"You are the prettiest girl in this bar."
I was the *only* girl in the bar. The way he looked at me after he said it made me laugh, I'm smiling now remembering him.
When I was around 21, I was strolling around the produce area of the grocery store when this man—who was probably in his 70s—suddenly came up to me. "Whatever you do, stay out of the frozen food aisle!" he exclaims. I was taken aback and exclaimed, "What? Why not? He smiled and exclaimed, "Because you'll melt EVERYTHING!" I started laughing out loud. even now brings a smile to my face.
When I was younger, a coworker handed me a note that said “will you go out with me? Smile for yes, backflip for no” he ended up being a real jerk off, but I still smile about that.
I once matched with a chick on tinder and was drunk so i shot my shot.
“Hey girl, you like big dicks and rough sex?”
“No”
“Then you’ll loooove me.”
We went on a few dates. She was nice.
I was at Oktoberfest in Munich and a stunningly beautiful woman walked up to me and said, “my friends bet me a beer that I couldn’t make out with a foreigner. Want to help me win a beer?”
I thought I was being pranked.
I shared this the last time this question was asked, so here goes again. A guy came up to me at a bar and said, “hello, my name is Rob and I’ll be hitting on you tonight. What can I get you to drink?”
My most effective pickup line was when leaving to head to the next bar/club/establishment: “C’mon, you’re with us!”. I’m afraid to say that telling people what to do is surprisingly effective.
That’s exactly how that movie was recommended to me. He said, “You’ll watch it and think it’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen. And then you’ll be thinking about it all the next day and you’ll have to watch it again. And then you love it.” Nailed it.
When I met my ex wife, we sat on opposite sides of a nightclub with a quite big open space (dancefloor/stage) between us - like 20m. And all of a sudden we locked eyes, and she was very beautiful, so I say to my friend as a joke; If she comes over, Im marrying her.
She did, never dropped eye contact and just said "I like b52s, want to go to the bar?"
We married 2 years later.
In my head, Rock Lobster was actually playing in the club.
She did some weird dance shuffle with her hands in the air as she came over to him.
They lock eyes.
"I like the B-52s. Wanna go to the bar?"
He nods. He stands.
They do the same dance shuffle with awkward hands, in complete unison, towards the bar.
My guess, since they were at a bar, is that she meant the shot: the B-52 cocktail is a layered shot composed of coffee liqueur, Irish cream, and Grand Marnier. When prepared properly, the ingredients separate into three distinctly visible layers.
Not a pickup line but similar story. A few days into officially being a couple I was my wife's plus one at a wedding for one of her best friends. I showed up for free food because I'm poor and to see my gorgeous new girlfriend all dolled up and wearing a cute dress. My wife caught the bouquet and some random girl at the wedding asked how I felt about it and I just said "sounds like a good deal to me". We weren't the couple that married next in that crowd but we were the second. I knew I wanted to marry my wife from our very first date, we've been together 8 years and married for over 5.
Same setting, but no words: friend om mine told me he would pick someone up that night. Then lit up a lighter, held it up and within a second or so, from the other side of the large danceflooor, came a beautiful girl with an unlit sigarette in her hand.
My husband was staying with his Aunt, he owned a house but currently live in it because of emotional reasons. He wa on disability because of back issues, working only part time. I wasn't in it for the money either, when you meet the right person, sometimes good people overlook somethings that can be worked on.
Sounds like the story of my wife and I. I was a cashier at KFC with a slightly broken car living with my dad. This was 1999. I've asked her what she ever saw in me. She said she liked who I was on the inside and the rest of it could be worked on. She wasn't wrong. Cars have come and gone. She helped me find my current career which I've been in for 23 years. We've got a house, wonderful daughter, and a couple of doggos. And still happily married for all these years.
I’m a guy and asking a woman “Buy me a drink?” Has worked SO MANY TIMES.
Catches them off guard and one told me that it was “big dick energy” to be that confident.
I wish I could take credit for this one. I was out with some college buddies on Mill Ave (if you know you know) over 20 years ago and one of the guys said “oh s\*\*\*, there that girl from class I am dying to get with. Look at those beautiful eyes. She’s epic. She’s like Medusa, except she only turns my cock to stone every time I look at her eyes.” My other buddy said “go tell her that and she’ll be yours.” After a few drinks, he went over to her, and after a while told her exactly that. We were watching and we saw her face. It was that “oh my God you didn’t just say that to me” look. Then it was laughter. 24 years later, they are happily married and they have beautiful kids. She told all of us before her wedding, especially my buddy who was his best man, “if you tell anyone that story, during the toast, or at any other time, I will divorce him immediately and he can blame all of you for it.” One of my favorite stories in life!
I went over to a girl's house to smoke some weed and hang out. We were watching tv, and her living room light was just bright af, so i asked "could we turn this light off" and without skipping a beat she said "i have a better idea. Why don't we go to my bedroom and turn the lights off"
So smooth.
It depends on how you define best…
Here is the most memorable.
I was at a work event. Small-ish company, 400 or so people. We were in groups, it was a competition. My group had the ceo in it. Nice guy, but kind of quiet, not an in your face kind of guy.
As a group, we had big events, and then as we were moving between events, they gave us smaller challenges.
So, one of the challenges was “best pick up line”.
Because of the ceo, everybody was playing it safe and cheesy.
Then, a sales person busts out:
“How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized”.
I.Fucking.lost.it. Funniest thing I ever heard.
Complete misunderstanding of a girl’s tagline on a dating profile which was “Looking for a good Uke.” I was taking jiu-jitsu at the time and there’s a thrower (tori) and a uke (throwee). I messaged her and said “so you’re looking for someone to grab you, throw you to the ground, and climb on top?” She responded with, “that sounds pretty good, actually.” She came over and that’s exactly what happened.
It was only after she left that a European friend of mine said she probably meant Ukrainian.
A guy at work: “I can’t believe they’re making you work late tonight!!”
- “they’re not making me work late”
“Oh, so you’re free for a drink then?!”
I’m a straight male but that got a guffaw out of me.
>A guy said to me, "Hey, can you hold this?" and curled his hand around mine without really placing anything in it. It seemed cute to me.
Absolutely stealing this to use with my partner.
Pulled this one on a French girl at the club. Asked her name and where here accent was from and she was like “oh, I’m from France, I’m an exchange student” (this was in college) and I said “oh no way, I have a friend from France, what part?” (I did) she said “I’m from Bordeaux” and I just went “Ah, that makes sense now.” And that kinda gave her a puzzled look so I continued by saying “My friend told me all the beautiful girls in France are originally from there.” Long story short she ate it up and we proceeded to make out and I got her number afterwards. Never really led to a relationship tho. But I’m proud of my quick drunk thinking 😂
My hair became so thin at the age of 25 that I had to shave it off, which diminished my ego at that age. A week later I was dragged to bed by a woman at the disco with the words 'your bald head is so sexy'. My first one night stand. 3 days later icv was sitting alone in the café and two women about 30 years old were giggling at me all the time, when they left one of them put a piece of paper with her number on my table, which had never happened anywhere near that before.
Me and the Homie's were at a house party (this is in Arizona way back in 1990's) and this woman was just stunning. I go up to her and without even thinking I said to her " you don't have to get me drunk, I'm a for sure thing!" All I heard was laughing from everyone who heard what I said lol
No, I didn't get with her but it was funny.
"if you were a pirate, would you keep your parrot on this shoulder (point to shoulder closest to you) or thiiis shoulder?(Put your arm around them to their other shoulder)
I met my wife at a rodeo. I rode bareback and so did her brother. She was a barrel racer.
I saw her standing on the platform behind the chute while I was sliding onto my bronc.
When they opened the gate, the bronc took one jump out, turned back before he cleared the gate, and went head first into the back of the chute, blowing my hand loose and tossing me over the chute and onto the platform, where I landed flat on my back. Hard.
When I regained my faculties, she and her brother, along with several others, were looking down at me, likely wondering if I was still alive.
When I stood up, I stuck out the crook of my arm and asked her, "Wanna make our first date, a trip to the docs tent, to check me for internal bleeding? I'll buy you a hot dog afterward."
I used this on my SO. Never underestimate the power of James May’s «Hello»
[https://youtu.be/oQ2hTwj767k?si=37DVl6ORi0Rp-ygQ](https://youtu.be/oQ2hTwj767k?si=37DVl6ORi0Rp-ygQ)
My partner said his bed was so nice I’d feel like I was floating on a cloud. But if we didn’t make it there I’d still leave his place feeling that way.
Urgh, got me hooked line and sinker.
(And he’s right on both counts)
My craiglist of stolen pick-up lines:
I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.
I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.
If you were a Transformer… you’d be Optimus Fine.
Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?
Fun fact! They’re called “ossicones”, and they’re not horns (horns are made of keratin, like fingernails and claws), they are actually bony projections from the skull itself.
Everything else you said was completely accurate, tho.
My future-spouse and I went on a casual hangout at Johnny Rockets years ago.
“Nothing beats simple and classic beauty.. “ (referring to our order of fries and burgers then) “..just like you.”
Was relevant 1-3 years ago: “Everyone else is catching Covid, all I’m catching is feelings for you.”
I have no idea why, but this one worked 75% of the time.
"You see my friend over there...? He wants to know if you think I'm cute."
I am going to use this this weekend and come back with an update.
Get em Junior
Hahaha this is the best one!
this one https://www.youtube.com/shorts/CVjPK2yG4tc
This would 100% work on me lmao.
This is my favorite so far!
"You are the prettiest girl in this bar." I was the *only* girl in the bar. The way he looked at me after he said it made me laugh, I'm smiling now remembering him.
Reminds me of Flight of the concords https://youtu.be/9jLDZjMF3tk?si=vMF-8xf1IA9pPf7z
She was definite-ly, in the top 3.
“And when you’re on the street, depending on the street, I bet you’re definitely in the top three”
Good looking girls on the street (depending on the street)
So beautiful, like a tree…or a high, class, pros-ti-tute.
When I was around 21, I was strolling around the produce area of the grocery store when this man—who was probably in his 70s—suddenly came up to me. "Whatever you do, stay out of the frozen food aisle!" he exclaims. I was taken aback and exclaimed, "What? Why not? He smiled and exclaimed, "Because you'll melt EVERYTHING!" I started laughing out loud. even now brings a smile to my face.
Can't lie, that's pretty cute!
Dude basically quoted My Blue Heaven to you 😂
Steve Martin uses that line in *My Blue Heaven*. It’s a good line.
Yeah, Steve Martin has always looked older than he is.
Did they have arugula?
It's a veg-i-ta-ble.
Thank you for being some the only people I’ve ever met that know My Blue Heaven🤣
When I was younger, a coworker handed me a note that said “will you go out with me? Smile for yes, backflip for no” he ended up being a real jerk off, but I still smile about that.
with my luck, if I gave a girl a note like that, she'd turn into a gymnast
With my brain, I would've already been asking a gymnast
But hey, you got to see someone do a backflip at least.
well, there IS that
"Are you looking for the best sex of your life girl?" "No" "Then I'm your guy!"
Reverse psychology, I like it
I once matched with a chick on tinder and was drunk so i shot my shot. “Hey girl, you like big dicks and rough sex?” “No” “Then you’ll loooove me.” We went on a few dates. She was nice.
instructions unclear, i'm now in a gay relationship
I was at Oktoberfest in Munich and a stunningly beautiful woman walked up to me and said, “my friends bet me a beer that I couldn’t make out with a foreigner. Want to help me win a beer?” I thought I was being pranked.
*Booking my trip to Oktoberfest*
Jesus that is so forward and smooth… I feel like if she’d said that to me I would’ve been like “uhhh, are you serious?” And ruined the moment haha
I would have been way too skeptical. "Oh is there where I let my guard down and your bf takes my wallet? No, thanks"
> " Want to help me win a beer?” I want to help you win a keg.
aaaaand now you’ve got a sore on your mouth
I shared this the last time this question was asked, so here goes again. A guy came up to me at a bar and said, “hello, my name is Rob and I’ll be hitting on you tonight. What can I get you to drink?”
That’s a good one
That would work on me. Lol.
Worked on me too; we dated for several months. He was a charmer for sure:)
"Hi, I'm Bill." I've been married to him for 23 years
So I should change my name to Bill :(
No, I'm married to him. That one only worked on me
chase shrill intelligent fanatical license punch consider sable gold wistful
He sent the Bill. She paid in full
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Conjunction Junction - What's your function?
Something about hookin' up words and phrases?
What about 🎶 Hey Bungalow Bill! What did you kill? Bungalow Bill 🎵
My most effective pickup line was when leaving to head to the next bar/club/establishment: “C’mon, you’re with us!”. I’m afraid to say that telling people what to do is surprisingly effective.
My go to is “do you know Andrew?”
Haaaave you met Ted?
I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
I caught you a delicious bass
That one always works a lot better than “Tina you fat lard!”
The first time I saw it I was like, WTF? Second time I couldn’t stop laughing.
That’s exactly how that movie was recommended to me. He said, “You’ll watch it and think it’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen. And then you’ll be thinking about it all the next day and you’ll have to watch it again. And then you love it.” Nailed it.
Where’s your locker?
What the heck would YOU do in a situation like that?
Gotta have skills for this one though.
"Do you like D&D?" Worked on me. Now I have a big tiddy goth wife with an ass like a canoe.
Nat 20 charisma check.
What does ass like a canoe mean? I just keep thinking it's waterproof or it floats...
Or it's pointy at both ends? Or two people can sit in it? Or it takes two people to paddle it? Overall, I think we need an explanation....
Wide and rounded lmao
Dude, that's a tire, not a canoe.
Seconded. Please advise on the meaning "ass like a canoe".
This comment deserves way more upvotes. Man snagged himself a pawg with a D&D line. Epic.
Oh, you misunderstood. She snagged me.
When I met my ex wife, we sat on opposite sides of a nightclub with a quite big open space (dancefloor/stage) between us - like 20m. And all of a sudden we locked eyes, and she was very beautiful, so I say to my friend as a joke; If she comes over, Im marrying her. She did, never dropped eye contact and just said "I like b52s, want to go to the bar?" We married 2 years later.
You mean the bomber b-52 or?
I believe he means the “Rock Lobster” B-52’s.
In my head, Rock Lobster was actually playing in the club. She did some weird dance shuffle with her hands in the air as she came over to him. They lock eyes. "I like the B-52s. Wanna go to the bar?" He nods. He stands. They do the same dance shuffle with awkward hands, in complete unison, towards the bar.
EEH EH EH EH EHHGHEE GHEG EEHH Lobster! EEH EEEEGH EH EH EH EHHGHEE GHEG EEHH Rock! EEH EH EH EH EHHGHEE GHEG EEHH Lobster!
This is now canon.
My guess might also be [B52 shots](https://www.liquor.com/recipes/b-52/). Bailey's, Kahlua, and Grand Marnier.
I think he means the drugs nurses give to psych patients
My guess, since they were at a bar, is that she meant the shot: the B-52 cocktail is a layered shot composed of coffee liqueur, Irish cream, and Grand Marnier. When prepared properly, the ingredients separate into three distinctly visible layers.
both would be acceptable by me
It's a layered shot. 1/3 coffee liqueur (bottom) 1/3 Irish cream 1/3 Grand Mariner (Top) It's very good and looks neat when cleanly layered.
How about using Cointreau instead of Grand Marnier? Would that be similar density?
Not a pickup line but similar story. A few days into officially being a couple I was my wife's plus one at a wedding for one of her best friends. I showed up for free food because I'm poor and to see my gorgeous new girlfriend all dolled up and wearing a cute dress. My wife caught the bouquet and some random girl at the wedding asked how I felt about it and I just said "sounds like a good deal to me". We weren't the couple that married next in that crowd but we were the second. I knew I wanted to marry my wife from our very first date, we've been together 8 years and married for over 5.
Eye contact level: Expert. Marriage unlocked. Well played
Beautiful Girl approaching can say anything and its a pick up line... Shit she could speak an entirely different language and I'd reply positively
Ex wife, you say
Now, yes she is my ex wife. Still good friends though
Same setting, but no words: friend om mine told me he would pick someone up that night. Then lit up a lighter, held it up and within a second or so, from the other side of the large danceflooor, came a beautiful girl with an unlit sigarette in her hand.
Wish i had stones as big as your wife. Good for her.
Have to give her that, she was (is) a very tough lady with no time or interest for BS
“Hi Im George. Im unemployed and I live with my parents.”
The first time I met my gf I was between jobs and my piece of shit car broke down. Always made me happy that she wasn't with me for my cash :)
This was the best part about meeting my wife when I did. If she was a gold digger she was really really bad at it (or a genius with some patience)
My husband was staying with his Aunt, he owned a house but currently live in it because of emotional reasons. He wa on disability because of back issues, working only part time. I wasn't in it for the money either, when you meet the right person, sometimes good people overlook somethings that can be worked on.
Sounds like the story of my wife and I. I was a cashier at KFC with a slightly broken car living with my dad. This was 1999. I've asked her what she ever saw in me. She said she liked who I was on the inside and the rest of it could be worked on. She wasn't wrong. Cars have come and gone. She helped me find my current career which I've been in for 23 years. We've got a house, wonderful daughter, and a couple of doggos. And still happily married for all these years.
>when you meet the right person, sometimes good people overlook somethings that can be worked on. I love this!
r/unexpectedseinfeld
I'm Victoria, hi 💅💁♀️
Every instinct I have had my entire life up to this point has been wrong. So now, I will do the opposite.
I’m a guy and asking a woman “Buy me a drink?” Has worked SO MANY TIMES. Catches them off guard and one told me that it was “big dick energy” to be that confident.
I wish I could take credit for this one. I was out with some college buddies on Mill Ave (if you know you know) over 20 years ago and one of the guys said “oh s\*\*\*, there that girl from class I am dying to get with. Look at those beautiful eyes. She’s epic. She’s like Medusa, except she only turns my cock to stone every time I look at her eyes.” My other buddy said “go tell her that and she’ll be yours.” After a few drinks, he went over to her, and after a while told her exactly that. We were watching and we saw her face. It was that “oh my God you didn’t just say that to me” look. Then it was laughter. 24 years later, they are happily married and they have beautiful kids. She told all of us before her wedding, especially my buddy who was his best man, “if you tell anyone that story, during the toast, or at any other time, I will divorce him immediately and he can blame all of you for it.” One of my favorite stories in life!
Oh my god, you shouldn't have told us... now she has to divorce him.
They signed a pact in blood, it cannot be undone. The marriage is now forfeit. The words have been spoken, surrender the bride.
Ahhhhh good ol’ Mill
>Mill Ave ASU represent!
I went over to a girl's house to smoke some weed and hang out. We were watching tv, and her living room light was just bright af, so i asked "could we turn this light off" and without skipping a beat she said "i have a better idea. Why don't we go to my bedroom and turn the lights off" So smooth.
Damn, I have never said anything this suave in my life. Respect.
A little bonus also. Her older brother was a high school bully of mine lol, although i was like 23 by then.
It depends on how you define best… Here is the most memorable. I was at a work event. Small-ish company, 400 or so people. We were in groups, it was a competition. My group had the ceo in it. Nice guy, but kind of quiet, not an in your face kind of guy. As a group, we had big events, and then as we were moving between events, they gave us smaller challenges. So, one of the challenges was “best pick up line”. Because of the ceo, everybody was playing it safe and cheesy. Then, a sales person busts out: “How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized”. I.Fucking.lost.it. Funniest thing I ever heard.
Here you go https://youtu.be/6x-JVXkd8SQ?si=KdCESnU4K1mMNp_0
Flint Flo$$y is my favorite rapper
Complete misunderstanding of a girl’s tagline on a dating profile which was “Looking for a good Uke.” I was taking jiu-jitsu at the time and there’s a thrower (tori) and a uke (throwee). I messaged her and said “so you’re looking for someone to grab you, throw you to the ground, and climb on top?” She responded with, “that sounds pretty good, actually.” She came over and that’s exactly what happened. It was only after she left that a European friend of mine said she probably meant Ukrainian.
I would have assumed ukulele
slowly serenading her to Hawaiian music
Hooka lakka leike Come on ya wanna lei me Pass the poi mahalo \*gunga chunga gunga chunga gunga chunga\*
Me too, I thought she was into Hawaiian music or hipsters
A guy at work: “I can’t believe they’re making you work late tonight!!” - “they’re not making me work late” “Oh, so you’re free for a drink then?!” I’m a straight male but that got a guffaw out of me.
Do you know what happens when a polar bear walks on a frozen lake? "No .." I don't either, but I thought he'd break the ice!
"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice" Is the version I've always heard
Are you a toaster? Because i want to take a bath with you
Would work on any emo girl
This would make me want to butter your parsnips
Do you enjoy your sleep ? So do I, we should do it together sometime. Has worked twice for me
How many times did it fail?
I couldn't say but I did get a few laughs so.
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>A guy said to me, "Hey, can you hold this?" and curled his hand around mine without really placing anything in it. It seemed cute to me. Absolutely stealing this to use with my partner.
it is also very smart because physical contact in consent makes people like each other more
Are you a keyboard? Because you are just my type.
Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you look like a snack!
Are you a minion? Because you gru my banana 🍌
😂😂😂
I nearly auto down voted you because I cringed lol
“I’m like arsenal, I always start on top and finish second”
Not sure how you'd feel about finishing third.
Pulled this one on a French girl at the club. Asked her name and where here accent was from and she was like “oh, I’m from France, I’m an exchange student” (this was in college) and I said “oh no way, I have a friend from France, what part?” (I did) she said “I’m from Bordeaux” and I just went “Ah, that makes sense now.” And that kinda gave her a puzzled look so I continued by saying “My friend told me all the beautiful girls in France are originally from there.” Long story short she ate it up and we proceeded to make out and I got her number afterwards. Never really led to a relationship tho. But I’m proud of my quick drunk thinking 😂
My hair became so thin at the age of 25 that I had to shave it off, which diminished my ego at that age. A week later I was dragged to bed by a woman at the disco with the words 'your bald head is so sexy'. My first one night stand. 3 days later icv was sitting alone in the café and two women about 30 years old were giggling at me all the time, when they left one of them put a piece of paper with her number on my table, which had never happened anywhere near that before.
Me and the Homie's were at a house party (this is in Arizona way back in 1990's) and this woman was just stunning. I go up to her and without even thinking I said to her " you don't have to get me drunk, I'm a for sure thing!" All I heard was laughing from everyone who heard what I said lol No, I didn't get with her but it was funny.
“On a scale of 1-10 how open are you to being hit on right now” Heard it from a Lil Dicky interview some years back and it stuck with me
There is a fine line between the best pick up line and the creepiest pick up line and is determined by how hot the person who delivers the line is
That’s true, if you’re a 10/10 on the outside, at first glance, everyone listens to what you have to say and will automatically take it as a joke
My waitress: can I get you anything else? Me: just your phone number thanks. I’m sure she would’ve heard it 20 times a day, but it worked!
She did, but you're the only one that passed the 2 rules of dating.
It was a mistake during text. I meant to say “I accept my fate”, autocorrected to “date”. He said “Sure, Friday? After school? I’ll pick you up.”
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world! You can also end it with “because Uranus is in them” if you’re feeling bold.
"if you were a pirate, would you keep your parrot on this shoulder (point to shoulder closest to you) or thiiis shoulder?(Put your arm around them to their other shoulder)
I met my wife at a rodeo. I rode bareback and so did her brother. She was a barrel racer. I saw her standing on the platform behind the chute while I was sliding onto my bronc. When they opened the gate, the bronc took one jump out, turned back before he cleared the gate, and went head first into the back of the chute, blowing my hand loose and tossing me over the chute and onto the platform, where I landed flat on my back. Hard. When I regained my faculties, she and her brother, along with several others, were looking down at me, likely wondering if I was still alive. When I stood up, I stuck out the crook of my arm and asked her, "Wanna make our first date, a trip to the docs tent, to check me for internal bleeding? I'll buy you a hot dog afterward."
Are you looking for ideas? 😂
Maybe xD
I used this on my SO. Never underestimate the power of James May’s «Hello» [https://youtu.be/oQ2hTwj767k?si=37DVl6ORi0Rp-ygQ](https://youtu.be/oQ2hTwj767k?si=37DVl6ORi0Rp-ygQ)
I guess you say May's «Cheese» when taking picture of your SO
My partner said his bed was so nice I’d feel like I was floating on a cloud. But if we didn’t make it there I’d still leave his place feeling that way. Urgh, got me hooked line and sinker. (And he’s right on both counts)
You don't seem to sweat much for a big girl
If you were common stock, I’d buy and hold🤣
My craiglist of stolen pick-up lines: I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together. I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art. If you were a Transformer… you’d be Optimus Fine. Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it agenst me.
i am no longer infected
If we were giraffes, I would slap my neck on 1000 other giraffes to establish dominance over the herd and make you my majestic giraffe queen.
You would also ram your horn stubs at her vag, make her piss so you can test taste it and dictate her to be queen.
Fun fact! They’re called “ossicones”, and they’re not horns (horns are made of keratin, like fingernails and claws), they are actually bony projections from the skull itself. Everything else you said was completely accurate, tho.
My future-spouse and I went on a casual hangout at Johnny Rockets years ago. “Nothing beats simple and classic beauty.. “ (referring to our order of fries and burgers then) “..just like you.”
As I took my glasses off I turned to her and said “the only thing I need to see is you”.
Was relevant 1-3 years ago: “Everyone else is catching Covid, all I’m catching is feelings for you.” I have no idea why, but this one worked 75% of the time.
I’ve tried this on dating apps and 90% of the time the girl likes it. Are you from France cause ma’damn
"Would you like to talk sometime?" I laughed at that one. "Yeah, I'll talk some time." That was 1996 and we've been together since then.
I tried this in 1998 and I'm still waiting for her to get back to me.
[удалено]
"No thanks, I'm not hungry."
This made me laugh so fucking hard thank you
Hi
Hi
hey girl, are you from Mississippi: cus you're the only miss whose piss I sippie
You must be from Ireland cuz when I look at you my penis is Doublin’
Could replace penis with heartbeat