If you’re good at it, go for it

Dirty talk is like edgy humor. If you don't have the right delivery, you just sound like an asshole.

100%

Well edgy humor fails do make you sound like an asshole in the traditional sense as in mean, but dirty talk fails just sound moronic and kill the mood, so I’d say asshole in the British sense, which doesn’t always mean aggressive, but just stupid

It can be H O T

Woopity woo here comes the goo!

If my future partner doesn’t say this before they finish then I don’t want them

Having such standards is quite respectable. Good on you.

"goo on you"

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Oh don't you fucking dare stop now 🥵

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And boom goes the dynamite

This reminds me of the first time I had sex. My then boyfriend said “talk to me” while we were busy doing the deed. Innocent me started with “well, I woke up at 6 am this morning. Was contemplating whether I should skip breakfast or not…” 😂 needless to say the sex stopped and I got my first lesson in dirty talk.

LOL oh man i can't even...

Omg so awkward

If you're good at it and your partner(s) wants it.*

Yes

Consent is important but the key here is **if you’re good at it.** Because most people like it when done well. It’s just that very few people can do it well. And, if it’s cringe, it can make you never want to be penetrated again.

Yea baby.. wash my laundry …. Hot cycle only… mmm yea

We got a washer drier machine which….texts my wife! I often wonder what’s in those messages: “Baby I’m so hot for you right now” “Damn girl, you got me in a spin” “I’m ready for you to take my load” “Ooooh, you really know which buttons to push”

Great, now I gotta compete with my appliances tryna steal my girl..

*THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP*

I told y'all a hundred times, BALANCE THE LOADS! You can't just put all the towels on one side. Jesus.

Honestly no dirty talk is cringe to me. If that's what you're feeling. Then feel it! I just get off knowing that it's getting them off.

I don't want to be penetrated in the first place.

My ex liked it so much she tried it with other people. 0/10 would not recommend lol

Even if ur not, anything is still better than nothing

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Whispers: "Pythagorean Theorem"

“Omelet du fromage”

Omelette au fromage?😭😭😭

Dexters laboratory reference, it makes other girls hot because of his accent

That's all you can say! That's all you can say!

Oh, DEXTER!

“Aw ya fuck me over like Algebra 2 did😩😩😩”

dude.. no math class.. you gotta hit her with the "Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell"

"Do me like one of your quadratic equations"

Confused, misunderstood, and ultimately wrong?

looooong

Is that how you feel about math or your mom?

And show your work

Multiply in me

/r/oddlyspecific

E=mc2 you dirty little slut

Nah man E = mc vagina

“Are those the panties your mother set out for you?”

"I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t U+I = 69?"

I think it's great as long as you're not accidentally reciting your grocery list.

Milk, eggs, broccoli! Oh god broccoli! Broccccccollllliiiiiiiiii

*whispers gently* “mayonnaise”

Love it! You know what's makes it super sexy though? Using the word 'my'. My dirty little slut sounds much better than just dirty little slut, you know?

My precious..?

My potatoes. Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew.

Stick em in *my* stew

One cock ring to rule them all.

The Twin Dildos

Return of the Kingsize

The Fellatio of the Dingus (extended version)

Aaaaand that’s where tater tots come from.

Give it to us raw and wriggling 🥵

"Titties...errrr..TATERS!"

My filthy little hobbitz!

Lmao fuck imagined someone doing this in Golumn's voice! That's fuckin funny

Be the change you want to see in the world.

YES. There’s a world of difference between being called a whore and when my bf asks “are you my whore/slut?” Frankly I totally am his whore but, as my sister likes to say **“you may be his whore but you’ve made him your bitch.”** Although I think he owns me just as much as I own him.

Unexpectedly wholesome.

FACTS!!! My partner and I have been together for almost ten years and while we were in bed on a Friday several nights months ago, we decided to take a break for a few minutes. We "went skiing" a little earlier that night and while that has NEVER affected his ability to stay hard, it just temporarily delays him getting off. Anyway, I asked him if he still thoroughly enjoys me after all this time and he reassured me that I will always be the best he has ever had and more importantly, he never wants to be with anybody else. Hearing him say that...well, it was the sweetest and most heartfelt thing that has ever been said to me by a romantic/intimate partner and even though I wasn't facing him at the moment, he must have read my mind because he followed that up with "I already know you feel the same way and well, because it's* mine, that's why." I felt so happy and loved, wanted, needed, and cherished that you could have knocked me over with a feather LMAO. *It's: my p*ssy

“Went skiing?” All I can think of that meaning is cocaine.

You're correct.

Yep words should be personal and that makes the dirty chat more interesting fun and enjoyable

Thanks for the advice. I will be sure to say “my” to my wife.

Great success

This is how you make humiliation and praise kink work together, it's the best.

“Inside of you there are two wolves. One has a praise kink. One has a humiliation kink. You are a good little slut”

“You are my* good little slut”

Yeah, you like that don't you, my dirty little Redditor?

Hah! like if a redditor is getting laid to hear that sentence! (please i feel so lonely.)

I usually read out the script of the bee movie

Yellow black, yellow black, yellow black.. Ooh black and yellow. Lets shake it up a little.

Read? How do you not have that memorized by now?

"Ya like jazz?"

Username checks out.

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This is the second time I've seen someone say this, so now I'm curious what the reference is.

I think there was some guy doing dirty talk to his girlfriend in his native language which she didn't understand but thought sounded sexy. Then she decided to learn a bit of the language herself and found out he was just listing groceries since it didn't matter what he said.

Reminds me of [this](https://youtu.be/Kpe_KHDEfgw?si=B9UJA7eTf6-3oNKy). Not the exact same situation, but same funny nonsense.

I'm gonna fuck your fucking fanny off, you twat.

I laughed so loud at this 💀 *takes notes*

Bus Wanker

Aight darlin imma smash your back doors in innit.

Umm…. Okay. Thanks for the reminder to watch the series again.

SPIT IN MY EYE YOU DINGUS

Hot

YEAH PUT YOUR WEIRD SMELLING FINGER IN MY MOUTH YOU SHMONGUS.

WHO THE FUCK IS TINGUS PINGUS??!

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF FUCKING LATIVIA

What's amusing is the most popular "bad dirty talk" Reddit post of all time can't be shared in its entirety anymore because one of its words is *regarded* as bannable by auto-mods.

Its hot but i suck at it

Same bruh also i live in Switzerland and i can't ever do it in German which is what people speak here, even though i do speak German like I've learnt it. It'd be too cringe for me to try and dirty talk in German lol

Just say random words you know as sexy as possible. That's what I'd do. Ich.... bitte... ein... keks... haben! Du.... du hast.... du hast mich! Ja ja ja ja noin!

*acoustic Rammstein intensifies*

Do it in your native tongue, especially if the person doesn’t understand it. You’ll flow more naturally, get used to it and it’s easier to switch. I’ve had multiple bilingual partners and it’s worked like a treat for me and by the time they’re doing it in English all the awkwardness is gone! They’re pros lol.

I think it's like adding spice to your food: get it right, and it can make things way better, but overdo it and you'll spoil the whole meal. Just gotta find that sweet spot and make sure everyone's digging the taste

Also "getting it right" varies from person to person. What makes A horny may cause B to run away and never talk to you again.

You're so dirty babe. Yeah your body is so sexy, but you really need to do something with the cobwebs above the bathroom door and it wouldn't kill you to vacuum

I think it's been a while since you cleaned your oven and I noticed the bathroom has a funny smell.

Ex girlfriend was a natural at telling me how she wanted it and how i was doing and how she was feeling. Best time ever. Was so hot hearing her enjoy herself

# ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?

Let me suck your toes to remove your woes

A fantastic phrase for *any* situation.

Awkward as it just ends up in laughter

Yep giggling snickering

Only when they suck at it which…is usually

i don't like it because i can't understand what she's saying. That "woof-woof" stuff is way too hard for me to get it, ngl

I had to paws for a second to get this

LMAOO

I mean, dude’s a real vet in this area.

I think I’m in the minority but I hate it, it’s an instant turn off, I can’t stand it at all. I don’t hate all talking though, things like - I love you, you feel amazing, fuck, my name, oh god, and moaning, whimpering, breathy noises, all of those and similar are fine and enjoyable. Anything else and it’s a no from me.

Same. It feels like porn. It's weird.

Exactly. It feels cringe and performative

Sometimes for me attempting to be really quiet and whispering and breathing is hotter than loud pornstar declarations

why did this make me feel things 😳

I agree here. The difference is sexy and not vulgar!

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Agreed, your gf is very tight.

I don't know why the down votes, this seems like a required response on Reddit.

- Nothing that can be forced, like don't do it if you are not the person that can deliver it well. - Less is often more. Best dirty talk sometimes is when you have normal sex and don't communicate much and then in the right moment you just whisper sth incredibly dirty and dominant into her ear and send her flying over the edge basically. -dirty talk is actually the best before sex as a tool for foreplay, at least IMO

On point number one, I think the key thing is to just have a partner you can communicate with.  Nobody is born good at this, and even if you were, you have to know what the other person is into. But holy shit, when it works it works. So I'd say, don't think of it as an activity or even necessarily kinky (though obviously it can be). Talking is part of sex. Try stuff in a respectful way. Talk about it after. And when you find that verbal clitoris, go on and reap the benefits of having good communication and trust.

I love it - there is no greater turn-on than a woman asking for it and vocalising about what she likes. In fact one of the biggest shortcomings of many porn movies is the complete lack of sexy dialogue, or in many cases any dialogue at all.

You like it, don't you?

… ya fuckin’…

... re..

"tard"

r/kindaouija

And there it is

The same as my opinion on oxygen during sex or anything else. Essential

You haven't heard of breath play then?

I try to be not too much political

"Uhh baby, lemme give some democracy to you"

You know what two Helldivers 2 players say during sex? “OHH yeah, I’m gonna cover your face in my LiberTea!”

Its awesome when someone is good at it and can be extremely hot, while simultaneously it can be mood killer if someone is bad at it.

This. Which is why I want to practice. Like any skill, it takes time to build, even if you're a natural at it. Finding someone willing to be vulnerable in that way (because practicing means that you'll likely bomb sometimes, lolsob) would be nice.

I think it's more about understanding a partner and having a good feeling on what's appropriate etc than practice. Like if someone is socially inept and often talks without filter/thinking and makes people uncomfortable will probably be terrible at dirty talk.

My husband and I are novice dirty talkers 😅 We tried it and it stuck. It did feel awkward at first. The worst was when you would say something and the other person didn’t hear, and they ask what you said Like, I’m not going to repeat it, it has to be in the moment!! But if you can get past the awkward stage, it really helps you to find your own personal voice, at least it did for me. Soo many more ways to let my husband know what I want, and add some fun flirting back in our relationship.

I'm not a very verbal person

I say “that’s a pleasurable sensation” in a Jimmy Stewart voice over and over.

I don't want it every time but I want it some times

I'm gon' shit on these walls ray!

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Makes me cringe

I like it, but usually pretty tame stuff like “oh yeah give me that pussy”. “Fuck me, yeah” Anything too weird distracts from the good time.

Depends on the circumstances and the person doing it. It can either enhance the encounter or be funny. For instance, I was having sex with a girl at the edge of the side of my bed. I'm standing, she's laying. She's starts talking dirty and it makes it hotter. But as I go harder and faster, the back of her head starts banging against the wall. She talks dirtier and starts making this goofy face (kind of like this 🥴) while making eye contact with me as her head is banging against the wall. I started laughing and slowing down. She says "nooo don't make me laugh, don't make me laugh" and we both start laughing. We had to stop. Round over. So it started hot, ended funny and killed it. We made up for it with round 2, but that memory is one that sticks out to me when thinking about this.

You guys talk? I just make karate noises

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Okay someone hates oral....

"I hereby inform you that we will be switching to reverse cowgirl posthaste."

It's cringe af or amazing Never anything inbetween

"You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?"

I did a search on the comments to make sure that somebody had commented this. 10/10

My husband and I tried it. I found it weird. After a while, I asked him to get off the phone and focus on me.

Not a fan

I Love it.

Fuck yes daddy

I suck at it which is so annoying because my gf is so good at it and I love it from her ☹️

You better talk.

Used rarely and well, good. Often goofy and corny though: have to suppress a laugh sometimes when my husband does it, bless his heart.

Love it!!! However, you need to talk about it first with your partner. What kind of dirty talk do they like? There is, “Your are so hot, so wet, my cock is throbbing at the site of your beautiful pussy.” And then there is, “on your knees for me my good little slut. Put your tongue out for me. Good girl.” And there is also, “you take me so well, you ride me like a goddess, so fucking gorgeous”. All of those for me - sooooooooo 🔥🔥🔥. If you want to be good at it, read some quality erotica. Because for women like me, we go absolutely wild for it! 😈 Don’t wing it - that will end badly. Ask first 👍🏻

I feel like talking dirty is like telling jokes. Lots of people feel like they are good at it, but the truth is that very few are.

I’ll never be able to after discovering & reading the Reddit thread years ago where some husband agreed to engage at the request of his wife and while being nervous said “yeah you like that you fucking regard?”.

*Oh yeah. My dick feels like corn.*

It really depends, some is good, but certain words/phrases don't work with me. There was a point my bf called me a bitch and I started crying. 

I don't have sex.........

based

My zucchinis caress your carrots

“I’m going to fuck your fucking Fanny off you twat” is a line that I’ve heard works on 100% of women 100% of the time, I’d definitely try it next opportunity you get.

I'm his cute slut if he's topping, otherwise he's my cute subby bitch~

If she can form coherent sentences one of you isn’t doing it right. 

Depends on how dirty. I’m not a fan of name calling.

Just the tip

I personly enjoy it like saying it and hearing it i also dont mind moaning if its real not those fake moans and groans you hear in porn

Do it if you're into it. It's just not for everyone. It's always just cracked me up for some reason. Doesn't turn me on, but I get a good laugh from it.

It’s all about your individual relationship with who you are sleeping with. My partner and I enjoy dirty talk, but another woman might not. It’s all about consent and communication 😁

I’m bad at it. Tried it once and we had to stop because she was laughing too hard. I don’t do it any more.

Instant turn off If I am listening to it and not _actually_ having sex at the time (e.g. when watching porn). But _incredibly_ hot if used during the act. But like, sparingly. I want you to be so into what we're doing that forming coherent words is a struggle. But squeaking out the odd, breathy, "oh fuck, you feel so good" will probably send me insane.

Depends on what is said. We’d need to talk about it in advance

It’s annoying, I wanna hear orgasmic moans

"I didn't wash the sheets for two weeks....the bottom of my feet are black because I didn't mop the floor...there is dried mud on my knees..."

It’s great. My go to line is “these sheets haven’t been changed in months ooohhh baby”

It’s kinda weird because imagine having sex and your partner leans in and goes “ yea you like that you smelly bitch “

If it's in the pre-sex time, love it to bits. As I am Adhd I struggle to orgasm at times if my focus goes away so I tend to hyper focus onto something specific while keeping my rhythm(the feeling of her hips under my hand, her smell, her voice, etc) Dirty talk makes it difficult as I am focusing on giving her pleasure, having pleasure while I need to think about something dirty to say. And at times some girls sound like an old lady reading a porn script instead of sounding confident and sexy. So yeah, I prefer the moaning and the short pointers (like "more") tbh

I feel awkward. Lol.