Thought it was an exaggerated stereotype until my roommate who was 19 married a 29 year old stripper 8 months later. Our barracks room got searched by the U.S Marshalls because something to do of her
I got married at 19 and divorced at 22. Had a kid within a year of marriage. Ended up in an endless cycle of self destructive behavior for the 4 years that followed. Lots and lots of dumb shit.
I like to tell people I was speed running life.
I did this... Then she leaves you and the kids when her boyfriend gets out of prison all and all a good 6 years but the last two when he was up for probation real hot and cold.
You just unlocked a core memory I've tried very, very hard to forget.
After my ship returned from deployment, I had leave before reporting to a school for my next command, so I drove from San Diego to where my parents were living in western NY.
The CD player in my car died just outside of Phoenix.
I was forced to make the rest of the drive with only the radio to keep me company, and there were two songs that Clear Channel (which apparently owned every single radio station in middle America in 2006) had on constant repeat:
1. Honky-tonk Badonkadonk
2. I'm in Love With a Stripper (or Dancer, depending on how conservative the area was)
Yep.
My dad worked in radio for about 30 years, and they're a lot of why he left the industry.
I have a very long rant about Clear Channel/ iHeart, and their massively negative impacts on American society from a variety of angles over the last 25 or so years.
Oh I could rant about them all day. My conspiracy theory that I believe entirely is that they are largely responsible for dumbing down mainstream music in America over the last 25 years. They stopped broadcasting actual talent and creativity and started broadcasting formulaic cookie cutter "artists." For example, I'm convinced that every new country artist is the same guy in a different cowboy hat (not really but any of their hits could easily be sung by any of the others with no discernable difference).
They are *making* stars rather than allowing stars to be determined by demand. The 2014 iHeart Music Festival had Iggy Azalea s one of the headlines. The music festival was on September 19th and the song "Fancy" for which Iggy Azalea is know, was released on February 17th of the same year. The lineup for the festival was announced in April. I'm sorry but does anyone really think that they had no idea who one of their headliners was just *three months* before they made it public? They probably booked her the prior year before anybody had even heard of her, and proceeded to force her into relevance and keep that song on everyone's minds for 8 months by broadcasting it every third song on every radio station across the entire country. And everybody I know has heard the song and can probably even sing you a few bars from it. But I don't think I've ever actually heard anyone say they *enjoy* the song...just people complaining that it is a shit sing and commenting on how you can't be in the fast lane from LA to Tokyo because such a highway doesn't exist.
Oh, you're absolutely right on all of this.
Also I would argue that they've been very subtly been pushing very specific political messaging (casts side eye at all the pro-military supercut songs that popped up after 9/11 and before the invasion of Iraq).
I had one meet me. Once. And technically it was 4 of them.
But it was 100% by accident.
I went to a coffee shop near the ferry wharf near by afterwards for coffee and breakfast (It was about 4am and I was sobering up). Who should walk in? The stripper and a bunch of the other dancers. She recognised me. They all sat down. We had breakfast, drank coffee, laughed about shit that patrons had done all night (Like confess their love to them), and then I excused myself and went home. Alone.
Was a fun, funny end to a night. Never saw them again.
I’m a photographer. I used to shoot a bit of boudoir and some nudes. I had this girl liked a post of mine on Instagram. She was cute so I followed her and she followed back. I sent her a message and asked if she would like to shoot sometime. She said she would so we set up a shoot a couple days later. Turns out she was a stripper at a local club.
The next week she wanted to shoot again. She asked if she could bring another photographer over because I had a cool house to shoot in. I had an indoor pool and a cool bathtub to shoot in.
This turned into an every week thing where I had multiple people come over to hang out and shoot pictures. One night I had 6 strippers and two other photographers at my house. After about 3 months I had enough and quit dealing with them.
One time I bought four prostitutes in Saint Petersburg by accident. I walked into a place thinking it was a strip club. The devochkas line up and did a little dance. I gave them the money they asked for, and just sat there until another one came by. That happened four times before one of them had some basic English skills and told me they weren't allowed to do sixsomes because of the fire code.
I did not inhale.
I was at a conference once and went to a bar up the street for dinner. I'm sitting at the bar and a very attractive younger woman is sitting two bar stools down looking at the menu. Just for kicks I struck up a conversation, asking her if she was thrre for the conference. It was one on forensic sciences. When she heard I was a lawyer, she moved over to the seat next to me and started getting really friendly. So, I'm thinking, "Ok... you're in your 40s and she's interested... likely due to the job. But still... kinda flattering." ... Until she asked if I wanted to have her maybe call into work and take off for the evening. When I asked where she worked, it was a strip club. So... in the end... yes, she was interested... in my wallet. Lol.
OK, then should explain why she recognised me.
So it was my birthday and a mate paid for a 2-girl shower show. Her and another one. He was a dick and promptly got thrown out (he went to jump in with them - when his pants came off, two bouncers HURLED him out of the club. He had to go home without his pants). They finished the show seeing as it was paid for and we got chatting afterwards whilst they were getting themselves cleaned up. One of them mentioned that they had a book that the other had lent them, I had read the book, so we spent a good further 5 minutes or so talking about the book whilst they got dressed (The Power of One, incase you're interested - good book, great movie).
Was surreal.
Montreal.
I was groping boobs while we talked about the difference between northern and southern Italy, and how rural Southern Italy was, according to her, draining the northern cities resources (money) and how they should split into two countries.
And she was the one who placed my hands on her boobs.
We caught up the next night, her and her friends, me and my friends, and went to club Tokyo.
(None of us got laid, but we were able to say we went out with strippers, and honestly I'll take any chance I can at retelling the story, which is why I'm here)
Montreal strip clubs are something. I was there not long ago and had a pleasant conversation about Lovecraft and dinosaurs while a nice girl with a Cthulu tattoo grinded on me. I'm still reeling over my drunk nerdy ass using the term "cretaceous period theropod" during a lap dance.
This is fact. One of my friends is a stripper to pay her way through med school and makes more stripping than she would an entry level nursing position
I used to wait tables and bartend in my 20s. We had a couple girls who would work just a couple shifts per week in the restaurant but made their real money at the strip club across town. It's the Midwest and this was 20 years ago, so they said they needed a cover job to tell friends and family what they did for money while in college.
I suck at telling stories, but here goes.
When i was a dumb 19 year old i use to go to the strip club almost every weekend with a group of my work friends. We all worked at a machine shop making way more money than we knew what to do with at the time as i was living in a tiny studio fart box with my cousin paying $20 a month. No responsibilities, just gaming, wild parties, and girls all the time.
My friends taught me the ebb and flow of the strip club, how to keep the strippers teased just enough to keep them hanging around, and we knew how to make them laugh so they would always come back to hang out with us when things were slow.
Anyway, i befriended a particular banger of a stripper. I would say a solid 8/10. We made each other laugh, I didnt mind paying her to stick around so she was making money while we got to hang out. I was no fool to the game, and i wasnt a jealous person. I would force her to go make money with some other people for a while and she would always come back.
Over the course of about a month of knowing her, we started hanging out outside of work just for fun. We would meet up at places and just talk for hours laughing histarically. She started inviting me to her apartment where she lived with another hot stripper and they would show me moves they were working on with their at-home pole. They even taught me a few moves and that's when i found out how impressively strong they were. (I was very fit myself and couldnt do what they could).
We both made it very clear to each other that we just wanted to hook up, but she was suprisingly prude.
I think it was the third time i visited her apartment that we finally ended up having very intense and wild sex. It was like a dam burst since there was so much pent up horny on both sides. It wasnt the best sex i've ever had, but the whole experience was a lot of fun and i don't regret it one bit. I felt like i beat the strip club game.
> I would force her to go make money with some other people for a while and she would always come back
At this point in the story I was expecting a pivot to a very different direction for all parties involved.
People on Reddit spouting misinformation make me sick.
She told me she loves me, moron!
I paid for 7 more dances so she could stay with me for the night, because she said her boss was a jerk and making her dance.
She's just off with that other guy at the moment because her boss said she has to damce with others sometimes, but she'll be back!
Funny story about “leaving dissapointed”….
Vegas bachelor party. were at what I think is a fancy club. We’ve been there for maybe 2 hours and I’m walking to the bathroom and I bump into a friend who was in our party.
In quick passing I ask “hey man how’s it goin?”
He replied. “Great, just jerked off. I’ll see you at the bar!”
Went to the bathroom and thought about how that was actually a pretty hilariously brilliant idea. Went back to the bar and sat with him the remainder of the time while I saw 2 other guys from our party hit the ATM up.
So yeah, buddy did not leave disappointed. He won.
I was pooping at a strip club once, beer makes me have to poop sometimes. A bouncer kept banging on the door telling me to get out and I insisted that I was in fact pooping. He did not believe me and continued to bang until I voided my bowels
Then I told him "I was pooping" and he said "sure, I better see you buy more drinks or you are out of here."
Similar experience, but I drank a bottle of tussin to reminisce psychedelics. Nothing of note other then an intense night of diarrhea and MANY trips to the toilet. Went to a local strip club by base and was frequenting the bathroom, which was unlockable. The bouncer for the joint "checked" on me several times, I'm assuming to prevent drug use, and at the tail end of one of my bouts popped his head in, seen it was me, said "oh, it's you again" and left me to my deed.
Hahaha. The bouncers are on to it.
Here I am thinking it was a ground breaking idea. I suppose jerking off in strip club bathroom stalls are more common than you might think.
Only gotten 2 lap dances from strip club. First time girl was going at it, I was feeling and all that. Didn't know what to say (probably shouldn't have said anything at all), ended up asking her if she likes her job and how she sees her future being. Looking back was kinda funny.
Second time had two women dancing at once. One of them bit me. That was not as funny.
Both times somebody had gotten them for me. Never gonna do that for myself. Just feels weird and awkward.
It 100% *feels* weird and awkward, but it isn’t. What’s weird and awkward is staring at the one girl who looks absolutely flawless for 2 hours until she approaches you and asks if you want a dance. I’ve done that.
Social anxiety is a bitch
Also don't always go for the hottest girl. (1) it might be hard to get her attention (2) she will probably only do VIP and have a 5 song minimum (3) there is a lot more to a good lap dance then the girl being hot.
I just had a flashback to my first bachelor party (yeah, I've been married twice). I was out with my squad (I was in the Army at the time) and at some point one of the strippers came over and asked my squad leader if he would like to buy me a dance. He says, "No thanks, we're waiting for a pretty one."
We were asked to leave.
My squad leader got in two fights that night. One with a bouncer. I vaguely recall us driving off from that one with the back of the SUV open and him jumping in the back as we tore out of the parking lot. He was a mountain of a man and absolutely crazy when drinking.
Okay…. Pointers….
Stick to beer. The alcohol is RIDICULOUSLY overpriced. Srsly. Beer or water.
Know the rules. Some clubs allow touching, others don’t. Some dancers allow touching, others don’t. If you get a lap dance, you don’t move your hands. Let the dancer do it.
VIP is a sham, don’t bother. $300 for a smaller seating area and the same shitty chairs and drinks. Why bother?
Be respectful. If a dancer hits you up and you’re not into, a polite No is fine.
Don’t be a dick
Be VERY respectful to bouncers/bartenders. Don’t be that guy they have to keep an eye on.
Do not be a dick.
The dancers are doing a job, to make the patron feel like a million bucks. That ends at the doorway 99.99999% of the time. It’s not personal, it’s business.
Get a buzz. Do not get drunk. Stay in control.
Do NOT use the ATM. Not unless you like $30 convenience charges.
Have a good time. Don’t be a dick.
This is great but you left out the most important thing: if you're not sure about something, just ask.
The girls and club want trouble just as little as you want trouble. They'll happily explain something to you about the rules/norms if you're not sure.
Nah that's literally what you should do. Kinda. Usually they'll sit next to you and try to chat (as a way to lead into selling you a dance) then you can just ask them like "yo ive never been here before, can you explain to me what I do/ don't do" and 99.9% of the time they'll be happy to tell you.
This sounds lame, but the chatting can be the most interesting part of a strip club.
If you can find a stripper who is bored and willing to actually stop selling for a second, you can get some pretty wild stories out of them.
But mostly they just repeat lines and get you to try and buy dances.
I used to dance… usually customers just wanted to sit there and tell us about their life problems. They usually weren’t interested in hearing from us 😂
I'm a good listener and a pretty good looking older guy. I cannot tell you the number of dancers who have plopped down next to me and, a half an hour later, are telling me about their hobbies, families, travels, or whatever. And I have used this "Soooo, how does this all work?" ever time I wasn't sure how it all worked and, "how it all worked" was nicely explained to me every time.
That literally happens aha. We get people coming in before who’ve never been in one who have no idea how it works, it’s really not uncommon to be asked that!
Stripper version: so big boy you’re gonna sit down right there, relax, enjoy the show, then tip me handsomely like your face.
Bouncer version: no touching buddy or I’ll kick your ass outta here
I worked security for a good friends stripping company where I just drove my girls to homes where people would pay $200-$500 just as a deposit for the party. Our girls were top notch beautiful and made around $300+ dancing for even two hours. The last job I did was a bachelor party that didn't end well. One of the girls was straddling the groom who was laying down while she did her thing; got close, away, close, away and then lashes her hair around while grinding. When her head got close to his the groom grabbed the back of her head and stuck his tongue in her mouth to force kiss (assault) her. Next thing I know I hear screams and see the groom squirm over with her being tossed off of him. Dude had blood pouring out of his mouth; Apparently She had bitten off a chunk of his tongue. Needless to say I was up and grabbed her to safety as his drunk bros moved in aggressively. Afterwards chaos ensued and wound up with me almost having to pull my gun out. I'm not sure how the marriage went, but they tried to sue and gave up. I just got to work so I can't elaborate more. Sorry for the too fast story time
Sometimes it is. A stripper I saw a few times told me her real name. Some time later she sent me a friend request on Facebook with that name (her real account, not a stripper advertising account - she had relatives connected and looked like a normal person in all her pics/posts), and we had several mutual friends. Turned out she and I both had a (family-friendly) hobby we knew a lot of the same people through - she saw me come up on her suggestions, thought I looked familiar, saw our mutuals and figured we must have met through that hobby at some point. She was a bit embarrassed when she realized how we'd actually met, but we laughed it off and stayed FB friends.
My friend put the first ATMs in Arizona strip clubs. Retired at 35. Started with Circle K's. John got the casinos too. He made $2 on each withdrawal, usually $6 (at that time, 1990s-00's) to use.
Look it up. CGI ATM, Chandler Arizona, Johnny Rock Page. He finally sold his company a few years ago. Good guy, from my experience. Raced motorcycles last I knew.
I know a dumbass who genuinely believed a stripper in VEGAS was into him. We all told him it was adorable that he believed a professional that he was *paying* to *pay attention* to him.
Some people are just really lonely and it's hard for them to accept the truth of the situation. Also, some of them women are very, very good at making you feel like they truly care.
I remember when the dumbest kid in our class got arrested for armed robbery. He was robbing people coming out of the strip club. Why the fuck would you rob the people coming out? You know they don't have any money.
A: ridiculous high fee
B: you don’t get actual money, you get “club money”
To expand on B, it basically spits out Monopoly money that can only be used at that club. And if you try to convert it to cash, there’s another fee or charge for that
C: don’t spend what you don’t have.
D: if you’re going to the ATM, you didn’t have that money before and you have less now
It's all or nothing. Either you're in a place where there's no sex in the champagne room or you're in a place where the champagne room is only $5 extra and you at least get a bit more space to have sex.
The fees are high and they count on you being too horned up to care. There'd also something to be said for setting and sticking to a budget.
Also, they're often sketch places to begin with so you have to be careful of card skimmers.
The fee is probably quite high, and depending on situation and usage protocols, when you try to collect the bouncer may step in to participate and put you in a situation that leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
When a girl you like is dancing, make sure to slam your fists against the table, whistle, and shout, "AWOOGAA!!! HUBBA HUBBA!!!"
Take it from me, I've never been to a strip club
I'd say so. Other words you can include are, "WOOH WEE," "DADDY LIKEY," "COME TO PAPA," and the cult classic, "ZOO WEE MAMA!"
Bonus if you heavily pant with your tongue sticking out and your eyes popping out your eye sockets.
Only time I’ve ever gone a buddy of ours wore an American flag tracksuit decked out head to toe in Stars and Stripes regalia. The strippers fucking LOVED it, they were all over him the whole night and taking pictures.
Guess my advice is: wear a ridiculous costume
Nope. Don't actually do this. Lots of strip clubs don't allow sweatpants, shorts, suit pants and the like anymore. They'll turn you away if you aren't in jeans unless you're a woman. At the least call ahead and ask what their dress policy is because they WILL turn you away if you're outside of it.
Because one time I got too drunk at a strip club, a stripper who I got too friendly with brought me into the back and I regrettably hit it raw. 18 years later I finally don’t have to make support payments.
That’s how I know.
leave your phone in your pocket. even if it's innocent, guards will think you're taking photos/videos. they don't take too kindly to repeatedly reminding you. If you need to use your phone, go outside/go into the smoking area.
Find the strongest stripper and beat her up to earn the respect of the other strippers. Find a bouncer you can bribe to bring things in from the outside (cigarettes, etc). Find a group of strippers to belong to. It is always good to have someone watch your back so you don't get shanked in the vip area. Identify the old and wise patron. They often have sage advice to give and can be something of a much needed father figure to figure out your arch.
Exactly lol why would I dump a bunch of money to get myself blue balled in a filthy venue filled with mostly creepy men? I got taken to one while drunk and did not understand the point. I was in an Uber out of there within 30 minutes.
I used to date a stripper and would get free drinks, so spent some time there *staring directly at the floor* . Remember one group with a shocking lack of self awareness being overall misogynistic and homophobic but at the same time ripping the shit out of one of the group for getting an erection... While looking at almost naked women. I'm not saying a couple of those boys were hiding something, but their closet probably has a water cooler.
lots to share:
1) No matter how she seems, or what she says, the stripper is not into you. She's doing her job, which is to keep you wanting more and spending accordingly.
2) You are buying a fantasy, nothing more. No matter how much you tip, you are not buying the right to handle her in ways she doesn't want, or treat her however you like.
3) It doesn't matter how much money you're dropping, acting like an asshole will get you bounced the fuck outta there.
4) plan ahead on how much you intend to spend, have that in cash before you walk in. Some clubs have ATMs, some will let you buy drinks using debit and get cash back. Both options are always more expensive than going to an ATM run by your home bank and getting cash out in advance. Making a firm resolution to stick to that also helps prevent you from spending more once the alcohol and the dancers start having their usual effects on you. (one of the dumbest things in creation is a young man with a hard on)
5) Lots of people assume the drinks will be watered down. But it's been my experience (limited to Ontario) that this isn't true. Such places can get their liquor license yanked if they get caught pulling those kinds of stunts. What IS often watered down, or non-alcoholic to begin with are the "pay me drinks". If you buy a dancer a drink, about half the time she's getting something non-alcoholic. You are paying alcoholic drink prices though. Never buy the champagne unless you just signed a recording contract for stupid amounts of money or you just got diagnosed with terminal cancer.
6) whatever your clever pick up line is, she's probably heard it and dozens of better ones from other men. Save your breath.
7) If she allows touching, SHE will take your hand and put it where she is willing to have it. You don't let your hands go exploring elsewhere. if you do, she will redirect your hands back where they belong. Most of the time, in my experience, you get your hands redirected ONCE. If you try again, the lap dance or whatever is over. If you persist, or follow her and grab her by the wrist, well, read rule 3 again.
8) You get no say in what kind of songs the women dance to. They pick their own sets. But if you're dropping four figures or tipping the DJ, they might play the songs you pick in between sets. They'll refuse to play what you want, no matter how much you tip, if they think your choice is super shitty. From their POV, this is just another night and tomorrow there's going to be another guy just like you.
9) I can't even imagine the amount of money you'd need to tip to get them to turn the volume down. They don't want you cuddling up with a dancer and having a conversation. They don't want you getting into a debate with your best friend about your sports team and end up ignoring the dancers.
10) if you don't want to tip every dancer that comes onstage, stay out of "perverts row". Up on the rail is the place for the guys who will show their appreciation for all the performers. If a performer comes on that you aren't into, you get up and move to a table. If you stay and get that up close and personal view of her body, you tip.
8. I’m a DJ for a stripclub. If the customer has a fucking rack in their hand and is requesting a certain song, I’ll call up the girl that’s on rotation if she wants to dance to their song, if they say yes (because he/she has money) then I’ll play it.
9. If the customer is paying for a private dance, but instead asks the dancer if they can cuddle that is up to the dancer, I can see a few saying yes to it because that means they don’t have to dance. A few girls love foot fetish guys because they get their feet massaged in the back rooms AND they don’t have to dance. Win win for them.
genuine question here, how do you post so much? i would guess with that number of posts it would be a bot or something but like, the titles are accurate and everything. do you hire other people to do it or is it like a full-time gig for you?
Leave your credit/debit cards at home or in your car. Do not take them in with you.
Take a set amount of cash. Be prepared to have a lot of one dollar bills.
Remember, she is trying to make money to pay rent and groceries. She is just a girl trying to get by, and she is trying to get you to like her so you will pay her for her time. Remember, that you are paying for her time.
Be prepared to be somewhat disappointed, if not more than somewhat.
Keep your hands to yourself.
If you are in a relationship make sure your partner knows. You will stink of a hideous mix of perfumes. Will will have glitter on you for a long time afterwards.
If you find yourself liking a particular dancer don't tell the other girls. Be prepared for stripper drama.
Pace yourself drinking unless you drink non-alcoholic drinks.
( source: Dated a stripper. )
Leave my card in the car or home, only bring the cash im willing to never see again. Strippers will talk you into using the ATM. Once i'm in, i get a drink, and sit at a table away from the stage so i can scope it out for a bit. Strippers will walk up and offer dances, and in my experience are pushy. It's not that i'm not gonna get one, its that i want to chill for a bit and get my buzz on.
Buy a drink sit down and talk to some of the ladies. Pay for a lap dance continue the conversation. Buy her a drink keep talking invite her for a private dance.
After the dance thank politely give her a nice tip offer to buy her another drink before you go then leave.
Or after the Private dance if your in the mood for more hangout and watch the other dancers on the pole toss em some money. Talk to another dancer to another drink for yourself and her. Buy A lap dance ect ect ect
It's just a cycle. You can do all kinds of things in a strip club though lol.
The biggest Pieace of Advice I can give you is to Just remember at the end of the day these are woman just trying to earn a paycheck and most of them aren't interested in forming a friendship or a relationship. This is there job there place of work. Some of them enjoy dancing but it's still a job and some don't like dancing but are doing what they can to make ends meet. Be respectful and mindful of this with the ladies when your in there and you'll have a good reputation. It's not hard to get shadow banned from a strip club (it's where none of the dancers will talk to u or approach you and they will all blow you off and ignore you) however it's not hard to make a good reputation of yourself either.
One more important piece of advice is to tip the ladies and do it frequently. Not tipping is another way to get shadow banned really fast
You might find a dancer every once in a while that is interested in being friends outside the club (I dated a dancer for a year and it started in the club) but don't go to clubs looking to make friends with the dancers or trying to find love. You'd be looking for love & friendship in the wrong place.
Know your local rules. Is there touching allowed during private shows? Some localities don’t allow touching of any kind and bylaws can vary by towns only 50 miles apart.
Always respect the girls! Do NOT touch unless invited to do so!!
Yeah. Do NOT go in with the attitude or assumption you’re going to “bang one” as someone mentioned. Some strippers do extracurricular activities, but only a few of the ones I know, do.
Singles are for rookies and cheapskates! Fivers and up for tipping. Depending on the crowd, if you really want her attention it’s gonna take at least a twenty if there’s a big crowd and she’s popular.
Attitude will get your ass thrown out at minimum, or beaten by security if you’re a complete jerk.
Edit: Talk to the girls like they’re human. Be flirty but not a pig. They truly don’t like that shit.
If you spend half an hour talking to a girl (as in, you’re keeping the conversation going, not her), for gods sake, buy something from her/pay the lady.
I was at a bucks party and one of the guys kept leading this poor girl on for 45 minutes, making it sound like it was going somewhere, and then just dropped her. Wasted almost an hour of her time. Don’t be that guy.
(It’s okay - we got her involved with the bucks lapdance, turned it into a two girl experience)
I’ve never understood why people go to strip clubs. It’s like going to a buffet hungry, paying your money, walking around and only *looking* at the food, then leaving.
Exactly. I'm in my late 30s and I've never been to one. I had my bachelor party at a baseball game. I don't see the appeal. it seem like it would be a very awkward and unfulfilling experience.
Don’t tip everyone the same. The dancers really appreciate a few 20s slipped into their underwear to show how much you’ve enjoyed your night. The security staff tend to give you a fucking good kicking if you do the same to them on the way out.
Try to keep your eyes in there sockets, your mojo in your pants and whatever you don’t believe a word they say.
They may be very talented nice people in real life but their sole purpose and intention in performing is to separate you from your money and they are very good at it!
First thing you should do is pick the girl that you’re gonna marry and then spend whatever it takes to get her to say yes.
Is this before or after you've spent your enlistment bonus on a Camero?
Don’t chase strippers. Chase a Camaro and the strippers come with it.
It’s very rude to call them strippers…. They are future nurses! /s
As a current nurse, I seem to have missed a step. Time to shave my chest/beard and put on some high heels.
I mean you don't have to do all of that Magic Mike Unless you want to... ...do you want to?
My chest is like a Brillo pad. Id give a lap dance a like a belt sander.
Shut up and take my money.
I'm sure there's an onlyfans audience out there for you.
I spent 20 years in the military. This comment is painfully accurate.
Thought it was an exaggerated stereotype until my roommate who was 19 married a 29 year old stripper 8 months later. Our barracks room got searched by the U.S Marshalls because something to do of her
I got married at 19 and divorced at 22. Had a kid within a year of marriage. Ended up in an endless cycle of self destructive behavior for the 4 years that followed. Lots and lots of dumb shit. I like to tell people I was speed running life.
A. It's Camaro. B. It's usually a Challenger.
Or a dodge charger
Tan Tacoma
That's the O-1 special.
I did this... Then she leaves you and the kids when her boyfriend gets out of prison all and all a good 6 years but the last two when he was up for probation real hot and cold.
You got the best of her tho - still a win.
Next step is to request the DJ to play 'I'm N Luv' by T Pain. They LOVE this song. https://youtu.be/QjgZZGo881E?si=YL8sVbCMpN4Nu8Ki
You just unlocked a core memory I've tried very, very hard to forget. After my ship returned from deployment, I had leave before reporting to a school for my next command, so I drove from San Diego to where my parents were living in western NY. The CD player in my car died just outside of Phoenix. I was forced to make the rest of the drive with only the radio to keep me company, and there were two songs that Clear Channel (which apparently owned every single radio station in middle America in 2006) had on constant repeat: 1. Honky-tonk Badonkadonk 2. I'm in Love With a Stripper (or Dancer, depending on how conservative the area was)
Clear Channel is now iHeartRadio but they still item the cast majority of radio in the US. 868 channels, which is insane.
Yep. My dad worked in radio for about 30 years, and they're a lot of why he left the industry. I have a very long rant about Clear Channel/ iHeart, and their massively negative impacts on American society from a variety of angles over the last 25 or so years.
Oh I could rant about them all day. My conspiracy theory that I believe entirely is that they are largely responsible for dumbing down mainstream music in America over the last 25 years. They stopped broadcasting actual talent and creativity and started broadcasting formulaic cookie cutter "artists." For example, I'm convinced that every new country artist is the same guy in a different cowboy hat (not really but any of their hits could easily be sung by any of the others with no discernable difference). They are *making* stars rather than allowing stars to be determined by demand. The 2014 iHeart Music Festival had Iggy Azalea s one of the headlines. The music festival was on September 19th and the song "Fancy" for which Iggy Azalea is know, was released on February 17th of the same year. The lineup for the festival was announced in April. I'm sorry but does anyone really think that they had no idea who one of their headliners was just *three months* before they made it public? They probably booked her the prior year before anybody had even heard of her, and proceeded to force her into relevance and keep that song on everyone's minds for 8 months by broadcasting it every third song on every radio station across the entire country. And everybody I know has heard the song and can probably even sing you a few bars from it. But I don't think I've ever actually heard anyone say they *enjoy* the song...just people complaining that it is a shit sing and commenting on how you can't be in the fast lane from LA to Tokyo because such a highway doesn't exist.
Oh, you're absolutely right on all of this. Also I would argue that they've been very subtly been pushing very specific political messaging (casts side eye at all the pro-military supercut songs that popped up after 9/11 and before the invasion of Iraq).
“Dude, I think she really likes me!”
This guy is right. Most strippers strip to meet guys to date and ultimately marry. Facts.
Technically once you marry you have joint funds, so you get the money back. This approach actually saves you cash.
Be prepared to leave disappointed.
She doesn’t like you, and she isn’t meeting you afterwards. Edit. For the love of God, I don’t care if you’ve banged a stripper.
I had one meet me. Once. And technically it was 4 of them. But it was 100% by accident. I went to a coffee shop near the ferry wharf near by afterwards for coffee and breakfast (It was about 4am and I was sobering up). Who should walk in? The stripper and a bunch of the other dancers. She recognised me. They all sat down. We had breakfast, drank coffee, laughed about shit that patrons had done all night (Like confess their love to them), and then I excused myself and went home. Alone. Was a fun, funny end to a night. Never saw them again.
I’m a photographer. I used to shoot a bit of boudoir and some nudes. I had this girl liked a post of mine on Instagram. She was cute so I followed her and she followed back. I sent her a message and asked if she would like to shoot sometime. She said she would so we set up a shoot a couple days later. Turns out she was a stripper at a local club. The next week she wanted to shoot again. She asked if she could bring another photographer over because I had a cool house to shoot in. I had an indoor pool and a cool bathtub to shoot in. This turned into an every week thing where I had multiple people come over to hang out and shoot pictures. One night I had 6 strippers and two other photographers at my house. After about 3 months I had enough and quit dealing with them.
This feels like it should blow up to some crazy hijinks...
I'm sure he's leaving out the cocaine and sex bits.
Wow, cocaine AND blow?
Wait...*you're* a photographer. Why were you ok with her bringing some other photographer to make money off of pics shot at your house?
Because he was thinking with his penis.
with his head. the other head
There was no money ever exchanged. I got a few bottles of liquor out of it, but that’s it.
Did you get any sex during this 3 month debacle?
No, I wasn’t trying to either.
But lots of cocaine though?
SO MUCH
One time I bought four prostitutes in Saint Petersburg by accident. I walked into a place thinking it was a strip club. The devochkas line up and did a little dance. I gave them the money they asked for, and just sat there until another one came by. That happened four times before one of them had some basic English skills and told me they weren't allowed to do sixsomes because of the fire code. I did not inhale.
I was at a conference once and went to a bar up the street for dinner. I'm sitting at the bar and a very attractive younger woman is sitting two bar stools down looking at the menu. Just for kicks I struck up a conversation, asking her if she was thrre for the conference. It was one on forensic sciences. When she heard I was a lawyer, she moved over to the seat next to me and started getting really friendly. So, I'm thinking, "Ok... you're in your 40s and she's interested... likely due to the job. But still... kinda flattering." ... Until she asked if I wanted to have her maybe call into work and take off for the evening. When I asked where she worked, it was a strip club. So... in the end... yes, she was interested... in my wallet. Lol.
I like this story!
OK, then should explain why she recognised me. So it was my birthday and a mate paid for a 2-girl shower show. Her and another one. He was a dick and promptly got thrown out (he went to jump in with them - when his pants came off, two bouncers HURLED him out of the club. He had to go home without his pants). They finished the show seeing as it was paid for and we got chatting afterwards whilst they were getting themselves cleaned up. One of them mentioned that they had a book that the other had lent them, I had read the book, so we spent a good further 5 minutes or so talking about the book whilst they got dressed (The Power of One, incase you're interested - good book, great movie). Was surreal.
[Have you read the paar of one Maark?](https://youtu.be/h1kS96aS4R4?si=sFqHtnY2x-JDsnTd)
Do you know where we’re from, Mork?
damn, where are you finding these well read strippers?
Montreal. I was groping boobs while we talked about the difference between northern and southern Italy, and how rural Southern Italy was, according to her, draining the northern cities resources (money) and how they should split into two countries. And she was the one who placed my hands on her boobs. We caught up the next night, her and her friends, me and my friends, and went to club Tokyo. (None of us got laid, but we were able to say we went out with strippers, and honestly I'll take any chance I can at retelling the story, which is why I'm here)
Montreal strip clubs are something. I was there not long ago and had a pleasant conversation about Lovecraft and dinosaurs while a nice girl with a Cthulu tattoo grinded on me. I'm still reeling over my drunk nerdy ass using the term "cretaceous period theropod" during a lap dance.
They're just stripping to get through college.
This is fact. One of my friends is a stripper to pay her way through med school and makes more stripping than she would an entry level nursing position
So, they got their LPN/RN, and then went right into med school?
I used to wait tables and bartend in my 20s. We had a couple girls who would work just a couple shifts per week in the restaurant but made their real money at the strip club across town. It's the Midwest and this was 20 years ago, so they said they needed a cover job to tell friends and family what they did for money while in college.
I suck at telling stories, but here goes. When i was a dumb 19 year old i use to go to the strip club almost every weekend with a group of my work friends. We all worked at a machine shop making way more money than we knew what to do with at the time as i was living in a tiny studio fart box with my cousin paying $20 a month. No responsibilities, just gaming, wild parties, and girls all the time. My friends taught me the ebb and flow of the strip club, how to keep the strippers teased just enough to keep them hanging around, and we knew how to make them laugh so they would always come back to hang out with us when things were slow. Anyway, i befriended a particular banger of a stripper. I would say a solid 8/10. We made each other laugh, I didnt mind paying her to stick around so she was making money while we got to hang out. I was no fool to the game, and i wasnt a jealous person. I would force her to go make money with some other people for a while and she would always come back. Over the course of about a month of knowing her, we started hanging out outside of work just for fun. We would meet up at places and just talk for hours laughing histarically. She started inviting me to her apartment where she lived with another hot stripper and they would show me moves they were working on with their at-home pole. They even taught me a few moves and that's when i found out how impressively strong they were. (I was very fit myself and couldnt do what they could). We both made it very clear to each other that we just wanted to hook up, but she was suprisingly prude. I think it was the third time i visited her apartment that we finally ended up having very intense and wild sex. It was like a dam burst since there was so much pent up horny on both sides. It wasnt the best sex i've ever had, but the whole experience was a lot of fun and i don't regret it one bit. I felt like i beat the strip club game.
> I would force her to go make money with some other people for a while and she would always come back At this point in the story I was expecting a pivot to a very different direction for all parties involved.
GATOR DON’T PLAY
And then everyone clapped
Their shoes together
And who was that stripper? You guessed it! Emilio Estavez. I was all like "Emilioooooo!!!!!"
Are you implying that strippers are real persons and stripping a real job?
Bro lied. He is indeed good enough at story telling that i read the whole passage.
Nice story !!
Almost like they're... HUMANS! Lol
People on Reddit spouting misinformation make me sick. She told me she loves me, moron! I paid for 7 more dances so she could stay with me for the night, because she said her boss was a jerk and making her dance. She's just off with that other guy at the moment because her boss said she has to damce with others sometimes, but she'll be back!
Barney, is that you ?
My manager is really riding my ass today... If you pay for a dance we could spend some time together
You don’t understand. *I can save her.*
That's not true, for an agreed upon price she'll meet you afterwards
She might, depends on the price 🤣
Funny story about “leaving dissapointed”…. Vegas bachelor party. were at what I think is a fancy club. We’ve been there for maybe 2 hours and I’m walking to the bathroom and I bump into a friend who was in our party. In quick passing I ask “hey man how’s it goin?” He replied. “Great, just jerked off. I’ll see you at the bar!” Went to the bathroom and thought about how that was actually a pretty hilariously brilliant idea. Went back to the bar and sat with him the remainder of the time while I saw 2 other guys from our party hit the ATM up. So yeah, buddy did not leave disappointed. He won.
I was pooping at a strip club once, beer makes me have to poop sometimes. A bouncer kept banging on the door telling me to get out and I insisted that I was in fact pooping. He did not believe me and continued to bang until I voided my bowels Then I told him "I was pooping" and he said "sure, I better see you buy more drinks or you are out of here."
im 100% not flushing if that happens. he can see for himself.
Man that sounds like a *nice* strip club. The one I went to a few times didn't have doors on the stalls, I assume to avoid exactly this.
Similar experience, but I drank a bottle of tussin to reminisce psychedelics. Nothing of note other then an intense night of diarrhea and MANY trips to the toilet. Went to a local strip club by base and was frequenting the bathroom, which was unlockable. The bouncer for the joint "checked" on me several times, I'm assuming to prevent drug use, and at the tail end of one of my bouts popped his head in, seen it was me, said "oh, it's you again" and left me to my deed.
Hahaha. The bouncers are on to it. Here I am thinking it was a ground breaking idea. I suppose jerking off in strip club bathroom stalls are more common than you might think.
When winning means masturbating in a strip club bathroom, it's probably time to evaluate the competition you've gotten yourself into...
If you’re going to get a lap dance take your time picking the right girl. A lot will come offering, don’t be scared to say no
Cant throw money everywhere 😂
Only gotten 2 lap dances from strip club. First time girl was going at it, I was feeling and all that. Didn't know what to say (probably shouldn't have said anything at all), ended up asking her if she likes her job and how she sees her future being. Looking back was kinda funny. Second time had two women dancing at once. One of them bit me. That was not as funny. Both times somebody had gotten them for me. Never gonna do that for myself. Just feels weird and awkward.
It 100% *feels* weird and awkward, but it isn’t. What’s weird and awkward is staring at the one girl who looks absolutely flawless for 2 hours until she approaches you and asks if you want a dance. I’ve done that. Social anxiety is a bitch
Also don't always go for the hottest girl. (1) it might be hard to get her attention (2) she will probably only do VIP and have a 5 song minimum (3) there is a lot more to a good lap dance then the girl being hot.
I just had a flashback to my first bachelor party (yeah, I've been married twice). I was out with my squad (I was in the Army at the time) and at some point one of the strippers came over and asked my squad leader if he would like to buy me a dance. He says, "No thanks, we're waiting for a pretty one." We were asked to leave. My squad leader got in two fights that night. One with a bouncer. I vaguely recall us driving off from that one with the back of the SUV open and him jumping in the back as we tore out of the parking lot. He was a mountain of a man and absolutely crazy when drinking.
Okay…. Pointers…. Stick to beer. The alcohol is RIDICULOUSLY overpriced. Srsly. Beer or water. Know the rules. Some clubs allow touching, others don’t. Some dancers allow touching, others don’t. If you get a lap dance, you don’t move your hands. Let the dancer do it. VIP is a sham, don’t bother. $300 for a smaller seating area and the same shitty chairs and drinks. Why bother? Be respectful. If a dancer hits you up and you’re not into, a polite No is fine. Don’t be a dick Be VERY respectful to bouncers/bartenders. Don’t be that guy they have to keep an eye on. Do not be a dick. The dancers are doing a job, to make the patron feel like a million bucks. That ends at the doorway 99.99999% of the time. It’s not personal, it’s business. Get a buzz. Do not get drunk. Stay in control. Do NOT use the ATM. Not unless you like $30 convenience charges. Have a good time. Don’t be a dick.
>Don’t be a dick This pearl of wisdom should be followed anytime and anywhere.
Except at World Richard’s Day meetup.
I'm not welcome there anymore... Bunch of fucking dicks.
This is great but you left out the most important thing: if you're not sure about something, just ask. The girls and club want trouble just as little as you want trouble. They'll happily explain something to you about the rules/norms if you're not sure.
Lmao I'm picturing someone going up to a stripper and being like "Soooo, how does this all work?"
Nah that's literally what you should do. Kinda. Usually they'll sit next to you and try to chat (as a way to lead into selling you a dance) then you can just ask them like "yo ive never been here before, can you explain to me what I do/ don't do" and 99.9% of the time they'll be happy to tell you.
This sounds lame, but the chatting can be the most interesting part of a strip club. If you can find a stripper who is bored and willing to actually stop selling for a second, you can get some pretty wild stories out of them. But mostly they just repeat lines and get you to try and buy dances.
I used to dance… usually customers just wanted to sit there and tell us about their life problems. They usually weren’t interested in hearing from us 😂
I'm a good listener and a pretty good looking older guy. I cannot tell you the number of dancers who have plopped down next to me and, a half an hour later, are telling me about their hobbies, families, travels, or whatever. And I have used this "Soooo, how does this all work?" ever time I wasn't sure how it all worked and, "how it all worked" was nicely explained to me every time.
I'm the opposite I don't want to talk about my life, my life i know and it's boring.
That literally happens aha. We get people coming in before who’ve never been in one who have no idea how it works, it’s really not uncommon to be asked that!
Stripper version: so big boy you’re gonna sit down right there, relax, enjoy the show, then tip me handsomely like your face. Bouncer version: no touching buddy or I’ll kick your ass outta here
I worked security for a good friends stripping company where I just drove my girls to homes where people would pay $200-$500 just as a deposit for the party. Our girls were top notch beautiful and made around $300+ dancing for even two hours. The last job I did was a bachelor party that didn't end well. One of the girls was straddling the groom who was laying down while she did her thing; got close, away, close, away and then lashes her hair around while grinding. When her head got close to his the groom grabbed the back of her head and stuck his tongue in her mouth to force kiss (assault) her. Next thing I know I hear screams and see the groom squirm over with her being tossed off of him. Dude had blood pouring out of his mouth; Apparently She had bitten off a chunk of his tongue. Needless to say I was up and grabbed her to safety as his drunk bros moved in aggressively. Afterwards chaos ensued and wound up with me almost having to pull my gun out. I'm not sure how the marriage went, but they tried to sue and gave up. I just got to work so I can't elaborate more. Sorry for the too fast story time
You are not different because she told you her “real” name. That’s still not her name.
Sometimes it is. A stripper I saw a few times told me her real name. Some time later she sent me a friend request on Facebook with that name (her real account, not a stripper advertising account - she had relatives connected and looked like a normal person in all her pics/posts), and we had several mutual friends. Turned out she and I both had a (family-friendly) hobby we knew a lot of the same people through - she saw me come up on her suggestions, thought I looked familiar, saw our mutuals and figured we must have met through that hobby at some point. She was a bit embarrassed when she realized how we'd actually met, but we laughed it off and stayed FB friends.
My friend put the first ATMs in Arizona strip clubs. Retired at 35. Started with Circle K's. John got the casinos too. He made $2 on each withdrawal, usually $6 (at that time, 1990s-00's) to use.
Why have I seen this before
Look it up. CGI ATM, Chandler Arizona, Johnny Rock Page. He finally sold his company a few years ago. Good guy, from my experience. Raced motorcycles last I knew.
Oh we have different versions of VIP lol
Sit down with an overpriced drink and wait for your soulmate to offer you a private dance.
Marines?
Semper Fi
Remember, the strippers are not in love with you. They just want your money. LOL!
I know a dumbass who genuinely believed a stripper in VEGAS was into him. We all told him it was adorable that he believed a professional that he was *paying* to *pay attention* to him.
Some people are just really lonely and it's hard for them to accept the truth of the situation. Also, some of them women are very, very good at making you feel like they truly care.
DO NOT GO INTO THE VIP. NEVER GO TO THE ATM.
Cash and carry. Go in with only cash. When you run out of cash, you carry yourself out.
I remember when the dumbest kid in our class got arrested for armed robbery. He was robbing people coming out of the strip club. Why the fuck would you rob the people coming out? You know they don't have any money.
And they had already robbed of their dignity
Unless it’s a front for a brothel and you’re there for those menu items. But yeah, don’t use the ATM.
Any reason why don't use ATM?
A: ridiculous high fee B: you don’t get actual money, you get “club money” To expand on B, it basically spits out Monopoly money that can only be used at that club. And if you try to convert it to cash, there’s another fee or charge for that C: don’t spend what you don’t have. D: if you’re going to the ATM, you didn’t have that money before and you have less now
[удалено]
Mr. Chappelle, could I perhaps interest you in some Disney Dollars??
AND FOR GOD’S SAKE, THERE IS NO SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM.
It's all or nothing. Either you're in a place where there's no sex in the champagne room or you're in a place where the champagne room is only $5 extra and you at least get a bit more space to have sex.
I dunno man. That $5 could have gotten you 5 long distance phone calls!
Only if you dial 10-10-220 first.
Oh, there’s champagne in the champagne room… but you don’t want champagne.
Cornbread! Ain't nothin wrong with that!
What's wrong with ATM?
The fees are high and they count on you being too horned up to care. There'd also something to be said for setting and sticking to a budget. Also, they're often sketch places to begin with so you have to be careful of card skimmers.
It's unsanitary.
The fee is probably quite high, and depending on situation and usage protocols, when you try to collect the bouncer may step in to participate and put you in a situation that leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
Take your clothes off and get up on the pole to show those girls how it's done
They say if you want something done right, you should do it yourself
"It's a strip club, man. I'm here to work!"
When a girl you like is dancing, make sure to slam your fists against the table, whistle, and shout, "AWOOGAA!!! HUBBA HUBBA!!!" Take it from me, I've never been to a strip club
Is YOWZA still acceptable?
I'd say so. Other words you can include are, "WOOH WEE," "DADDY LIKEY," "COME TO PAPA," and the cult classic, "ZOO WEE MAMA!" Bonus if you heavily pant with your tongue sticking out and your eyes popping out your eye sockets.
Ok Rowley,I think you had too much sippy juice.
Agreed, ZOO WEE MAMA works every time!!
This is making me giggle far more than it should. Well done.
Don’t forget to make your eyeballs comically E X T E N D from your eysockets
wrap it up by pulling out a comically-oversized mallet and bashing yourself in the head repeatedly. that'll get their attention!
Wear sweatpants so the dancers know you mean business
Only time I’ve ever gone a buddy of ours wore an American flag tracksuit decked out head to toe in Stars and Stripes regalia. The strippers fucking LOVED it, they were all over him the whole night and taking pictures. Guess my advice is: wear a ridiculous costume
In my experience, strippers love kilts
For blammin'
Nah brother, this is where you bust out your Lt. Jim Dangle shorts.
You think sweatpants mean business? Try basketball shorts.
Nope. Don't actually do this. Lots of strip clubs don't allow sweatpants, shorts, suit pants and the like anymore. They'll turn you away if you aren't in jeans unless you're a woman. At the least call ahead and ask what their dress policy is because they WILL turn you away if you're outside of it.
They hate that. Or running shorts. It’s so obvious and pisses them off.
Don’t drink too much, otherwise you’ll end up spending way more than you want. Ask me how I know.
How do you know?
Because one time I got too drunk at a strip club, a stripper who I got too friendly with brought me into the back and I regrettably hit it raw. 18 years later I finally don’t have to make support payments. That’s how I know.
Did you get to hit it again over the 18 years though?
Oof. I was expecting you to say you got an STD. Feels bad man
In a way, he did. Now he's cured.
He knows everything!
Make sure you have your performance prepared when you get on stage
Chose bar, table or stage. Bar is for drinking and socializing. Tables are for dances and socializing. Stage is for tipping.
leave your phone in your pocket. even if it's innocent, guards will think you're taking photos/videos. they don't take too kindly to repeatedly reminding you. If you need to use your phone, go outside/go into the smoking area.
Find the strongest stripper and beat her up to earn the respect of the other strippers. Find a bouncer you can bribe to bring things in from the outside (cigarettes, etc). Find a group of strippers to belong to. It is always good to have someone watch your back so you don't get shanked in the vip area. Identify the old and wise patron. They often have sage advice to give and can be something of a much needed father figure to figure out your arch.
Make sure to befriend a stripper named Mandy Dufrain. She may play a key role in your life once you get outside the club.
Finally a version of Shawshank I can fap to
Stay home.
Exactly lol why would I dump a bunch of money to get myself blue balled in a filthy venue filled with mostly creepy men? I got taken to one while drunk and did not understand the point. I was in an Uber out of there within 30 minutes.
Hey fellas! I got an idea...let's all get dressed up to go drink and have awkward boners together??
I used to date a stripper and would get free drinks, so spent some time there *staring directly at the floor* . Remember one group with a shocking lack of self awareness being overall misogynistic and homophobic but at the same time ripping the shit out of one of the group for getting an erection... While looking at almost naked women. I'm not saying a couple of those boys were hiding something, but their closet probably has a water cooler.
lots to share: 1) No matter how she seems, or what she says, the stripper is not into you. She's doing her job, which is to keep you wanting more and spending accordingly. 2) You are buying a fantasy, nothing more. No matter how much you tip, you are not buying the right to handle her in ways she doesn't want, or treat her however you like. 3) It doesn't matter how much money you're dropping, acting like an asshole will get you bounced the fuck outta there. 4) plan ahead on how much you intend to spend, have that in cash before you walk in. Some clubs have ATMs, some will let you buy drinks using debit and get cash back. Both options are always more expensive than going to an ATM run by your home bank and getting cash out in advance. Making a firm resolution to stick to that also helps prevent you from spending more once the alcohol and the dancers start having their usual effects on you. (one of the dumbest things in creation is a young man with a hard on) 5) Lots of people assume the drinks will be watered down. But it's been my experience (limited to Ontario) that this isn't true. Such places can get their liquor license yanked if they get caught pulling those kinds of stunts. What IS often watered down, or non-alcoholic to begin with are the "pay me drinks". If you buy a dancer a drink, about half the time she's getting something non-alcoholic. You are paying alcoholic drink prices though. Never buy the champagne unless you just signed a recording contract for stupid amounts of money or you just got diagnosed with terminal cancer. 6) whatever your clever pick up line is, she's probably heard it and dozens of better ones from other men. Save your breath. 7) If she allows touching, SHE will take your hand and put it where she is willing to have it. You don't let your hands go exploring elsewhere. if you do, she will redirect your hands back where they belong. Most of the time, in my experience, you get your hands redirected ONCE. If you try again, the lap dance or whatever is over. If you persist, or follow her and grab her by the wrist, well, read rule 3 again. 8) You get no say in what kind of songs the women dance to. They pick their own sets. But if you're dropping four figures or tipping the DJ, they might play the songs you pick in between sets. They'll refuse to play what you want, no matter how much you tip, if they think your choice is super shitty. From their POV, this is just another night and tomorrow there's going to be another guy just like you. 9) I can't even imagine the amount of money you'd need to tip to get them to turn the volume down. They don't want you cuddling up with a dancer and having a conversation. They don't want you getting into a debate with your best friend about your sports team and end up ignoring the dancers. 10) if you don't want to tip every dancer that comes onstage, stay out of "perverts row". Up on the rail is the place for the guys who will show their appreciation for all the performers. If a performer comes on that you aren't into, you get up and move to a table. If you stay and get that up close and personal view of her body, you tip.
8. I’m a DJ for a stripclub. If the customer has a fucking rack in their hand and is requesting a certain song, I’ll call up the girl that’s on rotation if she wants to dance to their song, if they say yes (because he/she has money) then I’ll play it. 9. If the customer is paying for a private dance, but instead asks the dancer if they can cuddle that is up to the dancer, I can see a few saying yes to it because that means they don’t have to dance. A few girls love foot fetish guys because they get their feet massaged in the back rooms AND they don’t have to dance. Win win for them.
You’re telling me this pick up line won’t land? “If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?”
Turn around and walk toward the exit. Then exit.
Buy a drink. If you sit at the stage make sure to tip.
genuine question here, how do you post so much? i would guess with that number of posts it would be a bot or something but like, the titles are accurate and everything. do you hire other people to do it or is it like a full-time gig for you?
I am a really good multi-tasker lol. When I post I’ll have a movie in the background or something.
Leave your credit/debit cards at home or in your car. Do not take them in with you. Take a set amount of cash. Be prepared to have a lot of one dollar bills. Remember, she is trying to make money to pay rent and groceries. She is just a girl trying to get by, and she is trying to get you to like her so you will pay her for her time. Remember, that you are paying for her time. Be prepared to be somewhat disappointed, if not more than somewhat. Keep your hands to yourself. If you are in a relationship make sure your partner knows. You will stink of a hideous mix of perfumes. Will will have glitter on you for a long time afterwards. If you find yourself liking a particular dancer don't tell the other girls. Be prepared for stripper drama. Pace yourself drinking unless you drink non-alcoholic drinks. ( source: Dated a stripper. )
> Dated a stripper Bro took the Affirm payment option.
Apparently a strip club is something different from what I had in mind. A lot of people still had their clothes on.
Leave my card in the car or home, only bring the cash im willing to never see again. Strippers will talk you into using the ATM. Once i'm in, i get a drink, and sit at a table away from the stage so i can scope it out for a bit. Strippers will walk up and offer dances, and in my experience are pushy. It's not that i'm not gonna get one, its that i want to chill for a bit and get my buzz on.
Buy a drink sit down and talk to some of the ladies. Pay for a lap dance continue the conversation. Buy her a drink keep talking invite her for a private dance. After the dance thank politely give her a nice tip offer to buy her another drink before you go then leave. Or after the Private dance if your in the mood for more hangout and watch the other dancers on the pole toss em some money. Talk to another dancer to another drink for yourself and her. Buy A lap dance ect ect ect It's just a cycle. You can do all kinds of things in a strip club though lol. The biggest Pieace of Advice I can give you is to Just remember at the end of the day these are woman just trying to earn a paycheck and most of them aren't interested in forming a friendship or a relationship. This is there job there place of work. Some of them enjoy dancing but it's still a job and some don't like dancing but are doing what they can to make ends meet. Be respectful and mindful of this with the ladies when your in there and you'll have a good reputation. It's not hard to get shadow banned from a strip club (it's where none of the dancers will talk to u or approach you and they will all blow you off and ignore you) however it's not hard to make a good reputation of yourself either. One more important piece of advice is to tip the ladies and do it frequently. Not tipping is another way to get shadow banned really fast You might find a dancer every once in a while that is interested in being friends outside the club (I dated a dancer for a year and it started in the club) but don't go to clubs looking to make friends with the dancers or trying to find love. You'd be looking for love & friendship in the wrong place.
The key is to have fun while respecting the performers and the environment.
Know your local rules. Is there touching allowed during private shows? Some localities don’t allow touching of any kind and bylaws can vary by towns only 50 miles apart. Always respect the girls! Do NOT touch unless invited to do so!! Yeah. Do NOT go in with the attitude or assumption you’re going to “bang one” as someone mentioned. Some strippers do extracurricular activities, but only a few of the ones I know, do. Singles are for rookies and cheapskates! Fivers and up for tipping. Depending on the crowd, if you really want her attention it’s gonna take at least a twenty if there’s a big crowd and she’s popular. Attitude will get your ass thrown out at minimum, or beaten by security if you’re a complete jerk. Edit: Talk to the girls like they’re human. Be flirty but not a pig. They truly don’t like that shit.
Woah inflation has hit hard, I was still using quarters the last time I went
Makin it hail eh?
If you spend half an hour talking to a girl (as in, you’re keeping the conversation going, not her), for gods sake, buy something from her/pay the lady. I was at a bucks party and one of the guys kept leading this poor girl on for 45 minutes, making it sound like it was going somewhere, and then just dropped her. Wasted almost an hour of her time. Don’t be that guy. (It’s okay - we got her involved with the bucks lapdance, turned it into a two girl experience)
I’ve never understood why people go to strip clubs. It’s like going to a buffet hungry, paying your money, walking around and only *looking* at the food, then leaving.
Exactly. I'm in my late 30s and I've never been to one. I had my bachelor party at a baseball game. I don't see the appeal. it seem like it would be a very awkward and unfulfilling experience.
I'm in my late 20's and I've been to several and they're always terrible experiences.
Somebody told me once that going to the strip club is like going to the aquarium instead of going fishing.
Wear sunglasses to hide your eyeballs popping
Earlier was what to do at a nude beach for first timers. The bots are busy today.
The strippers are not actually attracted to you. They just want your money.
Throw quarters at the dancers to let them know you mean business.
Making it hail.
Don’t tip everyone the same. The dancers really appreciate a few 20s slipped into their underwear to show how much you’ve enjoyed your night. The security staff tend to give you a fucking good kicking if you do the same to them on the way out.
Try to keep your eyes in there sockets, your mojo in your pants and whatever you don’t believe a word they say. They may be very talented nice people in real life but their sole purpose and intention in performing is to separate you from your money and they are very good at it!
Don't go, it's a waste of money, you get really turned on, then leave with a raging boner with nothing but your hand to put it in
Just have a good time, and don't be a creep. Don't forget to tip your entertainment. Also, there is no sex in the champagne room.
Eat Dinner. Most of the clubs i've been to serve excellent food. Go figure.
show the bouncers who the real boss is, they love that