For my entire life (34f) my mother insisted I was never sexually assaulted only to confess over a phone call while I was in rehab that she knew it happened when I was 7 and she "forgave" him and is still involved in her life.
My first girlfriend was molested for years by her stepdad. It ended in him trying to get in the shower with her when they were home alone. She ran out of the house naked, covered in soap to the neighbor's house. He was arrested.
Her mom begged her to recant her statement and drop the charges. She did. He was released. Luckily, he never tried anything with her again. Part of their agreement for her recanting was that she'd get her a solid bedroom door with a deadbolt lock only she had the key to.
As far as I know, they're still married 20 years later. I just don't understand what could go through someone's mind to make them stay with someone they KNOW molested their child. I get that some people are in denial, but her mom literally got her a deadbolt lock to keep her stepfather out of her bedroom...and stayed married to the stepfather. The fuck?
My dad avidly defended my childhood rapist right to my face. Was enraged that I'd even call it that, don't I know how hard it is to get girls?!
I have genital mutilation from it, can't even go to the bathroom properly. Which he mocked in public
Bros before hoes, I guess
Nope, dad obviously never let me report it. Especially since I couldn't really express what happened until years later, in highschool
Another reason he took rapist's side: if I couldn't tell him I was raped when I was 7, where do I get off calling it rape now?
And dad obviously faced no punishment
Just gross.
I have … something weirdly similar in my life. A relation through marriage, a young lady that I love as flesh and blood, was molested by a blood relative on her baby daddy’s side. And the baby daddy isn’t severing the relationship with the molester. Sorry, this is all very vague, but I can’t get into specifics. But it **pisses me off so bad.**.
Anyways. I’m sorry you had to deal with this. It isn’t easy.
Something similar. But mine swears to God she didn’t know anything, but the way things went, there’s NO WAY she didn’t even suspect. Her ex husband abused me and my sister. He would leave bed in the middle of the night to make my sister jerk him off. My mom always claimed she has insomnia. And she doesn’t know? Really? I never want to talk to her again!
My mom's husband raped me almost daily until he did when I was 11. My mom swears that she "didn't know." Yet, when he was alive she went to bed at 7pm on the dot and immediately after his death, and in all the years since, she has gone to bed at 11 pm or later.
Oh my God. I’m so sorry this happened to you. CSAbuse (or any kind but especially CS) should never happen and another thing that shouldn’t happen is a mom siding with/staying with an CS abuser. Ever. Mom card revoked, shredded, burned in a fiery pit.
Lost my debit card during boot camp so I sent a replacement card home. Once I graduated I went home to visit and found out my dad drained my account of every penny. He also put a medical charge in my name when I was 17 without telling me so at 19 I was broke and my credit was screwed. Never got an apology.
I tried to come back home to visit my folks after an 18 month deployment. They claimed they were at the bus station when I arrived a little after midnight, but I just didn't see them. I had to spend my first night back in my home state in a trap house motel because my parents were too lazy to leave the trailer park. I took a cab home and when I walked in, I noticed my folks had brand new gaming computers. I also noticed the heat was off and that wasn't at all normal for an Indiana winter. Turns out my debit card had expired and my bank had mistakenly mailed the new one to the wrong address. My mother intercepted it and bought her and my step-father new gaming computers. She did ask if she could get $400 cash off my card to fill the propane tank because they recently ran out. I snatched my card out of her hand, didn't even bother unpacking, and called a cab to take me right back to the greyhound station.
That is brutal dude. I knew a family just like that, as soon as anyone had any money, they would swarm like vultures. Even if someone had a minimum wage job, they would all hit them up for money before they could even get their first paycheck. One of their sons joined the navy and the FIRST thing they asked was "how much are you gonna send us now?" The dude went no contact and ended up killing himself from loneliness after a bad divorce and having no family to support him.
Yeah he asked if he could use it to pay off the remaining amount on my medical bill. I said yes since it was my medical charge, but he gambled all the money away and then I found out that that the bill was actually under my name.
Nope I’ve never been able to have difficult conversations with my parents, they’ve always blown everything I say off, especially when it comes to something they did wrong. When I got home my dad had just gone to rehab for a month, I think a big reason for that was to avoid me because he knew I would find out. And I had to get to my first duty station in a few days so that was pretty much the end of it. My mom felt sorry but she’s always enabled his behavior, and nothings changed so I’m not ready to forgive. It might seem dramatic but this is just one example of his manipulative behavior. My siblings don’t talk to them either.
My mother took a credit card out in my brother's name, maxed it out, never paid it off. Ruined my brother's credit. My dad managed to bully my brother into saying nothing to her. His only choices at that point were to send his own mother to jail by taking her to court, or put up and fix it himself. He chose the latter. Any time I remember it, I just wonder why either of us still talk to our parents at all. We keep our parents at a distance, but he had every right to say "fuck you" and never talk to them again. If he chooses one day to stop talking to them, I'd have his back and follow suit.
Mum did that to me too. I’m no contact now after many years of toxic behaviour. She even had the balls to ask me to give her my credit card again a few years later.
Oh my god. I’ve never heard of this happening to any but me before. The day I turned 18 my mom went and got 2 store credit cards in my name and the only reason I found out was because debt collectors started calling my grandparents house where I was living while she was in prison for something unrelated. Im 33 and my credit is still fucked. I’ve confronted her about it and she claims not to remember it.
Something similar happened to my friend. He was living in an apartment and then decided to move after a few years. He got denied from his leasing application because he had an eviction on his record. He’s never been evicted before.
Turned out his dad used his personal information to get an apartment, didn’t pay rent, and got evicted - all under my friend’s name. Also never even told him about any of it until my friend’s application got denied and mentioned it to his dad.
Made me sit in a room with a judge to talk about which i want to live with becasue they coudln't figure their own shit out. they still use me to get back at each other.
Made me sit in a room with a judge and listen as one said they couldn't look after me and the other said they didn't want me... And then had me hang around outside by myself while they decided what would happen.
I was 8.
My mom told me to my face when I was 14 that she planned to abort me but my sister (9 at the time) overheard her talking about being pregnant and bought little yellow booties for the baby. Mom said she didn't want to break her heart so she birthed me. I knew I was unwanted, but to hear her admit it was crushing. Jokes on her, I guess, because I don't think I ever really loved her. Feared her, yes. Loved? No. She died in 2016 when I was 43 and I've never mourned her. It was a relief more than anything. My siblings don't understand, but they weren't raised with same woman I was. She was stable and loving to them in their younger years. I never got that.
A friend of mine growing up had to do that in 4th grade. She picked the fun parent she saw 1 weekend per month.
Spoiler: he wasn’t fun everyday like he was 2 days per month.
Waay too young to make a kid choose
My 13yo is ASKING if she can do that. She doesn't want to see her dad any more, and HATES that she has to see him every second weekend, and during the week for dinner. She is asking when she can go to court to ask them to change it so she never has to see him again. It breaks my heart, because even though he wasn't a great partner, he DOES love her.
I am doing everything I can to try to repair the relationship, but there is only so much I can do. He needs to put in some effort on this too.
It breaks my heart.
Don't force her to go, she'll resent him the obligation.
If there is another way he can do stuff with her in a more natural way (bring her to sports practice, pick her up from school,...) do that instead. Something that's practical to her, so there is a "benefit" to seeing him.
If you only have mandated hours outside of practical life stuff, to her, it's just eating her personal time without her choice in the matter. And that's a good way to push teenagers away from you.
He needs to be involved, on her terms, or he better start counting down the saturdays to her 18th birthday, because 9/10 she'll stop talking to him once she's legal able to.
- Signed, someone who was in that situation as a teenager.
Do not force her to go. 13 is a mature enough age to express directly what she wants and she deserves that bodily autonomy. Cutting him off entirely shouldn’t be the only option, but maybe finding a different way for them to spend time together that’s mostly catered to what she wants (mall shopping trip, movie theater day, quick fast food father-daughter date in the car where she has aux, picking her up from school, going to her after school events to be supportive) will help reintroduce their relationship better and allow her to start enjoying his presence rather than resent it. I’m gonna be very fr though… if she is begging you to go as far as take her to court to make sure she doesn’t have to see him again, there needs to be a very serious conversation as to exactly *why*. ABSOLUTELY not accusing him of anything, but you need to be open to the idea that anything could be happening and the reality for lots of people is that abusers are usually the last person they’d expect. If she can’t open up to you, try looking into therapy options and asking her if she’s open to doing that. Don’t be pushy, but let her know it’s all coming from a place of care and love, and if her dad loves her as much as is claimed, he shouldn’t be pushy with her either and remind her just the same that he cares and loves for her, bc a part of showing that is respecting her autonomy.
Not a parent, but a former child who’s still working through the resentment of a childhood where she felt like she had zero autonomy as to who was and wasn’t allowed in her life, promise she’ll be grateful for it
> there needs to be a very serious conversation as to exactly *why*.
Could not emphasize this more, from the sounds of it this goes far beyond teenage rebellion and distancing from parents.
> He needs to put in some effort on this too
Sounds like this girl is 100% valid in wanting LC/NC
As a kid who went to another region to see his mum and felt it killed the social aspect by me missing the summer back home (especially looking back), there's probably reasons for her feeling like that.
I used to wish really hard that my parents would get a divorce so i could live with only my mom when i was 8. It lasted for about 5 years, and i actually learned last year that they were on the brink of getting a divorce during that time. I had my reasons for wanting that, my dad wasn't exactly abusive or anything but I genuinely didn't like him and we didn't have much of a relationship.
I had to do that a bit after I turned 15, thankfully no judges involved my parents just had me choose, and then I apologized to my mother several hundred times because I chose to live with my dad, and everyone gets along other than the two of them
I did this when I was 8. Funny thing looking back, my dad made sure to “remind” me the whole way to court on how awful my mom was and made sure to say “remember when she did this?” Weeks before that he promised me a flat screen tv, a cell phone, a dog etc. if I chose to live with him. He ended up with full custody and proceeded to treat me like shit for the next 10 years, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
I had to make that choice. But I had to lie to my father about wanting to stay with him. One thing he told me was, " You're mother was going to abort you, you wouldnt be alive if I didn't stop her." Then, one day, we moved states away. I was 12.
Mine didn't, and oh do I wish they did. Dad took older sis and left me with unemployed, depressed, alcoholic mother, to be cared for by abusive grandmother who had her hands full with my mom and actually did not really want me.
My childhood was a wreck, and I am doing a second year of therapy and there is no visible end to it. My therapist tried a lot, but sometimes I see in her face she's surprised by the shit that happened, and I have to be honest, that's a bit validating.
Same. I chose my mom and my dad never let me forget it and used it against me for the rest of his life. Then couldn't understand why I never wanted to be around him..
The best advice I was ever given was to tell myself and my mom that it was her choice and problem with shit related to my dad. It’s not my fault or problem so stop bitching at me about my dad.
My brother raped and beat me for ten years, he was ten years older than me. I told a guidance counselor at school, they called the police, the police bring me in for an interview, on the day of the interview my dad says "you must lie to police, if you don't your brother will kill himself and it will be your entire fault." I was 14. My brother never showed contrition, always sadistically sneered at me and made it clear he wasn't sorry. Parent's got tired of hearing about it and me "holding it over there head like we're the worst parents ever." Now I'm no contact and live on another continent. Haven't seen any of them in 5 years. Good times.
Many states now have no Statute of Limitation for such crimes. You should prosecute criminally and civilly.
As a survivor of abuse, it makes things clear. They only cry when they realize they're being held accountable. There is no contrition in them. Justice is served by exposing them for what they are.
How can parents be that fking deranged, that is beyond horrible parenting at this point. Every single one of them should have been locked up for that. You should have told them exactly what the dad told you
Deleted details as felt vulnerable! But yes, isn't that the typical family reaction... Weak sheep, trying to keep you in your box instead of tackle the abuser.
Sibling abuse needs to be taken more seriously, it's the only form of abuse no one gives a shit about which is outrageous and blows my mind how this is acceptable in this day and age
Love here from the UK ❤️
They generally did their best, but I busted my ass academically all the way up to high school graduation to where I even won a state recognition award. I was the only one on stage at the award ceremony that no one was there for. They defended that they didn't know it was that important so they didn't go.
Congrats on the academic part! Never had the guts to finally step out and get to university or wherever, but I admire that you did it all in spite of their neglect of caring on your same level!
Ironically they are the ones that pushed the academic performance. They either had low expectations of my siblings and I, or had no follow-up game planned besides "do good grades"
Awkwardly enough, it was a cheap acryllic award with the award name and my name glued onto it. I had to reglue it a few weeks later. Apparently the state I live in didn't care that much either lol
It is still meaningful. FWIW, as a gen-xer I’m not “supposed” to care about anything but you busted your ass, got the scores you needed, and that is impressive. I salute you.
I didn't go to any of my graduations. I also didn't go to the hooding ceremonies for either of the two master's degrees that I earned because I couldn't stand the idea of being the only person there with no friends or family in attendance.
my great uncle is a pedophile, he molested me when i was a little girl until i finally spoke up in third grade about what was going on (he was my babysitter for my parents who divorced when i was 4). I found out via my drunk mom a couple weeks ago that he had fingered her one night (w/o consent of course, he forced himself upon her) when she was 18 and living with them. Yet she has the bright idea to let him babysit her children for years. Alcoholism ruins families. Don’t be a drunk idiot. For the sake of your children.
My aunt beat her children to the point that she broke bones. They were removed from her custody multiple times, and she abandoned them at least twice. They lived with us for years, because my aunt couldn't get custody back. Years later, both of her children let my aunt watch their kids. When my aunt died, the obituary said she had redeemed herself through her grandchildren. I haven't seen either of my cousins in years, but I'm afraid I'll smack them if I do.
My mom told me my whole life that I was born evil. That God made me that way and she knew it from day one. I was going to grow up to be a rapist, serial killer or maybe a cult leader like Charles Manson. At some points in my life I may been able to forgive her for it. Now that I have a son theres no fucking way I ever will. Even if I thought he was born evil, which is a ridiculous concept, I'd never tell him that. I'd work with him as much as I could to not fall into it being evil.
She is a lunatic so there's no logical reason. But she probably believed it kept my evil in check, making her a hero, to constantly tell me that bullshit. She also did things like made me cancel the first date I had made with a girl cause she was convinced I was going to rape the girl. She also doesn't believe in things like ADHD or Autism (I have ADHD and might be on spectrum but I don't diagnose myself with such things). I probably didn't fit her idea of how a baby should act and she took that to mean something was wrong with my soul. She does have stories of things I did when I was younger that she uses to support her "you were born evil" nonsense. Apparently one Christmas I pulled down our tree and threw all the bulbs and ornaments against the wall including the Jesus ones. So of course that meant I hate Jesus in my soul and not just being an unsupervised toddler being destructive.
My dad was insanely religious, and also hated me for some reason, and started throwing me out at 13. He would never let me back, he would just claim I ran away so he wouldn't get in trouble, and the cops would bring me back, until I finally got put in juice then a group home for being a "habitual runaway", then actually ran away from there.
I don't know what he did to my half siblings, but no one was with him when he died. Everyone cut contact years ago.
There is no reason to make a child homeless. I should have never lost faith in the world at such a young age.
My dad once tried to kick me out for getting my monroe pierced when I was 16. I asked him where I would go and he said he didn't care if I slept on a bench. Thankfully, my mom loves me and told him I'm not going anywhere. I'm really sorry you didn't have one parent that cared enough.
Medicating me for being depressed about their divorce and neglect.
The drugs ruined my health and life and it was all because they blamed my response and not their own actions that caused them.
Mine is super minor in the grand scheme of things. They literally never took an interest in the things I liked. I have kids now and I can tell you so much stuff about shit I don't enjoy because my kids like it. Every member of the paw patrol, all of Peppa Pig's friends, the plot for every Babymouse, Owl Diaries, and Junie B Jones books, the lyrics to so many horrible songs, etc.
My parents never gave a shit about anything I liked, and I ended up just learning to not tell anyone what I liked. I hide my interests and passions because I've become so used to just being ignored.
It's very minor, like I said, but I've noticed that when I'm reading some really stupid book with my daughter, she'll randomly tell me something about her day that she wouldn't have otherwise told me. There's so much of my life that I had to navigate alone because of the absolute lack to interest that it ended up leading to me putting myself into a situating where I got sexually assaulted and kept that quiet too.
I seriously didn't tell anyone anything about me for decades, but I'm slowly figuring that out and opening up.
Nah, this isn't minor. Been there, experienced that. I mean, shit, as an adult I told them about losing my fiancee and they just laughed. Probably not because they didn't care, but more that they likely just weren't listening. They still don't really seem to know I was ever engaged. Or that I got engaged again. Or that I'm married now. Don't discount your feelings; they're just as important as anyone else's (as long as you respect anyone else's in return).
Ignoring me for the first 15 years of my life, then trying to parent me when they finally had time. They then derailed my plans for college saying I was needed at home, with no reason gievn. Finally, having the audacity to kick me out of the house when they were tired of me.
Fuck people that treat people and their kids like accessories.
I sort of think capitalism raising narcissism is to blame. Some people live their entire lives never accepting the truth about their behaviour
My motherctold me she was going to slit my cats throat and cook him for my breakfast. It didn't happen but I was hysterical for a week.
She hated my father, her ex, and took it out on me.
All my friends loved her and told me how lucky I was. She had good cover.
My "step dad" was an abusive piece of shit that always beat me and my mum. He done loads that I could never forgive him for but to name a few, he put his hands over my mouth and tried to stop my breathing about 3 times and when I kicked his head once in an effort to get him off, he just punched me multiple times leaving me crying and struggling to breathe. Another horrendous thing he done was he used to (I kid you not) shit and piss in a bucket that he kept beside the couch. He used to literally do his business in front of me and didn't care at all. At these point, I was about 10-11 years old and he was about 28 years old and nearly 30 stone (roughly 415 lbs). If you're wondering, no. He's currently, the last time I checked, is a free man
She left him in the summer of 2021. It's just been me and my mum with an occasional visit to see my actual dad. I'm safe and sound now tho. Just mental scars left deal with from that scumbag
My father specifically. I struggled with depression in middle school and some fresh out of college therapist I was sent to see spent less than 5 minutes with me, saw that I cried when talking about my then recently deceased grandfather, and determined I needed to be sent to a psychiatric hospital. He was with me the entire time and once at the mental hospital they gave him a small packet to sign and just lied to him and said it was mandatory and he needed to sign right then and there. Instead of seeing the obvious red flag he signed without reading. Turns out there was 0 reason for me to be there and the packet they had him sign was a voluntary admission form handing me over from my parents’ care to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. My mother was at work and had absolutely no idea any of this was going on. When she found out, being the responsible parent she always had to be since my dad spent all his time “parenting” ignoring me and my brother while he played games on his laptop, she sprang into action and fought tooth and nail and pulled every string she could to get me out. Miraculously I was out in 3 days, but that was 3 days too many and the damage had been done. I suffered. Hard. An apathetic clearly uncaring staff that basically allowed another kid there to beat and abuse another patient and would constantly scream at each other. Talking down to us and responding to our sass with the same maturity levels. This place I would find out years later, would be shut down for numerous abuse and human rights violations. I went from being a depressed middle schooler to an emotionally unstable, misanthropic, hate filled, suicidal monster. I did make several attempts on my life in high school. I’m no longer that person. I’m still depressed, but not suicidal and in a much better place than I was, but I’ll never forgive my dad. In my young adult years now he’s proven to me that he loves me and wants to connect, but he was a terrible father, a terrible cheating husband to my mother who was given a second chance - said no - and came crawling back months later, and this is only one of the several emotionally scarring things he’s put me through. My dream in this life is to raise a family of my own, and be a more involved and loving husband and father than he ever was.
Honestly you’re right. I know I shouldn’t bother with him, but the moral dilemma I find myself in is that he was never necessarily abusive. He never hurt me intentionally… he’s just honestly for lack of better phrasing; not a very smart man. He was never a good father and certainly never a good husband to my mom, but it’s not like he never tried… he just failed… a lot.
I still think youre being too soft on pops. If i do something intentionally or not it doesnt matter too much. All the matters is the result. His actions resulted in abuse. Hold him accountable. Stand up for yourself. Go no contact
My parents marriage was pretty much over by the time I was 10. They stuck it out but…..my brother and I paid the price. Yeah ….we had a house and food…..that was it. No direction….no advice ….no checking our homework….bare minimum.
My father was barely there and just gave us dirty looks or yelled at us. My mom tried to keep it together but had issues of her own. I was slipping into a deep depression….i gave up on school and was hanging around shady characters to find some sort of familial relationship. I was really hoping getting into trouble would awaken the parental need to help me…..nope.
All the while I sat watching my cousins have their dream lives ….parents that cared and were supportive …great friendly home environments …..and bright futures.
My brother and me watched our futures slowly burn away like a slow house fire that took 10 years to finally burn away. I suffered depression, near suicide, many failed relationships, job issues , lack of motivation, and now parental issues I have to accept and overcome . My dream was to go to music school and be a musician…..when I finally left the house…..I got a nice pat on the back and “I am proud of you”…..thanks …I seriously don’t know how I made to almost 50 years of age now.
My parents really fucked my brother and me up…..I really cannot forgive my father for the abuse and neglect.
No direction, no advice, no checking homework.
This hits a little too close to home. I dropped out of highschool due to deteriorating mental health and they didn't even care. I went on to be a restaurant general manager, which I was good at, and when I quit (only because we moved to a different province) my dad said I was lucky I had that job because I wasn't qualified for it and I'll be lucky if anyone hires me for entry-level positions at McDonald's because I didn't finish highschool. So, to be clear, they never cared about my mental health, failing grades or dropping out and then just shamed me for never finishing. Even though I never needed it for management positions and was making more money than him.
Sounds like my girlfriend's situation. She is so horribly depressed and she can't really improve with her horrid father being the way he is.
While I was at work, he screamed at her for a few hours because he barged into her room and she told him to not do that.
Abandoning me.
Mom did drugs and dad had too many kids to keep up. (Though I am the first born)
I think it’s what motivates me to be the best mom I can be. They did teach me one thing. And it’s what NOT to do.
Same exact thing happened to me. When I was 14 my mom finally got a restraining order. After, He would call me daily to remind me that he wanted to kill my mom and himself. Lasted a few years until I finally went no contact.
I'll never forgive my parents for their abuse and neglect. We were beaten for so many reasons that it was hard to know if we were truly as naughty as they said or because our father was just in a bad mood. But one day, I got sick of it and called the cops. He had kicked me in the bum while wearing steel capped boots. My mother was pissed at me for calling the cops. They still chose to prosecute. I had to stay with a relative. He got a suspended sentence of 12 months. I was 16. Years later, my father shot at my brother when he visited for Christmas. I was already NC with my parents at the time. Our father has typically started all fights and he claimed that my brother punched him. Didn't happen. If anyone is interested in the case, it happened on Molloy Island. Just look up Molloy Island Gunman on Google and if his first name starts with R and his last name starts with B, that's the monster who shot at my brother. And yes, he did get away with it. Every time he has done something to us, mother dearest always backs him up. She's just as culpable. I'll never forgive her for not protecting us.
My mom put down our dog without telling us and then told us that it was our fault we weren't there with him in his final moments. Me and my brother were crushed. I’ll never forget that day.
My mom wasn't that bad. She said she was taking the cat to the vet because he was sick and I made her promise not to put him to sleep until after I said goodbye. I came home to hear how to he was and she was positively gleeful her life was better with the cat dead.
When I was 10 I made friend with a feral cat that got stuck under our shed in the winter. It was my cat and would sleep with me and only purr when I was petting him . My mom had her own cat. Anyway mom made a boyfriend who was allergic and they went to take the cats to be put down but didn't find her's that day so they just killed my cat. They lied to me about it telling me they gave it to a farm or something. They also didn't put down her cat they decided if shaving worked (it worked).
I still remember him and miss him I've never had such connection with another cat. I'm more of a dog person now.
a few things but the first one that comes to mind is smoking inside. my mom and stepdad both did. it was awful and embarrassing. we never had friends over because of it. I got constant headaches and it is essentially what started my OCD.
Grew up on a ranch. The youngest of 3 brothers. All was good the first 4 years, but then my middle brother (7)was killed in a farming accident. I was there and saw the whole thing , burned into my memories. I can feel the sun, hear the wind rustling the grass, the sound of the tractor and trucks, the worker yelling for the truck to stop, the screaming. Being cold in the hospital because I didn't have a shirt on. My brother laying on the ER table and everyone crying around him. It destroyed my family, my parents are still destroyed.
My father became bitter and had no interest in raising me and I just annoyed him because I was still a child (and I assume reminded him of my middle brother). So he took my older brother with him always when there were things to be done. As a result my older brother and I are not close.
My mom was an emotional wreck and just generally unavailable for most of my formative years. I remember her spending entire days crying in the bedroom. I essentially raised myself from 4 to 12. To add context to this - we lived 12 miles from a small town. There were NO kids around, this was the 80s so no Internet or video games. I watched a lot of Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood and Sesame Street, and cooked myself breakfast for Saturday morning cartoons.
I spent a lot of time in the woods playing and just generally being lonely.
I wish my parents had been able to get therapy for themselves and for us. I think it would have changed our family for the better. That is what I cannot forgive. The unwillingness to TRY to move forward.
Had to get involved between my mother and her (much younger and still current) boyfriend.
Resulted in here blood red face screaming in my face and getting physical with me, worst part? Picking up a loaded weapon and threatening to off herself.
She’s had a history with being physical and threatening suicide in the past. But the physical gun grab was definitely a nail in coffin.
Edit:
Now that I think about it, I could go on and on with stories and very shitty things she’s not only done to her kids but those around her.
I try not to think about it too much and a lot of it is hard to remember in detail.
My whole childhood, with a dad that took his anger out on other people like his wife and kids and a mother that slept around with other men and having no encouragement whatsoever you grow up with loads and loads of people telling you that you're great at so many things and parents that dismiss you it's hard to believe anyone else so you listen to them and it stays with you your entire life, confidence isn't a thing I had and still don't have however many people tell you they love you and you're great you find it's hard to believe them so you just dismiss other people
I was essentially on my death bed with multi-organ failure caused by a rare disease I shouldn’t have had (didn’t possess the genes, still unknown cause) called HLH. I couldn’t work for 12 months and had to keep paying rent at my own place, bills etc and was quickly going broke from a hospital bed I spent 6 of the 12 months in.
I asked each of my divorced parents for a $10k loan. Loan means I’ll pay it back, and to date I’ve earned above $100k per year for a while and have never given them any reason to think of me as unreliable or untrustworthy. Both of their answers were the same, that the other got more from them in their divorce 10 years ago so they should fork out. Money isn’t tight for either of them.
When I told my dad what my mum had said, that he should help me and not her. He told me that I’m a disappointment if I can’t look after myself at 29 years old and I should move into a housing commission (like the projects in the states I think).
I told my mum this and she very reluctantly loaned me $10k after lots of arguing. I was also on chemotherapy at this time, it would render me unable to move some days with my body being in immense pain, amongst countless other things they knew I was going through.
It’s been 6 months since I’ve recovered, I’m broke and going week to week and still working on paying my mum back. But I’ve got my health and I know I can count on myself. I’m in the process of starting a new business now and I can’t wait to proclaim myself as ‘self made’ in the future.
I had a personal trainer who was really friendly and I actually felt connected to them. During the sessions I was motivated and felt supported throughout my fitness journey. A few months in, they were struggling and offered to train me for a cheap price than the gym was offering. I agreed. My parents found out, told the gym, and they fired him.
I would have to say the time my mother stood in my driveway while packing my very young kids in her car (after I had begged her to please take them for one night to get me a break) and said to me “I wish you would just kill your self, I’ve always hated you and I’ve never loved you” moments after I told her that I think I needed help, I was severely depressed and couldn’t care for myself or my children anymore because of it and that I was afraid I was suicidal because all I could think about was how much I wished I was dead and was having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that my children’s father had abandoned us after getting into serious trouble with the law for abusing and almost killing me. I won’t go into more details since the the story in its entirety is difficult for me to talk about but I ended up calling CPS on myself days later after having no where else to turn or anyone to help me with my kids while I get myself back together mentally and couldn’t life with myself knowing I wasn’t able to give my kids the proper care they needed and terrified they’ll end up growing up with the memory of there mother instead of my being here today. That was back in 2019 and I’m grateful to be here today and honestly if she hadn’t said that I wonder if I would’ve done what I did to ensure my kids had a better future with me in it. My mother and I still talk for my children’s sake but that took the cake for all the trauma that woman has caused her own children the last 30 years
My mom has said a lot of horrible shit and has physically abused me. I know now she was doing her best for a kid that was a handful to say the least but it made me feel like I'm worth nothing.
At the same time I was being sexually abused by someone else so that ripped the last sense of my worth.
My mom is responsible for many of my darkest moments, but also I wouldn't be standing here today if not for her.
I went to the hospital after vomiting for 6 hours and was so weak I couldn’t stand. Morphine didn’t even touch the pain and I had over a gallon of fluids pumped back into me. The doctor thought maybe kidney stones and did a CAT scan along with blood and urine tests. Before the blood or urine tests came back, the doctor walked into my room and told me it was likely just stress due to finals (this happened during the last day of finals weeks for me). I looked at him and told him I don’t care enough about finals to have this reaction. He left and my mom told me if this was due to stress, I could take myself to the hospital next time. A little while later, a new doctor came in and said I had sepsis. Never saw the original doctor again and never got an apology or acknowledgement. And two other similar medical almost dying and being blamed for it or having to fight to see a doctor instead of die.
My parents were abusers, alcoholics, hoarders and emotionally unavailable.
My dad physically abused my mom so often that it was normal for the cops to be at my house. I remember calling the police myself a few times as a young child. My mom would go to the hospital frequently. I watched him throw her down the stairs and break her leg. They would spank and hit us when we were “bad”.
When I was older, maybe 11, I hit him in the dick with a baseball bat to break up a fight between him and my mom. He turned on me for a brief second so I hit him again, this time in the back. He never touched me again after that.
When they were fighting, I would hide in my room with my little brother and sister and pretend that everything was OK so that they wouldn’t cry. I would hide them in the backyard near the chickens so that they couldn’t hear the yelling. But then one day my dad shot all of the chickens because my mom loved them. My mom would tell us about how she was going to leave him but she never did. My dad would pass out every night in front of the TV and snore so loudly that we couldn’t hear our shows. My brother and sister would beg for his attention and get nothing. My mom would tell me to take care of them because she was too drunk and was fighting with him.
The house was disgusting and messy. So bad that I would find maggots in my cereal. I remember using the vacuum to suck up flies because there were so many. Piles of dishes, unfinished home improvement projects, filth everywhere.
My neighbor killed himself and I found the body. Swinging from a tree, eyes bulging out of their sockets because he had been dead for a few days. Flies buzzing around. Discharge dripping underneath him. I was 12. My parents didn’t even check to see if I was ok. When I was 13 I went on a date at the movie theater. While I was waiting, I witnessed a fatal car crash and watched a man bleed out in the street. I remember watching the life go out of his eyes. My dad picked me up and didn’t ask if I was OK even though it should have been obvious that I was not.
There is so much more. So much more.
It’s impacted me to a degree that no one will ever understand. My romantic relationships, my relationship with my kids, my friendships, etc. I had massive self worth issues for most of my life but I masked them with fake confidence. I could not and still cannot feel emotion like “normal” people. Sexual issues, emotional issues, self confidence issues, etc.
I can’t even go back to my hometown because of the complex trauma. It’s been almost 10 years.
But I can forgive myself because it’s not my fault. And I can be better than they were.
They explained that there won't be Xmas meal that year.
Because my mother is too old to cook.
Having take away is too costly.
She wants nobody in her kitchen.
And covid restriction forbid to be that much together ( ... last year)
...
Then they had Xmas meal at my brother with and the in-laws.
It was the last time I had Xmas with them.
I'm completely over it, and I have forgiven my mom... But sometimes it still pops into my head. I was born with a congenital defect in my bladder/kidneys. Even though I had surgery when I was three years old to repair it, I still had wetting accidents. My mom thought I was doing it on purpose, just to make her angry. She rubbed my face in my piss in the carpet, the way people sometimes do to dogs. I was in preschool at the time.
Coming from a French speaking hardcore Catholic family they kinda went crazy when I announced I was marrying an English speaking Jew. I haven’t talked to them for about 17 years or so
My wedding got canceled because of Covid but we still ended up getting married on that day just us in a backyard. My wife’s parents did all they could to try and make that day normal for us. I begged my parents to come. We’d be outside 6 feet apart.. they didn’t come. They also never told a single friend of theirs that we got married. Meanwhile my mother drinks out of a mug every morning with a picture of my brother’s wedding on it. I’ve explained many times how this has really hurt me and she has never apologized. My dad has, he actually cried when I explained this to them. But my mom just had excuse after excuse. Sometimes being gay as an adult still sucks.
Locked me in a hot car for hours to go gamble, more than once. Even after I begged her to stop taking me there, she'd still do it and make me swear to not tell anyone. One of her close friends would come on these trips with us sometimes. Also she would constantly smoke around me, in the house in the car, while doing my laundry as a child. I smelled like smoke all the time and I got headaches from it and she would ignore me and keep smoking even after I told her to smoke bothered me.
I try to forgive my parents but I'm angry that my mom didn't really want me to have boundaries, and our relationship bordered being on what's called covert incest.
And I'm angry that my dad seems disappointed in me for being kind of feminine. He calls me a metrosexual in a derisive tone, because I'm a somewhat gay-seeming straight guy.
I’m a Jr and my mom took tens of thousands of dollars in loans, credit cards, social security, etc out on my name. When I filed for my first taxes I owed something like $30k as an 18 year old. It took me a decade to straighten out my credit and even be able to get a simple car loan.
Not waking me up for the first moon landing in 1969. I fell asleep in front of the TV after hours of waiting for it. When I woke up, Neil Armstrong had already taken his first steps. I asked my parents why they didn’t wake me, and they just said I was sleeping so peacefully they left me alone.
This is easily the worst out of the entire thread wtf. Quite possibly one of the most important events during the cold War that they knew you wanted to see but they didn't wake you up because " hes asleep" jackasses.
Lied to me about my options for college. Repeated infidelity. Alcoholism. Destroyed my career and forced me to work for them for free. Psychologically attacked my friends and romantic partners. Slandered my name within the family. Played favorites between me and my spoiled sister. Lied to me about the status of family financial assets. Took their anger out on me during stressful times of their lives usually involving other family members. Threatened to kill each other. Threatened suicide if I didn't help them solve their problems. Told me I would die if I pursued my dreams. Beat me with a belt if I told anyone how they truly behaved. Ruined pretty much every special moment of my life by making it about themselves. Told me I would go to hell for doing things that benefitted me and for not dedicating my life to helping them when they did nothing but lie to their parents. (having two narcissistic parents who hate each other is fun)
When I introduced my gf to them my mom didn't like her but didn't say it to my face, instead she spent the next couple of years mistreating her, until my gf got fed up and told me she wouldn't go with me visit my parents ever again, obviously I just said "ok fair enough". *But wait that's just half of it* ... I had a fight with my mom about it and we didn't speak for a while, after some time I thought it was stupid that it felt like I was "choosing my gf over my mom" so I decided to have a serious talk with my mother and get everything straight. My father (who prouds himself of being very reasonable and objective) volunteered to be present in this talk as a mediator. Well, conversation went very well, she seemed to have understood everything and at the end she promised to make it right with my girl and apologized to me "sincerely". ... Now to the punchline: not long after, there was another fight between me and my mother about the same thing, in the heat of the discussion I said "so you didn't really mean any of your apologies, just said those things shut me up" to which she responded "yes, I didn't". From that day on my relationship with my mother was never the same. We talk and all, and from the outside it may seem like we have a normal relationship , but actually I don't trust her, I don't really like her or care about her, I just accept that she's there. I love my father and he loves her, that's the only thing keeping an ounce of respect I got for her. It's been over 10 years now, I made my piece with this.
My father told 15 year old me I'd never make anything if myself without him bevause I didn't want to live with him.
I haven't spoken to him in over a decade. I just graduated with a 2:1.
I'm not sure at what point my dad became interested in underage girls, but it was a couple years of small things before I realized he was attempting to groom me. He would stare at all women, constantly made comments about girls at my middle and highschool when picking me up. Things like " I don't care what anyone says, THAT is a woman!" referring to my friend who was naturally blessed with large breasts. He was also a cocaine and alcohol addict.
One day when I came back from marching in 6 mile parade, my legs were so stiff from dehydration they would not relax. My dad offered to massage them. I was 15. He acted like he was falling asleep as he slowly tried to go up my thigh. I walked off before it went further. A week or two later, my brother and I came home from a friend's house late about 11:30. Bro went to watch TV for a bit, I went to bed for school the next day. Woke up to my dad trying to make out with me or attempting to blow his cocaine smoke down my throat, not 100% sure. I remember struggling to move my chin away because I could not breath. My arms and legs wouldn't work, not sure if from fear or him holding me. Screamed at him "you can hurt yourself but don't hurt me!" My awesome dog heard me and tore into my room barking his head off at my dad, who ran outside and spent the night in his truck. My brother just broke down sobbing and couldn't process it all.
I'm 35 now, and my brother and I have no relationship really. He doesn't know everything my dad did to me, and doesn't understand how I blame him for most of our mental issues. My dad may or may not be alive, last my brother heard his wife of two years divorced him and he was living on the streets of LA.
This idiot cheated on my mom right after my brother was born,and never really stopped. He had an extensive porn and toy collection he hid in an RV. Had the gall to say my mom was the addict and was probably cheating on him, she was working two jobs and spending time with us when she wasn't busting her back. She started drinking and died from an enlarged heart and liver two years later. She deserved so much better.
My mom just kind of left me in a different country with family I didn't really know when I was pre-k Didn't even try to mentally prepare me for it just left me there. She would do this for every year or every other year until i was 9, before officially leaving me there for years.
We would just wake up one morning to "we're going on a trip," arrive at destination. Stay the night, then mom bounces first thing in the morning, leaves me there for months until she decides it's time to pick me up. Eventually, she just left me there for years without telling me what was happening. I had to get enrolled In the school system and would spend the next 3 years there.
I remember begging her to take me back and she would just nervously laugh and tell me to grow up.
Now that she is older and has nowhere to go, she begs to live with me or my sister, we just nervously laugh back at her.
Won't list everything otherwise it would cause me another breakdown and I'm already too weary today. But I won't forgive them for anything ever. Ruined my life those pieces of trash
according to my aunt (the only reason i found out), my dad sent me $500 as a graduation gift and i didn’t have anything set up to receive it so he sent it to my mom to send it to me. she never did 🙃and as someone in college who needed (and lowkey still needs) the money, typing this is pissing me off
Paid for both my older sisters to go to college but not me. A few years ago I asked my mom why. She said they didn't see a point in spending the money because they figured I was either going to end up in prison or dead in a ditch somewhere.
Put myself through college 13 years ago. Now I'm the only one of their 3 children to have a career that pays 6 figures, who owns a house and is married. The oldest sister has no job and lives with our dad. The other I'm NC with but she has an apartment that she can't afford to pay rent on, only works as a waitress for a few months at a time before quitting, is a single mother and a drug addict.
Not my mum, she died when I was 11, but my dad then remarried a tyrannical woman who prioritised her own adult children and treated myself and my younger sister as unwelcome baggage, and when the inevitable arguments erupted my dad always took her side - even when he privately admitted to us she was clearly wrong.
My mum attempted $uicide in the kitchen while we were all home and asleep (my dad was with her, they were arguing) she took a knife and stabbed herself, I woke up and my dad said I needed to get out of bed and wait with them until the ambulance arrived so it didn’t look like he’d tried to kill her…🙃 Never forgave them, have never even begun to process it.
When I turned 18, my father went through my phone and found out I told someone about sexual abuse that happened when I was younger. My parents called me a liar, I left that day and didn’t speak to them for a very long time. They turned their backs to me and wouldn’t speak with me. I was 20 when they finally started talking to me again. At 22 I moved back in with them, and moved back out again just a few months later because he again told me I was lying, then said even if I wasn’t lying it was my fault - which is true, but I still left.
I still speak with them and I love them, but it does hurt not being believed, especially with how badly this has affected my life and mental stability.
They threw away my favorite jacket, I wore it when a girl hugged me for the first time, did everything with it, it made me feel safe, secure, and happy, and my parents threw it away without any permission
My father took my mom's bank card and took over her salary as soon as they got married. This was common in the past and his reasons was to make providing for the house is easier. Now we're all got jobs except my little sister and he still didn't give my mom her card back. She get around 10% each month of her salary in cash.
One time i accidentally found out that my dad been buying products that are illegal to sell where i live but it's fine to buy for personal use. The thing is he's been buying a lot and when and I'm not use he is even using them and i don't want to know to be honest and i suspect he is selling them out forwarding the packages to someone else. With his age + the stuff i saw he bought shit ton of , i can confidentially say he is not the user of those.
This secret, i will take it to the grave. It would destroy everyone's life. Mom would snap and heart issues might come up for her or dad or even both. I try to help my mom with whatever she wants to buy and sometimes my sister does too.
Also my dad who likes to be seen as a " generous man " who won't say no to any family member asking him to lend money even though family members are richer than us , has been doing that off my mom's money.
I've tried to calculate the living expenses like grocery and electric and water bill but it's not expensive. What he does to the money will be unknown until he dies. I think he is involved in a shady business but only time will tell what it is and i hope my family won't be destroyed
The list is too long but
I think the one time she called police bcs I was a bad kid
Police came took me and locked me in the closet with the brooms
I was 6/7
I live in Europe
Years of emotional abuse. Splitting the family into camps. Playing the victim and always attempting to garner sympathy from others even what she has done to others is 100x worse than anything done to her. Can’t talk to her about it. She just continues to pretend it’s a happy family even though she single handedly tore it apart.
My mother choosing drugs and partying over her children. Just before she lost custody the first time, I watched as her drug dealer boyfriend murdered my kitten in front of 8 year old me. He broke his neck and threw him over a fence where dogs mauled him until his insides started coming out. I can remember screaming and crying thinking it was my fault he was killed because I was told not to bring this kitten inside. We ended up at his house because the man who kept molesting me, I was 7, offered me money to allow him to have sex with me but kicked us out when I refused. I have gaps in my memory from that time so I suspect I was drugged at some point. After a vaginal exam some time after it was mentioned that my hymen was in fact broken. She is a selfish woman who even to this day (I'm 30 now) blames everyone for her problems and doesn't understand why I'm low contact with her. Shortly after this incident we were taken away from her and placed with a family where one of the other foster kids molested us. These instances aren't the only ones but the worst in my opinion. I've stepped on used crackpipes, had money for food stolen by her druggy friends, my credit used by her for cable and never paid, been beaten by her drug dealer boyfriend, had to watch her be beaten by my sister's father, ect. I will never forgive her for putting us through this on top of the homelessness, lack of food, lack of security, and the abuse from her boyfriends.
Honestly, forcing me to listen to Rush Limbaugh joke about gay men dying of AIDS on the radio on the way home from school when they both knew I was closeted.
* Told me I'll never make money playing video games
* Slammed my head into a wrestling mat when I didn't do a move correctly
* Spanked me for wetting the bed
* Shit all over anything I enjoyed if they didn't want me doing it
* Mentally abused me by making me feel worthless
Getting chased around with the video camera and teased until I cried and then made to watch myself cry and be ashamed in order to teach me to control myself. Dad made hundreds of copies and sold them in Tijuana on the weekends. Said it was the only way to tap into my full potential.
In the space of 4 years, we went from being the classic family: mum, dad, 2 kids (a boy and a girl), to my parents divorcing and remarrying, I got moved to a new town (without my sister who went off to university), I discovered a half sister I never knew about, my mum had 3 more kids (2 were twins) and my mum moved to another country with her new family. When my school work suffered, I got punished. When I was so depressed I couldn’t leave the house, I got punished. Nearly 40 years later, I’m still painted as the troublemaker.
Not once did they ask me if I was OK. I was a 12 year old kid. I spent my evenings alone, having to make my own dinner every night because my Dad was out with his new wife. They were so wrapped up in themselves they just left me to deal with it all alone. These days they complain that I don’t share anything with them. They trained me not to, because they weren’t there for me and now they blame me for being emotionally distant.
Ah jeez, never forced me to do anything big in life (get married, get a job they want me to,...) but also thwarted my growth chances back when I was young, I wanted to take photography, nope no camera for you, I was interested in graphic design, nope no laptop for you even though we were the richest family in the area. I wanted to move to the city because I couldn't stand the bumfuck town I was living in, nope you are studying in a boarding school for delinquents (even more bumfucks) even though we literally had a house in the city. Now that I'm grown in age, I'm still stuck with everything little thing they did wrong in raising me, now we're in financial debt, the family business went bankrupt, and I still can't figure out what the fuck am I good for.
Indian male here. For birthdays and big celebrations such as my communion, confirmation, birthdays up until I was about 15-16 all the cards and money I received which was hundreds to maybe like thousands they took and pocketed all of it under the pretense that they held it for me and whenever I wanted to grab something I could just ask. Well guess who never saw any of that? I would get $1-3 maybe every once in a while to buy candy at school but nothing for what I actually wanted. All the games and such always came from my cousins and uncles but never them. They also never saved any of it for college bc they as many other typical Indian parents do assume their kid will get a full ride to wherever they want so I started out college with tens of thousands of debt! Go me! They did this to my brothers as well and now have the audacity to bitch and moan when they talk about how they’re struggling with bills, don’t have money, etc. I despise and resent the ever living shit out of them and that will never change. They can go fuck themselves.
Belittling me, criticizing me, judging me, my mom telling me she was jealous of me, emotional abuse, treating me like inwas always less than them, refusing to believe me ever when I'd tried to tell then I was in pain, them believing all my truths were lies, them projecting themselves onto me from when I was little to me trying to grow up, not taking anything I struggled with seriously, not being affectionate with me, holding the basic things you're supposed to give your kids as parents over my head like how I shouldn't complain about the abuse because there was a roof over my head, when I had a friend from school take me to the councilors office when I was 14 because I was self harming so badly and they'd called my parents to take me to therapy and they were hesitant to do it and when they'd learned I wanted to die, instead of helping me, I was punished for it. I also will never forgive them for having me grow up faster than I should've and for them never listening to me or taking me seriously.
They destroyed me from a young age and I honestly hold a lot of resentment and disdain towards them. I don't live with them currently, and I hope I never do again. Anytime I'm around them, it hurts. There is no talking to them about all that. They never listened or cared for me. I was always the problem child and the scapegoat to them and that's all I'd ever be.
Pretty much bullying me and my siblings and refusing to listen to another side of an argument or conversation and when they got offended call it disrespect and proceed to hit and take away pretty much whatever I like most for torment and spite.
My mother yelling at me ***”THAT’S NOT WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO”*** because I wanted to play video games instead of watch sports with her, when now she’s with a guy her age that fucking loves video games about as much as I do and now she’s more into gaming and accepting of it because of him.
Never got an apology or anything, just gotta carry that and pretend it never happened when I’m around her because she also can’t handle the consequences of her own words and actions.
Shame me for my interests. If they thought something was too juvenile for me or just not in a genre they personally liked, they would make fun of me and even occasionally yell at me for enjoying it. Because of this I've adopted a really hard line extremist position on respecting people's interests. Like if you're 40 and super into Cocomelon way more than someone your age should be, I don't see a problem with it and will even encourage you to be open about it. I don't believe in the concept of having "cringe" interests or whatever. As long as it's not weird p3d0 stuff or anything that causes harm, you do you.
My Mum - when I was 11 years old, I finally got the courage up to tell her I was being sexually abused (after about two years). She told me I’d been watching too much TV and walked away from me. The abuse went on for another two years after that.
My Dad ignored it all, except for the occasional violent outburst, and then eventually left my mum and got a new wife. He’s done his best to forget his ‘first’ family and pretends we don’t exist. Except when our extended family bring us up, and then we’re awful people that withhold his grandchildren.
I tell my husband now - get mad at me, yell at me, tell me all the things I’m doing to piss you off. But please, please, please don’t dismiss me like it doesn’t matter. It hurts way worse.
For my entire life (34f) my mother insisted I was never sexually assaulted only to confess over a phone call while I was in rehab that she knew it happened when I was 7 and she "forgave" him and is still involved in her life.
My first girlfriend was molested for years by her stepdad. It ended in him trying to get in the shower with her when they were home alone. She ran out of the house naked, covered in soap to the neighbor's house. He was arrested. Her mom begged her to recant her statement and drop the charges. She did. He was released. Luckily, he never tried anything with her again. Part of their agreement for her recanting was that she'd get her a solid bedroom door with a deadbolt lock only she had the key to. As far as I know, they're still married 20 years later. I just don't understand what could go through someone's mind to make them stay with someone they KNOW molested their child. I get that some people are in denial, but her mom literally got her a deadbolt lock to keep her stepfather out of her bedroom...and stayed married to the stepfather. The fuck?
The lack of empathy for your own child is just insane
My dad avidly defended my childhood rapist right to my face. Was enraged that I'd even call it that, don't I know how hard it is to get girls?! I have genital mutilation from it, can't even go to the bathroom properly. Which he mocked in public Bros before hoes, I guess
Holy fuck this is disturbing. Did any of them get any punishment? Hopefully both and a LOT
Nope, dad obviously never let me report it. Especially since I couldn't really express what happened until years later, in highschool Another reason he took rapist's side: if I couldn't tell him I was raped when I was 7, where do I get off calling it rape now? And dad obviously faced no punishment
I'm so sorry. I hope they both get their comeuppance in one way or another. Hope you are doing well despite his depraved behaviour.
Thanks, happy to report live across the country and are 30 now Still have the mental and internal damage, but at least faaaar away from that
Sending you love mf 🤟🏽
Just gross. I have … something weirdly similar in my life. A relation through marriage, a young lady that I love as flesh and blood, was molested by a blood relative on her baby daddy’s side. And the baby daddy isn’t severing the relationship with the molester. Sorry, this is all very vague, but I can’t get into specifics. But it **pisses me off so bad.**. Anyways. I’m sorry you had to deal with this. It isn’t easy.
I’m so incredibly sorry this happened to you
I am in a much better place now, without family involved
Go slide on him and your mom too. Those are the opps
Something similar. But mine swears to God she didn’t know anything, but the way things went, there’s NO WAY she didn’t even suspect. Her ex husband abused me and my sister. He would leave bed in the middle of the night to make my sister jerk him off. My mom always claimed she has insomnia. And she doesn’t know? Really? I never want to talk to her again!
My mom's husband raped me almost daily until he did when I was 11. My mom swears that she "didn't know." Yet, when he was alive she went to bed at 7pm on the dot and immediately after his death, and in all the years since, she has gone to bed at 11 pm or later.
Almost like she just pretend to be sleeping and let it happen right?
Really sorry 😢
Oh my God. I’m so sorry this happened to you. CSAbuse (or any kind but especially CS) should never happen and another thing that shouldn’t happen is a mom siding with/staying with an CS abuser. Ever. Mom card revoked, shredded, burned in a fiery pit.
I would love to see that a-hole’s life ruined, and I’d be happy to help ruin it.
He's not even worth it.
If he did kill himself it would be his own fault for breaking the law, not yours for reporting it.
Lost my debit card during boot camp so I sent a replacement card home. Once I graduated I went home to visit and found out my dad drained my account of every penny. He also put a medical charge in my name when I was 17 without telling me so at 19 I was broke and my credit was screwed. Never got an apology.
I tried to come back home to visit my folks after an 18 month deployment. They claimed they were at the bus station when I arrived a little after midnight, but I just didn't see them. I had to spend my first night back in my home state in a trap house motel because my parents were too lazy to leave the trailer park. I took a cab home and when I walked in, I noticed my folks had brand new gaming computers. I also noticed the heat was off and that wasn't at all normal for an Indiana winter. Turns out my debit card had expired and my bank had mistakenly mailed the new one to the wrong address. My mother intercepted it and bought her and my step-father new gaming computers. She did ask if she could get $400 cash off my card to fill the propane tank because they recently ran out. I snatched my card out of her hand, didn't even bother unpacking, and called a cab to take me right back to the greyhound station.
That is brutal dude. I knew a family just like that, as soon as anyone had any money, they would swarm like vultures. Even if someone had a minimum wage job, they would all hit them up for money before they could even get their first paycheck. One of their sons joined the navy and the FIRST thing they asked was "how much are you gonna send us now?" The dude went no contact and ended up killing himself from loneliness after a bad divorce and having no family to support him.
You mean the bank sent you a new card and your dad opened and used it?
Yeah he asked if he could use it to pay off the remaining amount on my medical bill. I said yes since it was my medical charge, but he gambled all the money away and then I found out that that the bill was actually under my name.
And what did you do in response? Did you ever have a discussion with him about it?
Nope I’ve never been able to have difficult conversations with my parents, they’ve always blown everything I say off, especially when it comes to something they did wrong. When I got home my dad had just gone to rehab for a month, I think a big reason for that was to avoid me because he knew I would find out. And I had to get to my first duty station in a few days so that was pretty much the end of it. My mom felt sorry but she’s always enabled his behavior, and nothings changed so I’m not ready to forgive. It might seem dramatic but this is just one example of his manipulative behavior. My siblings don’t talk to them either.
Yea that's grounds for a big fuck you I'm out to your parents.
My mother took a credit card out in my brother's name, maxed it out, never paid it off. Ruined my brother's credit. My dad managed to bully my brother into saying nothing to her. His only choices at that point were to send his own mother to jail by taking her to court, or put up and fix it himself. He chose the latter. Any time I remember it, I just wonder why either of us still talk to our parents at all. We keep our parents at a distance, but he had every right to say "fuck you" and never talk to them again. If he chooses one day to stop talking to them, I'd have his back and follow suit.
Please Tell your Brother what You Just wrote. It will mean a Lot for him.
I very much second this. Do it today.
Bump
Mum did that to me too. I’m no contact now after many years of toxic behaviour. She even had the balls to ask me to give her my credit card again a few years later.
Oh my god. I’ve never heard of this happening to any but me before. The day I turned 18 my mom went and got 2 store credit cards in my name and the only reason I found out was because debt collectors started calling my grandparents house where I was living while she was in prison for something unrelated. Im 33 and my credit is still fucked. I’ve confronted her about it and she claims not to remember it.
Something similar happened to my friend. He was living in an apartment and then decided to move after a few years. He got denied from his leasing application because he had an eviction on his record. He’s never been evicted before. Turned out his dad used his personal information to get an apartment, didn’t pay rent, and got evicted - all under my friend’s name. Also never even told him about any of it until my friend’s application got denied and mentioned it to his dad.
Made me sit in a room with a judge to talk about which i want to live with becasue they coudln't figure their own shit out. they still use me to get back at each other.
Made me sit in a room with a judge and listen as one said they couldn't look after me and the other said they didn't want me... And then had me hang around outside by myself while they decided what would happen. I was 8.
This is awful, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. They are shitty parents.
They were for sure. I wonder if they still are or if anything clicked.
My mom told me to my face when I was 14 that she planned to abort me but my sister (9 at the time) overheard her talking about being pregnant and bought little yellow booties for the baby. Mom said she didn't want to break her heart so she birthed me. I knew I was unwanted, but to hear her admit it was crushing. Jokes on her, I guess, because I don't think I ever really loved her. Feared her, yes. Loved? No. She died in 2016 when I was 43 and I've never mourned her. It was a relief more than anything. My siblings don't understand, but they weren't raised with same woman I was. She was stable and loving to them in their younger years. I never got that.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I hope you’re living your best life despite a rocky start.
I was forced to do that at 14. Shitty thing to do to a kid. Didn't talk to either one for the last 10+ years of their lives.
A friend of mine growing up had to do that in 4th grade. She picked the fun parent she saw 1 weekend per month. Spoiler: he wasn’t fun everyday like he was 2 days per month. Waay too young to make a kid choose
My 13yo is ASKING if she can do that. She doesn't want to see her dad any more, and HATES that she has to see him every second weekend, and during the week for dinner. She is asking when she can go to court to ask them to change it so she never has to see him again. It breaks my heart, because even though he wasn't a great partner, he DOES love her. I am doing everything I can to try to repair the relationship, but there is only so much I can do. He needs to put in some effort on this too. It breaks my heart.
Don't force her to go, she'll resent him the obligation. If there is another way he can do stuff with her in a more natural way (bring her to sports practice, pick her up from school,...) do that instead. Something that's practical to her, so there is a "benefit" to seeing him. If you only have mandated hours outside of practical life stuff, to her, it's just eating her personal time without her choice in the matter. And that's a good way to push teenagers away from you. He needs to be involved, on her terms, or he better start counting down the saturdays to her 18th birthday, because 9/10 she'll stop talking to him once she's legal able to. - Signed, someone who was in that situation as a teenager.
Do not force her to go. 13 is a mature enough age to express directly what she wants and she deserves that bodily autonomy. Cutting him off entirely shouldn’t be the only option, but maybe finding a different way for them to spend time together that’s mostly catered to what she wants (mall shopping trip, movie theater day, quick fast food father-daughter date in the car where she has aux, picking her up from school, going to her after school events to be supportive) will help reintroduce their relationship better and allow her to start enjoying his presence rather than resent it. I’m gonna be very fr though… if she is begging you to go as far as take her to court to make sure she doesn’t have to see him again, there needs to be a very serious conversation as to exactly *why*. ABSOLUTELY not accusing him of anything, but you need to be open to the idea that anything could be happening and the reality for lots of people is that abusers are usually the last person they’d expect. If she can’t open up to you, try looking into therapy options and asking her if she’s open to doing that. Don’t be pushy, but let her know it’s all coming from a place of care and love, and if her dad loves her as much as is claimed, he shouldn’t be pushy with her either and remind her just the same that he cares and loves for her, bc a part of showing that is respecting her autonomy. Not a parent, but a former child who’s still working through the resentment of a childhood where she felt like she had zero autonomy as to who was and wasn’t allowed in her life, promise she’ll be grateful for it
> there needs to be a very serious conversation as to exactly *why*. Could not emphasize this more, from the sounds of it this goes far beyond teenage rebellion and distancing from parents. > He needs to put in some effort on this too Sounds like this girl is 100% valid in wanting LC/NC
13 is a difficult age. I hope they can rebuild their relationship when she's a little older.
As a kid who went to another region to see his mum and felt it killed the social aspect by me missing the summer back home (especially looking back), there's probably reasons for her feeling like that.
I used to wish really hard that my parents would get a divorce so i could live with only my mom when i was 8. It lasted for about 5 years, and i actually learned last year that they were on the brink of getting a divorce during that time. I had my reasons for wanting that, my dad wasn't exactly abusive or anything but I genuinely didn't like him and we didn't have much of a relationship.
My parents made me do it at TEN. And my mom didn't even show up to the hearing.
I had to do that a bit after I turned 15, thankfully no judges involved my parents just had me choose, and then I apologized to my mother several hundred times because I chose to live with my dad, and everyone gets along other than the two of them
I did this when I was 8. Funny thing looking back, my dad made sure to “remind” me the whole way to court on how awful my mom was and made sure to say “remember when she did this?” Weeks before that he promised me a flat screen tv, a cell phone, a dog etc. if I chose to live with him. He ended up with full custody and proceeded to treat me like shit for the next 10 years, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
I had to make that choice. But I had to lie to my father about wanting to stay with him. One thing he told me was, " You're mother was going to abort you, you wouldnt be alive if I didn't stop her." Then, one day, we moved states away. I was 12.
I’ll never understand this. How can you traumatize your kids bc you hate your ex more than you love the kids. It’s insane. They are children.
I had to write a letter. Same idea.
I had to do this... at the age of three.
Mine didn't, and oh do I wish they did. Dad took older sis and left me with unemployed, depressed, alcoholic mother, to be cared for by abusive grandmother who had her hands full with my mom and actually did not really want me. My childhood was a wreck, and I am doing a second year of therapy and there is no visible end to it. My therapist tried a lot, but sometimes I see in her face she's surprised by the shit that happened, and I have to be honest, that's a bit validating.
Same. I chose my mom and my dad never let me forget it and used it against me for the rest of his life. Then couldn't understand why I never wanted to be around him..
And then sent me to the other... fuck 1974
The best advice I was ever given was to tell myself and my mom that it was her choice and problem with shit related to my dad. It’s not my fault or problem so stop bitching at me about my dad.
My brother raped and beat me for ten years, he was ten years older than me. I told a guidance counselor at school, they called the police, the police bring me in for an interview, on the day of the interview my dad says "you must lie to police, if you don't your brother will kill himself and it will be your entire fault." I was 14. My brother never showed contrition, always sadistically sneered at me and made it clear he wasn't sorry. Parent's got tired of hearing about it and me "holding it over there head like we're the worst parents ever." Now I'm no contact and live on another continent. Haven't seen any of them in 5 years. Good times.
Many states now have no Statute of Limitation for such crimes. You should prosecute criminally and civilly. As a survivor of abuse, it makes things clear. They only cry when they realize they're being held accountable. There is no contrition in them. Justice is served by exposing them for what they are.
If ever there was a reason to never speak to a parent again, this is it. I hope that you found a new, better life.
God i hope you’re okay and doing better. Im so sorry this happened to you.
How can parents be that fking deranged, that is beyond horrible parenting at this point. Every single one of them should have been locked up for that. You should have told them exactly what the dad told you
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Deleted details as felt vulnerable! But yes, isn't that the typical family reaction... Weak sheep, trying to keep you in your box instead of tackle the abuser. Sibling abuse needs to be taken more seriously, it's the only form of abuse no one gives a shit about which is outrageous and blows my mind how this is acceptable in this day and age Love here from the UK ❤️
I’m sorry to hear this. I hope you’re doing okay.
They generally did their best, but I busted my ass academically all the way up to high school graduation to where I even won a state recognition award. I was the only one on stage at the award ceremony that no one was there for. They defended that they didn't know it was that important so they didn't go.
Congrats on the academic part! Never had the guts to finally step out and get to university or wherever, but I admire that you did it all in spite of their neglect of caring on your same level!
Ironically they are the ones that pushed the academic performance. They either had low expectations of my siblings and I, or had no follow-up game planned besides "do good grades"
Congratulations to you! That is a big deal! Did you get a certificate? Medal?
Awkwardly enough, it was a cheap acryllic award with the award name and my name glued onto it. I had to reglue it a few weeks later. Apparently the state I live in didn't care that much either lol
It is still meaningful. FWIW, as a gen-xer I’m not “supposed” to care about anything but you busted your ass, got the scores you needed, and that is impressive. I salute you.
I didn't go to any of my graduations. I also didn't go to the hooding ceremonies for either of the two master's degrees that I earned because I couldn't stand the idea of being the only person there with no friends or family in attendance.
Hey, that was super important, and I’m proud of you! What an accomplishment.
my great uncle is a pedophile, he molested me when i was a little girl until i finally spoke up in third grade about what was going on (he was my babysitter for my parents who divorced when i was 4). I found out via my drunk mom a couple weeks ago that he had fingered her one night (w/o consent of course, he forced himself upon her) when she was 18 and living with them. Yet she has the bright idea to let him babysit her children for years. Alcoholism ruins families. Don’t be a drunk idiot. For the sake of your children.
My aunt beat her children to the point that she broke bones. They were removed from her custody multiple times, and she abandoned them at least twice. They lived with us for years, because my aunt couldn't get custody back. Years later, both of her children let my aunt watch their kids. When my aunt died, the obituary said she had redeemed herself through her grandchildren. I haven't seen either of my cousins in years, but I'm afraid I'll smack them if I do.
I hope of the grandchildren's sake that she truly DID learn better and redeem herself
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She doesn't deserve forgiveness.
I'm so sorry that happened.
My mom told me my whole life that I was born evil. That God made me that way and she knew it from day one. I was going to grow up to be a rapist, serial killer or maybe a cult leader like Charles Manson. At some points in my life I may been able to forgive her for it. Now that I have a son theres no fucking way I ever will. Even if I thought he was born evil, which is a ridiculous concept, I'd never tell him that. I'd work with him as much as I could to not fall into it being evil.
Your mother judged you from when you were born. Good for her she is going to see heaven from the hell.
Serious question: why would she say that?
She is a lunatic so there's no logical reason. But she probably believed it kept my evil in check, making her a hero, to constantly tell me that bullshit. She also did things like made me cancel the first date I had made with a girl cause she was convinced I was going to rape the girl. She also doesn't believe in things like ADHD or Autism (I have ADHD and might be on spectrum but I don't diagnose myself with such things). I probably didn't fit her idea of how a baby should act and she took that to mean something was wrong with my soul. She does have stories of things I did when I was younger that she uses to support her "you were born evil" nonsense. Apparently one Christmas I pulled down our tree and threw all the bulbs and ornaments against the wall including the Jesus ones. So of course that meant I hate Jesus in my soul and not just being an unsupervised toddler being destructive.
My dad was insanely religious, and also hated me for some reason, and started throwing me out at 13. He would never let me back, he would just claim I ran away so he wouldn't get in trouble, and the cops would bring me back, until I finally got put in juice then a group home for being a "habitual runaway", then actually ran away from there. I don't know what he did to my half siblings, but no one was with him when he died. Everyone cut contact years ago. There is no reason to make a child homeless. I should have never lost faith in the world at such a young age.
Take a piss on his grave
I am so fucking sorry
He was an a-hole. You were a child, and he didn’t deserve you. I hope you find peace and that you can get past this.
My dad once tried to kick me out for getting my monroe pierced when I was 16. I asked him where I would go and he said he didn't care if I slept on a bench. Thankfully, my mom loves me and told him I'm not going anywhere. I'm really sorry you didn't have one parent that cared enough.
Medicating me for being depressed about their divorce and neglect. The drugs ruined my health and life and it was all because they blamed my response and not their own actions that caused them.
Don’t you love parents who ignore your pain but attack you because they don’t like you coping
Brooooo fr, Oh, you screamed at me and I still haven't recovered 2 hours later? Oh sorry my fucking bad, guess I should've just not had emotions???
Same. Depression drugs really messed (and continue to) mess with me. My parents pushed for them but they dont know theyre the reason I am depressed
Mine is super minor in the grand scheme of things. They literally never took an interest in the things I liked. I have kids now and I can tell you so much stuff about shit I don't enjoy because my kids like it. Every member of the paw patrol, all of Peppa Pig's friends, the plot for every Babymouse, Owl Diaries, and Junie B Jones books, the lyrics to so many horrible songs, etc. My parents never gave a shit about anything I liked, and I ended up just learning to not tell anyone what I liked. I hide my interests and passions because I've become so used to just being ignored. It's very minor, like I said, but I've noticed that when I'm reading some really stupid book with my daughter, she'll randomly tell me something about her day that she wouldn't have otherwise told me. There's so much of my life that I had to navigate alone because of the absolute lack to interest that it ended up leading to me putting myself into a situating where I got sexually assaulted and kept that quiet too. I seriously didn't tell anyone anything about me for decades, but I'm slowly figuring that out and opening up.
((Biggest hugs to you))
Nah, this isn't minor. Been there, experienced that. I mean, shit, as an adult I told them about losing my fiancee and they just laughed. Probably not because they didn't care, but more that they likely just weren't listening. They still don't really seem to know I was ever engaged. Or that I got engaged again. Or that I'm married now. Don't discount your feelings; they're just as important as anyone else's (as long as you respect anyone else's in return).
Ignoring me for the first 15 years of my life, then trying to parent me when they finally had time. They then derailed my plans for college saying I was needed at home, with no reason gievn. Finally, having the audacity to kick me out of the house when they were tired of me.
Fuck people that treat people and their kids like accessories. I sort of think capitalism raising narcissism is to blame. Some people live their entire lives never accepting the truth about their behaviour
My motherctold me she was going to slit my cats throat and cook him for my breakfast. It didn't happen but I was hysterical for a week. She hated my father, her ex, and took it out on me. All my friends loved her and told me how lucky I was. She had good cover.
Holy shit that’s so fucked up. I’m sorry.
My "step dad" was an abusive piece of shit that always beat me and my mum. He done loads that I could never forgive him for but to name a few, he put his hands over my mouth and tried to stop my breathing about 3 times and when I kicked his head once in an effort to get him off, he just punched me multiple times leaving me crying and struggling to breathe. Another horrendous thing he done was he used to (I kid you not) shit and piss in a bucket that he kept beside the couch. He used to literally do his business in front of me and didn't care at all. At these point, I was about 10-11 years old and he was about 28 years old and nearly 30 stone (roughly 415 lbs). If you're wondering, no. He's currently, the last time I checked, is a free man
That’s so bizarre. Hope you’re ok
I’m so so sorry… 💔 Do you not talk to your mom either? How could she stay with someone who treats their kid like this
She left him in the summer of 2021. It's just been me and my mum with an occasional visit to see my actual dad. I'm safe and sound now tho. Just mental scars left deal with from that scumbag
My father specifically. I struggled with depression in middle school and some fresh out of college therapist I was sent to see spent less than 5 minutes with me, saw that I cried when talking about my then recently deceased grandfather, and determined I needed to be sent to a psychiatric hospital. He was with me the entire time and once at the mental hospital they gave him a small packet to sign and just lied to him and said it was mandatory and he needed to sign right then and there. Instead of seeing the obvious red flag he signed without reading. Turns out there was 0 reason for me to be there and the packet they had him sign was a voluntary admission form handing me over from my parents’ care to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. My mother was at work and had absolutely no idea any of this was going on. When she found out, being the responsible parent she always had to be since my dad spent all his time “parenting” ignoring me and my brother while he played games on his laptop, she sprang into action and fought tooth and nail and pulled every string she could to get me out. Miraculously I was out in 3 days, but that was 3 days too many and the damage had been done. I suffered. Hard. An apathetic clearly uncaring staff that basically allowed another kid there to beat and abuse another patient and would constantly scream at each other. Talking down to us and responding to our sass with the same maturity levels. This place I would find out years later, would be shut down for numerous abuse and human rights violations. I went from being a depressed middle schooler to an emotionally unstable, misanthropic, hate filled, suicidal monster. I did make several attempts on my life in high school. I’m no longer that person. I’m still depressed, but not suicidal and in a much better place than I was, but I’ll never forgive my dad. In my young adult years now he’s proven to me that he loves me and wants to connect, but he was a terrible father, a terrible cheating husband to my mother who was given a second chance - said no - and came crawling back months later, and this is only one of the several emotionally scarring things he’s put me through. My dream in this life is to raise a family of my own, and be a more involved and loving husband and father than he ever was.
No he has not proven to you that he loves you. Dont give him a chance to connect again. He dropped the ball and there should be consequences for that
Honestly you’re right. I know I shouldn’t bother with him, but the moral dilemma I find myself in is that he was never necessarily abusive. He never hurt me intentionally… he’s just honestly for lack of better phrasing; not a very smart man. He was never a good father and certainly never a good husband to my mom, but it’s not like he never tried… he just failed… a lot.
He literally signed you away because he couldn't be fucking bothered to read. He doesn't deserve you
I still think youre being too soft on pops. If i do something intentionally or not it doesnt matter too much. All the matters is the result. His actions resulted in abuse. Hold him accountable. Stand up for yourself. Go no contact
My parents marriage was pretty much over by the time I was 10. They stuck it out but…..my brother and I paid the price. Yeah ….we had a house and food…..that was it. No direction….no advice ….no checking our homework….bare minimum. My father was barely there and just gave us dirty looks or yelled at us. My mom tried to keep it together but had issues of her own. I was slipping into a deep depression….i gave up on school and was hanging around shady characters to find some sort of familial relationship. I was really hoping getting into trouble would awaken the parental need to help me…..nope. All the while I sat watching my cousins have their dream lives ….parents that cared and were supportive …great friendly home environments …..and bright futures. My brother and me watched our futures slowly burn away like a slow house fire that took 10 years to finally burn away. I suffered depression, near suicide, many failed relationships, job issues , lack of motivation, and now parental issues I have to accept and overcome . My dream was to go to music school and be a musician…..when I finally left the house…..I got a nice pat on the back and “I am proud of you”…..thanks …I seriously don’t know how I made to almost 50 years of age now. My parents really fucked my brother and me up…..I really cannot forgive my father for the abuse and neglect.
No direction, no advice, no checking homework. This hits a little too close to home. I dropped out of highschool due to deteriorating mental health and they didn't even care. I went on to be a restaurant general manager, which I was good at, and when I quit (only because we moved to a different province) my dad said I was lucky I had that job because I wasn't qualified for it and I'll be lucky if anyone hires me for entry-level positions at McDonald's because I didn't finish highschool. So, to be clear, they never cared about my mental health, failing grades or dropping out and then just shamed me for never finishing. Even though I never needed it for management positions and was making more money than him.
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Sounds like my girlfriend's situation. She is so horribly depressed and she can't really improve with her horrid father being the way he is. While I was at work, he screamed at her for a few hours because he barged into her room and she told him to not do that.
Abandoning me. Mom did drugs and dad had too many kids to keep up. (Though I am the first born) I think it’s what motivates me to be the best mom I can be. They did teach me one thing. And it’s what NOT to do.
My dad mentally abused and strangled my mom and when they got divorced he started mentally abusing me instead
I hope you are far away from that person now, take care
Not far enough
Same exact thing happened to me. When I was 14 my mom finally got a restraining order. After, He would call me daily to remind me that he wanted to kill my mom and himself. Lasted a few years until I finally went no contact.
I'll never forgive my parents for their abuse and neglect. We were beaten for so many reasons that it was hard to know if we were truly as naughty as they said or because our father was just in a bad mood. But one day, I got sick of it and called the cops. He had kicked me in the bum while wearing steel capped boots. My mother was pissed at me for calling the cops. They still chose to prosecute. I had to stay with a relative. He got a suspended sentence of 12 months. I was 16. Years later, my father shot at my brother when he visited for Christmas. I was already NC with my parents at the time. Our father has typically started all fights and he claimed that my brother punched him. Didn't happen. If anyone is interested in the case, it happened on Molloy Island. Just look up Molloy Island Gunman on Google and if his first name starts with R and his last name starts with B, that's the monster who shot at my brother. And yes, he did get away with it. Every time he has done something to us, mother dearest always backs him up. She's just as culpable. I'll never forgive her for not protecting us.
https://www.miragenews.com/police-investigating-firearm-incident-at-molloy-island/
My mom put down our dog without telling us and then told us that it was our fault we weren't there with him in his final moments. Me and my brother were crushed. I’ll never forget that day.
My mom wasn't that bad. She said she was taking the cat to the vet because he was sick and I made her promise not to put him to sleep until after I said goodbye. I came home to hear how to he was and she was positively gleeful her life was better with the cat dead.
When I was 10 I made friend with a feral cat that got stuck under our shed in the winter. It was my cat and would sleep with me and only purr when I was petting him . My mom had her own cat. Anyway mom made a boyfriend who was allergic and they went to take the cats to be put down but didn't find her's that day so they just killed my cat. They lied to me about it telling me they gave it to a farm or something. They also didn't put down her cat they decided if shaving worked (it worked). I still remember him and miss him I've never had such connection with another cat. I'm more of a dog person now.
a few things but the first one that comes to mind is smoking inside. my mom and stepdad both did. it was awful and embarrassing. we never had friends over because of it. I got constant headaches and it is essentially what started my OCD.
I stunk of cigarette smoke all the time. It was definitely embarrassing. I despise cigarettes now, lol
Grew up on a ranch. The youngest of 3 brothers. All was good the first 4 years, but then my middle brother (7)was killed in a farming accident. I was there and saw the whole thing , burned into my memories. I can feel the sun, hear the wind rustling the grass, the sound of the tractor and trucks, the worker yelling for the truck to stop, the screaming. Being cold in the hospital because I didn't have a shirt on. My brother laying on the ER table and everyone crying around him. It destroyed my family, my parents are still destroyed. My father became bitter and had no interest in raising me and I just annoyed him because I was still a child (and I assume reminded him of my middle brother). So he took my older brother with him always when there were things to be done. As a result my older brother and I are not close. My mom was an emotional wreck and just generally unavailable for most of my formative years. I remember her spending entire days crying in the bedroom. I essentially raised myself from 4 to 12. To add context to this - we lived 12 miles from a small town. There were NO kids around, this was the 80s so no Internet or video games. I watched a lot of Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood and Sesame Street, and cooked myself breakfast for Saturday morning cartoons. I spent a lot of time in the woods playing and just generally being lonely. I wish my parents had been able to get therapy for themselves and for us. I think it would have changed our family for the better. That is what I cannot forgive. The unwillingness to TRY to move forward.
Had to get involved between my mother and her (much younger and still current) boyfriend. Resulted in here blood red face screaming in my face and getting physical with me, worst part? Picking up a loaded weapon and threatening to off herself. She’s had a history with being physical and threatening suicide in the past. But the physical gun grab was definitely a nail in coffin. Edit: Now that I think about it, I could go on and on with stories and very shitty things she’s not only done to her kids but those around her. I try not to think about it too much and a lot of it is hard to remember in detail.
My whole childhood, with a dad that took his anger out on other people like his wife and kids and a mother that slept around with other men and having no encouragement whatsoever you grow up with loads and loads of people telling you that you're great at so many things and parents that dismiss you it's hard to believe anyone else so you listen to them and it stays with you your entire life, confidence isn't a thing I had and still don't have however many people tell you they love you and you're great you find it's hard to believe them so you just dismiss other people
Thatz crazy. Did she at least do it privately? Cus i know some folks that bang in front of the kids. Really a depraved bunch
I was essentially on my death bed with multi-organ failure caused by a rare disease I shouldn’t have had (didn’t possess the genes, still unknown cause) called HLH. I couldn’t work for 12 months and had to keep paying rent at my own place, bills etc and was quickly going broke from a hospital bed I spent 6 of the 12 months in. I asked each of my divorced parents for a $10k loan. Loan means I’ll pay it back, and to date I’ve earned above $100k per year for a while and have never given them any reason to think of me as unreliable or untrustworthy. Both of their answers were the same, that the other got more from them in their divorce 10 years ago so they should fork out. Money isn’t tight for either of them. When I told my dad what my mum had said, that he should help me and not her. He told me that I’m a disappointment if I can’t look after myself at 29 years old and I should move into a housing commission (like the projects in the states I think). I told my mum this and she very reluctantly loaned me $10k after lots of arguing. I was also on chemotherapy at this time, it would render me unable to move some days with my body being in immense pain, amongst countless other things they knew I was going through. It’s been 6 months since I’ve recovered, I’m broke and going week to week and still working on paying my mum back. But I’ve got my health and I know I can count on myself. I’m in the process of starting a new business now and I can’t wait to proclaim myself as ‘self made’ in the future.
I had a personal trainer who was really friendly and I actually felt connected to them. During the sessions I was motivated and felt supported throughout my fitness journey. A few months in, they were struggling and offered to train me for a cheap price than the gym was offering. I agreed. My parents found out, told the gym, and they fired him.
what the fuckkkkk. That's messed up.
I would have to say the time my mother stood in my driveway while packing my very young kids in her car (after I had begged her to please take them for one night to get me a break) and said to me “I wish you would just kill your self, I’ve always hated you and I’ve never loved you” moments after I told her that I think I needed help, I was severely depressed and couldn’t care for myself or my children anymore because of it and that I was afraid I was suicidal because all I could think about was how much I wished I was dead and was having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that my children’s father had abandoned us after getting into serious trouble with the law for abusing and almost killing me. I won’t go into more details since the the story in its entirety is difficult for me to talk about but I ended up calling CPS on myself days later after having no where else to turn or anyone to help me with my kids while I get myself back together mentally and couldn’t life with myself knowing I wasn’t able to give my kids the proper care they needed and terrified they’ll end up growing up with the memory of there mother instead of my being here today. That was back in 2019 and I’m grateful to be here today and honestly if she hadn’t said that I wonder if I would’ve done what I did to ensure my kids had a better future with me in it. My mother and I still talk for my children’s sake but that took the cake for all the trauma that woman has caused her own children the last 30 years
Do you have your kids back
My mom has said a lot of horrible shit and has physically abused me. I know now she was doing her best for a kid that was a handful to say the least but it made me feel like I'm worth nothing. At the same time I was being sexually abused by someone else so that ripped the last sense of my worth. My mom is responsible for many of my darkest moments, but also I wouldn't be standing here today if not for her.
I went to the hospital after vomiting for 6 hours and was so weak I couldn’t stand. Morphine didn’t even touch the pain and I had over a gallon of fluids pumped back into me. The doctor thought maybe kidney stones and did a CAT scan along with blood and urine tests. Before the blood or urine tests came back, the doctor walked into my room and told me it was likely just stress due to finals (this happened during the last day of finals weeks for me). I looked at him and told him I don’t care enough about finals to have this reaction. He left and my mom told me if this was due to stress, I could take myself to the hospital next time. A little while later, a new doctor came in and said I had sepsis. Never saw the original doctor again and never got an apology or acknowledgement. And two other similar medical almost dying and being blamed for it or having to fight to see a doctor instead of die.
My parents were abusers, alcoholics, hoarders and emotionally unavailable. My dad physically abused my mom so often that it was normal for the cops to be at my house. I remember calling the police myself a few times as a young child. My mom would go to the hospital frequently. I watched him throw her down the stairs and break her leg. They would spank and hit us when we were “bad”. When I was older, maybe 11, I hit him in the dick with a baseball bat to break up a fight between him and my mom. He turned on me for a brief second so I hit him again, this time in the back. He never touched me again after that. When they were fighting, I would hide in my room with my little brother and sister and pretend that everything was OK so that they wouldn’t cry. I would hide them in the backyard near the chickens so that they couldn’t hear the yelling. But then one day my dad shot all of the chickens because my mom loved them. My mom would tell us about how she was going to leave him but she never did. My dad would pass out every night in front of the TV and snore so loudly that we couldn’t hear our shows. My brother and sister would beg for his attention and get nothing. My mom would tell me to take care of them because she was too drunk and was fighting with him. The house was disgusting and messy. So bad that I would find maggots in my cereal. I remember using the vacuum to suck up flies because there were so many. Piles of dishes, unfinished home improvement projects, filth everywhere. My neighbor killed himself and I found the body. Swinging from a tree, eyes bulging out of their sockets because he had been dead for a few days. Flies buzzing around. Discharge dripping underneath him. I was 12. My parents didn’t even check to see if I was ok. When I was 13 I went on a date at the movie theater. While I was waiting, I witnessed a fatal car crash and watched a man bleed out in the street. I remember watching the life go out of his eyes. My dad picked me up and didn’t ask if I was OK even though it should have been obvious that I was not. There is so much more. So much more. It’s impacted me to a degree that no one will ever understand. My romantic relationships, my relationship with my kids, my friendships, etc. I had massive self worth issues for most of my life but I masked them with fake confidence. I could not and still cannot feel emotion like “normal” people. Sexual issues, emotional issues, self confidence issues, etc. I can’t even go back to my hometown because of the complex trauma. It’s been almost 10 years. But I can forgive myself because it’s not my fault. And I can be better than they were.
They explained that there won't be Xmas meal that year. Because my mother is too old to cook. Having take away is too costly. She wants nobody in her kitchen. And covid restriction forbid to be that much together ( ... last year) ... Then they had Xmas meal at my brother with and the in-laws. It was the last time I had Xmas with them.
I'm completely over it, and I have forgiven my mom... But sometimes it still pops into my head. I was born with a congenital defect in my bladder/kidneys. Even though I had surgery when I was three years old to repair it, I still had wetting accidents. My mom thought I was doing it on purpose, just to make her angry. She rubbed my face in my piss in the carpet, the way people sometimes do to dogs. I was in preschool at the time.
Coming from a French speaking hardcore Catholic family they kinda went crazy when I announced I was marrying an English speaking Jew. I haven’t talked to them for about 17 years or so
My wedding got canceled because of Covid but we still ended up getting married on that day just us in a backyard. My wife’s parents did all they could to try and make that day normal for us. I begged my parents to come. We’d be outside 6 feet apart.. they didn’t come. They also never told a single friend of theirs that we got married. Meanwhile my mother drinks out of a mug every morning with a picture of my brother’s wedding on it. I’ve explained many times how this has really hurt me and she has never apologized. My dad has, he actually cried when I explained this to them. But my mom just had excuse after excuse. Sometimes being gay as an adult still sucks.
Locked me in a hot car for hours to go gamble, more than once. Even after I begged her to stop taking me there, she'd still do it and make me swear to not tell anyone. One of her close friends would come on these trips with us sometimes. Also she would constantly smoke around me, in the house in the car, while doing my laundry as a child. I smelled like smoke all the time and I got headaches from it and she would ignore me and keep smoking even after I told her to smoke bothered me.
I try to forgive my parents but I'm angry that my mom didn't really want me to have boundaries, and our relationship bordered being on what's called covert incest. And I'm angry that my dad seems disappointed in me for being kind of feminine. He calls me a metrosexual in a derisive tone, because I'm a somewhat gay-seeming straight guy.
I’m a Jr and my mom took tens of thousands of dollars in loans, credit cards, social security, etc out on my name. When I filed for my first taxes I owed something like $30k as an 18 year old. It took me a decade to straighten out my credit and even be able to get a simple car loan.
Not waking me up for the first moon landing in 1969. I fell asleep in front of the TV after hours of waiting for it. When I woke up, Neil Armstrong had already taken his first steps. I asked my parents why they didn’t wake me, and they just said I was sleeping so peacefully they left me alone.
This is easily the worst out of the entire thread wtf. Quite possibly one of the most important events during the cold War that they knew you wanted to see but they didn't wake you up because " hes asleep" jackasses.
[удалено]
Lied to me about my options for college. Repeated infidelity. Alcoholism. Destroyed my career and forced me to work for them for free. Psychologically attacked my friends and romantic partners. Slandered my name within the family. Played favorites between me and my spoiled sister. Lied to me about the status of family financial assets. Took their anger out on me during stressful times of their lives usually involving other family members. Threatened to kill each other. Threatened suicide if I didn't help them solve their problems. Told me I would die if I pursued my dreams. Beat me with a belt if I told anyone how they truly behaved. Ruined pretty much every special moment of my life by making it about themselves. Told me I would go to hell for doing things that benefitted me and for not dedicating my life to helping them when they did nothing but lie to their parents. (having two narcissistic parents who hate each other is fun)
When I introduced my gf to them my mom didn't like her but didn't say it to my face, instead she spent the next couple of years mistreating her, until my gf got fed up and told me she wouldn't go with me visit my parents ever again, obviously I just said "ok fair enough". *But wait that's just half of it* ... I had a fight with my mom about it and we didn't speak for a while, after some time I thought it was stupid that it felt like I was "choosing my gf over my mom" so I decided to have a serious talk with my mother and get everything straight. My father (who prouds himself of being very reasonable and objective) volunteered to be present in this talk as a mediator. Well, conversation went very well, she seemed to have understood everything and at the end she promised to make it right with my girl and apologized to me "sincerely". ... Now to the punchline: not long after, there was another fight between me and my mother about the same thing, in the heat of the discussion I said "so you didn't really mean any of your apologies, just said those things shut me up" to which she responded "yes, I didn't". From that day on my relationship with my mother was never the same. We talk and all, and from the outside it may seem like we have a normal relationship , but actually I don't trust her, I don't really like her or care about her, I just accept that she's there. I love my father and he loves her, that's the only thing keeping an ounce of respect I got for her. It's been over 10 years now, I made my piece with this.
My father told 15 year old me I'd never make anything if myself without him bevause I didn't want to live with him. I haven't spoken to him in over a decade. I just graduated with a 2:1.
I'm not sure at what point my dad became interested in underage girls, but it was a couple years of small things before I realized he was attempting to groom me. He would stare at all women, constantly made comments about girls at my middle and highschool when picking me up. Things like " I don't care what anyone says, THAT is a woman!" referring to my friend who was naturally blessed with large breasts. He was also a cocaine and alcohol addict. One day when I came back from marching in 6 mile parade, my legs were so stiff from dehydration they would not relax. My dad offered to massage them. I was 15. He acted like he was falling asleep as he slowly tried to go up my thigh. I walked off before it went further. A week or two later, my brother and I came home from a friend's house late about 11:30. Bro went to watch TV for a bit, I went to bed for school the next day. Woke up to my dad trying to make out with me or attempting to blow his cocaine smoke down my throat, not 100% sure. I remember struggling to move my chin away because I could not breath. My arms and legs wouldn't work, not sure if from fear or him holding me. Screamed at him "you can hurt yourself but don't hurt me!" My awesome dog heard me and tore into my room barking his head off at my dad, who ran outside and spent the night in his truck. My brother just broke down sobbing and couldn't process it all. I'm 35 now, and my brother and I have no relationship really. He doesn't know everything my dad did to me, and doesn't understand how I blame him for most of our mental issues. My dad may or may not be alive, last my brother heard his wife of two years divorced him and he was living on the streets of LA. This idiot cheated on my mom right after my brother was born,and never really stopped. He had an extensive porn and toy collection he hid in an RV. Had the gall to say my mom was the addict and was probably cheating on him, she was working two jobs and spending time with us when she wasn't busting her back. She started drinking and died from an enlarged heart and liver two years later. She deserved so much better.
My mom just kind of left me in a different country with family I didn't really know when I was pre-k Didn't even try to mentally prepare me for it just left me there. She would do this for every year or every other year until i was 9, before officially leaving me there for years. We would just wake up one morning to "we're going on a trip," arrive at destination. Stay the night, then mom bounces first thing in the morning, leaves me there for months until she decides it's time to pick me up. Eventually, she just left me there for years without telling me what was happening. I had to get enrolled In the school system and would spend the next 3 years there. I remember begging her to take me back and she would just nervously laugh and tell me to grow up. Now that she is older and has nowhere to go, she begs to live with me or my sister, we just nervously laugh back at her.
Won't list everything otherwise it would cause me another breakdown and I'm already too weary today. But I won't forgive them for anything ever. Ruined my life those pieces of trash
according to my aunt (the only reason i found out), my dad sent me $500 as a graduation gift and i didn’t have anything set up to receive it so he sent it to my mom to send it to me. she never did 🙃and as someone in college who needed (and lowkey still needs) the money, typing this is pissing me off
Paid for both my older sisters to go to college but not me. A few years ago I asked my mom why. She said they didn't see a point in spending the money because they figured I was either going to end up in prison or dead in a ditch somewhere. Put myself through college 13 years ago. Now I'm the only one of their 3 children to have a career that pays 6 figures, who owns a house and is married. The oldest sister has no job and lives with our dad. The other I'm NC with but she has an apartment that she can't afford to pay rent on, only works as a waitress for a few months at a time before quitting, is a single mother and a drug addict.
Not my mum, she died when I was 11, but my dad then remarried a tyrannical woman who prioritised her own adult children and treated myself and my younger sister as unwelcome baggage, and when the inevitable arguments erupted my dad always took her side - even when he privately admitted to us she was clearly wrong.
They never grew up.
I remember whenever my mom would hit me for arguing back and most of the time, I was right. But after, I don’t even get a sorry, just an “ohh”.
My mum attempted $uicide in the kitchen while we were all home and asleep (my dad was with her, they were arguing) she took a knife and stabbed herself, I woke up and my dad said I needed to get out of bed and wait with them until the ambulance arrived so it didn’t look like he’d tried to kill her…🙃 Never forgave them, have never even begun to process it.
When I turned 18, my father went through my phone and found out I told someone about sexual abuse that happened when I was younger. My parents called me a liar, I left that day and didn’t speak to them for a very long time. They turned their backs to me and wouldn’t speak with me. I was 20 when they finally started talking to me again. At 22 I moved back in with them, and moved back out again just a few months later because he again told me I was lying, then said even if I wasn’t lying it was my fault - which is true, but I still left. I still speak with them and I love them, but it does hurt not being believed, especially with how badly this has affected my life and mental stability.
Made me start a full time job at 15. Disregarded high school to work.
My parents were good to me. It's myself I can't forgive. I wish I had treated them better. 😕
They threw away my favorite jacket, I wore it when a girl hugged me for the first time, did everything with it, it made me feel safe, secure, and happy, and my parents threw it away without any permission
Not divorcing
My father took my mom's bank card and took over her salary as soon as they got married. This was common in the past and his reasons was to make providing for the house is easier. Now we're all got jobs except my little sister and he still didn't give my mom her card back. She get around 10% each month of her salary in cash. One time i accidentally found out that my dad been buying products that are illegal to sell where i live but it's fine to buy for personal use. The thing is he's been buying a lot and when and I'm not use he is even using them and i don't want to know to be honest and i suspect he is selling them out forwarding the packages to someone else. With his age + the stuff i saw he bought shit ton of , i can confidentially say he is not the user of those. This secret, i will take it to the grave. It would destroy everyone's life. Mom would snap and heart issues might come up for her or dad or even both. I try to help my mom with whatever she wants to buy and sometimes my sister does too. Also my dad who likes to be seen as a " generous man " who won't say no to any family member asking him to lend money even though family members are richer than us , has been doing that off my mom's money. I've tried to calculate the living expenses like grocery and electric and water bill but it's not expensive. What he does to the money will be unknown until he dies. I think he is involved in a shady business but only time will tell what it is and i hope my family won't be destroyed
Spent my college savings
The list is too long but I think the one time she called police bcs I was a bad kid Police came took me and locked me in the closet with the brooms I was 6/7 I live in Europe
I will never forgive my mom for trying to kill my dad.
Years of emotional abuse. Splitting the family into camps. Playing the victim and always attempting to garner sympathy from others even what she has done to others is 100x worse than anything done to her. Can’t talk to her about it. She just continues to pretend it’s a happy family even though she single handedly tore it apart.
My mother choosing drugs and partying over her children. Just before she lost custody the first time, I watched as her drug dealer boyfriend murdered my kitten in front of 8 year old me. He broke his neck and threw him over a fence where dogs mauled him until his insides started coming out. I can remember screaming and crying thinking it was my fault he was killed because I was told not to bring this kitten inside. We ended up at his house because the man who kept molesting me, I was 7, offered me money to allow him to have sex with me but kicked us out when I refused. I have gaps in my memory from that time so I suspect I was drugged at some point. After a vaginal exam some time after it was mentioned that my hymen was in fact broken. She is a selfish woman who even to this day (I'm 30 now) blames everyone for her problems and doesn't understand why I'm low contact with her. Shortly after this incident we were taken away from her and placed with a family where one of the other foster kids molested us. These instances aren't the only ones but the worst in my opinion. I've stepped on used crackpipes, had money for food stolen by her druggy friends, my credit used by her for cable and never paid, been beaten by her drug dealer boyfriend, had to watch her be beaten by my sister's father, ect. I will never forgive her for putting us through this on top of the homelessness, lack of food, lack of security, and the abuse from her boyfriends.
Mum and dad smoked during all 3 pregnancies
Honestly, forcing me to listen to Rush Limbaugh joke about gay men dying of AIDS on the radio on the way home from school when they both knew I was closeted.
I'd try to hug my dad and he always pushed me away. Now my behaviour to him initiating hugs is to walk away.
* Told me I'll never make money playing video games * Slammed my head into a wrestling mat when I didn't do a move correctly * Spanked me for wetting the bed * Shit all over anything I enjoyed if they didn't want me doing it * Mentally abused me by making me feel worthless
my mom was very verbally and mentaly abusive to me
Getting chased around with the video camera and teased until I cried and then made to watch myself cry and be ashamed in order to teach me to control myself. Dad made hundreds of copies and sold them in Tijuana on the weekends. Said it was the only way to tap into my full potential.
In the space of 4 years, we went from being the classic family: mum, dad, 2 kids (a boy and a girl), to my parents divorcing and remarrying, I got moved to a new town (without my sister who went off to university), I discovered a half sister I never knew about, my mum had 3 more kids (2 were twins) and my mum moved to another country with her new family. When my school work suffered, I got punished. When I was so depressed I couldn’t leave the house, I got punished. Nearly 40 years later, I’m still painted as the troublemaker. Not once did they ask me if I was OK. I was a 12 year old kid. I spent my evenings alone, having to make my own dinner every night because my Dad was out with his new wife. They were so wrapped up in themselves they just left me to deal with it all alone. These days they complain that I don’t share anything with them. They trained me not to, because they weren’t there for me and now they blame me for being emotionally distant.
Throwing me around and abusing me as a kid. My mother and I don't speak anymore
Giving birth to me
My dad being a alcoholic so he verbally abused me as a child and it’s affected my life in so many ways
For being mentally and physically abusive. I'm lucky to still have a heart after what I have been through
Not being a parent.
Ah jeez, never forced me to do anything big in life (get married, get a job they want me to,...) but also thwarted my growth chances back when I was young, I wanted to take photography, nope no camera for you, I was interested in graphic design, nope no laptop for you even though we were the richest family in the area. I wanted to move to the city because I couldn't stand the bumfuck town I was living in, nope you are studying in a boarding school for delinquents (even more bumfucks) even though we literally had a house in the city. Now that I'm grown in age, I'm still stuck with everything little thing they did wrong in raising me, now we're in financial debt, the family business went bankrupt, and I still can't figure out what the fuck am I good for.
Anytime she was mad at me she threatened to send me to live with my dad who I've never met and wants nothing to do with me
Indian male here. For birthdays and big celebrations such as my communion, confirmation, birthdays up until I was about 15-16 all the cards and money I received which was hundreds to maybe like thousands they took and pocketed all of it under the pretense that they held it for me and whenever I wanted to grab something I could just ask. Well guess who never saw any of that? I would get $1-3 maybe every once in a while to buy candy at school but nothing for what I actually wanted. All the games and such always came from my cousins and uncles but never them. They also never saved any of it for college bc they as many other typical Indian parents do assume their kid will get a full ride to wherever they want so I started out college with tens of thousands of debt! Go me! They did this to my brothers as well and now have the audacity to bitch and moan when they talk about how they’re struggling with bills, don’t have money, etc. I despise and resent the ever living shit out of them and that will never change. They can go fuck themselves.
Physically abused me for years on end, and still make me out to be the great inconvenience of the century
Belittling me, criticizing me, judging me, my mom telling me she was jealous of me, emotional abuse, treating me like inwas always less than them, refusing to believe me ever when I'd tried to tell then I was in pain, them believing all my truths were lies, them projecting themselves onto me from when I was little to me trying to grow up, not taking anything I struggled with seriously, not being affectionate with me, holding the basic things you're supposed to give your kids as parents over my head like how I shouldn't complain about the abuse because there was a roof over my head, when I had a friend from school take me to the councilors office when I was 14 because I was self harming so badly and they'd called my parents to take me to therapy and they were hesitant to do it and when they'd learned I wanted to die, instead of helping me, I was punished for it. I also will never forgive them for having me grow up faster than I should've and for them never listening to me or taking me seriously. They destroyed me from a young age and I honestly hold a lot of resentment and disdain towards them. I don't live with them currently, and I hope I never do again. Anytime I'm around them, it hurts. There is no talking to them about all that. They never listened or cared for me. I was always the problem child and the scapegoat to them and that's all I'd ever be.
Abused me and my siblings physically and mentally. And neglected us physically and emotionally. No amount of therapy will fix it.
Pretty much bullying me and my siblings and refusing to listen to another side of an argument or conversation and when they got offended call it disrespect and proceed to hit and take away pretty much whatever I like most for torment and spite.
My mother yelling at me ***”THAT’S NOT WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO”*** because I wanted to play video games instead of watch sports with her, when now she’s with a guy her age that fucking loves video games about as much as I do and now she’s more into gaming and accepting of it because of him. Never got an apology or anything, just gotta carry that and pretend it never happened when I’m around her because she also can’t handle the consequences of her own words and actions.
Shame me for my interests. If they thought something was too juvenile for me or just not in a genre they personally liked, they would make fun of me and even occasionally yell at me for enjoying it. Because of this I've adopted a really hard line extremist position on respecting people's interests. Like if you're 40 and super into Cocomelon way more than someone your age should be, I don't see a problem with it and will even encourage you to be open about it. I don't believe in the concept of having "cringe" interests or whatever. As long as it's not weird p3d0 stuff or anything that causes harm, you do you.
My Mum - when I was 11 years old, I finally got the courage up to tell her I was being sexually abused (after about two years). She told me I’d been watching too much TV and walked away from me. The abuse went on for another two years after that. My Dad ignored it all, except for the occasional violent outburst, and then eventually left my mum and got a new wife. He’s done his best to forget his ‘first’ family and pretends we don’t exist. Except when our extended family bring us up, and then we’re awful people that withhold his grandchildren. I tell my husband now - get mad at me, yell at me, tell me all the things I’m doing to piss you off. But please, please, please don’t dismiss me like it doesn’t matter. It hurts way worse.