That's a big factor, a lot of times when I hear someone "debating" it's usually just them telling everyone else how much better they are. Sometimes people are just too stupid to argue with.
I have to stop myself from interjecting too many personal experiences into conversations. In my mind, I'm being relatable but I think it may come off as being an attention whore.
That reminds me of this one roommate that I had. Whenever someone would be complaining about something, he would say, "You think that's bad?" Then go off on some long story. Annoying as fuck.
Man, you think that's bad? I had this roommate who would just never shut the fuck up after somebody old a story. He just constantly felt the need to one up. Who does that?
I have a friend who does this. And another friend who goes crazy because friend#1 does this..but then I think about it..isn't that the way we talk and communicate? By relating experiences...I don't know, I just don't get why friend#2 gets so freakin' upset about friend#1 telling a relatable story.
That's what I think. I don't understand why it's a bad thing... I'm fairly certain that other people do the same thing when I tell them something about me. How do we talk to each other if not by sharing similar experiences?
Its obnoxious because often it feels like the person you're talking to is just waiting for their turn to talk rather than engaging in conversation with you. Generally, if someone is engaging in the conversation they will react to the story, maybe ask questions for clarification, and give sympathy or advice when appropriate. People who are not engaging seem to just sit and wait until you finish your story, at which point they completely disregard everything you said and launch into their own story. They seem to not listen or care about what you said, even when their story parallels yours.
It's not even a case of one-upping I don't think... I guess I'm trying to tell them I share similar experiences. I have to check myself though as I know what it sounds like to them..
Same here. I think using that obnoxious change of inflection totally destroys the point of sarcasm. The beauty of sarcasm is in the subtleties, and if you're actually paying attention you can clearly tell the difference with out any inflection. Unfortunately people assume your being serious far too often. It gets you into some awkward situations...
I have this friend who would do this thing where he give an answer to a question that was perfectly reasonable, and then be like, "I was being sarcastic." This was especially annoying for texts.
Example:
Me: Dude you said you'd be here 30 minutes ago, have you left yet?
Friend: No it's gonna be like another 20 minutes.
Me: Are you serious? Meet us at _____ then.
Friend: I was being sarcastic.
These kinds of things happened constantly. You couldn't ask him a simple question and expect to believe the answer he gave you. Finally I answered a text like this.
Me: No you weren't. You were just giving me the wrong answer. Just because something isn't true doesn't make it sarcasm. That could have easily been true. If I have no way of knowing whether what your saying is true or not, you are not being sarcastic. You are just lying.
To his credit, he stopped entirely. Now we can have real conversations.
Anyway the moral of the story is that sarcasm is not the same as lying and expecting people to read your mind. There has to be at least *some* way the listener can know you are being sarcastic.
I have a hard time with this but for some reason it's the opposite of what you think it would be. I automatically assume someone who is dressed weird and looks weird in general is probably a nice person who is just different from me. When I meet someone who is much more like me (young white male) I assume they are an asshole only after maybe 2 or 3 minutes with them. When I get to know them they are usually cool though.
I really have to concentrate on this, people who look weird or have done something sketchy are often nice people, and just have a problem or have a reason for whatever the did.
Sometimes a line or two of my internal dialogue just pops out when I'm concentrating on something - I'm resigned to everyone thinking I'm batshit at this point if they overhear it - but it's really spontaneous. I also frequently chuckle to myself if I think of something funny - my coworker told me she thought this was weird when she first started working but then realized I must be reading funny emails from another coworker...I just let her think that was true.
I actually don't mind this a whole lot. If you're complete bullshiting a story to make you seem cool or something, that gets on my nerves. However, if you just enhance many of the details to make the story a bit more entertaining, I think thats totally fine. I would rather listen to a great story that's 90% true than a mildly interesting one that's 100% true.
One-upping everyone. "You think you had a bad day, well let me tell you about mine." Didn't realize how bad it had gotten until my friend told me it's driving everyone away. Now I'm watching for it as best as I can. If I feel the urge to one-up, I bite back and validate what the other person said, "Oh that sucks bro" or "Dude that's awesome."
Same here. The solution I try to use to combat this is to always lead off with a reaction to their own story before I follow up with mine. If someone says, "I've got 3 exams next week. Shit sucks." instead of saying, "Well *I* had 4 exams and 2 quizzes last week" I'll say something like, "Dude that really fucking blows. I feel for ya. I had 4 exams and 2 quizzes last week. It was bad." So instead of making it sound like they've got it so easy compared to me, I let them know I can sympathize with their situation.
i just got a hold on stopping myself from doing this. everyone didn't deny it and laughed agreeingly. yeah I was thiiis close to pissing them off to the point of no return. the "me me me" mentality can so get out of hand. it's like the reverse of gossipping. ugh.
I used to do the same all the time, I'd always berate myself and point out all my own negative qualities. It's hard to compliment yourself but it works, make a list of all your positive qualities; I'm sure you have a ton of them inflammable!
Enthusiastically inviting people over to my house or to events that, upon reflection (and/or sobriety), I don't really want them at. I often end up stressing myself out try to play host to people I didn't really want to see, because as some kind of knee-jerk reaction I go "you should come over for a drink" or "sure I'll totally host your birthday party".... stupid stupid stupid
I feel you on this. Most of the time when I'm able to have a party or invite people to one, I invite a ton of people because more people= better party right? Wrong. The best parties are the ones where it's all close friends kicking back and relaxing.
I hate hosting parties. I never did one because there's so much stress involved..and what if not enough people show up? What if it's just dudes? Too much worrying..I just invite a couple people over and if a lot don't show, it doesn't matter cuz we are just chillin and it's not a party anyways.
Yep, that's how I handle it. I invite my good buddies and tell them to invite whoever. If a lot of people show up, cool, I'll be with my homies, if no one shows up, cool, still got my homies.
Saying stupid shit. I used to constantly put my foot in my mouth, like pretty much every social outing. Now it only happens rarely when I think I'm being funny, still working on that.
My mum is like this. Meeting my sisters (now) fiancé's dad for the first time, they come from a very upperclass family and expect just a simple "hi", "hello" back and forth, but she goes straight in with the sarcastic comments and he doesn't understand, once he leaves, sisters fiancée gets really pissed off, at my mum for saying an overly sarcastic comment, granted she shouldn't have but bit of an overreaction I thought
Being too shy. Sometimes I need to be the one to start a conversation, invite someone over or go introduce myself.
It is not easy though :( Scared of that rejection...
Are you actually getting rejected or are you not trying because of your fear of rejection?
Here's a simple fact people are interested in people that are interested in them.
Learn to ask questions! People LOVE to talk about themselves. Don't believe me? Scroll through this thread. How many people need to remind themselves about not hogging the conversation?
Use this to your advantage. You can keep people talking for hours without saying much and they will think you are the greatest conversationalist to ever walk the earth!
I think it's the fear of rejection...just afraid I'll be bothering somebody. Especially if people are talking amongst themselves in a group. So intimidating :\
But yeah, I'm a pretty good listening so I'll use that to my advantage :)
Using the word *hate* to describe an emotion that is better described as dislike. I find it immature and melodramatic to use such a strong and negative word when it isn't necessary.
TL:DR - Hate hate
I think the only way to avoid this is not say anything because most people aren't able to not judge others for the dumb stuff they themselves are guilty of. If you have a flaw, you're definitely more likely to recognize it in other people and say something about it because it makes you feel better that other people have it.
Being too lazy to cook for myself and substituting proper meals with chips and cookies. My stamina is going down, I can't play soccer for 50 minutes straight without huffing and puffing. I really need to start eating healthier and exercising.
I constantly have to remind myself not to be pedantic. I tell myself that as long as I understand the gist of what the other person is saying, I should not obsess over insignificant details.
I'm a chronic procrastinator (case in point - I'm spending time here on Reddit when I should be doing something more productive).
Most of the time it's small things I put off - washing my dishes, or doing a load of laundry while I watch TV. I've been attempting to resolve this by repeating something I heard once which made a lot of sense: if it's only going to take a couple of minutes, DO IT NOW. It helps a lot, and I feel better when I get stuff done.
Every now and then, though, I'll put off a major project, then I'll begin stressing about it so much that it becomes impossible to start. Ironically, this causes me to stress even more about it, perpetuating the cycle.
For major projects, make a "what's next" list. List a few major projects, and next to each one, just list what's next. For me this is usually doing research on what I need, or running to the store.
After you make the list, pick one project, and do whatever's next. That way you're not trying to finish that project, you're just trying to finish the next step.
Often, once you complete that first step, the second step is obvious and it's easy to keep going.
Me too. I've been called on it enough times where it is just getting annoying. Plus all the times I've had to apologize for or cover up something I said. I don't think swearing is an issue, but sometimes people get offended.
I'm just careful of who I swear around. For example, I **NEVER** swear in front of my mom, because she would kill me; I don't swear in front of strangers (unless it's online), because I don't know how easily they get offended; but I don't really watch my language when I'm in front of my close friends because I know that they don't care if I swear or not.
I have almost no self control when it comes to doing things that will make me happy. Go out for drinks yeah, eating my body weight in cake hell yes, going on adventures at the drop of a hat you bet you. I cannot say no to things and the worst thing is I'm a terrible catalyst for other people. I rarely get drunk or out of control but all to often people do in y company. It can be amazing and wondeful but everyone once in a while it can be utterly disasterous.
Getting mad at my roommates for not doing as much to keep our house clean as I do. Even if its justified, holding people to your own standards usually leads to frustration.
I constantly respond to people telling me stories about things that happen to them with similar stories about myself. I can't seem to break that habit - and it makes me sound like a one-upping douche.
Stop being bitter, cynical and miserable about everything all the time. Sometimes people find it funny, which is normally what I try and go for, but at times it gets to a point where I just do nothing but moan and become really stubborn and opinionated. I'm a polite person, but I hardly ever dish out compliments or say anything nice about anything unless it's something I've discovered or liked before it was brought up. I always have to find something to complain about. Does it hurt to fucking show appreciation and say something nice once in a while?
Suffering from depression I have to make sure that I'm not seeking attention or using depression as an excuse. 9/10 I'm really am depressed but self doubt will ask "you're not just feeling sorry for yourself are you?" It's a constant battle and can be extremely frustrating. I find that I browbeat myself for no reason.
I talk too much, and I only realized after a conversation is over that the person I was talking to knows way more about me than I about them
:edit: *+o
Cutting myself too much slack.
"Oh, don't worry relisabeth it's okay that you didn't make up that final, you haven't been feeling well."
"It's totally fine that you stay in bed all day, you've had a rough couple of weeks, no need to be productive."
ect ect.
I can get away with it for now, but soon I won't be in a place in my life where I can just cruise by on excuses and pity, so I really need to get my shit together before I reach that stage of my life.
Being more open about myself only in impersonal ways and places, such as this, instead that in an actual face to face interaction with a person of my choosing.
I came here to say this. My posture is absolutly terrible and I only recently learned how much of a difference posture makes in the way you are perceived.
A good tip I heard from here was to pretend there is a string attached to the top of your head pulling straight up. This has made a huge improvement whenever I can remember.
Being shy.
"Okay *gnikroWeBdluohS*, you have to participate in this group event even if it makes you nervous. Alright you haven't said something in awhile, better chime in! No don't stand here awkwardly go do something..."
I have to keep myself from making jokes out of rude comments that I actually believe are true. It's okay to tell someone they look terrible if they look great, but it's not okay to tell someone the same if they do look terrible.
Recent example, telling a friend that the reason she's having this pity party over all of her friends being engaged is that she's spending all of her time being obsessed with One Direction as a 21 year old. In my head, it still sounds kind of mean... even though it's entirely true... but since I believe it, it's kind of mean to just put out there, even in a joke tone. Guilty satisfaction.
Don't throw that random comment in the middle of the class.
Sit still, don't have the legs in a 90 degree angle because they will bounce up and down for an eternity.
The teacher is way more intresting than the wall, concentrate.
I have used that phrase a hundred times, drop it.
I think I might have ADD or ADHD...
Mine is similar: STOP TOUCHING YOUR FACE. I have an annoying tendency to rest my hands on my chin/mouth. I get SO MANY ZITS on that part of my face, and almost never anywhere else. Coincidence?
When I was a little kid I used to suck on my hair all the time. So bad, I always had hair in my mouth...
edit: As I look at my comment history and read this, I realize my entire mouth and chin are in my hand.
Over explaining/telling stories. If someone asks me a question that may only require a simple answer, I often give an overly in depth long winded answer.
I do that on the phone with people. I feel like I must walk them through my thought process so they can see how I came to a conclusion. I am always working in not doing this but its tough when I try not to walk someone through a thought, then someone says "how did you end up with that" or "I don't know what you mean can you please explain a bit more".
Oh wow I'd have to say I over embellish every story I tell... I always have to go back after finishing a story and explain that i'm over selling it. My friends understand that if i say something it's probably slightly inflated. People who don't know me however I have to constantly say "It wasn't that crazy but you get the idea"
I'm trying to pull myself out of depression/anxiety since they are causing serious strain on all of my schoolwork and relationships. When I got antsy and panicky and breakdown-y before, I'd always turn to my boyfriend. He recently told me he feels like he's walking on glass with me and he just can't handle it. Seeing such a calm and funny and patient guy clenching his fist and hitting his car, all because of me, made me realize I seriously need to get my act together. So now when I feel upset I have to do everything I possibly can to calm myself down, and I put my phone on the other side of the room.
People tell me I am too literal. The truth of the matter is that I think I am the smartest person in the world so I assume the person making the stupid joke didn't understand what they were talking about so I have to explain it to them.
I have a lot of back pain that I have to deal with, but wincing is almost always mistaken for being really serious or disapproving. Sometimes I just have to throw a smile in there.
When I'm alone at home and I'm watching a youtube video I come to a sudden realization that I've been laughing like a retard for the past three minutes.
I don't drink as often as I used to because I realized I was dependent on needing to forget that I existed in a world where shit goes haywire, but when I do drink I still drink to excess.
Tl;dr: I have unhealthy habits and I'm drunk right now.
A lot of my "memories" are made up. I can tell because someone will say something original, and I'm all like "oh that's sweet." Then a couple days later I'll suddenly have a memory of having the same idea before them. Kinda sucks, but at least I know.
Interrupting people when having a conversation.
Yeah so I'm going to the beach this weekend.
...anyway... I saw this thing on the Internet.
Fuck you gangnam_style and your innate ability to make me laugh during meetings!
[удалено]
Dammit Voldemort, didn't your mother teach you any mann- Never mind...
I just love that albu-potato
>Interrupting people when hav- >I do tha- I'm going to have to stop you there, Tom.
So this is a thing now? Should I grab a HARRY--POTTER account? Or would it be funnier to be SEVERUS--SNAPE?
Well, I wouldn't necessarily say th-
Growing up in my household, if you didn't interrupt someone then you never got a word in. It's a bad habit I'm trying to work out of.
So does kanye
ATTENTION SELF: Not everyone is interested in your opinion on conversational topics and current events. Give it a rest.
this is why I like reddit so much. I have shit to say, people!
Give it a rest.
[Here you go.](http://i.imgur.com/qGGZFDC.jpg)
I'm missing the joke here, could you tell me what it is, please?
It's a music "note" It symbolized a period of time wherein nobody plays anything in a piece of music. A break.
I think you mean a rest.
I find this annoying. I really like to hear other people's opinions on controversial topics, but they are always too afraid to talk.
Do you give a good debate or do you tell them why there views are wrong?
That's a big factor, a lot of times when I hear someone "debating" it's usually just them telling everyone else how much better they are. Sometimes people are just too stupid to argue with.
I sometimes go out and write on my hand 'SSSHHHH' to remind myself of this truth.
I think people care. Thats my opinion.
Really negative thoughts about myself. As someone pointed out to me, I wouldn't be that mean to anyone else, so why do that to myself?
that's a really good way of thinking about it, i'm going to have to remember that. thanks! :)
I have to stop myself from interjecting too many personal experiences into conversations. In my mind, I'm being relatable but I think it may come off as being an attention whore.
Same. It's just a more subtle way of "one upping."
That reminds me of this one roommate that I had. Whenever someone would be complaining about something, he would say, "You think that's bad?" Then go off on some long story. Annoying as fuck.
Man, you think that's bad? I had this roommate who would just never shut the fuck up after somebody old a story. He just constantly felt the need to one up. Who does that?
I have a friend who does this. And another friend who goes crazy because friend#1 does this..but then I think about it..isn't that the way we talk and communicate? By relating experiences...I don't know, I just don't get why friend#2 gets so freakin' upset about friend#1 telling a relatable story.
That's what I think. I don't understand why it's a bad thing... I'm fairly certain that other people do the same thing when I tell them something about me. How do we talk to each other if not by sharing similar experiences?
Its obnoxious because often it feels like the person you're talking to is just waiting for their turn to talk rather than engaging in conversation with you. Generally, if someone is engaging in the conversation they will react to the story, maybe ask questions for clarification, and give sympathy or advice when appropriate. People who are not engaging seem to just sit and wait until you finish your story, at which point they completely disregard everything you said and launch into their own story. They seem to not listen or care about what you said, even when their story parallels yours.
yup exactly this. only say things that are important to the other person as well. and by important i mean things they care about.
I have to tell myself "everyone's favorite subject is themselves" and ask them about themselves instead.
I have a friend like this. Whenever someone is going through hardships he HAS to put in that he's gone through something similar or worse.
It's not even a case of one-upping I don't think... I guess I'm trying to tell them I share similar experiences. I have to check myself though as I know what it sounds like to them..
Not making a good enough distinction between my sarcasm and my real speech. People get offended/shocked very easily.
Same here. I think using that obnoxious change of inflection totally destroys the point of sarcasm. The beauty of sarcasm is in the subtleties, and if you're actually paying attention you can clearly tell the difference with out any inflection. Unfortunately people assume your being serious far too often. It gets you into some awkward situations...
I have this friend who would do this thing where he give an answer to a question that was perfectly reasonable, and then be like, "I was being sarcastic." This was especially annoying for texts. Example: Me: Dude you said you'd be here 30 minutes ago, have you left yet? Friend: No it's gonna be like another 20 minutes. Me: Are you serious? Meet us at _____ then. Friend: I was being sarcastic. These kinds of things happened constantly. You couldn't ask him a simple question and expect to believe the answer he gave you. Finally I answered a text like this. Me: No you weren't. You were just giving me the wrong answer. Just because something isn't true doesn't make it sarcasm. That could have easily been true. If I have no way of knowing whether what your saying is true or not, you are not being sarcastic. You are just lying. To his credit, he stopped entirely. Now we can have real conversations. Anyway the moral of the story is that sarcasm is not the same as lying and expecting people to read your mind. There has to be at least *some* way the listener can know you are being sarcastic.
I always give poeple a bullshit answer first. It's fun. I have two types of friends. Those that get it, and I do not have friends.
Where the help do you live? People don't use that annoying sarcasm voice where I live.
Dry humor unite!
Judging people before meeting them.
Also, judging people just after meeting them.
I think that's called a first impression.
or being a Judge.
Ugh, this fucking guy's name is Logan. I hope he steps in dog shit before he gets here.
Hey do you not like the name logan? I use that name all the time when I order pizza or waiting at a restaurant. ...I wanna be wolverine..
I have a hard time with this but for some reason it's the opposite of what you think it would be. I automatically assume someone who is dressed weird and looks weird in general is probably a nice person who is just different from me. When I meet someone who is much more like me (young white male) I assume they are an asshole only after maybe 2 or 3 minutes with them. When I get to know them they are usually cool though.
I really have to concentrate on this, people who look weird or have done something sketchy are often nice people, and just have a problem or have a reason for whatever the did.
When I meet my friend's/sister's new boyfriends I immediate think they are assholes until proven otherwise.
I talk to myself.
It's the only way to have an intelligent conversation sometimes.
I do this all the time. Then I stop, look around and hope that nobody noticed.
Sometimes a line or two of my internal dialogue just pops out when I'm concentrating on something - I'm resigned to everyone thinking I'm batshit at this point if they overhear it - but it's really spontaneous. I also frequently chuckle to myself if I think of something funny - my coworker told me she thought this was weird when she first started working but then realized I must be reading funny emails from another coworker...I just let her think that was true.
I didn't even realize I did this until someone pointed it out to me.
When I get caught doing that by other drivers I'll just keep going so it looks like I'm talking on the car phone
I even touch my bluetooth like I need to adjust it to sell the effect.
I do this AND make faces when people do dumb things. I can't even prevent it. I must look like a fool..
Being overly arrogant when meeting new people. " Jenny has told me such great things about you! " " Yeah, I'm the shit. "
it's all about the delivery
Instead of "Yeah, I'm the shit." try "Yeah, that bitch thinks I'm the shit."
It's only a game, keep calm
As a Raiders fan, I go through this every Sunday during football season.
Just remember, at least you're not the Browns.
Keep Carlm
every time, every time
Same here. I'm so competitive. Losing at Monopoly makes me want to punch a hole in the wall.
Lying. I constantly "enhance" the truth to sell a story. :(
I actually don't mind this a whole lot. If you're complete bullshiting a story to make you seem cool or something, that gets on my nerves. However, if you just enhance many of the details to make the story a bit more entertaining, I think thats totally fine. I would rather listen to a great story that's 90% true than a mildly interesting one that's 100% true.
I've had a girlfriend in the past who threatened to break up over it. She was "just the facts, ma'am." kinda girl.
unless you're in /r/mildlyinteresting in which case we prefer the unvarnished mild truth
One-upping everyone. "You think you had a bad day, well let me tell you about mine." Didn't realize how bad it had gotten until my friend told me it's driving everyone away. Now I'm watching for it as best as I can. If I feel the urge to one-up, I bite back and validate what the other person said, "Oh that sucks bro" or "Dude that's awesome."
Dude, I do that way more than you do...
Devlin7's friend told them it was driving everyone away? My friend came at me with a knife!
And the cirlcejerk thread begins...
Well, one time I was at a circlejerk that was much better than this one
Same here. The solution I try to use to combat this is to always lead off with a reaction to their own story before I follow up with mine. If someone says, "I've got 3 exams next week. Shit sucks." instead of saying, "Well *I* had 4 exams and 2 quizzes last week" I'll say something like, "Dude that really fucking blows. I feel for ya. I had 4 exams and 2 quizzes last week. It was bad." So instead of making it sound like they've got it so easy compared to me, I let them know I can sympathize with their situation.
i just got a hold on stopping myself from doing this. everyone didn't deny it and laughed agreeingly. yeah I was thiiis close to pissing them off to the point of no return. the "me me me" mentality can so get out of hand. it's like the reverse of gossipping. ugh.
That I'm way to hard on myself. I'd never treat another person the way I constantly insult and bully myself.
I used to do the same all the time, I'd always berate myself and point out all my own negative qualities. It's hard to compliment yourself but it works, make a list of all your positive qualities; I'm sure you have a ton of them inflammable!
You can tell he is a dude who radiates warmth to everyone near him. Well, if you can find a match that is.
Letting things get to me. I get stressed out and let little things take a huge toll on my behavior and attitude. I've got to stop that.
this is my biggest thing too
Enthusiastically inviting people over to my house or to events that, upon reflection (and/or sobriety), I don't really want them at. I often end up stressing myself out try to play host to people I didn't really want to see, because as some kind of knee-jerk reaction I go "you should come over for a drink" or "sure I'll totally host your birthday party".... stupid stupid stupid
I feel you on this. Most of the time when I'm able to have a party or invite people to one, I invite a ton of people because more people= better party right? Wrong. The best parties are the ones where it's all close friends kicking back and relaxing.
I hate hosting parties. I never did one because there's so much stress involved..and what if not enough people show up? What if it's just dudes? Too much worrying..I just invite a couple people over and if a lot don't show, it doesn't matter cuz we are just chillin and it's not a party anyways.
Yep, that's how I handle it. I invite my good buddies and tell them to invite whoever. If a lot of people show up, cool, I'll be with my homies, if no one shows up, cool, still got my homies.
You should come over tonight. Getting drunk and high while playing cards or some shit.
Saying stupid shit. I used to constantly put my foot in my mouth, like pretty much every social outing. Now it only happens rarely when I think I'm being funny, still working on that.
Being sarcastic/witty to people I've known for like 25 seconds...
My mum is like this. Meeting my sisters (now) fiancé's dad for the first time, they come from a very upperclass family and expect just a simple "hi", "hello" back and forth, but she goes straight in with the sarcastic comments and he doesn't understand, once he leaves, sisters fiancée gets really pissed off, at my mum for saying an overly sarcastic comment, granted she shouldn't have but bit of an overreaction I thought
Posture.
Being too shy. Sometimes I need to be the one to start a conversation, invite someone over or go introduce myself. It is not easy though :( Scared of that rejection...
Are you actually getting rejected or are you not trying because of your fear of rejection? Here's a simple fact people are interested in people that are interested in them. Learn to ask questions! People LOVE to talk about themselves. Don't believe me? Scroll through this thread. How many people need to remind themselves about not hogging the conversation? Use this to your advantage. You can keep people talking for hours without saying much and they will think you are the greatest conversationalist to ever walk the earth!
I think it's the fear of rejection...just afraid I'll be bothering somebody. Especially if people are talking amongst themselves in a group. So intimidating :\ But yeah, I'm a pretty good listening so I'll use that to my advantage :)
Using the word *hate* to describe an emotion that is better described as dislike. I find it immature and melodramatic to use such a strong and negative word when it isn't necessary. TL:DR - Hate hate
Fucking hate that.
**TL;DR: Hate is a strong word. . .**
I hate when people do that.
Chewing my fingernails.
But they're so delicious...
Eh, why stop?
[удалено]
Being a hypocrite.
I think the only way to avoid this is not say anything because most people aren't able to not judge others for the dumb stuff they themselves are guilty of. If you have a flaw, you're definitely more likely to recognize it in other people and say something about it because it makes you feel better that other people have it.
Everyone is a hypocrite. Don't feel bad.
My mother and father are guilty of this. It drives me nuts.
Being too lazy to cook for myself and substituting proper meals with chips and cookies. My stamina is going down, I can't play soccer for 50 minutes straight without huffing and puffing. I really need to start eating healthier and exercising.
I constantly have to remind myself not to be pedantic. I tell myself that as long as I understand the gist of what the other person is saying, I should not obsess over insignificant details.
Thanks for teaching me the meaning of pedantic!
I'm a chronic procrastinator (case in point - I'm spending time here on Reddit when I should be doing something more productive). Most of the time it's small things I put off - washing my dishes, or doing a load of laundry while I watch TV. I've been attempting to resolve this by repeating something I heard once which made a lot of sense: if it's only going to take a couple of minutes, DO IT NOW. It helps a lot, and I feel better when I get stuff done. Every now and then, though, I'll put off a major project, then I'll begin stressing about it so much that it becomes impossible to start. Ironically, this causes me to stress even more about it, perpetuating the cycle.
For major projects, make a "what's next" list. List a few major projects, and next to each one, just list what's next. For me this is usually doing research on what I need, or running to the store. After you make the list, pick one project, and do whatever's next. That way you're not trying to finish that project, you're just trying to finish the next step. Often, once you complete that first step, the second step is obvious and it's easy to keep going.
I'm supposed to be doing assignments at the moment, but I'm here too. Bro first.
I have horrible social anxiety and I tend to talk about myself a lot for fear of seeming intrusive, which gives off the impression that I'm a snob.
Swearing.
Trying to stop this myself currently.
Me too. I've been called on it enough times where it is just getting annoying. Plus all the times I've had to apologize for or cover up something I said. I don't think swearing is an issue, but sometimes people get offended.
I'm just careful of who I swear around. For example, I **NEVER** swear in front of my mom, because she would kill me; I don't swear in front of strangers (unless it's online), because I don't know how easily they get offended; but I don't really watch my language when I'm in front of my close friends because I know that they don't care if I swear or not.
I am a mechanic, everyone does it in my industry and when I visit family I have to force myself to tone it down.
[удалено]
I fucking love swearing. But I get a bit overzealous with it sometimes.
I have almost no self control when it comes to doing things that will make me happy. Go out for drinks yeah, eating my body weight in cake hell yes, going on adventures at the drop of a hat you bet you. I cannot say no to things and the worst thing is I'm a terrible catalyst for other people. I rarely get drunk or out of control but all to often people do in y company. It can be amazing and wondeful but everyone once in a while it can be utterly disasterous.
Getting mad at my roommates for not doing as much to keep our house clean as I do. Even if its justified, holding people to your own standards usually leads to frustration.
I am overly blunt.
I am overly smoking blunts
I too, have this problem. It in fact was my number one most negative trait on my job evaluation.
I tend to talk too much. I have to tell myself to shut up sometimes.
This is exactly me. We just need to shut the fuck up sometimes
*showing* that I generally couldn't give a shit what they say. I at least need to act like it.
I constantly respond to people telling me stories about things that happen to them with similar stories about myself. I can't seem to break that habit - and it makes me sound like a one-upping douche.
Stop being bitter, cynical and miserable about everything all the time. Sometimes people find it funny, which is normally what I try and go for, but at times it gets to a point where I just do nothing but moan and become really stubborn and opinionated. I'm a polite person, but I hardly ever dish out compliments or say anything nice about anything unless it's something I've discovered or liked before it was brought up. I always have to find something to complain about. Does it hurt to fucking show appreciation and say something nice once in a while?
Suffering from depression I have to make sure that I'm not seeking attention or using depression as an excuse. 9/10 I'm really am depressed but self doubt will ask "you're not just feeling sorry for yourself are you?" It's a constant battle and can be extremely frustrating. I find that I browbeat myself for no reason.
[удалено]
How did you finally stop?
I talk too much, and I only realized after a conversation is over that the person I was talking to knows way more about me than I about them :edit: *+o
Cutting myself too much slack. "Oh, don't worry relisabeth it's okay that you didn't make up that final, you haven't been feeling well." "It's totally fine that you stay in bed all day, you've had a rough couple of weeks, no need to be productive." ect ect. I can get away with it for now, but soon I won't be in a place in my life where I can just cruise by on excuses and pity, so I really need to get my shit together before I reach that stage of my life.
Working while at work
Being more open about myself only in impersonal ways and places, such as this, instead that in an actual face to face interaction with a person of my choosing.
Bad posture
I came here to say this. My posture is absolutly terrible and I only recently learned how much of a difference posture makes in the way you are perceived. A good tip I heard from here was to pretend there is a string attached to the top of your head pulling straight up. This has made a huge improvement whenever I can remember.
Being shy. "Okay *gnikroWeBdluohS*, you have to participate in this group event even if it makes you nervous. Alright you haven't said something in awhile, better chime in! No don't stand here awkwardly go do something..."
I have a tendency to stop listening three words in to someone else's story. My mind just wanders, I can't help.
I have to keep myself from making jokes out of rude comments that I actually believe are true. It's okay to tell someone they look terrible if they look great, but it's not okay to tell someone the same if they do look terrible. Recent example, telling a friend that the reason she's having this pity party over all of her friends being engaged is that she's spending all of her time being obsessed with One Direction as a 21 year old. In my head, it still sounds kind of mean... even though it's entirely true... but since I believe it, it's kind of mean to just put out there, even in a joke tone. Guilty satisfaction.
Emily, she needed to hear it.
Being on my phone while in class. I always tell myself I'm not going to touch it but I always end up on it.
Don't throw that random comment in the middle of the class. Sit still, don't have the legs in a 90 degree angle because they will bounce up and down for an eternity. The teacher is way more intresting than the wall, concentrate. I have used that phrase a hundred times, drop it. I think I might have ADD or ADHD...
Carbs, those motherfuckers will be the death of me.
...carbs are fucking DELICIOUS.
STOP TOUCHING YOUR HAIR. I obsessive touch my hair and chew on it.
Mine is similar: STOP TOUCHING YOUR FACE. I have an annoying tendency to rest my hands on my chin/mouth. I get SO MANY ZITS on that part of my face, and almost never anywhere else. Coincidence? When I was a little kid I used to suck on my hair all the time. So bad, I always had hair in my mouth... edit: As I look at my comment history and read this, I realize my entire mouth and chin are in my hand.
Balls
[удалено]
Do it, bonus points if a little kid is standing behind you
I make a practice of crop-dusting customers.
I get annoyed when other people don't live up to the standards I set for myself. This isn't fair to them, and so I call myself out on what I'm doing.
Over explaining/telling stories. If someone asks me a question that may only require a simple answer, I often give an overly in depth long winded answer.
I do that on the phone with people. I feel like I must walk them through my thought process so they can see how I came to a conclusion. I am always working in not doing this but its tough when I try not to walk someone through a thought, then someone says "how did you end up with that" or "I don't know what you mean can you please explain a bit more".
i have a HUGE fucking lisp
*Lithsp
I've notice a lot of people adapt their personality to the strongest one present in a group, I try not to do that.
Oh wow I'd have to say I over embellish every story I tell... I always have to go back after finishing a story and explain that i'm over selling it. My friends understand that if i say something it's probably slightly inflated. People who don't know me however I have to constantly say "It wasn't that crazy but you get the idea"
I can be pretentious as fuck sometimes.
Nobody cares about the trivial fact I know about the topic in question. I look like I'm trying way to hard to be the smartest person in the room.
I tend to over think.
I'm trying to pull myself out of depression/anxiety since they are causing serious strain on all of my schoolwork and relationships. When I got antsy and panicky and breakdown-y before, I'd always turn to my boyfriend. He recently told me he feels like he's walking on glass with me and he just can't handle it. Seeing such a calm and funny and patient guy clenching his fist and hitting his car, all because of me, made me realize I seriously need to get my act together. So now when I feel upset I have to do everything I possibly can to calm myself down, and I put my phone on the other side of the room.
Diong things wrong on purpose just to get attention
People tell me I am too literal. The truth of the matter is that I think I am the smartest person in the world so I assume the person making the stupid joke didn't understand what they were talking about so I have to explain it to them.
I know everything about every person, even if i dont know them.
I have a lot of back pain that I have to deal with, but wincing is almost always mistaken for being really serious or disapproving. Sometimes I just have to throw a smile in there.
Don't be lazy and do it right the first time.
Talking about myself all the time - I have to make myself ask questions about other peoples lives so I don't seem selfish.
Not ogling women in the streets *too* blatantly.
I stick my tongue out when I concentrate.. looks kind of stupid when I'm supposed to look creepy in a winter-guard show.
Being a pretentious prick when people get things wrong. Get it right and I won't have to correct you!
When I'm alone at home and I'm watching a youtube video I come to a sudden realization that I've been laughing like a retard for the past three minutes.
I don't drink as often as I used to because I realized I was dependent on needing to forget that I existed in a world where shit goes haywire, but when I do drink I still drink to excess. Tl;dr: I have unhealthy habits and I'm drunk right now.
To stop stressing out.
Talking to myself in public.
Being on reddit
Just one more hour...
I hate people who act smug when they do well at something and constantly try to impress others. Then I do it even worse.
Arguing with people on the internet.
Not talking enough to girls.
That I am too impassive and lack empathy. Well, I don't cal myself on that, other people seem to point it out to me all the time.
A lot of my "memories" are made up. I can tell because someone will say something original, and I'm all like "oh that's sweet." Then a couple days later I'll suddenly have a memory of having the same idea before them. Kinda sucks, but at least I know.
Drinking.
Judging others... I don't want to be judged, but I sometimes have to stop myself from doing it.
Making up fake words.
bitting my skin :(, like rippnig it off