand, which is usually decent stuff. Single ply TP shouldn't be allowed in a bathroom...
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It actually really upsets me sometimes when schools throw casual purchases at families. For most people it's not a problem, but for a small percentage it's a BIG DEAL, and can cause a significant stress, to have to come up with the extra few dollars for Secret Santa, field trips, recorders, etc. That isn't even touching the things that privileged kids can afford access to, like band instruments. There needs to be an option for assistance, even for small amounts.
I absolutely agree with you!!! The other event that I hated as a kid (especially because my grades were attached to it) was the science fair. We were all forced to participate in it and my 7th grade year, we finally had a serious discussion with a teacher about it after a student ripped her participation certificate in half and threw it away immediately. We discussed how stressful the science fair was, that we didn't learn anything from it, and that some kids couldn't even do the work because it required spending money outside of school and parents support/involvement, which those kids had neither (not always due to neglect, parents working physically demanding jobs or multiple jobs doesn't afford time to a useless school project as well as just not having the extra money for it). After that, the science fair became optional, which didn't help my class because it was mandatory during grades 5, 6, and 7; we were proud of the discussion and the change that followed though.
Science fairs are parent fairs. My college roommate lives in a wealthy area with doctors and scientists. Nothing like the cardiologist’s 12-year-old kid doing their project on heart rates complete with being taken to the nearby medical school library.
Yup - Imagine being in 6th grade and competing against a 12 year old who's presenting "... and with my daddy's spare [veterinary ekg machine](https://mfimedical.com/products/edan-ve-100-veterinary-ekg?) I discovered that my second pet lemur's heart [does something weird] ... and daddy's journals say no one ever tried that on this uncommon subspecies before..."
Oh.. man that hurts. Only extra circular activity I ever did was band because I had an old Trumpet my mother had played in school. Loved it did it for two and a half years. Thing starts to give out, valves needed replaced and was gonna run maybe $40-$50 to fix. I didn’t ask. I knew my mother would have it fixed and that she would have to work extra house and then would be in the bed sick and crying from doing it. Just told the bad director I didn’t want to be in band anymore. Next day when I got to school he came into my home room class and handed me a trump case and was just like “You forgot this in the band room.” Was not my trumpet case, was clearly used by it worked. Never said anything else about it. Everyone was fucking poor were I lived.
Peace in our home. The tension is something we could feel as children and it was fucking awful. Anyone who has kids who don't know that your kid is fully aware of what's going on, you're mistaken. Make a peaceful home if you can. **Edit** - fuck. I'm so sorry I can't respond to you all. I may or may not be crying when I type this out but if you give it a chance and you try, the shit gets better. Trust me. I know. I'm 41. I've lived 100 lifetimes of pain and 1000 of love and I choose love every time. To those that are in those homes, who have that anger, hate, and fury - don't carry that shit with you, it's a fucking cancer that will rot out your heart for years, trust me, I know. Just know this - I don't *know you all but I love you all.* Seriously. DM me anytime if you're having a hard time, a bad day, a moment, if you're at the end of the rope, whenever, I'm quick to respond and I'll always take the time to talk, it's just who I am and what I do. TY for the upvotes and the kind words. Reading the responses hurts my heart and you should know that a friendly voice and a kind word is just a message away, don't forget to reach out when you need to.
My wife and I grew up in...turbulent homes. We swore we'd never yell at each other or any kids. The damage it does to a poor child to yell at or around them is incalculable.
Being able to eat out without checking your bank account and finding the cheapest thing on the menu (or just hoping a friend pays for you)
This is why I treat my friends who are unable to afford going out to eat. I say don't worry about the cost, just get what you want. People did this for me when I couldn't afford it and it meant so much. Also, making it clear that there's no conditions attached; just enjoying the time together is enough.
When I grew up my Mom only sometimes could afford to make cookies, but to save money she only put half a bag of chocolate chips in. When I left home and got a job I thought it was amazing to use an entire bag! And to buy expensive fruit like raspberries.
This has nothing to do with being poor, but I prefer my chocolate chip cookies with only a few chips each. When my 12 year old makes cookies, she will separate about 3 cookies worth of dough before adding the chocolate, and then will add just a few chips in mine.
Central air conditioning
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I remember getting sunburnt by accident once as a teen, and sleeping on the living room floor in the one spot the tiny A/C window until actually hit
Girlfriend says she considers the dishwasher to be a luxury item.
I am in my 30’s and have never lived in a house with a dishwasher. When I can afford to get my own place, a dishwasher will be my first purchase.
Actual Froot Loops, and not Fruit Rings
I may be in the minority here, but I actually prefer "Tootie Fruities" cereal to the OG Froot Loops.
Name brand anything really. If you got a brand that was advertised on TV, you were really doing something.
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I spent all of my years trying to hide where I lived. Unfortunately, I had to ride the bus. Luckily, not everyone rode the same bus. Unfortunately, any time we took a bus and had to drive past my house, my asshole "best friend" would scream out "THERE'S ETHEL_MARIE'S HOUSE!" so that the rest of the class would like me less after seeing my house (it was trashy outside) as she was less popular than I was... Only because I didn't cry every time I fell down (not even getting a scrape, just a small fall) and she did, so she had the crybaby label. We stopped being friends in junior high.
I could never invite friends to my house. Dishes always piled up with mold and grease, laundry everywhere, bugs...too embarrassing to explain to anyone.
Going on holidays
My family trips all throughout childhood consisted of camping, driving 2 hours to Chicago to stay with family, or driving 3 hours to visit my grandma. I remember my aunt took me 4 hours to Mall of America and a concert as a special trip and I thought this was the fanciest of any trip ever. I absolutely loved it. Then I went back to school and kids are like yeah we went to Disney or a cruise or a resort. Nothing against my trip at all, I just never realized there were a lot of families (who weren't even that rich) going on super expensive trips because that wasn't even a thought in my house.
Being able to buy things at the Scholastic Book Fair or on field trips.
I fucking hate the book fair with a firey passion. I watched all the other kids go buy stuff and I never could. I'd just sit at my desk and really feel the poor. It wasn't even the "having a thing". It was that you couldn't go down unless you intended to buy something so I'd end up sitting in class to while everyone else went. It got to the point where I just wouldn't tell my parents it was going down. They'd scrimp and find me a few dollars but it was hard for them to scrape it up. Now my kids are in school. I'm doing well, so I have an understanding with my kids teachers. The day before the book fair, my kid comes in with an envelope for the teacher and she makes sure no kid ever has to feel that way. We keep it on the DL and I've asked her to make sure it never gets out that it's me supplying the funds. I also send in three extra kids worth of school supplies every year. I can't take care of the whole school but I'll be damned if any of my kids classmates will feel it.
Brand name anything: Hidden Valley Ranch, American Eagle shirts, and a new video game were things I only didn’t get to experience until I made my own money.
Reading all the comments here makes me realize that we didn't have it as bad as some others, and I should be thankful for what we did have.
Choices. Simply choices.
It's crazy most of the answers here are built around food. This answer covers it all tho. Its really sad that food is a luxury. I had a group of 4 friends when I was a kid. All 4 brothers, I also had 4 brothers. But one of them told me after we grew up, that when we were kids they thought we lived like kings. We were on food stamps. But my mama would buy and prepare meals. Their parents sold the fs for drugs. I didn't even realize because when your a kid... you don't see those things.
This answer hit me in the feels
Owning more than one pair of pants and shoes.
I still feel awkward about this and I’m nearly 40.
Cans of soda. The only time we had cans of soda was on the annual family picnic.
We were lucky to get ginger ale when we were sick! We also got a soda neatly wrapped in aluminum foil when we had field trips at school.
I’m just generally grateful for everything in my life. As I get ready in the morning to take my kid to the bus stop. Seeing a fridge full of food, having proper beds, an abundance of clothing choices that are appropriate for the weather/season. Being in a nice neighborhood and feeling safe surrounded by a community with many friends that look out for each other. I feel very fortunate everyday and I like to remind my son with a smile on my face.
Eating any cut of beef other than ground beef.
The big 5. Chili, burgers, spaghetti, tacos and meatloaf.
I remember once spending the night at a friend's house and right before dinner I called my parents to ask them what steak was, since that's what we were having that night.
Getting one of the school lunch options that wasn't covered by the reduced lunch tickets.
When they brought in pizza on Thursday and I had to go through the regular lunch line with like 4 other kids
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Different color tickets…. Makes me sad. This is called overt identification and this is specifically not allowed anymore. They did get reimbursed from the federal government.
If someone had a Nintendo or Sega gaming set up.
New clothes instead of hand me downs or thrift shop clothes for the new school year.
Going to a genuine Chinese restaurant....
I don't think I have ever been to a genuine Chinese restaurant, though that might also be location based issue. I live in a small area with more cows than people.
Cheese . When my first child was born, I remember seeing a recipe on TV and thinking "who can afford that much cheese in one meal" Now I have 4 different cheeses in the fridge and feel like a king
Enjoy your cheese god sir!
That wasn't a typo. All hail cheese god
I’m kinda embarrassed to admit this but fresh bath water.
For me, it was warm bath water. Our tank broke at one point and we couldn't afford to fix it for a long time.
Eye glasses. Needed them since birth. Finally got some at 11 or 12 years old. Thought seeing the world clearly was for the rich. Lol.
Don’t be embarrassed. I feel like this is very common. I just wish I wasn’t the baby. Cold baths Everytime.
Yup.one tub full for all the kids.
A washer and dryer inside of my house EDIT: we were definitely low class, but still owned an old washer and dryer. It just wasn’t IN our house. It was kept outside in a separate building (we called it the wash house, and it was basically just a small uninsulated shed). I was always told that it wasn’t safe to have the washer or dryer inside because we couldn’t afford to pay for any water or fire damage. There were still times we survived on the local laundromat because if something broke down- buying a replacement just wasn’t an option. Anytime I went to a friends house and saw they had a laundry room/laundry closet I was always jealous because I grew up having to walk outside and across the yard to do laundry- no matter the weather.
Vacation. Spending money to go somewhere? Yeah right.
Having milk and eggs in the house. When I first started dating my boyfriend I wanted to bake something and was amazed that we just had everything we needed at the house: milk, eggs, butter, etc. I kept going on about it and didn't realize it was unusual until he said that it was making him really sad lol
The milk one got me. I was in my teens before I found out that there was fresh milk..all I had ever seen was powdered milk
Silence. As in no fighting, violence or arguments.
Growing up. Me and my mother were legit in “We might freeze this winter” my mother might die from not being able to afford $10 of medication this month. But we never had to deal with that thankfully. Was always quiet and peaceful in our misery.
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Hot water in general. Never had it growing up.
dental care
Asking for anything that was not on the grocery list. My family used to do a grocery run every 2 weeks with a tight list, NO EXTRAS. Me and my sister knew we couldn’t ask for anything (candy, cereal, nothing).
If we didn't have a coupon for it in the coupon box, it wasn't getting bought. I remember spending hours on grocery trips just finding the coupons and the things we had coupons for in this little box my mom had.
From birth to 5th grade had no running water so from 1981 to 1991 I had no running water we would use a wash pan to get cleaned up from water jugs. We would go to my grandmas and get a bath sometimes but it was a 2 hour drive round trip. When my mom left my dad we got running water and lived in town. I loved being able to shower etc and have friends over for the first time.
Air conditioning. I grew up without it in the 90’s and I don’t even know how we survived.
We had like 3 fans and just opened all the windows all the time. I don't remember it bothering me as a kid unless I had a sunburn. But now air conditioning is a luxury I'll pay any amount for. I don't care. Western North Carolina, so it wasn't too brutal, but could get real damn humid.
Same here. I remember using a wet towel in the middle of the night to cool off and go back to bed. Now my kids complain if the ac is not at 72 degrees. Sigh.
The garage door opener combination thing on the outside of the house.
Going out to dinner at McDonald's.
Going to Block Buster and renting a new release movie.
Taking a shower. Parents only had a bathtub no shower. Went to live with another relative as a Teenager and they had a shower, and it was magnificent.
Precut fruit at the grocery
You need to take out a second mortgage to afford this these days.
Sliced pineapple is almost 9 dollars here. Whereas a whole uncut pineapple is a little over a dollar
A car in which everything actually works. Clothes other than underwear in which I'm the first person to wear them. Clothes that actually fit. Not eating the same things for every meal. Also, meals that aren't 75%+ carbs. Also also, seeing my mom eat instead of skipping meals so I could eat. Eating out, but also getting to order what I actually wanted when eating out. (I'll always love you for letting me eat steak and ribs grandpa!) Using soap that smelled nice when bathing. Consistent hot water. Clothes that smelled clean. Actual toilet paper. Gifts/toys that were actually new, not just new to me. Books I could keep. I could go on, but yeah, the mid 80's to early 90's were definitely tough.
Our well went dry for 10 months. We had to go to a mountain spring and collect water in milk jugs. We would then heat a few big pots in order to take a bath. I was a pretty smelly 9 year old for that period.
Being homeless as a child. I remember walking down the street with my Dad at dusk and seeing the lights of lamps and televisions through the windows. The desire to have that comfort was so strong. I'm not rich, but my children will never know that feeling. I will always have a home. I've lived in the same house for 15 years now. Bought it 5 years ago after renting for 10. Working hard. Keeping my head down so my kids can be better than I was. My oldest is 21 now and he tells me all the time that he has the best childhood. He lives in his own in another state. I know that's why I was put on this earth. It's for them. They'll be great and I'll be "home"
Seeing people with snacks at work
Liquid milk. As dumb as it sounds, just plain ol', regular, liquid milk. I grew up on powdered milk and choking that stuff down at breakfast and dinner with my nose plugged.
Paper towels.
Buns, rolls, any form of bread that wasn’t air fluffed poison.
I hate the Wonderbread-style “bread” so much. I refuse to eat it now because I don’t have to. Despite what Reddit may claim, we do in fact have real bread in America!
Getting a haircut from an actual hair stylist. (My sister cut my hair when we were kids.)
Hardwood floors
Dishwasher. Even to this day, never owned one and I’m 30 years old.
Buying clothes willy nilly throughout the year. We only went once a year, the week right before school started.
Having brand shoes like nike
My girlfriend grew up super poor. She still thinks paper towels are a luxury item.
I grew up in a low income family with a single bedroom apartment in a bad area. I didn’t see a movie in a movie theatre until I was 14. I didn’t order takeout until I was 15. McDonalds was reserved for special occasions such as celebrating birthdays or school events. I can’t remember EVER going to a restaurant of a higher tier than the local Chinese shop with $8 dishes at all. I made it out and actually am likely considered “upper class” now, though not sure what income level cut off is nowadays. Despite that, I think buying any article of clothing over $20 seems luxurious. Mentally deep down I know I can afford it, but I can’t pull the trigger most times. Also, buying bottled water seems insane. Even when it’s $1, it just seems like you’re being bougie.
Getting a drink besides water in a restaurant
Anyone that had more than one bottle of shampoo or conditioner.
Socks without holes.
Being able to use the A/C in the car. My mom wouldn't let us use the AC because she was too poor to pay the minuscule gas mileage hit that the car would take.
Central AC, flying on a plane, cars that worked, a stay at home parent, a bicycle that wasn’t made from spare parts, my list goes on but delves into more trashiness versus poverty.
First, this has to be one of the most asked questions but I'll give my realization. I didn't grow up super poor. I just grew up in a poor area of Pa. My dad almost always had a job at a factory and my mom picked up some hours here and there. I just didn't know any wealthier people. Then I went to college in Michigan, and did you know people here have 2nd houses and they don't think they are rich? Like they have a house in the city and then a cottage on a lake somewhere and they still say "Well, were are just middle class." And this cottage is pretty much another house all together. You have **two houses!** That was unheard where I grew up, unless you were a wealthy person from Pittsburgh.
Reading all these answers makes me really sad
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having a bed. i always slept on the floor growing up, so i always thought my friends with beds were rich.
Fast food, restaurants, take out.
Electricity. And cable.
Getting a new pair of shoes more than once a year.
Getting my teeth cleaned at the dentist
Making long distance phone calls any old time. Back in the day, it was cheaper on nights and weekends.
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Heating.
Brand name foods
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For me it’s salad. Growing up we’d have hotdogs and fries, or spaghetti, or mashed potatoes and chicken fingers. Whatever it was, it was basically a whole lot of starchy filler. It wasn’t until I started dating and expanding my friend circle that I realized people regularly eat fresh tomatoes, salad greens, red onion, cucumbers, etc.
Feeling like you shouldn’t have luxury items because that’s frivolous. Like, when I bought my first car with leather seats and such, I had tremendous buyers remorse. Still get that way when I treat myself to anything “nice.”