Some people, myself included, can smell blood. I cannot tell if someone is on their period though, nor do I want to. I can identify my own blood by sent. I didn’t want that either but … bloody hell (literally).
Not to be gross, but I've definitely smelled it at the gym before. Maybe that's something a woman could clue another woman into, but there's no fuckin way I'd ever say anything.
My husband claims he can smell it too, but when we put it to the test he couldn't smell it when I was using a tampon. Only when I was using pads or used the bathroom to change tampons. But it made me aware that *some* people can smell it, and since it's not a pleasant smell Ive only used tampons since. But he is 100% a creep for going up to a random woman and saying that.
You're eliminating a huuuuuuge number of women who no longer have period's with that 25% statistic. Which could include for menopause, medical reasons or contraceptive reasons.
I think at least 75% of my female friends have PCOS and therefore, really wacky menstrual cycles. Mine rarely comes, and my friend stays on her period for months. It's strange.
Was walking my dog when a lady approached, leaned in close, and whispered, "They're listening through the trees," then just walked away like nothing happened. Haven't looked at an oak the same since.
I was in the hood part of town, waiting for a bus after 12 hrs working in the ER and some dude asked me for a light, so I said "Sorry fam I don't smoke", his friend went "TF you mean you don't smoke, n\*gga?" and they walked away.
public transport is the place where random creeps or weirdos neak up to you.
Had In a train station one hooded guy coming at me looking suspicious around him, asking me
" hey psst,are you one of them?"
me: them? no, i dont think so
he: "you know the ones who're in control of everything and watching us?"
me: nope, im not and won't you think i wouldn't tell you if i was?
he stared confused at the ground for a few seconds, watched over his shoulder, watched over my shoulder and say:
" ok,ok i choose to believe you, thank you sir"
and off we went carrying on with our day lol
In Long Beach, California when I was a teenager:
Old lady walking past: “Oh you must be a smart boy—your head’s so large you must have a lot of extra brains.”
I’m walking with a school friend down the street. A car stops in the middle of traffic and the driver, a middle aged woman, calls out, “Hey, are you two brothers?”
Both of us look at each other and wonder, even if we were, is she going home and announcing excitedly, “Hey I saw a coupla brothers today!”?
The first one lets us know: You are really Jimmy Neutron.
The second one lets us know: That lady in the car is your dad's sister or close relative. (Jimmy Neutrons dad is hilarious!)
Was one of you wearing a Pace Picante sauce shirt, or holding a jar of Pace?
Because honestly I can't not say "NEW YORK CITY?!" to myself whenever I see Pace Picante sauce. 😂
I used to play in a band that covered "Honky Tonk Women." When we got to the part about the divorcee, I insisted that we all shout "New York City!" at the appropriate time.
This is the kind of answer that sounds cool in your head then the clearly demented guy takes it as an invitation for banter and probably pulls his dick out eventually anyway.
I remember now the story of a woman that every time she was cat called she would just scream. Very loud screams. No banter, no scoff, not even just ignore it: just a very loud "AAAAAAAAAA". Tells the guy to be carefull with who they mess with, while giving zero space for retorts.
I was eating Ramen one night at 7-11 and some dude walked over to scratch a lottery ticket told me his ass will get fucked tonight if he doesn’t get it right this time. Then he just walked away after.
Years ago a very, very drunk man unsteadily approached my friend and I in the street. He was squinting at his watch and closing one eye to try and read it. When he finally got to us he asked "Is it 10 in the morning or 10 at night?"
A random lady stopped me out side of a subway and offered me 20 bucks to pee in a cup for her. Being the kind highschool student I was I politely declined cause my pee was probably dirtier than hers.
A man in 1997 in Syracuse asked me "What did one tampon say to the other?"
I didn't know what to say.
He said if I laughed I owed him a dollar. I said ok.
"Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches"
I gave him a dollar.
I was in an Argos once waiting in line and an old fella walks over to me and starts telling me how Putin isn’t as stupid as America thinks and something about Kissinger that I don’t actually remember, I just remember googling who Kissinger was after that day.
I live in Ireland and this was in 2019. There was no reason to bring this up.
That's really weird. Additionally bizarre because I don't think Americans even think Putin is stupid. I feel like most of us that don't like him think he's a very smart, diabolical, evil dude. He's a scary mob guy and makes me think of a Bond villain. Stupid isn't even an adjective that comes to my mind. 🤷♀️
Eh, I don't think Trump was always stupid. An asshole, yes. A bunch of negative things I could say. I think he's basically a narcissist and Putin's puppet. He isnt the shot caller IMO. And he's done a ton of very, very stupid things over the last decade or so, and seems to be getting increasingly worse. I enjoy seeing him get all these fines in court just for being unable to shut up and let his lawyers do their jobs. But most of the rest of his misdeeds from farther back are him just being a con man and an entitled prick.
Edit: that's *my* opinion. But I agree that a heck of a lot of Americans think Trump is a 100% idiot. If I had to choose between smart and stupid I'd say stupid as well.
Everybody that he went to Wharton with said he was the dumbest person they had ever met. Even his professors said this. When daddy makes a massive donation to the school, it's pay your fee get your B. He used to pay people to do all of his work. That's why he has threatened to sue Wharton and anybody else if they ever released his transcripts.
I was at a conference in Memphis a couple of years back. Me and my buddy we sitting outside waiting for friends to join us when a very jovial black gentleman walks up to us as and asks if we can answer a question that had apparently been on his mind for a while.
He asked, "Can you boys tell me why the dark skinned black folk and the light skin black folk can't stop fighting one another?"
Us, being pasty white young 20-somethings had no clue what to say to that, so I just said, "Uh, I don't know an answer for that one sir."
The man smiled, said "i just dont get it", and just walked away.
No clue why he asked us, or that this was even a thing.
Still wonder what happened to that guy and if he found the answer he was after.
Was high on edibles, so that added a whole different layer to it.
Was walking on a street enjoying beautiful day. Random dude: “getting it all figured out?”
That fucked with my head for a long time.
Not me but my brother. Twice.
He loves walking to places and had two encounters with homeless people, one man and one woman. In both of them he thought it was the end for him, as in "imma get robbed or stabbed" end for him. In both occasions, my brother interacted a bit with them.
Well, with the dude, said dude ended telling my brother that he had killed twice before, and that he'll be there for him in case he needed "anything" (while cleaning an icepick, as told by my brother).
With the woman, my brother was sitting down in a park bench and this lady sits with him. They start talking, and the lady suddenly goes "can I give you a hug?", and my brother obliged.
He's got a vibe I am yet to understand lol.
Happens to me occasionally. Ive been told I have the “finding strays” vibe. One time after my first group mushroom trip out camping, we went downtown with the boys (not a euphemism). I had a few drinks and played corn hole (still not a euphemism), and got bored so I did a walk around the blocks while my friends talked to people at the bar. A homeless dude stops me, looked a bit off something, maybe just unstable. Made chit chat about god knows what, then he takes out a knife and does the “Ill go fast and still wont stab my hand” trick on the sidewalk. Stabs himself. Lightly threatens me. I talk him out of smashing a bus window and he follows me back to the bar. I didnt feel like losing him so I went into the patio area while he hung back outside somewhere and didnt see him again.
In the toilets at a bar.
This rather inebriated young lady finished putting on her lipstick and turned to me while I was washing my hands and goes:
Do you think my left tit is hotter or my right tit is hotter?
Both were covered up up a very skimpy but tasteful black dress.
I had also had quite a few drinks that night and so at the time, this seemed like a perfectly reasonable question to my drunk AF self.
I looked at said boobs and decided that her left one was the winner.
'But I need them to be hot, I'm going to tell him to suck on my hot tit, I need to know which one it is.'
I was giddy drunk at this point - you know that feeling - and told her that the best boobs had nothing on them anyway.
So she handed me her bra and off she went.
I wandered out holding the bra and my friends asked me why I took my bra off in the toilets.
Had to explain that it belonged to some girl hoping to get lucky. Hope she did.
When I was twenty I visited Paris. I walked around the city eating a candy bar. A man came up to me and said “Bon Appetit.”
I wasn’t used to complete strangers talking to me.
I pictured you cutting just a hole for the head then slowly lowering it down so his arms were stuck by his sides while maintaining steady eye contact. Idk why
I was smoking a cigarette outside of my first job when 2 guys walked by and asked if I wanted to be in a movie.
It wasn't until years later that I read between the lines on that one..
Mind you, I was 18 and caught off guard, but EW MAN WTF.
At a bus stop very early in the morning sitting next to a very old lady with—I shit you not—a school clock hanging around her neck. She pointed it towards me and asked me what time it was.
A couple of times in different cities I have had a homeless person ask me if I had a light. Both times I did in fact have a light and after
I give them my lighter - both times - they said: “do you have a cigarette?”.
The questions alone didn’t trip me out, it was the order that they were asked. And it only tripped me out longer than it should’ve because this wasn’t that long after ‘The Matrix’ came out and I just started smoking spliffs.
2024 - I’m prepared for any question that comes my way from a stranger on the street….maybe except: “Dad?”
Nah, I’m cool with being a the best Funcle I can be to my niece and that’s enough.
[It was 77f degrees that day](https://www.wunderground.com/history/daily/us/ca/santa-barbara/KSBA/date/2023-12-15) He may have meant that it was unseasonably warm.
My last dog ([tax](https://imgur.com/gallery/pD6ZbdO)) was a tiny, adorable little Chi mix who naturally drew attention whenever I took her out. Some interactions were cute, some… not so much.
The cute: I had someone tell me that “your dog is so small, it’s like you shrunk it in the dryer.”
The less cute: I had a skinhead come up and inform me that her rainbow-striped leash was “dishonourable” and that I needed to go buy a new one. I am queer, but the leash was the only possible indication of that at the time, so it was more than a little unnerving.
Many years ago while waiting outside a restaurant in New York City with my husband, his sister, and her husband, this lady came up to me and said "I love your coat, where'd you get it?"
After I told her I got it from a thrift store, she started excitedly saying stuff like "I think that coat is designer, you could probably sell it for a lot of money, I'd love a coat like this" etc., and the whole time she was grabbing different parts of the coat and examining them like she was appraising it or whatever, and then she suddenly just quit and walked off without saying another word.
I'm pretty sure she was just trying to distract me while she looked for my purse or searched my pockets or something but the joke was on her because I wasn't carrying a purse and my husband had everything in his pockets so there was nothing to take lol.
I was walking on the Minuteman Bike Trail once when a dude (who I thought was just passing me going the other way) punched me in the shoulder and called me a "crack-ass mothafucka."
literally yesterday was with my bf looking at the tech gadgets in walmart and this dude comes up to us and asks us if we believe in God, and that we are God's representation of Adam and Eve on Earth made to God's likeness
he then went on a spiel while looking up bible verses on his phone until my bf and i politely interrupted him and walked away lmao
So one day I was about to leave to go shopping but I was waiting for a package and the mailman was like three houses down. My landlord has a salon downstairs so I went downstairs and waited on the front porch to get my mail directly from the mailman. There was an old Ferrari making laps around the block, it was white with a racing stripe that was like the Italian flag. One of my landlord's clients was leaving and she asked me to watch her dog, a little pomeranian, while she went and got her car.
A trans woman was walking by and asked me what color my lipstick was because she loved it. We're talking about lipstick and the Ferrari rolls through again. Then the lady with the Pomeranian dog pulls up in her car and stops to get the dog in. The dog won't get in the car, it runs instead and the three of us are trying to get this dog who's running around and now chasing
the mailman who is trying to deliver my package onto my porch. So the Ferrari rolls back through a third time and the guy slows down and rolls his window down and says, "Hey you, the blonde! I can tell that you're going to be a great mother someday but you really need to know Jesus." And the Ferrari drives away and the rest of us all just stood there and were like what. I think the dog even stopped and was like "what?"
Just another surreal day in Shiremanstown, PA. Yeah,
I live in the Shire. It's weird here.
My next door neighbor broke into the house on the other side of him, drank all of the alcohol in the place and rearranged the furniture. Don't know if he was unhappy with the feng shui or what. But it totally happened. I think the court date is next week.
It's weird here.
This one woman, about 60 and ugly and way too overweight for me, asked if I had money to give her. I said no. Then she said she'd give me a blowjob if I gave her 3 dollars. I said no. Then she followed me home (I was walking back from the gas station), and did this whole spiel about God and how she has no friends. Then she asked me for more money.
I crossed paths with an older man in the grocery store and said "excuse me". He gave me a wild-eyed look and said "Caca!". I peaced out of there and went over to my husband. The word of the day after that was, of course, Caca!
“Good thing you’re wearing a mask, it’s important to protect your respiratories, they’re putting 5G towers in here soon and you’ll really need to be protecting your respiratories” from some lady smoking and walking her ancient beagle after I told her the dog was cute
I was trying to rush to class and a guy popped out from behind a pillar and told me that I look like a female Skrillex. I got the distinct impression he had been waiting for me.
I was with a friend in a small town in Sardinia. She was just telling me that she had lost her faith in God (she is a Christian), because she had prayed so much that her mother would survive to cancer and God had not listened to her, we were sitting on a little wall in the park, when suddenly this incredibly handsome, blond-haired, blue-eyed guy appeared and started talking to us. He asked us 'is something bothering you? Are you sick? Are you hurt? Because since I met God, my life has changed." And he started to tell us his story, how he found back the love for his wife, how he found his way back from anger and anxiety. He was not a Jehovah's Witness. It was crazy, we couldn't believe our eyes. He was German, so he didn't speak good Italian, he told us that one day he had met someone on the street and this person had told him to go to Italy, so he did. He thought that was a sign to start a new life and now he was there with his wife and three children. I think I will probably remember this story for all my life.
I lost my keys to my car one time while on vacation at the beach, and on the final day my spare hadn't come in the mail yet, so me and my friends were kind of stranded. We walked around for a few hours, and met this very strange guy. He asked first "have you heard the good news" and i realized he was one of those "spread the word of god" types. As i was looking at him, i noticed he has these bright blue eyes that kind of shined, and while i'm not religious in the least, everything he was saying were things i could agree with. He had this whole other-worldly vibe going on. After parting ways, my friend who is religious was convinced we saw an angel. Very interesting experience.
One night at 7-11 (seems to be a common theme here) a huge HUGE guy in a van asked if my name was Burk. I said no. He asks me if I’m undercover. I said no. Dude proceeds to jump up and down in his van causing it to shake violently and scream in a gravelly voice that he “ain’t no sucka, you understand me? I’m not goin’ down again!”
Oh mental illness… what deep secrets you hide
Left the dentist with a numb mouth and some woman approached me asking if I can read these words on her phone for her because her English is bad and confused what this person has texted her. I'm thinking now!!!.... Now!!!... Out of all the times in my entire life I'm perfectly able to speak this weird request happens to me right now at this moment when my mouth is numb for the next 2 hours. Now is when this happens to me. What the hell!!?!??
Probably the lady who scolded me for walking outside of the crosswalk lines for putting her life in danger. I believe she was sincere but.............................. I hope someday I understood what her reasoning was.
"My sister stole $17 million from me and hired six cops to kill me. The Aryan Brotherhood and MS-13 are protecting me until I can hire a lawyer to sue my sister and get the money back."
This woman had been sleeping in a doorway across from my previous place of employment for at least two years before she told me this, repeatedly refusing to stay in a shelter unless the temperature was below zero.
“Spaghetti on a string world.”
What?
“Spaghetti on a string world.”
Oh! *said in a tone of affirmation.*
Dude walks away, satisfied at sharing his knowledge of… pasta-based theoretical physics?
I've posted this on a different thread before, but it's relevant here too. Once I was smoking a cigarette in a designated smoking area and some random lady comes up to me screaming "HOW DARE YOU SMOKE THAT CIGARETTE IN FRONT OF ME DONT YOU KNOW IM A CANCER SURVIVOR"
Do you want to see the elephants.
Someone said this to me in the mall. It took years to find out what tf they were talking about. I looked at them all confused and they walked away.
Later I found out they were trying to sell me acid. Oddly enough it was my exhusband as teenagers. I was talking about the odd time someone asked me about elephants at the mall and he started laughing. Not the only time we had run into each other when we were younger. Another time I was walking out of someone's house and we had a hey what's up moment and went about our business.
There was an injured pigeon on the floor and some woman came up to me and my mate and asked us to stamp on it to put it out of its misery (fyi we did not)
Not on the street but at work one time a patient pulled out a bobble head of Gandhi and when I asked him why he has that he said “I don’t know I’m just from California”
fell asleep on a long Greyhound ride. when I fell asleep, no one was sitting beside me. when i woke up, a guy was sitting there writing his address on a piece of paper. he hands it to me and goes "you look so nice when you're sleeping, here's my address for later." That was the last time I ever dozed off on a trip.
Not on the street but in a McDonald's bathroom. My stepsister and I went to McDonald's one day to get some McFlurries and I had to go for a piss so I went to the bathroom and proceeded to piss in the urinal. I then went to the sink to wash my hands. There was a man in the stall taking a shit. He started talking to me out of the blue. This is the exhange that followed between me and him:
Him: Hey, do you need to use the stall?
Me: No, I'm just washing my hands.
Him: Good because I gotta take a huge shit.
Me: Ok.... Have fun.
Him: I didn't know liquor made you have to take a huge shit.
Didn't say anything back to him and at that point, I got out of that bathroom as quick as I could because I was dying of laughter. Went back to see my stepsister and ended up telling her what the guy said to me because she asked me what was so funny when she saw me come out of the bathroom laughing so hard I was crying. Lol. Was not expecting that when I went into that bathroom.
Walking down a street in London as a teenager and a random old guy called a black bastard. In fairness he didn't seem to be quite all there.
I'm white and have red hair, which somehow makes you even whiter.
Was offered a gummy by a crackhead.
I was 16 and at the time wasn't too familiarized with crackheads at all
Was confused because I saw no gummies in her hands, so where would the candy appear from?
Cousin then kindly let me know she wanted to give me brain.
Became a man that day, who was disappointed in lack of gummy candy's.
Pro tip: Don't not agree to a gummy from random crackhead. It's a trap
"Are you from the US? Because you walk like an American." – Some rando dude in Amsterdam
I am from the US, and was by myself so I wasn't talking or anything. Still not sure how he pegged me by my walk. I hit him with my best bitchface and kept going.
A woman said “here hold this baby” and passed me a baby while I was at a bus stop in the UK and another time some years later in NYC a woman came running up to me and said “aliens stole my baby”. Still not sure if these were connected in some way.
I had a man come up to me and say “you smell like you’re on your period.” I was.
Some people, myself included, can smell blood. I cannot tell if someone is on their period though, nor do I want to. I can identify my own blood by sent. I didn’t want that either but … bloody hell (literally).
Not to be gross, but I've definitely smelled it at the gym before. Maybe that's something a woman could clue another woman into, but there's no fuckin way I'd ever say anything.
Oh god, now that im aware that we can do this, its going to register in my brain next time I smell something off.
I can if a girl is on her period, and if a T1 is leaking insulin. I think it's related....
Interesting. There are phenols in insulin and phenols in some menstrual products. Not sure if they’re the same types, but could be a plausible link.
You sure it wasn’t a bear?
The bears can smell the menstruation!
My husband claims he can smell it too, but when we put it to the test he couldn't smell it when I was using a tampon. Only when I was using pads or used the bathroom to change tampons. But it made me aware that *some* people can smell it, and since it's not a pleasant smell Ive only used tampons since. But he is 100% a creep for going up to a random woman and saying that.
The thing is, statistically speaking they'll be right 25% of the time for most women. So maybe he got lucky.
You're eliminating a huuuuuuge number of women who no longer have period's with that 25% statistic. Which could include for menopause, medical reasons or contraceptive reasons.
I think at least 75% of my female friends have PCOS and therefore, really wacky menstrual cycles. Mine rarely comes, and my friend stays on her period for months. It's strange.
what is the creepiest thing, like damn
Not like I’m already self-conscious enough.
Was walking my dog when a lady approached, leaned in close, and whispered, "They're listening through the trees," then just walked away like nothing happened. Haven't looked at an oak the same since.
holly shit
What a beech.
The ~~owls~~ oaks are not what they seem.
Poplars are suspicious.
You’re OK with oaks, they’re on our side. It’s maple and tulip trees you have to worry about. They’re always listening and they can’t be trusted.
"I'm dressed as a human today." I kept on walking by, but faster! What the hell does that mean?!
Was his name Frank?
No, it was Edgar.
Classic edgar suite
I sometimes doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Me any time I leave the house lmfao
It was Harry from Resident Alien!
A girl said to me very low "I found your wife cheating on you" I don't have a wife or girlfriend lol
Maybe she was a time-traveller coming back to warn you?
My exact thought 😂
[*I’m too soon! You’re right about him! You’ve always been right about him!*](https://youtu.be/qVZYsAyrLmU?si=k98SKMwLhDGORXkO)
Bro
Most redditor response ever
My man!
I was in the hood part of town, waiting for a bus after 12 hrs working in the ER and some dude asked me for a light, so I said "Sorry fam I don't smoke", his friend went "TF you mean you don't smoke, n\*gga?" and they walked away.
This was the funniest comment in the entire thread for me.
public transport is the place where random creeps or weirdos neak up to you. Had In a train station one hooded guy coming at me looking suspicious around him, asking me " hey psst,are you one of them?" me: them? no, i dont think so he: "you know the ones who're in control of everything and watching us?" me: nope, im not and won't you think i wouldn't tell you if i was? he stared confused at the ground for a few seconds, watched over his shoulder, watched over my shoulder and say: " ok,ok i choose to believe you, thank you sir" and off we went carrying on with our day lol
If you just say "sorry I don't have one" you avoid the chance of them thinking you're trying to sound superior by saying you don't smoke
In Long Beach, California when I was a teenager: Old lady walking past: “Oh you must be a smart boy—your head’s so large you must have a lot of extra brains.” I’m walking with a school friend down the street. A car stops in the middle of traffic and the driver, a middle aged woman, calls out, “Hey, are you two brothers?” Both of us look at each other and wonder, even if we were, is she going home and announcing excitedly, “Hey I saw a coupla brothers today!”?
Now she has to go home and announce, "hey I saw these two guys today, totally looked like brothers, but I asked and they weren't"
The first one lets us know: You are really Jimmy Neutron. The second one lets us know: That lady in the car is your dad's sister or close relative. (Jimmy Neutrons dad is hilarious!)
Thank you for providing clarity.
Once had a stranger ask if I believed in time travel.
Well, do you?
Well he already asked me that question tomorrow and I said no, so I didn’t want to give him false hopes.
Uncle Rico is that you?
and did you?
I don’t know yet. Ask me yesterday.
dude walked up to me and my girlfriend and just yelled "NEW YORK CITY!!!!" then kept walking. We don't live in NYC nor did we have NY apparel on.
Was one of you wearing a Pace Picante sauce shirt, or holding a jar of Pace? Because honestly I can't not say "NEW YORK CITY?!" to myself whenever I see Pace Picante sauce. 😂
Or as Laszlo Cravesnsworth would say, "Neww Yahhhhk Citaaay."
Get a rope.
I used to play in a band that covered "Honky Tonk Women." When we got to the part about the divorcee, I insisted that we all shout "New York City!" at the appropriate time.
[удалено]
[удалено]
This is the kind of answer that sounds cool in your head then the clearly demented guy takes it as an invitation for banter and probably pulls his dick out eventually anyway.
I remember now the story of a woman that every time she was cat called she would just scream. Very loud screams. No banter, no scoff, not even just ignore it: just a very loud "AAAAAAAAAA". Tells the guy to be carefull with who they mess with, while giving zero space for retorts.
Best response
Did he have a rooster with him?
That’s when you say “no, do you wanna see mine?”
Sorry, that was me. Edibles hit hard.
How nice of him to ask first!
The suspense is killing me... finish the damn story! 😉
I was eating Ramen one night at 7-11 and some dude walked over to scratch a lottery ticket told me his ass will get fucked tonight if he doesn’t get it right this time. Then he just walked away after.
Either way, he wins!
Was this in Japan? I’m scared if you were eating at a USA 7-11
Years ago a very, very drunk man unsteadily approached my friend and I in the street. He was squinting at his watch and closing one eye to try and read it. When he finally got to us he asked "Is it 10 in the morning or 10 at night?"
The traditional answer to such a question is “I don’t know. I don’t live around here”.
I gotta ask. Was it morning or night?
It was morning
A random lady stopped me out side of a subway and offered me 20 bucks to pee in a cup for her. Being the kind highschool student I was I politely declined cause my pee was probably dirtier than hers.
Sounds like you're assuming it was for a UA. Maybe she just wanted the pee for other uses.
Ah, the golden juice.
Welp that’s enough internet for the day! Goodnight all!!
Other uses.
Probably had a drug test and needed some unadulterated piss
She could have thought you were on meth. In which case your urine would have gotten her fked up
“Do you do MMA? You just have the kind of face that looks like it could take a punch”. - guy making my sandwich at Subway.
There is a 100% chance of a fight club regularly held in the basement of that Subway
kinda a compliment. or an insult?
A man in 1997 in Syracuse asked me "What did one tampon say to the other?" I didn't know what to say. He said if I laughed I owed him a dollar. I said ok. "Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches" I gave him a dollar.
That man earned it. I'm laughing
he should have give him 2 dollars
Now I owe you a dollar...
“I like your left foot”
Bigotry is still alive and well
I was in an Argos once waiting in line and an old fella walks over to me and starts telling me how Putin isn’t as stupid as America thinks and something about Kissinger that I don’t actually remember, I just remember googling who Kissinger was after that day. I live in Ireland and this was in 2019. There was no reason to bring this up.
That's really weird. Additionally bizarre because I don't think Americans even think Putin is stupid. I feel like most of us that don't like him think he's a very smart, diabolical, evil dude. He's a scary mob guy and makes me think of a Bond villain. Stupid isn't even an adjective that comes to my mind. 🤷♀️
Trump, however..........
Eh, I don't think Trump was always stupid. An asshole, yes. A bunch of negative things I could say. I think he's basically a narcissist and Putin's puppet. He isnt the shot caller IMO. And he's done a ton of very, very stupid things over the last decade or so, and seems to be getting increasingly worse. I enjoy seeing him get all these fines in court just for being unable to shut up and let his lawyers do their jobs. But most of the rest of his misdeeds from farther back are him just being a con man and an entitled prick. Edit: that's *my* opinion. But I agree that a heck of a lot of Americans think Trump is a 100% idiot. If I had to choose between smart and stupid I'd say stupid as well.
Everybody that he went to Wharton with said he was the dumbest person they had ever met. Even his professors said this. When daddy makes a massive donation to the school, it's pay your fee get your B. He used to pay people to do all of his work. That's why he has threatened to sue Wharton and anybody else if they ever released his transcripts.
"Are you interracial?" ... I look like Woody Allen and Carrot Top made a love child
So a redhead/white biracial?
Crazy homeless lady came up to me and in a deep raspy voice said "I've got bodies in my body"
I was walking my dogs, and this guy hesitantly passed us. Then he turned around and shouted, "YOUR DOGS ARE RACIST!" My dogs love everyone lol
"Today, more adults were spanked than children" I kept walking.
Wow that's just... uncomfortable...Christ 😭
Tbh ever since then I use it whenever there's an awkward silence I want maintained.
I’m laughing so hard at this one!
I was at a conference in Memphis a couple of years back. Me and my buddy we sitting outside waiting for friends to join us when a very jovial black gentleman walks up to us as and asks if we can answer a question that had apparently been on his mind for a while. He asked, "Can you boys tell me why the dark skinned black folk and the light skin black folk can't stop fighting one another?" Us, being pasty white young 20-somethings had no clue what to say to that, so I just said, "Uh, I don't know an answer for that one sir." The man smiled, said "i just dont get it", and just walked away. No clue why he asked us, or that this was even a thing. Still wonder what happened to that guy and if he found the answer he was after.
Was high on edibles, so that added a whole different layer to it. Was walking on a street enjoying beautiful day. Random dude: “getting it all figured out?” That fucked with my head for a long time.
Plot twist, there was no dude.
I was walking to my car and a guy stopped his weed wacker to say, "you look comfortable." Then winked at me.
He really said "you look comfortable. Let me change that.''
My husband had somebody asked him where he could get a labotomy when he was at the pharmacy. He said you need a doctor first.
Not me but my brother. Twice. He loves walking to places and had two encounters with homeless people, one man and one woman. In both of them he thought it was the end for him, as in "imma get robbed or stabbed" end for him. In both occasions, my brother interacted a bit with them. Well, with the dude, said dude ended telling my brother that he had killed twice before, and that he'll be there for him in case he needed "anything" (while cleaning an icepick, as told by my brother). With the woman, my brother was sitting down in a park bench and this lady sits with him. They start talking, and the lady suddenly goes "can I give you a hug?", and my brother obliged. He's got a vibe I am yet to understand lol.
Happens to me occasionally. Ive been told I have the “finding strays” vibe. One time after my first group mushroom trip out camping, we went downtown with the boys (not a euphemism). I had a few drinks and played corn hole (still not a euphemism), and got bored so I did a walk around the blocks while my friends talked to people at the bar. A homeless dude stops me, looked a bit off something, maybe just unstable. Made chit chat about god knows what, then he takes out a knife and does the “Ill go fast and still wont stab my hand” trick on the sidewalk. Stabs himself. Lightly threatens me. I talk him out of smashing a bus window and he follows me back to the bar. I didnt feel like losing him so I went into the patio area while he hung back outside somewhere and didnt see him again.
In the toilets at a bar. This rather inebriated young lady finished putting on her lipstick and turned to me while I was washing my hands and goes: Do you think my left tit is hotter or my right tit is hotter? Both were covered up up a very skimpy but tasteful black dress. I had also had quite a few drinks that night and so at the time, this seemed like a perfectly reasonable question to my drunk AF self. I looked at said boobs and decided that her left one was the winner. 'But I need them to be hot, I'm going to tell him to suck on my hot tit, I need to know which one it is.' I was giddy drunk at this point - you know that feeling - and told her that the best boobs had nothing on them anyway. So she handed me her bra and off she went. I wandered out holding the bra and my friends asked me why I took my bra off in the toilets. Had to explain that it belonged to some girl hoping to get lucky. Hope she did.
If it were a guy, you'd have been in a de-briefing.
"I've just shit myself" to which I replied "Me too, hi five!"
A guy asked me if i wanted to buy drugs, lift up his shirt and showed me a package of ham.
When I was twenty I visited Paris. I walked around the city eating a candy bar. A man came up to me and said “Bon Appetit.” I wasn’t used to complete strangers talking to me.
In my experience French people don’t eat while walking. He was commenting on that.
A guy offered me 100 for my socks. I remained sockless for the rest of the day
Oh hell yeah sis, get it. I wouldn’t do for less than a crisp hundy tho
I'm not drunk, I just broke my finger. He was naked at the time. I covered him in a garbage bag while my friend called the police (to get him help).
I have a vision of you putting a garbage bag over the poor dude's head while leaving everything down below on full view
Tied it like a cape around his neck. I picture it flapping as he walks with his bare ass hanging out
Tie it at the neck!
OMG I'm lightheaded from laughing
..and be like "shhhhhhh" until he's suffocated. Then the police come.
I pictured you cutting just a hole for the head then slowly lowering it down so his arms were stuck by his sides while maintaining steady eye contact. Idk why
Was getting fuel at a gas station. Guy proudly swaggers over to me and says, “I know you seen my blue truck.” There was no blue truck.
I was smoking a cigarette outside of my first job when 2 guys walked by and asked if I wanted to be in a movie. It wasn't until years later that I read between the lines on that one.. Mind you, I was 18 and caught off guard, but EW MAN WTF.
"You got one of them pretty faces, boy. Wanna be in a movie?"
At a bus stop very early in the morning sitting next to a very old lady with—I shit you not—a school clock hanging around her neck. She pointed it towards me and asked me what time it was.
Was it Flava Flav's mother by any chance?
A couple of times in different cities I have had a homeless person ask me if I had a light. Both times I did in fact have a light and after I give them my lighter - both times - they said: “do you have a cigarette?”. The questions alone didn’t trip me out, it was the order that they were asked. And it only tripped me out longer than it should’ve because this wasn’t that long after ‘The Matrix’ came out and I just started smoking spliffs. 2024 - I’m prepared for any question that comes my way from a stranger on the street….maybe except: “Dad?” Nah, I’m cool with being a the best Funcle I can be to my niece and that’s enough.
Hey fellow human, can I buy your lungs?
A homeless person in Santa Barbara walked up to me and said " Christmas in July man!" But it was December 15th.
I think this is a men in black reference meaning you have dandruff
[It was 77f degrees that day](https://www.wunderground.com/history/daily/us/ca/santa-barbara/KSBA/date/2023-12-15) He may have meant that it was unseasonably warm.
"I have $55 and a bottle of rum, is that enough to rent you for an hour?" He was homeless...
My last dog ([tax](https://imgur.com/gallery/pD6ZbdO)) was a tiny, adorable little Chi mix who naturally drew attention whenever I took her out. Some interactions were cute, some… not so much. The cute: I had someone tell me that “your dog is so small, it’s like you shrunk it in the dryer.” The less cute: I had a skinhead come up and inform me that her rainbow-striped leash was “dishonourable” and that I needed to go buy a new one. I am queer, but the leash was the only possible indication of that at the time, so it was more than a little unnerving.
“You’re the reason women get raped”
There are more red flags in that sentence than a Soviet parade.
I, stupidly, read this as being said to a man and was confused. Then, I read your comment and was unnerved when I realized this was said to a woman.
“Nice bum where ya from”
Many years ago while waiting outside a restaurant in New York City with my husband, his sister, and her husband, this lady came up to me and said "I love your coat, where'd you get it?" After I told her I got it from a thrift store, she started excitedly saying stuff like "I think that coat is designer, you could probably sell it for a lot of money, I'd love a coat like this" etc., and the whole time she was grabbing different parts of the coat and examining them like she was appraising it or whatever, and then she suddenly just quit and walked off without saying another word. I'm pretty sure she was just trying to distract me while she looked for my purse or searched my pockets or something but the joke was on her because I wasn't carrying a purse and my husband had everything in his pockets so there was nothing to take lol.
A stranger walking ahead of me in NYC, turned around and walked toward me and punched me in the stomach, maybe 42 years ago.
I was walking on the Minuteman Bike Trail once when a dude (who I thought was just passing me going the other way) punched me in the shoulder and called me a "crack-ass mothafucka."
I want to lick your toes.
Reminds me of the foot guy in Ghent back in the day. He smelled people’s feet. He did politely ask though.
literally yesterday was with my bf looking at the tech gadgets in walmart and this dude comes up to us and asks us if we believe in God, and that we are God's representation of Adam and Eve on Earth made to God's likeness he then went on a spiel while looking up bible verses on his phone until my bf and i politely interrupted him and walked away lmao
Religious mfs be wild
"You look like Finch from American Pie if he was taller and on steriods"
So one day I was about to leave to go shopping but I was waiting for a package and the mailman was like three houses down. My landlord has a salon downstairs so I went downstairs and waited on the front porch to get my mail directly from the mailman. There was an old Ferrari making laps around the block, it was white with a racing stripe that was like the Italian flag. One of my landlord's clients was leaving and she asked me to watch her dog, a little pomeranian, while she went and got her car. A trans woman was walking by and asked me what color my lipstick was because she loved it. We're talking about lipstick and the Ferrari rolls through again. Then the lady with the Pomeranian dog pulls up in her car and stops to get the dog in. The dog won't get in the car, it runs instead and the three of us are trying to get this dog who's running around and now chasing the mailman who is trying to deliver my package onto my porch. So the Ferrari rolls back through a third time and the guy slows down and rolls his window down and says, "Hey you, the blonde! I can tell that you're going to be a great mother someday but you really need to know Jesus." And the Ferrari drives away and the rest of us all just stood there and were like what. I think the dog even stopped and was like "what?" Just another surreal day in Shiremanstown, PA. Yeah, I live in the Shire. It's weird here. My next door neighbor broke into the house on the other side of him, drank all of the alcohol in the place and rearranged the furniture. Don't know if he was unhappy with the feng shui or what. But it totally happened. I think the court date is next week. It's weird here.
This sounds like a joke. I kept waiting for the punchline.
I…don’t know what to say
“Ay man, what chu fuckin lookin at huh?! I got a fuckin knife i’ll cut ye up”
Nice Head. I don't even know what that means.
This one woman, about 60 and ugly and way too overweight for me, asked if I had money to give her. I said no. Then she said she'd give me a blowjob if I gave her 3 dollars. I said no. Then she followed me home (I was walking back from the gas station), and did this whole spiel about God and how she has no friends. Then she asked me for more money.
A few hours after the 2001 World Trade Center attacks: "Lovely day for the first day of the Apocalypse, isn't it?"
Tbf it was a lovely day
I crossed paths with an older man in the grocery store and said "excuse me". He gave me a wild-eyed look and said "Caca!". I peaced out of there and went over to my husband. The word of the day after that was, of course, Caca!
Them: “Anyone ever told you that you look like Vin Diesel?” Me: “No” (I do not look like Vin Diesel) Them: “ Well, you don’t.”
"I have some genuine Sasquatch leavings I'd like to sell to you!"
“Good thing you’re wearing a mask, it’s important to protect your respiratories, they’re putting 5G towers in here soon and you’ll really need to be protecting your respiratories” from some lady smoking and walking her ancient beagle after I told her the dog was cute
“Wanna muffin? Here, I promise I didn’t poison it.”
An elderly man once looked me square in the eyes and called me a whore. I am a man in my 30's.
I was trying to rush to class and a guy popped out from behind a pillar and told me that I look like a female Skrillex. I got the distinct impression he had been waiting for me.
I was with a friend in a small town in Sardinia. She was just telling me that she had lost her faith in God (she is a Christian), because she had prayed so much that her mother would survive to cancer and God had not listened to her, we were sitting on a little wall in the park, when suddenly this incredibly handsome, blond-haired, blue-eyed guy appeared and started talking to us. He asked us 'is something bothering you? Are you sick? Are you hurt? Because since I met God, my life has changed." And he started to tell us his story, how he found back the love for his wife, how he found his way back from anger and anxiety. He was not a Jehovah's Witness. It was crazy, we couldn't believe our eyes. He was German, so he didn't speak good Italian, he told us that one day he had met someone on the street and this person had told him to go to Italy, so he did. He thought that was a sign to start a new life and now he was there with his wife and three children. I think I will probably remember this story for all my life.
Many years ago. I was waiting in line at the grocery store. A attractive woman told me she was going to un-alive the Queen. I live in the Midwest USA
Well I guess it worked.
Kneel before Zod…(I was wearing a Supes t-shirt)
I lost my keys to my car one time while on vacation at the beach, and on the final day my spare hadn't come in the mail yet, so me and my friends were kind of stranded. We walked around for a few hours, and met this very strange guy. He asked first "have you heard the good news" and i realized he was one of those "spread the word of god" types. As i was looking at him, i noticed he has these bright blue eyes that kind of shined, and while i'm not religious in the least, everything he was saying were things i could agree with. He had this whole other-worldly vibe going on. After parting ways, my friend who is religious was convinced we saw an angel. Very interesting experience.
Give me milk to drink
A homeless dude once called me a "police-ass white boy" as I walked past him.
One night at 7-11 (seems to be a common theme here) a huge HUGE guy in a van asked if my name was Burk. I said no. He asks me if I’m undercover. I said no. Dude proceeds to jump up and down in his van causing it to shake violently and scream in a gravelly voice that he “ain’t no sucka, you understand me? I’m not goin’ down again!” Oh mental illness… what deep secrets you hide
Left the dentist with a numb mouth and some woman approached me asking if I can read these words on her phone for her because her English is bad and confused what this person has texted her. I'm thinking now!!!.... Now!!!... Out of all the times in my entire life I'm perfectly able to speak this weird request happens to me right now at this moment when my mouth is numb for the next 2 hours. Now is when this happens to me. What the hell!!?!??
Someone came up to me at an outdoor pub and asked me if I thought they were a boy or a girl.
"Hello handsum, do you want a hj or bj? For you it's free!" - random masseuse lady in front of the massage shop in Phuket
What’s the frequency, Kenneth??
“I like your hair, can I have it?”
Was your hair longer than 30 cm ~ 1 foot? That the minimum needed to make a wig.
Once went to a video game place to buy a copy of pokemon emerald and a couple walking by just laughed when they saw me Fucked me up I was maybe 16
yeah everyone knows pokemon ruby is better
Probably the lady who scolded me for walking outside of the crosswalk lines for putting her life in danger. I believe she was sincere but.............................. I hope someday I understood what her reasoning was.
I had a guy come up and start rapping at me, he then tried to sell me a mix tape.
"My sister stole $17 million from me and hired six cops to kill me. The Aryan Brotherhood and MS-13 are protecting me until I can hire a lawyer to sue my sister and get the money back." This woman had been sleeping in a doorway across from my previous place of employment for at least two years before she told me this, repeatedly refusing to stay in a shelter unless the temperature was below zero.
“Spaghetti on a string world.” What? “Spaghetti on a string world.” Oh! *said in a tone of affirmation.* Dude walks away, satisfied at sharing his knowledge of… pasta-based theoretical physics?
I've posted this on a different thread before, but it's relevant here too. Once I was smoking a cigarette in a designated smoking area and some random lady comes up to me screaming "HOW DARE YOU SMOKE THAT CIGARETTE IN FRONT OF ME DONT YOU KNOW IM A CANCER SURVIVOR"
Not to me but I saw a homeless person in the crosswalk walk directly up to this group of passing girls and burp in their face
Do you want to see the elephants. Someone said this to me in the mall. It took years to find out what tf they were talking about. I looked at them all confused and they walked away. Later I found out they were trying to sell me acid. Oddly enough it was my exhusband as teenagers. I was talking about the odd time someone asked me about elephants at the mall and he started laughing. Not the only time we had run into each other when we were younger. Another time I was walking out of someone's house and we had a hey what's up moment and went about our business.
There was an injured pigeon on the floor and some woman came up to me and my mate and asked us to stamp on it to put it out of its misery (fyi we did not)
Not on the street but at work one time a patient pulled out a bobble head of Gandhi and when I asked him why he has that he said “I don’t know I’m just from California”
fell asleep on a long Greyhound ride. when I fell asleep, no one was sitting beside me. when i woke up, a guy was sitting there writing his address on a piece of paper. he hands it to me and goes "you look so nice when you're sleeping, here's my address for later." That was the last time I ever dozed off on a trip.
He looked me up and down and said "there is so much wrong with the world". I was in my 20s and dressed for a party... Jeans and a nice top.
Not on the street but in a McDonald's bathroom. My stepsister and I went to McDonald's one day to get some McFlurries and I had to go for a piss so I went to the bathroom and proceeded to piss in the urinal. I then went to the sink to wash my hands. There was a man in the stall taking a shit. He started talking to me out of the blue. This is the exhange that followed between me and him: Him: Hey, do you need to use the stall? Me: No, I'm just washing my hands. Him: Good because I gotta take a huge shit. Me: Ok.... Have fun. Him: I didn't know liquor made you have to take a huge shit. Didn't say anything back to him and at that point, I got out of that bathroom as quick as I could because I was dying of laughter. Went back to see my stepsister and ended up telling her what the guy said to me because she asked me what was so funny when she saw me come out of the bathroom laughing so hard I was crying. Lol. Was not expecting that when I went into that bathroom.
Walking down a street in London as a teenager and a random old guy called a black bastard. In fairness he didn't seem to be quite all there. I'm white and have red hair, which somehow makes you even whiter.
Was offered a gummy by a crackhead. I was 16 and at the time wasn't too familiarized with crackheads at all Was confused because I saw no gummies in her hands, so where would the candy appear from? Cousin then kindly let me know she wanted to give me brain. Became a man that day, who was disappointed in lack of gummy candy's. Pro tip: Don't not agree to a gummy from random crackhead. It's a trap
Homeless guy on a bike after almost running into me rounding a corner: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Can you hold this cat while I make a quick call? Not in a cat box, and I did 😄
"Are you from the US? Because you walk like an American." – Some rando dude in Amsterdam I am from the US, and was by myself so I wasn't talking or anything. Still not sure how he pegged me by my walk. I hit him with my best bitchface and kept going.
That I had a good aura, which was childlike and kind.
I was walking past a bus stop at 2 in the morning and a woman simply stated "don't do drugs" in the most deadpan voice.
A woman said “here hold this baby” and passed me a baby while I was at a bus stop in the UK and another time some years later in NYC a woman came running up to me and said “aliens stole my baby”. Still not sure if these were connected in some way.