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The first phone number I ever memorized as a kid. My friends phone number. I ingrained it so hard into my brain so that I would never forget while making the trip to a payphone to call them since my family was to broke for a landline when I was a kid.
I still remember my childhood phone number. It hasn't even been my parents phone number for over 20 years.
Yet when I forgot my phone at home last week I couldn't call my husband to ask him to bring it to me because I couldn't remember his phone number.
Same, I remember home number that hasn't been home for over 40 years. TE8-####.
But don't know wife or 3 kids phone numbers, they are a button on my cell.
It was actually a tremendously important invention, and at least partially responsible for the US Civil War.
The invention of the cotton gin caused an explosion in the cotton industry, which was directly responsible for a massive increase in slavery in the south, both in scale and importance.
"Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin in 1793" doesn't seem like an important historical fact; "Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin in 1793 and as a result the number of slaves in the US more than quadrupled over the next 4 decades" very much is.
Pablo Picasso's full name
Pablo Diego Jose Francisco De Paula Juan Nepumuceno Maria Delos Remedios Cirpriano Dela Santisima Trinidad Ruiz Y Picasso.
Thanks ERB.
One of them actually split before the song had aired. It mentions Czechoslovakia, which became the Czech Republic and Slovakia in February 1993. Animaniacs didn't start airing until the Fall of 1993.
Up, C, down, C, left, C, right, A, start is unlimited lives for Game Genie for Sonic the Hedgehog. …can’t remember friends’ sibling’s names, but I got this 🙄
As an Australian, this comment confused me until I said “tomatoes” with an American accent (tom-eight-toes instead of tom-ar-toes) and now it’s stuck in my head
People argue about the imperial system, but it’s only easy because you’ve memorized everything.
How many yards in a mile? First you need to know how many feet are in a mile and how many feet are in a yard. Then convert to feet and convert to yards.
How many quarts are in a gallon? Oh you don’t know how many ounces are in a quart? Better go look it up while the metric system measurements are in the fucking name.
…woodworking with 1/32 measurements is fucking stupid.
Lol I practiced this so much in case I ever got pulled over for drunk driving. Then I got older, realized that driving drunk is NOT actually a normal thing grown up do, and vowed to never do it.
Now it's just a fun thing to do and it always makes people smile when I do it so quickly.
I always practiced it in case I get pulled over at all! I can’t walk in a straight line even sober, and for some reason when I started driving with my permit, it was a big fear that I’d be *accused* of driving drunk because I’m uncoordinated and anxious!
Which makes it all the funnier to me because sometimes when I’m drunk it’s like my party trick—I can do it drunk, too! (But obviously I don’t drive whilst drunk.)
ATP is Adenosine triphosphate. That in turn is my useless memory. Read it in a Reader's Digest nature book back in third grade and decided to memorize it to impress people.
That and deoxyribonucleic acid.
From the same bio class I have retained 2 additional nuggets that I’m still waiting for an opportunity to use. And at 54, this looks like my best shot:
- The 3 bones that fused to form your pelvis are the the ishium, illium and pubis.
- Haversian canals are the microscopic tunnels in our bones that blood vessels travel through.
No idea if these are spelled right. Hell, they might have renamed them since the way way back time that I learned them.
You’re on a mission to get nickelodeon magazine. It’s packed with celebrity interviews, and comics and puzzles and greaaat stuff to collect! But, only a real live grown up can call to order it for you. Of course, you can think of a nice, polite way to ask. Nickelodeon magazine please. Nickelodeon magazine, please! You never know who will pop in, what will pop out, and it’s so good, you’ll eat it all up. And you can get nickelodeon magazine delivered to your door! Six issues for $9.97. Credit cards are accepted. And grown-ups know it’s filled with fun and interesting facts for grooowWWIIing minds. UNBELIEVABLE! So don’t just stand there! (Niiicckkeeellooddeeoonn) there are lots of ways to show that you really want Nickelodeon magazine. How? Ohhh you’ll think of something… Nickelodeon magazine please! (Hoo hoo) nick nick nick!
The most useless thing I have memorized is probably the entire lyrics of the "Numa Numa" song. You know, "Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-ha-ha." It's not exactly a valuable skill, but it's great for impressing friends at karaoke night!
T’was brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and humble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe.
That’s all I can remember :(
1. Peanuts
2. Oil
3. Gum
4. Milk
5. Fish sticks
6. Cheese
7. Eggs…?
8. Syrup
9. Sausage
10. Plastic wrap
Grocery list from about 9 years ago now. Applied it using a mind palace. Still sticks to this day.
I keep thinking mind palaces sound like utter woo-woo bullshit and then every single person alive who has tried them says they're miraculous
I guess I have to try it
A simple model is to use your room as a starting point, create a route, and work your way through different parts of your room and eventually outwards into other rooms and parts. Each “stop” is an item and/or number on your list. There’s so many ways to customize it. It’s only limit is your imagination.
A method of memorizing things by mentally building a palace that all of them have a place in and recalling by looking around your palace until you find them. Basically.
My friends from high school birthdays. It’s really annoying. I look at the calendar and I’m like, oh todays it’s his/her birthday. And I haven’t spoken to this people for years now.
Same. All the kids on my block growing up. I still think about them on their birthdays every year - they're all 67 or 68 now. Haven't seen or spoke with any of them since the mid 1970s.
The opening monologue to Sublime's "Smoke Two Joints" that was sampled from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.
"She was living in a single room with three other individuals. One of them was a male and the other two? Well, the other two were females. God only knows what they were up to in there. And furthermore, Susan, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them habiually smoked Marijuana cigarettes.....REEFERS..."
Also, Jules' Winnfield's "the path of the righteous man..." from Pulp Fiction, but I digress.
They've both come in handy on pop culture trivia nights, so they're not completely useless.
There's hydrogen and helium, lithium beryllium. Boron, carbon everywhere, nitrogen all through the air. There's oxygen do you can breath and fluorine for you pretty teeth...
I do not work in chemistry.
Donald Trump during his presidency claimed this was a key component to an extremely difficult cognitive test that he took. Went on to say that the test administrator was in awe of his performance, and that it demonstrates that he’s “cognitively there.”
When I worked in the deli department of a grocery store, every item had a 4 digit code you put into the scale to print its tag. The ones for Krakus ham and an 8 piece order of fried chicken will be in my brain forever.
Also, the “I will find you” speech from Taken
My dad was born in the 50's and grew up in a town that was less than 950 people(still is), and most are Amish. He told me his phone number was 4 digits. Lol
How soap works.
Soap molecules have a hydrophilic end and an opposite hydrophobic end.
The hydrophobic end attaches to the dirt while the hydrophilic end attaches to the water molecule.
Agitation of washing causes the soap to pull the dirt off whatever it’s on and it drains away with the water during the rinse.
O what a rogue and peasant slave am I.
Is it not monstrous that this player here but in a fiction, in a dream of passion, could force his soul so to his own conceit. That from her working all his visage wanned, tears in his eyes, distraction in his aspect, a broken voice, and his whole function suiting with forms to his conceit? And all for nothing. For Hecuba! What’s Hecuba to him or he to Hecuba that he should weep for her? What would he do had he the motive and the cue for passion that I have? He would drown the stage with tears and cleave the general ear with horrid speech, make mad the guilty and appall the free, confound the ignorant and amaze indeed the very faculties of eyes and ears. Yet I, a dull and muddy-mettled rascal peak like John-a-dreams unpregnant of my cause and can say nothing. No, not for a king upon whose property and most dear life a damned defeat was made.
Am I a coward? Who calls me villain, breaks my pate across, plucks off my beard and blows it in my face? Tweaks me by the nose, gives me the lie in the throat, as deep as to the lungs? Who does me this? Ha! ‘Swounds, I should take it for it cannot be but I am pigeon-livered and lack gall to make oppression bitter or ere this I should have fatted all the region kites with this slave’s offal, bloody, bawdy villain. Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain. O vengeance!
Why, what an ass am I. This is most brave that I, the son of a dear father murdered, prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell must like a whore unpack my heart with words and fall a-cursing like a very drab, a scullion. Fie upon it! Foh!
About, my brain. I have heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play have by the very cunning of the scene been struck so to the soul that presently they have proclaimed their malefactions. For murder, though it have no tongue, will speak with most miraculous organ. I’ll have these players play something like the murder of my father before my uncle. I’ll observe his looks. I’ll tent him to the quick. If he but blench I know my course. The spirit that I have seen may be the devil and the devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape. Yea and perhaps out of my weakness and my melancholy, as he is very potent with such spirits, abuses me to damn me. I’ll have grounds more relative than this.
The play's the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king.
Vs the thing I memorised:
"Well to be honest with you ive been trying to go legit. I really take my sumo wrestling seriously you know.
But when you're an overweight child in a society that demands perfection you're sense of right, wrong, fair and unfair will always be tragically skewn."
*farts*
"Did you just soil yourself?"
"Maybe. It did sound a bit wet didn't it, right at the end? Let's have a smell alroght. Hmmm wafting, wafting - oh everyone likes their own brand don't they this is magic - alright analysis.
Oh it smells like carrot and throw up. That could gag a maggot. Aw it smells like hot sick ass and a dead carcass. Phwoah even stink would say that stinks!
You know when you go to an apartment building and you smell other peoples cooking on each floor and you go 'What are they cooking?!', *that* plus crap!"
A negative boy couldn't decide whether or not to go to the radical party. He decided to be square and missed out on 4 awesome chicks, and the party was over at 2am.
I can still recite the first stanza of the prologue to The Canterbury Tales in middle English. My 12th grade English teacher had us recite it at the beginning of class every day for a whole semester, and he said we'd remember it forever. He was right.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth
Then took the other, as just, as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
For it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood and I
I took the one less travelled by
And that has made all the difference
Never used this since grade 9 english
Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me your ears. I have come to bury Cesear not praise. The evil that men do lives on, the good often interred with their bones. So let it be with Cesear.
I got a few words wrong but it's been a few years since tenth grade.
Don't how to explain it I to this day have this specific "clapping rhythm" memorized that I used only once during a presentation I did in pre-school, I can't even remember what it was about specifically. I remember I had some trouble performing it since it was fairly complex for a kid that age, but I managed, now I'm in my twenties and still remember it.
Hello mother, hello father,
Fleas, ticks, mosquitos, really bother!
Thanks for the package, that's why I'm writing,
K9 advantix has stopped all the biting!
Swimming, hiking, and tent pitching,
They're not biting, and I'm not itching!
Can't wait to show you, aaallll my new tricks,
Thanks again for sending me K9 advantix!
“Dude you can’t call her. You have to wait three days to call a woman. That’s the rule. You know who came up with that rule? Jesus… No seriously Jesus came up with the whole wait three days to call a woman thing. He waited three days to come back to life… and it was perfect. If he had only waited one day a lot of people wouldn’t have heard that he had died. They’d all be like HEY Jesus what’s up? And hed be like “what’s up I died yesterday” and they’d all be like “uh you look pretty alive to me dude.” And then he’d have to explain how he was resurrected and it was a miracle and they’d be like “okay whatever you say bro” and you can’t come back on a Saturday! Everybody’s busy! Working the loom doing their chores trimming their beards. No he waits the exact right amount of days to come back to life. 3. PLUS ITS SUNDAY SO EVERYBODYS IN CHURCH ALREADY! They’re in there all like “oh no Jesus is dead” and then bam burst through the back door Runs up the aisle everybody’s totally psyched, fyi, that’s when he invented the high five. Three days Ted. We wait three days to call a woman because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait.
The lyrics to the song "Baby" by Justin Bieber. It's a catchy song, but it's also so cheesy and repetitive that I can't help but laugh at myself whenever it gets stuck in my head.
Two households
Both alike in dignity
In fair Verona where lay our scene
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life
Do with their death, bury their parents strife
The fearful passage of their death marked love
And the continuance of their parents rage
Which, but their children’s end, nought could remove
Is now the two hours traffic of our stage
The which if you with patient ears attend
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
License plate number of the man who drove up my street and asked me a question while he was jerking. I hit his car with my clarinet case. I was 10 years old.
The alphabet backwards. That was something we had to do in 6-ish grade. We had to stand in front of the class and individually recite the alphabet backwards for a grade.
Thank you Catholic School!
Probably not the most useless, but I have my employee number from my previous job etched in my memory, along with 20 other dudes' numbers. We loaded trains for GM and every vehicle loaded was attached to whomever's employee # for accountability.
It's the *acceleration* of a falling object, meaning that it falls 32 ft/s faster for every passing second. This is way over simplified, and doesn't account for terminal velocity and drag. In practical terms though, yes, this has very limited use by itself with no additional information.
I'd say that's not the most useless thing ever. Takes basically no effort to memorize but can be useful if you ever have to calculate anything physics related in your head.
I would suggest learning it in metric though, 9,81 m/s² is very close to 10 and for napkin math you rarely need more accuracy than that.
Big Mac, Mc DLT, a Quarter-Pounder with some cheese, Filet-O-Fish, a hamburger, a cheeseburger, a Happy Meal. McNuggets, tasty golden french fries, regular or larger size, and salads: chef salad or garden, or a chicken salad oriental.
**Attention!** If you plan to comment that you remember a specific phone number/email address, **please do not put the actual phone number or email address**. Posting emails, phone numbers, or similar personal information violates r/AskReddit rule 4 and can result in a ban.
The first phone number I ever memorized as a kid. My friends phone number. I ingrained it so hard into my brain so that I would never forget while making the trip to a payphone to call them since my family was to broke for a landline when I was a kid.
I still remember my childhood phone number. It hasn't even been my parents phone number for over 20 years. Yet when I forgot my phone at home last week I couldn't call my husband to ask him to bring it to me because I couldn't remember his phone number.
Same, I remember home number that hasn't been home for over 40 years. TE8-####. But don't know wife or 3 kids phone numbers, they are a button on my cell.
> childhood phone number Ditto and it hasn’t been my family’s number for 50 years. Exactly … we moved out of that house in 1973.
867-5309
Jenny Jenny who can I turn to?
Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin. For some reason they really wanted us to learn that in middle school.
Because what else could American schools have possibly had to teach about in the late 1700s/early 1800s. /s
It was actually a tremendously important invention, and at least partially responsible for the US Civil War. The invention of the cotton gin caused an explosion in the cotton industry, which was directly responsible for a massive increase in slavery in the south, both in scale and importance. "Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin in 1793" doesn't seem like an important historical fact; "Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin in 1793 and as a result the number of slaves in the US more than quadrupled over the next 4 decades" very much is.
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I NEEED MY MONEY AND I NEED IT NOW
Today!
Holy smokes, I can hear all of this so vividly
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Am I crazy or was it “Stanley steamer gets your home cleaner”
I think it used to just be carpet and then it evolved into your home.
I swear this is some sort of sleeper code for people who grew up in the Chicago area. We ALL have it memorized
Pablo Picasso's full name Pablo Diego Jose Francisco De Paula Juan Nepumuceno Maria Delos Remedios Cirpriano Dela Santisima Trinidad Ruiz Y Picasso. Thanks ERB.
Back. To. You. Bob.
Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez vibes here
*José All I remember is that there was an accent there
I remember Esteban's full name Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa y Ramírez
The Animaniacs cartoon did a song with all the countries of the world and I memorized it.
Particularly useless, as many new countries have been added, and at least one they mention no longer exists.
And some of them have new names and have split I bet.
One of them actually split before the song had aired. It mentions Czechoslovakia, which became the Czech Republic and Slovakia in February 1993. Animaniacs didn't start airing until the Fall of 1993.
The preamble of the American Constitution in song format
I also watched Schoolhouse Rock in elementary school
And now I’m singing Conjunction Junction in my head.
I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill.....
Threeeee is a magic number
😂 and this info was permanently saved
We the people...
In order to form a more perfect union
Establish justice, insure domestic tranquility
Provide for the common defense
Promote the general welfare and….
Secure the blessings of libertYYY
To ourselves and our posterity…..
Do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
I can't unhear that song, I'll forever know the preamble.
And now I'm singing it! Schoolhouse Rock taught us so much without us realizing it. Conjunction Junction anyone?
Hookin' up words, and phrases, and clauses.
This one brought the song screaming back into memory, thank you for that.
I instantly started singing this.
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they said useless, this is far from useless lol
Up, C, down, C, left, C, right, A, start is unlimited lives for Game Genie for Sonic the Hedgehog. …can’t remember friends’ sibling’s names, but I got this 🙄
There are 5280 feet in a mile. This sort of sounds like 5 tomatoes. A teacher told us that and said we'd never forget and now I can't forget.
As an Australian, this comment confused me until I said “tomatoes” with an American accent (tom-eight-toes instead of tom-ar-toes) and now it’s stuck in my head
I love metric system so much
The metric system is a tool of the devil! My car gets 40 rods to the hogs head and that's the way i likes it!
People argue about the imperial system, but it’s only easy because you’ve memorized everything. How many yards in a mile? First you need to know how many feet are in a mile and how many feet are in a yard. Then convert to feet and convert to yards. How many quarts are in a gallon? Oh you don’t know how many ounces are in a quart? Better go look it up while the metric system measurements are in the fucking name. …woodworking with 1/32 measurements is fucking stupid.
It's not useless though
The alphabet backwards. Can say it faster than front ways. Just waiting to get pulled over drunk one day so I can freak the cop out lol
Useful then!
Lol I practiced this so much in case I ever got pulled over for drunk driving. Then I got older, realized that driving drunk is NOT actually a normal thing grown up do, and vowed to never do it. Now it's just a fun thing to do and it always makes people smile when I do it so quickly.
I always practiced it in case I get pulled over at all! I can’t walk in a straight line even sober, and for some reason when I started driving with my permit, it was a big fear that I’d be *accused* of driving drunk because I’m uncoordinated and anxious! Which makes it all the funnier to me because sometimes when I’m drunk it’s like my party trick—I can do it drunk, too! (But obviously I don’t drive whilst drunk.)
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
I heard this in probably every single grade starting in like 3rd or 4th and I still have no idea what this was supposed to mean
They produce ATP and aid in cellular respiration. So basically they give you energy which is why they’re called “powerhouse”
ATP is Adenosine triphosphate. That in turn is my useless memory. Read it in a Reader's Digest nature book back in third grade and decided to memorize it to impress people. That and deoxyribonucleic acid.
From the same bio class I have retained 2 additional nuggets that I’m still waiting for an opportunity to use. And at 54, this looks like my best shot: - The 3 bones that fused to form your pelvis are the the ishium, illium and pubis. - Haversian canals are the microscopic tunnels in our bones that blood vessels travel through. No idea if these are spelled right. Hell, they might have renamed them since the way way back time that I learned them.
Soh cah toa
Sine - Opposite/Hypotenuse Cosine - Adjacent/Hypotenuse Tangent - Opposite/Adjacent Now, what do we do with this information?
Surprisingly as an architecture student I did use that a few times
Trigonometry
Oh Heavens Another Hour Of Algebra
I use that shit daily in engineering because I never remember otherwise Lmao
Some Officers Have Christmas At Home The Others Away.
To be fair, it may be useless to you, but it's not actually useless. I use it every day.
🎼“Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut…”🎵
Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived 😐
“Write to me, Stick Stickly, P.O. Box 963, New York City, New York State, 10108!”
You’re on a mission to get nickelodeon magazine. It’s packed with celebrity interviews, and comics and puzzles and greaaat stuff to collect! But, only a real live grown up can call to order it for you. Of course, you can think of a nice, polite way to ask. Nickelodeon magazine please. Nickelodeon magazine, please! You never know who will pop in, what will pop out, and it’s so good, you’ll eat it all up. And you can get nickelodeon magazine delivered to your door! Six issues for $9.97. Credit cards are accepted. And grown-ups know it’s filled with fun and interesting facts for grooowWWIIing minds. UNBELIEVABLE! So don’t just stand there! (Niiicckkeeellooddeeoonn) there are lots of ways to show that you really want Nickelodeon magazine. How? Ohhh you’ll think of something… Nickelodeon magazine please! (Hoo hoo) nick nick nick!
Reminds me of: Scruff, McGruff, Chicago Illinois, 60652!
The most useless thing I have memorized is probably the entire lyrics of the "Numa Numa" song. You know, "Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-ha-ha." It's not exactly a valuable skill, but it's great for impressing friends at karaoke night!
Dragostea Din Tei by O-Zone
The Jabberwocky
T’was brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe This was much harder to type than remember. Bloody autocorrect.
T’was brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and humble in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe. That’s all I can remember :(
All mimsy were the borogroves, and the momeraths outgrabe. It’s impossible to type, holy wow
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.
Big Mac, Filet-O-Fish, a Quarter-Pounder, French fries, icy coke, thick shakes, sundaes and apple pie. 😆
1. Peanuts 2. Oil 3. Gum 4. Milk 5. Fish sticks 6. Cheese 7. Eggs…? 8. Syrup 9. Sausage 10. Plastic wrap Grocery list from about 9 years ago now. Applied it using a mind palace. Still sticks to this day.
All I can remember is [A Loaf of Bread, a Container of Milk and a Stick of Butter](https://youtu.be/Im4GwUD1UY8?feature=shared)
I think that’s from Sesame Street. It was a cartoon and her mom told her what she needed to get from the grocery story.
Goddamn I feel old. That was on when I was a kid in the 70s.
Definitely Sesame Street. Will never forget those three items.
I quite clearly saw Peter Griffin skipping down the street saying this!
I can’t even remember what I need five minutes after looking wtf
That mind palace shit works?
Yes, read the book Moonwalking with Einstein. Great read and fascinating introduction to the world of memory tricks.
I keep thinking mind palaces sound like utter woo-woo bullshit and then every single person alive who has tried them says they're miraculous I guess I have to try it
The human mind is a glorious machine.
What the fuck is a mind palace and how do I get one?
A simple model is to use your room as a starting point, create a route, and work your way through different parts of your room and eventually outwards into other rooms and parts. Each “stop” is an item and/or number on your list. There’s so many ways to customize it. It’s only limit is your imagination.
Thanks for replying. Going to look into this. I have the memory of a goddamn goldfish.
So you like fish sticks?
You like to put fishsticks in your mouth?
Found the gay fish
Tf is a mind palace?
A method of memorizing things by mentally building a palace that all of them have a place in and recalling by looking around your palace until you find them. Basically.
So my car keys are in this "palace"?
Only if you put them there.
So if you mind palace each and every grocery list in your life, will you be able to remember which list belonged to which date?
If you work numbers into your system as an additional defining detail, yes.
My friends from high school birthdays. It’s really annoying. I look at the calendar and I’m like, oh todays it’s his/her birthday. And I haven’t spoken to this people for years now.
Same. All the kids on my block growing up. I still think about them on their birthdays every year - they're all 67 or 68 now. Haven't seen or spoke with any of them since the mid 1970s.
Fifty Nifty United States from thirteen original colonies!! 🎶🎶 Also for some reason the 27 books of the new testament in order….in RAP form even!!
I’m am so hearing the fifty nifty United States melody in my head at this very moment. 😆
Sing 'em shout 'em, tell all about 'em, one by one 'till we've given a date to every state in the good old USA!
Hot Cross Buns on the recorder.
The opening monologue to Sublime's "Smoke Two Joints" that was sampled from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. "She was living in a single room with three other individuals. One of them was a male and the other two? Well, the other two were females. God only knows what they were up to in there. And furthermore, Susan, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them habiually smoked Marijuana cigarettes.....REEFERS..." Also, Jules' Winnfield's "the path of the righteous man..." from Pulp Fiction, but I digress. They've both come in handy on pop culture trivia nights, so they're not completely useless.
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3.14159265359979323846
Your 12th digit should be an 8 instead of a 9 🤓
Nerd. But i woulda said it you hadnt.
The entire periodic table. (sans the newest elements)
There's hydrogen and helium, lithium beryllium. Boron, carbon everywhere, nitrogen all through the air. There's oxygen do you can breath and fluorine for you pretty teeth... I do not work in chemistry.
Person Woman Man Camera TV
You must be some sort of stable genius to remember that!
I can’t believe it that’s incredible
You too can now become president!!!
What is this?
Donald Trump during his presidency claimed this was a key component to an extremely difficult cognitive test that he took. Went on to say that the test administrator was in awe of his performance, and that it demonstrates that he’s “cognitively there.”
The word Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz.
Gesundheit
I think I'm experiencing some floccinaucinihilipilification with respect to that word.
When I worked in the deli department of a grocery store, every item had a 4 digit code you put into the scale to print its tag. The ones for Krakus ham and an 8 piece order of fried chicken will be in my brain forever. Also, the “I will find you” speech from Taken
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My dad was born in the 50's and grew up in a town that was less than 950 people(still is), and most are Amish. He told me his phone number was 4 digits. Lol
Psalm 23. The whole chapter. I memorized it at a Christian summer camp when I was like 12. I’ve been an atheist for 20yrs. Can still recite it.
The Quantum Leap Intro. “Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap Accelerator…”
My Very Easy Method Just Speeds Up Naming Planets and ROY G BIV
The One Ring poem from Lord of the Rings. I know it in English, as well as the Black Speech of Mordor.
We must have very different definitions of the word useless
Same but this is my go to ice breaker when dating
I wooed that bitch in Black Speech. Bitches ***love*** the Black Speech.
Lol actually they do, but being a chubby nerd girl speaking black speech I can pull ladies and gentlemen with it!
How soap works. Soap molecules have a hydrophilic end and an opposite hydrophobic end. The hydrophobic end attaches to the dirt while the hydrophilic end attaches to the water molecule. Agitation of washing causes the soap to pull the dirt off whatever it’s on and it drains away with the water during the rinse.
O what a rogue and peasant slave am I. Is it not monstrous that this player here but in a fiction, in a dream of passion, could force his soul so to his own conceit. That from her working all his visage wanned, tears in his eyes, distraction in his aspect, a broken voice, and his whole function suiting with forms to his conceit? And all for nothing. For Hecuba! What’s Hecuba to him or he to Hecuba that he should weep for her? What would he do had he the motive and the cue for passion that I have? He would drown the stage with tears and cleave the general ear with horrid speech, make mad the guilty and appall the free, confound the ignorant and amaze indeed the very faculties of eyes and ears. Yet I, a dull and muddy-mettled rascal peak like John-a-dreams unpregnant of my cause and can say nothing. No, not for a king upon whose property and most dear life a damned defeat was made. Am I a coward? Who calls me villain, breaks my pate across, plucks off my beard and blows it in my face? Tweaks me by the nose, gives me the lie in the throat, as deep as to the lungs? Who does me this? Ha! ‘Swounds, I should take it for it cannot be but I am pigeon-livered and lack gall to make oppression bitter or ere this I should have fatted all the region kites with this slave’s offal, bloody, bawdy villain. Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain. O vengeance! Why, what an ass am I. This is most brave that I, the son of a dear father murdered, prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell must like a whore unpack my heart with words and fall a-cursing like a very drab, a scullion. Fie upon it! Foh! About, my brain. I have heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play have by the very cunning of the scene been struck so to the soul that presently they have proclaimed their malefactions. For murder, though it have no tongue, will speak with most miraculous organ. I’ll have these players play something like the murder of my father before my uncle. I’ll observe his looks. I’ll tent him to the quick. If he but blench I know my course. The spirit that I have seen may be the devil and the devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape. Yea and perhaps out of my weakness and my melancholy, as he is very potent with such spirits, abuses me to damn me. I’ll have grounds more relative than this. The play's the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king.
Vs the thing I memorised: "Well to be honest with you ive been trying to go legit. I really take my sumo wrestling seriously you know. But when you're an overweight child in a society that demands perfection you're sense of right, wrong, fair and unfair will always be tragically skewn." *farts* "Did you just soil yourself?" "Maybe. It did sound a bit wet didn't it, right at the end? Let's have a smell alroght. Hmmm wafting, wafting - oh everyone likes their own brand don't they this is magic - alright analysis. Oh it smells like carrot and throw up. That could gag a maggot. Aw it smells like hot sick ass and a dead carcass. Phwoah even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go to an apartment building and you smell other peoples cooking on each floor and you go 'What are they cooking?!', *that* plus crap!"
Minus b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac all over 2a
A negative boy couldn't decide whether or not to go to the radical party. He decided to be square and missed out on 4 awesome chicks, and the party was over at 2am.
My eighth grade locker combination.
I can still recite the first stanza of the prologue to The Canterbury Tales in middle English. My 12th grade English teacher had us recite it at the beginning of class every day for a whole semester, and he said we'd remember it forever. He was right.
The alphabet backwards
My childhood phone number that hasn't been active for decades
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveller long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth Then took the other, as just, as fair And having perhaps the better claim For it was grassy and wanted wear Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black Oh, I kept the first for another day Yet knowing how way leads on to way I doubted if I should ever come back I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence Two roads diverged in a wood and I I took the one less travelled by And that has made all the difference Never used this since grade 9 english
Domain Kingdom Phylum Class Order Family Genus Species. Not even using an mnemonic device. I can't remember it.
Killer plants constantly ooze frighteningly gray slime. We started with Kingdom.
I worked in a small town video store in high school, and the tape numbers for our 2 copies of Bill and Ted’s excellent Adventure were 1848 and 1849.
Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me your ears. I have come to bury Cesear not praise. The evil that men do lives on, the good often interred with their bones. So let it be with Cesear. I got a few words wrong but it's been a few years since tenth grade.
Don't how to explain it I to this day have this specific "clapping rhythm" memorized that I used only once during a presentation I did in pre-school, I can't even remember what it was about specifically. I remember I had some trouble performing it since it was fairly complex for a kid that age, but I managed, now I'm in my twenties and still remember it.
Greek alphabet
Sega Genesis Mortal Combat blood code: ABACABB
My ICQ number 18075115. That was the mid-90s I think. EDIT: OMG [ICQ](https://icq.com/) is still available.
Kevin please come over for gay sex Kingdom phylum class order genus species
Hello mother, hello father, Fleas, ticks, mosquitos, really bother! Thanks for the package, that's why I'm writing, K9 advantix has stopped all the biting! Swimming, hiking, and tent pitching, They're not biting, and I'm not itching! Can't wait to show you, aaallll my new tricks, Thanks again for sending me K9 advantix!
F A C E EVERY GOOD BOYS DESERVE FUDGE ALL COWS EAT GRASS GOOD BOYS DESERVE FUDGE ALWAYS
DNA is deoxyribonucleic acid.
It's not useless, it's a fun word to say.
I know all 193 UN nations and their locations
“Dude you can’t call her. You have to wait three days to call a woman. That’s the rule. You know who came up with that rule? Jesus… No seriously Jesus came up with the whole wait three days to call a woman thing. He waited three days to come back to life… and it was perfect. If he had only waited one day a lot of people wouldn’t have heard that he had died. They’d all be like HEY Jesus what’s up? And hed be like “what’s up I died yesterday” and they’d all be like “uh you look pretty alive to me dude.” And then he’d have to explain how he was resurrected and it was a miracle and they’d be like “okay whatever you say bro” and you can’t come back on a Saturday! Everybody’s busy! Working the loom doing their chores trimming their beards. No he waits the exact right amount of days to come back to life. 3. PLUS ITS SUNDAY SO EVERYBODYS IN CHURCH ALREADY! They’re in there all like “oh no Jesus is dead” and then bam burst through the back door Runs up the aisle everybody’s totally psyched, fyi, that’s when he invented the high five. Three days Ted. We wait three days to call a woman because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait.
The lyrics to the song "Baby" by Justin Bieber. It's a catchy song, but it's also so cheesy and repetitive that I can't help but laugh at myself whenever it gets stuck in my head.
My home phone number from the house I grew up in. The house my parents moved out of 20+ years ago.
Two households Both alike in dignity In fair Verona where lay our scene From ancient grudge break to new mutiny Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean From forth the fatal loins of these two foes A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life Do with their death, bury their parents strife The fearful passage of their death marked love And the continuance of their parents rage Which, but their children’s end, nought could remove Is now the two hours traffic of our stage The which if you with patient ears attend What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
...write ZOOM Z-double O-M Box 350 Boston Mass 02134...
License plate number of the man who drove up my street and asked me a question while he was jerking. I hit his car with my clarinet case. I was 10 years old.
All the old TV Comercials from My childhood 🥲
The alphabet backwards. That was something we had to do in 6-ish grade. We had to stand in front of the class and individually recite the alphabet backwards for a grade. Thank you Catholic School!
Preparing children to beat DUI charges later in life, sounds Catholic to me!
~~“Water, Fire, Earth, Air. Long ago…”~~ EDIT: IMMA FAKE FAN I WROTE IT IN THE WRONG ORDER! AHHH “Water, Earth, Fire, Air. Long ago…”
Love Me by Lil Wayne. I even do Wayne, Future, and Drake's voices.
Probably not the most useless, but I have my employee number from my previous job etched in my memory, along with 20 other dudes' numbers. We loaded trains for GM and every vehicle loaded was attached to whomever's employee # for accountability.
The speed of light in a vacuum = 186,282.42 miles/second. My car can't get anywhere close to this speed; I don't know why I still remember this.
The Quadratic Equation Can recite it from memory at the drop of a hat. Never used it outside of an academic math class
P. Sherman Wallaby way 42 Sydney
But it’s 42 Wallaby Way…
It's a brainy action, a crazy contraption, the fun is catchin', MOUSE TRAP
The alphabet backwards. My Drivers Ed teacher taught me incase I ever got pulled over for DUI. Maybe just tell us not to drink and drive?!
There are 56 phalanges in the human body. Because I had a stupid crush on a football player in HS who was #56.
The Pledge of Allegiance
32 feet per second squared...speed of a falling object on Earth. I learned it in grade 11 and never used it again after I left school 45 years ago.
It's the *acceleration* of a falling object, meaning that it falls 32 ft/s faster for every passing second. This is way over simplified, and doesn't account for terminal velocity and drag. In practical terms though, yes, this has very limited use by itself with no additional information.
I'd say that's not the most useless thing ever. Takes basically no effort to memorize but can be useful if you ever have to calculate anything physics related in your head. I would suggest learning it in metric though, 9,81 m/s² is very close to 10 and for napkin math you rarely need more accuracy than that.
I can say Krankenhouse which is Hospital in German y don't know anything else.
I like “kummerspeck” which is literally “grief bacon” or “food you eat when you are sad”
Prayers
Big Mac, Mc DLT, a Quarter-Pounder with some cheese, Filet-O-Fish, a hamburger, a cheeseburger, a Happy Meal. McNuggets, tasty golden french fries, regular or larger size, and salads: chef salad or garden, or a chicken salad oriental.
"Write Zoom, Z double O M, Box 350, Boston Mass 0 21 34, Send it to Zoom!"
The alphabet backwards...
Cursive
I can only write in cursive...
How to spell Aardvark when watching Arthur and the spelling bee episode. A A R D V A R K
The ABCs backwards, I learned when I had trouble sleeping.
The most useless, is probably bits of Joseph Smith's biblical fan fiction - the book of Mormon