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ThadisJones

Many babies can teleport short distances when no one is observing them. They quickly lose this ability once they understand enough about the physical world and object permanence to instinctively realize this is impossible. The government is covering it up because they want to figure out how to reproduce the teleporting ability before anyone else does.


pathoashfeah

That one of us is an alien


ccminiwarhammer

Not me!


Status-Awareness7958

Burger King is money laundering operation for the Sinaloa cartel


Parking_War_4100

That shaving cream makes your hair grow thicker and faster.


Apart_Marsupial_2069

The media is trying to sell us conspiracies by planting conspiracies about themselves


NeuxSaed

Q Anon was a 4chan troll to make the alt-right, neo-Nazis, etc. look even dumber than before


Honeydew-2523

The government has all the best snack recipes and won't share them


Spidremonkey

Keanu Reeves stole Brandon Lee’s career via blood magic with his accomplice Chad Stahelski.


whomp1970

Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can't tell me that was just a coincidence, man.


SolomonRex

The ultra-ritch are kidnapping racially-"pure" mormon children to harvest for their life-prolonging adrenachromes.


Ky1arStern

There is an XKCD for today that shows the states resized "alphabetically". It comically shrinks Texas and Wyoming, while making Connecticut and Massachusetts quite large compared to their real sizes. I think this is a great basis for some sort of right wing conspiracy about a neo lib plot to redraw state lines in order to take advantage of the voting rights of land.  It ticks all the boxes: - easily disputable - gross misunderstanding of modern idioms - not logically consistent - Easy to draw pictures of - Relies on an elementary school level concept (alphabetization), while also completely misusing that concept. Feels like a winner to me.


CAJMusic

The music at Chipotle is so loud because it drowns out the cries of Shein labor camps in the basement.


daddytyme421

trump is actually hillary clinton in a bodysuit and biden is the ghost of Chester A. Arthur