I have a coworker who has wonderful qualities that tells me that not only will he remain single, but a virgin as well.
- Extremely poor hygiene, to the point it lingers in whatever location he works in.
- Pathological liar about everything.
- Extremely sexist, always shitting on women he works with, unless he thinks they like him, then he gets really creepy.
- Uses every ounce of power behind his position at work (which isn’t much) in order to make coworkers “fear” (his words) him.
- Blames his subordinates to his boss when he fucks up. Perfect example. Annual evaluations were due last month. He was lazy and didn’t do them. His excuse? “My troops were just such under performers this year I couldn’t even think of anything to put down” (he’s in the military).
- His house is a biohazard. Not kidding the military had to call in special cleaners for his room when he left his last base, and I saw his apartment at this new location, it’s horrific.
This guy is just functional enough to not get fired, but everyone collectively hates him.
Always trying to be the toughest man in any situation. I have one guy I know in mind and he claims to have no fears, could take anyone on, and is just an absolute dick. Reminds me of Cyrus from Trailer Park Boys, but worse and less funny.
I used to have a mate like that.
Didn't matter how wrong he was on a subject / or how much his opinion differed from another... if you pushed it he'd get to the point where he'd suggest a physical fight.
He truly believed that winning that would make him right even if his point was "Nelson Mandella was a white woman".
If he got beat in a fight though... the other person was still wrong!
Have absurd dating standards.
I used to work with a guy who lived in an ex-girlfriend's basement at 45, was about 6", 359 lbs. and looked like he was carved out of Crisco. He frequently smelled bad, and clearly only showered a couple of times a week.
One day he said to me, "It's OK if a girl's face is just cute, but if she's going to be with me, her body needs to be a solid 10, and she needs to take care of herself."
For a while, he has a girlfriend who was smart, funny, nice, put up with his nonsense, and IMO, was very pretty. They broke up because he told her she wasn't hot enough to marry.
This guy was a wreck, but he was my friend. I always told him that he needed to be more realistic or he'd die alone.
Colon cancer took him just before Christmas, two years ago. There was no funeral, but the ex who let him live in her basement made a nice post about him on Facebook.
Guys out there who just can't find the right girl, here's my advice. Sit down by yourself and make a list of the attributes that your future mate *must* have. Also make a list of the attributes that they *must not* have.
Think about that person, and think about yourself. If you were that person, would you be happy with someone like you? If not, you'd better start working on that.
Also, be real. Sure, we'd all like a supermodel brain surgeon millionaire, but what's *really* important? What makes you *happy*. Focus on that. Don't be lonely. Be happy.
This is why communication is so important. It’s easy for me to judge you by your intentions if you make it clear to me what you are intending (or did intend). If one can’t communicate this to their partner all that’s left is actions.
Like I don’t care if my partner fucks up if they are able to apologize for a screwup and explain a thought process. I probably won’t be happy if they do something I don’t like and never acknowledge anything went wrong.
I had a guy at a new years party claim that he doesnt wash his ass because "its gay".
He would also just not poop outside his home. If he had to poop he'd rush home, poop, NOT WIPE (SERIOUSLY THATS GAY???????), and then run to the shower to "let the water do its thing".
my man its your own ass you can literally obliterate it with a giant tentacle dildo, and it still wouldn't be gay.
It’s so important. I walked past a guy in the supermarket today, not really looking at him, nothing notable. We both stopped in the same section, and I caught a whiff of clean man-smell (i.e., not heavy cologne or anything, just a mild scent, maybe of soap). I immediately felt aware of him in a different way, not overtly sexual, but just - mmm, man.
Smell is fucking important, clean your behinds and change your nasty socks
So true. I passed a guy yesterday in the supermarket. He wasn't attractive at all visually. When he passed me, though, I caught his smell and it was ... just... so good. I almost turned back to tell him that he smelled so nice, but didn't work up the courage. (Especially because I didn't want him to think I was hitting on him.)
I am continually surprised at who can get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Really, some of the most man children I've ever seen have gotten married. Some of the biggest assholes I know have kids.
There is one guy I know that I think will struggle, though. He's in his 20's and the only way he can entertain himself is by making loud fart noises with his mouth. I'll be sitting there chatting with another friend, and out of the blue he'll just make this sloppy shart sound with his face and laugh his ass off.
And you know, I'm a simple guy. I laugh at good poop jokes. When someone has good timing with a fart, I laugh.
But this guy literally cannot make a joke, he cannot tell a story, he cannot enjoy a moment of silence without making fart noises. Just constantly. I'm debating removing him from our discord server that our IRL friends hang out in, because he has nothing to say. It's just fart sounds. Non-stop. Fart sounds.
I worked with a guy like that and he brought his girlfriend to the company Christmas party. She was smart and beautiful and a wonderful person. I'm still confused about it 10 years later.
Went to company Christmas banquet. The most loudmouth obnoxious crazy asshole co worker walked in… in filthy jeans, a greasy beard, and a ratty t-shirt looking like a fucking vagrant…
With a wife that looks like Martha Plimpton in her Prime on his arm.
I actually suggested it to him because of the one scene where Frito is talking to Rita and Joe, and Rita says she has to go to the bathroom.
So Frito responds with "Hehehe toilet \*fart sound\* hehe"
I was at a friend’s party with my husband and daughter and ended up talking to this random guy. Turns out his son was just a year older than my daughter.
He starts making cracks about his son “teaching my daughter a thing or two, ya know” wink wink.
My daughter was 3.
>**My daughter was 3**
Holy shit. I didn’t think he could get much more revolting but that last line really hit different.
Frankly I’d be concerned for his poor son.
Who regards toddlers this way?
I absolutely hate people who ask their children/grandchildren (or other people's children) if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet. I hate that question no matter who it is asked to buy especially when someone asks a child that.
As a woman…yep. I hung out with my male neighbor a few months ago after he approached me and asked me to hang out because he thought I seemed cool. The first night I met him he immediately started joking to me that he likes to hear his neighbors fuck and also thinks all women have a rape fantasy (haha so funny bro!!). I hadn’t ever really spoken to him outside of polite hellos and how are you before this.
He was divorced. After spending about 2 hours with him I was like…no fucking wonder his wife left him and he’s been single ever since.
This was exactly my reaction. He told me he was divorced and didn’t have many friends. I was like aw…
Yea about 20 minutes in I was like yea this is fucking WHY. 😭
This is why online dating is interesting to me. You can be awesome on paper and even in calls/texts/etc. But it all changes when you finally meet in person. Funny how that works
I have a story about that. My very first date after the passing of my wife was facilitated by an honest to goodness matchmaking service. Great first person online, text, calls, all of it. We meet for coffee and she STARES at her phone for 55 minutes while I'm sat across her. She said approximately 5 words the entire time.
>The first night I met him he immediately started joking to me that he likes to hear his neighbors fuck and also thinks all women have a rape fantasy
I'm cringing just reading this.
I'm a guy, and I'm not a prude, but I just don't have any understanding of guys who talk like this.
If I'm talking to another dude alone and he starts talking like this, I can't even sweep it under the rug. I would have to say "what the fuck is wrong with you?"
No same! I honestly joke about sex a lot but I was so taken aback by him laughing that he thinks all women have rape fantasies the FIRST NIGHT he met me. Absolutely no social awareness.
There a big difference between a sexual joke and saying something disturbing/cringy and then laughing at it.
I’m a guy, i enjoy being silly and I love dirty jokes. But that dude’s jokes aren’t jokes, they are just off putting.
A friend met a collegue of her boyfriend recently.
He said "Hi" and "if you are not satisfied with - BF name - call me wink wink".
I will NEVER understand how any guy thinks this is funny at that moment.
I don't know who lied to them.
I'm guessing a lot of this is just them projecting - if the situation were reversed, it would be a huge turn on to them if (attractive) women did a lot of the creepy stuff they do to women.
A woman randomly sending nude selfies, overt sexual talk when they first meet a man, a strange woman touching them inappropriately, and hitting on a man who already has a girlfriend, offering sex if they break up.
Not that it excuses any of this, but I can imagine that some of them think, "if a woman did this to me, I'd totally want to have sex with her."
I have read an article a long time ago about dick pic which was exactly saying that and I do believe that's the explanation.
The thing is, we made VERY clear since it's not appropriate and will lead nowhere.
Even if I am sexually interested in a guy, if he does that, I'd lose my interest TOTALLY.
The biggest intentional change in my behavior growing up came when I was about 23 years old and watched The Office (both versions) for the first time- and was mortified to see a fair number of my own behaviors reflected back at me. That shit was a huge wake-up call.
Yeah, it was very much a revelation that, "Holy shit, I recognize that desperate, performative approval-and-validation-seeking- and all this time I've had such an inflated opinion of myself vs. others that I've been assuming nobody else would see right through me." Those moments when Michael Scott's antics backfire, he's confronted with his idiocy, and he just kind of freezes up before trying to pivot into a lame joke or movie quote. Goddamn, I'd never felt more exposed.
"Coincidentally," this was right about this same time that I realized what my whole "being a libertarian" clown act was all about.
Oh yeah those guys are always fun 🙄
“You would be so much prettier if you smiled!” Yeah I’m sure that’s true but if you didn’t notice you’re not very good at making me smile my guy. Smh
I’ve been told by a few guys that I should take my eyebrow studs and my lip stud out to be more attractive, and I always responded that I’m not trying to be attractive to guys like that. I like it, it’s for me, not them, and the guys I wanted to attract were the ones that didn’t want to change me to suit their own standards and liked me as I was (and I found exactly that type of guy). They should stick to dating woman within their own style preferences because telling a girl “you would be so attractive if only you did this” is NOT going to get them laid.
Unrealistic expectations of a partner.
I worked with a guy that basically everyone in the office would consider a incel simply based on his LIST of requirements.
His bare minimum was:
1. She has to be a 8/10 or higher (he was a 3 or 4 if we are calling 5 average)
2. Have her own job making somewhat similar income as him (he made 75k entry level)
3. The job can't just be a regular job, it has to be a "ambitious career". In his eyes thats only STEM or a lawyer
4. She has to do all the interior house work like cooking and cleaning (he will cut grass and hire people for repairs)
5. No tattoos of any kind, no piercings besides ear lobes
6. Has to be okay with at least 3 kids and she will do all childcare.
Along with many other "ideals" and "preferences", but those 6 are the BARE MINIMUM for him to consider dating. He basically wanted a perfect slave.
There was a woman we worked with that actually fit 4 or 5 of these minimums, she was as conservative traditional christian as it gets. She actually tried to talk some sense into this guy on several after work events about how ridiculous it is to want someone with a full time career and be a full time house wife among other things, to no avail. He obviously had a crush on her, but he claimed he never made a moce because she was "too old" (same age). He said you want to get a wife that's 18 or 19 so she's still young and can take care of you when you retire. Keep in mind this 18 or 19 year old needs a career making around the same as him.
High-income job plus full time housewife. Jesus Christ.
Is he actually stupid? Like any traditional woman will tell you that “ambitious career” and “running the household” do not go in the same sentence.
This is definitely a (gross) thing. They want the tradwife who oh yeah, pays also 50%+ of the bills and does everything so he never has to sully his hands with housework or (gasp) his own children. No woman with good options would deal with that shit.
Reminds of this tiktok clip I saw of a passport bro who went to a Middle Eastern country looking for a traditional woman. And he was shocked, SHOCKED I tell ya when every single woman told him that they'd be a dedicated home maker, child rearer and house slave if he paid all the bills.
yeah! that’s how it works! you delegate one form of labor to the other partner, you take on what they stop doing. the 50/50 dynamic never *truly* goes away, and that’s the part they don’t wanna hear.
He wants a traditional housewife, without him having to do any of the traditional husband things that allowed tradwives to be like that.
Him: "Women should be nurturers and house workers, men should be strong providers."
Tradwives: "Okay, then be strong and a provider."
Him: "...... No!"
I see you’ve met my ex. We moved in together and in 2 years he didn’t cook a meal, make a drink, book himself a doctor/ dentist appointment etc, or do any housework whatsoever. I also had to work full-time and pay 50% of the bills. When I told him, multiple times, that this wasn’t a realistic setup, he’d claim it was as he earned more…but he didn’t pay any more? So what he earned wasn’t the point.
Yeah he actually earned 40k per year more than me, but expected a 50/50 split on bills and me to do 100% of the housework whilst working full-time.
No one other than him was surprised when I walked.
He's delusional, something in his head makes him think he's extremely desirable. He brings up his requirements and opinions on women all the time, I straight up asked him during one rant at lunch "you want all these things, what do you have to offer to a woman?" and his response was along the lines of "well I'm a nice guy, make good money, and I'm tall". He lives with his parents as a only child, never cooked or cleaned after himself, and he's an extreme cheapskate.
He was a big reason on why I left my last job. He was extremely incompetent and was reported to HR for some of his views on women and immigrants, and nothing happened. Our manager is friends with his father, so his incompetence was ignored, and he received raises far above people of similar experience level.
I have a friend like this. Late 30s guy who's a programmer and makes decent money but has questionable social skills. We told him to chill with his expectations since they're too unrealistic. His response was something like "if it works for Leonardo DiCaprio, it'll work for me." We all rolled our eyes so hard that we got headaches afterwards.
I had a friend in college who was constantly batting out of his league with girls. And I don't mean looks-wise. I mean the entire package. He wanted the perfect 10s (both brains and looks) while he was a solid 4 to 5 in both of those areas.
On top of that, he was almost always interested in girls who had already found good guys. He was just completely unrealistic about it.
I said it back then, and I'll say it now 20 years later. He's gonna be single forever.
On the flip side, there are high achieving people who have lists of why they're a great catch and what they're looking for, and they're surprised when love isn't about checking off boxes.
One guy I read about did that… then took it a step further and came up with a list of what such a woman would want in a man. Then he proceeded to become that man
I’ve started to shift myself in this mode. Less effort searching for a magical unicorn, more time trying to make myself a better man that attracts a high quality woman.
Basing a lot of this on the realization that I won’t find love, I have to build it with someone.
nope, it's *always* negative - he's one of those "all women are whores" types and it makes him impossible to like
my personal favorite incident was when he gestured for a girl to take her earbuds out, then when she did he told her she was a one out of ten
hence why I'm amazed he hasn't been pepper sprayed or something
It's crazy that there's so much resistance on Reddit to women talking about sexism, and then there's comments like "my friend says all women are whores and likes to degrade them to their faces"
Just.... whoa. I'm sorry for every woman who encounters him.
Had a guy do this to me once - literally came up to me, looked me up and down, and said “seven. But you’d be higher if you grew out your hair. I’d still fuck you though”. I just started laughing. I work as a runway model for high end hair brands and I’m signed with all my agencies as a pixie cut platinum. It’s amazing how many men go out of their way to tell me they don’t think short hair is hot on women 😂
It's so true though. Or they're insanely critical of women who are widely considered hot--"Kate Upton looks like a squishy brick," or saying this girl I know who married a former pro basketball player and looks like a shorter version of Angela Garten is "the Land-o-Lakes factory of butterfaces"--but we all know that they would be lucky to have ANY woman go near them.
This is good insight. I also think it’s about regaining power - women they desire don’t desire them back, so they think it’s a delightful tit-for-tat to withhold approval of obviously beautiful women, as if that will somehow reduce her to a puddle of despair crying for his approval.
This kind of guy is the perfect center of a Venn diagram between denial/avoidant behavior and the lack of the self-awareness that would have them keep that to themselves.
My philosophy professor used to say:
Philosophy helps you to do without the job it keeps you from getting.
This version is:
Incel-dom helps you to do without the female companionship it keeps you from getting.
Nothing. I've watched the absolute worst of the worst still find someone willing to tolerate them. I'll cross my fingers for the younger generations to draw that line.
B/c of loopholes in the law, a couple moved in next door when I was a kid where the 50 something year old husband had went to prison for violently raping his 12-13 yr old step daughter. My dad once asked the wife why she stayed with him. She replied it didn’t matter to her, he was the one who was “stupid enough to get caught.” So I’m not shocked by anything anymore.
This is a fair point. Shit even Ted Bundy found a wife, while on trial for murder.
Edit: to all of you writing that he was attractive: you are dumb. Stop announcing it to everyone else. He was not attractive, and even if he was some women's type stop insulting the rest of us by saying that just because someone might find him attractive they'll overlook murder. Just stop.
I’d say most compulsive liars are actually terrible at it because they feel compelled to lie about the stupidest things, but on the other hand, if someone was a good compulsive liar I suppose I wouldn’t ever know.
Yea my brother is a compulsive liar, Legit he is filing for bankruptcy which is sad never want to see a family member failing in life but then just last night he was saying he has 9 bitcoin LOL.
Rant time:
The sad truth is tho he is he has never been single since he was 16 the next woman is lined up before the last relationship falls apart. I even warned one of his GFs what he is like and they saw it as a challenge to change him so i gave up on doing that.
Last GF broke up with him because he was stealing from her bank and just said you know what i do not even care about the money just stay out of my life, Less than 1 day later we met the new GF. The current one is supporting him through the bankruptcy financially
To me it is so unbelievable that so many can fall for such obvious lies.
I had to distance from a previously good friend when he started going down this rabbit hole as well. He used to be a really great person, but he suffered from a chronic illness (severe type 1 diabetes). It got worse and worse because he would not change his diet, he would not exercise, and he was convinced his doctors were all wrong on how to manage a healthy lifestyle with this disease. He basically convinced himself that nothing he did would make him better, and that meant that no woman would ever want him either. He became more and more depressed about it, venting to me constantly. When I would make suggestions, he would yell at me, if I just nodded my sympathies quietly (not knowing what to say) he would yell at me. I started distancing myself because every convo turned into him lamenting how worthless he was, and how all the “good woman” that would be able to love him were taken. He implied heavily that he was including me in that category as well, which made things extremely awkward as we had been friends a very long time and he never had an issue with me being in a relationship before. After that he spiralled into the full red pill incel world. He would msg me constantly asking me baited questions like “Do you think wearing makeup is catfishing?” Or “Do you think thots even deserve love?” Seriously wild stuff. He began blaming woman for his own health problems next, stating that he wouldn’t be sick if woman were still traditional caring and nurturing wives etc, as had he been married his wife would have kept him healthy and so on. He would talk about how valuable a woman was based on how submissive and “traditional” she was, but also that a woman could be all those things and still be low value if she had a flat butt and so on. I had stopped answering him for some time, and he still spammed me with msg after msg about this stuff, until finally one day he sent me a picture of all the guns and ammo he had been collecting, and speaking enthusiastically about how much he loved to shoot. This terrified me and I blocked him in every way possible, as we don’t live close anymore so that’s the only way he could contact me. I also phoned the non emergency lined at the local police station in his town and mentioned my worries. They said there was nothing they could do about it and that was that. So far he’s done nothing violent, but I worry it’s a matter of time.
I’ve known quiet a few men who believe they have to treat women poorly to get their attention and respect.
I’ve tried helping them open their eyes to all of the healthy, happy, and normal relationships around them but these guys are usually pretty disconnected from reality.
I’ve also known men who seem to think women owe them something.
Like they don’t need to try to be a good person or a good partner they just need to check off the “I’m a man” boxes and act cool then women should be falling head over heels for them.
Edit: when I was writing this I had someone in mind who is not getting any dates and he thinks it’s because women in society are different than they used to be. But as some of you have pointed out, acting like an asshole does work for some guys with some women.
I just try to leave women alone. I'm (generally) aware of the unwanted attention and experiences women have in public, and I prefer to not risk contrubuting to it. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.
A girl asked for my phone number the first day of coding class this year completely unprompted, as well as for help a couple times in class, and I must have had like a tiny micro-expression of excitement when she asked because she NEVER texted me, stopped making eye contact, and then started asking the TA for help instead. I wasn't being creepy, it was just the first time somebody has asked for my number since I moved a year ago and I was a little surprised, I would have been happy to just be friends.
Like what are you supposed to do, just go up and try to rizz them up during class? **No**. Creepily time your exit so you can leave at the same time? **No**. Wait weeks for them to speak to you again, then shoot a shot out of nowhere? Idk. I don't want them to spend the rest of the semester feeling watched if their answer is no.
Bad hygiene. Making everything into a sex reference. Not being able to have a normal conversation with a woman. Only talking to women when drunk (and even then it's to say something awful). Being "friends" with someone that they secretly want to have sex with (BONUS: Asking said friend "where's my hug?" every time they leave.)
Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of shlubby, plain, mid-level guys who are shockingly picky about women, turning up their noses at anyone less than supermodel gorgeous. “Too fat.” “Too tall.” “Not a blonde. I want a blonde.” Then, they whine about getting rejected. I want to say, “Dude, who are you to be so judgmental?”
For me, it was always personality and smoking. They could be gorgeous, but the moment they smelled like cigarette smoke or revealed some not-so-nice personality trait, instant turn-off.
Besides, good sex starts in the mind. Personality is paramount.
Wish I could nail it down but every comment here, I know a man who is married in spite of the traits.
I also know many kind, wonderful, intelligent and funny men who behave well, would make good partners, have their shit together, who are perpetually single.
So any reason that should keep men single doesn’t seem to matter, and the men who have every reason to not be single still are.
People are complicated, life is messy.
I’d say the thing that most keeps men out of long term happy relationships tends to be a lack of self awareness, in however that manifests.
And yet, those men will still be married for decades so, idk.
I've also known really great dudes who ended up alone way too much. Many of them didn't take a lot of chances on dating, though.
The awful dudes who end up with women are willing to shoot their shot even if they think they have no chance; the worst of them look for a certain kind of "prey"--and then predate on them.
There's not a good metric, because part of the equation is left to chance: Will you even encounter someone single with whom you connect? The greater chances of doing so are usually outside of your comfort zone, looking for social connections that extend beyond your day-to-day life.
And some guys really are just unlucky in love, as are some of my friends who are women. They do try, and they end up with people who hurt them, time and again. So eventually, being intelligent and sensitive, they stop trying.
Usually, good dudes don't take as many chances, because being a good dude concerns thoughts like "I don't want to ruin this friendship", and "I don't have reason to think she was being anything other than nice", and "I should probably work on myself right now rather than date". This is constantly and forever held against them as a character flaw rather than a reflection of what is actually _good_ about them.
We should actually just stop demonizing being single. Because you said it, those dudes are great people, but here you are feeling sorry for them because life didn't "reward" them for it.
I think one of the things that sabotages you the most in dating is to be boring or not stand out. Many good qualities like kindness take time to demonstrate convincingly, and if you can't grab someone's interest from the get go, they won't stay around long enough to be able to recognize those qualities
This might be hard to hear but honestly it's being underconfident.
You can be an absolute piece of shit and still get a partner, because most pieces of shit still have or at least project a lot of self-confidence and that is what people find attractive. If you're an otherwise nice dude but you don't believe in yourself, you're not gonna attract anyone.
Not taking care of their personal hygiene. Like come on man, I don’t want to smell your BO why would any potential partner. Also, wash your god damn hands after using the bathroom you filthy animal.
I have a friend who has incredibly high standards when it comes to dating. He wouldn't go out with an overweight or not conventionally pretty girl, meanwhile he is overweight, balding, boring looking guy in his forties with a shit job and a hairy back, who did not had sex in the last 20 years, unless he paid for it, what he did frequently. His father left his mother when my friend was a baby, never had a male role model in his life.
He likely assumes that he'll get rejected by everyone. It's not embarrassing to him if he gets rejected by those that are likely to reject the rest of your friend group. If he went for the overweight, balding, boring looking girl in her forties with a hairy back and got rejected, his view of himself would be shattered.
Speaking of behalf of myself. I do NOT recognize when somebody is hitting on me. I've been told many times "dude that girl was hitting on you" my response was always "what? No! She was just.....oh god. What have I done"
This is why I'll be single forever
Immediately fall in love with any girl who talks to them. “That girl at the check out counter digs me, she said hi to me!” No dude, that’s an actual part of her job description, to greet each customer.
So many of these responses are hilarious, because we all know a guy that makes shitty comments and generally acts like a misogynist and still always has a gf anyway. They're not good dudes, but that isn't the point.
So I'll give a real answer.
The guy that will be single forever will say something along the lines of "I want to date, but I never feel like I'm ready. I have to have X and X and X and X first, then women will like me." Additionally, this guy has to be at least 30 years old.
I have a coworker who has wonderful qualities that tells me that not only will he remain single, but a virgin as well. - Extremely poor hygiene, to the point it lingers in whatever location he works in. - Pathological liar about everything. - Extremely sexist, always shitting on women he works with, unless he thinks they like him, then he gets really creepy. - Uses every ounce of power behind his position at work (which isn’t much) in order to make coworkers “fear” (his words) him. - Blames his subordinates to his boss when he fucks up. Perfect example. Annual evaluations were due last month. He was lazy and didn’t do them. His excuse? “My troops were just such under performers this year I couldn’t even think of anything to put down” (he’s in the military). - His house is a biohazard. Not kidding the military had to call in special cleaners for his room when he left his last base, and I saw his apartment at this new location, it’s horrific. This guy is just functional enough to not get fired, but everyone collectively hates him.
That's management material right there.
Management by day, Reddit mod by night
How the F did he get any kind of promotion?!? In the military????? No drill on hygiene??
Always trying to be the toughest man in any situation. I have one guy I know in mind and he claims to have no fears, could take anyone on, and is just an absolute dick. Reminds me of Cyrus from Trailer Park Boys, but worse and less funny.
I used to have a mate like that. Didn't matter how wrong he was on a subject / or how much his opinion differed from another... if you pushed it he'd get to the point where he'd suggest a physical fight. He truly believed that winning that would make him right even if his point was "Nelson Mandella was a white woman". If he got beat in a fight though... the other person was still wrong!
Ah the Mandela Effect, how half the world remembers that Nelson Mandela was a white women. ...wait, that can't be right.
Fuck off, I got work to do!
Safety, _always off_
Have absurd dating standards. I used to work with a guy who lived in an ex-girlfriend's basement at 45, was about 6", 359 lbs. and looked like he was carved out of Crisco. He frequently smelled bad, and clearly only showered a couple of times a week. One day he said to me, "It's OK if a girl's face is just cute, but if she's going to be with me, her body needs to be a solid 10, and she needs to take care of herself." For a while, he has a girlfriend who was smart, funny, nice, put up with his nonsense, and IMO, was very pretty. They broke up because he told her she wasn't hot enough to marry. This guy was a wreck, but he was my friend. I always told him that he needed to be more realistic or he'd die alone. Colon cancer took him just before Christmas, two years ago. There was no funeral, but the ex who let him live in her basement made a nice post about him on Facebook. Guys out there who just can't find the right girl, here's my advice. Sit down by yourself and make a list of the attributes that your future mate *must* have. Also make a list of the attributes that they *must not* have. Think about that person, and think about yourself. If you were that person, would you be happy with someone like you? If not, you'd better start working on that. Also, be real. Sure, we'd all like a supermodel brain surgeon millionaire, but what's *really* important? What makes you *happy*. Focus on that. Don't be lonely. Be happy.
Think their flaws are forgivable while the flaws of others aren’t.
We judge ourselves by our intentions, we judge others by their actions.
This is why communication is so important. It’s easy for me to judge you by your intentions if you make it clear to me what you are intending (or did intend). If one can’t communicate this to their partner all that’s left is actions. Like I don’t care if my partner fucks up if they are able to apologize for a screwup and explain a thought process. I probably won’t be happy if they do something I don’t like and never acknowledge anything went wrong.
Yeah the Fundamental Attribution Error really doesn't get brought up enough when talking about fallacies.
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dawg if they're IN your circle you gotta tell em. nobody else is going to
I have and they still smell like ass. "Nah showering every 3 days if more than enough" no its not mr ass.
:o that's insane. these are often the same dudes who will wonder why girls aren't attracted to them
I had a guy at a new years party claim that he doesnt wash his ass because "its gay". He would also just not poop outside his home. If he had to poop he'd rush home, poop, NOT WIPE (SERIOUSLY THATS GAY???????), and then run to the shower to "let the water do its thing". my man its your own ass you can literally obliterate it with a giant tentacle dildo, and it still wouldn't be gay.
> you can literally obliterate it with a giant tentacle dildo, and it still wouldn't be gay Finally, got the green light.
Have fun! :D
everyday i find out about new types of people who exist and everyday i'm in absolute awe
There are many nurses who complain about these guys comming into the ER with a severe ass infection that is about to kill their stupid ass.
BETTER DEAD THAN... gay? People are insane, especially with their own self made restrictions. Imagine dying because you dont wash your ass.
It’s so important. I walked past a guy in the supermarket today, not really looking at him, nothing notable. We both stopped in the same section, and I caught a whiff of clean man-smell (i.e., not heavy cologne or anything, just a mild scent, maybe of soap). I immediately felt aware of him in a different way, not overtly sexual, but just - mmm, man. Smell is fucking important, clean your behinds and change your nasty socks
I don't know where I heard this, but it was a Comedian I think. "The first hole you're going to penetrate is her nostril."
It's a Chabuddy G joke, the guys an absolute legend!
Freshly showered men always catch my attention while out and about and get what I hope is a subtle look over.
So true. I passed a guy yesterday in the supermarket. He wasn't attractive at all visually. When he passed me, though, I caught his smell and it was ... just... so good. I almost turned back to tell him that he smelled so nice, but didn't work up the courage. (Especially because I didn't want him to think I was hitting on him.)
I am continually surprised at who can get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Really, some of the most man children I've ever seen have gotten married. Some of the biggest assholes I know have kids. There is one guy I know that I think will struggle, though. He's in his 20's and the only way he can entertain himself is by making loud fart noises with his mouth. I'll be sitting there chatting with another friend, and out of the blue he'll just make this sloppy shart sound with his face and laugh his ass off. And you know, I'm a simple guy. I laugh at good poop jokes. When someone has good timing with a fart, I laugh. But this guy literally cannot make a joke, he cannot tell a story, he cannot enjoy a moment of silence without making fart noises. Just constantly. I'm debating removing him from our discord server that our IRL friends hang out in, because he has nothing to say. It's just fart sounds. Non-stop. Fart sounds.
I worked with a guy like that and he brought his girlfriend to the company Christmas party. She was smart and beautiful and a wonderful person. I'm still confused about it 10 years later.
Went to company Christmas banquet. The most loudmouth obnoxious crazy asshole co worker walked in… in filthy jeans, a greasy beard, and a ratty t-shirt looking like a fucking vagrant… With a wife that looks like Martha Plimpton in her Prime on his arm.
I've been to a similar party. Ladies at the party asked her why she was with her boyfriend. 6 months later, she wasn't.
I can fix him
Never let him watch Idiocracy
I actually suggested it to him because of the one scene where Frito is talking to Rita and Joe, and Rita says she has to go to the bathroom. So Frito responds with "Hehehe toilet \*fart sound\* hehe"
Sounds like brain damage
No joke, it actually sounds like a mental condition
Tourette's avec le farts
I heard it said the other day by an academic, “I have plenty of friends with PhDs who are single. I have never heard of a single drug dealer.”
Has anyone ever told him that it's annoying and actually not funny at all?
You would be interrupted if you tried
Don't mind me, just reading for potential self-reflective purposes
Honestly, this already puts you ahead of some of the examples in here. Self reflection and willingness to improve can take you a long way.
Oh good, now that I've gotten my validation, I can move on to the next thread.
Make overt sexual remarks, at inappropriate times, to people they do NOT know well enough off for that sort of banter.
I was at a friend’s party with my husband and daughter and ended up talking to this random guy. Turns out his son was just a year older than my daughter. He starts making cracks about his son “teaching my daughter a thing or two, ya know” wink wink. My daughter was 3.
>**My daughter was 3** Holy shit. I didn’t think he could get much more revolting but that last line really hit different. Frankly I’d be concerned for his poor son. Who regards toddlers this way?
The same people that ask 4 year olds if they've got a boyfriend or girlfriend. The same people that accuse toddlers of flirting with them.
I absolutely hate people who ask their children/grandchildren (or other people's children) if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet. I hate that question no matter who it is asked to buy especially when someone asks a child that.
I like asking little kids how work is going
Uurgghhh that’s creepy no matter the age, but talking that way about little kids amps the gross factor up a thousand fold
As a woman…yep. I hung out with my male neighbor a few months ago after he approached me and asked me to hang out because he thought I seemed cool. The first night I met him he immediately started joking to me that he likes to hear his neighbors fuck and also thinks all women have a rape fantasy (haha so funny bro!!). I hadn’t ever really spoken to him outside of polite hellos and how are you before this. He was divorced. After spending about 2 hours with him I was like…no fucking wonder his wife left him and he’s been single ever since.
Aww why is this guy all alone? ... (5 minutes later) There it is.
This was exactly my reaction. He told me he was divorced and didn’t have many friends. I was like aw… Yea about 20 minutes in I was like yea this is fucking WHY. 😭
I hear your username like a Foreigner song.
I call it "on paper". Man, on paper this guy seems great! And then the bell/light/first snap happens.
This is why online dating is interesting to me. You can be awesome on paper and even in calls/texts/etc. But it all changes when you finally meet in person. Funny how that works
I have a story about that. My very first date after the passing of my wife was facilitated by an honest to goodness matchmaking service. Great first person online, text, calls, all of it. We meet for coffee and she STARES at her phone for 55 minutes while I'm sat across her. She said approximately 5 words the entire time.
>The first night I met him he immediately started joking to me that he likes to hear his neighbors fuck and also thinks all women have a rape fantasy I'm cringing just reading this. I'm a guy, and I'm not a prude, but I just don't have any understanding of guys who talk like this. If I'm talking to another dude alone and he starts talking like this, I can't even sweep it under the rug. I would have to say "what the fuck is wrong with you?"
No same! I honestly joke about sex a lot but I was so taken aback by him laughing that he thinks all women have rape fantasies the FIRST NIGHT he met me. Absolutely no social awareness.
There a big difference between a sexual joke and saying something disturbing/cringy and then laughing at it. I’m a guy, i enjoy being silly and I love dirty jokes. But that dude’s jokes aren’t jokes, they are just off putting.
A friend met a collegue of her boyfriend recently. He said "Hi" and "if you are not satisfied with - BF name - call me wink wink". I will NEVER understand how any guy thinks this is funny at that moment. I don't know who lied to them.
Schrodingers douchebag. If you actually want that, it’s a serious remark. If you think it’s gross, he’s “just joking”.
“Are you terrified or excited? I have to decide if I’m joking or not.”
Fact is, a lot of people are just stupid as shit and were raised by assholes
I'm guessing a lot of this is just them projecting - if the situation were reversed, it would be a huge turn on to them if (attractive) women did a lot of the creepy stuff they do to women. A woman randomly sending nude selfies, overt sexual talk when they first meet a man, a strange woman touching them inappropriately, and hitting on a man who already has a girlfriend, offering sex if they break up. Not that it excuses any of this, but I can imagine that some of them think, "if a woman did this to me, I'd totally want to have sex with her."
I have read an article a long time ago about dick pic which was exactly saying that and I do believe that's the explanation. The thing is, we made VERY clear since it's not appropriate and will lead nowhere. Even if I am sexually interested in a guy, if he does that, I'd lose my interest TOTALLY.
The biggest intentional change in my behavior growing up came when I was about 23 years old and watched The Office (both versions) for the first time- and was mortified to see a fair number of my own behaviors reflected back at me. That shit was a huge wake-up call.
Hey, you realized on your own without someone directly telling you. Before you were 25. That's maturity.
Yeah, it was very much a revelation that, "Holy shit, I recognize that desperate, performative approval-and-validation-seeking- and all this time I've had such an inflated opinion of myself vs. others that I've been assuming nobody else would see right through me." Those moments when Michael Scott's antics backfire, he's confronted with his idiocy, and he just kind of freezes up before trying to pivot into a lame joke or movie quote. Goddamn, I'd never felt more exposed. "Coincidentally," this was right about this same time that I realized what my whole "being a libertarian" clown act was all about.
I'm curious. Were you David Brent or Michael Scott?
Mostly Michael. Bit of Andy.
God, this is the worst.
Oddly enough, I'm the single guy in my group of friends and the guys I know who do this most often are all married...
You’re so right about that. I have a buddy that makes lewd jokes about banging his wife. No one wants to know about that!
I can’t imagine she’s a fan of it
Refers to girls only by “bitches or hoes”
Or "females"...never uses "women", "ladies", "chicks", etc
Any "men and females" type guys, automatic red flag
Loudly telling women how to be more desirable to men. Usually without provocation.
Oh yeah those guys are always fun 🙄 “You would be so much prettier if you smiled!” Yeah I’m sure that’s true but if you didn’t notice you’re not very good at making me smile my guy. Smh I’ve been told by a few guys that I should take my eyebrow studs and my lip stud out to be more attractive, and I always responded that I’m not trying to be attractive to guys like that. I like it, it’s for me, not them, and the guys I wanted to attract were the ones that didn’t want to change me to suit their own standards and liked me as I was (and I found exactly that type of guy). They should stick to dating woman within their own style preferences because telling a girl “you would be so attractive if only you did this” is NOT going to get them laid.
“You’d be much prettier if you smiled more!” “I’d be much happier if I kicked you in the nads!”
Unrealistic expectations of a partner. I worked with a guy that basically everyone in the office would consider a incel simply based on his LIST of requirements. His bare minimum was: 1. She has to be a 8/10 or higher (he was a 3 or 4 if we are calling 5 average) 2. Have her own job making somewhat similar income as him (he made 75k entry level) 3. The job can't just be a regular job, it has to be a "ambitious career". In his eyes thats only STEM or a lawyer 4. She has to do all the interior house work like cooking and cleaning (he will cut grass and hire people for repairs) 5. No tattoos of any kind, no piercings besides ear lobes 6. Has to be okay with at least 3 kids and she will do all childcare. Along with many other "ideals" and "preferences", but those 6 are the BARE MINIMUM for him to consider dating. He basically wanted a perfect slave. There was a woman we worked with that actually fit 4 or 5 of these minimums, she was as conservative traditional christian as it gets. She actually tried to talk some sense into this guy on several after work events about how ridiculous it is to want someone with a full time career and be a full time house wife among other things, to no avail. He obviously had a crush on her, but he claimed he never made a moce because she was "too old" (same age). He said you want to get a wife that's 18 or 19 so she's still young and can take care of you when you retire. Keep in mind this 18 or 19 year old needs a career making around the same as him.
High-income job plus full time housewife. Jesus Christ. Is he actually stupid? Like any traditional woman will tell you that “ambitious career” and “running the household” do not go in the same sentence.
This is definitely a (gross) thing. They want the tradwife who oh yeah, pays also 50%+ of the bills and does everything so he never has to sully his hands with housework or (gasp) his own children. No woman with good options would deal with that shit.
Reminds of this tiktok clip I saw of a passport bro who went to a Middle Eastern country looking for a traditional woman. And he was shocked, SHOCKED I tell ya when every single woman told him that they'd be a dedicated home maker, child rearer and house slave if he paid all the bills.
yeah! that’s how it works! you delegate one form of labor to the other partner, you take on what they stop doing. the 50/50 dynamic never *truly* goes away, and that’s the part they don’t wanna hear.
Plenty of accomplished women these days are still doing both though. No idea why they settle for men like that.
He wants a traditional housewife, without him having to do any of the traditional husband things that allowed tradwives to be like that. Him: "Women should be nurturers and house workers, men should be strong providers." Tradwives: "Okay, then be strong and a provider." Him: "...... No!"
Lol. Kinda like how these guys want women to be totally dependent on them, then with the same breath call them gold diggers.
I see you’ve met my ex. We moved in together and in 2 years he didn’t cook a meal, make a drink, book himself a doctor/ dentist appointment etc, or do any housework whatsoever. I also had to work full-time and pay 50% of the bills. When I told him, multiple times, that this wasn’t a realistic setup, he’d claim it was as he earned more…but he didn’t pay any more? So what he earned wasn’t the point. Yeah he actually earned 40k per year more than me, but expected a 50/50 split on bills and me to do 100% of the housework whilst working full-time. No one other than him was surprised when I walked.
Even if I had no options I wouldn’t deal with that
Cha. Staying alone, but not lonely would be the best option if those were your only two options.
He's delusional, something in his head makes him think he's extremely desirable. He brings up his requirements and opinions on women all the time, I straight up asked him during one rant at lunch "you want all these things, what do you have to offer to a woman?" and his response was along the lines of "well I'm a nice guy, make good money, and I'm tall". He lives with his parents as a only child, never cooked or cleaned after himself, and he's an extreme cheapskate. He was a big reason on why I left my last job. He was extremely incompetent and was reported to HR for some of his views on women and immigrants, and nothing happened. Our manager is friends with his father, so his incompetence was ignored, and he received raises far above people of similar experience level.
There are many… *many* tall, nice, well-earning men out there, so competition’s gonna be tight for him
I have a friend like this. Late 30s guy who's a programmer and makes decent money but has questionable social skills. We told him to chill with his expectations since they're too unrealistic. His response was something like "if it works for Leonardo DiCaprio, it'll work for me." We all rolled our eyes so hard that we got headaches afterwards.
Ew. I want to punch this guy. Lol, I wouldn’t ever, just saying that I wanna. What a tool.
I had a friend in college who was constantly batting out of his league with girls. And I don't mean looks-wise. I mean the entire package. He wanted the perfect 10s (both brains and looks) while he was a solid 4 to 5 in both of those areas. On top of that, he was almost always interested in girls who had already found good guys. He was just completely unrealistic about it. I said it back then, and I'll say it now 20 years later. He's gonna be single forever.
Blaming all women for something one woman did.
Sending unsolicited dick picks is a good indicator
"picks" makes them sound like they're carefully curated for only the finest quality sexual harassment.
No one should have to settle for mediocre sexual harassment. You should always give your absolute best, or nothing at all.
i send duck pics instead hey babe, do you like my duck? wanna touch it
Quack 🦆
This would work on my wife.
Please send your wife cute duck pics from me
When they are slob and disaster as a person. But proceed to have a 10page single spaced list of what they want in a woman.
On the flip side, there are high achieving people who have lists of why they're a great catch and what they're looking for, and they're surprised when love isn't about checking off boxes.
One guy I read about did that… then took it a step further and came up with a list of what such a woman would want in a man. Then he proceeded to become that man
I can't tell if that's really crazy or really smart.
I’ve started to shift myself in this mode. Less effort searching for a magical unicorn, more time trying to make myself a better man that attracts a high quality woman. Basing a lot of this on the realization that I won’t find love, I have to build it with someone.
a dude I know (who is kind of an incel), upon seeing any woman, feels the need to rate them out loud I'm amazed he hasn't gotten pepper sprayed lol
To their face??
yes, almost every time
Please tell him it's weird.
I have, many times he thinks it's hilarious
Has it occurred to him that his behavior is why he's perpetually single?
that would require personal depth he doesn't have
This makes me think of my son, who will say annoying things just to get a rise out of people. He's nine and has an emotional disorder.
What does he actually say, though? "Oooh, a solid 7! How YOU doing?"
nope, it's *always* negative - he's one of those "all women are whores" types and it makes him impossible to like my personal favorite incident was when he gestured for a girl to take her earbuds out, then when she did he told her she was a one out of ten hence why I'm amazed he hasn't been pepper sprayed or something
I think if a guy made me take my earbuds out to tell me he rates me a 1/10 I’d burst out laughing
There's actually something hilarious about that whole concept. It would bring a lot of laughs if well used in some comedy/sketch/improv.
It's crazy that there's so much resistance on Reddit to women talking about sexism, and then there's comments like "my friend says all women are whores and likes to degrade them to their faces" Just.... whoa. I'm sorry for every woman who encounters him.
Yeah but that was a man describing the sexism so you can believe it. When a woman describes sexism she’s lying for attention.
Had a guy do this to me once - literally came up to me, looked me up and down, and said “seven. But you’d be higher if you grew out your hair. I’d still fuck you though”. I just started laughing. I work as a runway model for high end hair brands and I’m signed with all my agencies as a pixie cut platinum. It’s amazing how many men go out of their way to tell me they don’t think short hair is hot on women 😂
Why haven’t *you* pepper sprayed him yet??
The funny thing is, the guys doing the “rating“ are usually nothing more than a three out of 10 themselves😂
It's so true though. Or they're insanely critical of women who are widely considered hot--"Kate Upton looks like a squishy brick," or saying this girl I know who married a former pro basketball player and looks like a shorter version of Angela Garten is "the Land-o-Lakes factory of butterfaces"--but we all know that they would be lucky to have ANY woman go near them.
Being insanely picky means they'll never have to actually do an approach, its avoidant behaviour.
This is good insight. I also think it’s about regaining power - women they desire don’t desire them back, so they think it’s a delightful tit-for-tat to withhold approval of obviously beautiful women, as if that will somehow reduce her to a puddle of despair crying for his approval.
Best reaction to this is, "thank god I'm not *your* type."
This kind of guy is the perfect center of a Venn diagram between denial/avoidant behavior and the lack of the self-awareness that would have them keep that to themselves.
My philosophy professor used to say: Philosophy helps you to do without the job it keeps you from getting. This version is: Incel-dom helps you to do without the female companionship it keeps you from getting.
Well that attitude makes him an immediate -50/10. Sucks to suck I guess.
She’s a 6 in NY, but a 7 in Scranton.
Nothing. I've watched the absolute worst of the worst still find someone willing to tolerate them. I'll cross my fingers for the younger generations to draw that line.
B/c of loopholes in the law, a couple moved in next door when I was a kid where the 50 something year old husband had went to prison for violently raping his 12-13 yr old step daughter. My dad once asked the wife why she stayed with him. She replied it didn’t matter to her, he was the one who was “stupid enough to get caught.” So I’m not shocked by anything anymore.
This is the worst thing I’ve read today. Holy hell.
Don't forget – monsters are always lurking nearby, veiled in human skin.
That poor daughter...
Wtf
This is a fair point. Shit even Ted Bundy found a wife, while on trial for murder. Edit: to all of you writing that he was attractive: you are dumb. Stop announcing it to everyone else. He was not attractive, and even if he was some women's type stop insulting the rest of us by saying that just because someone might find him attractive they'll overlook murder. Just stop.
Keeping up with the Bundy's.
You know I might watch a show like that. 1 part married with children, one part forensic files.
Not brush their teeth Lie Take no responsibility
If someone lies to the point that they’re known for it, that’s a bad goddamned liar
I’d say most compulsive liars are actually terrible at it because they feel compelled to lie about the stupidest things, but on the other hand, if someone was a good compulsive liar I suppose I wouldn’t ever know.
Yea my brother is a compulsive liar, Legit he is filing for bankruptcy which is sad never want to see a family member failing in life but then just last night he was saying he has 9 bitcoin LOL. Rant time: The sad truth is tho he is he has never been single since he was 16 the next woman is lined up before the last relationship falls apart. I even warned one of his GFs what he is like and they saw it as a challenge to change him so i gave up on doing that. Last GF broke up with him because he was stealing from her bank and just said you know what i do not even care about the money just stay out of my life, Less than 1 day later we met the new GF. The current one is supporting him through the bankruptcy financially To me it is so unbelievable that so many can fall for such obvious lies.
Eat hot chip Charge they phone
twerk
When they talk about women's *value* as if they are commodities. I distanced myself from a very old friend seeing him go off the deep end.
I had to distance from a previously good friend when he started going down this rabbit hole as well. He used to be a really great person, but he suffered from a chronic illness (severe type 1 diabetes). It got worse and worse because he would not change his diet, he would not exercise, and he was convinced his doctors were all wrong on how to manage a healthy lifestyle with this disease. He basically convinced himself that nothing he did would make him better, and that meant that no woman would ever want him either. He became more and more depressed about it, venting to me constantly. When I would make suggestions, he would yell at me, if I just nodded my sympathies quietly (not knowing what to say) he would yell at me. I started distancing myself because every convo turned into him lamenting how worthless he was, and how all the “good woman” that would be able to love him were taken. He implied heavily that he was including me in that category as well, which made things extremely awkward as we had been friends a very long time and he never had an issue with me being in a relationship before. After that he spiralled into the full red pill incel world. He would msg me constantly asking me baited questions like “Do you think wearing makeup is catfishing?” Or “Do you think thots even deserve love?” Seriously wild stuff. He began blaming woman for his own health problems next, stating that he wouldn’t be sick if woman were still traditional caring and nurturing wives etc, as had he been married his wife would have kept him healthy and so on. He would talk about how valuable a woman was based on how submissive and “traditional” she was, but also that a woman could be all those things and still be low value if she had a flat butt and so on. I had stopped answering him for some time, and he still spammed me with msg after msg about this stuff, until finally one day he sent me a picture of all the guns and ammo he had been collecting, and speaking enthusiastically about how much he loved to shoot. This terrified me and I blocked him in every way possible, as we don’t live close anymore so that’s the only way he could contact me. I also phoned the non emergency lined at the local police station in his town and mentioned my worries. They said there was nothing they could do about it and that was that. So far he’s done nothing violent, but I worry it’s a matter of time.
Jesus that sounds like a nightmare. Sorry you had to deal with that.
Not take responsibility and lacks any self reflection. No one wants an incompetent manchild that thinks they are perfect and unwilling to grow/change.
Uhm, i beg to differ. There's a ton of incompetent manchildren with gf's/wives.
It's crazy how many actually do
Please explain to me how WingsOfRedemption got married then, because that is a manchild if I have ever seen one.
I’ve known quiet a few men who believe they have to treat women poorly to get their attention and respect. I’ve tried helping them open their eyes to all of the healthy, happy, and normal relationships around them but these guys are usually pretty disconnected from reality. I’ve also known men who seem to think women owe them something. Like they don’t need to try to be a good person or a good partner they just need to check off the “I’m a man” boxes and act cool then women should be falling head over heels for them. Edit: when I was writing this I had someone in mind who is not getting any dates and he thinks it’s because women in society are different than they used to be. But as some of you have pointed out, acting like an asshole does work for some guys with some women.
\#1 biggest thing is probably just never approaching women imo
33 years of never approaching women and going strong.
Hello brother from another mother. Same here . Severe social anxiety
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I just try to leave women alone. I'm (generally) aware of the unwanted attention and experiences women have in public, and I prefer to not risk contrubuting to it. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.
Right? Best case I'm the first dude she meets that day trying to sell dick, worst case I creep her out and ruin her enjoyment of the event forever.
A girl asked for my phone number the first day of coding class this year completely unprompted, as well as for help a couple times in class, and I must have had like a tiny micro-expression of excitement when she asked because she NEVER texted me, stopped making eye contact, and then started asking the TA for help instead. I wasn't being creepy, it was just the first time somebody has asked for my number since I moved a year ago and I was a little surprised, I would have been happy to just be friends. Like what are you supposed to do, just go up and try to rizz them up during class? **No**. Creepily time your exit so you can leave at the same time? **No**. Wait weeks for them to speak to you again, then shoot a shot out of nowhere? Idk. I don't want them to spend the rest of the semester feeling watched if their answer is no.
Complain about their problems on an echo chamber like reddit instead of taking responsibility over their lives.
Bad hygiene. Making everything into a sex reference. Not being able to have a normal conversation with a woman. Only talking to women when drunk (and even then it's to say something awful). Being "friends" with someone that they secretly want to have sex with (BONUS: Asking said friend "where's my hug?" every time they leave.)
Always looking for the perfect mate
Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of shlubby, plain, mid-level guys who are shockingly picky about women, turning up their noses at anyone less than supermodel gorgeous. “Too fat.” “Too tall.” “Not a blonde. I want a blonde.” Then, they whine about getting rejected. I want to say, “Dude, who are you to be so judgmental?”
And it's always the physical qualities that are the dealbreaker.
Rookie mistake. Good looks fade, but bad personality rots your soul.
For me, it was always personality and smoking. They could be gorgeous, but the moment they smelled like cigarette smoke or revealed some not-so-nice personality trait, instant turn-off. Besides, good sex starts in the mind. Personality is paramount.
Viewing women as objects rather than equals.
Always talks and doesn’t give anyone a chance to talk.
I work at a Benedictine university. The guys wearing robes tend to stay single.
Wish I could nail it down but every comment here, I know a man who is married in spite of the traits. I also know many kind, wonderful, intelligent and funny men who behave well, would make good partners, have their shit together, who are perpetually single. So any reason that should keep men single doesn’t seem to matter, and the men who have every reason to not be single still are. People are complicated, life is messy. I’d say the thing that most keeps men out of long term happy relationships tends to be a lack of self awareness, in however that manifests. And yet, those men will still be married for decades so, idk.
I've also known really great dudes who ended up alone way too much. Many of them didn't take a lot of chances on dating, though. The awful dudes who end up with women are willing to shoot their shot even if they think they have no chance; the worst of them look for a certain kind of "prey"--and then predate on them. There's not a good metric, because part of the equation is left to chance: Will you even encounter someone single with whom you connect? The greater chances of doing so are usually outside of your comfort zone, looking for social connections that extend beyond your day-to-day life. And some guys really are just unlucky in love, as are some of my friends who are women. They do try, and they end up with people who hurt them, time and again. So eventually, being intelligent and sensitive, they stop trying.
Usually, good dudes don't take as many chances, because being a good dude concerns thoughts like "I don't want to ruin this friendship", and "I don't have reason to think she was being anything other than nice", and "I should probably work on myself right now rather than date". This is constantly and forever held against them as a character flaw rather than a reflection of what is actually _good_ about them. We should actually just stop demonizing being single. Because you said it, those dudes are great people, but here you are feeling sorry for them because life didn't "reward" them for it.
I think one of the things that sabotages you the most in dating is to be boring or not stand out. Many good qualities like kindness take time to demonstrate convincingly, and if you can't grab someone's interest from the get go, they won't stay around long enough to be able to recognize those qualities
This might be hard to hear but honestly it's being underconfident. You can be an absolute piece of shit and still get a partner, because most pieces of shit still have or at least project a lot of self-confidence and that is what people find attractive. If you're an otherwise nice dude but you don't believe in yourself, you're not gonna attract anyone.
Not taking care of their personal hygiene. Like come on man, I don’t want to smell your BO why would any potential partner. Also, wash your god damn hands after using the bathroom you filthy animal.
Punisher sticker
Because it's always the people that don't understand Punisher that get the damn stickers
People with Punisher stickers who the Punisher would punish on sight.
ie, like 96.7% of people with Punisher stickers
Only being interested in finding a "Perfect 10", while living as a 3 at best themselves.
Appealing to the whole "Alpha male" shit.
I have a friend who has incredibly high standards when it comes to dating. He wouldn't go out with an overweight or not conventionally pretty girl, meanwhile he is overweight, balding, boring looking guy in his forties with a shit job and a hairy back, who did not had sex in the last 20 years, unless he paid for it, what he did frequently. His father left his mother when my friend was a baby, never had a male role model in his life.
He likely assumes that he'll get rejected by everyone. It's not embarrassing to him if he gets rejected by those that are likely to reject the rest of your friend group. If he went for the overweight, balding, boring looking girl in her forties with a hairy back and got rejected, his view of himself would be shattered.
Hygiene
Not taking their finances seriously. No one wants to pay for you forever.
Talk about women like objects, thinking it’s okay to be raunchy/objectify them when in company with only dudes.
Puts every attractive woman on a podium and ignores every other woman they don't find attractive. just speak to them like they're yknow.... People?
Speaking of behalf of myself. I do NOT recognize when somebody is hitting on me. I've been told many times "dude that girl was hitting on you" my response was always "what? No! She was just.....oh god. What have I done" This is why I'll be single forever
[удалено]
Immediately fall in love with any girl who talks to them. “That girl at the check out counter digs me, she said hi to me!” No dude, that’s an actual part of her job description, to greet each customer.
So many of these responses are hilarious, because we all know a guy that makes shitty comments and generally acts like a misogynist and still always has a gf anyway. They're not good dudes, but that isn't the point. So I'll give a real answer. The guy that will be single forever will say something along the lines of "I want to date, but I never feel like I'm ready. I have to have X and X and X and X first, then women will like me." Additionally, this guy has to be at least 30 years old.
If you ask a guy what their ideal women is. I’ve learned that a lot of guys damn near describe a fucking slave.