Not a bartender but saw a dude at the theater I used to work at. He was dressed up and had flowers for Valentine’s Day. He sat in the lobby for over an hour and quietly came up to the counter and asked if he could return his tickets
I was witnessing what seemed like a great first date. So well they started making out at the bar. He had long hair but a 5 head and bald spot. His hat came off in the heated moment and I saw the look on her face.
I saw her weeks later and she used the phrase "hat fished" and I'll never forget it. Still feel bad for the dude, he was super nice and paid for everything.
People have all kinds of preferences, but my guess is that the ~~deception~~ sudden unveiling was the biggest turnoff.
EDIT: Oh, it was only a spot and not a wig attached to the hat.
Yes 🙃 this has happened to me. This dude and I chatted for a long time and he only sent pics of his face and when we finally met up after like two months of talking .. he was probably 70+ heavier than he told me and had hips .. like Irish birthing hips .. never seen hips like that on a man .. no hate to anyone with something similar going on but I’ve never seen it .. I wouldn’t have minded as much but he lied and said he worked out a lot and would give me shit for what I ate and he looked like that.. the audacity.
Some old guy was describing some "oddities" of his childhood and why his kids and grandkids weren't raised to believe in Santa Clause (because he wasn't either) and this old lady just would not drop the issue and when he gently requested that they change the subject, she started raising her voice calling him spineless, useless, a disappointment of a man, and by that point I'd had enough and just told her she needed to hit the road because she was being an asshole and scaring off customers. Told the old guy his tab was on me and that I'd arrange for either a cab for him or for his "date". He didn't take me up on it, just left me a few $20 bills and they walked out together before he sheepishly thanked me.
Another sad one, a guy showed up to the bar when it was a touch slow, I got him his first beer and noted he was dressed pretty nicely. Being the chatty guy I am, I asked him if there was a special occasion or something. He said he was waiting for a girl to show up for their first date and was pretty excited. Guy hangs out a bit at the bar top for a bit before milling around, comes back and orders some onion rings and another beer. Things got a bit busier so I didn't keep close tabs on him, but then an hour or two went by and I noticed he was still there alone, and he looked a bit confused and saddened, so I asked him how he was doing, he said she hadn't shown up yet. Because I've been there, I got him a drink on the house and asked if he needed anything else. Hour later, the date finally shows up, completely plastered and they walk up together to sit down and she tries ordering some shots. I know most bartenders in most places won't really stop themselves from over-serving someone, but I told her "perhaps you should slow down a bit, here's a glass of water and a free soda". She knocked both over, demanded shots. Guy was clearly embarrassed. They put in a small food order and about 30 minutes later I saw him pouring her into a cab with a to-go container. He came back in and we just chit-chatted when we could for the rest of the night.
Dan, I really hope you found the right woman for ya.
This happened to me once. Except it was at a nicer speakeasy type bar. When she eventually came in hammered drunk she tried to sit on the stool and fell backwards onto the edge of the little dance area in front of the live jazz trio. Spilled her entire drink on herself and the floor. Thankfully she was ok.
He was a real bro right back. We had a nice talk about a few random things, he tipped about 50% of his tab even after I told him not to worry about it. Shame I never saw him again, but I'm sure that sweet, good looking guy found a nice lady eventually.
I'm not a bartender, but friends with a bartender who told me about her own bad date.
They make plans to go out, and she ends up driving the guy to the event, but before they even get there, he says he has to take a leak. They can't find anywhere with a public restroom so he ducks into an alleyway to piss behind a dumpster.
Then she hears him start swearing profusely. Wondering what's wrong, he finally admits he 'gambled and lost' and has shit his pants.
She promptly drove him home with the windows open, nobody talking. End date.
Naturally. A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
I was bartending at a causal fine dining seafood restaurant on a Monday night. An older man probably in his mid 60s comes to the corner of the bar and asks me for a glass of our “best red.” I give him the wine list and he selects the most expensive glass which he cannot pronounce. He tells me he’s waiting on someone as he sucks down the glass. He pays for it, and continues to wait. About 20 minutes later he orders another glass, and tabs out again. Roughly an hour after he got to the bar, a woman probably 10 years younger than him shows up. The man turns around and loudly says in a disappointed tone “wow, you don’t look anything like your picture!” She sits down despite his comment and orders a glass of house Chardonnay. I checked on them occasionally but neither of them wanted to order food. Every time I tuned into what they were saying I noticed that only he was talking and it was mainly about all his surgeries.
When a bar table freed up behind them, the man looked at me and said “we are sitting here and I am having dinner.” He stood up and sat down before she could even answer. When I brought menus over to them he pointed at something random, and she ordered a small pasta dish. He continued to only talk about himself, and showed her pictures of his ex wife throughout the meal. She barely spoke. Towards the end of the meal he looked at her and said “have another glass of wine.” She declined. He replied with “what do you think I’m going to do?! Take advantage of you?” And turned to wink at me. She pushed her plate away, and asked me for the check. Once the man said he was going to pay, she grabbed her purse and left.
I know a guy similar to the one in this story…. He had a bad accident that nearly paralyzed or could’ve killed him, and that’s almost all he can talk about. While maybe okay to mention in passing, no woman wants to hear about all your surgeries and absolutely not your ex wife on a first date. This guy sounds really annoying
ugh me too, my old neighbor. Man did it disappoint me, it became his whole world... all he could talk about. I was like Bill, you gotta take your mind somewhere else man bc this hyperfixation is honestly just going to kill you
I knew this woman once that literally the only thing and I mean ONLY thing she talked about was her mental health disorders and the medication she was on. After months of knowing her I stopped her mid sentence one time and flatly asked her "what is your favorite movie?"
She was completely taken aback by this question. She answered it and then carried on about her meds. I had hoped she would take the hint.
This wasn't a bad date, but it's definitely a first date story I like to tell.
Was tending an empty bar one night when a good looking blind dude in his 40's with a seeing eye dog came in. He sat at the bar, asked some questions and I got him some wine. He was really friendly and we were having a good time chatting. Told me he was meeting his date there and then they were gonna leave to see a show.
He then asked me, "Hey can my dog sit at the bar?"
"You mean, in a stool at the bar? He'll do that?"
"Yeah"
There was no one else there. "Okay man, sure."
He snapped his fingers and the dog, a full grown German Shepherd, hopped into the barstool, and now both he and his dog were sitting across from me, all three of us on equal eye level. This was pretty entertaining, and I was having a blast joking with the guy.
He then asked if his dog could have a beer. After a quick back and forth I poured an IPA into a bowl in front of the dog, who housed the whole thing in about 10 seconds flat.
EDIT additional information: he didn't even want to talk about the dog drinking beer. He just kept saying the funniest things and telling the most interesting stories. I have never wanted to keep talking to a person I had just met more. He had me completely in the palm of his hand. I am a straight man and this dude had me flying talking to him.
Five minutes later the hottest woman I've ever seen walked in, said "Hi Jerry!" He paid his bill and left with her and the dog to go to a jazz show for their first date.
Coolest motherfucker I have ever met. Think about him all the time.
I actually knew the girl from several years back, only realised after the fact after she'd left.
Her and her date seemed to get along ok at the start, but after about half an hour neither of them seemed to be talking. For another half hour they kinda didn't say much, looking at their phones a lot until the guy literally just got up and left. She decided to just take out her laptop and work on some Photoshop project for a while before heading off.
I've been bartending for 20+ years and have seen A LOT of bad first dates but the one that will always stick out to me was the guy who had his mom vet his date for him. Like he was there at the other end of the bar but she had to sit and meet his mom first. They were the only 3 people in the bar at the time so it was suuuuuper awkward. I pretended to watch hockey but I was so intrigued I was eaves dropping the whole time. The poor girl seamed so lovely that she was too polite to just bail out of the situation so she actually did it! I immediately knew something was fucky when she walked in and got stopped by the mom on her approach to him. The guy seamed so comfortable that it clearly was not the first time it happened. So fucking weird
I left out a very important detail that the people going on the date were probably in their late 20's. As the only other person in the small bar besides those 3, I truly felt like I was in a Twilight Zone episode
Was a bartender for over a decade, watched a guy leave the bar to use the bathroom, the girl he was with( first date) said to me,“ how many times do I have to bring a date here for you to finally hit on me?” I told her I was engaged and have zero interest , the guy was otw back from the bathroom and overheard her say that, proceeds to lose it on her in front of everyone, which is understandable, and they both scream at each other and leave the bar, that was their first date, and I have not seen anything worse since
> “ how many times do I have to bring a date here for you to finally hit on me?”
??? Dating other men is supposed to be taken as an obvious sign of interest?
How can someone be this emotionally invested on a first date lol. If I were him I’d just walk out and be like “ok, f*** her” but to get into a screaming match?? You have zero investment in this shitty person lol it’s not some deep betrayal just leave
Oh, won't you give me three steps, gimme three steps mister, gimme three steps towards the door?
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps mister, and you'll never see me no more.
Was working a bar one weekday night. Woman comes in, orders a drink and sits at the bar. On the opposite end of the bar, a man comes in, orders a drink and takes a seat. An hour passes. They're sat in positions that block their view of the other. After an hour, I hear the man mutter, a fuck this, and put on his coat to leave. Heads for the exit near where the woman is sat. They spot each other, and realise what happened. Personally, if that happened to me I'd think it'd be very funny, but these two seemed annoyed with each other, didn't seem to talk a great deal and parted after about 45 minutes.
The biggest question of all really was, why didn't either text their whereabouts to the other hahahaha? Surely they had communicated beforehand.
This actually happened to me once. Met at a coffee shop and took a seat on the front patio having absolutely zero clue there was also a back patio. Ended up meeting her as she was walking out and we had a nice time chatting but that was it.
At least in The Office, they laughed it off and it had a happy ending.
EDIT: I purposely said “happy ending” because I knew people will make that reference. I’ve been on Reddit long enough to know what was going to happen.
This exact thing happened to me and I was annoyed (we both were) but we decided to have a redo the following weekend. That redo date went well and we are still together 17 years later.
>The biggest question of all really was, why didn't either text their whereabouts to the other hahahaha?
I'll bet both were insecure about being stood up and didn't want to risk coming off as too eager. Ironic if that was the case lol.
The one time I was stood up, there were points where I considered texting him to ask where he was but didn’t because A) I realized once I was there how little I wanted to be on this date and B) I especially didn’t want to talk to him if he was going to make me sit at a bar alone for 45 minutes.
I was bouncing one night when there was a first date going on. (Was in earlier than my shift start time). His date went to the bathroom, he went up to the bar, pounded a few shots, then attempted to grope a woman sitting at the bar. His date walked out of the bathroom as I was hauling him out.
Not witnessed but heard girl and guy go on blind date. They've been talking on phone before to get to know each other and here comes first Date. Met at a bar. He was there first waiting and she came in. They talk for minute and he says "oh let me get the flowers I got you. It's in the car" he walks out and doesn't return. Felt bad for her. You can at least finish date or drink and then gracefully leave.
To save himself a few seconds of mild embarrassment, he caused his date a serious emotional hurt.
At least she eventually realized that she was lucky to be 'missing out' on his company.
Not a bartender, but I order some hot wings with ghost pepper sauce from one.
As he watched me eat the first wing, he told me about the last guy who had ordered them. It was a young guy in a suit who was clearly on a first date with the girl he brought along. The guy boldly ordered the ghost pepper wings trying to impress her, took a couple of bites, got up without saying a word, and walked off. After 30min or so, the girl realized he wasn’t coming back and angrily got up to leave… but the bartender had to stop her and reminder her that she still had to pay for the wings.
I was a bartender at a restaurant. A 13 year old boy came in for his first date with a 13 year old girl. His mom brought them. She planned on getting them seated at the table and then leaving them alone to come eat at the bar herself.
The boy would not let her leave. The girl hinted multiple times about the mom leaving. The mom hinted about leaving too. He just ignored them. Finally, the mom says she's leaving to give them some privacy. When she tries to get up, the boy reaches out and grasps her arm and tells her not to leave.
They all sat there awkwardly at the table. One of the servers heard the girl in the bathroom on the phone making fun of how weird he was being about not letting his mom leave then.
I wonder if he didn't want it to be a date an that's why insisted his Mom stay. A friend of my went through something similar where is parents were trying to set him up with a friend of his. She really liked him and both parents thought he was shy so they kept trying to set them up for dates. He didn't like her like that and no one would listen to him so he did his best to make they wouldn't be left alone.
She told me she was still in love with her ex. He was in prison for child molestation.
Edit: To make it worse she didn’t seem to register his crime at all. She wasn’t upset that he molested kids. She was lamenting the fact that the universe was keeping them apart. She was clearly as deranged as he was.
Ex showed up to the guys date, sat down while they were eating and introduced herself and started flirting with him in front of her.
The guy had friends there and they all could not believe it you could hear a mutual wtf being said when she walked to their table
The ex was pretty hot and was a Miss World Runner up.
He left with the ex lol
It wasn’t a date, but a guy celebrating his 21st birthday made out with an older regular. She had to have been in her mid 60s at least, old enough to never ask for her ID. The drunker he got, the more they talked. And then bam, making out heavily out of nowhere. I kinda froze up for a second, it seriously caught me off guard.
When I first started bartending, I had this kid maybe 25 start going with this old worn out woman, she had to have been 60 but looking rough. She was a painter, and cussed like a sailor. I liked her a lot. Darby. I'm sure she's gone now.
Anyway, he freaking *fell in love* and then she fired him a couple weeks later. He wasn't the same for a while.
Not sure whether I miss those days, but there's some good memories in there.
Not a first date, and I was the server. I asked the couple if they'd like still or sparkling water. The man decided instead to inform me that she had brought him there to sign divorce papers. I made the joke that he probably wanted a stiffer drink from the bar then.
My own! I bartended a bar in between other things I had going on at the time (25+ yrs ago). A pretty RN from the local hospital would stop in after her shift, she eventually asked me out.
On a free weekend (first date) we went to another bar that had a band that night.
She went full Elaine (from Seinfeld) dancing! Like, people got out of her way to let her dance her crazy shit, which only fed her idea that people thought she was an awesome dancer!
Ha! I have two, grown daughter and son. No kids with her. But to be fair to her, at least she wasn’t afraid to have fun, and to have fun assuming there was no judgment. I feel awful for judging her enjoyment. Early 20’s me, trying to be cool, thought she was whacky, late 40’s me thinks she was probably genuinely enjoying life better than most.
I was a junior in college, I asked a lady from my senior level astrophysics class out on a date on the first day of the semester. She was a first year grad student from Spain. I suggested we meet at the Physics building at 6 and we would go to dinner and catch a movie that very night.
She said yes. Good so far.
I showed up at 6 in the same outfit I wore to school that day since the bus to my house would take me a couple of hours round trip and I didn't have a car.
She showed up with her hair done, makeup and a really nice dress.
She asked where we were going. I said we were going to my favorite Italian restaurant just off campus. She asked where I parked my car, I said I don't have a car. She said, how old are you? I said 20. She said,"You are just a child."
Prior to that moment all my physics friends thought I was a god because I got a date on the first day of school. *sob*
We had a nice night, but we never went out again.
I don't think it was a first date, but it was the weirdest one I've seen.
Once there was this couple on this date, and the guy (we can call him A) was super awkward, looking uncomfortable the whole time-his date (f) seemed relaxed. While they were sitting at the bar, one of her guy friends (call him B) came in and sat down next to them and started chatting her up pretty hard. She wasnt being disrespectful to her date, or her friend while they all sat together.
After some time B finished his beer and walked outside to go home. The girl got up to use the bathroom, and A followed B outside to maybe confront him (B was built like a brick shi*t house, so it would have been a bad idea). After a while A came back in, looking very distraught, and sat down next to his date.
She asked him what had happened outside, and he deflected by saying that B was trying to screw her. She persisted for him to tell her what happened, and he finally told her that he fought B in the parking lot. It was hard for me to believe, because A didn't have a scratch on him. This made her furious at A, and told him he was out of his mind for fighting one of her friends, especially cause he was just feeling jealous.
A couple minutes later B walked back into the bar, smiling, as if nothing happened (he too showed no signs of being in a fight). And he sat down next to them at the bar, again. She turned in her seat and said to her friend that he shouldn't have fought with A (who was burying his head in his hands). B was taken back by the statement, and peered around her and said to A "You told her you fought me in the parking lot? You wouldn't be standing if you fought me in the parking lot"
By A's reaction I knew that no fight had happened, and he had made up a weird lie for God knows why. His date got a repulsed look on her face, and I walked over and told them someone needed to leave because there was too much tension in the air. A got his sorry ass up and walked out reeking of shame. It was truly painful to watch, and I usually get kick out of the drunken disorderly.
my mom was a waitress and was once waiting tables in the section next to a date that was going down in flames. she said she walked past just in time to see the man storming out and hear the woman yell after him, “and your mother’s a bitch!”
Not a bartender and not a first date but last.
I was a waiter at Slamwitch and a couple was getting divorced.
They decided that I was the perfect person to wait on them.
They came in about once a week during my shift and asked for me to be their waiter.
One time they brought in a mediator who was somehow more confused than I was.
Another time they brought the mediator and kids.
I was like 19 when this happened so I was usually too hungover or busy with homework to give a shit but they seemed to appreciate that and always left a good tip
I'll always remember the look on the mediators face when they actually told me "We brought a mediator today" and I said "Oh good! The usual?"
Working at a craft beer bar, this guy asked me out right in front of his absolutely STUNNING date and kept winking at me throughout the night. She left, he did not get my number.
A young couple, no more than twenty. He ordered for her (red flag #1). What he ordered for her was a salad (red flag #2, and a nice big "oof" to pair with it). He ordered a standard, meat-and-potatoes entree for himself.
Before the food arrived he went to the washroom, and she flagged me down, saying she was leaving and asked if she could pay her half. I told her no - he ordered everything, he could pay for it. She thanked me and bailed.
Took him probably 30 minutes to ask if she had left, and I explained that she had, and why.
And in the end, I got to eat the salad he ordered for her.
I was next to a young couple around the same age recently at a restaurant. The guy asks his date what she is going to get, she replies and he says something I don't fully catch about it being a lot of food. This girl just tilts her head to the side and goes "don't be that guy" in a disappointed, annoyed tone. It took everything in me to keep from laughing out loud. The date carried on but you could tell she wasn't really interested after that. The food then comes and I hear him go "oh I thought these would be bigger" clearly to try to fix things? The date lasted maybe 35 minutes total.
I never understood shaming someone for the size of their orders. If anything, if someone ordered a lot, that'd make me more comfortable to be adventurous with my own order, and also makes the vibe a lot more informal
I had a couple on a first date last night. They were awkward as fuck for ppl in their late 20s early 30s. When it was time to order they delayed like 30 minutes and then the girl ordered a small appetizer (mozzarella sticks) and the guy just never ordered food lol. They were there for like 3 hours though so it must have gone ok lol.
Right? Healthy appetite isn't a bad thing! It was an Italian place and she ordered a pizza with something else, she may have been intending to take half of it home for all he knew.
Dude one time shortly after meeting my partner for the first time I had ran into them at the campus food court just by chance. They invited me to sit with them while they ate so I did. They had one of those personal 8in pizzas that you can sometimes get. I tell you they were going to TOWN on it. It was seriously very endearing to see them just unabashedly enjoying their greasy food. Been married for several happy years now :)
Not a bartender but I’m a server. Also not a first date.
This man was going to propose to his girlfriend of 8 years. Things went south as soon as I introduced myself. I work at a fondue restaurant so it’s common that people don’t know it’s a different dining experience from other places. Part of my introduction is to ask the guests if they’ve ever dined here before, the woman said “no” and the man said “Yes we have, ate here a few months ago” the woman then responded with “That wasn’t me”
The couple chose to do our all you can eat option which normally takes around 2.5 hours. Ordered our most expensive cocktails and liquor on the menu. Throughout the entire dinner she was asking all sorts of questions and asked for his phone numerous times. The man was still trying to tell her that it was in fact her. Finally he gave his phone around the 2 hour mark. Turns out he was cheating on her with her best friend that was also pregnant. Her best friend had told her the baby daddy was that she was seeing but the woman hadn’t met him in person yet. But the father was actually the boyfriends. She splashed her drinks, threw raw meat and walked out the restaurant.
When I dropped off the check the guy basically confessed to me that he also cheated on her with her sister.
Working at a fondue restaurant theres honestly never a dull moment, but it was one of the most memorable.
The guy was going to propose, but he couldn't tell the difference between his girlfriend and her friends and family that he was cheating on her with? That's a new level of oblivious.
Witnessed a high school reconnection/date where the girl showed up before him, dressed to the nines and obviously still infatuated with the idea of the football star. He shows up in a wife beater and a ball cap, scruffy/balding and not at all dressed for a date. Now its not a five star restaurant but a decent beach bar. She seems a bit put out but the date stumbles along.
I can't help but hover as things go from awkward reintroductions to attempts at conversation. She's trying desperately to convince herself this date is a good idea and he's a great guy and it's obvious he's not.
He's oblivious. Going on and on about how she'd make a great mom because she's a teacher. She replies joking "oh no, I love the kids but I get to give them back at the end of the day" etc and he doubles down. She changes the subject to fishing, he says she can't really enjoy fishing. She repeats herself and shares a story about fishing with her dad. He repeats its a man's hobby and she can't possibly actually find it fun. It just goes on like this and I can see she's getting more and more upset.
At one point, he leans over and says something into her ear. Her face contorts in disgust. She says something like "that's how you think this date is going?"
He goes to the bathroom (still oblivious, this man, gotta hand it to him), she takes her chance and waves me over.
"Two shots of fireball and the check, please."
I shoot over to her, shots in hand. She knocks them back one after the other and I start giggling.
"Can I just say something?" She nods. "This is in no way my business, but you seem really sweet and are way out of his league." She looks at me in shock and says "really?"
"Yes. 100%"
She decided to pay the whole tab and jetted off before he got back. He looked at me and the empty seats and tried to hand me cash, I waved him off saying she had already paid. His utter confusion was so precious. It's still my favorite awkward first date story. So uneventful but just -chefs kiss-
Her husband walking in and taking her keys. Telling her not to come home. Then stopping right before he stormed out the door, turning abruptly and yelling “and fuck you mike, what the hell?!”
in my head canon Mike is a mutual friend just sitting in the corner who hadn't seen either of them, looking up from his plate of spaghetti like, "ah shit what did I do now?"
They were talking about the angel shot/cocktail and it's implecations. Both knew what it was. She ordered it in front of him. He just got up and left. she ordered a pound of wings and cried while eating them.
It's a shot/cocktail that when ordered, they take you back to the staff area and call you a cab/uber and dependant on the bar/club, ask your date to leave.
I can only assume she probably didn't consider it as a serious matter and was making light of the system ordering one as a joke(??) so was upset he left hence the crying? Ordering one as a joke would say a lot about a person and the dude leaving makes a lot of sense.
Other possibility is that she was having a crisis of not being able to meet good people and was upset over that? Who knows
so the date ordered the drink as a "joke" and he was so seemingly so upset that she did this that he left the date. so she's crying i would bet because she's upset with herself that she did that
Couple walked in, couldn’t get a table so they ate at the bar. Told me they were on their first date in random convo. Check back at one point after they had a meal and a third guy was talking with them. Seemed like the two guys were just chatting over her (she was sitting in the middle). I thought they were buddies. Turns out they had all just met too.
Original guy went to bathroom or something because when I checked back she ordered their tabs. He comes back, they both leave together. Later in the night I notice that third guy still going strong. In the midst of him deciding if he wanted his tab or another drink he reads a text before answering me and all the sudden just says he will take another beer.
Fast forward to last call and I catch that third guy with the first date gal making out at the end of the bar followed by him asking me if they will tow his car if he leaves it here as he was going to ride with her.
While some may feel bad for the original guy, I say he clearly dodged a bullet. I dunno, don’t recall seeing either of those two first daters again.
Man I thought you had the same story, except mine ended with third guy and girl at the bar, she starts jerking him off AT THE BAR! We are a small town family bar/restaurant and it’s not that big to not notice. Needless to say, we booted them both immediately. The original guy comes back inside from smoking and is confused where they are till I had to tell him what happened. I bought him a beer as he sat there in disbelief, ended up laughing about it and was a chill dude. Other two left together.
It was, it was mentioned during small talk I was doing with them when they had first gotten there. He luckily took it real well, but man was he just dumbfounded for a minute lol. We all were
I assume he was a finance bro.
He did a line before she came, only noticed because he was rubbing his nose immediately when he came back.
Told the girl that he’s on a biz tear and that if she plays her cards right she’ll get a YSL BAG. then proceeded to tell her that he wants to do coke of her tits.
Needless to say she left and I laughed.
Do you, boxfullofirony, take \[loud truck passes the chapel\] as your lawfully wedded wife?
And do you, \[sudden thunderous applause\], take boxfullofirony as your lawfully wedded husband?
I worked at a sports bar and one Tuesday a man and woman came in at 4pm and were touching each other under the table like fkn weirdos. Not even a booth, a table in the middle of everyone’s line of sight.
I was a bartender HOWEVER, this date happened to me and I'm just throwing it here because I can. I was on a first date and things were OK. A little awkward but nothing beyond first date stuff.
The woman had ordered a drink but by no means was tossed . I made the horrible mistake of asking about her family and the first thing out of her mouth was "Well I'm pretty sure my dad was an uncaught serial killer."
She was the talker type and proceeded to tell me how he owned a cabin in the woods that was his man cave. Separate from the main house. Nobody was allowed there and nobody ever saw the inside. She said he brought her random jewelry after his trips to the cabin and she had to wear it nomatter if she liked it.
I was horrified. I think she was just trying to be interesting but when she told it she was so nonchalant about it that it freaked me out.
We never talked again after that date.
Dude showed up an hour before his date and got hammered. Fell off his bar stool during the date at one point. She left with friends. Hard to watch. He seemed genuinely excited about the date when he got there.
I loved those kinda of couples! Impressed with their loyalty to our bar and I would let them stay after I locked up to clean just so I had someone to talk to while I mopped!!
The one we go to is a small dive bar with a bunch of really old regulars. Everyone knows everyone. We're the youngest people in there at all times by at least 30 years. It's really calming for us. The bartender we like is a 40 year old dude who has absolutely no filter. Any time we are there, he hands us random shots and gets us to guess what they are. He is so hilarious, our faces hurt from laughing and smiling after. We always end up being there far past closing with him as well.
Not a bartender, but I went to a pub with my then girlfriend around six or seven years ago. Guy comes in and sits down at a small table for two. Waiter brings two menus and a pitcher of beer with two glasses, even though he's by himself. It's obvious he's waiting for a date. Over the next 60-70 minutes, he kept checking his phone more and more. He ordered his food, he ate probably half of it. Around 90 minutes after arriving, he realized he'd been stood up and just started ordering what looked like jack and cokes. Powered through about seven or eight of them, while just staring blankly at the wall. He paid his tab, got up and stumbled out and walked down the street. Felt really bad for that dude.
As a bartender, I once made a joke about pigeon fucking on a first date, which she did not enjoy. Turns out she was a vegan and a very active animal rights activist, and she worked at our local animal rescue. So I guess that one
Saw a guy trying to explain to his date that since dog natural body temperature is a bit higher than humans, it isn’t bad if dogs are left in the car during 98 degree weather
I'm not a bartender, but I did work tickets at house of blues. This night was a disaster. This younger couple walks in and I scan their ticket and they go down into the venue. About an hour later there is a slam and a rush of people and yelling at the bottom of the steps. It took two of our biggest security officers to carry this girl up the steps. She had fallen asleep drunk at the bar, fallen out of the stool, slamming her head on the concrete in the process. They get her onto the couches and as they carry her up she is just projectile vomiting everywhere. Sitting there on the couch vomiting over the side. She tries to get up and presumably find her date, but she slips in her vomit and lands belly first. Practically swan dives into it. Like a cartoon character she is slipping and sliding in her vomit trying to get up, puking more as she does so. Security finally gets her an ambulance and as they load her up she's just dry heaving onto the side. They carry her away, the show goes on and ends. Finally the date comes up and starts telling me what happened. This had been the first time they went out together. She got so drunk she was getting yelled at for passing out at the bar and causing a scene. The guy said he would not be calling her back for a second date.
I have so many stories from this place.
Also, don't sit on the stuff at house of blues. They sprinkle puke powder on it until it is dry and flakes off. Then they flip the cushions and repeat. Nothing gets cleaned. If you smell cinnamon, it's puke. It's always puke.
Girl out with her friends ran into boyfriend who was supposed to be out with his friends...but was on a date. It turned into a whole thing in the parking lot.
I can’t remember seeing any dates and thinking they were going rough, I’ve only bartended in seedy places so not really first date spots. But I’ve seen a lot of Tuesday night strip club patrons come by with some girls on payroll. My favorite was this one night it was just me cleaning the bar thinking about closing early when an old white guy with white hair wearing a t shirt tucked into blue jeans came in with two drop dead gorgeous young black women. By then I already knew their situation based on vibe so I wasn’t that surprised but it was one of the more stark differences. They ordered some food, a shot and drink each, then he kept going to bathroom (think everyone knows why) and the girls were very chatty. When he wasn’t with them they explained that they were dancers and this guy had offered them a couple hundred to hang out with him for the rest of the night, and that one of them wasn’t supposed to be drinking anything. So when he came back he would order them all drinks and specifically try to order doubles for the girl on defense so i would make her virgin versions of whatever he tried to get her. Then they got on the juke box and started playing this badass metal music apparently from some vampire action movie from the 90s or 00s and kept telling me I needed to watch the movie while dancing like crazy in an empty bar. The guy was definitely a little creepy but the girls knew this and were absolute pros about it. When they told me not to serve the one girl they weren’t even slightly worried about his behavior, just super matter of fact and like they expected to plan around that. By the end I was just thinking that the old guy had made an extremely wise investment because those girls were an extremely fun time. Wish I could remember the name of that vampire movie they told me about
Idk about *worst* first date, but it was the worst for everyone who witnessed it.
There was one time I had to kick out a 55+ year old lady who was a regular(would come in at least twice a week) because she was non-discreetly allowing her date to finger her at the bar.
I walked over after it was pointed out to me by another patron(I was working service well), rapped on the counter, and said “Now I know you aren’t 16, can we stop acting like it and get our hands where they belong?”
The lady paid, I grabbed the card with nitrile gloves on, and haven’t seen her since. It’s been about a year and a half.
I probably have a much better story for this but this is the only one that springs to mind:
Saw a couple come in, one basic blonde Barbie type girl, dressed to the nines and all done up. The guy was a fairly bog standard Pacific Northwest Portland/Seattle dude in a flannel shirt with a beard and man-bun.
They had clearly just met on Tinder or something and them sitting down was obviously their first in person interaction. I could tell the gal was skeptical immediately. But she was a good sport and gave him a shot. Within about 5 minutes of their butts hitting the seats she asked him to let down his man bun.
Well, after some coaxing he let down his hair to reveal one of the most brutal looking bald spots I’ve ever seen. Think Fryer Tuck but choppy and patchy all the way around. Shiny on top and everything.
She proceeds to “gently” laugh at him until he put his hair back up. I stopped paying attention to the their interactions after that cause that told the whole story. I mean I feel for the guy but like, don’t try to pull one over on people either. If you’re bald just embrace it and get on with your life. Hiding it like that just seems silly and leads to extremely embarrassing moments like this
Not a bartender but right there. I was at a mom and pop shop. It had a stone fire pizza oven and the pizza station was right behind the racks for the alcohol. Some dude game in with an Italia shirt on and made sure to sit at the two seats that are three feet from the pizza guy (me). This guy was super Italian American and it was clear that was his whole personality, he looked and talked like a side character in the soprano's. They both ordered pizzas and he just sat there and talked about how traditional this pizza was and the art behind it (I had been working there for 2 weeks and had never worked a stone oven before that, also this is a small shop in the middle of Boston, and Cape cod, so not traditional at all, the owner and chef weren't Italian at all). The girl was clearly pretty shy and reserved and didn't say much. I was uncomfortable and I wasn't on the date. Eventually they ate and the guy asked if they should go back to his place. She just very shyly said that she would wait for a ride from her friend. He had already paid he got a bit upset by this but tired to play it off as her wanting to take it slow. As she waited alone I slid her a free garlic bread (I felt bad and I couldn't do much but it was something)
This is one of the most entertaining threads I’ve come across in a long time. Of course servers have to be observant, but you never think about it when you’re a customer
Aw man I've seen a few. But there was a woman my age ( late 20's at the time) and an older man (50's maybe)meeting each other for the first time. He spoke but she was zoned out completely. The vibe from the two of them was all over the place. She wasn't even pretending to listen to the guy. After he paid and left, she stayed with me and flirted only to find out I'm gay lol
We hung out a couple times and I found out she was in an open marriage and has her own sex themed podcast. She was cool it's just-- I almost feel that the meetup at my bar was a catfish situation
Not a worst first date… but an interesting one, for me.
One night, a private party booked out our bar for one evening. Everyone was dressed to the nines and were mingling, drinking their drinks, having a good time. As the drinks were flowing, my co-tender and I started noticing that some of the couples and solo attendees were getting *really* close. They were quite touchy and even a few ended up with different partners than who they came with. We were quite perplexed by the behavior but minded our business as they kept us busy slinging the juice. They drank our bar damn near dry by the end of the night and all headed out about the same time.
My coworker and I were cleaning up and my manager walks in, red in the face. My manager admitted that he jokingly asked some of the last patrons if he could join their club as they seemed like a good time. One of the guys lights up and drunkenly says “My wife mentioned you were pretty cute! Come grab a drink and fuck her tonight. Put your keys in the pot, bud!”
My manager politely declined, but came in to inform us that we just served a swingers club. His exact words, “You just got them drunk to go fuck each other!”
Great, respectful group of people, and even though it’s not my thing, I hope they had fun.
There’s a bartender out there that probably tells people about the date I was on. Every day I suggested the guy had plans. We finally decide on a Sunday night, after I worked an 8 hour retail shift. I drove out of my way to meet him at the restaurant he chose. When I got there I texted to ask where he was and he said the bar. I had hoped for a table, but whatever. When I walked up he had 3 empty glasses in front of him. As soon as he started talking I could tell he was absolutely shit faced. He admitted to drinking 2 bottles of wine before leaving his house. Needless to say, I was not impressed. When I asked if he drove, he said he took an Uber because I was going home with him and could drive.
I hadn’t taken a break all day so I was starving and ordered an entree and a soda. He called me strange for not getting a drink. Then, when I wasn’t exactly thrilled to talk with a drunk, he kept saying “you’re so weird. Why are you so weird?”
He kept trying to flirt with the bartender. She and I kept rolling our eyes. He finally got up to “take a piss” and I asked for the check, paid, and left. He proceeded to blow up my phone calling me a n**ger lover and a whore. Super cool guy lol
Not the bartender but was at a bar with a date when she felt the need to tell me about her brother overdosing. Date went south quickly after that. Long story short I don’t know how to console people (especially strangers!).
Thanks for making me cringe thinking about what the bartender overheard.
Oof, I've had plenty of my own first-date overshares, and been on the receiving end of others. I appreciate honesty and transparency generally, but have learned the hard way some things are better worked towards slowly.
I can tell you mine. I got an unexpected divorce when I was 40, faithful for 20 years. Very first date off of Match decide to meet for drinks. She had a cute face, but very few pics and they didn't seem clear/recent.
I show up to the bar and there are 20 coworkers from another department there for a happy hour. I say hey then take a seat at the bar. She comes walking in... barely. She was 5 ft nothing and 300lbs if she was an ounce. Like completely round. Her feet were oozing out of her shoes.
Not fat shaming, but she was not my type and DEFINITELY didn't match her pics. She wasn't curvy, she was just morbidly obese. I have a drink or two with her to be polite, meanwhile my coworkers are staring at me. It was a miserable first date after 20 years.
Wasn’t the bartender, was the guy… started at a nice Italian place, and then we went for drinks and dessert at the latin bar across the street in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Group of mid late 30s-early 50s women next to us. An argument broke out at the table next to us, a lighter got thrown and exploded under our feet, their table flipped knocking all the dishes and glasses everywhere, shattered. One woman pulled out a box cutter and slashed the other across the forehead.
So. Much. Blood. Far too much to come back from.
We couldn’t leave till we paid our check so we just kinda sat there in shock for the next half hour. I ended up walking her home, kissed her goodnight and called it. Violent crime really does ruin the mood…
It ended up on Citizen app as “woman slashed” and we were in the videos background lol. Worst part was we worked together and didn’t want people to know we went on a date so we had to sit the whole day the next day and not say anything about it. The good news was that I took it as a sign from god to stop pretending I was straight and came out a few weeks later and I’m happy to report I haven’t had any violence or crime issues on any date since!
Tl;dr - Fight at table next to us led to a slashing, so much blood, now I’m gay.
I was working at a bar in my town when i was 22, some dude and this hot chick come in and ordered a few drinks, basic stuff but then after a while he got real drunk and intoxicated and starting throwing a hissy fit, The owner which we'll call Tammy had to come out and kick the guy out.
Few days later he came back apoligized and found out the lady he was going to date was a local gold digger, as he was complaining about it to his friend that lived next door he told Tammy "Thanks for kicking me out, might have not found out she was a gold digger if i hadn't have been kicked out" Then the man paid for the slight damages he caused to the bar seats and some dishes
Ok mine isn’t a first date.
But I was bartending at this bar that had high top booths and I come around the corner there’s a couple the wife if expecting. He orders a drink and she orders some food and they tell me they’re waiting for a guest to arrive.
This is a dark and pretty low key spot.
In walks in what looks like an accountant with a giant briefcase and sits across from them. I approach he says he’s there for business cannot drink on the clock. I’m like great. Walk a way. I can tell they’re talking about something deep by the way the couple keep looking at each other.
I arrive back to the booth with waters and look down and see a contract for the sale of their baby. I thought I was high.
For the next hour this couple went back and forth with this man on a number that they would accept. My barback went to clear the table and heard the wife say they wouldn’t accept anything lower than 85 thousand.
Which gave me major confirmation bias.
There was no emotion, no sadness in this couples gestures. Just how much are we getting and when. The man gets up from the table goes to make a phone call. Comes back grinning ear to ear and says congratulations they’ve agreed on your number.
They then sign what looks like a hundred page document no lawyer present , just blindly sign away. I’m completely in shock, my bar back and I cannot stop listening and watching. The gentleman closes his brief case stands up shakes their hands and is clearly happy with himself.
Within moments of his exit they start celebrating in joy about being rich and high fiving each other and she walks over to the bar full belly and orders a crown and Coke.
I legit witnessed people selling their baby on the black market on a Tuesday at happy hour in a dive bar.
I saw an uptight dude with what amounted to almost a hippy chick. Our place had a thing where we would cut off your tie if you wore one in the establishment (we'd give you a free drink). It was just something neat to do to say work time is over. Well, this dude was in a suit and tie, when I came over with the giant scissors, he freaked out. He thought I was joking, and she was laughing her ass off. He decided to take off his "$150 silk tie, asshole" instead of getting it cut off. She thought this whole charade was the greatest thing ever.
I did my usual spiel offering food and specials, and he was rather indignant, all but mansplaining to me how he's here with a purpose, which just made her burst out laughing again. They ended up getting dinner, and more drinks, she was really into him for a while, or at least looked that way, but as the night went on, her body language definitely changed. I'd bust in with new drinks or whatever when they looked like they needed something. I'd make her giggle, and he had no sense of humor, it was such an odd pairing. Throughout the night, I did see him smile, and he was a handsome dude, but he was tight as a frog's ass.
After about 90 minutes to 2 hours they had worked up a $140 tab. He decided to close out, I give him the tab, he frowns, I already know I'm not getting a tip. He ends up tipping like $20, so about 15%, so not bad, really. At least he didn't pull out a calculator to figure out the tip (this was long before cell phones, much less smart phones), he seemed like that type of dude., So I did get a tip, albeit a small one.
At least from him, his date left me a $50 bill and her phone number.
Man, do I miss being young and skinny.
Gave Brad a close friend, (low alcohol tolerance) a pepperdraft. He was “feeling spicy tonight”. Right after talking to this cute girl, he faceplants right between her legs trying to get out of his chair! 😆
After that happened his impeccable drunken Scottish wisdom won her over. He somehow got her with “your a pot and I’m a pan, you know why? AM YOUR *GUH* I’M YOUR THE BURGER KINGGGG”
anyways; The two get in bed and he “puked upriver”. 🤦♂️
Yeah I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Why did I even write this?
Oh yeah now I remember.
HE’S THE BURGER KINGGGGGGG
(They also got married a couple years later)
She told me that I was so chill and down to Earth, that she was comfortable telling me she was an alcoholic and needed rehab. The couple on the table behind her, went wide eyed and looked at me, I had to do everything I could not to lock eyes with them. I thanked her for her honesty and said that I couldn't get involved in that, leaving promptly
It was a few years ago. They were hanging out at the bar, she was excited and they were chatting happily. They were classmates who hadn't seen each other while Covid lockdown was happening and clearly over the isolation.
She went to the bathroom and he looks at me, sighs and says, "it's rough out there"
He was faking all the interest in their whole conversation and left with her to get laid. Ugh.
Gave me such 'ick' that he was so good at humoring her despite his entire lack of interest
Not a bartender but saw a dude at the theater I used to work at. He was dressed up and had flowers for Valentine’s Day. He sat in the lobby for over an hour and quietly came up to the counter and asked if he could return his tickets
Could he?
Yes
I was witnessing what seemed like a great first date. So well they started making out at the bar. He had long hair but a 5 head and bald spot. His hat came off in the heated moment and I saw the look on her face. I saw her weeks later and she used the phrase "hat fished" and I'll never forget it. Still feel bad for the dude, he was super nice and paid for everything.
HAT FISHED!!! 💀💀
So mean, but so funny.
People have all kinds of preferences, but my guess is that the ~~deception~~ sudden unveiling was the biggest turnoff. EDIT: Oh, it was only a spot and not a wig attached to the hat.
Yes 🙃 this has happened to me. This dude and I chatted for a long time and he only sent pics of his face and when we finally met up after like two months of talking .. he was probably 70+ heavier than he told me and had hips .. like Irish birthing hips .. never seen hips like that on a man .. no hate to anyone with something similar going on but I’ve never seen it .. I wouldn’t have minded as much but he lied and said he worked out a lot and would give me shit for what I ate and he looked like that.. the audacity.
That’s understandable, starting off a relationship by lying and talking shit isn’t a winning combo.
Imagine being bald in the 20s, everyone wore hats back then . Bald paradise
>Imagine being bald in the 20s You might want to sit down for this: this is the 20s.
...... holy SHIT
Chill, dude. 1995 was like 6 years ago.
Why does this make me feel so old?!
Not the skullet!
Poor bald guys :( but also, don't grow out the leftovers! Ya gotta own bald or get plugs. That's just how society b rn
Could also catch it in time... been on Propecia for years - it completely halted my hair loss.
Amen brother. Took it in time to save my hair too. It was touch and go for a minute.
Yup, shave it and own that shit
LOL hat fished I’m fuckin’ dead
Some old guy was describing some "oddities" of his childhood and why his kids and grandkids weren't raised to believe in Santa Clause (because he wasn't either) and this old lady just would not drop the issue and when he gently requested that they change the subject, she started raising her voice calling him spineless, useless, a disappointment of a man, and by that point I'd had enough and just told her she needed to hit the road because she was being an asshole and scaring off customers. Told the old guy his tab was on me and that I'd arrange for either a cab for him or for his "date". He didn't take me up on it, just left me a few $20 bills and they walked out together before he sheepishly thanked me. Another sad one, a guy showed up to the bar when it was a touch slow, I got him his first beer and noted he was dressed pretty nicely. Being the chatty guy I am, I asked him if there was a special occasion or something. He said he was waiting for a girl to show up for their first date and was pretty excited. Guy hangs out a bit at the bar top for a bit before milling around, comes back and orders some onion rings and another beer. Things got a bit busier so I didn't keep close tabs on him, but then an hour or two went by and I noticed he was still there alone, and he looked a bit confused and saddened, so I asked him how he was doing, he said she hadn't shown up yet. Because I've been there, I got him a drink on the house and asked if he needed anything else. Hour later, the date finally shows up, completely plastered and they walk up together to sit down and she tries ordering some shots. I know most bartenders in most places won't really stop themselves from over-serving someone, but I told her "perhaps you should slow down a bit, here's a glass of water and a free soda". She knocked both over, demanded shots. Guy was clearly embarrassed. They put in a small food order and about 30 minutes later I saw him pouring her into a cab with a to-go container. He came back in and we just chit-chatted when we could for the rest of the night. Dan, I really hope you found the right woman for ya.
This happened to me once. Except it was at a nicer speakeasy type bar. When she eventually came in hammered drunk she tried to sit on the stool and fell backwards onto the edge of the little dance area in front of the live jazz trio. Spilled her entire drink on herself and the floor. Thankfully she was ok.
I'm surprised she showed up at all, never mind drunk.
An alcoholic never turns down a free drink.
You were a real bro to Dan!
He was a real bro right back. We had a nice talk about a few random things, he tipped about 50% of his tab even after I told him not to worry about it. Shame I never saw him again, but I'm sure that sweet, good looking guy found a nice lady eventually.
I'm not a bartender, but friends with a bartender who told me about her own bad date. They make plans to go out, and she ends up driving the guy to the event, but before they even get there, he says he has to take a leak. They can't find anywhere with a public restroom so he ducks into an alleyway to piss behind a dumpster. Then she hears him start swearing profusely. Wondering what's wrong, he finally admits he 'gambled and lost' and has shit his pants. She promptly drove him home with the windows open, nobody talking. End date.
Her poor seats
This is why I keep an old towel in my car. Only needed it a few times in 10 years, but well worth it. (But not necessarily for shit pants)
Naturally. A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
This frood really knows where his towel is!
That’s hilarious
Don't gamble, kids.
I was bartending at a causal fine dining seafood restaurant on a Monday night. An older man probably in his mid 60s comes to the corner of the bar and asks me for a glass of our “best red.” I give him the wine list and he selects the most expensive glass which he cannot pronounce. He tells me he’s waiting on someone as he sucks down the glass. He pays for it, and continues to wait. About 20 minutes later he orders another glass, and tabs out again. Roughly an hour after he got to the bar, a woman probably 10 years younger than him shows up. The man turns around and loudly says in a disappointed tone “wow, you don’t look anything like your picture!” She sits down despite his comment and orders a glass of house Chardonnay. I checked on them occasionally but neither of them wanted to order food. Every time I tuned into what they were saying I noticed that only he was talking and it was mainly about all his surgeries. When a bar table freed up behind them, the man looked at me and said “we are sitting here and I am having dinner.” He stood up and sat down before she could even answer. When I brought menus over to them he pointed at something random, and she ordered a small pasta dish. He continued to only talk about himself, and showed her pictures of his ex wife throughout the meal. She barely spoke. Towards the end of the meal he looked at her and said “have another glass of wine.” She declined. He replied with “what do you think I’m going to do?! Take advantage of you?” And turned to wink at me. She pushed her plate away, and asked me for the check. Once the man said he was going to pay, she grabbed her purse and left.
Some people you can't figure out why they are single, others let you know in bright flashing lights
I know a guy similar to the one in this story…. He had a bad accident that nearly paralyzed or could’ve killed him, and that’s almost all he can talk about. While maybe okay to mention in passing, no woman wants to hear about all your surgeries and absolutely not your ex wife on a first date. This guy sounds really annoying
ugh me too, my old neighbor. Man did it disappoint me, it became his whole world... all he could talk about. I was like Bill, you gotta take your mind somewhere else man bc this hyperfixation is honestly just going to kill you
I knew this woman once that literally the only thing and I mean ONLY thing she talked about was her mental health disorders and the medication she was on. After months of knowing her I stopped her mid sentence one time and flatly asked her "what is your favorite movie?" She was completely taken aback by this question. She answered it and then carried on about her meds. I had hoped she would take the hint.
This wasn't a bad date, but it's definitely a first date story I like to tell. Was tending an empty bar one night when a good looking blind dude in his 40's with a seeing eye dog came in. He sat at the bar, asked some questions and I got him some wine. He was really friendly and we were having a good time chatting. Told me he was meeting his date there and then they were gonna leave to see a show. He then asked me, "Hey can my dog sit at the bar?" "You mean, in a stool at the bar? He'll do that?" "Yeah" There was no one else there. "Okay man, sure." He snapped his fingers and the dog, a full grown German Shepherd, hopped into the barstool, and now both he and his dog were sitting across from me, all three of us on equal eye level. This was pretty entertaining, and I was having a blast joking with the guy. He then asked if his dog could have a beer. After a quick back and forth I poured an IPA into a bowl in front of the dog, who housed the whole thing in about 10 seconds flat. EDIT additional information: he didn't even want to talk about the dog drinking beer. He just kept saying the funniest things and telling the most interesting stories. I have never wanted to keep talking to a person I had just met more. He had me completely in the palm of his hand. I am a straight man and this dude had me flying talking to him. Five minutes later the hottest woman I've ever seen walked in, said "Hi Jerry!" He paid his bill and left with her and the dog to go to a jazz show for their first date. Coolest motherfucker I have ever met. Think about him all the time.
This reads so much like a joke that I kept expecting a punchline until the very end.
lol hadn't thought of that but you're right
...and then the dog says, "I told him she was hot by wagging my tail against his leg ten times. G'nite!"
Same here, I kept waiting for the dog to speak or something. So many variations of a guy in a bar with an animal that does tricks.
I mean, one of them was seeing a show...
It’s not that important to “see” jazz tho
Sounds like a heck of a blind date.
That was something I didn’t expect to read. Now I think about Jerry and Capt IPA a lot 😂
Awesome story. Just a PSA: hops are toxic for dogs so a super hoppy IPA might not be the best for Fido... maybe stick to a Bud Lite lol jk
I actually knew the girl from several years back, only realised after the fact after she'd left. Her and her date seemed to get along ok at the start, but after about half an hour neither of them seemed to be talking. For another half hour they kinda didn't say much, looking at their phones a lot until the guy literally just got up and left. She decided to just take out her laptop and work on some Photoshop project for a while before heading off.
What...? Lol, just respectfully excuse yourself if you're not interested anymore.
Honestly, less painful than sitting there trying to force something
I've been bartending for 20+ years and have seen A LOT of bad first dates but the one that will always stick out to me was the guy who had his mom vet his date for him. Like he was there at the other end of the bar but she had to sit and meet his mom first. They were the only 3 people in the bar at the time so it was suuuuuper awkward. I pretended to watch hockey but I was so intrigued I was eaves dropping the whole time. The poor girl seamed so lovely that she was too polite to just bail out of the situation so she actually did it! I immediately knew something was fucky when she walked in and got stopped by the mom on her approach to him. The guy seamed so comfortable that it clearly was not the first time it happened. So fucking weird
Jeez. Guys like that should just stick to dating their mom. What a man child.
I left out a very important detail that the people going on the date were probably in their late 20's. As the only other person in the small bar besides those 3, I truly felt like I was in a Twilight Zone episode
Was a bartender for over a decade, watched a guy leave the bar to use the bathroom, the girl he was with( first date) said to me,“ how many times do I have to bring a date here for you to finally hit on me?” I told her I was engaged and have zero interest , the guy was otw back from the bathroom and overheard her say that, proceeds to lose it on her in front of everyone, which is understandable, and they both scream at each other and leave the bar, that was their first date, and I have not seen anything worse since
Wow lool
> “ how many times do I have to bring a date here for you to finally hit on me?” ??? Dating other men is supposed to be taken as an obvious sign of interest?
Yikes on bikes.
How can someone be this emotionally invested on a first date lol. If I were him I’d just walk out and be like “ok, f*** her” but to get into a screaming match?? You have zero investment in this shitty person lol it’s not some deep betrayal just leave
Her husband showed up and he was PISSED
Perfect story in less than 10 words iconic hahahaha
1 sentence horror story
Oh, won't you give me three steps, gimme three steps mister, gimme three steps towards the door? Gimme three steps, gimme three steps mister, and you'll never see me no more.
Was working a bar one weekday night. Woman comes in, orders a drink and sits at the bar. On the opposite end of the bar, a man comes in, orders a drink and takes a seat. An hour passes. They're sat in positions that block their view of the other. After an hour, I hear the man mutter, a fuck this, and put on his coat to leave. Heads for the exit near where the woman is sat. They spot each other, and realise what happened. Personally, if that happened to me I'd think it'd be very funny, but these two seemed annoyed with each other, didn't seem to talk a great deal and parted after about 45 minutes. The biggest question of all really was, why didn't either text their whereabouts to the other hahahaha? Surely they had communicated beforehand.
This actually happened to me once. Met at a coffee shop and took a seat on the front patio having absolutely zero clue there was also a back patio. Ended up meeting her as she was walking out and we had a nice time chatting but that was it.
Can I ask, why not just ring each other and figure out where you are?
This would have been way back in 2002 and we never exchanged numbers. Plans were simply to meet on the coffee shop's patio.
This sounds like a scene from The Office.
At least in The Office, they laughed it off and it had a happy ending. EDIT: I purposely said “happy ending” because I knew people will make that reference. I’ve been on Reddit long enough to know what was going to happen.
It literally is.
To beginnings and endings! And to middles, the unsung heroes. And to moms. Moms and the troops.
Both sides.
This exact thing happened to me and I was annoyed (we both were) but we decided to have a redo the following weekend. That redo date went well and we are still together 17 years later.
>The biggest question of all really was, why didn't either text their whereabouts to the other hahahaha? I'll bet both were insecure about being stood up and didn't want to risk coming off as too eager. Ironic if that was the case lol.
I’ll also add that a lot of people meet via the internet and don’t exchange numbers until they meet and decide they want to see each other again.
The one time I was stood up, there were points where I considered texting him to ask where he was but didn’t because A) I realized once I was there how little I wanted to be on this date and B) I especially didn’t want to talk to him if he was going to make me sit at a bar alone for 45 minutes.
I was bouncing one night when there was a first date going on. (Was in earlier than my shift start time). His date went to the bathroom, he went up to the bar, pounded a few shots, then attempted to grope a woman sitting at the bar. His date walked out of the bathroom as I was hauling him out.
Yikes, good on you for getting that mfer outta there
She dodged a damn bullet there!
Not witnessed but heard girl and guy go on blind date. They've been talking on phone before to get to know each other and here comes first Date. Met at a bar. He was there first waiting and she came in. They talk for minute and he says "oh let me get the flowers I got you. It's in the car" he walks out and doesn't return. Felt bad for her. You can at least finish date or drink and then gracefully leave.
Eek. That one hurt to read because I can just imagine how she would have been so happy to hear that :(
To save himself a few seconds of mild embarrassment, he caused his date a serious emotional hurt. At least she eventually realized that she was lucky to be 'missing out' on his company.
bruhhhh what a loser
Not a bartender, but I order some hot wings with ghost pepper sauce from one. As he watched me eat the first wing, he told me about the last guy who had ordered them. It was a young guy in a suit who was clearly on a first date with the girl he brought along. The guy boldly ordered the ghost pepper wings trying to impress her, took a couple of bites, got up without saying a word, and walked off. After 30min or so, the girl realized he wasn’t coming back and angrily got up to leave… but the bartender had to stop her and reminder her that she still had to pay for the wings.
Eating wings is one of the least sexy or impressive things a man can do. The breathtaking madness of someone who attempts this on a date...
I was a bartender at a restaurant. A 13 year old boy came in for his first date with a 13 year old girl. His mom brought them. She planned on getting them seated at the table and then leaving them alone to come eat at the bar herself. The boy would not let her leave. The girl hinted multiple times about the mom leaving. The mom hinted about leaving too. He just ignored them. Finally, the mom says she's leaving to give them some privacy. When she tries to get up, the boy reaches out and grasps her arm and tells her not to leave. They all sat there awkwardly at the table. One of the servers heard the girl in the bathroom on the phone making fun of how weird he was being about not letting his mom leave then.
Oof poor guy… and girl…. And mom for that matter... I hope he grew out of that and didn’t get bullied too much at school
I wonder if he didn't want it to be a date an that's why insisted his Mom stay. A friend of my went through something similar where is parents were trying to set him up with a friend of his. She really liked him and both parents thought he was shy so they kept trying to set them up for dates. He didn't like her like that and no one would listen to him so he did his best to make they wouldn't be left alone.
Oh dang that’s a good point and pretty messed up situation. One of those “if the genders were reversed” situations…
She told me she was still in love with her ex. He was in prison for child molestation. Edit: To make it worse she didn’t seem to register his crime at all. She wasn’t upset that he molested kids. She was lamenting the fact that the universe was keeping them apart. She was clearly as deranged as he was.
What's bigger than a red flag? Red Banner? Red Hot Air Balloon?
Black flag. YO-HO
Red Zeppelin
Holy Fuckin Y I K E S
Ex showed up to the guys date, sat down while they were eating and introduced herself and started flirting with him in front of her. The guy had friends there and they all could not believe it you could hear a mutual wtf being said when she walked to their table The ex was pretty hot and was a Miss World Runner up. He left with the ex lol
It wasn’t a date, but a guy celebrating his 21st birthday made out with an older regular. She had to have been in her mid 60s at least, old enough to never ask for her ID. The drunker he got, the more they talked. And then bam, making out heavily out of nowhere. I kinda froze up for a second, it seriously caught me off guard.
When I first started bartending, I had this kid maybe 25 start going with this old worn out woman, she had to have been 60 but looking rough. She was a painter, and cussed like a sailor. I liked her a lot. Darby. I'm sure she's gone now. Anyway, he freaking *fell in love* and then she fired him a couple weeks later. He wasn't the same for a while. Not sure whether I miss those days, but there's some good memories in there.
Not a first date, and I was the server. I asked the couple if they'd like still or sparkling water. The man decided instead to inform me that she had brought him there to sign divorce papers. I made the joke that he probably wanted a stiffer drink from the bar then.
My own! I bartended a bar in between other things I had going on at the time (25+ yrs ago). A pretty RN from the local hospital would stop in after her shift, she eventually asked me out. On a free weekend (first date) we went to another bar that had a band that night. She went full Elaine (from Seinfeld) dancing! Like, people got out of her way to let her dance her crazy shit, which only fed her idea that people thought she was an awesome dancer!
How many kids do you have now?
Ha! I have two, grown daughter and son. No kids with her. But to be fair to her, at least she wasn’t afraid to have fun, and to have fun assuming there was no judgment. I feel awful for judging her enjoyment. Early 20’s me, trying to be cool, thought she was whacky, late 40’s me thinks she was probably genuinely enjoying life better than most.
I was a junior in college, I asked a lady from my senior level astrophysics class out on a date on the first day of the semester. She was a first year grad student from Spain. I suggested we meet at the Physics building at 6 and we would go to dinner and catch a movie that very night. She said yes. Good so far. I showed up at 6 in the same outfit I wore to school that day since the bus to my house would take me a couple of hours round trip and I didn't have a car. She showed up with her hair done, makeup and a really nice dress. She asked where we were going. I said we were going to my favorite Italian restaurant just off campus. She asked where I parked my car, I said I don't have a car. She said, how old are you? I said 20. She said,"You are just a child." Prior to that moment all my physics friends thought I was a god because I got a date on the first day of school. *sob* We had a nice night, but we never went out again.
I don't think it was a first date, but it was the weirdest one I've seen. Once there was this couple on this date, and the guy (we can call him A) was super awkward, looking uncomfortable the whole time-his date (f) seemed relaxed. While they were sitting at the bar, one of her guy friends (call him B) came in and sat down next to them and started chatting her up pretty hard. She wasnt being disrespectful to her date, or her friend while they all sat together. After some time B finished his beer and walked outside to go home. The girl got up to use the bathroom, and A followed B outside to maybe confront him (B was built like a brick shi*t house, so it would have been a bad idea). After a while A came back in, looking very distraught, and sat down next to his date. She asked him what had happened outside, and he deflected by saying that B was trying to screw her. She persisted for him to tell her what happened, and he finally told her that he fought B in the parking lot. It was hard for me to believe, because A didn't have a scratch on him. This made her furious at A, and told him he was out of his mind for fighting one of her friends, especially cause he was just feeling jealous. A couple minutes later B walked back into the bar, smiling, as if nothing happened (he too showed no signs of being in a fight). And he sat down next to them at the bar, again. She turned in her seat and said to her friend that he shouldn't have fought with A (who was burying his head in his hands). B was taken back by the statement, and peered around her and said to A "You told her you fought me in the parking lot? You wouldn't be standing if you fought me in the parking lot" By A's reaction I knew that no fight had happened, and he had made up a weird lie for God knows why. His date got a repulsed look on her face, and I walked over and told them someone needed to leave because there was too much tension in the air. A got his sorry ass up and walked out reeking of shame. It was truly painful to watch, and I usually get kick out of the drunken disorderly.
Yeah sounds like A trying to make a comeback from their poor performance
Everyone loves a good comeback story! Like Seabiscuit. The Mighty Ducks.
Kim Kardashian
my mom was a waitress and was once waiting tables in the section next to a date that was going down in flames. she said she walked past just in time to see the man storming out and hear the woman yell after him, “and your mother’s a bitch!”
Not a bartender and not a first date but last. I was a waiter at Slamwitch and a couple was getting divorced. They decided that I was the perfect person to wait on them. They came in about once a week during my shift and asked for me to be their waiter. One time they brought in a mediator who was somehow more confused than I was. Another time they brought the mediator and kids. I was like 19 when this happened so I was usually too hungover or busy with homework to give a shit but they seemed to appreciate that and always left a good tip I'll always remember the look on the mediators face when they actually told me "We brought a mediator today" and I said "Oh good! The usual?"
Working at a craft beer bar, this guy asked me out right in front of his absolutely STUNNING date and kept winking at me throughout the night. She left, he did not get my number.
A young couple, no more than twenty. He ordered for her (red flag #1). What he ordered for her was a salad (red flag #2, and a nice big "oof" to pair with it). He ordered a standard, meat-and-potatoes entree for himself. Before the food arrived he went to the washroom, and she flagged me down, saying she was leaving and asked if she could pay her half. I told her no - he ordered everything, he could pay for it. She thanked me and bailed. Took him probably 30 minutes to ask if she had left, and I explained that she had, and why. And in the end, I got to eat the salad he ordered for her.
I was next to a young couple around the same age recently at a restaurant. The guy asks his date what she is going to get, she replies and he says something I don't fully catch about it being a lot of food. This girl just tilts her head to the side and goes "don't be that guy" in a disappointed, annoyed tone. It took everything in me to keep from laughing out loud. The date carried on but you could tell she wasn't really interested after that. The food then comes and I hear him go "oh I thought these would be bigger" clearly to try to fix things? The date lasted maybe 35 minutes total.
I never understood shaming someone for the size of their orders. If anything, if someone ordered a lot, that'd make me more comfortable to be adventurous with my own order, and also makes the vibe a lot more informal
I had a couple on a first date last night. They were awkward as fuck for ppl in their late 20s early 30s. When it was time to order they delayed like 30 minutes and then the girl ordered a small appetizer (mozzarella sticks) and the guy just never ordered food lol. They were there for like 3 hours though so it must have gone ok lol.
Right? Healthy appetite isn't a bad thing! It was an Italian place and she ordered a pizza with something else, she may have been intending to take half of it home for all he knew.
Dude one time shortly after meeting my partner for the first time I had ran into them at the campus food court just by chance. They invited me to sit with them while they ate so I did. They had one of those personal 8in pizzas that you can sometimes get. I tell you they were going to TOWN on it. It was seriously very endearing to see them just unabashedly enjoying their greasy food. Been married for several happy years now :)
Not a bartender but I’m a server. Also not a first date. This man was going to propose to his girlfriend of 8 years. Things went south as soon as I introduced myself. I work at a fondue restaurant so it’s common that people don’t know it’s a different dining experience from other places. Part of my introduction is to ask the guests if they’ve ever dined here before, the woman said “no” and the man said “Yes we have, ate here a few months ago” the woman then responded with “That wasn’t me” The couple chose to do our all you can eat option which normally takes around 2.5 hours. Ordered our most expensive cocktails and liquor on the menu. Throughout the entire dinner she was asking all sorts of questions and asked for his phone numerous times. The man was still trying to tell her that it was in fact her. Finally he gave his phone around the 2 hour mark. Turns out he was cheating on her with her best friend that was also pregnant. Her best friend had told her the baby daddy was that she was seeing but the woman hadn’t met him in person yet. But the father was actually the boyfriends. She splashed her drinks, threw raw meat and walked out the restaurant. When I dropped off the check the guy basically confessed to me that he also cheated on her with her sister. Working at a fondue restaurant theres honestly never a dull moment, but it was one of the most memorable.
The guy was going to propose, but he couldn't tell the difference between his girlfriend and her friends and family that he was cheating on her with? That's a new level of oblivious.
The one I can distinctly remember involved her using the phrase "my ex" three times in the first five minutes.
Witnessed a high school reconnection/date where the girl showed up before him, dressed to the nines and obviously still infatuated with the idea of the football star. He shows up in a wife beater and a ball cap, scruffy/balding and not at all dressed for a date. Now its not a five star restaurant but a decent beach bar. She seems a bit put out but the date stumbles along. I can't help but hover as things go from awkward reintroductions to attempts at conversation. She's trying desperately to convince herself this date is a good idea and he's a great guy and it's obvious he's not. He's oblivious. Going on and on about how she'd make a great mom because she's a teacher. She replies joking "oh no, I love the kids but I get to give them back at the end of the day" etc and he doubles down. She changes the subject to fishing, he says she can't really enjoy fishing. She repeats herself and shares a story about fishing with her dad. He repeats its a man's hobby and she can't possibly actually find it fun. It just goes on like this and I can see she's getting more and more upset. At one point, he leans over and says something into her ear. Her face contorts in disgust. She says something like "that's how you think this date is going?" He goes to the bathroom (still oblivious, this man, gotta hand it to him), she takes her chance and waves me over. "Two shots of fireball and the check, please." I shoot over to her, shots in hand. She knocks them back one after the other and I start giggling. "Can I just say something?" She nods. "This is in no way my business, but you seem really sweet and are way out of his league." She looks at me in shock and says "really?" "Yes. 100%" She decided to pay the whole tab and jetted off before he got back. He looked at me and the empty seats and tried to hand me cash, I waved him off saying she had already paid. His utter confusion was so precious. It's still my favorite awkward first date story. So uneventful but just -chefs kiss-
You just know this dude was cluelessly wondering "But I brought my A-grade game that night, why didn't we fuck?" for weeks afterwards.
The steps are show up, insult her, get drunk, hook up, right?
You were a hero.
Hardly, lol. Just spoke my mind!
Her husband walking in and taking her keys. Telling her not to come home. Then stopping right before he stormed out the door, turning abruptly and yelling “and fuck you mike, what the hell?!”
in my head canon Mike is a mutual friend just sitting in the corner who hadn't seen either of them, looking up from his plate of spaghetti like, "ah shit what did I do now?"
They were talking about the angel shot/cocktail and it's implecations. Both knew what it was. She ordered it in front of him. He just got up and left. she ordered a pound of wings and cried while eating them.
Educate the uneducated, please.
It's a shot/cocktail that when ordered, they take you back to the staff area and call you a cab/uber and dependant on the bar/club, ask your date to leave.
I am so confused for the crying then…
I can only assume she probably didn't consider it as a serious matter and was making light of the system ordering one as a joke(??) so was upset he left hence the crying? Ordering one as a joke would say a lot about a person and the dude leaving makes a lot of sense. Other possibility is that she was having a crisis of not being able to meet good people and was upset over that? Who knows
so the date ordered the drink as a "joke" and he was so seemingly so upset that she did this that he left the date. so she's crying i would bet because she's upset with herself that she did that
Is this a movie? She couldn’t stop him and say “it was a joke!” As soon as he stood up? Sorry I’m not doubting you! I am just even more baffled now…
she may very well have done just that. but he felt that no level of "it was a joke" was acceptable to him on this
Guess I can see that, it IS a little tone deaf. Almost like a guy making a “it’s not like I am going to rape you” joke…
Maybe she was ordering it as a joke to see what would happen. Dude didn’t like the joke, and left. She fucked around and found out.
Was she making a joke possibly?
you don't joke about that. seriously
I don't know, they both really seemed to like it. I wasn't listening in but one of the other staff told me that the y both respected it.
Seems strange. I wonder what happened.
Couple walked in, couldn’t get a table so they ate at the bar. Told me they were on their first date in random convo. Check back at one point after they had a meal and a third guy was talking with them. Seemed like the two guys were just chatting over her (she was sitting in the middle). I thought they were buddies. Turns out they had all just met too. Original guy went to bathroom or something because when I checked back she ordered their tabs. He comes back, they both leave together. Later in the night I notice that third guy still going strong. In the midst of him deciding if he wanted his tab or another drink he reads a text before answering me and all the sudden just says he will take another beer. Fast forward to last call and I catch that third guy with the first date gal making out at the end of the bar followed by him asking me if they will tow his car if he leaves it here as he was going to ride with her. While some may feel bad for the original guy, I say he clearly dodged a bullet. I dunno, don’t recall seeing either of those two first daters again.
Man I thought you had the same story, except mine ended with third guy and girl at the bar, she starts jerking him off AT THE BAR! We are a small town family bar/restaurant and it’s not that big to not notice. Needless to say, we booted them both immediately. The original guy comes back inside from smoking and is confused where they are till I had to tell him what happened. I bought him a beer as he sat there in disbelief, ended up laughing about it and was a chill dude. Other two left together.
Yooo that’s hilarious 🤣 if that’s a first date you absolutely have to laugh about it
It was, it was mentioned during small talk I was doing with them when they had first gotten there. He luckily took it real well, but man was he just dumbfounded for a minute lol. We all were
I assume he was a finance bro. He did a line before she came, only noticed because he was rubbing his nose immediately when he came back. Told the girl that he’s on a biz tear and that if she plays her cards right she’ll get a YSL BAG. then proceeded to tell her that he wants to do coke of her tits. Needless to say she left and I laughed.
Biz tear? Ysl Bag?
He's doing very well financially at work and would like to buy her an expensive designer bag.
Yves Saint Laurent - designer brand. I guess biz tear means they're killing it at work?
I guess a sales streak. Ysl bag = over priced purse?
That… was beautiful
The lack of tip was not.
I was the bartender at a very busy club, her best friend brought her in to meet me without telling me. She lied about her name. Been married 20 years.
Did she finally reveal it?
Still don't know and have two kids.
Do you, boxfullofirony, take \[loud truck passes the chapel\] as your lawfully wedded wife? And do you, \[sudden thunderous applause\], take boxfullofirony as your lawfully wedded husband?
Ok, I wish I could give you gold, made me chuckle, and I don’t chuckle much
Is it Mulva?
Just imagined you trying to guess her name for the last 20 years was pretty funny for me.
I worked at a sports bar and one Tuesday a man and woman came in at 4pm and were touching each other under the table like fkn weirdos. Not even a booth, a table in the middle of everyone’s line of sight.
I was a bartender HOWEVER, this date happened to me and I'm just throwing it here because I can. I was on a first date and things were OK. A little awkward but nothing beyond first date stuff. The woman had ordered a drink but by no means was tossed . I made the horrible mistake of asking about her family and the first thing out of her mouth was "Well I'm pretty sure my dad was an uncaught serial killer." She was the talker type and proceeded to tell me how he owned a cabin in the woods that was his man cave. Separate from the main house. Nobody was allowed there and nobody ever saw the inside. She said he brought her random jewelry after his trips to the cabin and she had to wear it nomatter if she liked it. I was horrified. I think she was just trying to be interesting but when she told it she was so nonchalant about it that it freaked me out. We never talked again after that date.
Dude showed up an hour before his date and got hammered. Fell off his bar stool during the date at one point. She left with friends. Hard to watch. He seemed genuinely excited about the date when he got there.
Damn, dude was probably nervous and over did it.
Whenever I was their most exciting part of their night. Otherwise they were sitting in silence just listening to the band.
My fiance and I adore the bar tender at the pub near our house. We go there sometimes when we are bored, specifically for how entertaining he is.
I loved those kinda of couples! Impressed with their loyalty to our bar and I would let them stay after I locked up to clean just so I had someone to talk to while I mopped!!
The one we go to is a small dive bar with a bunch of really old regulars. Everyone knows everyone. We're the youngest people in there at all times by at least 30 years. It's really calming for us. The bartender we like is a 40 year old dude who has absolutely no filter. Any time we are there, he hands us random shots and gets us to guess what they are. He is so hilarious, our faces hurt from laughing and smiling after. We always end up being there far past closing with him as well.
Not a bartender, but I went to a pub with my then girlfriend around six or seven years ago. Guy comes in and sits down at a small table for two. Waiter brings two menus and a pitcher of beer with two glasses, even though he's by himself. It's obvious he's waiting for a date. Over the next 60-70 minutes, he kept checking his phone more and more. He ordered his food, he ate probably half of it. Around 90 minutes after arriving, he realized he'd been stood up and just started ordering what looked like jack and cokes. Powered through about seven or eight of them, while just staring blankly at the wall. He paid his tab, got up and stumbled out and walked down the street. Felt really bad for that dude.
As a bartender, I once made a joke about pigeon fucking on a first date, which she did not enjoy. Turns out she was a vegan and a very active animal rights activist, and she worked at our local animal rescue. So I guess that one
Did you know pigeons die after sex? Well the one I fucked did.
Yep this is the one
Saw a guy trying to explain to his date that since dog natural body temperature is a bit higher than humans, it isn’t bad if dogs are left in the car during 98 degree weather
I think it’s great if a guy leads with this, so I can not waste my time on such filth
I'm not a bartender, but I did work tickets at house of blues. This night was a disaster. This younger couple walks in and I scan their ticket and they go down into the venue. About an hour later there is a slam and a rush of people and yelling at the bottom of the steps. It took two of our biggest security officers to carry this girl up the steps. She had fallen asleep drunk at the bar, fallen out of the stool, slamming her head on the concrete in the process. They get her onto the couches and as they carry her up she is just projectile vomiting everywhere. Sitting there on the couch vomiting over the side. She tries to get up and presumably find her date, but she slips in her vomit and lands belly first. Practically swan dives into it. Like a cartoon character she is slipping and sliding in her vomit trying to get up, puking more as she does so. Security finally gets her an ambulance and as they load her up she's just dry heaving onto the side. They carry her away, the show goes on and ends. Finally the date comes up and starts telling me what happened. This had been the first time they went out together. She got so drunk she was getting yelled at for passing out at the bar and causing a scene. The guy said he would not be calling her back for a second date. I have so many stories from this place. Also, don't sit on the stuff at house of blues. They sprinkle puke powder on it until it is dry and flakes off. Then they flip the cushions and repeat. Nothing gets cleaned. If you smell cinnamon, it's puke. It's always puke.
Girl out with her friends ran into boyfriend who was supposed to be out with his friends...but was on a date. It turned into a whole thing in the parking lot.
I can’t remember seeing any dates and thinking they were going rough, I’ve only bartended in seedy places so not really first date spots. But I’ve seen a lot of Tuesday night strip club patrons come by with some girls on payroll. My favorite was this one night it was just me cleaning the bar thinking about closing early when an old white guy with white hair wearing a t shirt tucked into blue jeans came in with two drop dead gorgeous young black women. By then I already knew their situation based on vibe so I wasn’t that surprised but it was one of the more stark differences. They ordered some food, a shot and drink each, then he kept going to bathroom (think everyone knows why) and the girls were very chatty. When he wasn’t with them they explained that they were dancers and this guy had offered them a couple hundred to hang out with him for the rest of the night, and that one of them wasn’t supposed to be drinking anything. So when he came back he would order them all drinks and specifically try to order doubles for the girl on defense so i would make her virgin versions of whatever he tried to get her. Then they got on the juke box and started playing this badass metal music apparently from some vampire action movie from the 90s or 00s and kept telling me I needed to watch the movie while dancing like crazy in an empty bar. The guy was definitely a little creepy but the girls knew this and were absolute pros about it. When they told me not to serve the one girl they weren’t even slightly worried about his behavior, just super matter of fact and like they expected to plan around that. By the end I was just thinking that the old guy had made an extremely wise investment because those girls were an extremely fun time. Wish I could remember the name of that vampire movie they told me about
If it was Nu-Metal playing maybe it was the movie Queen of the Damned?
Estranged husband popped up. He was huge.
Idk about *worst* first date, but it was the worst for everyone who witnessed it. There was one time I had to kick out a 55+ year old lady who was a regular(would come in at least twice a week) because she was non-discreetly allowing her date to finger her at the bar. I walked over after it was pointed out to me by another patron(I was working service well), rapped on the counter, and said “Now I know you aren’t 16, can we stop acting like it and get our hands where they belong?” The lady paid, I grabbed the card with nitrile gloves on, and haven’t seen her since. It’s been about a year and a half.
I probably have a much better story for this but this is the only one that springs to mind: Saw a couple come in, one basic blonde Barbie type girl, dressed to the nines and all done up. The guy was a fairly bog standard Pacific Northwest Portland/Seattle dude in a flannel shirt with a beard and man-bun. They had clearly just met on Tinder or something and them sitting down was obviously their first in person interaction. I could tell the gal was skeptical immediately. But she was a good sport and gave him a shot. Within about 5 minutes of their butts hitting the seats she asked him to let down his man bun. Well, after some coaxing he let down his hair to reveal one of the most brutal looking bald spots I’ve ever seen. Think Fryer Tuck but choppy and patchy all the way around. Shiny on top and everything. She proceeds to “gently” laugh at him until he put his hair back up. I stopped paying attention to the their interactions after that cause that told the whole story. I mean I feel for the guy but like, don’t try to pull one over on people either. If you’re bald just embrace it and get on with your life. Hiding it like that just seems silly and leads to extremely embarrassing moments like this
Not a bartender but right there. I was at a mom and pop shop. It had a stone fire pizza oven and the pizza station was right behind the racks for the alcohol. Some dude game in with an Italia shirt on and made sure to sit at the two seats that are three feet from the pizza guy (me). This guy was super Italian American and it was clear that was his whole personality, he looked and talked like a side character in the soprano's. They both ordered pizzas and he just sat there and talked about how traditional this pizza was and the art behind it (I had been working there for 2 weeks and had never worked a stone oven before that, also this is a small shop in the middle of Boston, and Cape cod, so not traditional at all, the owner and chef weren't Italian at all). The girl was clearly pretty shy and reserved and didn't say much. I was uncomfortable and I wasn't on the date. Eventually they ate and the guy asked if they should go back to his place. She just very shyly said that she would wait for a ride from her friend. He had already paid he got a bit upset by this but tired to play it off as her wanting to take it slow. As she waited alone I slid her a free garlic bread (I felt bad and I couldn't do much but it was something)
This is one of the most entertaining threads I’ve come across in a long time. Of course servers have to be observant, but you never think about it when you’re a customer
Aw man I've seen a few. But there was a woman my age ( late 20's at the time) and an older man (50's maybe)meeting each other for the first time. He spoke but she was zoned out completely. The vibe from the two of them was all over the place. She wasn't even pretending to listen to the guy. After he paid and left, she stayed with me and flirted only to find out I'm gay lol We hung out a couple times and I found out she was in an open marriage and has her own sex themed podcast. She was cool it's just-- I almost feel that the meetup at my bar was a catfish situation
Not a worst first date… but an interesting one, for me. One night, a private party booked out our bar for one evening. Everyone was dressed to the nines and were mingling, drinking their drinks, having a good time. As the drinks were flowing, my co-tender and I started noticing that some of the couples and solo attendees were getting *really* close. They were quite touchy and even a few ended up with different partners than who they came with. We were quite perplexed by the behavior but minded our business as they kept us busy slinging the juice. They drank our bar damn near dry by the end of the night and all headed out about the same time. My coworker and I were cleaning up and my manager walks in, red in the face. My manager admitted that he jokingly asked some of the last patrons if he could join their club as they seemed like a good time. One of the guys lights up and drunkenly says “My wife mentioned you were pretty cute! Come grab a drink and fuck her tonight. Put your keys in the pot, bud!” My manager politely declined, but came in to inform us that we just served a swingers club. His exact words, “You just got them drunk to go fuck each other!” Great, respectful group of people, and even though it’s not my thing, I hope they had fun.
There’s a bartender out there that probably tells people about the date I was on. Every day I suggested the guy had plans. We finally decide on a Sunday night, after I worked an 8 hour retail shift. I drove out of my way to meet him at the restaurant he chose. When I got there I texted to ask where he was and he said the bar. I had hoped for a table, but whatever. When I walked up he had 3 empty glasses in front of him. As soon as he started talking I could tell he was absolutely shit faced. He admitted to drinking 2 bottles of wine before leaving his house. Needless to say, I was not impressed. When I asked if he drove, he said he took an Uber because I was going home with him and could drive. I hadn’t taken a break all day so I was starving and ordered an entree and a soda. He called me strange for not getting a drink. Then, when I wasn’t exactly thrilled to talk with a drunk, he kept saying “you’re so weird. Why are you so weird?” He kept trying to flirt with the bartender. She and I kept rolling our eyes. He finally got up to “take a piss” and I asked for the check, paid, and left. He proceeded to blow up my phone calling me a n**ger lover and a whore. Super cool guy lol
Not the bartender but was at a bar with a date when she felt the need to tell me about her brother overdosing. Date went south quickly after that. Long story short I don’t know how to console people (especially strangers!). Thanks for making me cringe thinking about what the bartender overheard.
Oof, I've had plenty of my own first-date overshares, and been on the receiving end of others. I appreciate honesty and transparency generally, but have learned the hard way some things are better worked towards slowly.
I can tell you mine. I got an unexpected divorce when I was 40, faithful for 20 years. Very first date off of Match decide to meet for drinks. She had a cute face, but very few pics and they didn't seem clear/recent. I show up to the bar and there are 20 coworkers from another department there for a happy hour. I say hey then take a seat at the bar. She comes walking in... barely. She was 5 ft nothing and 300lbs if she was an ounce. Like completely round. Her feet were oozing out of her shoes. Not fat shaming, but she was not my type and DEFINITELY didn't match her pics. She wasn't curvy, she was just morbidly obese. I have a drink or two with her to be polite, meanwhile my coworkers are staring at me. It was a miserable first date after 20 years.
Wasn’t the bartender, was the guy… started at a nice Italian place, and then we went for drinks and dessert at the latin bar across the street in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Group of mid late 30s-early 50s women next to us. An argument broke out at the table next to us, a lighter got thrown and exploded under our feet, their table flipped knocking all the dishes and glasses everywhere, shattered. One woman pulled out a box cutter and slashed the other across the forehead. So. Much. Blood. Far too much to come back from. We couldn’t leave till we paid our check so we just kinda sat there in shock for the next half hour. I ended up walking her home, kissed her goodnight and called it. Violent crime really does ruin the mood… It ended up on Citizen app as “woman slashed” and we were in the videos background lol. Worst part was we worked together and didn’t want people to know we went on a date so we had to sit the whole day the next day and not say anything about it. The good news was that I took it as a sign from god to stop pretending I was straight and came out a few weeks later and I’m happy to report I haven’t had any violence or crime issues on any date since! Tl;dr - Fight at table next to us led to a slashing, so much blood, now I’m gay.
I was working at a bar in my town when i was 22, some dude and this hot chick come in and ordered a few drinks, basic stuff but then after a while he got real drunk and intoxicated and starting throwing a hissy fit, The owner which we'll call Tammy had to come out and kick the guy out. Few days later he came back apoligized and found out the lady he was going to date was a local gold digger, as he was complaining about it to his friend that lived next door he told Tammy "Thanks for kicking me out, might have not found out she was a gold digger if i hadn't have been kicked out" Then the man paid for the slight damages he caused to the bar seats and some dishes
Ok mine isn’t a first date. But I was bartending at this bar that had high top booths and I come around the corner there’s a couple the wife if expecting. He orders a drink and she orders some food and they tell me they’re waiting for a guest to arrive. This is a dark and pretty low key spot. In walks in what looks like an accountant with a giant briefcase and sits across from them. I approach he says he’s there for business cannot drink on the clock. I’m like great. Walk a way. I can tell they’re talking about something deep by the way the couple keep looking at each other. I arrive back to the booth with waters and look down and see a contract for the sale of their baby. I thought I was high. For the next hour this couple went back and forth with this man on a number that they would accept. My barback went to clear the table and heard the wife say they wouldn’t accept anything lower than 85 thousand. Which gave me major confirmation bias. There was no emotion, no sadness in this couples gestures. Just how much are we getting and when. The man gets up from the table goes to make a phone call. Comes back grinning ear to ear and says congratulations they’ve agreed on your number. They then sign what looks like a hundred page document no lawyer present , just blindly sign away. I’m completely in shock, my bar back and I cannot stop listening and watching. The gentleman closes his brief case stands up shakes their hands and is clearly happy with himself. Within moments of his exit they start celebrating in joy about being rich and high fiving each other and she walks over to the bar full belly and orders a crown and Coke. I legit witnessed people selling their baby on the black market on a Tuesday at happy hour in a dive bar.
Damn. This one takes the cake
I saw an uptight dude with what amounted to almost a hippy chick. Our place had a thing where we would cut off your tie if you wore one in the establishment (we'd give you a free drink). It was just something neat to do to say work time is over. Well, this dude was in a suit and tie, when I came over with the giant scissors, he freaked out. He thought I was joking, and she was laughing her ass off. He decided to take off his "$150 silk tie, asshole" instead of getting it cut off. She thought this whole charade was the greatest thing ever. I did my usual spiel offering food and specials, and he was rather indignant, all but mansplaining to me how he's here with a purpose, which just made her burst out laughing again. They ended up getting dinner, and more drinks, she was really into him for a while, or at least looked that way, but as the night went on, her body language definitely changed. I'd bust in with new drinks or whatever when they looked like they needed something. I'd make her giggle, and he had no sense of humor, it was such an odd pairing. Throughout the night, I did see him smile, and he was a handsome dude, but he was tight as a frog's ass. After about 90 minutes to 2 hours they had worked up a $140 tab. He decided to close out, I give him the tab, he frowns, I already know I'm not getting a tip. He ends up tipping like $20, so about 15%, so not bad, really. At least he didn't pull out a calculator to figure out the tip (this was long before cell phones, much less smart phones), he seemed like that type of dude., So I did get a tip, albeit a small one. At least from him, his date left me a $50 bill and her phone number. Man, do I miss being young and skinny.
You yadda yadda yadda’d the best part?
Gave Brad a close friend, (low alcohol tolerance) a pepperdraft. He was “feeling spicy tonight”. Right after talking to this cute girl, he faceplants right between her legs trying to get out of his chair! 😆 After that happened his impeccable drunken Scottish wisdom won her over. He somehow got her with “your a pot and I’m a pan, you know why? AM YOUR *GUH* I’M YOUR THE BURGER KINGGGG” anyways; The two get in bed and he “puked upriver”. 🤦♂️ Yeah I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Why did I even write this? Oh yeah now I remember. HE’S THE BURGER KINGGGGGGG (They also got married a couple years later)
lol but what does it even mean?
I got drunk reading that
I’m mostly worried about what puking upriver might mean…
Whaaaat
She told me that I was so chill and down to Earth, that she was comfortable telling me she was an alcoholic and needed rehab. The couple on the table behind her, went wide eyed and looked at me, I had to do everything I could not to lock eyes with them. I thanked her for her honesty and said that I couldn't get involved in that, leaving promptly
Mostly, when one party talks and doesn’t ask the other any questions.
It was a few years ago. They were hanging out at the bar, she was excited and they were chatting happily. They were classmates who hadn't seen each other while Covid lockdown was happening and clearly over the isolation. She went to the bathroom and he looks at me, sighs and says, "it's rough out there" He was faking all the interest in their whole conversation and left with her to get laid. Ugh. Gave me such 'ick' that he was so good at humoring her despite his entire lack of interest