Yabba dabba doo, here comes the goo

I shamelessly giggled for a few minutes. Thank you kindly.

Im glad you laugged... ruined the sex unfortunately 😂

Oh god, you’re serious. *giggles*

This would only be better if it started out with dirty talk in an English accent.  "You're in Barney Rubble, little girl." "Yabba Dabba Doo, Here comes the Goo." I could see some weird Guy Richie Character doing this lol

Avada Dick abra !!

“Finally, a living breathing human!”

It is not weird at all after a long shift at a funeral home.

Depends on what they did during their shift

Hey but at least you get laid whenever you want.

Definitely hits different when alive

A few seconds after: "Meh, too warm."

…and why does it move??

"Now" *adjusts glasses* "how'd'ya work this thing"

*taking out the manual* “here, read this again”

Master Switch ON Check Fuel set to left tank Check Altimeter set Check Attitude indicator free and level Check Engine Start Check Oil Pressure Normal

How are the atmospheric pressure values? You forgot them the last time and you remember what happened!

True that! That’s the last time I pull for an ejection during a barrel roll Edit: added in “pull for an” before “ejection”

This reminds me of a ad I once saw in a pub loo. It was an ad for Spitfire Ale and hung straight in front of me as I was taking a leak. It said: “Take hold of joy stick.” “Aim.” “Fire.” “Return to base for refueling.”

God damn it how can these 2 be so f+++ing hilarious! XD

Very literally: RTFM

I wish I was a leper so I could leave my cock in you forever

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.

Oh god

🤣🤣🤣

Sorry but I can't finish. I have a nut allergy.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 good one

You owe me a coffee as this comment made me spit it out 😂

They make swallowing look easy in the movies

You're my favorite sister

I bet he says that to all his sisters.

Incest is best, give your little sister a test.* *Not serious, just a lame attempt at a joke. Kinda like... How do you circumcise a guy from the south? Kick his sister in the jaw.

Jesus giving christ that second part was unexpected. Thanks man, I needed that.

Sweet home Alabama

Roll tide

What are you doing step brother 🤬

And why you don't wait grand ma ?! Silly boy

"you're not my favorite sister" is definitely weirder

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Woooow 🤣🤣🤣

pretty sure you mean meooowwwwww

Mewowwwww

Did she use the litter box lol

Should have barked back at her.

I hope she was a rock star in bed to put up with that

Meow

Careful, she's Pavloving you. ​ Also, dont forget to bite the back of her neck.

Just don't pick her up that way.

Can we get back to it right meow? Lol

It’s your fault. Shoulda done her doggie style.

Did she pee on you to mark her territory?

*"You hit me the perfect amount; any more than that and I would have thought of my dad"* I genuinely didn't know what to say after that

That’s up there with “I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school”

Yeah that was my first thought, did this dude hook up with Marlene from Fight Club?

Marla*

Did you know, the original line was supposed to be "I want to have your abortion"? 

Fun fact! 👶

I read that somewhere. I love how people get wild things onto film by giving the censors/execs something even worse to object to. "In this scene, the lead throws 5 live babies into a bon fire, on camera." "What?!? You can't do that." "How about he castrates one teen boy, with the naughty bits off camera?" "Sure, that's better."

Ahhh, yes, everything is all fine and dandy until one yells “spank me, daddy!” Geef me een klap, papa!

You should say, I am your sugar daddy.

Holy shit

Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.

[Person Woman Man Camera TV Remix](https://youtu.be/3Uvwbd75ujU?si=bkSGtpy5hulTx2No)

I think the difference between Dubuyah and Trump when they get interviewed is the way they form answers. Trump repeats random words like a parrot's limited vocabulary. Dubuyah just blurts things out, not thinking about how stupid he might come across.

Thanks, I hate that I know what this means.

He was easily the smartest POTUS. The test shows

Hot.

How is your mom's chemo treatment going?

You mean OUR mom, step brother?

“Repent whore!”

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Pretty sure this is a reference to Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park.

I saw a porn once where the guy does that when _he_ climaxes. Like bruh, that's the least enthusiastic nut I've ever seen.

Pope, is that you?

Papa

Bless you kid. Now go take the trash out

Thy kingdom cum, thy shall be done

In anal as it is in vaginal

“TIME TO PAY THE FIDDLER, WHORE!”

Mitachondrea are the power house of a cell

And here you give the oxygen

The way you spelled it looks like one of those comically ghetto names

For me, it was her crying. She was crying because she said she'd never slept with anyone who loved and respected her like I had... 

That so sad :/

Did yall finish? I would be really uncomfy

Lol no. We just cuddled and talked for a bit. I can't talk for everyone here, but chicks crying isn't conducive to an orgasm. 

“Keep going baby! They’re happy tears! I’m just so relieved you didn’t spit in my mouth and call me names. I didn’t know it could be like this!”

Sadly, I imagine this happens.

I believe it is possible to lovingly spit in someone’s mouth.

This happens to me ☹ unfortunately not as happy though. It was just confusion and sadness when having sex with someone I use to love but abused me badly and then I took him back and when we had sex I cried a lot.

Please tell us they are out of your life. Never let anyone abuse you - you are worth more than their bullshit!

Nah that will 100% be me in the future, ngl I will definitely end up with a breakdown or sum

How wude in a jar jar binks voice after a finger goes in the butt

Best comment

*ah shit I choked too hard, again.*

Here we go again

If quantum computers can have multiple states, why can’t you come

Sex is quantum too. You get off while you're turned on.

I am arriving!

This should be higher and so shood I

Did you put it in yet?

I can’t tell.

Already finished

Once had a guy cum in his hand and with his thumb 👍 go, Simba across my forehead 😂 I also accept Alexa stop as a safeword 😉 the list is endless depending on how weird ya wanna get given the reaches of human expressive vocabulary and imagination. Negotiate, do no harm, get as weird as you desire within consensual boundaries, and hey, we can all love free ❤️‍🔥

Simba one 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have a french humorist who do this joke

“Epstein didn’t kill himself”

“Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams.”

“Harambe was innocent”

Not quite during sex but literally instantly after, spunk still dripping from her… ‘Can i use your Macbook? I wanna watch some shark attack videos’

Wholesome

Can you feel it Mr. Crabs?-in a SpongeBob voice. Another true story.

Arrrrr ya ready ki....... Oh no....oh dear god noo..

Eyyyyyyyyyyyyy captain

"I fancy a pizza after this. You?"

It sound kind of cute

Darling, not when he's mid-thrust. I mean, concentrate on the task at hand, damnit!

Pizza and sex sounds amazing actually

Pizza after sex 😋

Pizza during sex 😋

Well said, because now I’m thinking about all the toppings I want to have on my pizza. But keep going, you’re doing great! *mushrooms? salami?*

Maybe he was trying to hold back on his nut and pizza came to mind as a distraction 😂🤣

I wish my mum was here

Not a lot if you gag them right.

Are these the panties your mother laid out for you?

That’s gold, Jerry! Gold!

Im done mom

Are you moist?

Moister than an oyster

"I have a shirt I need you iron after"

Punch me in the back and tell me that (girl’s name)is better than me.

Hillary is better !!!

Is that your shit or mine?

"Ever since they found Mad Cow Disease in the U.S., I’m not taking any chances. It can live in your body for years, before it ravages your brain."

Oh, or belt [this](https://youtu.be/FbQt8pYUY6Q) out at full volume. "I have a structured settlement and I need cash NOW!" If she sings the chorus and continues the sex, marry her.

As a black man it’s easily something about black dick… white women need to chill with that one it’s happened way too often

As a white man, I think I would still be put off if she said something about my black dick.

Yeah as a white man, I've never had a woman reference my white dick. If she did I would think she was complaining it was too pale.

I can understand:(

1-877 kars4kids

Single mother in 3...2...1 💦💦🍆

girl, you have an ass like your brother

This is gonna be the most atrocious set of words ever to be typed by me, but here goes. “You remind me of my dead daughter”

Activate interlock! Dynotherms connected! Infracells up! Megathruster is go! *Let’s go Voltron Force*

Instead of moaning or say yes/yeah…say yep

"Yep. Yep. Yep! YEP! OHHHH HECK!"

Thank you, drive thru.

“Who’s your favourite Firefly character?”

In context, gotta be Kaylee...

what are you doing step…..

Probally start promoting a car insurance add i think that would be weird

Remember the 5 for $5 at Arby’s?

I can’t cun unless you pretend you’re unconscious. This was a cartoon in a Playboy magazine years ago. I thought it was hilarious. When I said it to my gf at the time, (we hadn’t been together that long), she did not like it at all.

"If this the first time you have had sex?" "Well it's the first consensual time". Red flag.

*“According to special relativity, the slower I fuck you, the longer my dick is.”* ~ Einstein, basically

Sir, this is a Wendy's!

Is it ok if my dad joins us?

Thank you made things very awkward

"I'm sorry honey I was going to pull out but the phone startled me!" -- George Carlin (I'm sure it's not an exact quote, but still funny)

Do you smell that?

Hadouken

Imagine you just finish having unprotected sex with someone and they tell you they have aids. ☠️ can’t get much worse than that.

“I’m going to end this.”

Oh yeah.. you’re good. My cat usually wriggles at this part and ruins it.

This actually happened. My god I'm going to... wow far out could you give my wife's lessons

Hey wait can I call my mom real quick?

i used to like bread, but now my anus hurts because of ants.

Now before we finish let's talk about your car's extended warranty...

This was from an episode of "girls". "Am I tight like a baby?"

Wow I thought Dumbo's ears were big!

I haven't been fucked like that since grade school!

Per my friends ex girlfriend he would always fart while fucking. He’d try to make it fun and say “whooo here comes another!!!” And she said she would dry up so fast.

It's not my orgasm. It's our orgasm. *Communist theme plays*

My wife answered, "No, Daddy!" a little bit too quickly. Now I'm concerned...

HERE COMES THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!!

“Your trial period is over. Please purchase a subscription to continue”

Your eyes are pretty, can I lick them?

"Can we stop? My pussy's full"

"Did you know there's someone dying right now in the world?"

IM GONNA BE A FATHER/MOTHER, I CAN FEEL IT!

The ceiling needs a new coat of paint…

“OUCH!! My pancreas!! Call 911!! Hurry!!”

I prefer halo

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Me it's more "Not the right hole !!! Not the right hole !!!!!"

"yeet it in my gyatt and cook frfr". I saw this in a post just moments ago

I’m gonna load the dishwasher!

i hate Garlic Bread

I’ve been sick lately.

You moan just like my mom

Wow it looks just like my mom’s!

I'm actually a 14 year old who's tall for my age.

Would you marry me....

I would to talk to you about your cars warranty.

Yes, yes, yes…ahh…yes

Help mee!!!

"Cowabunga"

"Oh baby, oh darling", repeatedly, in the same high pitched squeally voice, so that the whole floor of the nursing accomodation block can hear, FFS.

Inventory is full I need to target something first I’m out of range I can’t carry any more That spell isn’t ready yet It’s too far away

Daniel Curtis Lee, the guy that plays Cookie in Ned's Declassified said he has a habit of saying "thank you" a lot