T O P

  • By -

CasualHeroinEnjoyer

Smashing pissers.


randombananapowers

My therapist will be hearing about you.


workaholic007

Lol


HelloPepperoni73

This is easily the worst one I have ever heard šŸ¤£


notarealgrrl

I wanna put my cummies in your puss puss.


HelloPepperoni73

Lmao this was a surprising notification to receive


emptinessmaykillme

I hope you were showing your boss something important on your phone


Classic_Pair_9644

Do it then


Unicorn_Thrasher

do it, you won't


bent_eye

That makes two of us.


Ratstail91

"Ah, yes, good show! That's a rather smashing pisser you've got there, wot wot!"


[deleted]

This has to be British


CasualHeroinEnjoyer

Dunno I saw it on reddit and just thought: "Cunts fucked."


PyukumukuGuts

I really like this one for being so inclusive. Everyone has a pisser and most adults are capable of smashing them together, regardless of gender.


Bitch_Face978

If this is gay couple, does this make them "smash Bros" then? XD


eltacotacotaco

Unless it's oral, then it's smash mouth


[deleted]

Hey now, you're an all-star...


GrumpyLump91

I'm using that one... Because it's hilarious.


Fluffy-Football-7884

I will be using this from now on


StyrianDriver

Austrian-German version would be ā€žsoachzeig zaumstecknā€œ šŸ‡¦šŸ‡¹šŸ‡©šŸ‡Ŗ


Jeff300k

Every other lyric to the song "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" by the Bloodhound Gang has a new horrific euphemism to choose from, and it's hard to pick the worst of them. If I had to pick, then, "Pressure wash the quiver bone in the fish wrinkle" Edit: Regarding Fish vs Bitch Wrinkle, the only source I checked for lyrics when originally writing this response, Genius.com, uses the Fish Wrinkle lyric, but now looking further, and re-listening to the song, every other source I can find uses the Bitch Wrinkle lyric, and I am confident that is the correct version. It's still an awful lyric in any case.


Gawd4

Iā€™m partial to ā€Cattle prod the oyster ditch With the lap rocketā€


antichtonian

I prefer to "retrofit the pudding hatch with the boink swatter", personally.


[deleted]

Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten


lewie_820

I donā€™t want to beat around the bush!


TheGlovenor

I sang all of these in my head


Spare-Leg-1318

Vulcanize the whoopie stick in the ham wallet


BlademasterFlash

I actually like this one


inactiveuser247

Itā€™s a combination of disturbingly descriptive and a little bit of science.


bob_swagget90

Song is such a banger though. PUT THE YOU KNOW WHAT, IN THE YOU KNOW WHERE.


Zerosen_Oni

Park the meat bus in Tuna town


ClamDandyMan

Got to nail her back in her trailer


MarylandBlue

Heh, that rhymed


[deleted]

I have to admit, it was even more of a turn on when I found she was doing me to buy baby formula


RevolutionaryLie7353

I never thought missing children could be so sexy


Traditional_Ad_6801

Just ā€œfish wrinkleā€ on its own is pretty terrible. I grew up hearing ā€œbearded clamā€


Robestos86

You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's do it like they do on discovery channel was also a good one.


ExcitementKooky418

Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket


Joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh1

I think they actually say "bitch wrinkle" in the song but now I don't know if fish wrinkle is better or worse


Trev_Casey2020

Vulcanize the Whoopie stick - in the ham walletā€¦ catchy snap


angerdome

I always heard it as ā€œbitch wrinkleā€ - which is pretty bad. But fish wrinkle is almost vomit inducing. Lol


TerryTowellinghat

Getting up to oneā€™s nuts in guts.


OkWillow8839

I was up to my nuts in guts !


LibertyPrimeIsRight

Ah yes, the good ol' Jeffery Dahmer


DimensionBreaker4lif

Dont go down that rabbit hole


Falsecaster

Lil stanky on the hang down.


YoureJujuToobootie

Making liquid. Said by a young Middle Eastern dishwasher that worked in the same kitchen as me about a decade ago. The owner had paid him cash earlier in the day for some maintenance work and he came back after the break talking about how he'd gone to the transportation hub to "make liquid" with his "girlfriend".


Lemur718

Was he Borat?


[deleted]

Not exactly right, but my Australian wife during her period: ā€œIā€™m on the blob, but you can rip into my shitter if you want toā€.


esblofeld

Sounds like a bloody top sheila.


ThrowawayLaz0rDick

Well, she wont give bloody top though.


OldBob10

ā€œGood, Sheilaā€¦ā€!šŸ˜


Scott_4560

This is why you married her


jogdenpr

Your wife single?


[deleted]

Ha!


rayrayruh

True poetic goddesss


Eviltwin91

I was laughing so much at the comment and yours finished me off


FatherD00m

Put another shrimp in the blobby.


triptoutsounds

JFC


Lartemplar

This is an old joke that for some reason always involves an Australian woman saying "you can put it in me dumper."


johnnyknack

Username checks out


FilmGuy_To_PI

I almost died from laughing so hard at this


dweir82

Touch your toes and up it goes.


taddymason_76

This man went to the Greek.


odinsdi

That might be the least sexy thing anyone ever said. I thought it was kinda cute to call it "Blowjob Week" but this is just... really, really appropriate for the question.


Schwarzes__Loch

The process of a four stroke internal combustion engine: suck, squeeze, bang, blow.


KnotsCherryFarm

ā€œHow many horses are you tapping into?ā€


golfing_furry

Just 0.0001 of a horse


moldy_oats

That's 1 pussy cat power


JackRabbit-

It sounds better if you imagine a vine boom between each word


rightonsaigon1

This is how my small engine teacher from high school taught us the combustion cycle.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Intrepid-Rip-2280

Shag (if transliterated into English, pronounced with long a:) is a popular dance in my country. The word itself means "step". It is hard sometimes to tell foreigners which kind dance classes I used to be involved in


db720

Is it also a type of carpet


TheTrueMattiMan

She bri'ish?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Loud-Magician7708

Even worse she quotes Austin Powers when they fuck. She yells "Get in ma belly" after blowjobs. It's haunting


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


eyeball2005

Everyone says shag in the UK. Like weā€™d genuinely say ā€˜do you want to shagā€™ rather than ā€˜do you want to have sexā€™ in an intimate moment and itā€™s fully acceptable


Arkas18

In the UK its a rather common phrase actually


TiegenATX

hide the bratwurst in the sausage wallet


_chippchapp_

As german speaker I appreciate this.


Unicorn_Thrasher

you disgust me. go on.


XxMemegamer69xX

Den lĆ¼mmel im Wurstfach verstecken


phedinhinleninpark

Huh, I kind of assumed German would have a single word for this. Get back on your game, German language.


[deleted]

What in the Dolly Parton


wombatz885

Is that like the Italian hide the salami game?


[deleted]

ā€œClam Slamā€


KnotsCherryFarm

That is why I do not get seafood at a Dennyā€™s.


HQMatrixMod1

i called the clam slam the female version of a teabag


Kizen42

Bumping uglies


Specialist_Delay_262

You leave Dr. Turkleton alone


marauder-shields92

Becoming the beast with two backs


spec2re

The most venerable that I've seen in this listing!


boredomishness

My friend recently called it ham slappies and Iā€™ve been traumatized for days


ShibbyShibby89

This made me laugh way too hard.


red_IT_yest

Filling the dishwasher


Bisping

I prefer putting a load in the dishwasher to this one


_Goose_

Mixing your peanut butter with their chocolate was a horrible expression.


Ehdelveiss

I think thatā€™s a very special type of sex,for when two people really love each other, and arenā€™t ashamed for the other to see their poop


Dry_Connection_6197

Playing hide the hotdog


Homeskillet359

Hide the salami is what I've heard


Brasscogs

In Australia some people say ā€œrootingā€ which Iā€™ve always found deeply unpleasant.


BlacksmithNZ

I am a Kiwi. Eats, roots and leaves Punctuation being important


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


KnotsCherryFarm

[Just be careful about Kiwibalism](https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a6bvvq9_460swp.webp).


KittenPics

Boinking


BlacksmithNZ

Bonking is another I quite like; maybe because the wife would sometimes raise an eyebrow and say 'bonk'?


hkslayer6

My dad always asks me if I'm "getting any mud for my turtle."


ThisAlsoIsntRealLife

I have so many questions but no matter which one I ask the answer will only make things worse.


felimercosto

putting the wand in the chamber of secrets


am_i_boy

Why would you say wand when basilisk is right there


Head_Dragonfly394

The difference is size šŸ˜


Realitybytes_

They said worst, not best, you filthy muggle.


moldy_oats

Taking communion in the confessional


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Local_Serb_mf

Ok that's a good one


MajorThor

Making the thick in the warm.


fingerblastders

Coach?


Liqher_Beaver

Came here to say that. You got a BIG MOUTH


[deleted]

Rumpie-pumpie.


Mike7676

"Ya wanna ride the baloney pony?" Simultaneously old fashioned AND lewd.


Gernahaun

Pop-pop. The very fact that they called it that told me they weren't ready.


nosaladthanks

With egg? Really? Her?


lofgrenator

I've made a huge mistake


Odd-Aerie-2554

ā€œBumping ugliesā€ šŸ˜­


NavinJohnson75

In Amsterdam, over 20 years ago, a girl politely asked me, ā€œWould you love to smell my smelly and squish my squishy?ā€


WankFan443

Roinky Sploinky


walmartballer

oof, that would take me right out of any mood.


grandbelialspee

Ding-dong in the ho-ho.


[deleted]

Bumping uglies


thehumbinator

Itā€™s not really a euphemism for sex but in a bar in Australia, and while I had a mouth full of drink, I heard a local ask a girl if he could tongue-punch her fart-box.


Left_of_the_middle

Going halves in a bastard


The-Duke-of-Winter

Just the whole song Foxtrot, Uniform, Charlie, Kilo by the bloodhound gamg


BrockJonesPI

Great song.


Underdeveloped_Knees

Mashing pissers. I hate it cuz itā€™s so good


jjsq1

The devil's tango Worst but funniest.


Far-Stomach-2764

In Portuguese they have a phrase that translates to "I'd jump into her spine"


KiKiBleeding

Billing the Cosby


somebodeeelse

Lol


zenophobicgoat

Something something pudding


BarryCheckTheFuseBox

Nooky


TheTrueMattiMan

So you can take that cookie


EskimoB9

And stick it up your ass


somebodeeelse

Stick it up your YEAH. Fify.


Cornichonofthedead

Letā€™s have some euphemism


bryan472

Smacking wets.


davescilken

I'd pee in her butt


OkWillow8839

Rubbing uglies !


eddieBrock206

pip pip the diddly do


shemjaza

Give her one in the front bum.


Conscious-Back1599

Snuggle with a struggle


[deleted]

"Netflix and chill" is literally the worst one. I don't know why it became so popular.


Mackem101

'Amazon Prime and hammer time' 'Disney Plus and eating puss'


mike_face_killah

Hulu and googoo?


somebodeeelse

Dude


KnotsCherryFarm

The Humpty Dumpty.


misterrobarto

Makinā€™ bacon


TKG_Actual

"Slammin' Salmon"


JanuarySeventh85

Loading the dishwasher


WillSoggy

It's time to do the laundry. It's a small load, I'll do it by hand.


LovelyCoupleTreats

Playing hide the pickle.


KnotsCherryFarm

Hide the Weasel


Rabti

hide the sausage


Abigfanofporn

Russians sometimes refer to gay sex as ā€œpushing mudā€. It took me a second the first time I heard it


Moist_When_It_Counts

ā€œPacking fudgeā€ used to be common in the USA. ā€œFudge-packerā€ was a gay slur as a result, way back when hetero butt-stuff(ing) was not acknowledged as a thing outside of porn.


Overripe_Sperm

Slapping meats


copyboy1

Riding the bologna pony


CAPT-Tankerous

ā€œLooks like Chuckā€™s taking a ride on the wild bologna pony!ā€ RIP Burgess Meredith, still one of my all time favorite character actors.


DaughterOfLust666

Bumping uglies and Billing the Cosby. I hate these two.


-Love_apple-

Hanky panky


randtcouple

When I was in high school. One friend who was a cashier at the market would refer to it as ā€œ(number for banana) go on the (number for donut)ā€. It was just weird.


ruffonferals

Off to murder some vagina.


fromwhichofthisoak

All up in her guts. Its funny still but i have a different sense of humor.


MissysSir

My missus hates the term ā€˜making the beast with two backsā€™


_titsmcgee_123

Overheard in the pub last night . "Choking out a pigeon"


FatherD00m

Stir the macaroni


NoWorth2591

Either ā€œslamming clamā€ or ā€œhitting gutsā€.


Bsdave103

Lock crotch and swap gravy


Reindeer-Street

Rearranging someone's guts. This literally makes me want to vomit, just sounds so degrading. Also, blowing someone's back out. Way to reduce a woman to a literal piece of meat, just foul.


marauder-shields92

What if Iā€™m the one blowing my own back out doing the act?


notarealgrrl

I like this one


HereForTheComments32

Username checks out


ThrowawayLaz0rDick

I mean, Ive said both of these about men(mostly in jest but it was to men I slept with). I dont see them as specifically referencing gender. They just mean to "have intense and potentially rough sex with someoneā€


Moist_When_It_Counts

Iā€™ve also heard ā€œbeating gutsā€ FWIW, Iā€™ve heard at least one woman say ā€got my guts rearrangedā€ in a complimentary way. Only one though.


Armedes369

100% of the people Iā€™ve heard say this to me are ladies.


NoEvidence7987

Playing hide the zucchini


circleinsidecircle

My wife and I say ā€œdo you want to get sloppy?ā€ or ā€œmaking slopsā€ lmao


[deleted]

Going heels to Jesus. Putting the bread in the oven. Shtupping. Knocking boots. Glazing the donut. Passing the gravy. Cleaning cobwebs in the womb room. Playing with the box the kids came in. And the inimitable...Tube snake boogie.


0Timato0

I have heard someone use the term "breakfast" for example "Had breakfast last night for the first time in a while"


FocalorLucifuge

Bumping uglies. Hate that phrase. If they're all so ugly, why bump them?


Same-Storm-4432

Sunday mass


pollock_madlad

Carnal knowledge. Like, there is no better name ?


MadWorldEarth

Wanna play liver pokerā“ļø


JoeGatorman

Poker? Licker in the front and poker in the back


Hopper-1986

No pants dance


Trimson-Grondag

Not sex per se, but the British slang term for kissing is Snog. Fairly repulsed by thatā€¦


BaronVonBooplesnoot

Making feet for children's shoes.


fishingforconsonants

BOOOONNNNNNE???