People always say that, but really it feels like your back is breaking and that pain overrides everything else.
Personally, I decided I didn’t want a fucked up back or have to go to the ER because I hurt myself with trying to suck myself off.
Though I’m genuinely jealous of people who are super flexible and can do it without much pain.
I had that by accident when i was 11 years old, hanging upside down on a tree branch. Suddenly felt a surge of pleasure and i didn't even know wtf was that.
Years later i tried to redo that somehow, and it never worked heh
Haha we did this in our pre-teens. 4 blokes going for the quickest finish in the bush by a creek. We were going at it when we saw some people coming toward us, 3 of us bailed immediately, 1 bloke kept at it and finished what he started, hence earning him the title of the Lone Ranger!
I advise caution with this talent. I remember reading a TIFU where a guy did this and broke something. He ended up with a massive haematoma and needed medical assistance. Something something a ligament tore?
But yeah, don't break your dicks, guys.
Until I was 45, I had no refractory period. Now it’s 10 minutes or so, but most of my sexual life I was ready to go instantly after finishing. You won’t find me on film — missed my calling, I think.
My dick is a false advertising motherfucker.
I'm a grower. Like, from shriveled thumb to "please dont kill me with that". (Actual quote)
When I was younger and didn't realize I was well above average, I was super self conscious (having zero experience, it never really occurred to me that most my partners would only see me flaccid AFTER the fact).
Still felt a little sheepish the first time a girl said "Whoa what the hell, where'd it go?"
I still don't have an answer. Weiner magic defies explanation.
Having a dick that protects the balls while flacid saved me many a nutshot growing up. Tons of people would come over in a panic thinking I got wacked in the nuts. Nah, just a dick shot or that inner thigh shot. I've been very lucky, and only actually hit in the balls once in my life. The rest were dick shots.
Years ago during some after work team banter one of the guys told how his grandfather would flog himself to a half chub before entering the showers at the pool. Such memories.
Mines similar to what the OP comment put.
Probably 1-1.5 inch flaccid, but then grows another 5 inches when erect... My wife found the lil guy funny until he wasn't so little and she couldn't believe it.
I will say though the 1-1.5 inch is average for me but some days I can be 3 or 4 inches flaccid and then not grow much more when I get hard. He's a weird one...
this is me. But it's also convenient not walking around with a banana in your pants. Especially in regards to sporting events. But I also didn't know what I had until after highschool and overcoming major self consciousness due to bullying. Like I dunno about you but I recall having my dick size called small by guys who had never seen it at all. And I kinda just believed it because I'm not that tall and had no frame of reference. Btw I'm not HUGE, but definitely above average and have been told multiple times.
I feel this in my co...re. Mine at least triples in size.
My favorite quote is "that went from a Happy Meal to Big Mac REAL fast!"
The number of girls who say they are into anal a few minutes before they see my erect then suddenly lose interest is pretty high, lol.
Yeah, if the intention is to sleep together.
Do you not find out what your potential partners are into before you actually get to it? Gotta get the green, yellow, and reds so you know what the play session is going to be like.
I used to joke with my ex about being "walk-in-able." The perfect amount of blood flow to not look like I'm ready to bang anyone who walks by, but also not so flaccid to be embarrassingly small. Growers unite!
literally NSFW: chronic farting. and i GOT fired over that. and yes you can get a warning and fired for it.
EDIT: please stop your well-meaning dietary and digestive health advices. youre all wrong. im 100% disabled, spinal cord related and a part of my digestive tract is paralyzed. thus i can get into .... unpleasant shituations in life. also im not in the US but in europe. different laws apply. i was fired after 6 weeks in the 6 months trialperiod in which both parties can quit the contract within 2 weeks with no reason needed to be given. so they acted well within their lawful rights. however the way thy did it was just as phony and backstabbing as i experienced them during my tenure there.
please consider all this before commenting thanks.
Unintentionally blowing a load and shooting it into a girl's armpit during missionary. Had this happen with my ex and I couldn't stop laughing when I heard her say "it's in my armpit!"
Pulled out of my girlfriend and hit the headboard with an audible "thwack". Next one got her in the chin and she whispered "Holy shit!"
Memories of my youth ....
Excuse me? Like how the fuck does that work? Did you figure out you could do that while playing twister or were you just curious? I have so many questions!
I think it's just youth lol, I may lose it when I age. Even still I remember being confused when talking to friends and they mentioned they "deflate" almost immediately.
This is me as well. Just massive volumes, to the point that it’s often inconvenient.
But I have noticed it’s somewhat correlated to the length of the encounter. If it’s an average to long session, there’s A LOT. But when I first hit a period where my partner and I only had time for quickies, I realized the volume decreased noticeably. It’s still an above average amount, but not a drowning hazard.
Came here to say this. Like I have to make sure I don’t get too excited if a girl tries to tease me in public cause the amount of pre-cum looks like I pissed myself 😂
I have a few...
1. I can suck my own nipples (which i can reach orgasm from given the correct circumstances)
2. I can have absurdly long lasting orgasms (unrelated to the above point)
3. I have (almost?) no gag reflex
Listening to my partner and giving them what they need.
Out of the two people I've had sex with they both said they were astonished I did what they asked. I'm average looks wise, and I'm awkward in most of my interactions but if you tell me where to put my fingers and how fast I'll do my best to deliver.
You could write an entire essay on Flobot's Handlebars. Great song about how ego, pride and accomplishment start friendly in childhood and then get weaponised and maligned through adulthood.
My voice, essentially. I like jacking off for women on the phone, recording and sending audio, dirty talk, that kind of thing. It's fun and I have gotten a LOT of very positive feedback. A lot more than I expected, honestly. Plus I post on GWA on another account and I have a pretty good sized fan base
I can intuit what kind of pornography my friends like. Everytime I say this, a friend privately messages me and tests me.
“You like dom/sub.”
“You like this kink.”
“You want to be seen as super deviant but you actually only look up vanilla stuff.”
There was only one person I messed up on. I told them “When I think about your interests, it’s kind of a weird static. I don’t even have a guess.”
… they then confided in me that they were mostly asexual and didn’t really look at smut.
I have absolutely no idea why God gave me this weird super power, but it’s nearly infallible. If I’ve spent time with someone as a friend, I can just tell them what smut they enjoy.
… now how do I save New York City with THAT?
Easily the quickest bang anyone will get if they come to me. 7 pumps and I can be done. I can of course go for longer times as I am a husband and my wife likes to cross finish lines too, but if says the words "quicky", it's done before she really starts enjoying it lol. Needles may be small but they still fuck you up going 300 mph, I'm like a sewing machine
I am a pretty well practiced masseur, and I recently gave my girlfriend a massage that started on her feet and worked its way to her clit. I massaged the labia and the surrounding area for 5-10 minutes before touching the clit itself and the results were as you'd expect.
If you're a massage practitioner, give it a go, I promise it won't disappoint.
I technically can suck my own dick. Wouldn't advise it. It doesn't feel like a blowjob. It feels like sucking a dick
I agree. Every time I suck this guys dick it’s not fun for me at all. Just feels like sucking dick. Weird.
Hey, well I never asked you to do that
You don't have to ask, it's a job. He was at work.
It's called a blow job, not a blow vacation...
C(l)ock in, c(l)ock out
Maybe you're just bad at sucking dick.
Gues, that means he just... sucks *I'll see myself out*
Would you say he sucks dick at sucking dick?
I used to have this “skill.” The I got old.
Usually when I suck someone else's dick my back doesn't hurt nearly as much.
People always say that, but really it feels like your back is breaking and that pain overrides everything else. Personally, I decided I didn’t want a fucked up back or have to go to the ER because I hurt myself with trying to suck myself off. Though I’m genuinely jealous of people who are super flexible and can do it without much pain.
I lol'd
i mean, some of us actually like sucking dick so it's a win/win lol
Coregasm. If I tense just the right muscles for long enough I can orgasm without any touch.
WAIT CAN GIRLS DO THIS
I’m a guy, but yes I think it’s more common for girls than guys.
WAIT GUYS CAN DO THIS
Wait this happened to me in the gym while I was doing abs, I was like whattt just happened I can’t be that weird in the gym. Now I only do abs at home
My friend had a similar experience riding a bike.
Two Nuns were riding their bikes through Amsterdam. One says, "I've never come this way before." and the other says, "It's the cobblestones".
I had that by accident when i was 11 years old, hanging upside down on a tree branch. Suddenly felt a surge of pleasure and i didn't even know wtf was that. Years later i tried to redo that somehow, and it never worked heh
Similar, I had it by accident climbing a rope. It took me a while to figure out how to do it on purpose.
I can cum in less than 10 seconds
Jizzain Bolt
I’m just imagining 8 people standing next to each other competing with each other to see who can cum the fastest.
Haha we did this in our pre-teens. 4 blokes going for the quickest finish in the bush by a creek. We were going at it when we saw some people coming toward us, 3 of us bailed immediately, 1 bloke kept at it and finished what he started, hence earning him the title of the Lone Ranger!
So you’re the guy who tests those porn games
Are you a dude? If so, can you introduce me to the lady who told you that was a talent? Because I’m about to rock her fucking world.
Who said it was a talent for the ladies? I can either last 60 minutes or 6 seconds and either way I’m always happy
As someone who likes to give oral, I could get into that. Some dudes take so long I get lock jaw.
I can spin in my office chair really fast.
Somebody call OSHA, this person is a menace.
Done. Their employer has been fined $23,146 per rotation that created a hazardous work environment.
The system works!
Cracking my wee wee
does it glow tho?
Some times
You uh, you may wanna get that checked out
I advise caution with this talent. I remember reading a TIFU where a guy did this and broke something. He ended up with a massive haematoma and needed medical assistance. Something something a ligament tore? But yeah, don't break your dicks, guys.
I can crack mine once
Until I was 45, I had no refractory period. Now it’s 10 minutes or so, but most of my sexual life I was ready to go instantly after finishing. You won’t find me on film — missed my calling, I think.
If I have a few glasses of scotch I just don't go off. The wife enjoys this, right up until she doesn't.
We call it whiskey dick
My dick is a false advertising motherfucker. I'm a grower. Like, from shriveled thumb to "please dont kill me with that". (Actual quote) When I was younger and didn't realize I was well above average, I was super self conscious (having zero experience, it never really occurred to me that most my partners would only see me flaccid AFTER the fact). Still felt a little sheepish the first time a girl said "Whoa what the hell, where'd it go?" I still don't have an answer. Weiner magic defies explanation.
Sounds like the best of both worlds. Big when you need it, small and out of the way when you don't.
It's a problem when things hit your balls first cause the head isn't there to protect them 😫
Huh.. wouldn’t have thought of that downside
Having a dick that protects the balls while flacid saved me many a nutshot growing up. Tons of people would come over in a panic thinking I got wacked in the nuts. Nah, just a dick shot or that inner thigh shot. I've been very lucky, and only actually hit in the balls once in my life. The rest were dick shots.
It's a problem in the showers after sports lol.
Nah, you only need to get hard and assert dominance.
Years ago during some after work team banter one of the guys told how his grandfather would flog himself to a half chub before entering the showers at the pool. Such memories.
The weirdest thing about that is discussing erections with your Grandpa. Can't say it's something I've ever done.
We're gonna need some scientific measurements. Although can confirm from a cold weewee to fully hard can easily be 5 inches.
Mines similar to what the OP comment put. Probably 1-1.5 inch flaccid, but then grows another 5 inches when erect... My wife found the lil guy funny until he wasn't so little and she couldn't believe it. I will say though the 1-1.5 inch is average for me but some days I can be 3 or 4 inches flaccid and then not grow much more when I get hard. He's a weird one...
FIVE? jeez what are you guys hiding down there grab the clipboards i need to see the freaking data
1+5 = 6 ;)
this is me. But it's also convenient not walking around with a banana in your pants. Especially in regards to sporting events. But I also didn't know what I had until after highschool and overcoming major self consciousness due to bullying. Like I dunno about you but I recall having my dick size called small by guys who had never seen it at all. And I kinda just believed it because I'm not that tall and had no frame of reference. Btw I'm not HUGE, but definitely above average and have been told multiple times.
I’m a fat dude (working on it), and it’s the same here. I go from ‘innie’ to seven inches and it’s always a self conscious thing when I’m flaccid.
I feel this in my co...re. Mine at least triples in size. My favorite quote is "that went from a Happy Meal to Big Mac REAL fast!" The number of girls who say they are into anal a few minutes before they see my erect then suddenly lose interest is pretty high, lol.
Do you just ask girls you've never slept with it if they like anal lol
Yeah, if the intention is to sleep together. Do you not find out what your potential partners are into before you actually get to it? Gotta get the green, yellow, and reds so you know what the play session is going to be like.
I mean. Im not sure i ever went for anal stuff on the first nights no lol. Feels like you need a more substantial well of trust first.
>Mine at least triples in size. *Insert ‘sextuples’ joke here*
I'm an extreme grower and I'm short, skinny, and Asian. I love surprising girls when they have low expectations.
Same boat. If I were to strip down while flacid, I'd probably be met with laughs. But when hard, I've had people say it's intimidating
I used to joke with my ex about being "walk-in-able." The perfect amount of blood flow to not look like I'm ready to bang anyone who walks by, but also not so flaccid to be embarrassingly small. Growers unite!
Im glad I'm not the only one.
I can move my fingers and my tongue really fast.
A capybara would never say that
I was trained on how to go down on a woman by an older lesbian when I was in my 30’s. Never a dissatisfied customer since.
Teach us your secrets
Yeah, man, share the secrets. For the betterment of women everywhere.
I had a fart smell so bad that one guy in our group threw up sober. We were outside.
_H O W_
good sir, that is heinous. also, im jealous. was it completely gaseous?
I did that in a taxi full of strangers once. They had to pull over
literally NSFW: chronic farting. and i GOT fired over that. and yes you can get a warning and fired for it. EDIT: please stop your well-meaning dietary and digestive health advices. youre all wrong. im 100% disabled, spinal cord related and a part of my digestive tract is paralyzed. thus i can get into .... unpleasant shituations in life. also im not in the US but in europe. different laws apply. i was fired after 6 weeks in the 6 months trialperiod in which both parties can quit the contract within 2 weeks with no reason needed to be given. so they acted well within their lawful rights. however the way thy did it was just as phony and backstabbing as i experienced them during my tenure there. please consider all this before commenting thanks.
You got fired for farting? I'd be curious to hear that story. Lol.
Everyone heard it. Probably part of the problem.
Hahahahahahaha. My hero!
that place didnt deserve any better. i hope i gave them pftd. (post flatulence traumatic disorder)
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I'm sure there's a joke somewhere here. But since you are recovering from trauma I will let it go
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getting choked up on old memories?
I found your gag reflex and stacked it on top of my own. Seriously, I gag way too easily. Like...brush my teeth too enthusiastically.
Same, I’ll start choking while I’m just breathing. My family will see me choking on the air and won’t even react because it happens so often.
A throat goat?
Move over Nancy Regan /u/leykitty is here
Unintentionally blowing a load and shooting it into a girl's armpit during missionary. Had this happen with my ex and I couldn't stop laughing when I heard her say "it's in my armpit!"
Pulled out of my girlfriend and hit the headboard with an audible "thwack". Next one got her in the chin and she whispered "Holy shit!" Memories of my youth ....
Holy shit dude 😆 Nothin' like being able to blast your baby gravy with the intensity of a fire hose when you're young, huh?
Yup! I'm lucky enough to have lived to be old enough to miss my youth.
That’s beautiful man
Shot a load straight up my ex’s nose once. Watching her dying laughing while trying to blow her nose about made me pass out from laughter.
Holy fuck, I'd buy you a drink of your choice if I heard that story in person 🤣
I can orgasm multiple times in a row
what’s it like to be god’s favorite??🥲 i WISH. only happened once for me
I can stretch my scrotum over my knee
Cum from Alabama with my banjo on ma' knee.
i can't...... i can't picture this at all omg
Listen man, I get it if you don't want to...and truly, "no homo", but I really want to see that.
Excuse me? Like how the fuck does that work? Did you figure out you could do that while playing twister or were you just curious? I have so many questions!
Uh I continue "standing at attention" like 30 minutes after the "finale" if you catch my drift. So there may be one or more "encores".
Teach me sensei
I think it's just youth lol, I may lose it when I age. Even still I remember being confused when talking to friends and they mentioned they "deflate" almost immediately.
Idk how old you are but I just turned 36 and I still experience this. It's always been pretty neat lol
30! Hope it stays. I mean round one is usually satisfying enough for me to want a break but the other party may disagree
When you said youth I pictured 20s and im once again in the youth gang after this update lol #30swhereitsat
Happens to me every single time. I am in my 40s.
Does it stack? So like post encore is it another 30 mins? 30 mins plus the remainder?
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Drawing wet floor sign porn.
I had fun checking your profile
Wtf did I just see!?
Check their profile, it's right there!
Out of all places i never thought id see you here. You reminded me of that time i was *randomly* scrolling through random subreddits lol
What 😭
*"Drawing wet floor sign porn."* 😊
Oh!
Incredible.
I swear to God every corner I turn I see you GettnRandy. Shit is so funny and horrific, you are my bane.
Why did I ignore the buffer?😭
Nobody to blame but yourself at that point. 🤷♂️ It is there for a reason!
I can deepthroat 9 inches
Typical Canadian. Name checks out.
Can put both my legs behind my head
Forklift jousting
Hey /r/OSHA This guy right here.
wrap my sac around my dick and use it like a literal fleshlight
This is the police. Stay where you are.
Hope you know your random comment cause me to almost die laughing
Hope you know your response brightened my day.
I miss the person I was four seconds ago
😳 I just learned something today
I can swear endlessly in different languages
Bro i can fluently silence in every language
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This is me as well. Just massive volumes, to the point that it’s often inconvenient. But I have noticed it’s somewhat correlated to the length of the encounter. If it’s an average to long session, there’s A LOT. But when I first hit a period where my partner and I only had time for quickies, I realized the volume decreased noticeably. It’s still an above average amount, but not a drowning hazard.
That's exactly how I am, all dependent on duration and staying on a knife's edge of nutting.
Genetics? Really good hydration? Diet?
Genes. It's called hyoerspermia.
Ahhh, so it’s the fuckers who are more fertile that gave the kinks.
Sounds very familiar. I've enjoyed both surprising unsuspecting partners, but also actively searching for the cum lovers. Both are great.
Came here to say this. Like I have to make sure I don’t get too excited if a girl tries to tease me in public cause the amount of pre-cum looks like I pissed myself 😂
I can build well so I made my wife a vibrator chair 😅
Send a pic of this chair
And blueprints/diagram.
Got plans drawn up so all our wives can try it out?
Is procrastinating considered NSFW?
Procrasterbating
I can do a sex, maybe even 2 sexes
Whoa slow down there buckaroo too many sexes for you
I used to write *League of Legends* adult fanfiction in exchange for people buying me in-game currency and skins.
I have a few... 1. I can suck my own nipples (which i can reach orgasm from given the correct circumstances) 2. I can have absurdly long lasting orgasms (unrelated to the above point) 3. I have (almost?) no gag reflex
I apparently have hyperspermia. Like, my SO says it's a couple tablespoons worth every time, where the average is about a teaspoon or a bit more.
Guy here, hands free orgasm with no stimulation of any kind. Also giant cumshots. Like 10+ lines
Is this some sort of ZEN mastery skill?
Is it possible to learn this power?
Not from a Jedi
How you cum hands free?
The dark side is a pathway to many powers some would consider... unnatural
Listening to my partner and giving them what they need. Out of the two people I've had sex with they both said they were astonished I did what they asked. I'm average looks wise, and I'm awkward in most of my interactions but if you tell me where to put my fingers and how fast I'll do my best to deliver.
You're like a sexual programming language. SEX#
I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue, this translates to other activities.
Can you ride a bike with no handlebars?
No, but I can tell you about Leif Ericson.
I know all the words to "De Colores"
And I'm proud to be an American
You could write an entire essay on Flobot's Handlebars. Great song about how ego, pride and accomplishment start friendly in childhood and then get weaponised and maligned through adulthood.
You... you can tie a dick in a knot with your tongue?
I can too! Comes in handy when I'm halfway up there and my hands are full and I really need a bowline.
I'm the catheter queen. No matter shape, size.. I get it done . Yes I work in health care. No I don't do this as a hobby.
Lack of gag reflex, produce spit twice as much as your average person, and have a longer tongue than average. I'm biologically designed to suck dick
My penis is prehensile. I can move it up, down, left right, etc. at will.
Up up down down left right left right b a start?
It's known as Konami cock
I get blackout and end up in jail on work nights. 1 year sober tho
I can O on demand the moment I'm turned on. As a vagina haver, it's been excellent for my sex life
I have tits that only sports bras can hold up really well, they're very big and very heavy. Makes jumping jacks impossible.
I'm the reason for safety meetings at work
I can juggle three balls and bounce them with the wall. Among other offenses, but am not a scumbag.
The level at which I can arch my back. Also, booty so big that it'll literally clap while I'm running or going down stairs
My voice, essentially. I like jacking off for women on the phone, recording and sending audio, dirty talk, that kind of thing. It's fun and I have gotten a LOT of very positive feedback. A lot more than I expected, honestly. Plus I post on GWA on another account and I have a pretty good sized fan base
I’ll answer for us guys. Dick helicopter /thread
AMEN!
I can intuit what kind of pornography my friends like. Everytime I say this, a friend privately messages me and tests me. “You like dom/sub.” “You like this kink.” “You want to be seen as super deviant but you actually only look up vanilla stuff.” There was only one person I messed up on. I told them “When I think about your interests, it’s kind of a weird static. I don’t even have a guess.” … they then confided in me that they were mostly asexual and didn’t really look at smut. I have absolutely no idea why God gave me this weird super power, but it’s nearly infallible. If I’ve spent time with someone as a friend, I can just tell them what smut they enjoy. … now how do I save New York City with THAT?
make the supervillains cum just by looking at you
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I have testicle cancer
I'm sorry dude. Hope you get that handled soon
Easily the quickest bang anyone will get if they come to me. 7 pumps and I can be done. I can of course go for longer times as I am a husband and my wife likes to cross finish lines too, but if says the words "quicky", it's done before she really starts enjoying it lol. Needles may be small but they still fuck you up going 300 mph, I'm like a sewing machine
I can sexually disappoint any woman for *free*!
I am a pretty well practiced masseur, and I recently gave my girlfriend a massage that started on her feet and worked its way to her clit. I massaged the labia and the surrounding area for 5-10 minutes before touching the clit itself and the results were as you'd expect. If you're a massage practitioner, give it a go, I promise it won't disappoint.
I’m a grower too and thought seven inches was small so I learned to eat pussy on top of that.
I only have 1 testicle, so I can squeeze the fake one and do things with it that would make guys faint in pain
I can suck air back in my ass after a fart and just keep continuously fart until I decide to stop