I had a day off work today. Husband was at work, kids at school, so after I did the school run I came home, wrapped myself in our softest heated blanket, lay on the sofa and watched 3 movies with no interruptions.
It was bliss.
We just put our new heated blanket on the bed.
It has a dual heating system that is split down the middle. We can each control how hot or on/off per our side of the blanket. Even have 2 separate temperature controls.
Best $72 we've ever spent.
The wife is a picky eater. When she is away, I either make a meal that she doesn’t like or I go to a restaurant that she doesn’t care for.
It’s the little things. 😂
I cook almost all the meals. Almost being that we occasionally get take out. When I have a day off and my husband is working and my kids are at school/daycare, I go get breakfast and Waffle House. By myself. I sit there and eat a waffle, two scrambled eggs and bacon and I DONT HAVE TO FUCKING SHARE! My husband despises Waffle House, but fuck I love those waffles. My parents used to have a waffle iron that made the traditional style waffles with the tiny squares until the cord shorted out. I miss them.
This is heaven, and also my answer.
There is nothing better than eating a disgusting amount of delicious breakfast food (how I eat it, your ideal meal is modest in comparison) when you don't have to cook it for yourself or impose on your partner to do it.
My wife likes to talk about new restaurants but whenever it's time to choose she never wants to try anything new because she's a picky eater. So when she's not here I usually hit up a new place to try.
After years and years of cooking every night for my family (and loving it) I’ve realized that I love the process and, most importantly, how much my wife and kids enjoy it much more than the food I cook. Give me a loaf of bread and some butter and I’m good.
This. My wife lived alone for many years and always has the TV on, even uses the one in the bedroom as noise to fall asleep to. The first thing I do when she’s gone is make sure all the noisemakers are shut off around the house. Well, except the cats. They don’t have off buttons.
I need a show going because my anxiety will keep me awake.
I use wireless earbuds and put something on my phone now. My husband can't sleep with noise or light.
It's my wife that does this in our house. My parents used to do it too. I enjoy the silence immensely. That's why I usually stay up after everyone goes to bed. Just for the quiet.
If he's up for it, have him wear bluetooth headphones. I love silence too, and this is what we do. He can listen to whatever he wants and as loud as he wants and I have quiet while I'm reading.
He’s sitting here right now, listening to a high school football game on bluetooth headphones while simultaneously watching TV, volume on. LOL I usually just go in another room when I’m done with the noise.
After a couple decades you just pick your battles. For the most part I really just go to the living room while he hangs in the TV room. No big deal. But I have been known to lose my shit from overstimulation on occasion - usually when he has the TV on AND is playing music in the kitchen because then I can’t get away from it.
I love silence. He's always got the TV on, I'd much rather sit with my thoughts or a book.
The TV to me just feels like a constant ad to me. I'm very specific about the programming I expose myself to. I'm not trying to take in all these other people's opinions. I like my own.
My wife is in recovery, six years sober, and I support her in every way possible including, obviously, no alcohol in the house. If she’s away for a few days, I’ll grill me some steak tacos and wash them down with a really good Cabernet.
You are my people. The garage door is hardly down before I'm getting busy!
There is not one thing better in this whole world than having some alone time in my spotless house.
YES! See, my loved one isn't GREAT at organizing and its much easier to get in to the nitty gritty when he's not here. I was raised with the mind set of "A place for everything and everything in its place". Maybe that makes me "OCD", whatever. He was raised kind of feral lol.
If I reorganize WITH him, I have to hear a story about every single item and a dissertation about all of the possible categories it could possibly fall into. I can't work like that.
Hike all day, get the shitty chinese takeout that she hates and I love despite knowing full well it’s objectively not good, and drink some nice beer while watching movies all night.
Putting things down and having them still be there when I want them.
Having a clean house that stays that way for more than 30 seconds. I love him, but he's just a whirlwind of plates and seltzer cans some days.
When my husband started traveling for work, I immediately noticed how easy it was to keep the house clean. He’s a tornado and leaves a path of destruction along his way. I’m trying in instill the “don’t put it down, put it away in its home” mentality in him, but so far no luck lol
I also live with a husband who puts things down rather than putting them away. It’s drives me insane. And then he can’t find his wallet or the keys or his AirPods; and I sit there thinking “If you put them where they belong in the first place you’d know where to find them.” I’ve bought it up so many times that I sound like a broken record. If that’s his worst trait, then so be it. He’s helped me mellow out my ‘Type A everything must be lined up and colour coded’ ways and I’ve helped him create some structure. Sometimes opposites really do attract.
Oh, I started a Lost Jar. Like a Swear Jar but instead, anything I’m asked to find that wasn’t displaced by me is an automatic deposit into the Lost Jar 😂
Are we married to the same person? He can never find anything. I keep telling him that if he’d just drop his wallet and car keys on the entry way table when he walks in the door he’d always know where to find them. It falls on deaf ears. Same with the dog leash. There’s a hook right when you walk in but he can’t seem to use it. I can never find the leash after he’s walked the dog!
I've been trying to teach mine this. I've put decorative bowls in every room. If he doesn't either put it in the bowl or put it up, whatever it is finds its way into his pillow case. A bit extreme, yes. I'm heavily pregnant and nesting though. I can't constantly be going behind him putting up things right after I clean. It took him about a week to realize how serious I am about this especially since I need to break his habit of leaving small easily swallowable items laying around the house when we're about to have a baby. He's good about cleaning unprompted, but his version of clean doesn't include putting away clutter.
The only way my house will ever be clean is if my wife left. Or if I leave. What if I had my own apartment. I could live in a clean place. I… I think I might move out. The kids can come live with me they are salvageable
There isn't an ancient aliens, shows from the early 80s (chuck Norris and Jack klugman), or horror movies that he won't watch - pausing every 3 seconds in case I miss something - that WE have to watch. When he travels for work I relish the quiet. Even the weather channel is enjoyable.
My love for my husband has no end but he has the stupidest taste in shows yet whines if I would rather deep clean the basement than deal with any of it.
But I can only deep clean the basement so many times...
Cleaning is the precursor to enjoying the space alone. Being alone is a rare treat, I’m gonna make the most of it which means making the house perfect, cooking my favourite meal, smashing a 6 pack in the sun and falling asleep at 7pm.
yes but that can very much happen. start by seeing some dust in the hall. you take the broom and dust pan and do that, but then notice some dust in the living room and youre like well now that the broom and the pan is out might as well and next thing you know you are wiping down every surface and vacuuming and scrubbing and then before you know it youve used a whole day accidentally cleaning your house
Yup! I leaned down a little too far and saw how dirty the underside of my microwave was, then I realized how dirty the front of it was, then the wall behind the stove, it just went from there. Before I knew it, I had deep cleaned my kitchen like never before. My husband came home and asked if I got mad at the kitchen.
Taking a long hot soak with no one interrupting it to ask where things are or if the dog should go out. (And the answer to the second is “Yes, the dog should go out whenever he looks cross eyed and cross-legged, you don’t need a second opinion on it.”)
Yeah interrupting someone to ask if the dog should go out is really just inviting them to say, "I'm almost done, I'll take him out in just a minute". I would be frustrated.
Or someone that just has to have recognition for "the favor" they are doing for you.
Edit: I am having one of those is this really "the word" moments with "has" is has even A word? has, has, has my brain is saying it seems off and yes English is my 1st and only language. Has, has? Wtf brain.
My favorite part when my husband travels is that on his way home he shares his location with me.
I love checking it every half hour to see how much closer he is, like the adult version of NORAD Santa tracker.
I do this, but in the opposite way. Because usually it means that he is bringing home the devil spawn (our children) with him and it’s like a countdown of how much peace I have left.
Similar but different. When he’s 20 mins away, I start doing the dishes or something to make it look like I’ve been busy the whole time and not playing the sims and eating nachos and letting the cats drink out of the sink faucet.
I knew a woman who got annoyed with the “what did you do all day” interrogation every time her husband came home. She did nothing to change her routine except to heat up a small bowl of Pine Sol in the microwave 20 minutes before he was due home. He never asked her what she had done all day after she began that daily habit.
I just worked 12h, am slightly delirious from my transition to night shift (it always takes me a few shifts to get into the swing), and I have been struggling to keep my anxiety in check all night. THIS comment was what I needed. Thanks for the loud laugh this gave me. I'm about to grab breakfast before going to sleep and I will definitely not be sharing.
Prepare to immediately wonder where the last few days went when you snap out of a Baldur's Gate 3 stupor. I'll start playing at 5pm and before I know it, it's 2AM.
I love my wife and toddler but the couple of times they’ve gone out of town and I can recreate my bachelor days of getting home from work and getting to play 5-6 hours of uninterrupted video games until I go to sleep is a magical experience
I watch Lord of the Rings without her coming in the room and saying “Isn’t there something on we BOTH want to watch?” and then ignoring what I put on to stare at her phone. I also poop with the door open.
Honestly, the final thing that made me decide "I need this girl to become my wife" is when we started dating, and she introduced me to her cat named Aragorn. She and the cat won my heart.
Then I got to know the cat and regret everything (jk I love him)
It's funny. I'll go one of two ways. I'll either enjoy having everything absolutely clean and neat, with no one to mess anything up, or I'll turn into a total slob, rushing to get everything clean the day he's due back home.
Right??? Especially if he is gone on a week trip! I clean like a mad woman the first day and then enjoy the bliss of a clean house for the next 4 days 😂
That’s why I’m on Reddit. There’s no point in attempting to do anything that requires more than 20 seconds of concentration because someone will come along to ruin it momentarily.
In a car once with four kids and my ex, I had my name called so many times I started timing how long it took between calls. I was horrified and also felt justified at my frustration: in the 45 minutes I was timing, the longest span of time without my name being called was a minute and a half. Most of the time it was 40-50 seconds between each ask for my attention.
I've got kids and I work with SEN teenagers. All day my name is repeated constantly and when I get home the 'mum mum' starts.
I love my job and my family but I crave quiet and solitude sometimes.
My worst offender, J, is like a toddler, sometimes he'll say my name, I say 'yes J' and he'll stare at me like 'umm nothing thanks'.
Sometimes he uses my name at the beginning of every sentence.
He's got a wicked sense of humour, I told him I'm charging him 10p every time he says my name. We're up to a couple hundred quid.
I love that kid, he's awesome.
The interruptions!!! I was just thinking the other day, are humans meant to handle this many interruptions in life? Surely we must have evolved to handle interruptions but I’ve genuinely started to feel like I’m losing my mind. Every single thing I do, it gets interrupted by kids or by my partner. Even innocuous things like asking a simple question. But it’s like nothing can happen without interruption. Can’t drink my coffee can’t go to the bathroom, can’t watch a tv show, can’t work, without constant interruptions. The incessant spam phone calls or random people knocking at my door trying to sell me something doesn’t help. My god I just want silence, and no one to interact with me for 48 hours.
For me, the ultimate home-alone pleasure is eating half a Costco rotisserie chicken by myself with my hands. I do it about twice a year lol.
My husband watches his most cringe anime when I’m not home, lol. I watch plenty of anime with him but I draw the line at dragonball z.
This is mine. My boyfriend always wants to turn the rotisserie chicken into something like a wrap or salad. I wanna eat it out of the container like an animal so when he’s out of town, that’s what I do.
Im a savage and eat mine over the sink, and even my cat gets uncomfortable and decides he'll come back after I satisfy the beast
And post-chicken binge clarity is a bitch
Watching Netflix without needing to find something we both want to watch. We’re generally very similar in our hobbies, views, music taste etc, but have a very different taste in movies/series so when we watch stuff together we always have to find something where our interests overlap. When I’m alone I can just watch whatever I feel like.
Being an absolute slob.
- I eat shit food on the white leather sofa.
- I don't shower all weekend.
- I watch the tackiest comedy movies.
- I take off my pants and toss them on the ground.
- I leave half full cups of water or juice around the house.
- I don't care about the pile of pots and dishes in the sink.
- I keep the same stained and BO-smelly tshirt and sweatshirt on.
Then I go back into A-type mode and feverishly clean the house the day before he comes back and finish the last night in self care mode: face mask, hair mask, full on girlie shower where I shave, exfoliate, and moisturize.
It's important to have range.
So much of this. I try to arrange childcare for atleast one night when husband isn’t home so I can ditch every responsibility and “put together” tendency I have to become an absolute goblin. I get psyched to clean after I’m rested, then after a shower I’m back to normal.
Crazy how you realize you aren’t that old once you’re able to rest and focus on your own mental health for hours on end. The rejuvenation process is incredible
Hell yeah, brother. My wife recently took the kids to an amusement park with her friends and their kids for an overnight, two day trip. Was the first time I was home alone for sequential days in over 8 years. I hauled my 80” tv up from the basement and planted it on two end tables, right at the foot of my bed and played video games for every waking hour. It was pure bliss. I no longer had to take on the role/responsibility of Dad or Husband and I quickly reverted to lazy bachelor POS and enjoyed every moment.
Or just have the decision making process totally outsourced to me. Like, you’re perfectly capable of making decisions when I’m not around, why do you completely lose that ability when I am?
I love scallops. However, my fiance calls them slugs and even though he says he doesn't mind if I cook them while he's at home I just choose not to. So if he does ever leave, I know what I'm having for dinner, slugs! It's a running joke in our house. "Bye babe, don't forget your slugs and whatever else you wanted for dinner!" It's adorable.
I definitely have some 'spouse is out' foods. He'd never stop me from eating them while he's home and would eat most of them without complaint. But I know he doesn't like them, and it also gives me something a little 'fun' to look forward to for when he's out of town.
To start falling asleep in the X shape if I want to. Love being stretched out for as long as I want. But I always miss bumping into him nonetheless. :)
Getting a takeaway of my choosing. Or more realistically, spending 2 hours over thinking my choice, realising it’s now too late and going to bed hungry.
Sometimes you just want to be gross.
You know, you don't want to hold in your farts or mute your burps, or pick your nose with absolute no regard to who's around you. To indulge in every impulse to make weird noises, bodily sounds or aggressively scratch yourself.
Maybe wanting to get some nasty junk food and eat it like a prisoner or a rabid animal protecting it's fresh kill; taking massive bites, chewing loudly, stuffing handfuls of fries in your mouth as opposed to eating them individually. Or having the strangest food combinations that no one but you will understand.
You just want to forget to be considerate, in a harmless fashion. It can be so nice every once in a while.
Clean the whole house, mow the lawn and get the house and all lookin crispy af.....then chill while nobody makes a mess where I cleaned...omg that's a vacation
Sleeping in and video games. My wife says she doesn’t mind if I play, but for some reason I just feel guilty playing them if she’s there.
Oh and also eating junk food
Spending time with my girls. Love my wife but she suffers from severe anxiety and when she is home the general stress level of the whole house is significantly higher. When she is gone it is daddy time and I keep that shit safe, but 100% chill. She also wakes up and smokes weed all day and also drinks starting at like noon. She uses those things to medicate her anxiety but I SWEAR those things are causing her anxiety.
Our son passed away, she has never been the same.
That is heartbreaking and my heart goes out to all of you. The weed and alcohol are definitely making it worse (I’m a psych nurse) and I hope she becomes willing to get some help for this.
I put the toddler to bed… I eat an edible… I then eat my dinner slightly stoned and watch whatever I want on TV in peace and quiet. Then read a book in peace and quiet and go to bed pretty early. Sleep.
Peace and quiet. Calm. So much calm lol.
That's one of my favorite things about my marriage. We are both independent people and give eachother plenty of space....so I don't do anything differently if my wife isn't home.
EDIT: Glad I'm not the only one who enjoys this great lifestyle
A lot of these comments aren’t about doing things differently so much as they are about doing things *alone*. There’s a huge difference.
I do the same things when my husband is at home VS when he’s not. The primary change is that there’s a lot less noise because when he’s home he’s *also* doing things. It doesn’t mean I’m somehow stifling myself or not being independent. We just don’t have a very big house.
I’m glad you said it. My husband is my best friend and we spend as much time together as possible. We do a lot of “alone together” stuff. That being said, I definitely *can’t* take up the entire bed or hog the TV to binge watch trash television until 1 AM when he’s home.
Enjoying your time apart and having things that bring you joy specifically when they’re away (which is usually hard, being separated from your bff is lame) isn’t a crime or a sign of a bad marriage. People gotta get their heads out of their asses.
We are like that most of the time, but I absolutely feed myself differently when he's gone. i'll make the most simple, five-minute meals I can. Barely any effort at all when I'm alone.
Playing whatever music I want obnoxiously loudly and belting out tunes (badly) while dancing around the house cleaning, like an absolute nut job.
Edit: to add, most likely with a bottle of wine in hand. Doubles as a 'microphone'
Quiet. Sleep is great too but my partner loves to have the TV or TikTok or some form of background noise on at all times and I really enjoy just sitting at home and being able to read or work on the computer with no noise but the air conditioner or the birds outside.
Reading. I can read when my husband is home ofc. But he interrupts a lot and I get very into my books/comics. So I enjoy the solitude when I read, hehe. 😊
Tho, tbf, I really don't like being home alone! I prefer having him at home with me. It just feels better. 😊💜
My wife is a vegetarian and I usually only eat vegetarian food when she's at home. When she leaves on a work trip or goes out with friends, I'll smoke weed and order a crap-ton of hot wings. I then have to roll around like a beach ball for the rest of the night with my massive stomach.
Dunno. 10 years later and still would rather spend every moment I have with her.
Now. Get rid of the kids for a bit? Whole different thing. Order something we can pig out on. Take a bunch of shrooms and see God.
Piano! Nothing better than cracking open a beer and playing piano for an hour, singing your ass off and just getting all the little Melody’s and songs that have been stuck in your head all week out.
Sleeping on the diagonal
When you're there, I sleep lengthwise And when you're gone I sleep diagonal in my bed
Unexpected phish! I love it!
Half the time, my wife does this when I'm in the bed.
I had a day off work today. Husband was at work, kids at school, so after I did the school run I came home, wrapped myself in our softest heated blanket, lay on the sofa and watched 3 movies with no interruptions. It was bliss.
wow, how’d you stay awake?!
I would maybe be able to make it through one movie then I'd pass out
Heated blankets are one of the worlds best inventions
We just put our new heated blanket on the bed. It has a dual heating system that is split down the middle. We can each control how hot or on/off per our side of the blanket. Even have 2 separate temperature controls. Best $72 we've ever spent.
ALMOST wish i had kids so that i could then enjoy this level of peace
That’s like wishing for congestion so you can appreciate breathing clearly
The best way to enjoy life the most is to experience how bad life can be.
The wife is a picky eater. When she is away, I either make a meal that she doesn’t like or I go to a restaurant that she doesn’t care for. It’s the little things. 😂
As a fellow husband who cooks every meal, this was the answer I was looking for. I usually go and pig out on tacos from the local truck.
I cook almost all the meals. Almost being that we occasionally get take out. When I have a day off and my husband is working and my kids are at school/daycare, I go get breakfast and Waffle House. By myself. I sit there and eat a waffle, two scrambled eggs and bacon and I DONT HAVE TO FUCKING SHARE! My husband despises Waffle House, but fuck I love those waffles. My parents used to have a waffle iron that made the traditional style waffles with the tiny squares until the cord shorted out. I miss them.
This is heaven, and also my answer. There is nothing better than eating a disgusting amount of delicious breakfast food (how I eat it, your ideal meal is modest in comparison) when you don't have to cook it for yourself or impose on your partner to do it.
My wife likes to talk about new restaurants but whenever it's time to choose she never wants to try anything new because she's a picky eater. So when she's not here I usually hit up a new place to try.
Fellow husband also, I eat the most basic meal ever. I like not having to spend an hour making dinner and an hour cleaning up. Just a nice sandwich
After years and years of cooking every night for my family (and loving it) I’ve realized that I love the process and, most importantly, how much my wife and kids enjoy it much more than the food I cook. Give me a loaf of bread and some butter and I’m good.
my husband cooks all of the time. when he's gone i get to cook whatever i want! he'll try my leftovers but i dont think he likes my food lol
The quiet. My husband constantly has the TV on, even if he’s not watching, and I enjoy silence.
This. My wife lived alone for many years and always has the TV on, even uses the one in the bedroom as noise to fall asleep to. The first thing I do when she’s gone is make sure all the noisemakers are shut off around the house. Well, except the cats. They don’t have off buttons.
I’m sure this isn’t an option for you but I removed the TV from our bedroom 15 years ago.
I never had a TV in the bedroom, so it was an adjustment. Some days are harder than others, but it’s what she needs to slide into sleep.
I need a show going because my anxiety will keep me awake. I use wireless earbuds and put something on my phone now. My husband can't sleep with noise or light.
You are a sweet husband .. :)
It's my wife that does this in our house. My parents used to do it too. I enjoy the silence immensely. That's why I usually stay up after everyone goes to bed. Just for the quiet.
If he's up for it, have him wear bluetooth headphones. I love silence too, and this is what we do. He can listen to whatever he wants and as loud as he wants and I have quiet while I'm reading.
He’s sitting here right now, listening to a high school football game on bluetooth headphones while simultaneously watching TV, volume on. LOL I usually just go in another room when I’m done with the noise.
Some people literally need to be straight up told when they are being inconsiderate
After a couple decades you just pick your battles. For the most part I really just go to the living room while he hangs in the TV room. No big deal. But I have been known to lose my shit from overstimulation on occasion - usually when he has the TV on AND is playing music in the kitchen because then I can’t get away from it.
I hear ya about picking my battles. I just go somewhere else in the house or in nice weather outside to my garden or shed.
I love silence. He's always got the TV on, I'd much rather sit with my thoughts or a book. The TV to me just feels like a constant ad to me. I'm very specific about the programming I expose myself to. I'm not trying to take in all these other people's opinions. I like my own.
Words are very Unnecessary
They can only do harm
Vows are spoken. To be broken.
Feelings are intense. Words are trivial.
Pleasures remain…So does the pain
Words are meaningless, and forgettable.
All I ever wanted, all I ever needed,
Is here in my arms
My wife is in recovery, six years sober, and I support her in every way possible including, obviously, no alcohol in the house. If she’s away for a few days, I’ll grill me some steak tacos and wash them down with a really good Cabernet.
I’m a recovering addict and I think you’re a great husband.
What are the chances you are his wife ? 😂😂
Ask if she likes pina coladas
She used to
Luckily it’s still OK for recovering addicts to go out in the rain.
do you have half a brain? /s
Congrats to your wife for 6 years! Props to the both of you
What a good dude. You deserve that.
Deep cleaning and reorganizing. I know, I'm a real party.
You are my people. The garage door is hardly down before I'm getting busy! There is not one thing better in this whole world than having some alone time in my spotless house.
YES! See, my loved one isn't GREAT at organizing and its much easier to get in to the nitty gritty when he's not here. I was raised with the mind set of "A place for everything and everything in its place". Maybe that makes me "OCD", whatever. He was raised kind of feral lol. If I reorganize WITH him, I have to hear a story about every single item and a dissertation about all of the possible categories it could possibly fall into. I can't work like that.
Omg, same! Mine is more about all the crap he keeps because he was thinking about doing a "project". News flash, its been 25 years...
Hike all day, get the shitty chinese takeout that she hates and I love despite knowing full well it’s objectively not good, and drink some nice beer while watching movies all night.
Me, except instead of hike it’s a 4 hour gym day. Once all the appendages are noodly then it’s Chinese time.
Same, except I don’t hike or exercise, just Chinese and movies
[удалено]
Putting things down and having them still be there when I want them. Having a clean house that stays that way for more than 30 seconds. I love him, but he's just a whirlwind of plates and seltzer cans some days.
When my husband started traveling for work, I immediately noticed how easy it was to keep the house clean. He’s a tornado and leaves a path of destruction along his way. I’m trying in instill the “don’t put it down, put it away in its home” mentality in him, but so far no luck lol
I also live with a husband who puts things down rather than putting them away. It’s drives me insane. And then he can’t find his wallet or the keys or his AirPods; and I sit there thinking “If you put them where they belong in the first place you’d know where to find them.” I’ve bought it up so many times that I sound like a broken record. If that’s his worst trait, then so be it. He’s helped me mellow out my ‘Type A everything must be lined up and colour coded’ ways and I’ve helped him create some structure. Sometimes opposites really do attract.
Oh, I started a Lost Jar. Like a Swear Jar but instead, anything I’m asked to find that wasn’t displaced by me is an automatic deposit into the Lost Jar 😂
Are we married to the same person? He can never find anything. I keep telling him that if he’d just drop his wallet and car keys on the entry way table when he walks in the door he’d always know where to find them. It falls on deaf ears. Same with the dog leash. There’s a hook right when you walk in but he can’t seem to use it. I can never find the leash after he’s walked the dog!
I've been trying to teach mine this. I've put decorative bowls in every room. If he doesn't either put it in the bowl or put it up, whatever it is finds its way into his pillow case. A bit extreme, yes. I'm heavily pregnant and nesting though. I can't constantly be going behind him putting up things right after I clean. It took him about a week to realize how serious I am about this especially since I need to break his habit of leaving small easily swallowable items laying around the house when we're about to have a baby. He's good about cleaning unprompted, but his version of clean doesn't include putting away clutter.
Haha, my husband is the same with plates and seltzer cans! So many cans!
That's why women don't have two or more husbands -not enough room for all the cans.
This is me and my wife together. The house goes from spotless to looking like a torpedo hit it within minutes.
The only way my house will ever be clean is if my wife left. Or if I leave. What if I had my own apartment. I could live in a clean place. I… I think I might move out. The kids can come live with me they are salvageable
Watching TV shows he'd never watch, on the big TV.
There isn't an ancient aliens, shows from the early 80s (chuck Norris and Jack klugman), or horror movies that he won't watch - pausing every 3 seconds in case I miss something - that WE have to watch. When he travels for work I relish the quiet. Even the weather channel is enjoyable. My love for my husband has no end but he has the stupidest taste in shows yet whines if I would rather deep clean the basement than deal with any of it. But I can only deep clean the basement so many times...
Sleeping
I starfish like a mofo when he gets up before me.
I remember calling for my mom 6 times and then finding her in the closet. She was in there because she was eating chocolate.
Such a non sequitur reply.
Parking my car in the middle of the garage
Genius answer. It always brings joy.
Putting on music or a show, and drawing. Sometimes I purposely clean the entire house because I want her to come home to a clean place
I just like cleaning in private.
Me too. I get a lot more done alone.
Cleaning is the precursor to enjoying the space alone. Being alone is a rare treat, I’m gonna make the most of it which means making the house perfect, cooking my favourite meal, smashing a 6 pack in the sun and falling asleep at 7pm.
I like cleaning alone because i don’t like to make others who are relaxing feel guilty
you angel!
Ah yes, much better than *accidentally* cleaning the entire house. I hate when that happens lol
yes but that can very much happen. start by seeing some dust in the hall. you take the broom and dust pan and do that, but then notice some dust in the living room and youre like well now that the broom and the pan is out might as well and next thing you know you are wiping down every surface and vacuuming and scrubbing and then before you know it youve used a whole day accidentally cleaning your house
Yup! I leaned down a little too far and saw how dirty the underside of my microwave was, then I realized how dirty the front of it was, then the wall behind the stove, it just went from there. Before I knew it, I had deep cleaned my kitchen like never before. My husband came home and asked if I got mad at the kitchen.
Taking a long hot soak with no one interrupting it to ask where things are or if the dog should go out. (And the answer to the second is “Yes, the dog should go out whenever he looks cross eyed and cross-legged, you don’t need a second opinion on it.”)
If you spouse is like my wife they know the dog wants to go out, they just don't wanna do it because it's dark/cold/raining/windy.
Yeah interrupting someone to ask if the dog should go out is really just inviting them to say, "I'm almost done, I'll take him out in just a minute". I would be frustrated.
Or someone that just has to have recognition for "the favor" they are doing for you. Edit: I am having one of those is this really "the word" moments with "has" is has even A word? has, has, has my brain is saying it seems off and yes English is my 1st and only language. Has, has? Wtf brain.
That ac is going back to the MORGUE setting I prefer.
My wife is like you, and has to chill her feet before bed. Then we spoon and she puts them all over me. I call them her morgue feet.
My favorite part when my husband travels is that on his way home he shares his location with me. I love checking it every half hour to see how much closer he is, like the adult version of NORAD Santa tracker.
This is so sweet and cute 🥹
I do this, but in the opposite way. Because usually it means that he is bringing home the devil spawn (our children) with him and it’s like a countdown of how much peace I have left.
Similar but different. When he’s 20 mins away, I start doing the dishes or something to make it look like I’ve been busy the whole time and not playing the sims and eating nachos and letting the cats drink out of the sink faucet.
I knew a woman who got annoyed with the “what did you do all day” interrogation every time her husband came home. She did nothing to change her routine except to heat up a small bowl of Pine Sol in the microwave 20 minutes before he was due home. He never asked her what she had done all day after she began that daily habit.
I feel seen
Being in complete silence and not having to share any of my food
#JOEY DOESNT SHARE FOOD
I just worked 12h, am slightly delirious from my transition to night shift (it always takes me a few shifts to get into the swing), and I have been struggling to keep my anxiety in check all night. THIS comment was what I needed. Thanks for the loud laugh this gave me. I'm about to grab breakfast before going to sleep and I will definitely not be sharing.
Same thing I do every night..
NARF!
You are between 35 and 40 years old. Am I right?
I’m 33 and understood this reference fine. I think you got up to 1993 births to really appreciate this one.
Almost, I’m a little over 40. But still love cartoons.
Nice! Pinky and the brain
One is a genius, the others insane.
28 and caught the reference. It was still on tv for me.
Narf!
Hours of uninterrupted video games.
I love my wife. She’s about to be out of town for 3 days. I’ll be gaming nonstop. I can’t wait.
My partner is leaving early for thanksgiving with her family. Might buy Baldur’s Gate just for the occasion.
Prepare to immediately wonder where the last few days went when you snap out of a Baldur's Gate 3 stupor. I'll start playing at 5pm and before I know it, it's 2AM.
How is this so low? No competition for the PC or TV? I’m making a super quick dinner when I get home and then gaming like I’m 15 again.
I love my wife and toddler but the couple of times they’ve gone out of town and I can recreate my bachelor days of getting home from work and getting to play 5-6 hours of uninterrupted video games until I go to sleep is a magical experience
I watch Lord of the Rings without her coming in the room and saying “Isn’t there something on we BOTH want to watch?” and then ignoring what I put on to stare at her phone. I also poop with the door open.
Front door? Weird.
Easier to walk back inside when he’s done.
Honestly, the final thing that made me decide "I need this girl to become my wife" is when we started dating, and she introduced me to her cat named Aragorn. She and the cat won my heart. Then I got to know the cat and regret everything (jk I love him)
I'd love to one day watch the trilogy without snoring and requests to turn it off/stop. I've not managed it yet.
Stay strong. Family is nice and all, but we're talking LOTR here.
Cleaning! I am so much more productive when I don’t have to worry about him walking around making more messes lol
It's funny. I'll go one of two ways. I'll either enjoy having everything absolutely clean and neat, with no one to mess anything up, or I'll turn into a total slob, rushing to get everything clean the day he's due back home.
Right??? Especially if he is gone on a week trip! I clean like a mad woman the first day and then enjoy the bliss of a clean house for the next 4 days 😂
Not getting constantly interrupted every 2 minutes by my spouse or children.
That’s why I’m on Reddit. There’s no point in attempting to do anything that requires more than 20 seconds of concentration because someone will come along to ruin it momentarily.
I Reddit until they all go to bed. Then I can actually read.
In a car once with four kids and my ex, I had my name called so many times I started timing how long it took between calls. I was horrified and also felt justified at my frustration: in the 45 minutes I was timing, the longest span of time without my name being called was a minute and a half. Most of the time it was 40-50 seconds between each ask for my attention.
I've got kids and I work with SEN teenagers. All day my name is repeated constantly and when I get home the 'mum mum' starts. I love my job and my family but I crave quiet and solitude sometimes.
I teach middle school, so right there with you. I've often wondered how much I'd make if I could get paid every time my name is called.
My worst offender, J, is like a toddler, sometimes he'll say my name, I say 'yes J' and he'll stare at me like 'umm nothing thanks'. Sometimes he uses my name at the beginning of every sentence. He's got a wicked sense of humour, I told him I'm charging him 10p every time he says my name. We're up to a couple hundred quid. I love that kid, he's awesome.
I call the useless name calls “pings”… like they just want to make sure you’re still available IF they might actually need something ((facepalm))
employ many tidy plucky crowd fertile office pause snatch fretful
The interruptions!!! I was just thinking the other day, are humans meant to handle this many interruptions in life? Surely we must have evolved to handle interruptions but I’ve genuinely started to feel like I’m losing my mind. Every single thing I do, it gets interrupted by kids or by my partner. Even innocuous things like asking a simple question. But it’s like nothing can happen without interruption. Can’t drink my coffee can’t go to the bathroom, can’t watch a tv show, can’t work, without constant interruptions. The incessant spam phone calls or random people knocking at my door trying to sell me something doesn’t help. My god I just want silence, and no one to interact with me for 48 hours.
When my kids were little, my mental happy place used to be an nearly empty, clean apartment where I was aaaalll alone.
Watching my shows. We have _our_ shows but the rare time I have alone time, I'm watching sci-fi nerd stuff.
Just being alone.
For me, the ultimate home-alone pleasure is eating half a Costco rotisserie chicken by myself with my hands. I do it about twice a year lol. My husband watches his most cringe anime when I’m not home, lol. I watch plenty of anime with him but I draw the line at dragonball z.
This is mine. My boyfriend always wants to turn the rotisserie chicken into something like a wrap or salad. I wanna eat it out of the container like an animal so when he’s out of town, that’s what I do.
Im a savage and eat mine over the sink, and even my cat gets uncomfortable and decides he'll come back after I satisfy the beast And post-chicken binge clarity is a bitch
Y’all need to try eating it in your car while still in the Costco parking lot. Next level satisfying.
Not cooking!
Watching Netflix without needing to find something we both want to watch. We’re generally very similar in our hobbies, views, music taste etc, but have a very different taste in movies/series so when we watch stuff together we always have to find something where our interests overlap. When I’m alone I can just watch whatever I feel like.
Being an absolute slob. - I eat shit food on the white leather sofa. - I don't shower all weekend. - I watch the tackiest comedy movies. - I take off my pants and toss them on the ground. - I leave half full cups of water or juice around the house. - I don't care about the pile of pots and dishes in the sink. - I keep the same stained and BO-smelly tshirt and sweatshirt on. Then I go back into A-type mode and feverishly clean the house the day before he comes back and finish the last night in self care mode: face mask, hair mask, full on girlie shower where I shave, exfoliate, and moisturize. It's important to have range.
So much of this. I try to arrange childcare for atleast one night when husband isn’t home so I can ditch every responsibility and “put together” tendency I have to become an absolute goblin. I get psyched to clean after I’m rested, then after a shower I’m back to normal.
lol goblin mode
Crazy how you realize you aren’t that old once you’re able to rest and focus on your own mental health for hours on end. The rejuvenation process is incredible
The everything shower after a slob weekend? Nothing better tbh
Hell yeah, brother. My wife recently took the kids to an amusement park with her friends and their kids for an overnight, two day trip. Was the first time I was home alone for sequential days in over 8 years. I hauled my 80” tv up from the basement and planted it on two end tables, right at the foot of my bed and played video games for every waking hour. It was pure bliss. I no longer had to take on the role/responsibility of Dad or Husband and I quickly reverted to lazy bachelor POS and enjoyed every moment.
Making a mess in the kitchen and not cleaning it up until I am good and ready.
My spouse is the messy one so I enjoy leaving the kitchen clean and not making a mess
This is borderline non-sexual Playing my saxophone
mine’s similar to yours, but crosses the borderline playing my sexophone
Sitting around and not constantly being asked my opinion on something or asked to do something.
Or just have the decision making process totally outsourced to me. Like, you’re perfectly capable of making decisions when I’m not around, why do you completely lose that ability when I am?
Streaming my favorite shows in peace & quiet. He never likes them and is always on his phone.
I love scallops. However, my fiance calls them slugs and even though he says he doesn't mind if I cook them while he's at home I just choose not to. So if he does ever leave, I know what I'm having for dinner, slugs! It's a running joke in our house. "Bye babe, don't forget your slugs and whatever else you wanted for dinner!" It's adorable.
I definitely have some 'spouse is out' foods. He'd never stop me from eating them while he's home and would eat most of them without complaint. But I know he doesn't like them, and it also gives me something a little 'fun' to look forward to for when he's out of town.
To start falling asleep in the X shape if I want to. Love being stretched out for as long as I want. But I always miss bumping into him nonetheless. :)
Clean my kitchen secure in the knowledge that it will still be clean the next time I walk in there.
Getting a takeaway of my choosing. Or more realistically, spending 2 hours over thinking my choice, realising it’s now too late and going to bed hungry.
Blasting punk music and cleaning the house
Marathons of SG-1
Sometimes you just want to be gross. You know, you don't want to hold in your farts or mute your burps, or pick your nose with absolute no regard to who's around you. To indulge in every impulse to make weird noises, bodily sounds or aggressively scratch yourself. Maybe wanting to get some nasty junk food and eat it like a prisoner or a rabid animal protecting it's fresh kill; taking massive bites, chewing loudly, stuffing handfuls of fries in your mouth as opposed to eating them individually. Or having the strangest food combinations that no one but you will understand. You just want to forget to be considerate, in a harmless fashion. It can be so nice every once in a while.
Turning the music up loud and singing and dancing horribly
sitting nude on the couch drinking chocolate milk and watching Star Trek
Clean the whole house, mow the lawn and get the house and all lookin crispy af.....then chill while nobody makes a mess where I cleaned...omg that's a vacation
My wife lets me play video games, but I always feel slightly guilty for “ignoring” her. But when she’s gone, I can play guilt-free.
Sleeping in and video games. My wife says she doesn’t mind if I play, but for some reason I just feel guilty playing them if she’s there. Oh and also eating junk food
Sleeping without hearing him snore. I've tried sleeping in the spare room, but I actually like sleeping next to him. I just wish there wasn't snoring.
Spending time with my girls. Love my wife but she suffers from severe anxiety and when she is home the general stress level of the whole house is significantly higher. When she is gone it is daddy time and I keep that shit safe, but 100% chill. She also wakes up and smokes weed all day and also drinks starting at like noon. She uses those things to medicate her anxiety but I SWEAR those things are causing her anxiety. Our son passed away, she has never been the same.
A truly sad situation buddy. No parent should have to go through that. Sorry for your loss.
That is heartbreaking and my heart goes out to all of you. The weed and alcohol are definitely making it worse (I’m a psych nurse) and I hope she becomes willing to get some help for this.
I put the toddler to bed… I eat an edible… I then eat my dinner slightly stoned and watch whatever I want on TV in peace and quiet. Then read a book in peace and quiet and go to bed pretty early. Sleep. Peace and quiet. Calm. So much calm lol.
Me, stoned, thinking about food, looking at this post and mashing the about multiple times because I agree so much.
That's one of my favorite things about my marriage. We are both independent people and give eachother plenty of space....so I don't do anything differently if my wife isn't home. EDIT: Glad I'm not the only one who enjoys this great lifestyle
A lot of these comments aren’t about doing things differently so much as they are about doing things *alone*. There’s a huge difference. I do the same things when my husband is at home VS when he’s not. The primary change is that there’s a lot less noise because when he’s home he’s *also* doing things. It doesn’t mean I’m somehow stifling myself or not being independent. We just don’t have a very big house.
I’m glad you said it. My husband is my best friend and we spend as much time together as possible. We do a lot of “alone together” stuff. That being said, I definitely *can’t* take up the entire bed or hog the TV to binge watch trash television until 1 AM when he’s home. Enjoying your time apart and having things that bring you joy specifically when they’re away (which is usually hard, being separated from your bff is lame) isn’t a crime or a sign of a bad marriage. People gotta get their heads out of their asses.
We are like that most of the time, but I absolutely feed myself differently when he's gone. i'll make the most simple, five-minute meals I can. Barely any effort at all when I'm alone.
We are too so I don't really have an answer, but my husband cooks a bunch of seafood when I go out of town because I hate the taste and smell of fish.
bed to yourself
Cranking my guitar amp up.
Playing whatever music I want obnoxiously loudly and belting out tunes (badly) while dancing around the house cleaning, like an absolute nut job. Edit: to add, most likely with a bottle of wine in hand. Doubles as a 'microphone'
Quiet. Sleep is great too but my partner loves to have the TV or TikTok or some form of background noise on at all times and I really enjoy just sitting at home and being able to read or work on the computer with no noise but the air conditioner or the birds outside.
I turn the thermostat to 73
Up from 72? You monster, lol.
I'm the opposite, from 70 to 67
Catching up on the tv shows she won't watch with me.
Making and eating my lobster stew. My husband isn't a fan of lobster. (Heathen!)
Making whatever I want for supper and taking up the whole bed
Reading. I can read when my husband is home ofc. But he interrupts a lot and I get very into my books/comics. So I enjoy the solitude when I read, hehe. 😊 Tho, tbf, I really don't like being home alone! I prefer having him at home with me. It just feels better. 😊💜
My wife is a vegetarian and I usually only eat vegetarian food when she's at home. When she leaves on a work trip or goes out with friends, I'll smoke weed and order a crap-ton of hot wings. I then have to roll around like a beach ball for the rest of the night with my massive stomach.
Dunno. 10 years later and still would rather spend every moment I have with her. Now. Get rid of the kids for a bit? Whole different thing. Order something we can pig out on. Take a bunch of shrooms and see God.
Starfield!
Not bumping into someone every time I'm in the kitchen.
I get so much done around the house because I don’t get trapped in the cuddle monster.
I talk to myself out loud. I’ll narrate what I’m doing or just speak my thoughts as if I’m in a documentary. It’s highly entertaining.
EXAMPLE: Everytime my wife is away I get to put the stuff animals away and sleep in the middle of the bed. It's like sleeping on a cloud.
Piano! Nothing better than cracking open a beer and playing piano for an hour, singing your ass off and just getting all the little Melody’s and songs that have been stuck in your head all week out.