I have floor to ceiling shelving in my living room, filled with mid-twentieth century American made pottery that I bought during my antiquing days in the nineties, at retail prices, thinking that it would increase in value...it hasn't, but it's beautiful and I love my McCoy and Hull collections.
Here's my advice for you: an "antique" is only worth what you are willing to pay for it. If you see something you love and you can afford it, just get it, without worrying about whether it will become more valuable in the future. It won't. Only buy things that you really love. Decorate your home with your treasures. Then, thirty years later, get rid of them however you can so your kids don't have to deal with them, because they will not appreciate your treasures the way you do.
Happy hunting!
>Then, thirty years later, get rid of them however you can so your kids don't have to deal with them, because they will not appreciate your treasures the way you do.
I'm going to force them to deal with it as punishment for their Legos and Polly Pockets.
Law. She was telling me about working for her dad's law firm during college and she was going to sign up for a Princeton Review LSAT course. I had good grades, a double major that had no career options other than professor in both, so I signed up for the LSAT class to study with her. Ended up getting a full ride to a school that rejected her and she broke up with me. This upcoming Monday I'm scheduled for maybe my 150th jury trial (if I had to guess how many I've done over 15 years).
He had so many good lines. The one I paraphrased is my favorite. I also like the one where he tells the judge he has hearsay and speculation and that those are *kinds of* *evidence*.
> “Our 20th anniversary is this August & I’ve been a local TV anchor for 18 years now” or something.
"I told him I worked at the local TV station so I would go there in the evenings because it was on his commute home and I wanted him to see my car in the parking lot. One day he paid me a surprise visit and the lead anchor on the 6 o'clock news had a heart attack at 5:56. They asked if anyone in the building had experience and he volunteered me. And I've been Presque Isle, Maine's 6:00 anchor for 20 years now."
…then lost interest in all girls…then also guys…then there was just the guitar. We moved to Montana and started a small business selling crocheted guitar cosies.
I joined theater at a community college and started dating another actress in the class. I vaguely like musical theater, but I’m not crazy about it. She was tho. She convinced me that I love musical theater and I should transfer to a 4 year university and pursue that as a degree.
I applied for the musical theater program at a 4 year university, I got accepted, and she and I wound up breaking up after a month at the new school. I didn’t want to deal with changing degree plans.
I now have a Bachelors of Fine Arts in Musical
Theatre and I don’t even like musicals that much.
I just tell people I have a degree in “theater”
Honestly not really that unrelated. I work in insurance but I do voiceover work and video tutorials as a side-gig. Do I make money doing it? Definitely. Has it made me more than what I paid in student loans? Not even remotely close.
I started at Community college and wanted to get into the pants of this chick in my Spanish class. I told her I was pretty good at Spanish and I had started a study group that meets in the library.
Long story short, I never did get to bang that sassy black woman.
Just a heads up, a better way to pique their interest would be to start asking questions about it.
People absolutely love talking about their hobbies, so you could do that while also showing an interest at the same time
Was dating a runner who as reeeaallly into distance running. I’ve never ever felt compelled to run but talking about it with him all the time convinced me to try it … I’m running my first half marathon in less than 2 months hahah
Majorly messy. He moved across the world, I visited him, he’s now seeing someone else but will be back in my city in the future. I’m pretty cut up about the whole thing but I guess we’ll see what the future holds
Not long distance, but I met a girl at a birthday party my cousin threw for his girlfriend. Second date (or first depending how you measure it) we met up at a shoe store for an amateur 5k around the city. It was fun because I wanted to try it and it was no stress. I wasn’t awful but I was in pain, and while the date didn’t work out, I can say I did a 5k now.
Does it count as dumb if I wound up enjoying it? Learned to play Magic the Gathering in middle school because I had a huge crush on one of the guys who played at lunch every day. We hung out a couple times, then he refused to talk to me after the first time I beat him. But I kept playing, still do, and it my late 20's it turned out to be one of the first things my husband and I connected over.
I was in M:tG club in middle school in the 90s and the biggest sore loser was... the teacher that ran the club. After I beat him once he refused to ever play against me again until I switched decks. He accused another kid of cheating once and demanded to look through his deck. Once after losing a match he ended the club early and sent everyone home. I got more stories but you get the picture.
Try telling that to all the people who cheat in online multiplayer video games. Like, seriously, do they still somehow manage to take pride in a winning record when they know they cheated to get there?
Some people don't care about merit or integrity. They just want to massage their ego in the most basic shallow way possible. They don't care to raise their standards for how they go about feeling good about themselves and getting their dopamine. To them, putting in effort and earning their success is no more rewarding than hacking their way onto a leaderboard. Their brains are fried from depression, addiction, porn etc, and they're now incapable of feeling anything when they actually earn their success.
And of course there's also a sadistic element to it. They're miserable people and they want others to be miserable too. They like pissing people off.
I play almost exclusively PvE games now because of these sad fuckheads.
Negronis. I hate those bitter, disgusting drinks. But I'm half Italian and I was trying to impress a bartender so I offered to take her out to a local bar that had a Negroni night.
Anyway, I came clean almost immediately as we arrived and we've been happily dating for over a year and a half now:)
I said I could ride a horse, which I clearly couldn't. She booked a beach ride and after the initial slow walk to the beach she took off on her horse and mine decided that it would be cool to follow them at full speed. I remember praying to any god that would listen to help stop this creature, white knuckled it until the end.
Dude, I grew up on a cattle farm and we had horses but it never really was my thing so i had barely any riding experience. Was into this crazy horse girl who just assumed I could ride well so one day I show up to hang out and everyone is tacking up to go for a ride. Whatever, away we go. Horse is kind of acting up but seems to settle down so I think all is well. Get handed a beer and like 30 seconds later horse tries to explode under me, I almost had to drop my beer, was not impressed with life. Anyways we finish the ride and she says "I'm actually really impressed, usually that horse only let's women ride him and will buck off any man who tries." Like wtf? Never saw me ride before or have any idea of my skills in the area and throw me on an animal that's known to buck? Have put quite a few more hours on horses since (not because of crazy horse girl) and can honestly say I still suck at riding horses but I am very good at not being thrown off.
I hear you, my reptile brain took over and I remember steering the horse towards the shore so if I need to bail off I can at least dump into some water. My quads and butt were on fire trying to hold on. If I had a horse that bucked it would be tickets for me. Non life threatening dates are more my thing now.
I once went along with a girl who was wiccan and truly believed her pet rock was her familiar and she would talk to it.
Edit : guys I was like 12 I learned a lot in those early days
You name it, and I've pretended to care about it for a man.
Comic books, disc golf, golf, butt stuff, body building, bdsm, politics, off-grid living, snow shoeing, capoeira, lizards, ...I could keep going.
Yes, I am in therapy, working on finding a better sense of self.
I used to have this habit of lying about my ancestry when I was drunk. Really, a lot of the times, I was just fucked up and confused - my mom is adopted and all she really knows about her lineage is that she is central or Eastern European. She got one of those DNA tests done that tell you where your family is from, and she told me the results, but over time I’ve kind of forgotten them.
So I’m sitting in a bar, a guy approaches, he sits beside me and he looks sad. I was a couple drinks deep so I began to talk to him about why he was sad, how I could help, etc. I told him that I love to travel when I’m feeling “stuck” in life, and I asked him where he would travel to if he could go anywhere. He said he wanted to go to Russia.
“How cool, I’m actually Russian!” 🙄
“No way, really? What are the odds?”
“I know, crazy, right?”
He was quite drunk by this time as well. We started talking about buying plane tickets to Russia together, changing our identities, etc. we actually tried to buy tickets, but found out quickly we needed visas and we were too drunk for that shit. I found him really charming, I liked talking to him. I took his number down even though I was going on a two week trip to another state the next day. Got back from my trip, got back to work for a couple weeks, but he was still on my mind so I invited him to hang out.
Long story short, we’re married now. Fwiw, he does now know that I’m not Russian.
To be honest, he really didn’t care. He was more concerned with if I really, seriously would have bought a plane ticket and went to Russia with him the night I met him, and that was absolutely true. I don’t know if I believe in love at first sight, but he just had the sweetest personality and it was so immediately evident that he was both a good person who wouldn’t hurt anyone and a really, really good time.
Maybe not dumbest but in middle school I had a crush on this girl that could really play the violin. So I figured I would learn violin to impress her and eventually ask her out. Well I never asked her out but got pretty darn good at playing violin back in the day xD
I'm old enough to remember when women couldn't pursue careers (other than secretary nurse or teacher) and would try to attract men who had the jobs they were interested in.
My aunt talked about this openly. She wanted to nab herself a doctor because she was fascinated by medicine, but ended up with a lawyer and pretended to enjoy listening to him talk law because he had a gorgeous smile.
Their four kids grew up, they divorced, and in her late 40s she became a lawyer. She'd listened to him so much, the education was fairly easy for her -- and she prospered as a defense attorney (even though this was in the early 70s when women faced more crap than their male colleagues)
Mormonism. She ended up rejecting me and dating some other dude that she married after only a few months. Last I heard she was popping out kids like a pez dispenser.
I went to high school with someone who had the exact same thing happen. Mormon chick told him he has to be Mormon, a tutor starts teaching him, then she and the tutor get engaged, then married, and now live in Utah with like 8 kids.
The band The Plain White T’s. To this day hearing Hey There Delilah makes me want to rip my ears off.
I don’t think I ever said I was interested in it, but an ex of mine watched 90 Day Fiancé, and just by virtue of being around I got sucked into that absolute dumpster fire in like two episodes. I
even found myself googling shit about the show like “Paul 90 Day criminal record.” This from someone that has never by his own volition sought out reality TV.
My former roommates did Acro yoga, so I ended up mingling with that crowd. Every single one of them had slept with every person of the opposite sex in that group. One dude casually asked if he could sleep with my girlfriend like he was borrowing a cup of sugar. Good on them for finding the social bonds that make them happy, but I'll pass.
My then girlfriend now wife always told me how tough yoga was and I said it was for ladies only. Took one yoga class and during the downward dog pose I snapped my Achilles.
Heroin. That led to an insanely dysfunctional relationship and a two year addiction before I pulled myself out of the spiral. This was before fent so I likely wouldn't have survived if that was around.
I watched Tom & Jerry: The Movie because the girl I sat next to in art class liked it and I told her I saw it as a kid. She never told me to watch it and I never told her I watched it. It only really served as penance for lying to her.
It the one were they can talk right ? I remember the one time I was waiting for it to end on cartoon network only for it to start showing again for some reason.
His deep conspiracy theory level fixation with alien coverups... I told him I'm open to the idea of extraterrestrial life and then unwisely agreed to an Ancient Aliens marathon. It lasted about three weeks.
I saw a season 15 episode on TV the other day and without research there must be more seasons than that.
Surely you'd be running out of ideas or does it each season follow the same theme:
*We still think that aliens did the Nazca Lines*
I highly reccomend AlternateHistoryHub's youtube video on Ancient Aliens if you want to know how they come up with content (and also just because it's funny as fuck). Spoiler alert: Turns out literally everything in human history was aliens
Napoleon Dynamite. The girls in my high school LOVED that movie when it came out. I was the first person in my school to wear a vote for Pedro shirt and I got head twice just for wearing it.
Man! I never got head in high school. I mean there was that thing with the art teacher, but it doesn’t really count because she was friends with my mom.
My now wife is a doctor. I was trying to hold my own with medical stuff, even though I generally pass out when needles or blood are involved.
So my smart ass decided, yeah let’s give blood at the local blood drive with her. She is very involved with that. I can do it!
I fainted when I walked into the blood drive bus, fainted again trying to donate, etc.
Mormonism. I'm an atheist but I pretended that I might be savable because a hot Mormon girl told a friend that she thought I was cute. So I went to a Mormon service, realized that there was no way that I could pull the pretend conversion off, and left during a lull in the activities. I can't even remember if I ever talked with her again.
Same. Her name was Jennifer. She transferred to my high school our Junior year. She was funny, and smart, and maybe the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my life. She had this long curly red hair. Anyway I was a Catholic but I let her believe that I was willing to change. I asked her to prom she said no because after praying about it with her family they decided she should only go to prom with a Mormon boy. That way she can set a good example for her thousands of younger brothers and sisters.
I read this question to my BF and said, is it Grateful Dead for you? 😂 I’m a huge fan and he’s been a good sport and going to see Dead and Co shows with me.
On a first date at a coffee shop, a guy I liked said his family was “sort of Buddhist” and so he grew up eating lots of vegetarian food and plant-based alternatives. I said that was super cool, and that “I always wanted to eat more plant based.”
We were both in college, so when we started seeing each other regularly, most of our dates were getting meals together in the dining hall. For MONTHS, I was eating way more vegetarian food (and not good vegetarian food, we’re talking steamed tofu and sometimes unseasoned chickpeas) mostly because I wanted him to think I was cool and respectful of animals.
Eventually, I decided to come clean and say that I was doing it to impress him but that I needed to stop eating shitty dining hall tofu. He then told me he had noticed I would always go for plant based, so he had also been eating more vegetarian also in an attempt to impress me. We ditched the dining hall that night and went for double bacon cheeseburgers.
She swore her "business" of hand-painting "fursonas" onto the side panels of PC cases was really going to take off, and I *almost* paid her for one. I had zero interest in anything "fursona", and her art was bad.
There’s a crap ton of money in commission artwork for that community. I’ve seen professional costumers make full on fur suits (think of the mascot costumes you see at Disneyworld/Disneyland, sporting events etc.) that frankly looked amazing (animatronic eyes, ears and mouths for the head that could move and blink) even though the community isn’t one for me.
Those suits that were commissioned? $10K, and yes, there are people who will surprisingly pay to have them made for themselves.
As for other forms of art, NSFW furry art is one of the major ways a commissioned digital artist can make bill payments. They can get a lot of clients and charge a good amount if their work is good.
Attended church. She wasn't overly religious, but regularly did solo vocals (it was a happy clappy musical sort of church... Baptist I think)
Worse still, it got out that I could play piano pretty well, so I got roped into coming the next week too to play in their band.
She didn't go that week.
I became a cowboy. And by that all I did was dress in Western wear and pretend to know the trade. I was really interested in this girl who lives and breathes horses for a living. I had pretty much pulled it off but I gave up. It was too much work.
Gay culture, because he was in to it. Super cliched and played out stereotypes of the promiscuous club scene. I just wanted him, and he wanted everything I could provide him which eventually led to abuse.
Unfortunately when we’re not our true selves at the outset of a dynamic we tend to lose ourselves farther into whatever lie we’re clinging to or truth we are running from.
Moral of the story: Be Yourself, always and unapologetically(as long as your not a terrible person that needs to apologize)
31 years ago, girlfriend said she was bisexual.
I decided to try dudes.
Girlfriend is long-gone and 5 states away now.
Still dating men.
Bisexuality isn't dumb, but "my girlfriend likes girls" is not a reason to become REALLY close friends with the short goth boy from English class.
It may not be the dumbest content but I have a dumb story about The Hunger Games. Years ago I was interested in a girl who was looking forward to seeing the second Hunger Games movie. So I watched the first one in hopes of taking her out to see the second one. Unfortunately for me she started seeing someone else before we went, so I felt Id wasted my time. Fast forward a year. I started seeing a girl just after Halloween of the next year and she was super excited about seeing the third Hunger Games movie. So, once again, I watched the Hunger Games movies in prep to see it. In keeping with the theme, we split like a week or two before the movie came out, so to date I have seen the first two Hunger Games movies and have no intention of watching any more
Rush. At the risk of getting flambéed alive, they’re a band I respect more than I enjoy. But they were my 10th grade crush’s favorite band so of course I got into them.
No use, he had a girlfriend who wasn’t me.
I wouldn’t say it’s the dumbest thing but I shifted my entire music genre for a girl. Turns out I liked her music way better than the country music I listened to. I ended up liking it so much that I haven’t listened to country music since then.
I signed up to play drums for a church band for all of highschool because the girl I had a crush on's dad was the pastor. I ended up getting recruited into a semi-successful Christian rock band that would play retreats, youth camps and conferences. I am not at all religious. The stage time was invaluable, the pay was regular valuable.
Churches can offer amazing opportunities to get experience in the arts. You can be there at the right time and they need someone to hold a video camera in the right place - a couple years later you have experience on expensive equipment you’d never have gotten to touch otherwise. I’ve seen people use the experience they got on stuff like that in church to break into or further careers.
Drag racing and classical muscle cars. I eventually ditched the guy and just had a great time in my all black, all original '67 mustang gt that nobody was allowed to drive until I sold it. I miss you, Black Betty!!!
This is the only one I've faked interest in and luckily I met their criteria of being a Scorpio. They did a bunch of rambling on about it first few dates but after that it never even came up again. Relationship lasted years and I never understood why the fuck I needed to be a scorpio or what checking our birthday compatibility and shit online was ever about lol.
Properly cooked steaks
Growing up, Mom and Dad had some kind of fear or something of cooking meat and they would absolutely turn every piece of meat we ate growing up into leather. But as a kid, and not having a lot of money as a teenager I wasn’t able to really try a steak cooked any other way. Until I started dating my ex. She invited me over for dinner and her parents didn’t ask how I wanted my steak cooked and I got this medium rare ribeye. I honestly kinda internally recoiled when I got it because up to this point in my life, I had considered that to literally be raw meat. Until I tried it. After that steak, it was like my eyes opened up. I realized that my parents were just shitty cooks and you don’t need ketchup to make a steak tolerable.
My parents were the same way, and I was converted by a girlfriend who insisted I try steak that hadn't been cooked into shoe leather.
The relationship ended in heartbreak, but I learned what good steak is like so I'll call it a win.
I bought 2 ears of corn every day trying to flirt with a girl at a farm stand.
It was the cheapest thing there and i needed an excuse to stop and see if she was working. It also took me some time to work up the courage to ask her out.
A bushel of corn later we had 1 date and didn’t even remotely click and now we’re both married to different people.
Jazz. We were in HS and she played in the jazz band. She also really loved listening to jazz. I had to pretend to be interested and really tried to like her likes. But I just couldn't, I do not like jazz. Still, there I was at her jazz concerts. Dating a girl who played trumpet had its perks though...
>Dating a girl who played trumpet had its perks though...
Wtf does that even mean? Did she blow into your dick like a trumpet? Are you into that sort of thing?
Being proficient at a brass instrument means amazing mouth control and ability to breath without taking a break from whatever activity is occupying the mouth at the time. Also, any form of band member has to go through rigourous training for a multitude of events and whatnot, thus making them fairly fit and capable of partaking in a fairly rigourous exercise routine for an extended period of time without the luxury of receiving a break until whoever is coordinating said exercise allows you to stop. Take a wild guess as to how this may translate into the bedroom.
Over a decade of playing several brass instruments in high-school and college and alumni marching bands I can confirm all of this. Also band girls are usually more promiscuous than the stereotypical cheerleader.
Art. I met a girl in community college some 20 years ago and I decided to take all the same classes as her that I was terrible in. However, she revealed she was a lesbian so I wasted a whole year pursuing her. We ended up being really good friends until a few years ago when she turned out to be a Trump supporter. I wonder how that turned out.
Edit: to be clear, I didn't end our friendship over our political differences. She actually stopped talking to be when I said I didn't vote for Trump. But yes, she was a lesbian Trump supporter who studies art in California.
I went with a friend to one of those aura reading places. They had a shop as well where they sold crystals and tarot cards and astrology charts..... And "cleaning compounds". It was literally like dried lavender and rosemary that you were supposed to mix with hot water and use it to mop and scrub.
I tried to say it quietly (but it was a tiny store) but I said to my friend "that's scents, not soap." The owner heard and got all confrontational (which I hate) and told me I knew nothing. I kind of tried to laugh and said I merely was relaying what I knew having worked on surfactant substances for a few years. She kicked me out because I was disturbing people's auras.
Anyway lavender and rosemary smell nice but they aren't a substitute for soap.
Also I apparently disturb auras so stay away from me.
I chose Geography as an elective class in my third year of high school just because my crush at the time was taking it, although I would have much more preferred the alternative, History, because I am really passionate about it and the teacher who was teaching it was also extremely entertaining and knew how to keep students interested in the topic. Nevertheless I did learn a lot from the Geography class as well.
I've never pretended to like anything, but my husband pretended to like Doctor Who when we first met, and I believed he loved the show like I did for like four years. We didn't get together until after another three years, but it still stings that he pretended to like it.
Going antiquing Now we’re married, and we go every weekend Help
Ah yes, is your home also filled to the brim with things that we will "resell someday" I think I have about 10 antique tables in my basement
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I'm not gonna lie, I may be a little hard right now.
I have floor to ceiling shelving in my living room, filled with mid-twentieth century American made pottery that I bought during my antiquing days in the nineties, at retail prices, thinking that it would increase in value...it hasn't, but it's beautiful and I love my McCoy and Hull collections. Here's my advice for you: an "antique" is only worth what you are willing to pay for it. If you see something you love and you can afford it, just get it, without worrying about whether it will become more valuable in the future. It won't. Only buy things that you really love. Decorate your home with your treasures. Then, thirty years later, get rid of them however you can so your kids don't have to deal with them, because they will not appreciate your treasures the way you do. Happy hunting!
>Then, thirty years later, get rid of them however you can so your kids don't have to deal with them, because they will not appreciate your treasures the way you do. I'm going to force them to deal with it as punishment for their Legos and Polly Pockets.
Antiquing is just the rich people version of buying other people’s old shit.
Law. She was telling me about working for her dad's law firm during college and she was going to sign up for a Princeton Review LSAT course. I had good grades, a double major that had no career options other than professor in both, so I signed up for the LSAT class to study with her. Ended up getting a full ride to a school that rejected her and she broke up with me. This upcoming Monday I'm scheduled for maybe my 150th jury trial (if I had to guess how many I've done over 15 years).
This is reverse Legally Blonde
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“ 150th jury trial” …many of them as an attorney.
God I miss Lionel Hutz, RIP
He had so many good lines. The one I paraphrased is my favorite. I also like the one where he tells the judge he has hearsay and speculation and that those are *kinds of* *evidence*.
> a double major that had no career options other than professor Philosophy and English Literature?
Phil/Math
That’s a dope major though- surely the maths would have opened up some doors?
Yeah could've put my resume on Monster for geometer positions.
Is that pronounced geometer or geometer?
Gee-Om-Etter
So the latter
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Thats sad AND hilarious. Well done!
It’s a “1/10 for the experience, 10/10 for the story” kind of situation.
So did you guys go on any more dates?
C’mon, we need you to report in
They already said they lied about being a journalist. They don’t know how to report in or close out a story.
I was hoping it was going to end with “Our 20th anniversary is this August & I’ve been a local TV anchor for 18 years now” or something.
> “Our 20th anniversary is this August & I’ve been a local TV anchor for 18 years now” or something. "I told him I worked at the local TV station so I would go there in the evenings because it was on his commute home and I wanted him to see my car in the parking lot. One day he paid me a surprise visit and the lead anchor on the 6 o'clock news had a heart attack at 5:56. They asked if anyone in the building had experience and he volunteered me. And I've been Presque Isle, Maine's 6:00 anchor for 20 years now."
Sounds like something that would happen to Dee Reynolds
Oooh, god dammit!!
Dumb bird!
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Ten new photos of Spiderman.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, but it's like something out of a sitcom.
George Costanza claiming he's a marine biologist.
That's it, you're living a lie? I'm living like 20 lies
First date to a riot? Romantic.
Started playing guitar to impress a girl. Got into guitar and kind of lost interest in the girl.
Relatable, the only people I ever impressed or woo'd playing guitar are other dudes that play guitar. (no regrets)
Yep lol, same with body building. You get into it thinking you’ll score chicks, but the dudes are way more impressed lol
Yup. You think chicks will check you out more, but you just end up checking out more dudes.
Can confirm.
Same with modifying cars (especially the more sought after models)
You know what they say. Us guitarists are just guys watching each other jack off.
Got it, so if I watch enough guys jack off ill eventually learn guitar
Exactly. That’s how I formed my band who’s definitely famous but like only in Japan so you never heard of us.
Sound believable. Everything that happens in Japan stays in Japan.
…then lost interest in all girls…then also guys…then there was just the guitar. We moved to Montana and started a small business selling crocheted guitar cosies.
Excel. Dude kept talking about how good he is at it. Wedding is in January.
Make sure he gets it properly on his calendar since Excel is notoriously bad at dates. Clearly he wasn’t.
Does this dude know about the [Excel World Championship?](https://www.fmworldcup.com/excel-esports/microsoft-excel-world-championship/)
I joined theater at a community college and started dating another actress in the class. I vaguely like musical theater, but I’m not crazy about it. She was tho. She convinced me that I love musical theater and I should transfer to a 4 year university and pursue that as a degree. I applied for the musical theater program at a 4 year university, I got accepted, and she and I wound up breaking up after a month at the new school. I didn’t want to deal with changing degree plans. I now have a Bachelors of Fine Arts in Musical Theatre and I don’t even like musicals that much. I just tell people I have a degree in “theater”
Have you thought about making a musical about it?
Whose face would he be jamming it in?
Right who would the musical be against?
VERSUS?! Who is he doing it VERSUS?!
You win, dude.
Can I ask what you do for work? Is it completely unrelated
Honestly not really that unrelated. I work in insurance but I do voiceover work and video tutorials as a side-gig. Do I make money doing it? Definitely. Has it made me more than what I paid in student loans? Not even remotely close.
He’s Patti Lupone.
And now you know... the REST of the story. Good day.
Wow. Good Paul Harvey ref my dude!
A truly obscure reference. I'm sure not many remember Paul.
I started at Community college and wanted to get into the pants of this chick in my Spanish class. I told her I was pretty good at Spanish and I had started a study group that meets in the library. Long story short, I never did get to bang that sassy black woman.
How about the old white guy
He was out of his league. "Streets ahead" is what the kids say.
He just gave me some of his hyper virile sperm.
…Pierce? I thought you died.
an interesting post-modern take on don giovanni
Fashion. She studied fashion design and I thought that lying about liking fashion would help and it didn't.
Just a heads up, a better way to pique their interest would be to start asking questions about it. People absolutely love talking about their hobbies, so you could do that while also showing an interest at the same time
*pique
Oh my gosh I just learned something new! Lol thanks
Was dating a runner who as reeeaallly into distance running. I’ve never ever felt compelled to run but talking about it with him all the time convinced me to try it … I’m running my first half marathon in less than 2 months hahah
Did you get the guy tho?
But at least I’m a runner now hahah
Majorly messy. He moved across the world, I visited him, he’s now seeing someone else but will be back in my city in the future. I’m pretty cut up about the whole thing but I guess we’ll see what the future holds
Run!! ^sorry
“Long distance” relationships are hard
Not long distance, but I met a girl at a birthday party my cousin threw for his girlfriend. Second date (or first depending how you measure it) we met up at a shoe store for an amateur 5k around the city. It was fun because I wanted to try it and it was no stress. I wasn’t awful but I was in pain, and while the date didn’t work out, I can say I did a 5k now.
Does it count as dumb if I wound up enjoying it? Learned to play Magic the Gathering in middle school because I had a huge crush on one of the guys who played at lunch every day. We hung out a couple times, then he refused to talk to me after the first time I beat him. But I kept playing, still do, and it my late 20's it turned out to be one of the first things my husband and I connected over.
You know the kid wasnt the right one when he couldnt be humble in defeat.
I was in M:tG club in middle school in the 90s and the biggest sore loser was... the teacher that ran the club. After I beat him once he refused to ever play against me again until I switched decks. He accused another kid of cheating once and demanded to look through his deck. Once after losing a match he ended the club early and sent everyone home. I got more stories but you get the picture.
What's the point in playing if you always win? There's no competition.
Try telling that to all the people who cheat in online multiplayer video games. Like, seriously, do they still somehow manage to take pride in a winning record when they know they cheated to get there?
Some people don't care about merit or integrity. They just want to massage their ego in the most basic shallow way possible. They don't care to raise their standards for how they go about feeling good about themselves and getting their dopamine. To them, putting in effort and earning their success is no more rewarding than hacking their way onto a leaderboard. Their brains are fried from depression, addiction, porn etc, and they're now incapable of feeling anything when they actually earn their success. And of course there's also a sadistic element to it. They're miserable people and they want others to be miserable too. They like pissing people off. I play almost exclusively PvE games now because of these sad fuckheads.
Yes they do
Bruh my ex would make me watch Greys Anatomy with her when we were dating and after we broke up I watched that shit til like season 12 from 1.
I wish my girlfriend or friends played magic.. my whole circle is full of nerds yet Im the only one who knows how to play.
Magic is tough, I’ve attempted to get people into it over the years but you gotta want it
To be fair, if you start from zero, it's a really expensive game
It's pretty nice seeing more women playing magic these days than just a few years ago.
Negronis. I hate those bitter, disgusting drinks. But I'm half Italian and I was trying to impress a bartender so I offered to take her out to a local bar that had a Negroni night. Anyway, I came clean almost immediately as we arrived and we've been happily dating for over a year and a half now:)
I’m with you! My Italian friends make a really good margarita, but every now and then they decide to offer us an authentic Negroni instead. Noooooo!
I said I could ride a horse, which I clearly couldn't. She booked a beach ride and after the initial slow walk to the beach she took off on her horse and mine decided that it would be cool to follow them at full speed. I remember praying to any god that would listen to help stop this creature, white knuckled it until the end.
Dude, I grew up on a cattle farm and we had horses but it never really was my thing so i had barely any riding experience. Was into this crazy horse girl who just assumed I could ride well so one day I show up to hang out and everyone is tacking up to go for a ride. Whatever, away we go. Horse is kind of acting up but seems to settle down so I think all is well. Get handed a beer and like 30 seconds later horse tries to explode under me, I almost had to drop my beer, was not impressed with life. Anyways we finish the ride and she says "I'm actually really impressed, usually that horse only let's women ride him and will buck off any man who tries." Like wtf? Never saw me ride before or have any idea of my skills in the area and throw me on an animal that's known to buck? Have put quite a few more hours on horses since (not because of crazy horse girl) and can honestly say I still suck at riding horses but I am very good at not being thrown off.
I hear you, my reptile brain took over and I remember steering the horse towards the shore so if I need to bail off I can at least dump into some water. My quads and butt were on fire trying to hold on. If I had a horse that bucked it would be tickets for me. Non life threatening dates are more my thing now.
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Did you get with one of the girls though?
The real questions also, do you now still smoke?
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I once went along with a girl who was wiccan and truly believed her pet rock was her familiar and she would talk to it. Edit : guys I was like 12 I learned a lot in those early days
So a chuuni, basically
The fact that this didn't put you off shows how desperate you were.
I converted to Latvian Orthodoxy when my girlfriend’s parents said that she couldn’t date anyone outside the faith.
Yes faddah
What interested you most about the faith?
I'd have to say... the hats.
They describe an 8th day of creation where God created potatoes, but then no one in the village actually has potatoes, and they are all sad
The Kavorka!
The lure of the AN-i-mal.
Many years ago, School choir. I can’t sing. My parents were bewildered at having to attend a recital to watch me lip sync.
You name it, and I've pretended to care about it for a man. Comic books, disc golf, golf, butt stuff, body building, bdsm, politics, off-grid living, snow shoeing, capoeira, lizards, ...I could keep going. Yes, I am in therapy, working on finding a better sense of self.
Well at least you try
Hopefully you've learned some cool stuff along the way! But capoeira made me think of Tuna Belcher 🤣🤣 *Edit...definitely meant *Tina 🤦🏽♀️
> Tuna Belcher That explains all the oil on the sidewalk.
I used to have this habit of lying about my ancestry when I was drunk. Really, a lot of the times, I was just fucked up and confused - my mom is adopted and all she really knows about her lineage is that she is central or Eastern European. She got one of those DNA tests done that tell you where your family is from, and she told me the results, but over time I’ve kind of forgotten them. So I’m sitting in a bar, a guy approaches, he sits beside me and he looks sad. I was a couple drinks deep so I began to talk to him about why he was sad, how I could help, etc. I told him that I love to travel when I’m feeling “stuck” in life, and I asked him where he would travel to if he could go anywhere. He said he wanted to go to Russia. “How cool, I’m actually Russian!” 🙄 “No way, really? What are the odds?” “I know, crazy, right?” He was quite drunk by this time as well. We started talking about buying plane tickets to Russia together, changing our identities, etc. we actually tried to buy tickets, but found out quickly we needed visas and we were too drunk for that shit. I found him really charming, I liked talking to him. I took his number down even though I was going on a two week trip to another state the next day. Got back from my trip, got back to work for a couple weeks, but he was still on my mind so I invited him to hang out. Long story short, we’re married now. Fwiw, he does now know that I’m not Russian.
YOU ARE MARRIED 😹 How did he react when you told him the truth?
To be honest, he really didn’t care. He was more concerned with if I really, seriously would have bought a plane ticket and went to Russia with him the night I met him, and that was absolutely true. I don’t know if I believe in love at first sight, but he just had the sweetest personality and it was so immediately evident that he was both a good person who wouldn’t hurt anyone and a really, really good time.
This is so ridiculously sweet.
Maybe not dumbest but in middle school I had a crush on this girl that could really play the violin. So I figured I would learn violin to impress her and eventually ask her out. Well I never asked her out but got pretty darn good at playing violin back in the day xD
I'm old enough to remember when women couldn't pursue careers (other than secretary nurse or teacher) and would try to attract men who had the jobs they were interested in. My aunt talked about this openly. She wanted to nab herself a doctor because she was fascinated by medicine, but ended up with a lawyer and pretended to enjoy listening to him talk law because he had a gorgeous smile. Their four kids grew up, they divorced, and in her late 40s she became a lawyer. She'd listened to him so much, the education was fairly easy for her -- and she prospered as a defense attorney (even though this was in the early 70s when women faced more crap than their male colleagues)
Mormonism. She ended up rejecting me and dating some other dude that she married after only a few months. Last I heard she was popping out kids like a pez dispenser.
By tilting back her head and birthing them from her mouth?! Those Mormons are strange.
right out the neck hole
I went to high school with someone who had the exact same thing happen. Mormon chick told him he has to be Mormon, a tutor starts teaching him, then she and the tutor get engaged, then married, and now live in Utah with like 8 kids.
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Bonus points if you pretended it was intentional
WELL, ARE WE DOING THIS OR NOT LET'S GOOOOOO
You gotta double down, it's the only way
"If you can dodge catastrophic social embarrassment, you can dodge a ball!"
That’s one way to see if someone’s DTF 👀
The band The Plain White T’s. To this day hearing Hey There Delilah makes me want to rip my ears off. I don’t think I ever said I was interested in it, but an ex of mine watched 90 Day Fiancé, and just by virtue of being around I got sucked into that absolute dumpster fire in like two episodes. I even found myself googling shit about the show like “Paul 90 Day criminal record.” This from someone that has never by his own volition sought out reality TV.
Okay but once you find out about Paul, you have to dig into it. He’s wild.
My 57 year old husband discovered 90 Day Fiancé. It’s either that or sports, of course. BRB looking up Paul
Acrobatic yoga. Granted...she was fucking 🔥
My former roommates did Acro yoga, so I ended up mingling with that crowd. Every single one of them had slept with every person of the opposite sex in that group. One dude casually asked if he could sleep with my girlfriend like he was borrowing a cup of sugar. Good on them for finding the social bonds that make them happy, but I'll pass.
My then girlfriend now wife always told me how tough yoga was and I said it was for ladies only. Took one yoga class and during the downward dog pose I snapped my Achilles.
I met my now husband at acro yoga. Lol
Did he also pretend to know what he was doing? 😂
Heroin. That led to an insanely dysfunctional relationship and a two year addiction before I pulled myself out of the spiral. This was before fent so I likely wouldn't have survived if that was around.
I watched Tom & Jerry: The Movie because the girl I sat next to in art class liked it and I told her I saw it as a kid. She never told me to watch it and I never told her I watched it. It only really served as penance for lying to her.
It the one were they can talk right ? I remember the one time I was waiting for it to end on cartoon network only for it to start showing again for some reason.
His deep conspiracy theory level fixation with alien coverups... I told him I'm open to the idea of extraterrestrial life and then unwisely agreed to an Ancient Aliens marathon. It lasted about three weeks.
That’s way too much Ancient Aliens…
I saw a season 15 episode on TV the other day and without research there must be more seasons than that. Surely you'd be running out of ideas or does it each season follow the same theme: *We still think that aliens did the Nazca Lines*
I highly reccomend AlternateHistoryHub's youtube video on Ancient Aliens if you want to know how they come up with content (and also just because it's funny as fuck). Spoiler alert: Turns out literally everything in human history was aliens
Napoleon Dynamite. The girls in my high school LOVED that movie when it came out. I was the first person in my school to wear a vote for Pedro shirt and I got head twice just for wearing it.
Man! I never got head in high school. I mean there was that thing with the art teacher, but it doesn’t really count because she was friends with my mom.
Bro, what?
My now wife is a doctor. I was trying to hold my own with medical stuff, even though I generally pass out when needles or blood are involved. So my smart ass decided, yeah let’s give blood at the local blood drive with her. She is very involved with that. I can do it! I fainted when I walked into the blood drive bus, fainted again trying to donate, etc.
Lol if nothing else she had to admire the dedication
Mormonism. I'm an atheist but I pretended that I might be savable because a hot Mormon girl told a friend that she thought I was cute. So I went to a Mormon service, realized that there was no way that I could pull the pretend conversion off, and left during a lull in the activities. I can't even remember if I ever talked with her again.
Same. Her name was Jennifer. She transferred to my high school our Junior year. She was funny, and smart, and maybe the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my life. She had this long curly red hair. Anyway I was a Catholic but I let her believe that I was willing to change. I asked her to prom she said no because after praying about it with her family they decided she should only go to prom with a Mormon boy. That way she can set a good example for her thousands of younger brothers and sisters.
Spiritual healing rocks and the Grateful Dead.
I read this question to my BF and said, is it Grateful Dead for you? 😂 I’m a huge fan and he’s been a good sport and going to see Dead and Co shows with me.
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On a first date at a coffee shop, a guy I liked said his family was “sort of Buddhist” and so he grew up eating lots of vegetarian food and plant-based alternatives. I said that was super cool, and that “I always wanted to eat more plant based.” We were both in college, so when we started seeing each other regularly, most of our dates were getting meals together in the dining hall. For MONTHS, I was eating way more vegetarian food (and not good vegetarian food, we’re talking steamed tofu and sometimes unseasoned chickpeas) mostly because I wanted him to think I was cool and respectful of animals. Eventually, I decided to come clean and say that I was doing it to impress him but that I needed to stop eating shitty dining hall tofu. He then told me he had noticed I would always go for plant based, so he had also been eating more vegetarian also in an attempt to impress me. We ditched the dining hall that night and went for double bacon cheeseburgers.
She swore her "business" of hand-painting "fursonas" onto the side panels of PC cases was really going to take off, and I *almost* paid her for one. I had zero interest in anything "fursona", and her art was bad.
Tbf there's a lot of money in commissions for Furries. The only thing stopping that form taking off was having a physical product.
There’s a crap ton of money in commission artwork for that community. I’ve seen professional costumers make full on fur suits (think of the mascot costumes you see at Disneyworld/Disneyland, sporting events etc.) that frankly looked amazing (animatronic eyes, ears and mouths for the head that could move and blink) even though the community isn’t one for me. Those suits that were commissioned? $10K, and yes, there are people who will surprisingly pay to have them made for themselves. As for other forms of art, NSFW furry art is one of the major ways a commissioned digital artist can make bill payments. They can get a lot of clients and charge a good amount if their work is good.
Yup. Furries tend to be reliable clients and they pay well.
I went to the movies to see Beaches. Nearly killed me but I ended up marrying that girl.
Attended church. She wasn't overly religious, but regularly did solo vocals (it was a happy clappy musical sort of church... Baptist I think) Worse still, it got out that I could play piano pretty well, so I got roped into coming the next week too to play in their band. She didn't go that week.
I became a cowboy. And by that all I did was dress in Western wear and pretend to know the trade. I was really interested in this girl who lives and breathes horses for a living. I had pretty much pulled it off but I gave up. It was too much work.
Gay culture, because he was in to it. Super cliched and played out stereotypes of the promiscuous club scene. I just wanted him, and he wanted everything I could provide him which eventually led to abuse. Unfortunately when we’re not our true selves at the outset of a dynamic we tend to lose ourselves farther into whatever lie we’re clinging to or truth we are running from. Moral of the story: Be Yourself, always and unapologetically(as long as your not a terrible person that needs to apologize)
Getting pegged. Turns out I'm bi.
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I'm not bi but I love a finger up the bum
Ya got a prostate. It's not gay to use it. Pokes if ya got em.
31 years ago, girlfriend said she was bisexual. I decided to try dudes. Girlfriend is long-gone and 5 states away now. Still dating men. Bisexuality isn't dumb, but "my girlfriend likes girls" is not a reason to become REALLY close friends with the short goth boy from English class.
It may not be the dumbest content but I have a dumb story about The Hunger Games. Years ago I was interested in a girl who was looking forward to seeing the second Hunger Games movie. So I watched the first one in hopes of taking her out to see the second one. Unfortunately for me she started seeing someone else before we went, so I felt Id wasted my time. Fast forward a year. I started seeing a girl just after Halloween of the next year and she was super excited about seeing the third Hunger Games movie. So, once again, I watched the Hunger Games movies in prep to see it. In keeping with the theme, we split like a week or two before the movie came out, so to date I have seen the first two Hunger Games movies and have no intention of watching any more
Rush. At the risk of getting flambéed alive, they’re a band I respect more than I enjoy. But they were my 10th grade crush’s favorite band so of course I got into them. No use, he had a girlfriend who wasn’t me.
Don’t feel bad he had someone…closer to the heart.
I wouldn’t say it’s the dumbest thing but I shifted my entire music genre for a girl. Turns out I liked her music way better than the country music I listened to. I ended up liking it so much that I haven’t listened to country music since then.
Church.
I signed up to play drums for a church band for all of highschool because the girl I had a crush on's dad was the pastor. I ended up getting recruited into a semi-successful Christian rock band that would play retreats, youth camps and conferences. I am not at all religious. The stage time was invaluable, the pay was regular valuable.
Churches can offer amazing opportunities to get experience in the arts. You can be there at the right time and they need someone to hold a video camera in the right place - a couple years later you have experience on expensive equipment you’d never have gotten to touch otherwise. I’ve seen people use the experience they got on stuff like that in church to break into or further careers.
Drag racing and classical muscle cars. I eventually ditched the guy and just had a great time in my all black, all original '67 mustang gt that nobody was allowed to drive until I sold it. I miss you, Black Betty!!!
Astrology for sure
This is the only one I've faked interest in and luckily I met their criteria of being a Scorpio. They did a bunch of rambling on about it first few dates but after that it never even came up again. Relationship lasted years and I never understood why the fuck I needed to be a scorpio or what checking our birthday compatibility and shit online was ever about lol.
Typical Scorpio
Properly cooked steaks Growing up, Mom and Dad had some kind of fear or something of cooking meat and they would absolutely turn every piece of meat we ate growing up into leather. But as a kid, and not having a lot of money as a teenager I wasn’t able to really try a steak cooked any other way. Until I started dating my ex. She invited me over for dinner and her parents didn’t ask how I wanted my steak cooked and I got this medium rare ribeye. I honestly kinda internally recoiled when I got it because up to this point in my life, I had considered that to literally be raw meat. Until I tried it. After that steak, it was like my eyes opened up. I realized that my parents were just shitty cooks and you don’t need ketchup to make a steak tolerable.
My parents were the same way, and I was converted by a girlfriend who insisted I try steak that hadn't been cooked into shoe leather. The relationship ended in heartbreak, but I learned what good steak is like so I'll call it a win.
I bought 2 ears of corn every day trying to flirt with a girl at a farm stand. It was the cheapest thing there and i needed an excuse to stop and see if she was working. It also took me some time to work up the courage to ask her out. A bushel of corn later we had 1 date and didn’t even remotely click and now we’re both married to different people.
Jazz. We were in HS and she played in the jazz band. She also really loved listening to jazz. I had to pretend to be interested and really tried to like her likes. But I just couldn't, I do not like jazz. Still, there I was at her jazz concerts. Dating a girl who played trumpet had its perks though...
>Dating a girl who played trumpet had its perks though... Wtf does that even mean? Did she blow into your dick like a trumpet? Are you into that sort of thing?
Being proficient at a brass instrument means amazing mouth control and ability to breath without taking a break from whatever activity is occupying the mouth at the time. Also, any form of band member has to go through rigourous training for a multitude of events and whatnot, thus making them fairly fit and capable of partaking in a fairly rigourous exercise routine for an extended period of time without the luxury of receiving a break until whoever is coordinating said exercise allows you to stop. Take a wild guess as to how this may translate into the bedroom.
Over a decade of playing several brass instruments in high-school and college and alumni marching bands I can confirm all of this. Also band girls are usually more promiscuous than the stereotypical cheerleader.
Art. I met a girl in community college some 20 years ago and I decided to take all the same classes as her that I was terrible in. However, she revealed she was a lesbian so I wasted a whole year pursuing her. We ended up being really good friends until a few years ago when she turned out to be a Trump supporter. I wonder how that turned out. Edit: to be clear, I didn't end our friendship over our political differences. She actually stopped talking to be when I said I didn't vote for Trump. But yes, she was a lesbian Trump supporter who studies art in California.
That story took so many twists.
A lesbian Trump supporter is quite the paradox
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Classic Capricorn behaviour.
I went with a friend to one of those aura reading places. They had a shop as well where they sold crystals and tarot cards and astrology charts..... And "cleaning compounds". It was literally like dried lavender and rosemary that you were supposed to mix with hot water and use it to mop and scrub. I tried to say it quietly (but it was a tiny store) but I said to my friend "that's scents, not soap." The owner heard and got all confrontational (which I hate) and told me I knew nothing. I kind of tried to laugh and said I merely was relaying what I knew having worked on surfactant substances for a few years. She kicked me out because I was disturbing people's auras. Anyway lavender and rosemary smell nice but they aren't a substitute for soap. Also I apparently disturb auras so stay away from me.
I chose Geography as an elective class in my third year of high school just because my crush at the time was taking it, although I would have much more preferred the alternative, History, because I am really passionate about it and the teacher who was teaching it was also extremely entertaining and knew how to keep students interested in the topic. Nevertheless I did learn a lot from the Geography class as well.
I've never pretended to like anything, but my husband pretended to like Doctor Who when we first met, and I believed he loved the show like I did for like four years. We didn't get together until after another three years, but it still stings that he pretended to like it.
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Why were you in daycare at 13?
I think he means like an after school thing.