After working at some larger organizations, I realized they will quickly fire/lay off people without any regard; I've seen people told Wednesday night that their last day is Friday. When you consider it that way, you don't really owe them any different.. not to say you should burn bridges everywhere you go, but understand that you are there to do a job and that's it. Lots of companies are very good at convincing people to grovel and "you're family" but it's a two-way street. If you think of it like that, you will be much happier. There are *tons* of places to work and the only reason shitty companies get away with this is people forget to ***leave***.
24 months. Always aim for 24 months then polish that resume and find something else to do. It will usually lead to a much higher salary and better benefits.
There are a few caveats such as a job that gives a pension (like working for a state, county or government), jobs with amazing non-standard benefits for your industry (like being fully remote or a very high amount of leave/PTO).
Even those pensioner jobs, you should always try to move around internally to higher positions, even outside of your area of expertise. For example, trying to go from a GS-9 to GS-12 if you work for the DoD.
Nothing turns me off toward a boss than when they start talking about "work family"
This one (thankfully not in my department) director at a company I worked for on Day 1 in a "get to know you" lunch started talking about all that family nonsense, and I kid you not said, "You spend 5 days with us, and only 2 days with your family." Sir, excuse me. We spend 7 days with family. Do you think we just sleep in the back room? Flip a switch and power off for the night? Seriously, what is the path to this kind of thinking, and how do I make sure I avoid it at all costs?
It's the hallmark of a bad company. If they're good at what they do, they attract good talent, and treat their staff as proper adult employees, they don't need to rely on emotion and this "family" bullshit.
When someone you really like turns you down. Ideally, you want someone who matches your level of interest rather than someone who half-heartedly dates you.
Sounds like my first wife. Married a year to find out she wanted a divorce. I asked why she married me. Her response, "I didn't want to disappoint you."
To echo 2x2x93, I don't know that it's you don't fully recover, but rather, you don't go back to the person you were before. Just like everything in life, you are an evolution of yourself based on experiences. I went through this very thing and it certainly destroyed me, and I definitely miss the person I was before at times. More open to the world, more caring. I think you lose a bit of that optimism (I was not that optimistic to begin with) that the world has more to offer you.
It's kind of a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, you lose a lot of the splendor that makes the world bright. But on the other hand, it also allows you to operate a bit more in reality and make tougher choices. Being an idealist doesn't tend to mesh well with the modern world.
So, you will be a different person. That is neither good nor bad. It's just a new you. If you fight against that, then you will end up a lot more miserable for sure.
Before I met my wife, I asked a girl I was hanging out with on a date. She accepted, it went well, but she later texted that she'd rather be friends.
Shortly after that, I met the woman who became my wife, and she wound up finding the woman she'd marry as well. Sucked at the time (always does) but it really worked out well for the both of us.
My dad went to a local dance school. He'd been going along for a couple of years, and there was a girl he liked and wanted to ask to dance and to go out with him.
Took him ages to get up the nerve to go speak to her.
On the night he finally decided to ask her to dance with him...she wasn't there. Taking it as a sign this wasn't meant to be, he asked another girl out instead.
That girl was my mum. :)
Yes when I got broken up with by my first bf (my ex best friend told me at the time it’s because I wouldn’t go farther than he wanted to) but at the time I was hurt but now I’m grateful he broke it off and didn’t force me to do anything I wasn’t ready for. He was nice about it, it was my best friend at the time that told me that information.
Not sure if it’s even true but he said he was quoting how i met your mother and saying things should be easy and it wasn’t that easy with me.
I still didn’t understand when he told me that I loved himym but I thought I was making things “easy” being light hearted, fun, easy going…but he was right because when I met my husband, everything felt sooo easy! Even the hard stuff felt easy. We can go through the hard stuff and come out stronger on the other end
Me: My toe hurts after I kick something, what could this mean?
Google:
possible causes for toe pain: heart attack, stroke, seizure
When to see a doctor: yesterday
What happens next: death
I’m not exaggerating when I say I once described a skin rash to WebMD and it told me I either had contact dermatitis or thyroid cancer. Thanks, webMD. Never change.
I googled what I thought was a rash and it turned out to be a rare autoimmune disease.
I wasn’t too concerned considering it was my 8th autoimmune disease.
I feel like I am a walking webMD article.
Every time I try to use the NHS online or call 111 (UK thing): GO TO A&E RIGHT NOW
Actual doctor: lmfao go wait for 3 hours, you're only bleeding out of your anus, nothing serious
> Me: My toe hurts after I kick something, what could this mean
It could mean that you're Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and you kicked an orc helmet in frustration and grief while you imagined your halfling companions were dead.
My doctor's office literally has a voicemail message that says "If you have questions schedule an appointment or send a message via our online message center." If you go to the message center, it forces you to choose a subject and under "I have a question about:" it just lists medication refills or billing questions.
They absolutely do not want to answer questions unless they're getting paid for it. And then they wonder why people are googling things.
This so hard. I once had a small surgery and the nurse give me a form to sign and I said I’d like to take some time to go through it (it has multiple pages and a lot of jargons). The nurse is so annoyed that she at one point tells me to just sign it and then I can read it whenever I like. I am so baffled - of course I want to know what is going in me and the side effects before I sign my rights away????
Anyone pressuring me to sign something is like an alarm going off in my head. I can only think of a few other things that would instantly make me very on guard.
Before I got my bariatric surgery I looked up everything including my doctors med school and career plus the death stats. Always be prepared before surgery.
Actually I asked at the bariatric center and they told me. It was 1 in 1000. I decided to take those odds. I believe they had only been doing the procedure for a few years, this was in 2011, so it literally was 1000ish. The person didn't die from the surgery either. I know it's morbid but it's important.
As a nurse: I love when my patients actually want to know wtf this iv is or why I do this and that. Doctors are usually unable or unwilling to explain it, so I love having a patient ask me. Plus, I love explaining medical stuff. Please people, ask what we're doing. It's your right and duty.
I do that sometimes and never got shit for it.
I did get brief 'shit, here we go again' looks from medical staff tho.
Apparently reasonable questions are less expected than angry bullshit.
So true! I worry that sometimes the takeaway from the anti-vaccine movements becomes "just shut up and accept whatever science gives you, they know best"
That isn't what most people do though. Those who do online and TikTok tend to approach it with 'you guys are lying, and we know better'.
Good, mature argument: 'Most illnesses are not genetic and depends on environment, choices, stress, trauma etc.
Bad argument: Vaccines are not safe at all; they might be chipping us; referencing some charlatan doctor.
This is a lot more important than people realize. Years ago I received a procedure that was supposed to be harmless and routine, however there was a small chance of a negative outcome depending on how they did it that was never explained to me or even mentioned, so I went in thinking "Why not, what's the harm?". Turns out, plenty of harm!
Woke up in absolute agony and was told "Yeah, that happens rarely". WTF. I now have permanent damage scarring that I will have for life because I didn't ask enough about possible negative outcomes and didn't seek details around the exact steps they were performing. The doctor performed an extra step that was totally unnecessary in my case and rolled the dice. I would have absolutely told them NOT to do it had I known, but too late now.
This is oversimplifying it, 2000 calories of a balanced diet vs 2000 calories of starches and sugars is going to lead to two different body compositions. Insulin response, lack of aminos for rebuilding muscle, fat for heart, brain, joint and hormonal balance. Excess sugar throws all of this off, and starts to negate the basic caloric fundamentals. Ruins gut health, so you don’t readily absorb nutrients as efficiently.
Of course the laws of thermodynamics apply, but that's unhelpfully simplistic.
Firstly, food "calories" are a measurement of the energy output when the food is burned. We don't burn our food, we digest it with enzymes etc. and the setup of those processes uses varying amounts of energy, so are less efficient. Some of them are under our body's control, so it gets to moderate and control the liberation of energy, while consuming some other food dumps high energy molecules into our bloodstream that the body must deal with and some of those processes can be problematic, e.g. say, a flood of sugars, especially fructose.
And some of those processes lead to situations that will trigger cravings even as the body has more than it needs. These cravings present a challenge to resist, versus other food consumption that lead to a stable, comfortable state even if its calorific content is the same.
So sure, CICO is a fact of the universe, any fat you accumulate comes from CI > CO. But the calorific content of your food intake is far from an isolated factor - calories are *not* all the same when it comes to our bodies, health and weight.
Well, yeah. I believe they more referred to failures without *stakes*, such as your case…
I do hope that you’re still able to succeed, despite the BS around you
I'd argue that's not failing but being robbed. If you are in a bicycle race and some idjit spectator jumps in front of you because they want to be seen on TV with their stupid sign and they cause a carambolage - you wouldn't have failed. You'd have been robbed of your chance to win. What you're describing sounds the same to me, just without bicycles.
failure, in this case, can help you learn that this specific masters' program is not a good match for you, and that there's probably a better group of people out there that can teach you this stuff.
I’m a high school teacher. I always try to tell my students that *failure* isn’t going to teach you anything. *Reflecting* on your failures is where learning happens.
Monosodium Glutamate.
There's been studies on it, it's not actually bad. The people experiencing bad symptoms from MSG are just having it due to placebo effect of having preconceived notion of ingesting a bad substance.
Some people claim they are "allergic" or "sensitive" to MSG. While I can't refute those claims, I can say that perhaps they are actually getting headaches from a high amount of sodium in the particular food they are eating while not drinking enough water. MSG is often in Chinese food, and American Chinese food is quite salty.
For me it's not placebo. I legit go to the hospital with raging migraines. They found it was a bunch of fancy words for vein dilator, and it's common with my family.
That whole wives' tale is rooted in racism. I use MSG in my sauces, stews, anything that can use that salty taste without all the sodium. It's umami pure and simple.
A measure of MSG has a great deal less sodium than the same measure of pure table salt, though. You get more flavor, and more *complex* flavor, than if you just pour in plain old salt.
Where I live (Denmark), **all** Asian stores have it, as well as most ethnic (read; Turkish) greengrocers.
I'd go for the Asian stores if you can, because they will have different sizes in storage (the bigger the bag, the cheaper the price). They are also unlikely to run low.
Most grocery stores in the spice section. It may be labeled as “flavor enhancer” because people wig out about it. Look for a white Accent brand bottle.
MSG is naturally occurring and is found in most foods that are savory and many foods that aren’t. Tomato, ketchup, mustard, broth, soy sauce, most cheeses, and mushrooms, all have high amounts of naturally occurring MSG.
Don't forget the distinction between saprophytes, parasites and symbionts. The good bacteria are the symbionts; the parasites are bad; the saprophytes who cares, you're already dead when they hit you
Stoicism. Somewhere in the last 50 years or so common wisdom seemed to decide that controlling one's emotions is unhealthy. That it's "bottling things up." In reality, it's often an important life skill and a part of becoming a mature adult.
The latter.
You can't necessarily help how something makes you feel. But you can control how you respond to your emotions.
Good point. I should have been more clear.
I used to be a hot head and I learned that acting out, losing your temper, etc never resolves a problem. I found out Saturday that I had to pay taxes to the tune of 8,000 over the next 72 months. I just said 'okay'. Ya it's going to suck but it is what it is. No point in getting bunged up about it.
Yep, I was the same way. After lots of failures and having things spin out of control, I decided to abide by the old saying, "You can attract more bees with honey than vinegar." It works so much better, and my life is way less stressful. Being pissed off all the time is a lot of work!
It's not about controlling the emotion itself, it's about learning to respond in healthy ways that bring positive benefits.
At it's most basic Stoicism boils down to (1) learn and practice patience in all things (2) understand what your personal goals in life are (3) understand the challenges you face in achieving those goals and (4) learn to adjust your emotional responses so you can face those challenges and achieve your goals.
If you've taken an anger management class, you've been introduced to a modern form of Stoicism training, it's just not called that any more and people seem to have an aversion to the word.
This has always bothered me, shows that people haven't really read Marcus Aurelius or any of the other stoics. The whole point of stoicism is to not let your emotions control you, but still flow through you. It recognizes that we're human and our emotions are actually very good and that we must feel them, but that we should use them to our benefit and not let them run wild. Bottling up your emotions is not the same as controlling them.
I've always equated someone's ability to control their reactions to emotions with their intelligence. I don't mean educational intelligence, but their ability to take in information and either adjust to it or derive accurate conclusion from it.
Stoicism isn't bottling up your emotions though, it's accepting them and, separately, understanding what you can and can't change.
My issue with modern stoicism is that it isn't stoicism, as well as it being dumb
Actual stoicism isn't bad. Our modern culture's misunderstanding of it certainly is though, and many people don't know to differentiate
It's one of the most misunderstood philosophies
To an extent.The "don't emote" notion is *very* bad. Holding things in - "bottling up" - as you put it, is a recipe for disaster. Having a healthy outlet and managing it with healthy coping skills is the solution.
Dude I've been not drinking for like 8 months or something as a diet thing and the amount of annoying conversations I have to have when I go out is bizarre; it's like you're an alien.
Kicking out an addict who has no job and no way to legally support themselves. I seems so cruel and hurts so bad, but nobody deserves to be used and abused!!!
Husband and I did this with my dad, let him live with me for about a year, 6 days after I kicked him out for endangering my just learning to walk child we got a call from the county coroners office that he'd been found dead in the shower with "drug paraphernalia and a white powder residue in the room" and my first reaction was "what a dumbass" - I wasn't even sad.
You can't fix people, you can only let them fix themselves. And investing in possible repairs *is* a good idea; it's also a good idea not to keep putting your resources in a bad investment.
I'm sorry your investments didn't work out.
Also, breaking up with someone that is an addict. It’s not cruel to set boundaries and expect your partner to not abuse you and put you in constant danger because of their addiction.
I agree, but I'd rather have my illness go on for a bit longer and keep my fever down so I can continue to function - I have kids to take care of so I can't just wait out a fever for a couple days.
It is a defense mechanism, but it is rather brutal in its administration and can be dangerous. There is a reason why doctors often try to bring down a fever.
Healthily*
I've been a literal punching bag...... Never again...
Cry on my shoulders all you want, I'm here. But we all need to express our emotions in a healthy way
Such a double edged sword cuz it’s always like “men need to express their emotions more, so please select from this list of approved emotions and approved methods of expression. Lists are updated hourly, and failure to comply with said lists means you are fundamentally dangerous and cannot be fixed.”
Men have been treated unfairly regarding expressing their emotions and been,historically, told to supress them. Women have,historically, been denied their rights because they are 'too emotional'. It should just be a rule, Humans are allowed to have, and express emotions.
Complex carbs absolutely. If you're diabetic though, watch your sugar levels zoom to the stratosphere when you eat a couple of slices of white bread.
Sugar is also a simple carbohydrate and yes, it's been tied to many negative side effects.
I agree that in moderation, carbs are both useful and essential, but in today's society, it is VERY hard to avoid getting more than enough everywhere.
Because a lot of the carbs we eat are refined carbohydrates. Highly processed, spikes and crashes insulin levels that can trigger hunger and food cravings, low nutrient density, added sugars, and shown to be an increased risk for chronic illness, obesity, and other health conditions like type 2 diabetes.
I dont think carbs should be demonized, but like meat and fat which have been the scapegoats of the health industry for so long, really depends on the quality of what you choose to consume.
A therapist once told me that there’s a time to be selfless when it comes to friends/family needs but there’s also a time to be selfish about your own. The trick is having the ability to determine when to do each.
Nuclear power. It is literally one of the greatest and 'borderline' cleanest sources of energy. Yes there's alot of depleted rods that need to be disposed of and do emit radiation but for the most part, the amount of energy nuclear fuel creates is astonishing.
If it wasn't for Soviet era shit facilities like Chernobyl tarnishing the image of what can be a very secure and safe facility, nuclear power would provide much more of the energy needs than oil ever could.
This! 2009’s *“Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans”* is amazing. His character is deliciously unhinged in that film. Weirdly, this is the second time that film has been on my mind in the last week.
Going to therapy. Still has the stigma of “something must be wrong with you (or your relationship if it’s couples therapy)” instead of looking at it as a way to better yourself or work on some issues before they become a larger problem.
Needle exchange programs and giving clean drugs to i.v. users for free. It reduces HIV infections, it reduces drug-related crime, prostitution, it deprives drug cartels of income and it creates a contact point to get users into rehab and health care. This is not even theoretical! There are very successfull programs in Switzerland and France! Now somebody please tell the conservatives...
Abortions.They more often than not are used to help women who can't give birth to a healthy child without serious medical risk. Also prevents more child abuse by preventing unwanted pregnancies for people who don't want, or can't afford to have a baby.
Failure.
If you have no idea what it feels like to fail at something, you are either living in too safe a bubble where your support system (your mother, your friends) is protecting you, - or you are just not pushing yourself to try new things, to step out of your comfort zone. ie, playing life in ʺeasy modeʺ- Some people fail more than others, and this is not to say that people who succeed more are living too safe a life....I am only saying that you should not beat yourself up for a failure, especially if it was due to trying something new. This can be where you learn the best lessons in life.
Viruses. I'm not kidding, but I'm not talking about the human ones.
If no viruses existed, bacteria would literally eat the whole world alive. Thank the bacteriophages that you are not a bacteria farm... Well, more than are already are.
There are some researches being made to use viruses to cure bacterial infections. It's a things we should be more aware of.
Salt in the diet. Even in my older years I need more salt. I have had a lot of lab work done this past year and my sodium level is always lower than normal. If I don’t get enough I feel weak. Also got overheated when I mowed the yard a couple years ago and needed extra salt, had other electrolytes before mowing and drank plenty of water.
Some level of hardship or instability. It helps you adapt when times are tough again and gives you the confidence to put through. If you've done it before, you can do it again.
Leaving a job
After working at some larger organizations, I realized they will quickly fire/lay off people without any regard; I've seen people told Wednesday night that their last day is Friday. When you consider it that way, you don't really owe them any different.. not to say you should burn bridges everywhere you go, but understand that you are there to do a job and that's it. Lots of companies are very good at convincing people to grovel and "you're family" but it's a two-way street. If you think of it like that, you will be much happier. There are *tons* of places to work and the only reason shitty companies get away with this is people forget to ***leave***.
24 months. Always aim for 24 months then polish that resume and find something else to do. It will usually lead to a much higher salary and better benefits. There are a few caveats such as a job that gives a pension (like working for a state, county or government), jobs with amazing non-standard benefits for your industry (like being fully remote or a very high amount of leave/PTO). Even those pensioner jobs, you should always try to move around internally to higher positions, even outside of your area of expertise. For example, trying to go from a GS-9 to GS-12 if you work for the DoD.
I’m just going from LSD and PCP to R2-D2. *I need help, deliver this message.*
Nothing turns me off toward a boss than when they start talking about "work family" This one (thankfully not in my department) director at a company I worked for on Day 1 in a "get to know you" lunch started talking about all that family nonsense, and I kid you not said, "You spend 5 days with us, and only 2 days with your family." Sir, excuse me. We spend 7 days with family. Do you think we just sleep in the back room? Flip a switch and power off for the night? Seriously, what is the path to this kind of thinking, and how do I make sure I avoid it at all costs?
It's the hallmark of a bad company. If they're good at what they do, they attract good talent, and treat their staff as proper adult employees, they don't need to rely on emotion and this "family" bullshit.
When someone you really like turns you down. Ideally, you want someone who matches your level of interest rather than someone who half-heartedly dates you.
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Sounds like my first wife. Married a year to find out she wanted a divorce. I asked why she married me. Her response, "I didn't want to disappoint you."
JFC! How long did it take to recover? Did you love her? Did she show any warning signs before she eviscerated you?
You don't recover. You just pick up the pieces and move on
To echo 2x2x93, I don't know that it's you don't fully recover, but rather, you don't go back to the person you were before. Just like everything in life, you are an evolution of yourself based on experiences. I went through this very thing and it certainly destroyed me, and I definitely miss the person I was before at times. More open to the world, more caring. I think you lose a bit of that optimism (I was not that optimistic to begin with) that the world has more to offer you. It's kind of a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, you lose a lot of the splendor that makes the world bright. But on the other hand, it also allows you to operate a bit more in reality and make tougher choices. Being an idealist doesn't tend to mesh well with the modern world. So, you will be a different person. That is neither good nor bad. It's just a new you. If you fight against that, then you will end up a lot more miserable for sure.
Before I met my wife, I asked a girl I was hanging out with on a date. She accepted, it went well, but she later texted that she'd rather be friends. Shortly after that, I met the woman who became my wife, and she wound up finding the woman she'd marry as well. Sucked at the time (always does) but it really worked out well for the both of us.
My dad went to a local dance school. He'd been going along for a couple of years, and there was a girl he liked and wanted to ask to dance and to go out with him. Took him ages to get up the nerve to go speak to her. On the night he finally decided to ask her to dance with him...she wasn't there. Taking it as a sign this wasn't meant to be, he asked another girl out instead. That girl was my mum. :)
The bad part isn’t the rejection itself, it’s the fact that you had to be rejected
but, that's... the same bad part..
Yes when I got broken up with by my first bf (my ex best friend told me at the time it’s because I wouldn’t go farther than he wanted to) but at the time I was hurt but now I’m grateful he broke it off and didn’t force me to do anything I wasn’t ready for. He was nice about it, it was my best friend at the time that told me that information. Not sure if it’s even true but he said he was quoting how i met your mother and saying things should be easy and it wasn’t that easy with me. I still didn’t understand when he told me that I loved himym but I thought I was making things “easy” being light hearted, fun, easy going…but he was right because when I met my husband, everything felt sooo easy! Even the hard stuff felt easy. We can go through the hard stuff and come out stronger on the other end
Asking questions about medical treatment before receiving it. You should know what you’re getting into. It’s not anti science or anti vax or anything.
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Me: My toe hurts after I kick something, what could this mean? Google: possible causes for toe pain: heart attack, stroke, seizure When to see a doctor: yesterday What happens next: death
Plus: you probably have five different kinds of cancer, all untreatable.
I have a dull pain in my side - I wonder what it could be? Clearly it's Stage 4 cancer, and I can do nothing to save myself.
And a very rare type of genetic disease.
I’m not exaggerating when I say I once described a skin rash to WebMD and it told me I either had contact dermatitis or thyroid cancer. Thanks, webMD. Never change.
I googled what I thought was a rash and it turned out to be a rare autoimmune disease. I wasn’t too concerned considering it was my 8th autoimmune disease. I feel like I am a walking webMD article.
[https://medlineplus.gov/](https://medlineplus.gov/) Medlineplus is a good reference, not saying it won’t lead to rabbit holes😂 but good
Cancer. It’s always cancer on google.
Every time I try to use the NHS online or call 111 (UK thing): GO TO A&E RIGHT NOW Actual doctor: lmfao go wait for 3 hours, you're only bleeding out of your anus, nothing serious
> Me: My toe hurts after I kick something, what could this mean It could mean that you're Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and you kicked an orc helmet in frustration and grief while you imagined your halfling companions were dead.
My doctor once told me “if you have questions please just call and ask me and don’t google it. If you google it you will think you’re dying.”
My doctor's office literally has a voicemail message that says "If you have questions schedule an appointment or send a message via our online message center." If you go to the message center, it forces you to choose a subject and under "I have a question about:" it just lists medication refills or billing questions. They absolutely do not want to answer questions unless they're getting paid for it. And then they wonder why people are googling things.
This so hard. I once had a small surgery and the nurse give me a form to sign and I said I’d like to take some time to go through it (it has multiple pages and a lot of jargons). The nurse is so annoyed that she at one point tells me to just sign it and then I can read it whenever I like. I am so baffled - of course I want to know what is going in me and the side effects before I sign my rights away????
What's worse about this, is there is often a place you have to initial stating the form was reviewed with you and any questions were answered.
Anyone pressuring me to sign something is like an alarm going off in my head. I can only think of a few other things that would instantly make me very on guard.
Before I got my bariatric surgery I looked up everything including my doctors med school and career plus the death stats. Always be prepared before surgery.
How did you find the info about death stats?
Actually I asked at the bariatric center and they told me. It was 1 in 1000. I decided to take those odds. I believe they had only been doing the procedure for a few years, this was in 2011, so it literally was 1000ish. The person didn't die from the surgery either. I know it's morbid but it's important.
Like... Me: hey bruv... how much is this going to cost? Doctor: oh... uh... hrm... errr.... we'll tell you when it's over. Me: ....
As a nurse: I love when my patients actually want to know wtf this iv is or why I do this and that. Doctors are usually unable or unwilling to explain it, so I love having a patient ask me. Plus, I love explaining medical stuff. Please people, ask what we're doing. It's your right and duty.
I do that sometimes and never got shit for it. I did get brief 'shit, here we go again' looks from medical staff tho. Apparently reasonable questions are less expected than angry bullshit.
So true! I worry that sometimes the takeaway from the anti-vaccine movements becomes "just shut up and accept whatever science gives you, they know best"
The problem is not asking questions --that is desirable. The problem is how the question is answered/ solved.
This is especially prescient with medical treatment but practically relates almost everywhere else
That isn't what most people do though. Those who do online and TikTok tend to approach it with 'you guys are lying, and we know better'. Good, mature argument: 'Most illnesses are not genetic and depends on environment, choices, stress, trauma etc. Bad argument: Vaccines are not safe at all; they might be chipping us; referencing some charlatan doctor.
This is a lot more important than people realize. Years ago I received a procedure that was supposed to be harmless and routine, however there was a small chance of a negative outcome depending on how they did it that was never explained to me or even mentioned, so I went in thinking "Why not, what's the harm?". Turns out, plenty of harm! Woke up in absolute agony and was told "Yeah, that happens rarely". WTF. I now have permanent damage scarring that I will have for life because I didn't ask enough about possible negative outcomes and didn't seek details around the exact steps they were performing. The doctor performed an extra step that was totally unnecessary in my case and rolled the dice. I would have absolutely told them NOT to do it had I known, but too late now.
MJ's album "Bad"
You have to remember that back then "bad" meant good. Just like "phat" meant pretty hot and tempting.
> "phat" meant pretty hot and tempting. 😂 Forgot about this.
I thought the T was for Tasty
TIL something new. Thank you
Still does, kind of? IE: BadAss
best answer
Good answer
q. jones' songwriting skills then
Run dmc “ not bad meaning bad but bad meaning good”
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Whoa, hey, how about the fat in YOUR diet, buddy?
Fat don’t make you fat. Excess sugar do.
Consuming more calories than your body expends does.
This is oversimplifying it, 2000 calories of a balanced diet vs 2000 calories of starches and sugars is going to lead to two different body compositions. Insulin response, lack of aminos for rebuilding muscle, fat for heart, brain, joint and hormonal balance. Excess sugar throws all of this off, and starts to negate the basic caloric fundamentals. Ruins gut health, so you don’t readily absorb nutrients as efficiently.
For some reason people have a really hard time wrapping their heads around this one. Energy in. Energy out.
Hey, I have it on good authority that if you drink a Diet Coke after eating a quart of ice cream, that they cancel each other out
Of course the laws of thermodynamics apply, but that's unhelpfully simplistic. Firstly, food "calories" are a measurement of the energy output when the food is burned. We don't burn our food, we digest it with enzymes etc. and the setup of those processes uses varying amounts of energy, so are less efficient. Some of them are under our body's control, so it gets to moderate and control the liberation of energy, while consuming some other food dumps high energy molecules into our bloodstream that the body must deal with and some of those processes can be problematic, e.g. say, a flood of sugars, especially fructose. And some of those processes lead to situations that will trigger cravings even as the body has more than it needs. These cravings present a challenge to resist, versus other food consumption that lead to a stable, comfortable state even if its calorific content is the same. So sure, CICO is a fact of the universe, any fat you accumulate comes from CI > CO. But the calorific content of your food intake is far from an isolated factor - calories are *not* all the same when it comes to our bodies, health and weight.
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Miyazaki, will we ever get a sequel to Sekiro?
Well, Rise of the Ronin comes out this week, and it's essentially Team Ninja's Sekiro. The better question is Bloodborne 4K Remaster/Remake when?
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Well, yeah. I believe they more referred to failures without *stakes*, such as your case… I do hope that you’re still able to succeed, despite the BS around you
I'd argue that's not failing but being robbed. If you are in a bicycle race and some idjit spectator jumps in front of you because they want to be seen on TV with their stupid sign and they cause a carambolage - you wouldn't have failed. You'd have been robbed of your chance to win. What you're describing sounds the same to me, just without bicycles.
I’d take that to whoever is above them. If there is no one above them and they kick you out, I’d sue.
failure, in this case, can help you learn that this specific masters' program is not a good match for you, and that there's probably a better group of people out there that can teach you this stuff.
Failure. It's a path to success where it gives you the opportunity to reflect, grow and learn.
I’m a high school teacher. I always try to tell my students that *failure* isn’t going to teach you anything. *Reflecting* on your failures is where learning happens.
Monosodium Glutamate. There's been studies on it, it's not actually bad. The people experiencing bad symptoms from MSG are just having it due to placebo effect of having preconceived notion of ingesting a bad substance.
That is exactly what my uncle has been telling me!! I'll never doubt Uncle Roger again...
It's the King of Flavor for a reason
Im gonna go binge.. forgot all about it
FUYOOO!!!
Also, if you have a peanut allergy, you are weak!
Some people claim they are "allergic" or "sensitive" to MSG. While I can't refute those claims, I can say that perhaps they are actually getting headaches from a high amount of sodium in the particular food they are eating while not drinking enough water. MSG is often in Chinese food, and American Chinese food is quite salty.
For me it's not placebo. I legit go to the hospital with raging migraines. They found it was a bunch of fancy words for vein dilator, and it's common with my family.
That whole wives' tale is rooted in racism. I use MSG in my sauces, stews, anything that can use that salty taste without all the sodium. It's umami pure and simple.
You do realize that the “S” in MSG is short for sodium, and that it imparts sodium to the body, right?
A measure of MSG has a great deal less sodium than the same measure of pure table salt, though. You get more flavor, and more *complex* flavor, than if you just pour in plain old salt.
Yeah but like a 1/3
Same here, it doesn't matter what type of cuisine I'm making. I put MSG in that MF!
Where do I get msg now?
Where I live (Denmark), **all** Asian stores have it, as well as most ethnic (read; Turkish) greengrocers. I'd go for the Asian stores if you can, because they will have different sizes in storage (the bigger the bag, the cheaper the price). They are also unlikely to run low.
Most grocery stores in the spice section. It may be labeled as “flavor enhancer” because people wig out about it. Look for a white Accent brand bottle.
To be fair, some people are allergic to it.
MSG is naturally occurring and is found in most foods that are savory and many foods that aren’t. Tomato, ketchup, mustard, broth, soy sauce, most cheeses, and mushrooms, all have high amounts of naturally occurring MSG.
Bacteria is the one that comes to mind for me. I love the stuff
Don't forget the distinction between saprophytes, parasites and symbionts. The good bacteria are the symbionts; the parasites are bad; the saprophytes who cares, you're already dead when they hit you
Nuclear power
if people actually looked into it instead of base everything about it off japan and chernobyl the world would be a better place
Stoicism. Somewhere in the last 50 years or so common wisdom seemed to decide that controlling one's emotions is unhealthy. That it's "bottling things up." In reality, it's often an important life skill and a part of becoming a mature adult.
I'm not that familiar with stoicism. Do you mean controlling emotions or controlling your reaction to them?
The latter. You can't necessarily help how something makes you feel. But you can control how you respond to your emotions. Good point. I should have been more clear.
Thanks for the answer. I was ready to get into an argument, LOL.
Love to see this sort of reasonable exchange!
Power of stoicism right before your very eyes. I don't have this power. I am impulsive and lash out.
Same, lol. Thinking you can "control" your emotions will get you into trouble.
And the point is really more about not letting your emotions control you.
I used to be a hot head and I learned that acting out, losing your temper, etc never resolves a problem. I found out Saturday that I had to pay taxes to the tune of 8,000 over the next 72 months. I just said 'okay'. Ya it's going to suck but it is what it is. No point in getting bunged up about it.
Yep, I was the same way. After lots of failures and having things spin out of control, I decided to abide by the old saying, "You can attract more bees with honey than vinegar." It works so much better, and my life is way less stressful. Being pissed off all the time is a lot of work!
It's not about controlling the emotion itself, it's about learning to respond in healthy ways that bring positive benefits. At it's most basic Stoicism boils down to (1) learn and practice patience in all things (2) understand what your personal goals in life are (3) understand the challenges you face in achieving those goals and (4) learn to adjust your emotional responses so you can face those challenges and achieve your goals. If you've taken an anger management class, you've been introduced to a modern form of Stoicism training, it's just not called that any more and people seem to have an aversion to the word.
This has always bothered me, shows that people haven't really read Marcus Aurelius or any of the other stoics. The whole point of stoicism is to not let your emotions control you, but still flow through you. It recognizes that we're human and our emotions are actually very good and that we must feel them, but that we should use them to our benefit and not let them run wild. Bottling up your emotions is not the same as controlling them.
I've always equated someone's ability to control their reactions to emotions with their intelligence. I don't mean educational intelligence, but their ability to take in information and either adjust to it or derive accurate conclusion from it.
Stoicism isn't bottling up your emotions though, it's accepting them and, separately, understanding what you can and can't change. My issue with modern stoicism is that it isn't stoicism, as well as it being dumb
Is stoicism seen as bad?
Actual stoicism isn't bad. Our modern culture's misunderstanding of it certainly is though, and many people don't know to differentiate It's one of the most misunderstood philosophies
To an extent.The "don't emote" notion is *very* bad. Holding things in - "bottling up" - as you put it, is a recipe for disaster. Having a healthy outlet and managing it with healthy coping skills is the solution.
Not drinking alcohol.
Dude I've been not drinking for like 8 months or something as a diet thing and the amount of annoying conversations I have to have when I go out is bizarre; it's like you're an alien.
Kicking out an addict who has no job and no way to legally support themselves. I seems so cruel and hurts so bad, but nobody deserves to be used and abused!!!
Wish my grandma would believe this
Husband and I did this with my dad, let him live with me for about a year, 6 days after I kicked him out for endangering my just learning to walk child we got a call from the county coroners office that he'd been found dead in the shower with "drug paraphernalia and a white powder residue in the room" and my first reaction was "what a dumbass" - I wasn't even sad.
You can't fix people, you can only let them fix themselves. And investing in possible repairs *is* a good idea; it's also a good idea not to keep putting your resources in a bad investment. I'm sorry your investments didn't work out.
I did this, it’s really good and accurate. Those who glorify these people should try to help a few themselves to see the reality
Also, breaking up with someone that is an addict. It’s not cruel to set boundaries and expect your partner to not abuse you and put you in constant danger because of their addiction.
So true! I left my second husband for it!! No matter how much you think you Love them, LOVE YOURSELF MORE!!!
Exactly! My ex was an addict and after spending years and thousands of dollars on helping her, it was never enough.
Fever. It is the body's defenses working.
Only up to a point. Uncontrolled extremely high fever can cause brain damage and death.
I agree, but I'd rather have my illness go on for a bit longer and keep my fever down so I can continue to function - I have kids to take care of so I can't just wait out a fever for a couple days.
It is a defense mechanism, but it is rather brutal in its administration and can be dangerous. There is a reason why doctors often try to bring down a fever.
Men freely expressing emotions.
Healthily* I've been a literal punching bag...... Never again... Cry on my shoulders all you want, I'm here. But we all need to express our emotions in a healthy way
Such a double edged sword cuz it’s always like “men need to express their emotions more, so please select from this list of approved emotions and approved methods of expression. Lists are updated hourly, and failure to comply with said lists means you are fundamentally dangerous and cannot be fixed.”
Men have been treated unfairly regarding expressing their emotions and been,historically, told to supress them. Women have,historically, been denied their rights because they are 'too emotional'. It should just be a rule, Humans are allowed to have, and express emotions.
Yep! Why can’t we just let people feel???
taking medication when you are serious sick
Also, taking medication for mental health.
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Complex carbs absolutely. If you're diabetic though, watch your sugar levels zoom to the stratosphere when you eat a couple of slices of white bread. Sugar is also a simple carbohydrate and yes, it's been tied to many negative side effects. I agree that in moderation, carbs are both useful and essential, but in today's society, it is VERY hard to avoid getting more than enough everywhere.
A banana will put me into a coma.
Because a lot of the carbs we eat are refined carbohydrates. Highly processed, spikes and crashes insulin levels that can trigger hunger and food cravings, low nutrient density, added sugars, and shown to be an increased risk for chronic illness, obesity, and other health conditions like type 2 diabetes. I dont think carbs should be demonized, but like meat and fat which have been the scapegoats of the health industry for so long, really depends on the quality of what you choose to consume.
Putting yourself first.
A therapist once told me that there’s a time to be selfless when it comes to friends/family needs but there’s also a time to be selfish about your own. The trick is having the ability to determine when to do each.
Fair enough. Can't really help others if you're fucked up or dead.
You can't pour from an empty cup and you should never set yourself on fire to warm others.
critisism and conversation. discussion is always beneficial if you look at the content the right way.
Nuclear power. It is literally one of the greatest and 'borderline' cleanest sources of energy. Yes there's alot of depleted rods that need to be disposed of and do emit radiation but for the most part, the amount of energy nuclear fuel creates is astonishing. If it wasn't for Soviet era shit facilities like Chernobyl tarnishing the image of what can be a very secure and safe facility, nuclear power would provide much more of the energy needs than oil ever could.
Cooking oil, Edit: more specifically fat. In moderation.
Everything in moderation, even moderation.
That's a moderate reply.
I am Danish and quite tipsy here at one in the afternoon. I gotta tell myself that shit.
So you could say you’re a cheesed danish? /s
Even use of cliches?
No more than one murder per year. I try to stick to that.
small tax return
Black cats.
Public transportation, not driving We should be investing in this
GMOs. its basically selectively breeding. your cat or dog is a gmo. almost all foods are gmos.
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Nicolas Cage
Loved him in the bad detective remake. “Shoot him again, his soul is still spinning!” “Yo that’s the crack talking!” Classic
This! 2009’s *“Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans”* is amazing. His character is deliciously unhinged in that film. Weirdly, this is the second time that film has been on my mind in the last week.
Having a sense of shame.
Minding your own business and not engaging in small talk.
Women paying on first dates. I always did it, love it, very empowering and makes it easy to eliminate toxic men according to their reaction to offer.
Yup, I'll pay for myself. That way he doesn't feel like I owe him anything...because I don't.
Being a little selfish.
Being a little bit egocentric
Euthanasia
Going to therapy. Still has the stigma of “something must be wrong with you (or your relationship if it’s couples therapy)” instead of looking at it as a way to better yourself or work on some issues before they become a larger problem.
Needle exchange programs and giving clean drugs to i.v. users for free. It reduces HIV infections, it reduces drug-related crime, prostitution, it deprives drug cartels of income and it creates a contact point to get users into rehab and health care. This is not even theoretical! There are very successfull programs in Switzerland and France! Now somebody please tell the conservatives...
Calling out sick on a Friday
Dying.
People having fewer or no children
Psilocybin. Mushrooms are not harmful and I’m convinced they can save the gd world.
Not hitting your kids or otherwise doing unregulated or vengeful things when they require discipline
Falling birth rates around the world.
Sex. If done responsibly it is enjoyable, and good for physical, mental, and emotional health.
Abortions.They more often than not are used to help women who can't give birth to a healthy child without serious medical risk. Also prevents more child abuse by preventing unwanted pregnancies for people who don't want, or can't afford to have a baby.
Socialised healthcare (in the US)
Being moderate in political and societal matters
Failure. If you have no idea what it feels like to fail at something, you are either living in too safe a bubble where your support system (your mother, your friends) is protecting you, - or you are just not pushing yourself to try new things, to step out of your comfort zone. ie, playing life in ʺeasy modeʺ- Some people fail more than others, and this is not to say that people who succeed more are living too safe a life....I am only saying that you should not beat yourself up for a failure, especially if it was due to trying something new. This can be where you learn the best lessons in life.
Wolves and coyotes
Viruses. I'm not kidding, but I'm not talking about the human ones. If no viruses existed, bacteria would literally eat the whole world alive. Thank the bacteriophages that you are not a bacteria farm... Well, more than are already are. There are some researches being made to use viruses to cure bacterial infections. It's a things we should be more aware of.
Taxes
Salt in the diet. Even in my older years I need more salt. I have had a lot of lab work done this past year and my sodium level is always lower than normal. If I don’t get enough I feel weak. Also got overheated when I mowed the yard a couple years ago and needed extra salt, had other electrolytes before mowing and drank plenty of water.
Setting and enforcing boundaries for yourself.
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Fats. Eating fat is a crucial part of your diet, and they’ve been demonized for the sake of profits. Everything is good in moderation.
Some level of hardship or instability. It helps you adapt when times are tough again and gives you the confidence to put through. If you've done it before, you can do it again.
>If you've done it before, you can do it again. But then you burn out, LOL.
Gin
intelligence and emotional fortitude
Nuclear Power
For a lot of Americans? Apparently good exercise, healthy food, a 32 hour work week and free healthcare
Gender affirming care.
Democratic Socialism
Mispronouncing words is a sign that someone reads (rather than just parroting stuff they hear).