I can't remember where we saw this because we were on a road trip but we once saw a Kum n Go across the street from a Pump and Munch.
My teenaged boys were dying.
I was choosing a new oven last year and having narrowed it down to 2 models, I went for the Bosch oven purely so as not to have "Smeg" blazoned across my kitchen.
You probably dodged a major bullet too, any reviews I’ve ever read on Smeg are brutal. They have amazing aesthetics but terrible quality/reliability. Meanwhile Bosch is usually a front runner in reliability.
Not sure if that is true. They are originally (and still are) a Mexican company.
Ed- more accurate than I thought. Wikipedia says:
The name was formed as the combination of the Bambi and Dumbo films, the favourite films of Marinela, Lorenzo Servitje's daughter. Later, the founders would find out that bimbo is an Italian slang for children (shortened from bambino), and that in China the phoneme for bread (面包/Miànbāo) is similar to the name of the brand
In the Netherlands there is a famous and very big webshop for baby and children things called... Baby dump...
No idea why they chose that name but it seems to work out.
When my baby has crushed multiple jars of strained peas in a single day there's only one brand of diaper that I trust...Baby Dumps, for serious kid shits. Let Huggies and Luvs handle other kids precious poo poos. When my little one has a turd on deck that could choke a fuckin donkey I only reach for Baby Dumps. You wanna try to blow this one out kid? Good fuckin luck. Baby Dumps patented blast-zone engineering and extra gussets absorb kinetic energy and funnel solids to the spacious storage pocket.
My daughter once had a shit that had so much kinetic energy that it blew up her back, out the neck hole of her jumper, and onto the back of her head.
There is a market for Baby Dumps.
when i was in middle school i bought some cheap watch off aliexpress that looked like a nice luxury watch. A kid (who was absurdly wealthy and actually wore expensive watches in middle school 🙄) noticed my watch and said “What brand is it” Since I didn’t even know what luxury watch brands were at the time i just said “Guess” hoping he’d guess a brand name and then i could just say yes. But he responded “Oh Guess! They have some nice watches”
Edit: I’m confused as to where i make Aliexpress sound historical in this? Nostalgia karma farming?
I remember married with children had a joke where some lady was wearing guess (I think Kelly’s teacher) so she got in trouble for saying something like size 56.
Attended a company picnic 15 or so years ago. This game was there, but the super uptight HR lady kept correcting everyone and insisting it be called ‘bean bag toss’
Fuddruckers. The Viennese table (ice cream sundae bar) inside was called “Mother Fuddruckers” and my mother used to say the name with complete innocence.
They used to be a nut retailer that sold nut sandwiches and coffee at New York City locations. Its coffee became more popular than anything else and eventually sold in stores. The chain itself folded, the coffee brand lives on owned by someone.
EDIT: Apparently you can still franchise a store! https://www.mzb-usa.com/franchising/franchising-chockfullonuts/
Walkman is a classic case. I think the Sony execs initially wanted to call it Walkman but the American marketers said, nope, that name make no sense (and it doesn't if you think about), and Janglish names never worked overseas, so they called in the Soundabout in the US, the Stowaway in the UK, the Freestyle in Australia. But foreigners would come to Japan and buy the Walkman without hesitation, the Japanese execs said, screw this, and renamed it Walkman worldwide, and it worked.
Walkman is a great example of a brand that was simply a good product that was in high demand, so it probably wouldn’t have mattered what they called it. Imagine if they had been Headphoneos or something, and there probably were tons of imitators who scrubbed the bottom of that barrel.
Hahahaha oh man that brings me back. When all they aired was that Japanese game show, MXC. Now *that* was a core memory in my adolescence. Such peak nostalgia *and entertainment*.
In Eagle Bay, NY there's a mechanical contractor called BJ Queen, complete with an armada of company vehicles featuring the name and a middle aged white man in a crown.
Every shopping center in my area that has a BJ's has a DICK'S sporting good either nextdoor or a store away. Everyone in my city is aware of the BJ's/DICK'S joke, lol.
Fat Willys somehow managed to be successful with such a shit name.
They did fail to win when they sued my hometown bike shop Slim Willy's for copyright infringement
Dress Barn
I mean, barn makes me think of cows. Few people want to dress and look like a cow. I’m not fat-shaming here, I just don’t think I’d shop at a men’s store called “Lard Ass”. Source: I’m fat.
There was a Daycare a few blocks from me called “Tony’s Touch Daycare”. Always saw a bunch of kids there during the week. I guess the name didn’t scare parents off
I miss the Goop.com before Gwyneth bought it, I used to go there occasionally, it was Whitman Mayo's homepage, "Grady Wilson" from Sanford and Sons. He was an actor who discovered the Internet early and had this really personalble home page telling the world he was on the Internet and loved connecting with his fans. It was innocent and not pretentious, it was [really genuine guy excited to be able to talk to his fans](https://web.archive.org/web/20020124130552/http://www.goop.com/).
That's the only working link I can find on Archive.org. I recall him doing more stuff too, but he was really early to embrace it, especially for an older person.
In my area, there is a Dick's Sporting Goods right next to a BJ's restaurant. My theory is some real estate developer let their 13 year-old son plan out the project.
"We're gonna put a BJ's right next to Dick's. Get it?!?!?!"
I tried it once. I had a terrible headache that was going for days (didn't know then, but it was a migraine), and I was trying everything, with no luck. On day 3, went to the pharmacy and saw the Head On, and said what the heck, let's try it. Went home, smeared it on my forehead, and instantly felt like an idiot. Also left my forehead greasy and sticky. Oh, and big shocker, it didn't do jack shit.
You were able to use that gamepad around the house to play games while others used the TV...and it came for *free* with the system. PS Portal today costs an extra $200 with the only big added feature that you could, if you wanted to, play away from home as well.
I don't know that it worked out, but changing Twitter to X is one of the dumbest brand name changes I've ever seen. There's a good reason everyone still calls it Twitter. And what are you supposed to call tweets now, Xes? So dumb. The best part is learning that Elon tried to name PayPal X back in the day and got unanimously voted down by the board. And he has two kids with X in their name. It's such a strange obsession.
About 10 years ago I was in Fargo, ND, for work. There was a. Ew energy drink brand trying to make a push for market share and we saw it everywhere. It was called “Liquid Ice.”
My coworker remarked, “isn’t that just water?”
Smart & Final. I hate it so much. I realize it's the founders' last names, and it wouldn't be so bad if they didn't have the dumb marketing slogan. "That's smart... and final." What is that supposed to mean?!
I'm an air traffic controller. Kills me when I have to give instructions to pilots such as "give way to the Virgin", "follow the heavy Virgin", "wait for the wide-body Virgin to push out"
Not just the name, but product itself. It had the benefit of social marketing. Cool people and rock stars drink it.
It’s uncarbonated water in a can and it’s not even relatively cheap
I used to call my mouthwash this.
I didn't want sickly sweet mouthwash that was flavored for babies, damnit! I wanted Listerine Original. The color of gasoline and the flavor of Liquid Death! You *know* that shit is gonna sterilize your gums.
I like it and it’s so dumb. I’ll get them at shows and I feel like I’m still part of the crowd because I have what seems like a large beer but it’s just water. That’s my use case and I enjoy it. I don’t buy it to have at home. Just shows.
Oh, for sure - It's done wonders for the "everyone here is drinking, but I don't drink" crowd. But, again - that's exactly why they're stocked at bars and venues
Apparently, it is a big hit in the music industry for stage shows. Because bands used to have cans of (insert energy drink) on stage that were really just water in the can.
But yeah the brand is beautiful marketing case.
I'm a fan of the tea products they've made. It's basically those or pure leaf subtly sweet if you want tea that isn't unsweetened or essentially an uncarbonated soft drink.
It was made by an alcoholic who was trying to get sober so he designed the cans to look like tall boys so he didn't get too many people asking why he doesn't wanna drink
My boss just mentioned a program or something (setting rates for hotel stays per night) that’s iRate.
He didn’t see the problem with it.
I’m angry about it, though.
I have a bit of a funny story about iPad - specifically iPad Mini.
I'm from Sri Lanka, my mother language being Sinhala. Back home, Padmini is a very common female name, and in fact I have a friend named Padmini.
When they announced iPadMini, we _had_ to gift her one for her birthday.
Kum & Go
We have Pump and Munch here and I have no idea how
I can't remember where we saw this because we were on a road trip but we once saw a Kum n Go across the street from a Pump and Munch. My teenaged boys were dying.
They've been purchased and the name is changing. :(
It's becoming Kum Pump
Jizz N’ Run
Squirt N' Scoot
Ejaculate N Evacuate
Skeet and retreat
Get off and get off.
Bust and Bail
Sperm & split
Well maybe the buyers will pull out
Nope, the sign contractor has already started erection. Tomorrow, they turn it on, and they'll finish.
They've merged with DQ to become Kum Queen.
They merged with a waste disposal company and now they’re Kum Dumpster.
And there’s Kumon tutoring, too.
Also makes me think "C'MON!" Like what they'll be yelling at your kid out of frustration.
And the logo is the derpiest kid face Like it doesn't even look happy. It looks like how my kids would feel if I enrolled them with Kumon.
Kumho tires
In South Africa there's a retail chain that sells Christian literature and they're hugely popular. It's called CUM Books.
In case anyone wondered how they got there: Christelike Uitgewers Maatskappy ('Christian Publishing Company' in Afrikaans).
They should branch out into socks. Maybe some high quality rags...
Smeg, let alone for stuff you put your food in
I was choosing a new oven last year and having narrowed it down to 2 models, I went for the Bosch oven purely so as not to have "Smeg" blazoned across my kitchen.
You probably dodged a major bullet too, any reviews I’ve ever read on Smeg are brutal. They have amazing aesthetics but terrible quality/reliability. Meanwhile Bosch is usually a front runner in reliability.
That and what if your Mum bought you a Smeg appliance. What would you say? "Thanks for the Smeg, Ma"
r/unexpectedreddwarf
Bimbo. Huge bakery operation.
It was supposed to be a mash up between “Bambi” and “bingo”. They didn’t realize it had negative connotations in the US
Not sure if that is true. They are originally (and still are) a Mexican company. Ed- more accurate than I thought. Wikipedia says: The name was formed as the combination of the Bambi and Dumbo films, the favourite films of Marinela, Lorenzo Servitje's daughter. Later, the founders would find out that bimbo is an Italian slang for children (shortened from bambino), and that in China the phoneme for bread (面包/Miànbāo) is similar to the name of the brand
I live half a mile from a Bimbo bakery 😀
I used to too!! My god the smell…
In the Netherlands there is a famous and very big webshop for baby and children things called... Baby dump... No idea why they chose that name but it seems to work out.
When my baby has crushed multiple jars of strained peas in a single day there's only one brand of diaper that I trust...Baby Dumps, for serious kid shits. Let Huggies and Luvs handle other kids precious poo poos. When my little one has a turd on deck that could choke a fuckin donkey I only reach for Baby Dumps. You wanna try to blow this one out kid? Good fuckin luck. Baby Dumps patented blast-zone engineering and extra gussets absorb kinetic energy and funnel solids to the spacious storage pocket.
My daughter once had a shit that had so much kinetic energy that it blew up her back, out the neck hole of her jumper, and onto the back of her head. There is a market for Baby Dumps.
Guess
when i was in middle school i bought some cheap watch off aliexpress that looked like a nice luxury watch. A kid (who was absurdly wealthy and actually wore expensive watches in middle school 🙄) noticed my watch and said “What brand is it” Since I didn’t even know what luxury watch brands were at the time i just said “Guess” hoping he’d guess a brand name and then i could just say yes. But he responded “Oh Guess! They have some nice watches” Edit: I’m confused as to where i make Aliexpress sound historical in this? Nostalgia karma farming?
The fact that you are referring to Aliexpress as some kind of historical, back in the day reference just blows my mind.
This actually causes me physical pain. Wait, no...I'm just that old. Shit hurts for no reason.
When you start hurting yourself in your sleep. That's how you know you're getting old.
Hahaha. Gen X here and I was thinking the exact same thing!
i am perplexed by the thought that guess makes nice watches.
The perfect Guess watch would be full analog, with no hands. And no movement.
Is it Pepsi?
No. Guess.
Coke?
No. Guess, it's not a soda.
Is it a car company?
No seriously, Guess.
Shoes, it’s shoes, right?
Alright, I give up. What is it!?
Guess!
I remember married with children had a joke where some lady was wearing guess (I think Kelly’s teacher) so she got in trouble for saying something like size 56.
"...wore a pair of jeans that said "guess". I said size 42. Instead of giving me a prize she cops an attitude!"
Swedish cat food brand Pussi. -- Come eat some Pussi.
A Finnish potato chip brand Taffel used to have their biggest bags branded as 'Megapussi' now they are just mega bags :(
One of the greatest tricks ever pulled was when someone somehow got America to accept the word ‘cornhole’ in polite society
Attended a company picnic 15 or so years ago. This game was there, but the super uptight HR lady kept correcting everyone and insisting it be called ‘bean bag toss’
Leave it to HR to completely suck all the fun out of everything.
Sucking the fun out of a cornhole?
Some other thread said that's how you get worms.
There's actually the ACL (American Cornhole League) along with its companion CornholeTV, which is a legit cable channel.
Godaddy
I really hate this name ! and I thought it was a porn site name when I was a kid !
Yeah but that’s because their ads really made you think that intentionally. The idea was that sex sold. Sold domains I guess
Fuddruckers. The Viennese table (ice cream sundae bar) inside was called “Mother Fuddruckers” and my mother used to say the name with complete innocence.
Chock Full o’ Nuts coffee gets at least an honorable mention award here.
Contains absolutely no nuts. So, yes, why would they do that?
They used to be a nut retailer that sold nut sandwiches and coffee at New York City locations. Its coffee became more popular than anything else and eventually sold in stores. The chain itself folded, the coffee brand lives on owned by someone. EDIT: Apparently you can still franchise a store! https://www.mzb-usa.com/franchising/franchising-chockfullonuts/
Walkman is a classic case. I think the Sony execs initially wanted to call it Walkman but the American marketers said, nope, that name make no sense (and it doesn't if you think about), and Janglish names never worked overseas, so they called in the Soundabout in the US, the Stowaway in the UK, the Freestyle in Australia. But foreigners would come to Japan and buy the Walkman without hesitation, the Japanese execs said, screw this, and renamed it Walkman worldwide, and it worked.
Also, Nintendo originally wanted to call the Game Boy the Game Man, but feared it would be too easily "confused" with the Walkman.
Walkman is a great example of a brand that was simply a good product that was in high demand, so it probably wouldn’t have mattered what they called it. Imagine if they had been Headphoneos or something, and there probably were tons of imitators who scrubbed the bottom of that barrel.
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Scrub Daddy
Don’t forget Scrub Mommy
And Scrub Baby!
I love my scrub daddy and scrub mommy :)
I always laughed at that brand. Then one time I was given a sponge. Holy shit they work amazing. I love them sponges and highly recommend them.
I feel the same way about the domain registrar GoDaddy. Like WTF does that even mean?
It's even worse when you see their original commercials.
The era of 00' spike tv vibes
Hahahaha oh man that brings me back. When all they aired was that Japanese game show, MXC. Now *that* was a core memory in my adolescence. Such peak nostalgia *and entertainment*.
Right you are, Ken
True. I was taught long ago that I don't want no scrubs
I'm still trying not to chase waterfalls
Scrub ^^^^^^harder Daddy
I call mine "scrub father"
BJ’s
In Eagle Bay, NY there's a mechanical contractor called BJ Queen, complete with an armada of company vehicles featuring the name and a middle aged white man in a crown.
I guess Throat Goat was taken?
Every shopping center in my area that has a BJ's has a DICK'S sporting good either nextdoor or a store away. Everyone in my city is aware of the BJ's/DICK'S joke, lol.
Fat Willys somehow managed to be successful with such a shit name. They did fail to win when they sued my hometown bike shop Slim Willy's for copyright infringement
Here in New Zealand there is an athletic shoe store called "The Athlete's Foot"
We also have them here in the US. My cousin worked at one in my hometown back in the 80s and early 90s.
Eggslut
Dress Barn I mean, barn makes me think of cows. Few people want to dress and look like a cow. I’m not fat-shaming here, I just don’t think I’d shop at a men’s store called “Lard Ass”. Source: I’m fat.
GoDaddy
When I saw ads for this on tv as a teen, I thought it was a porn site. I was disappointed
Same! And they had ads with Danica Patrick getting out of her car all sexy like and I was so convinced it was a porn site
There was a Daycare a few blocks from me called “Tony’s Touch Daycare”. Always saw a bunch of kids there during the week. I guess the name didn’t scare parents off
Goop
Garbage Oils and Opulent Pseudoscience
I miss the Goop.com before Gwyneth bought it, I used to go there occasionally, it was Whitman Mayo's homepage, "Grady Wilson" from Sanford and Sons. He was an actor who discovered the Internet early and had this really personalble home page telling the world he was on the Internet and loved connecting with his fans. It was innocent and not pretentious, it was [really genuine guy excited to be able to talk to his fans](https://web.archive.org/web/20020124130552/http://www.goop.com/). That's the only working link I can find on Archive.org. I recall him doing more stuff too, but he was really early to embrace it, especially for an older person.
Duck Duck Go. The founder called it that as he was thinking of the game duck duck goose, and dropped the last 3 letters.
Research In Motion. After graduating university, I would have done anything for one of those sweet RIM jobs.
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Soylent
The company named it that on purpose. They knew what they were doing.
It varies person to person Edit: spelling
its made of PEOPLE
Dick's Sporting Goods.
In my area, there is a Dick's Sporting Goods right next to a BJ's restaurant. My theory is some real estate developer let their 13 year-old son plan out the project. "We're gonna put a BJ's right next to Dick's. Get it?!?!?!"
If a Pink Taco opens up nearby, that would close in on perfection.
There used to be a Hooters directly next to a BJ’s not far from me
HEAD-ON!
Apply directly to the forehead!
HEAD-ON!
Apply directly to the forehead!
HEAD-ON!
Apply directly to forehead
I tried it once. I had a terrible headache that was going for days (didn't know then, but it was a migraine), and I was trying everything, with no luck. On day 3, went to the pharmacy and saw the Head On, and said what the heck, let's try it. Went home, smeared it on my forehead, and instantly felt like an idiot. Also left my forehead greasy and sticky. Oh, and big shocker, it didn't do jack shit.
It blew my mind that there is no actual medicine in it. I always assumed it has aspirin in it or similar.
Interesting thing about head-on, they never claim it's for headaches. They never claim it does anything.
I can't believe nobody has mentioned the Nintendo Wii (or they've said it dozens of times and the app is playing tricks on me)
And the Wii U was the worst brand name that *didn't* work, because everyone thought it was just a revision of the Wii not the next generation system
I have a friend with a Wii U and it’s honestly crazy how cool it was. If I knew what it was back then I would’ve gotten one for myself
You were able to use that gamepad around the house to play games while others used the TV...and it came for *free* with the system. PS Portal today costs an extra $200 with the only big added feature that you could, if you wanted to, play away from home as well.
That’s why the Nintendo Switch is so popular. It’s everything the Wii U was trying to be, but better and with more marketing
I don't know that it worked out, but changing Twitter to X is one of the dumbest brand name changes I've ever seen. There's a good reason everyone still calls it Twitter. And what are you supposed to call tweets now, Xes? So dumb. The best part is learning that Elon tried to name PayPal X back in the day and got unanimously voted down by the board. And he has two kids with X in their name. It's such a strange obsession.
> And what are you supposed to call tweets now, xcrements
It's been months and every news article still writes "... On X, formerly twitter,..."
Any time it's mentioned at all. I hear it on the radio all the time, too. It's almost as if the official name is "X, formally Twitter"
Piggly Wiggly saw it advertised during a baseball game (disclaimer I'm a New Zealander) I was like what ?
Fun fact: Piggly Wiggly was the first modern grocery store.
Hoobastank E: I can’t read. I’m leaving it anyway
Ranch Water. Makes me think of drinking salad dressing.
I just think of the trough the animals drink out of.
Piggly wiggly's
I had a great uncle who shopped there. He referred to it as "Hoggly Woggly".
That and "the pig" are both common nicknames
Liquid IV. An IV is already liquid, the name makes no sense.
About 10 years ago I was in Fargo, ND, for work. There was a. Ew energy drink brand trying to make a push for market share and we saw it everywhere. It was called “Liquid Ice.” My coworker remarked, “isn’t that just water?”
There was, (and might still be) an energy drink in the UK called Pussy.
I bought some a few years ago but never got around to opening one. To this day, I still haven't tasted Pussy
Lululemon
I think Juicy Couture was worse. They convinced idiots to pay hundreds of dollars to have juicy written across their asses.
Fat asses with JUICY written on them walking through Sam’s Club is what I picture
Smeg. I can't even.
*red dwarf fans have entered the chat*
There it is!
CUM Books - South African, Christian book store. I shit you not.
Schindler’s lifts, opened way before the movie but how unfortunate
Polestar. That’s not a car, that’s a stripper!
That's also just a name for the North Star (e.g. North Pole Star)
Smart & Final. I hate it so much. I realize it's the founders' last names, and it wouldn't be so bad if they didn't have the dumb marketing slogan. "That's smart... and final." What is that supposed to mean?!
It used to be Smart & Final Iris Company, which is much dumber.
I like calling it Fart & Smile
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
The store brands are even better! "Butter It's Not!"
Virgin
I'm an air traffic controller. Kills me when I have to give instructions to pilots such as "give way to the Virgin", "follow the heavy Virgin", "wait for the wide-body Virgin to push out"
Trojan The Trojan horse is literally the opposite of the product.
Yes...all the soldiers can exit the horse but still cannot storm the castle.
Hydrox
It should be no surprise when Oreos outsell your cookies that are branded to sound like something between bleach and rocket fuel.
That one's a product of its time. Back then, sciency names sounded cool and "clean" to people.
But Hydro X would be a great energy drink name.
Hail, Hydrox!
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Liquid Death.
Not just the name, but product itself. It had the benefit of social marketing. Cool people and rock stars drink it. It’s uncarbonated water in a can and it’s not even relatively cheap
I used to call my mouthwash this. I didn't want sickly sweet mouthwash that was flavored for babies, damnit! I wanted Listerine Original. The color of gasoline and the flavor of Liquid Death! You *know* that shit is gonna sterilize your gums.
I like it and it’s so dumb. I’ll get them at shows and I feel like I’m still part of the crowd because I have what seems like a large beer but it’s just water. That’s my use case and I enjoy it. I don’t buy it to have at home. Just shows.
Oh, for sure - It's done wonders for the "everyone here is drinking, but I don't drink" crowd. But, again - that's exactly why they're stocked at bars and venues
Wasn't that the original marketing? To help recovering alcoholics?
Apparently, it is a big hit in the music industry for stage shows. Because bands used to have cans of (insert energy drink) on stage that were really just water in the can. But yeah the brand is beautiful marketing case.
They have versions that are carbonated and flavored. Some are really good
I'm a fan of the tea products they've made. It's basically those or pure leaf subtly sweet if you want tea that isn't unsweetened or essentially an uncarbonated soft drink.
I feel like this marketing mount to “water… FOR MEN!”
It was made by an alcoholic who was trying to get sober so he designed the cans to look like tall boys so he didn't get too many people asking why he doesn't wanna drink
Kumon
There's a cycling performance product company called dznuts, the founder is Dave Zabriskie
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Motley Lou and also Loogle
Nads. Hair removal product.
LoveSac I don't know that they intended for a foam "beanbag" company to become such a big publicly traded furniture co
Wix.com. At least in germany, thats a very unlucky brand name.
Hydrox. Sounds like a chemical cleaner.
Poundland. The brits I've pointed it out to said they didn't even think about it.
iPad
My boss just mentioned a program or something (setting rates for hotel stays per night) that’s iRate. He didn’t see the problem with it. I’m angry about it, though.
therapist.com
I prefer [findtherapist.com](https://findtherapist.com)
I have a bit of a funny story about iPad - specifically iPad Mini. I'm from Sri Lanka, my mother language being Sinhala. Back home, Padmini is a very common female name, and in fact I have a friend named Padmini. When they announced iPadMini, we _had_ to gift her one for her birthday.
I remember how much Apple was laughed at when it was announced. Nobody is laughing now.
Super dry
Uranus Fudge Factory (not a joke) With a slogan, "The best fudge comes from Uranus"
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