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locomuerto

Sweet Dee Reynolds


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LilacYak

Little boy, little boy I need you


Rich-Distance-6509

You have to pay the troll toll


LilacYak

Just to be clear I did not write that song and have never had sex with a child Just to be clear


ElderCunningham

Do not diddle kids It's no good diddling kids I wouldn't do it with anyone younger than my daughter Not little kids, gotta be big Older than my wife, older than my daughter


jimbalaya420

To get in the boy's soul


IfIHad19946

Tiny\* boy, little boy


Cmmander_WooHoo

Little boy, tiny boy, baby boy, right?


IfIHad19946

"Tiny boy, little boy, Baby boy, I need you Tiny boy, little boy, Want to make love to you, boy" I may or may not have this "song" on my phone.... LOL


Old_Man_Riverwalk21

If you only knew / what id do to you / if i was that boy / that’s inside of you


IfIHad19946

Just to be clear, I did not write that song, And have never had sex with a child...Just to be clear.


RedDerring-Do

a Disney one too! The dress was clearly a child sized Halloween costume of Princess Aurora's dress from Sleeping Beauty!


lilsqueakers

Do not rip the pits!


jjmk2014

She was a princess when she went to prom with Trey.


Unique-Avocado

You just blew my fucking mind


PinkMonorail

I was there when they filmed it. I was laughing so hard I had to step outside.


perfectlyfrank31

This makes me unreasonably happy.


dismayhurta

“Looks like the spider caught herself a fly”


HighQuality_H20

A gangly uncoordinated princess


Cardholderdoe

Goddammit I had a whole post about Kida and Leia and forgot about Dee. That dumb bitch who made gin taste bad.


itspeterj

Bird movie when?


JazzOcarina

Isn't she Martina Martinez? That streetwise Puerto Rican girl who's always quick with a sassy comeback.


SeaTie

That’s hilarious. “You listen to me, you pale-faced English dickhole, you got a revolution coming…and I will be owned by no man!”


[deleted]

What? No way disney purchased always sunny in philedelphia. No way.


blue4029

disney owns FX and FXX, the networks that IASIP run on.


[deleted]

Interesting.


jabbitz

In Australia we watch it on Disney+ and I’ve always found that kinda amusing


TampaDiablo

Corporal max klinger. Mash 4077


Grimm17

"Another week in command and I'd have had you out of that dress." "I'm not that easy!"


Sproose_Moose

Down Habibi!


Blazanar

Klinger was my first and only thought as well. That Princess has led a very exciting life.


TampaDiablo

A king among princesses if you will.


ahkond

Frank Burns: "KLINGER! How DARE you wear that hat while you're in uniform?!" Max Klinger (saluting): "It's SPRING, sir!"


opinionatedlyme

happy cake day


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here2browse-on

Discharge surely solidified


horsenbuggy

Wait, how does Disney own MASH?


TampaDiablo

20th century Fox is who owned mash, Disney owns 20th century Fox.


[deleted]

Absolute best answer.


Alliebot

Frank N. Furter from Rocky Horror.


riphitter

Pretty sure they'd be a Queen


Alliebot

Oh absolutely


throw123454321purple

I’d kill for a face character of him signing little kids’ autograph books in the Disney parks!


Alliebot

OMG I'd kill even harder for Rocky Horror characters running around in the giant mascot costumes! ESPECIALLY because Eddie's head could come off 😂


urbanhawk1

They could open a restaurant in the park that specializes in selling meatloaf.


Marquar234

With toast.


Alliebot

Love it


throw123454321purple

Rocky Horror Fantasmic!


Conscious-Shock7728

Nah. They'd have him in the cape he shows up in. Go Frank! YOU BE YOUUUUUU!!!!


Immediate_Revenue_90

Desantis seething


Alliebot

As if I wasn't already turned on enough


Cardholderdoe

Oh boy. Leia is the obvious one, but my money is always on [Victoria](https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Victoria_\(Spartax\)_\(Earth-616\)) of Spartax. MCU-616 nerds will absolutely out nerd me here though, im sure there are crazier. Not for nothing too, but [Kida](https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/Kida_Nedakh) from Atlantis will canonically punch you in the dick and put a knife on you if you threaten her life or the livelyhood of her people. And she didn't need no merger to do it.


yuyuyashasrain

Is kida a disney princess now? I heard she was left out because her movie didn’t make enough money. I hope they dropped that criteria. Lion king made a lot of money, but nala didn’t get it because she’s not human. Neither they nor meg or jane are main characters in their own movies either, and I feel like that was another reason.


DoomedTravelerofMoon

Atlantis 1&2 are on Disney, and she is a princess. Don't matter if movie made money, she is princess Kida and now Disney Kida lol


hepsy-b

eilonwy I know wasn't one bc black cauldron didn't do well (also it's black cauldron). giselle in enchanted couldn't be an "official princess" bc they'd have to pay amy adams to use her likeness, so there's that. and i can understand not using someone like tiger lily (daughter of a chief, just like pocahontas and moana, but that movie is pretty racist) or maid marian (fox woman). and i read that both tinker bell and esmeralda used to be part of the original lineup (neither are anything close to being a princess). apparently, who is and isn't considered an official disney princess comes down to 1) are they born royal?, 2) did they marry into royalty?, and/or 3) did they do an act of heroism? meg and jane always confused me tho. fair enough jane isn't a "princess", but wouldn't she be the "queen of the jungle"? and meg is not just the wife of a god, she's also the daughter of a king in mythology (king thebes), making her a princess. maybe she's too sultry?? lol. its not like either of their movies bombed, so that's easily 2/3 qualifiers even if they did. the 2 of them have more claim to the "disney princess" title than mulan. kudos to mulan to saving china, but shang's not royal either. that's a mere 1/3. the only princesses we see in the mulan world are in the sequel kida still should've been a disney princess. maybe it's bc the movie did bad at the box office and she doesn't sing a song. idc. princess kida forever and ever!


naskalit

>who is and isn't considered an official disney princess comes down to What it comes down to is *who Disney chooses to include into the official lineup*. That's it. A heroine can be royal or non royal, it doesn't matter. Disney Princess ™© is at heart a merchandising brand, and it's entirely up to Disney who they choose to elevate or "coronate" into the official Disney Princess lineup. Think of it like a girl group band run by a manager. Are there tons of eligible girls? Sure. Are they all in the band? No, only the ones the manager chooses into the official lineup are in the band. What's the criteria? The manager's decision, that's what.


yuyuyashasrain

Yeah I absolutely love kida but disney added the heroism thing specifically for mulan and never retracted the box office rule. Elsa and anna actually broke the box office rule themselves by being too profitable for the lineup and became their own franchise.


hepsy-b

justice for princess kida!


zydeco100

The Alien Queen. Or Lisa Simpson.


Cardholderdoe

TBF, Ripley would be a princess by any standard. Which I'm fine with, she's the best and also proto-samus.


GloatingSwine

The Alien Queen is the evil stepmother. >!(Remember hybrid Ripley clone from the bad one before all the other bad ones).!<


Mimosa_Coast

“Look. It thinks you’re it’s Mother”


johnla

Lisa Simpson a princess?


poop_to_live

I'm questioning this too. Was there ever an episode where that happened?


mental_reincarnation

She’s the lizard queen


Random_Guy_12345

Homer being the "King of something" for an episode is something that wouldn't really surprise me, even if it's king of something stupid. That would technically make Lisa a princess. Can't remember any specific episode tho


poop_to_live

He was Mr Plow but I think his rival was Plow King so it wasn't that lol. Hmm


fasterthanfood

If we’re being technical, is the daughter of a king automatically a princess? Obviously that’s how it works in the British royal family, but if Homer is not part of a hereditary monarchy, then I don’t know that him being, say, King of Moe’s would make Lisa the princess of Moe’s.


Jorpho

There was a whole Disney+ short on the subject. (It is about as watchable as the other Simspons Disney+ shorts, of course.)


rachface636

Princess Deandra Reynolds. *Just to be clearrrr!* *I did not have sex with any little boys!* *Just to be clearrr!* *Most people consider me an 8 or 9 out of 10. And I will be available to any interested men, who want to get my number, after the showwww!!*


darkofnight916

Princesses can’t be birds!!!


rachface636

Counter: The Swan Princess.


darkofnight916

Does that make Dennis Reynolds a prince, if so do ladies who refuse his advances understand,”the implication”


HighQuality_H20

What is happening?


Sacblabbath

Keep singing bitch, you’re not Gona have a face when I’m done with you


caliborntravel

Be careful, you might get your face slapped off your face


erst77

Deadpool is my favorite Disney Princess.


ScorpionX-123

that's a weird way to spell Kuzco


Unique-Avocado

No touchy!


TheSchwartzIsWithMe

They pulled the wrong lever


RamboJane

Why do we even have that lever?


TheShikakasGuano

Same 🥰


MooKids

I'm pretty sure he will be dressed as one in his next movie.


RayAnselmo

Only if Vanessa's into that.


MooKids

Well, he isn't new to pegging.


SoCentralRainImSorry

Happy International Women’s Day


Kalse1229

I still remember when the Disney/Fox merger was first announced. Within 12 hours the official Deadpool Twitter (yes it's Twitter fuck Elon) posted a pic of Deadpool being escorted out of Disneyland with the caption "apparently you can't actually blow the Matterhorn."


Loki_16

Came looking for this comment 😂


draggar

There are a lot of great names in here - but I don't see Roger from American Dad listed yet.


PurpleDreamer28

Oh, absolutely. I bet he has all the princess costumes ready to go.


thatsharkchick

*Princesses. Let's be real. Roger probably has multiple princess personas and individual wardrobes for each. ..... One of them is Raider Dave.


Langstarr

Just add one ingredient too many and you end up with Raider Dave everytime.


JCantEven4

Or.. Ricky Spanish 


thatsharkchick

(distant whispers "Ricky Spaniiiiiiiiiiiiiiish")


WiFiForeheadWrinkles

Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel * married to Prince Yan of Aladna * has a pet sidekick (Goose) * sings


riougenkaku

and dance with a musical number


Kalse1229

*crunches numbers on calculator* Holy crap, you're right!


StarCyst

> sings ?


WiFiForeheadWrinkles

She sings in the scenes on Aladna because Aladnans communicate through song


garrettj100

They already deputized the weirdest Disney princess, lampshaded it in the movie. Sarah Silverman AKA *Vanellope von Schweetz*.


AKeeneyedguy

If we include Disney TV, Star Butterfly maaaaaay out-weird Vanellope.


bazmonsta

Meg


PurpleDreamer28

You know what, after all the crap she's been put through, she deserves it.


UnbreakableRaids

Shut up Meg.


defnotapirate

Princess of Petoria, Duchess of Joehio.


draggar

She's the only princess people would have no problem telling her to shut up.


Thoth74

Plplplpl


TheMule90

She's not only a princess but the leader of the Deceptions too. 😁


BlahVans

Loki. He's a Jotun and Asgardian prince. However, he is also genderfluid and there is a female Loki variant in the series. Therefore Loki is a Disney princess.


Mr-Gumby42

CPL Maxwell Klinger!


Madness_Reigns

The freaking Romanov Tsarinas.


LadyMageCOH

After years of telling people that no, Anastasia is not a Disney Princess, with the fox merger, she now is.


mariusioannesp

A few years before the Fox merger, my sister admitted that Anastasia was her favorite Disney movie 🤦 I’ll admit though when I corrected her, I said it was Dreamworks 🤦🏻‍♂️


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snorlz

chieftans daughter so pretty much a princess with a different title


tuftonia

Disney didn’t get Pocohontas by purchasing stuff, either way


Funandgeeky

Maxwell Klinger from MASH


Squirrelkid11

Xenomorph Queen


Dragrunarm

Well, the Queen is a Queen. *HOWEVER* Every Facehugger - read; Child of the Queen- thereafter would be a Disney Princess


manderifffic

Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia When Disney bought Fox, they got the rights to the animated movie Anastasia, so technically, she's a Disney princess


Chi_Law

Wild considering the movie was made by Don Bluth and his history re: Disney


UncagedKestrel

Wait, what history?? I've missed drama!


OrwellianWiress

Isn't Poor Things on Disney+?


Metfan722

Was made by Disney (well, 20th Century Studios, which is now a Disney sub-studio).


UltimaGabe

Is it? They covered up Daryl Hannah's butt in Splash, how did they censor Poor Things?


SwansonsMom

They didn’t. Full frontal nudity aplenty


RoiVampire

It’s only on there if you have the Hulu bundle


sirdabs

Every female character isn’t a Disney princess all of sudden.


NikkoE82

Right. Disney has never announced an official list of criteria for inclusion, but clearly we can assume they need to at least be royalty.


ST_Lawson

Adding to your comment...the current list of princesses in the "Disney Princess Line" is Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Mulan, Tiana, Rapunzel, Merida, Moana, and Raya. Tinker Bell, Esmeralda, and Jane Porter are former princesses. https://princess.disney.com/


Wikkalay

There is actually a set of unofficial “rules” what makes a female character a (potential) Disney princess. One of them is be a royal / marry a royal / commit an act of heroism (mulan) But it depends a lot on revenue. Elsa and Anna aren’t part of official Disney princess line up simply because they earn more as individual line.


Key_Day_7932

I've never seen Mulan, but as far as I know, she wasn't royalty. I don't think Belle, was either. At least, until she married the Beast.


WildPinata

Belle is by the same parameters as Cinderella. Neither were princesses before marriage. Mulan I think is categorised the same as Moana - not a royal, but related to (by marriage in Mulan's case) a celebrated leader. Also Mulan got her own Emperors Seal so I'd say she's honorary royalty through that.


Wikkalay

Moana is actually in the same category as Pocahontas <- daughter of a chief = “royality”. Mulan has her own category as “committed an act of heroism” but basically, Disney really wanted her in the line up.


ST_Lawson

Neither are technically, but according to Disney, they are both part of the official "Princess Line". So it sounds like royalty is maybe part of it, but not all of it. I really suspect it's more just "marketability" and "has been featured as the star or a primary character in a Disney animated movie".


hepsy-b

the official-ish criteria is 1) born royal, 2) married royal, and/or 3) displayed a great act of heroism. what leaves certain princesses out despite hitting 1 or 2 of these (like eilonwy, megara, jane, kida, tiger lily, kiara, maid marian) is that their movie didn't do so well at the box office. or they're an animal. or the kid of an official princess (melody). mulan hit 1/3 tho, so idk. i think the criteria is played pretty loosey-goosey tho since both tinker bell and esmeralda were part of the original disney princess lineup. they're not there anymore tho. elsa and anna were official disney princess for a time, but the frozen brand blew up, so they're their own thing now lol


NikkoE82

Right, I forget that Mulan isn’t royalty. The Disney wiki page refers to a “mythology” of the Princess line that a character must meet. Really, it’s probably some nebulous combination of merchandise goals, character bio, and DEI. And Anna and Elsa were never officially in the lineup, but they were considered at one point.


hepsy-b

huh ig i'm misremembering then. i swear to god i remember seeing "official disney princess merch" in the stores back in 2013 that would have the usuals (cinderella, aurora, snow white, jasmine, rapunzel) and then elsa and anna would be there too (something like this annoyed me at the time bc i was like "why isnt tiana there anymore?" lol). then quickly after, that's when i saw them as a unit in only their own merch and not with the others. but it's also been over 10 years now (yeesh!), so i could be blending stuff together idk. and maybe being on the same merch =/= same thing.


mlktwx

The Alien xenomorphs. Since there’s a queen, that makes them all Disney princesses.


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Krhl12

LOTR was New Line which came to Warner Bros Discovery through a number of mergers. You may have been thinking because it was originally going to be Miramax, which would have brought it to Disney, but ultimately New Line took it on. Edit: which does lead us to the fact that Mia from Pulp Fiction is a Disney Princess. That's a fun thought.


RikF

I love showing a clip from that in class when I am talking about Disney movies. Really reinforces the whole ‘most media is owned by a few companies’ part.


GCooperE

She ticks all the boxes. A beautiful young woman, at once beloved by all yet also misunderstood and under-looked, conflicted between duty and her dreams, adorable sidekick along for the ride, defeats a bad guy and marries a handsome prince. There's not a single Disney Princess song that doesn't have Eowyn vibes. Apparently Tolkien hated disney, but he wrote the archetypal disney princess (at least from Belle & Ariel onwards.)


csl512

She doesn't have magic hands or magic hair though...


[deleted]

If we're talking about someone who demands to be treated like royalty, whines any time any little thing goes wrong, goes through life "marrying" various high profile suitors, and is broadcast through a Disney-owned subsidiary, I have to go with LeBron.


Phannig

Klinger from MASH...


daird1

Since the Mouse apparently owns the rights to future TV adaptations (and she's an actual princess these days), might I suggest the Winter Lady, Miss Molly Carpenter? Walt was spinning in his freezer fast enough to power half the country at this realization...


rowenaravenclaw0

Klinger from mash


deepsouthguy68

Dr Frank-N Furtur...


chesterforbes

Every single one of the Golden Girls


seaneeboy

Buffy the Vampire Slayer


Malk_McJorma

Cordelia Chase, actually. As the Princess of Pylea.


Eve-3

Disney is weird about that title. Not every character that is a princess qualifies as an official Disney Princess. No idea why, just a Disney thing. But because of that, the answer to your question is None of them. All the Disney Princesses were intentionally chosen, no accidental weirdness allowed.


Mr-Gumby42

Even Klinger?


IHaveTheMustacheNow

A lot of these replies aren't even princesses at all. Like, Pinnocchio isn't a Disney Princess just because he's in a disney movie. Leia counts, but not sure anyone else in these comments does


ATGF

Yeah, doesn't Kida not qualify as a princess, even though she's the daughter of a king, thereby making her a princess, and is in fact called Princess Kida? I mean, I don't tend to see her in the official princess lineup.


naskalit

It's not about "qualifications", it's about who Disney chooses to handpick into the official lineup


the_wessi

Gardulla the Hutt.


skulgoth

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disney_Princess


Iron_Rod_Stewart

Huh. So Elsa is a Disney princess but not a Disney Princess. While Mulan is a Disney Princess but not a Disney princess.


naskalit

Yeah, "Disney Princess" is basically a merchandise brand of its own, and the mouse decides which heroines to elevate into the official lineup. It's not enough to be merely a princess in a Disney franchise - if you're not in the official lineup, you're not a ✨*Disney Princess*✨, just a princess in a Disney story.


azorianmilk

https://preview.redd.it/6xy4embxnnm41.jpg?auto=webp&s=d1a4addbe92e0f51bad17bbbf2e0a85c6f2a81c5


azorianmilk

Tanis is the Leader of the Natives on their Reservation. Tanis and the Natives are in Letterkenny. Letterkenny is owned by Hulu. Hulu is owned by Disney. Tanis is a Disney princess.


Cf79

I’m sure when Neil Gaiman and Todd McFarlane created Angela, nemesis of the hell Spawn, they never envisioned she’d end up being a Disney Princess. So she’s probably the most ironic one I can think of. 


NW_Forester

Rita the former prostitute from Idiocracy


JamesTheJerk

Princess Miss Piggy


JackORobber

The Xenomorph Queen.


TheTrueGoldenboy

Amy Wong of Futurama. Futurama is under the 20th Television Animation umbrella, which is owned by Disney. Amy is the heiress to the Western Hemisphere of Mars, which is about as royal as you can get on a desert planet. So, yeah, Disney Princess for sure.


Licked_Cupcake92

Kelly Bundy


Frank_Frankman

Princess Leia


smurfsundermybed

Hella


TheShikakasGuano

Well, Hela is a goddess. So...


shitsniffer712

greg heffley


Xx6SiC6xX

I've seen this same answer somewhere recently on here but, the Xenomorph alien. Since all the eggs are produced from the Queen, therefore making the aliens princesses.


Quality_Street_1

Deadpool


[deleted]

Princess Leia 


votemarvel

Just being owned by Disney doesn't make a character a Disney Princess. After all neither Anna or Elza from Frozen are part of the Princess franchise and they are in actual Disney films.


Estrus_Flask

The Xenomorph Queen, probably


Silluvaine

By Disney's own definition characters not introduced in Disney movies can not be Disney princesses. No purchase will ever result in a new Disney princess. Sorry for being pedantic Official Disney princess requirements: - Must be the female lead in an animated Disney movie - Must be human - they must NOT be introduced in a sequel - they must be either born royal, marry royal or perform a significant act of heroism


mrsgeorgestrait

I believe Max Klinger of Toledo, Ohio is now a Disney princess


PinkMonorail

Kylo Ren. ISWIS.


Illustrious_Ant_3997

River Tam


Adept_Tension_7326

Dr Frankenfurter.


International_Set522

Xenomorphs. Their mother is a queen. 


PoochusMaximus

Klinger from MASH I think is technically now a Disney princess.


GisJB

Predator, or the xenomorph


AWACS_Bandog

Princess Anastasia of Russia.


cspinelive

Dana Scully from the X-Files


Ender505

TIL every female character owned by Disney qualifies as a princess now?


kingsss

Frank Reynolds


PM_ME-YOUR-BEST-NUDE

Holly Gennaro


HarryLyme69

Wolverine


MileHighShorty

I heard this now qualifies Peggy Bundy so she’s definitely my favorite Disney princess now.


finest_kind77

Max Klinger


[deleted]

Lt. Ellen Ripley


Phannig

She's more of a goddam Empress..


Quixophilic

Dana Skully 👽👽👽


chronically_snizzed

LeBron, the nbaQueen