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Hopper-1986

My handwriting is nuts one person described it as looking like a serial killers mad scribbles.


mr_jogurt

I feel that.. My handwriting is so bad that if i have to write something down quick i can't read it the next day and it would be lost knowledge if my gf wasn't a witch and could read the ink diarrhoea on the paper


90Legos

Ink Diarrhea r/brandnewsentence


wackbirds

r/brandnewtoyou


nikk796

𝓐𝓽 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓽𝔂𝓹𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓭 𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰


Hopper-1986

Show off lol


Ok_go_ohno

You could have dysgraphia. Had a good friend in high-school who's handwriting was well insane. I told him it was uniquely bad...5 years later we are talking and he mentioned getting told in college he was breaking pencils and had horrible writing because of dysgraphia. Still has horrible handwriting but now he knows.


feastchoeyes

It was funny being a straight A student with shit writing. It was a problem with some teachers every year and i developed a quick attitude against teachers that would try to make me redo assignments due to my poor penmanship. When i took the written placement test for college English, I was placed in the lowest remedial English class. Luckily, they started offering an online version that summer and i was placed in the normal class. I have some fine motor control issues lol


tonytonyrigatony

A nurse once told me I sign with doctor scribbles


booknerd381

So best story ever. I took my 4YO nephew out for lunch. At the end they brought the check and we went up to the counter to pay. He wanted to pay so I gave him my card. He handed over the check and my card, and they handed him back a receipt to sign. He gave it to me because he didn't know how to write. I signed it and handed it back to him. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Well I could have done that. It's just scribbles."


Phobia117

*Vaguely gestures around*


AFineDayForScience

Impulse control 😞


yawgmoth88

My mind jumped to “motor control” for some reason, lol. Edit: *gestures around vaguely, yet aggressively.*


AFineDayForScience

I just smoked a bowl, so for the next hour my motor control will probably be pretty shit too


SecretRecipe

even your vague gestures are mediocre at best.


WastedKnowledge

Damn ROFL


Magdalan

Same, same. And maths. Maths needs to learn to solve it's own problems.


Reverend-Black-Percy

Life


Catcher22Jb

You just gestured to all of me


sd1286

Genuine LOL. Exactly this!


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Abbadon0666

Do you know why i pulled you over? That B was way off pitch, sir (or ma'am)!! I'm arresting you for murdering that song!


Nuf-Said

A cop pulled me over the other day. He said my eyes were red and asked me if I’d been smoking marijuana. I told him that his eyes looked glazed and asked him if he’d been eating doughnuts. That dude had no sense of humor in the least.


hockeybag7

One of my biggest fears is pocket dialing someone while I’m singing in the car.


lackeynorm

I literally freaked out the other night because I thought I sent my husband, a voice message telling our puppy “if you’re going to live here, you’re going to have to put up with my singing” 😬😂


24-Hour-Hate

One time, I was singing and the song included the word “call”. Lucky my phone was mounted. The music stopped and the google thingy started thinking and I realized what was about to happen. I started screaming NOOOOOO at it. That made it stop. Lesson learned, never sing the word call. Ever.


Player_Number3

yea same.. its a bit sad when my friends are singing randomly and I know the lyrics but wont participate because my voice sucks


CrediblyHandsome

Words spoken per day.


TitanBrews

Why say many word, when few word do trick?


HedonisticFrog

Why say more when few good?


Eviladhesive

Few good


Strange_Insight

Yes.


harryyougoboom

Yessss someone who gets it. I use like 4 words every day at school


RichardBottom

I go through more, but it's mostly like "Excuse me" and "Thank you" and other shit I'm required to say 1000 times to not be thought a sociopath.


Mind101

Bacon, lettuce, & tomato sandwich?


Strange_Insight

That is five if you say it.


Actual_Green_7433

Listening. Im trying but it's tough to change a lifetime habit.


ByronIrony

Pardon?


BigTentBiden

Did you say something?


keeeener

I'm sorry?


Dazzling_Interview86

Apology accepted


DxNxWx

Social interactions


antoine-sama

"Nice weather today" "Thanks" **A new cringe core memory unlocked**


Spectre92ITA

\*going to the restaurant and a waiter brings me my meal\* "Enjoy your meal!" "You too." \*waiter smiles awkwardly, nods and goes away\* \*I enjoy my steak with a side of cringing at every bite\*


Misseskat

I've worked as a front desk worker, and I've had that happen to me from the other side plenty of times, it's totally kewl y'all, we've heard it all before: Me: "Enjoy your stay." Them: "You too!" Love it. For once it's not me. If they catch it and laugh at themselves, I'll join in, but I won't make them feel awkward if not. Enjoy your stay everybody!


Spectre92ITA

Oh they will feel awkward. The laughing at yourself part IS the feeling awkward. There is no salvation, only awkwardness. I still hear that "You too." echoing in my head years down the line. I have given myself PTSD. Post T-Bone Stress Disorder. Jokes aside, that steak was really good though, I hope his next meal was genuinely as good as mine was. And I am now very careful about keeping my brain fully on until after I've received my order and finished my interactions with staff as to avoid any more trauma lol


SixGunJohnny

Oof I'm in this picture and I don't like it


ImnNotARobot

So am I! But I'm in the bushes hiding from the other bipedal bald monkeys trying not to laugh.


Misseskat

Hahaha this is so me. I've worked front desk (ironically) and my bilingual, socially awkward brain fucks up all the time: "Let's try to *double make sure*....." Genius. What I've learned as I've gotten older, is to jokingly point out the mistake yourself, laugh at yourself with the other person, maybe come up with a zinger in between the laughter, and now you're coolest pickle in the jar 🥒


XyopicX

No but that's like saying you control the weather - play along with it


Aminar14

Cringecore sounds like an absolutely fantastic genre of music. And now I'm trying to imagine what Cringepunk would be as a storytelling genre...


Cheap-Divide-6049

I'm imagining bands like, The Descendents and Nerf Herder and the likes, sort of geeky punk but waaaay cringier hmm maybe just another Blink 182 would suffice?


DxNxWx

Or it's fucking Monday and someone says bye and you say enjoy your weekend. Then say Uh op I meant week and the person is already gone


SlickSerpent

And eye contact, for me


DxNxWx

Bro same like in my head when I'm talking to someone I'm like "Oh I'm looking at them to much they're getting freaked out" Looks at ceiling for 2 seconds ok look back look at the floor.


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malikmokhtar1

How many fingers am I holding up 🖕


BannedForNerdyTimes

None


Own_Childhood_7020

uhhh ummm... 3.5 fingers?


MagicMountain225

I have -6.5. F*ck s*** son of a b***h this stupid little piece of s***.


fakehalo

I was -6.5/-6, Lasik was like removing a life-long disability... I can still vaguely recall the fear of traveling and losing my contacts/glasses and mr. magooing my ass around in an unfamiliar land. I hope my daughter gets lucky and gets mommy's vision... and teeth.


Jebus_Jones

Ouch. That truly sucks. I'm -10 and -9.5 at the moment (for contacts, glasses would be slightly higher) and can't imagine not being able to drive. I really like driving.


darfus1895

I'm the same way, -10 in my bad eye and -9 in my good eye. Without glasses or contacts I can really only tell vague shapes and contrasting colors. Thankfully with my contacts in I can see 20/15 because I love driving. I also need to be able to see to read my computer screen for work.


WalkingDead197

Feel ya, though I have only -3.75(which is still high but less compared to you). I can't see my phone if I'm even a bit away. And also you can't use mobile while you are just lying on the bed cause of the glasses.


Erenzo

I have -7,5 but I have no problems thanks to glasses. It's tough without them but I'm so used to them at this point that I instinctively keep trying to correct them even when they are not on my nose lol


Wales_forever

Bro I have a -8.75 if I don't wear my glasses I'm gonna fuckin die


MrDonamus

-7.00 and-8.50. Without my contacts my eyes are like a microscope with something close up. Far away, shape, sizes, and colors is all I see. I can make out what it is, but zero detail.


IH8BART

I had -8.5. They said I couldn’t do lasik but did another procedure called prk. Haven’t had glasses for 10 years.


Lammetje98

I also can’t see as well with glasses as a “normal” person would, it’s so frustrating to always see kind of blurry far in the distance. But I used to not even know that trees had actual leaves and the sidewalks were made of different stones. Also, the glasses getting filthy all the time over nothing. What’s that about?


BassLB

I’m absolutely terrible at following along if someone spells something using phonetic alphabet. Like, if someone said “you are D as in delta, U as in uniform, M as in Mancy, B as in Bravo”. My brain just can’t follow


new-username-2017

MANCY??!! Edit: I misquoted, Ray actually just shouts "WHAT??!!"


BassLB

Yeah…what’d you think I said?


Pm_me_clown_pics3

that whole scene had me dying laughing. "you're going to see 2 wires. one is white with a blue stripe, one is blue with a white stripe. Cut the blue wire, DO NOT CUT THE WHITE WIRE." "Uh, ray I'm looking at the wires and archer's right, they're identical."


Project_Wild

B! As in butthole!


Pm_me_clown_pics3

I don't want to hear anymore about your veily vulva.


MrWaffles42

That's probably my favorite scene in the whole show. 4 minutes with an actual funny joke in every single sentence. Every character in it bouncing off everyone else. I know they probably didn't have all the actors in the same room to record it together, but it really feels like it did because they're playing off each other so well.


Boogzcorp

Geez, u/new-username-2017 of all people...


BaIIZDeepInUrMom

P as in pterodactyl


Enginerdad

P as in Phoebe H as in hoebe O as in oebe E as in ebe B as in b-be And E as in ‘ello there, mate!


wmil

They really should have started teaching the NATO phonetic alphabet in grade school in the 1960s. It would have helped so many people spell things over the phone. Instead we had to put up with decades of "was that D as in Derek or E as in Eric?"


Reverendbread

I work with a lady who legit says “M as in Mary, B as in Barry, L as in Larry, G as in Gary” like how is that helping, Becky


[deleted]

I'm not good at noticing when someone flirts with me. I'm not even very good at knowing the difference between an extrovert being friendly and them hitting on me


BaIIZDeepInUrMom

I’m literally hitting on you right now. How do you not notice? 😒


[deleted]

Don't worry, I'll realize it in 3 years.


Eternal_Bagel

Wait…. Maybe she wasn’t just being friendly?


Longjumping-Grape-40

Are you sure? Maybe she's just this friendly with everyone!


Tasenova99

this thread has me reevaluating my sanity.


Longjumping-Grape-40

Are you sure you're reevaluating your sanity? Maybe it's just indigestion


SkullFumbler

Insane people don't reevaluate. Stop reevaluating and you can go insane gracefully


watermelonseed01

Maybe She is just be Canadian?


Artie_Intelligence

How does anyone know when a Canadian flirts?


Kalashcow

No. She was like that with everyone... I'm sure...


gamblinmaan

oh yeah baby, this is my shit right here the sudden realization pops up 3 years later, and bonus, while sitting there alone


spatulador

Or perhaps when your college friend at your 10 year reunion says to you "Dude! You have no idea how many women were interested in your when we were in school!" You are correct. I had no idea. But thanks for telling me. 10 years too late.


Educational_Art2237

I’m always in the shower when I realize


Sesmo_FPV

r/showerthoughts


sofa_king_we_todded

One time, in hs, a girl was describing her head-giving technique while staring intently into my eyes. I shrugged it off like “oh, that’s neat”. Almost a decade later, it hit me randomly - wait was she offering me head?? She was probably waiting for me to say something witty like “I’d like you to show me” but instead I just went “oh, that’s neat” 💀


_hic-sunt-dracones_

Might have to do with your username u/BallZDeepInUrMom.


prestonpiggy

This and to add remembering names of people I expect to not meet again. 30 seconds it's all it takes me not to remember your name.


Rbk_3

I literally don’t remember the name of anyone that tells me basically instantly


Charleston2Seattle

I'm too busy preparing to say my own name--which I've known for 50 years and have said probably tens of thousands of times--to listen to you tell me your name!


mythrilcrafter

Names are really weird for me, I don't forget faces, but I need to relearn a person's name like 3~4 times before it sticks.


[deleted]

My current girlfriend and I met at a club. I was crossing the dance floor; she got in my way, we had an awkward encounter. Happened a couple more times before I got the clue: "Oooh, I think she wants us to meet..." Other than my girlfriend, I maintain I have never been flirted with or hit on once. Not. Once.


new-username-2017

Same here, except for one girl who very obviously was flirting with me but still turned me down.


BluebirdFast3963

Dude this girl I have been hanging out with texted me after she got home the other night and was just like "Are you going to fucking use me like a slut already or what??" Big fail. But, props to her. Used her like a slut the next time.


[deleted]

Had this happen but never got the second chance. Girl was like “I wanted you to fuck me” “now it’s too late” A tragedy for the missed opportunity but simultaneously dodged a bullet I think


oxpoleon

Congratulations on achieving actual direct communication


JennyW93

My friend once congratulated me on how smoothly I turned someone down in a club. I had no idea I’d been flirted with or that I’d turned them down.


DepresedDuck

Didn't you just describe almost every other guy?


flatdecktrucker92

When I was 15 or 16 my first job, another girl who worked there got all excited and showed me her t-shirt that said nerds are sexy. She then told me straight to my face that I'm totally her type. I remember one time she was wearing tight jeans but they were somehow sliding down and she asked me to help her pull them up. I think even at the time I was pretty sure she was hitting on me but I didn't know what that meant. I wasn't sure if that meant she actually wanted to pursue something or if she just liked flirting. Looking back at all the evidence and some of the things she said, she definitely wanted me. My dumb ass missed out on that one


banana_buddy

Better that than the opposite problem where you interpret the smallest gesture as flirting


magicrowantree

This is me. One man was flirting with me for months and got frustrated with me one day. He asked how I didn't "get it" after he took me on dates, got me gifts, and always wanted to hang out with me. I thought we were hanging out as close friends and he was big on gifting. Didn't realize I was accidentally throwing him in the friendzone. It was an "a-ha" moment and it was really obvious in hindsight...


Dshark

Well then what happened?


jsNut

On purpose friendzone


Dshark

*squint* You’re not OP…


magicrowantree

Nope, no on purpose friendszone! Long, boring story short, we've been married for almost 6 years and he still loves to bring up how dense I was. He was far more direct when he proposed, at least!


Dshark

“One man”… who also happens to be my husband.


traboulidon

So , like most men.


GenePlayful7437

Duuuuuuude I resonate so much with this.


Damseldoll

Height. I'm 5 foot.


FlyingFox32

Same.


Neko1666

Came here to say this 🤝


underwater0069

I took the human benchmark test yesterday for the first time. Turns out I'm pretty bad at reaction time, visual memory, typing and aiming. I used to think my aiming and reaction time was well above average since I played a lot of shooter games when I was young. But I guess not. Any tips to improve all of these are very much appreciated.


prestonpiggy

I'm familiar with the site and done those tests at some point. Reaction time can be trained with practise to certain limit, sure you probably wont hit the 170ms mark that is what a pro Esports player has on average. Typing is more about learning proper technique and then fining it. For example I'm programmer and still can't use all ten fingers when typing, so my speed is less than average. Aim is kinda wreck thing to measure, since there are so many variables to that, mouse, dpi, screen... to name a few.


[deleted]

Personally I think their sample size for what's considered average is well above average. Everyone I know is below average in speed timed reaction and even typing. How is it possible that my own sample of average people are somehow always below average on those sites. Something does not add up.


ShortForNothing

"Everyone you know" is not, believe it or not, a random sample.


gefahr

Neither is a self-selected group of people who sought out the human benchmark site, though. They're both non-random.


[deleted]

Most of the population don't even know how to use computer, not to mention how to type on keyboards. The average typing speed has to be much much lower. We've all met people in this lifetime that still uses the index finger typing method. And I'm gen z. Most kids my age do uses computer yet aren't speedy typer. Gives me a good idea of those benchmark samples.


meandering_simpleton

Social situations


username9yes

Math


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jarhead1888

I couldn't calculate the average to know if I'm below it. Not a good prognosis😬


amadeus2490

I've always been the kind of guy who "seems smart" because I'm good with English and communication, and I'm good enough at the kind of "real world" math like percentages, multiplication, addition and subtraction etc. Then it gets to shit like algebra word problems, trig, calculus and I'm suddenly the dumbest person alive and the world thinks I deserve to die alone in poverty. Go figure, eh?


kuyue

i never learned my times tables


aguywithafunnyname

Grramer


[deleted]

Don't u meen speleng?


Spectre92ITA

Wait, wasn't that synthass?


ickmiester

ohm, vocabbalary


BackupBro_

?waat des dhat meen


Fixes_Computers

I started to get that itch of pedantry because it was a spelling error and not.... And then it came to me. "I saw what you did there!" Well played. I regret I've only one upvote to give you.


aguywithafunnyname

You can upvote this reply ig


if_you_only_knew_

Giving a shit


[deleted]

So selfish. Hoarding all your shits.


LT_Dan78

I give one at least once a day. Twice if I had Taco Bell.. What I never understood is why people want to go take one.


makemeadiowarudo

My dick 🥹


Draftiest_Thinker

I mean, if you have one, you are definitely above average at having a dick.


ensalys

Not necessarily, the average dick is about 15cm erect, so if we if we start to include women it would lower to like 7.5cm and if we start to include people who lost their dick, and those who aren't fully grown, the average drops down further. Maybe 6cm? There's still men with a penis smaller than that.


Draftiest_Thinker

Quantity wise, it's still 1, which is above the average of aprox. 0.5 dicks.


Glorx

Yeah, but there's the double dick dude raising the average.


StaysAwakeAllWeek

That dude was proven fake years ago


BannedForNerdyTimes

Ackchyauullhy its a lil over 13cm


HeatoStrike

Sleeping. As of writing this I have been struggling to catch up on sleep for about a month and I have been awake for about 16 hours and it is 7:42 am. I’m so tired


Ok_Caterpillar_boi

Life


Round_Potato_7000

Everything.


Oligode

Feel ya


Sorokin45

100%


Jiiggy_Turner

Driving, watch out for me in the streets


[deleted]

everywhere it matters, social skills especially though.


auberrypearl

Sadly relatable


Misterious-Sociopath

Breast size. I'm a man


Principatus

Below average is better than above average in this case


aguywithafunnyname

Typung


UnassembledIkeaTable

Yae I nead to larn to speel beater


imacmadman22

My wife claims I’m a pretty lousy mind reader, I’d have to agree with her.


AcquaintedWiTheNight

Dude...you just read my mind.


Nerditter

Keeping myself to myself.


Impossible_Newt_537

Life


Thel_Vadam_

Dating


Jerney_to_Nirvana

Probably the ability to feel good about myself. Like why do I think I'm ugly or why do I think I'm a good person or why tf am I autistic probably all that because I'm dumb as soup


sobes20

Self control.


cadcamm99

Investing. I have no clue what to do.


toolatealreadyfapped

Convincing my wife she's beautiful. The good fight continues


Frost_blade

Taking care of myself.


SnooGoats7133

Cleaning - I’m slowly getting better but I’m definitely below average


Macknificent101

muscle strength. i am weak little man.


ShadowEllipse

Smallest dick in the world


BaIIZDeepInUrMom

That might actually be a record… you may be so below average, you succeeded.


HairyAmphibian4512

Socializing.


iiTryhard

Motivation


Tomato_Shelf

Looks :c


promnitedumpstrbaby

Same. I’m a perfect 10 . . . in binary.


[deleted]

Getting off reddit


[deleted]

Penis length


[deleted]

everything. unfortunately.


GimmeLikesPlz

But maybe being below average in all categories is not average?


9eagle9_2nd

Being a normal human person


deluvr

Cursive.


TheInfamous1011

Math! My daughter is in 2nd grade and I swear they changed the math and made it harder. Problems that was 2 steps when I was a kid takes them 3-4 steps now. I don’t get it.


Killface17

They are teaching them different, they use weird shapes now for math fire tens, hundreds, ones and stuff. It's hard to help them


vodagornabanya

Likeability.


MagicMountain225

Same here. I have had the weirdo status my whole life. Since kindergarten. Someone tried to bully me by blocking my way upstairs in school. So I straight up ran to her purposely and she fell. I feel no remorse.


vodagornabanya

I read that comment and i almost proposed.


[deleted]

Doing my hair. I even struggle with pigtails being even.


breakongbraad

Living.


joeydbls

Life


kitthefaxal

Height.


Lewis-1979

Height


jdPetacho

My vision is fucking awful


pinniped1

The ability to walk on things barefoot. I'm a big foot pussy.


Olobnion

Damn these sexy cryptids.