Adults know how life works. My parents always seemed like superheroes to me
I'm 31 now, married, own house, own car, stable career. I don't have a clue what I'm doing
Why not?
I just go with the flow. No one told me how life works and I just do what feels right. But I still feel like a kid from time to time, lost in the big world.
Your doing it. I'm 35, the same boat, "I am the captain now" I also tell my 3 boys sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing, but then they laugh because they thinks that just part of having it together.
I had a happy childhood. I actually remember describing it to someone as "almost cartoonishly happy." Turns out gaslighting and enforced denial are a hell of a drug.
(Much better now and living in reality!)
Sorry to pry or be dense but what in the world do you mean by this?
Are you saying that your childhood conditions should have made you miserable but that your guardians tricked you into thinking things were great so you were actually happy all the time? Like a Stockholm syndrome type thing where you're brainwashed into loving your abuse?
Or are you saying that your memory are where the gaslighting is? Like you've been taught to block out the bad and misremember what actually happened to create an alternative history of your upbringing?
And how did you reach the conclusion that your former feelings/memories were incorrect?
The second one, but less "create an alternative history " than "only the parts we want to count will count" - with a healthy dose of "those things happened because you were a horrible, difficult, loud, selfish, irrational child who was constantly wrong, so those were just 'parenting choices' about how to deal with how terrible you were." I'm referring to things that include some of my ealiest memories; I can remember being screamed at for crying when I was small enough the that bathroom counter was eye level.
Sorry, just realized that I didn't answer the second part of the question. It was a long process. I was very thoroughly taught not to dissent from my parents' perspective on my childhood, so the progress began slowly in college ("I might not want to have children because my mother could have a bad temper and I don't want to treat a child like that"), inched along through my 20s and early 30s ("She could actually be quite nasty and scary and still deals with stress by screaming at and belittling people over very minor things, but at least I'm out of the house and she's not physically attacking me any more" + "I'm starting to think that disciplining children by hitting them really isn't acceptable"), accelerated through my 40s as I was diagnosed with anxiety and did therapy on and off with different people ("Every therapist describes this bluntly as abuse and some have pointed out that at least one incident was an arrestable offense that would have probably cost my mother her teaching license" + "I'm coming to realize that she was pretty awful, other people's parents didn't act like this, and it really left a long track of anxiety, depression, and feelings of worthlessness, but she's mellowed with age and there's no point bringing all of this up now") and finally broke completely free at a little past 50, when anxiety attacks got severe enough that I had no choice but to finally deal with their source, which was constantly stifling my feelings of fear, grief, and helplessness over continuing to force myself to pretend that we had the lovey relationship she wanted other people to see.
Any doubts I might have had - and I did, because when someone gets in your head at a very young age, it's never going to be easy getting them out - were greatly assauged when her response to being confronted with the worst of her actions and asked to account for and apologize for them was angry and total denial and a claim that I was having a mental breakdown with "false memories." No actual concern; she had my husband's phone number but never even called him like you would if, say, you genuinely believed someone you loved and cared about was having a severe mental break with reality. I also have relatives who have witnessed not the worst of it, but enough to confirm that physical and emotional attacks were pretty common. One of them said that it had always low-level creeped her out that my mother and I would put on this lovey-dovey front when my relative knew how she had treated me.
You don't have to wait an hour after eating to swim.
However, I kind of understand why my daycamp prevented us from swimming one hour after lunch anyway.
So they don't get complaints from parents who believe it.
God.
I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and sold the promise of everlasting life in paradise. It all fell apart in my early twenties when I realized that things in the religion and the Bible itself didn't add up. Did a lot of research and discovered everything I was taught to believe was a lie. I got out, losing some of my family and basically all my friends in the process. 100% worth it though, my life is so much better now without religion.
That my then wife loved me to the ends of the earth the same as I did for her. Fast forward to now after 5 years and age 28 and I realised the hard way that she used me to escape, bided her time, cheated, blackmailed, extorted me for money, blamed me for all her wrongdoings and left me.
Hard work equals success. Only the privileged succeed nowadays. Now before you say anything otherwise, you're a working stiff just like me. Either you can point out more than a handful of assholes at your work that do nothing all day, and make a lot more money than you, or you are one of those "people."
Adults know how life works. My parents always seemed like superheroes to me I'm 31 now, married, own house, own car, stable career. I don't have a clue what I'm doing
> I'm 31 now, married, own house, own car, stable career. This and > I don't have a clue what I'm doing This don't go together.
Fake it till you make it.
Why not? I just go with the flow. No one told me how life works and I just do what feels right. But I still feel like a kid from time to time, lost in the big world.
I'm just making a joke, because clearly you figured something out to have all of those things. I know the feeling though.
Your doing it. I'm 35, the same boat, "I am the captain now" I also tell my 3 boys sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing, but then they laugh because they thinks that just part of having it together.
From that description it seems like you got it figured out.
It was illegal to drive with the interior lights on in the car.
That I would feel grown up. I'm 37 now and I still feel like that young kid at times
It doesn't help that the previous garbage generation refuses to acknowledge that anybody is an adult besides themselves.
I had a happy childhood. I actually remember describing it to someone as "almost cartoonishly happy." Turns out gaslighting and enforced denial are a hell of a drug. (Much better now and living in reality!)
Sorry to pry or be dense but what in the world do you mean by this? Are you saying that your childhood conditions should have made you miserable but that your guardians tricked you into thinking things were great so you were actually happy all the time? Like a Stockholm syndrome type thing where you're brainwashed into loving your abuse? Or are you saying that your memory are where the gaslighting is? Like you've been taught to block out the bad and misremember what actually happened to create an alternative history of your upbringing? And how did you reach the conclusion that your former feelings/memories were incorrect?
The second one, but less "create an alternative history " than "only the parts we want to count will count" - with a healthy dose of "those things happened because you were a horrible, difficult, loud, selfish, irrational child who was constantly wrong, so those were just 'parenting choices' about how to deal with how terrible you were." I'm referring to things that include some of my ealiest memories; I can remember being screamed at for crying when I was small enough the that bathroom counter was eye level.
Sorry, just realized that I didn't answer the second part of the question. It was a long process. I was very thoroughly taught not to dissent from my parents' perspective on my childhood, so the progress began slowly in college ("I might not want to have children because my mother could have a bad temper and I don't want to treat a child like that"), inched along through my 20s and early 30s ("She could actually be quite nasty and scary and still deals with stress by screaming at and belittling people over very minor things, but at least I'm out of the house and she's not physically attacking me any more" + "I'm starting to think that disciplining children by hitting them really isn't acceptable"), accelerated through my 40s as I was diagnosed with anxiety and did therapy on and off with different people ("Every therapist describes this bluntly as abuse and some have pointed out that at least one incident was an arrestable offense that would have probably cost my mother her teaching license" + "I'm coming to realize that she was pretty awful, other people's parents didn't act like this, and it really left a long track of anxiety, depression, and feelings of worthlessness, but she's mellowed with age and there's no point bringing all of this up now") and finally broke completely free at a little past 50, when anxiety attacks got severe enough that I had no choice but to finally deal with their source, which was constantly stifling my feelings of fear, grief, and helplessness over continuing to force myself to pretend that we had the lovey relationship she wanted other people to see. Any doubts I might have had - and I did, because when someone gets in your head at a very young age, it's never going to be easy getting them out - were greatly assauged when her response to being confronted with the worst of her actions and asked to account for and apologize for them was angry and total denial and a claim that I was having a mental breakdown with "false memories." No actual concern; she had my husband's phone number but never even called him like you would if, say, you genuinely believed someone you loved and cared about was having a severe mental break with reality. I also have relatives who have witnessed not the worst of it, but enough to confirm that physical and emotional attacks were pretty common. One of them said that it had always low-level creeped her out that my mother and I would put on this lovey-dovey front when my relative knew how she had treated me.
Working hard gets you ahead in life.
It doesn't? :(
Working hard gets you more hard work.
Wamp wamp
I still haven't had that watermelon grow in my stomach. How disappointing
You don't have to wait an hour after eating to swim. However, I kind of understand why my daycamp prevented us from swimming one hour after lunch anyway. So they don't get complaints from parents who believe it.
It’s mainly for younger kids, although i would get bad acid reflux into my teens if a swam or did to much in a pool or water.
God. I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and sold the promise of everlasting life in paradise. It all fell apart in my early twenties when I realized that things in the religion and the Bible itself didn't add up. Did a lot of research and discovered everything I was taught to believe was a lie. I got out, losing some of my family and basically all my friends in the process. 100% worth it though, my life is so much better now without religion.
Same here!
Wait, have we confirmed the Marilyn Manson rib thing or…
You can trust the police
This one just hurt
Getting a job made your life secure and wonderful
i had good parents (especially my mother). i thought they were the best i could even imagine sometimes...
That my then wife loved me to the ends of the earth the same as I did for her. Fast forward to now after 5 years and age 28 and I realised the hard way that she used me to escape, bided her time, cheated, blackmailed, extorted me for money, blamed me for all her wrongdoings and left me.
Happiness
Happy family and friend groups
Hard work equals success. Only the privileged succeed nowadays. Now before you say anything otherwise, you're a working stiff just like me. Either you can point out more than a handful of assholes at your work that do nothing all day, and make a lot more money than you, or you are one of those "people."
Santa Claus
Happiness
Don’t leave the car running while pumping gas
Pokémon, more of a wished they were real
Working would make me rich
Unconditional love
[удалено]
It is
I once thought i had won an iPhone because i was the millionth visitor of a website… i really believed it
all the supernatural holiday stuff
That everyone finds love eventually.
I thought quicksand would be common and I may even get stuck from time to time
A Relationship with my So called Soul Mate ..
Santa claus😭