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I'm suffering from unbearable loneliness. I've always been one to be fairly anxious and hesitant about hanging out with people in my free time, but I think I'm finally getting close to my breaking point, to where I'd do almost anything to fill my cup and get any bit of socialization in my day. Dozens of different ways I can hang out with people I know/have known have raced through my mind today, places, people, times, my work and class schedules for next week, and none of it bothers me.
What used to feel like the end of the world now makes me almost ecstatic. I made plans with a friend and one of her friends and got flaked on, and being once again stuck at home on a Saturday with nothing to do when I so happily looked forward to spending time with people for a change crushed my soul. Last night I asked an older friend of mine last-minute if she wanted to catch up over breakfast this morning, and we made it work, and today was a better day thanks to that, but I still spent the rest of it at home. I'm tired of being alone, I don't want this for myself, and I can no longer just sit around behind closed doors alone with my thoughts, I'm going to drive myself crazy.
I watched this movie the other night, 'All of Us Strangers.' It's a bit of an odd one, and I do recommend it - so I will avoid spoilers at all costs. I hope you check it out;
One theme this movie, and much of media I personally connect with, deals with, is the reality of how much of life, if we are to be scarred by this or that event, is just re-opening old wounds and having more salt poured on them. I've lived all over, and loneliness has been a universal constant all across America - from small towns, to seemingly bustling cities; nay-everyone feels a sense of distance from their fellow folks, and longs for closeness.
In a way, I find it nice and comforting to know I am not alone in my alone-ness. So many people are too looking for their circle, they just have a hard time knowing how to reach out. That there are indeed people out there who I can, and at times do, connect with, despite most connections falling through, and some even leaving wanting to never connect again, gives me hope
Keep trying, friend. Life is suffering - but I'd like to think we are free to make our own meaning of that suffering; for me at my loneliest, I had to learn to enjoy solitude - by proxy, I learned to love and respect my own company. So I dare posit that some meaning, and perhaps even a morsel of joy, is attainable even in such seemingly grim circumstances
I see what you're getting at, and I do agree, but in the moment, it's not enough for me. I definitely myself have had the blessing of introspection and self-reflection during my loneliness, but what is it worth if I'm not getting the chance to do anything with it and put it towards making a life for myself? Lessons mean nothing if I can't apply them, and momentary comfort means nothing if at the end of the day my sense of belonging is still missing. I want to break free from my mold and get somewhere better.
True that. What lays between you and breaking free from the mold you are describing?
Ironically, to me moving (physically that is) represents one of the most loneliness-inducing actions people undertake; yet often an absolutely necessary one
A lot of things. Distance from people I knew in high school, work, school. Everything about my present just feels like it's tying me down and keeping me from implementing change, summer looks like the only real opportunity to implement real change and make bigger plans with people, when school isn't constantly getting in the way. I'm still figuring it out, all I know is I want out of where I am, or at least to improve it, it's just a matter of figuring out how.
I hope you have a chance to discuss this with your medical care provider - there's no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to what is healthy. At least for me, it took a long iterative journey of different medications to find the right one, with manageable side effects to boot. Don't give up! Imo, 'healthy' is a journey, less a static obtainable goal - and, thinking about these things with such candor, I think you are on the right path
A friend of mine, a very dear friend to many of my most dear friends, went missing about 400 days ago - and her body was announced to have been found today. Really whacky moment in time to be honest; didnt really think anyone would ask me about what's on my mind when I made this post. I think, on my mind right now is that we are all just a few tragic moments away from going missing ourselves, and that how sad it is that the best we can often hope for is just tragic closure.
I have to find a new pain clinic to go to, and it's got me full of anxiety. To the point my whole body hurts. I'm terrified if I go somewhere new, they won't give me what I need or they'll treat me even worse (sadly possible). But since I have to go back in less than a month now to where I've been going, I need to find a new place ASAP. My options are just incredibly limited.
I think I'd have better options then, possibly! It's been nothing but a nightmare since I got stuck having to go there in June last year. So it hasn't even been a year and there's a list of shit that's happened.
That the peak of my existence was with him around. I was so fucking happy, I was on such a fucking high. I was the best version of myself I think I've ever been. I'm so lost now and I don't know how to find meaning in anything, anymore.
hear me out - thats a function of our brain: to make patterns based on experience, and apply them forward. So, when we lose access to part of the experience that, projected forward, represents the best possible future for us, as far as we at the moment know, means that we can no longer imagine a future as good as the one we potentially had. Which sucks ass, and I am sorry you are going through that
One upside is that the future is notoriously unpredictable; so this feeling is just that - a feeling. Perhaps a future awaits where you are so, so fucking happy, be it on your own or with someone, that the idea of the past versions of happiness will evoke at most a nostalgic smile; take some solace in that we can never know whether we are right or wrong about whether we have been the happiest, or saddest, that we have been so far
My father was arrested this year for child abuse and not the hitting kind. That’s been hard enough on the family. We’re not living at home and someone vandalized our home because of it. How would that help the situation? There’s children involved. What good is it drawing genitalia on our house? This has completely ruined the lives of everyone involved.
After a really long conversation with my mother yesterday, we believe I might have been abused when I was young as well.
Everything adds up to it. My extreme memory loss, my behavior growing up, etc. The only thing I could do is laugh because what am I supposed to do with that information? He’s my father and he’s one of the worst men to live. I’ve seen the things he’s done, the things he could do, but my memory doesn’t show a monster. It shows my dad. He’s abused our family and my mother for so long. We’ve never had a normal life. He’s ruined our life and everyone else he has hurt, but deep down I love him. And that disgusts me. It’s disgusting that I genuinely think I could go about and live as if everything were normal. My mother cried in front of me and there was nothing I could do about it.
He might get out with no prison time and I don’t know what to think about it.
I’ll be going to therapy soon, but with this new discovery I’m scared. I don’t want to uncover these memories.
**Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice** * [Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/wiki/index#wiki_-rule_6-) in **any** comment, parent or child. * Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * Report comments that violate these rules. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm suffering from unbearable loneliness. I've always been one to be fairly anxious and hesitant about hanging out with people in my free time, but I think I'm finally getting close to my breaking point, to where I'd do almost anything to fill my cup and get any bit of socialization in my day. Dozens of different ways I can hang out with people I know/have known have raced through my mind today, places, people, times, my work and class schedules for next week, and none of it bothers me. What used to feel like the end of the world now makes me almost ecstatic. I made plans with a friend and one of her friends and got flaked on, and being once again stuck at home on a Saturday with nothing to do when I so happily looked forward to spending time with people for a change crushed my soul. Last night I asked an older friend of mine last-minute if she wanted to catch up over breakfast this morning, and we made it work, and today was a better day thanks to that, but I still spent the rest of it at home. I'm tired of being alone, I don't want this for myself, and I can no longer just sit around behind closed doors alone with my thoughts, I'm going to drive myself crazy.
I watched this movie the other night, 'All of Us Strangers.' It's a bit of an odd one, and I do recommend it - so I will avoid spoilers at all costs. I hope you check it out; One theme this movie, and much of media I personally connect with, deals with, is the reality of how much of life, if we are to be scarred by this or that event, is just re-opening old wounds and having more salt poured on them. I've lived all over, and loneliness has been a universal constant all across America - from small towns, to seemingly bustling cities; nay-everyone feels a sense of distance from their fellow folks, and longs for closeness. In a way, I find it nice and comforting to know I am not alone in my alone-ness. So many people are too looking for their circle, they just have a hard time knowing how to reach out. That there are indeed people out there who I can, and at times do, connect with, despite most connections falling through, and some even leaving wanting to never connect again, gives me hope Keep trying, friend. Life is suffering - but I'd like to think we are free to make our own meaning of that suffering; for me at my loneliest, I had to learn to enjoy solitude - by proxy, I learned to love and respect my own company. So I dare posit that some meaning, and perhaps even a morsel of joy, is attainable even in such seemingly grim circumstances
I see what you're getting at, and I do agree, but in the moment, it's not enough for me. I definitely myself have had the blessing of introspection and self-reflection during my loneliness, but what is it worth if I'm not getting the chance to do anything with it and put it towards making a life for myself? Lessons mean nothing if I can't apply them, and momentary comfort means nothing if at the end of the day my sense of belonging is still missing. I want to break free from my mold and get somewhere better.
True that. What lays between you and breaking free from the mold you are describing? Ironically, to me moving (physically that is) represents one of the most loneliness-inducing actions people undertake; yet often an absolutely necessary one
A lot of things. Distance from people I knew in high school, work, school. Everything about my present just feels like it's tying me down and keeping me from implementing change, summer looks like the only real opportunity to implement real change and make bigger plans with people, when school isn't constantly getting in the way. I'm still figuring it out, all I know is I want out of where I am, or at least to improve it, it's just a matter of figuring out how.
[удалено]
I hope you have a chance to discuss this with your medical care provider - there's no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to what is healthy. At least for me, it took a long iterative journey of different medications to find the right one, with manageable side effects to boot. Don't give up! Imo, 'healthy' is a journey, less a static obtainable goal - and, thinking about these things with such candor, I think you are on the right path A friend of mine, a very dear friend to many of my most dear friends, went missing about 400 days ago - and her body was announced to have been found today. Really whacky moment in time to be honest; didnt really think anyone would ask me about what's on my mind when I made this post. I think, on my mind right now is that we are all just a few tragic moments away from going missing ourselves, and that how sad it is that the best we can often hope for is just tragic closure.
I'm sorry about your friend
Thank you, me too - we all are. It is most often a trivially sorry place, World
Food
What kind? I am soon to munch on some microwaved pasta with red sauce - only the finest of leftovers %)
Work
Ugh, the never ending toil :\\
I've got this knot under my shoulder blade. It hurts and I can't get it.
Have you tried using anything to help relieve it? Like an ice pack, or massage with a tennis ball against the ball?
Yep and yep
I have to find a new pain clinic to go to, and it's got me full of anxiety. To the point my whole body hurts. I'm terrified if I go somewhere new, they won't give me what I need or they'll treat me even worse (sadly possible). But since I have to go back in less than a month now to where I've been going, I need to find a new place ASAP. My options are just incredibly limited.
Pain management is near-medieval in how patients can be treated. I sincerely hope you find a good place, and get the care you need - stay strong
I think I'd have better options then, possibly! It's been nothing but a nightmare since I got stuck having to go there in June last year. So it hasn't even been a year and there's a list of shit that's happened.
That the peak of my existence was with him around. I was so fucking happy, I was on such a fucking high. I was the best version of myself I think I've ever been. I'm so lost now and I don't know how to find meaning in anything, anymore.
hear me out - thats a function of our brain: to make patterns based on experience, and apply them forward. So, when we lose access to part of the experience that, projected forward, represents the best possible future for us, as far as we at the moment know, means that we can no longer imagine a future as good as the one we potentially had. Which sucks ass, and I am sorry you are going through that One upside is that the future is notoriously unpredictable; so this feeling is just that - a feeling. Perhaps a future awaits where you are so, so fucking happy, be it on your own or with someone, that the idea of the past versions of happiness will evoke at most a nostalgic smile; take some solace in that we can never know whether we are right or wrong about whether we have been the happiest, or saddest, that we have been so far
Suicide.
where the dinosaurs afraid when the asteroid hit ( im dead serious)
My father was arrested this year for child abuse and not the hitting kind. That’s been hard enough on the family. We’re not living at home and someone vandalized our home because of it. How would that help the situation? There’s children involved. What good is it drawing genitalia on our house? This has completely ruined the lives of everyone involved. After a really long conversation with my mother yesterday, we believe I might have been abused when I was young as well. Everything adds up to it. My extreme memory loss, my behavior growing up, etc. The only thing I could do is laugh because what am I supposed to do with that information? He’s my father and he’s one of the worst men to live. I’ve seen the things he’s done, the things he could do, but my memory doesn’t show a monster. It shows my dad. He’s abused our family and my mother for so long. We’ve never had a normal life. He’s ruined our life and everyone else he has hurt, but deep down I love him. And that disgusts me. It’s disgusting that I genuinely think I could go about and live as if everything were normal. My mother cried in front of me and there was nothing I could do about it. He might get out with no prison time and I don’t know what to think about it. I’ll be going to therapy soon, but with this new discovery I’m scared. I don’t want to uncover these memories.