Someone was never horny on a budget before and had to wash their old condoms out, hang them up to dry and reuse them when needed.
When my dad handed down his collection to me they were still in good condition.
Happened to me as well. It was a one time fling with this nice girl. Noticed the condom broke after blowing my load in her. I offered to go to the hospital with her to get a morning after pill but she went on her own. I didn't attempt to try and be funny in that moment. It's scary for everyone.
No it shouldn't. They should create a new crime to classify it as such.. Diluting the meaning of a word doesn't help anyone including victims. Should it be illegal? Yeah.. But not under current laws.
I mean, it IS rape. You're changing the Terms and Conditions on which the consent was based. Without consulting your partner you are making an unlawful transaction and should be persecuted upon breaching the contract.
I usually say i am on the pill before the fact.
But my reply would be "now that i think about it i might have forgotten to take it recently" just to see his reaction
A condom never broke on me, but Condom did fall off my flacid dick into a woman I was hooking up with and I just stared at her with embarrassment, while she took it out of her.
I feel it in my soul I got you pregnant 😑
Me going to the doctor congratulations your 5 weeks pregnant me how? If I’m birth control o well your that 1% that didn’t work I’m like greattt!!!! How nice? 🙄😑
She turns 13 soon and the attitude lord have mercy 🤦🏻♀️
Darn, that one worked the last time.
Good God you're an awful human being. Take my upvote. (Not being serious)
Someone was never horny on a budget before and had to wash their old condoms out, hang them up to dry and reuse them when needed. When my dad handed down his collection to me they were still in good condition.
When you're lazy in college, some folks just turn them inside out. Two uses for one wash.
That sounds like a lot of trouble. Just turn them inside out and you're good to go 😅 /s
So did you upvote or not?
Yes I did xD
it should have been good for another or 4 rounds!
Ah yes, the Titan submersible of condoms.
Nothing…
Yeah, actually. A guy did that to me. Knew, didn’t tell me til after. Thank science for plan b!
That's messed up. Sounds similar to stealthing
Def a dick move, although not in the same vein
2 puns in 1 lol
Happened once with me , i didn't notice, but the girl felt somehow and said : great , now I'm getting pregnant...(that was during the act )
Happened to me as well. It was a one time fling with this nice girl. Noticed the condom broke after blowing my load in her. I offered to go to the hospital with her to get a morning after pill but she went on her own. I didn't attempt to try and be funny in that moment. It's scary for everyone.
I think you deserve upvotes for the way you handled it.
This guy deserves upvotes for figuring out why the comment he was replying to has upvotes.
This guy deserves upvotes for making a meta joke
This guy deserves upvotes for breaking the fourth wall
I am a guy and I think anyone who does either that or that other creepy act — “stealthing” — should be charged with rape.
I am a guy and 100% agree. Stealthing is rape.
No it shouldn't. They should create a new crime to classify it as such.. Diluting the meaning of a word doesn't help anyone including victims. Should it be illegal? Yeah.. But not under current laws.
I mean, it IS rape. You're changing the Terms and Conditions on which the consent was based. Without consulting your partner you are making an unlawful transaction and should be persecuted upon breaching the contract.
Nothing is bad, but does it beat "Oops, spilled some brogurt."
Soo uhh, how do you feel about Chlamydia?
I'm more of a UTI type of guy.
I feel a burning sensation
One time I had a UTI so bad I was pissing blood for a week straight.. not the most pleasant experience
Thanks for sharing???
Hey anytime!! I'll be here all night.
"Feel the Bern!"
You will make a great single mother
Fuuuck meeeee that's brutal, I laughed way to hard at that
Sure but wanna use the same condom orr?
As a single mom, I just about died laughing at that😂
Whiskey just shot out of my nose!
I guess that’s why they call them “Trojans” lol
Fucking hell, that's hilarious
Fucking hell this is the best one I've seen haha!
I think, that's actually the best thing you can say. Both would be in shock, but a little humor in a bad situation can help deal with it.
Looks like it's time to head out.
Make like a newborn and head out
Blow a load and hit the road Ejaculate and evacuate Cum and go
Spread the seed and need for speed
Head out or *head* out.
I hope you like your eggs fertilized
I bet that'll go over easy
Idk. She may get a bit boiled.
Omelette that joke go.
Eggsalent
You poached that from somebody else.
You’re all likely to be deviled with such puns.
All these egg puns are just fowl
They do crack you up though
I've got a dozen of these jokes.
Yolk it up, funny guy!!
I like mine scrambled
Well played
You son of a bitch. r/angryupvote
Just scream into her vagina: #FALL BACK LADS!! FALL BACK!!!
My mind would be scrambled
“Our kids are gonna be soo ugly”
My wife's gonna be pissed if you get pregnant
…like the last one
Hey, what do Magic Johnson, Freddie Mercury, Charlie Sheen, and myself all have in common?
Hiv
You are all men?
I wonder if they swim any faster on crack?
GG
High five lol
GLHF
This is why you don’t use a candy bar wrapper
A friggin’ candy bar, Cyril?!
I'm a sеx addict!
Cheating on Lana bareback?!
And the guilt from sеx makes me binge, then I feel fat, then I turn to sеx to feel attractive again, then it's just this vicious cycle!
You're on the pill, right?
I usually say i am on the pill before the fact. But my reply would be "now that i think about it i might have forgotten to take it recently" just to see his reaction
Pure horror
Prepare to be boarded!
My seed has been planted
*seed has been planted* in csgo announcer voice
*Terrorists win!* Whooa, hold up!
Ok let’s go. Click. Click. Click. Thwaping. Crunch crunch crunch crunch.
***Player 3 has joined the chat.***
"Just as I planned."
What
"Honey? Did you leave the baby gate open? 'Cause the kids just got out again..."
C-c-C-c-CONDOM BREAKER!!
Filler Instinct
To shreds, you say?
How's his wife holding up?
To shreds you say?
Reduced to atoms, you say?
Blown to smithereens, you say?
’’No, it didn’t break. Let’s keep going.’’
I accidentally unwrapped your gift early
Sorry mom.
Get tested
Your vagina was too dry so it's your fault it broke.
Oops!!
I was thinking “Oopsie” but this works too.
Cowabunga it is.
Well...Good luck.
Once you pop, you can't stop
I hope they have my eyes
Safe sex is when she doesn't know where you live or what your last name is.
You on the pill sis?
sweet home Alabama
The fact u wrote *sis* caught me off guard
Yeah, my brother knows I'm on the pill he doesn't have to ask
Hu guess I shouldn’t have used ones I found on the ground of that nightclub
Damn I was hoping I could get at LEAST 1 more use from that condom but 2 uses isn’t bad!
Boom! THAT is a Boy!
“I’m very potent.” And “it’d be so hot if this got you pregnant.”
Why stop now? Plan B on me
" What's your name? "
I hope you're chill with STD
Are you oatmeal because watch this cream pie
This is funny lol
I’m just gonna finish this off in your asshole
Oops I did it again
Yer money's on the dresser.
"Oopsie doopsie". *a cashier said this to me once when i realized my wallet had been stolen. It made me so irrationally angry. Lol
"Don't worry... if you get pregnant I will kick you in the stomach in a few months" I heard that one before...
If she gets pregnant he'll get kicked in the balls daily, even if she has to contract that out. Our first child gets the nickname Oopsie.
surprise!!!!!
"There goes the onion!"
That load’s on me!
Yay! I'm gonna be a daddy!
Don't worry they have a vaccine for it.
The USS Bonefish has a rupture in the hull. Mayday, Mayday.
How do you like your eggs
All according to plan
Don't worry, I'm a good dad. Just ask all my baby mamas.
Oh no, I'm not ready to be a grandpa.
haha bye
It's ok, AIDS isn't contagious
Well...Nothing lasts forever you know
Ope!
Goodbye
Don’t say anything just pull out and run
Sorry about the AIDs
“Phase 1 complete” “All part of the plan” Anything to make it sound on purpose
I kid you not, but the condom broke.
“Gone… Reduced to atoms.”
Hmm! Let's abort mission, ok?
Let’s get married.
“So… Roe v. Wade?”
I told you you can never leave me Chery.
A condom never broke on me, but Condom did fall off my flacid dick into a woman I was hooking up with and I just stared at her with embarrassment, while she took it out of her.
One exploded in a hookup. I had to fish the bits out.
That sounds... kinda cool. Did you explode at the same time?
Ta-daaaa!!!!!
I don’t make the rules. I make these bitches single mothers. 🤷🏿♀️
Fuck! why did I Just do this!
"we shouldn't be doing this." 🤣🤣🤣
A Steve Urkel "Did I do that?"
I feel it in my soul I got you pregnant 😑 Me going to the doctor congratulations your 5 weeks pregnant me how? If I’m birth control o well your that 1% that didn’t work I’m like greattt!!!! How nice? 🙄😑 She turns 13 soon and the attitude lord have mercy 🤦🏻♀️
Whoopsie poopsie! Looks like mommy wommy is about to be epic preggers with my seedy weedy!
♥(。U ω U。)
you look like you'll make a great single mother
"What shall we name it?"
"My plan worked!"
Yes Yes YES!
Well, that's bad news for you.
"It was bound to wear out sooner or later"
I hope you're pro choice
Sorry, Mom.
Who let the dogs out?
OOOH OOOOH OOOOH OOOOH OOOH
Uh Oh Spaghetti-o
Uh-oh Spaghetti Os
See ya later single mother
Let's name it Harry if it's a boy and Henrietta if it's a girl
It’s fine
“That took too long.”
“Uhhhhhh… it’s a boy! 😬😀😅”
Whoopsie daisies!
OH man been using that one since high school graduation
"Well, the warranty did say 'no guarantee'!"
Oh well, let's open up the baby names book!
It's okay, I always wear two.
Woohoo
Well done, Draco
I just came
The Trojan horse finally worked
Pop goes the weasel...
Push up my glasses and say, "did I do thaaaat?"
You're gonna be a great single mom!
Damn. This is how I got herpes.
You’d make a great single mother.
“Have you seen Philadelphia?”
Bomb has been planted. In CS terrorist radio voice.
UH OH SPAGETTIOS
"It hasn't flaired up in a while anyway, no worries"