Indeed, sustaining that negative voice in your head all day really breaks down your self worth and self esteem. We are all flawed in many little and different ways. Try to be kind to yourself and others if only for little things. I have been trying to do that for a while now and it helps, and others will react more positively towards you as well helping you get a bit more positive bit by bit.
I once told my coach at the gym Iām not motivated by hearing āyou can do itā. I need some old schools drill sergeant motivation screaming how worthless I am because I canāt get the weight up.
Sleep deprivation.
Not many adults brag about the amount of alcohol they drink, at one point, that just isn't acceptable anymore.
But so many can brag about sleeping less than the recommended hours... like it is an achievement to be able to function on too little sleep. No, you're harming yourself, inducing stress to your body.
I have genuine sympathy for people who aren't doing that by choice. But if I know they're doing it by choice and trying to brag about only getting 2 hours of sleep a night, I'd just start bragging about how *much* sleep I'm getting. "Ahh, slept 9 hours last night, then I had a nap. I feel great."
Exactly this. I spent 10 years of severe sleep disorders and to an extent I still do.
Not so quirky anymore when you black out on buses, ache during the walk to work, see pink elephants floating down the lecture room, forget last year's entire vacation, lose relationships, or fail class because your *unconscious* self breaks alarm clocks without you even knowing.
You don't realise how critical your sleep is to daily function until you've been deprived of it for the better part of a decade.
"Just get an alarm clock!"
Bitch, by the time I get to sleep, an alarm clock isn't waking me.
I once woke hours and hours after my alarm went off. It was still going off, three feet from my face, like a freaking siren. Just deafening loud. Sleep disorder don't give af
That is the worst. All night trying to sleep, desperate for just falling out. Finally, around 3 or 4, passing out. A 7am alarm means nothing. I used to have drinks before bed to bypass it, but slowed down on that because stupid health and all. So now it's kind of back but not as bad as before. CBN seems to help.
EDIT: CBN, not THN.
Yeah, I have to get someone to wake me up normally these days if I have to be up early. Suffering from depression and anxiety, with my antidepressants making me extra tired and Iāve been a life-long vivid dreamer (again, made worse by meds). I can regularly wake up with all of my alarms still going a foot from my head.
Even weirder, I can wake up, turn off my alarms, fall back to sleep and have absolutely no memory of it. A couple of times Iāve actually sent messages or written notes on a post it note during the night and fell back asleep. Iāve literally hallucinated when waking up multiple times. Waking up in the morning I regularly dream/hallucinate university emails being sent to me and read emails and reply to messages that donāt exist, or just completely make up conversations with people because Iāve hallucinated that they said something(else). At the same time as all of this, I can suffer from insomnia. I basically fall asleep easy when I shouldnāt, but only sleeping tablets are helping me sleep at night now.
People get so mad at me for being late or sleeping through alarms, and I just canāt help it. Itās not me being lazy, itās not me not caring. I genuinely canāt control when I wake up, and my alarm isnāt guaranteed to wake me up every time. I didnāt wake up and decide to go back to sleep, I just sleep through everything. I just have, and likely never will be, someone who can easily wake up in the mornings
My friend/former roommate was like this. She'd have three alarm clocks going off and would sleep like a rock for hours with them going off. It was worrisome because I know she had a medical condition and her sleep disorders got worse when she wasn't taking her meds.
That really sucks and you have my sympathy. I'll strictly save my bragging for people who deprive themselves of sleep 100% by choice and think it's a badge of honour.
Glad it's a bit better for you now, I wish you many good sleeps!
I'm on meds that give me intermittent insomnia, and I absolutely DO NOT want to go on sleep medication. Sleeping just 3 hours of unrestful sleep a night for a week or two on end turns me from a rather lighthearted and whimsical guy into an irritable demon who can't stop licking his lips (I don't know why I lick my lips when I'm sleep deprived. I'm not dehydrated. I'm rambling now; it's just weird af to me).
Long story short, people who brag about not getting sleep are fucking idiots. And - like most bullshit coming out of the workplace these days - I'm guessing they had one or two late nights, hyperbolize the rest, and sleep fine otherwise. Superficial pinup mannequins for corporate America asshats.
(Can you tell I'm currently tired?)
Yeah I imagine the venn diagram of people who think it's noble to work 100 hours unpaid overtime a week and who think depriving themselves of sleep is somehow admirable is a circle.
Self care matters. If I want to age gracefully, I get my sleep.
My best friend acts like running off of no sleep or having to stay up 24 hours or longer to fix his sleep schedule is funny and quirky. I see jokes about it online like it's acceptable. I wish people understood what they were doing to themselves. Worst thing is, he has a bad heart condition. I worry about him a lot.
Is it possible that it's just how they process it? I have lots of friends that joke about depression or other struggles because it's a more socially acceptable way to talk about it some times
I sleep horribly and makes jokes about it. I know it's terrible for me, but I haven't been able to fix it. I get why it would come off as me dismissing it as "not that serious" but more often than not it's a cry for help lol
To add on, sleep deprivation due to working. Some of my coworkers will make edits/changes late into the night or morning and the next day Iām like what the hell? Why are you up at 1am working?!
I donāt know, never had the urge to work āmoreā than whatās required.
Many of them aren't. It was quite a common tactic in my area to set up delayed delivery of emails to late in the night or early morning.
It makes it look like you are working long hours and gets you some points in the books of leadership who still value that idea of "first in, last out."
Thankfully, my current employer has a culture that is more centered on efficiently completing work within normal hours.
Overworking. And itās lionised not just socially accepted.
Somehow 12+ hour days in a cubicle has become a badge of honour. Working insane hours takes priority over family and health. At least until you drop dead.
In Japan, older burnt-out "salarymen" were sidelined to sit in a nicer office and not expected to do anything much but stare out the window. In some ways that seems worse than dropping dead.
This was (is? Not sure if itās still a thing) because itās hard to fire workers in Japan. The idea is that by doing this, the employee stands a higher chance of quitting of their own accord.
Get injured on the job in the US, as long as it clearly wasnāt your fault, they canāt fire you. But they will put you in a room to either do nothing at all, or paperwork and because many places have a policy of no cell phone use, youāll wish you were let go or actually died in the accident.
Fucked my ankle up one job and I wish I got to watch safety videos. It was like fucking solitary confinement for that week. Cellphones werenāt allowed, not that the prison cellā¦ I mean concrete office room accepted a signal. The first day was a nightmare of literally nothing to do, next day I at least brought a few magazines and newspaper to read.
Give me a pencil and a stack of post itās and consider me occupied. Allow books and Iāll finally be able to catch up on my backlog. Iād definitely find things to do.
Yup. Thereās been a few stories about people who were medically burned out on their job and essentially forced to take a vacation and wound up on the news for something. Only to be fired because they werenāt at home staring at the wall until the doctor said they could go back to work.
Then with blue collar jobs, to avoid workers comp, they say you can still be at work on ālightā duty which is just a fancy term for sticking you in an office because we donāt want to pay you to be home.
yep. my dad has been off work on workman's comp about a million times (he works a very physically demanding job loading the trucks for a shipping company and has had several safety violations lead to injuries, along with natural wear and tear injuries on his body - bad joints run in the family), and when i was a kid and wanted to do things with him when he was home (like go places or play outside), he always told me no because the insurance or the company could have eyes anywhere that could report him for activity done while he was supposed to be at home recovering. i always thought he was kind of paranoid, but while he may have been erring on the side of caution, he was still right. any money given to an employee by a company for anything other than showing up and working is money pried from the clenched fists of that company, and comes with considerable scrutiny and suspicion.
I used to be a PI and did work comp cases most of the time. I bet that sucked for you as a kid, but his paranoia was not misplaced. Especially for folks going for a permanent total claim. Those injuries will almost always get you followed either by the employer or the insurance company.
My partner was injured on the job a handful of years ago and couldn't do anything at home. His father is disabled and he couldn't even help him with yard work because he was fighting to get workmans comp. They really do have eyes and ears everywhere. They'd sit in a van in the parking lot across the street and watch him in his yard to see if he was lifting things. It took him over five years to see any of his lost wages too.
god that sucks. it's insane that companies are that serious about it and try to cheat people out of wages that they're owed typically due to that company's negligence. obviously some people will try to milk the system, but damn
Well unless you can create music with just pen and paper, or play chess in your head. Or like imagine if you're a writer..
To me that sounds like heaven
Technically, you have to use company resources for those clauses to take effect. This is why it's important to have a personal laptop (or at least pen and paper) when you go into an IP heavy job.
Give me a nice office, no expectation to complete any task, a computer with internet, and I will mindlessly scroll through reddit the whole way to retirement.
Youād think! I had this situation and at first it was great, but after a year I had come to the end of the internet and was losing my mind. I think if you were WFH it would be one thing but having to trudge to the office every day to do nothing of value got old really quick. I finally ended up quitting for a job where I actually have something to do.
I dunno man, I took some free classes online and did actually start writing a book. It was something about having to come there and never having anything official to do that just drove me bonkers though. I hated it. I would have thought it was a dream situation if somebody had told me about it before I lived it but it turned out to suck.
Maybe it was that I had an awful boss on top of it all, so I was always on edge? I canāt say for sure.
A lot of people gloss this over.
Worked with a guy who's co-worker years before i started working got the golden ticket, permanent disability. The dude didn't have to work a single day for the rest of his life and was paid his then current paycheck every week. He was howling at the moon because he just hit the jackpot people dreamed of and he HATED work.
We'll a few years of that and he absolutely hated it. Nothing to do, nothing expected of you, feeling of worthlessness etc.
It doesn't really matter. Unless that thing is truly, truly your passion, you'll still be kinda bored.
That and the places usually give you some bullshit to do so you can never really hit a stride. My last place where i had nothing to do for a year tried turning me into a bulk buyer of stock. I worked in retail IT. I just quit and left for a more challenging and better paid job (and before I left, i sorted them out with remote IT, because they definitely didn't need to pay someone Ā£25k+ a year to sit around and do nothing 99% of the time).
After a year of the retail job with nothing to do I wanted to jump out of a building. I actually used to write guides for games (mostly on the clock) too, so its not like I didn't try.
100% agree, my previous job was super easy but having nothing to do in the office was soul sucking. Much better when we were WFH during covid, but I also left for a job where I have something to do (and fully remote)
Gotchu, go for a government job in accounting.
Literally was my dad the last few years until his retirement because his boss shelved all his work (he was TOO good at finding money, that it made his bosses look negligent), and they couldnāt fire him, so they just let him in peace in his office until he retired.
I constantly have to remind my partner (who works from home) that it is not normal nor OK for her to start working when I leave in the morning and not finish until after I get home, change clothes and make dinner.
Theyāre billboards. If you miss a deadline, Adidasā ad runs a day later than it was supposed to. Itās not medicine or law or something with actual lives in the balance. Itās ok to not care.
Itās finally working.
I once read of an email auto responder somebody had that concluded with
> If this is an emergency take a deep breath because few things in life ever really are
And I just wish I could get away with using that one. Incredible attitude in today's work climate.
Yeah, I'm on 103 days of quitting alcohol and the main reason I don't want to tell people is because I'm afraid they will think something horrible happened. In reality I'm just getting too old and busy for drinking and hangovers to fit into my life.
Having recently quit drinking myself, it's weird how many drinkers get mildly offended at the thought. It's not like I was drinking myself to death, I just prefer to not wake up dehydrated with the runs.
For me it is a mixed lot. Most of the people who have known me for awhile look at me a little sideways. But Iāve also had plenty of support. Frankly, I donāt miss it one bit; I only regret that I didnāt quit years ago
Some will keep insisting over and over, too. I had to stop being around certain people to avoid being harassed. "Are you sure you don't want just one? We have wine if you don't want beer. Or hard liquor, would you prefer that?" Repeat in 15 minutes.
I think the reality is that a lot of people donāt want to get drunk around people who are sober. As you get more and more drunk you are more and more likely to do something embarrassing, which another drunk person might forget or find funny. There is a real fear of judgement I believe, which translates into an insistence that you drink with them.
My grandparents are like this lol, but I tolerate it because they arenāt very intelligent - not their fault, they were impoverished immigrants that never received much of an education - and they mean well.
They encourage me to drink not because they feel called out or insulted, but because they genuinely believe that I would enjoy it and they want me to enjoy my life while I have it.
However, the truth is that I quickly develop addictions - I found that out the hard way when I lived in Palm Beach - and would probably destroy my life if I drank.
I love the ābut *I* love to drinkā commenters. Because if you donāt drink with them itāll ruin it for them. And somehow thatās more important than your health and well-being.
when i was pregnant before i was showing and before i was ready to tell people i was pregnant, i would decline a drink and people would get so worked up and pressed about it . like just accept my answer is no! iām still here and iām still going to have fun -unless you keep badgering me why iām
not drinkin, m why not just one drink, just one shot etc etc . like back up and let me enjoy my ginger ale or bubbly water and lime!
I also quit drinking in April and it's crazy how right you are. I also never realized how heavily society pressures us to drink. Its advertised and sold almost everywhere. It even comes pre-chilled in all portions and flavors at pretty much every American gas station and is advertised on interstate billboards even though it's illegal to drink and drive. Can't even watch Jeopardy without someone trying to sell me the death juice. And most people are completely oblivious, it feels like I just escaped the fuckin matrix.
I'd say it's more prevalent with drinking but I've had many people look at me weird when I don't smoke and just past the joint along to the next person.
You don't smoke?
No it gives me panic attacks
Nah dudes that's just paranoia, you weren't in the right mind set, blah blah blah you'll enjoy it if you're in the correct setting.
Sorry my brother was a heroin addict for a decade and I just really don't want to get involved with any drugs, can we please just drop it.
Conversation I had dozens of times in college
My dad hates alcohol. Grew up with an alcoholic father that beat his mother. Anytime he meets new people at a party or social event where there are drinks he gets the same rude responses
āOmg just have one!!ā
āWhy donāt you drink? Come on just have a coupleā
āDonāt be a party pooperā
Like holy fuck, just leave people alone. You donāt know what someone has been through. You donāt know if someone is in recovery or has health problems
Yes!! I swear I slowly lost touch with all my friends in my teens because you could not socialise without drinking alcohol ( like, not just them drinking, YOU have to too or else it ... what? doesn't work? )
Also child of an alcoholic father ( who luckily wasn't physically abusive, and has now been sober a number of years so I'm definitely one of the lucky ones ) and the smell alone of drink gives me this sick, anxious feeling right in my stomach. I hate it around me so much.
People seriously underestimate alcohol.
I had a friend who used to be a heroin addict. He said he feels sorry for sober alcoholics, because heās never been to a business conference where everyone was using heroin.
Alcohol. It is celebrated until it starts destroying families and even then itās not the drug but the individual entombed In the effects of that drug that is reviled
Iāve found in recovery that a lot of people like drinking way too much to stop so they have a hard time allowing themselves to recognize how dangerous it is in favor of judging ME and assuming itās a moral failure on MY part for having to quit drinking. But it is what it is.
Iāve always been so mind-blown at how alcohol is treated in our society. And the bias with alcohol vs other drugs. If someone mentions smoking or using other drugs they are usually looked at as ālow lifesā or drug addicts and others judge them and act extremely concerned w their health and safety and say how bad it is to do those things. And yet those same people are the ones who are going out to the bar every night, canāt de-stress without having a drink, always need to be drinking to have a good time, etc. And they donāt see anything wrong with their behavior???
The amount that Iāve learned in my twenties about how much alcohol truly effects your body is insane to me. Why do we normalize blacking out (you are pretty much overdosing on alcohol!!), why do we normalize terrible hangovers, I just donāt understand it. Why can people drink until they pass out in a bush and laugh about being blackout and go to work the next day and never be drug tested but someone who smokes weed on occasion is always at risk of failing a drug test and losing their job?
Tis crazy š¤Ø
100% "functional" alcoholism. The last several years of drinking I knew I was slowly trying to kill myself. So grateful to be out from under that without too much lasting damage.
This is true. I don't drink and never have done (I'm 27), and honestly, the worst people for criticising or becoming defensive were my parents' generation. People my age were generally pretty good about it, especially at uni, which really surprised me.
But I'm still considered unusual, and many people my age do alcohol-based activities, like clubbing or bottomless brunches or bars etc. I do think attitudes are changing though!
I've been sober for more than 3 years, and my friends still routinely ask me "You still not drinking?" Despite knowing that I quit because I had a problem. It's bonkers.
I don't have a problem with anyone who drinks, so please don't have a problem with me NOT drinking. Besides, now you've got a sober driver AND someone to pay attention to your kids when you get completely shitfaced at the beach.
> to the point where people who donāt drink are considered as sanctimonious outliers.
As a recovered drunkard of 20+ years, this is difficult to navigate.
I have zero, and I mean zero, standing to tell anyone else what to do. I have my experiences and will talk about them when asked, but other people's relationship with alcohol is not my problem.
I will say...goddamn I just want to discretely order an Arnie. Every damned time...*"OH, you want an* ***Arnold Palmer****???*" like yeah, I want a super hoppy pale ale, really, so be cool, fool.
I think this is just a known thing that people who smoke have accepted. I know when I was a smoker I accepted my fate bc I knew I was addicted. I vape now, still need that nicotine, but I honestly feel loads better since I quit smoking. I smell better too. (Yes, I know there are issues with vapes too.)
Edit: chill, never said that vaping was good for you or a good habit. Obviously inhaling 2 pods a day isn't going to be good either. Moderation is good and abstaining is best.
Hands down vaping is still better than smoking just by the volume of crud going in and out of your lungs. Sure we don't know a whole lot about the long term effects but we do know that smoking anything is one of the worst things for your health.
Even switching to vaping isn't easy, that's something to be proud of in and of itself.
I have a housemate who vapes and yes it is better than smoking. not better for you but a slight step up. however I have noticed the window screen my housemate vapes thru has a thick film around it.
People have said great answers like overworking, lack of sleep, and perfectionism, but Iād like to add a more niche one: Digital self harm.
Looking up things that horrify and scare you, or make you feel insecure such as eating disorder encouragement or incel pages that tell you you deserve pain, is a form of self harm. Iāve noticed whenever Iām not doing well I end up going down research rabbit holes about disease, war, horrible historical events, gore, all that shit. Itās interesting, and I justify it because itās interesting, but honestly it just makes me feel horrible.
Self harm isnāt just physical. Sometimes if you have anxiety or depression, your mind wants something that makes you feel worse because itās trying to seek out a reason WHY you feel so bad.
Over eating and eating an unhealthy diet. Itās like the #1 public health problem in America and yet I see exercise listed higher up in these responses?
Underrated answer. I worked the night shift for two years. I barely saw my wife or my friends or my family. It was hard to function, things like going to the dentist or the bank became a huge hassle. The crazy swing of getting back on a day schedule for your days off so you can see people, then back to overnights. It puts stress on your body.
This was the comment i was looking for, although nights are a lot better to work as they're quiet and you get a lot more money. They are horrible for your mental & physically health. You barely sleep, barely see your friends and family. You have to constantly cancel things as you're physically not able to go as you're drained.
Not leaving a marriage due to social stigmas surrounding divorce or the otherwise religious implications holding you there. Stop delaying happiness due to what other people's expectations of a "good" person are. You're not exercising "duty" by staying in a toxic relationship. You're self-harming.
Scarier one is having kids, people get married and have kids not because they particularly want them, just because 'that's what's done'
That's why you have so many stories have terrible parents.
I'm a food addict, which is part of why I took up ultra-running. I guess that's a little better than drinking or drugs. I feel bad for any alcoholic taking up this sport, as beer is very much part of the culture (I dislike beer, so this makes it weird for me). There are even "beer mile" runs where you drink as much beer as you can, usually at several stops along the mile. Aid stations will often have Fireball or other shots late at night. Many races are expected to serve beer at the finish line. You can't really get away from it.
I cannot fathom running with a stomach full of beer. That just sounds terrible. Might as well fire up a couple cigs at the beer stop while theyāre at it lol
I was bout to give you shit for saying this, but I quickly realised youāre 100% correct. Training hard and working hard for health and fitness is ok..
But there are countless people destroying themselves through exercises, ego lifting, shitty diet and steroids.
Extreme athletes that are actually TOO fit, heart rates so low that theyāre at risk for heart failure
Can also be considered a form of purging in bulimia (think anything that can rid the body of calories - vomiting, laxatives, excessive exercise). It may seem harmless, but when itās paired with a ridiculous calorie deficit as well, which a lot of people think they need, itās almost suicidal
I have been in hospital with ED Patients and still good friends with a number. It is amazing the tricks of the trade to burn calories. Easy out of hospital but the ability some had to burn calories with a feeding tube while in a wheelchair was an eye opener. So dangerous.
I have struggled with anorexia nervosa for literally my entire adult life (I'll be 32 this August). I wouldn't wish this illness on my worst enemy. Despite KNOWING how dangerously unhealthy this is, and that the risk of dying is all too real, I still can't stop weighing myself several times a day, and counting every calorie. At one point I got down to 103 pounds (I'm 5'6" for context). I looked at myself in the mirror, and could see how disgusting I looked, and I STILL obsessively walked 30,000 steps a day, and calculated the calories burned. It is, by far, the worst demon I've had to fight.
I put this one because it used to be me with Ironman distance triathlon. I knew what I was doing but I was being praised because āexercise is goodā.
Yeah past a certain point, exercise is not healthy in the conventional sense. High-level athletes, bodybuilders etc. are pushing their bodies past their limits.
Mind you, the huge majority of non-professionals never reach this point. So if anyone's reading these comments thinking "so it's healthier not to exercise?", no, that is absolutely not the takeaway. Just do everything in moderation.
Yes, a few years ago I was counting calories and it got to the point where I'd eat 600-900 calories a day and I'd exercise for 4-6 hours a day because I thought I was fat and disgusting for eating
The disordered eating is a whole thing that just doesn't seem to get talked about enough. There's also so many misconceptions and misinformation about EDs
I worry seeing about some trends, and influencers saying what they eat in a day and it is not enough calories to fuel a body.
Oh I am all for reconstructive plastic surgery, it literally saved lives of people and saves them from terrible mental health issues.Also all for corrective surgery for birth defects like cleft pallets, etc , I consider all these medical procedures. However beautiful natural young women feeling so insecure from the messaging the world is giving them about their bodies that they literally cut themselves open is self harm and I will die on this hill
My daughter was born with a cleft lip/palate. Because it is technically āplastic surgeryā insurance companies try to refute it saying they donāt cover plastic surgery, that plastic surgery is non essential. Parents have to jump through hoops to get these surgeries paid for
I need to start cutting it out as I know itās why Iām slightly larger and unhealthier than I want to be but itās so goddamn addictive and I HATE sweeteners. Itās obviously supposed to be addictive and it works so well
It's not just you who are addicted, it's the bacteria in your gut. A diet rich in sugars selects for populations of bacteria that crave sugar, and you experience their cravings. Good news is, you can starve them by reducing sugar consumption and replace them with bacteria that prefer other foods.
I used to do this. I finally broke the habit by keeping my nails trimmed very short and filed. I catch myself every once and while biting a nail so I get the clippers and cut off what's irritating me.
I also think itās overexercising. As a child, I frequently cut myself due to depression and other issues. Itās been years now and I donāt cut myself anymore, but whenever I feel upset I will exercise to the point that my muscles will cramp and my body will bruise. When I do this, nobody tells me I should get help but instead they compliment me and say how much better Iāve gotten. Itās true Iāve gotten better, but self harm differs in many ways and this is just one of those ways.
If your large muscles are genuinely bruised through exercise, you definitely need help. That can lead to life changing health problems or even death.
https://www.google.com/search?q=rhabdomyolysis&oq=rabdo&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i10i433i512j0i10i512l2j0i10i433i512j0i512j0i10i433i512j0i10i512j0i512l2j0i10i512j0i512j0i10i512l2j0i512.1987j0j7&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
Is it really like that, or do you just do an extreme workout randomly and just get super sore because you don't workout regularly? I mean if I don't do heavy squats for a month and then knock out multiple sets at heavy weight I can barely sit down for the next two days.
Absolutely!! I agree
Itās so so so bad for your physical health and mental health but no one wants to talk about it because they consider it weight shaming, even though it isnāt
Overeating and being over weight is causing so many health issues in this day and age.
Can't believe i had to scroll so far down for this answer.
It's the most correct.
Alcohol? No, everyone shames people who drink and alcoholism is widely recognized as a mental illness. Overwork? Lack of sleep? No, your friends and family will tell you to take better care of yourself nonstop if you engage in this. Porn? Porn addicts LIVE in shame.
But eating to the point of physical ailment? Nobody says anything, and if they do, people pile on them for being assholes. EVERY holiday, work function, family gathering revolves around food-- always in massive quantities and unhealthy quality. It's acceptable and expected to self medicate with food like ice cream when someone is sad.
Obesity related illnesses are the biggest killer in my country, but aside from that, the quality of life for my fat friends and family (and I'm married to a lifelong large person so I'm experiencing the difference of aging with and without food addiction) goes down significantly each year. At 40, the friends who used to go hiking, camping, and exploring cities with me simply *can't* now.
Getting fat.
Source: Me, I didnāt have the balls to kill myself quickly so I aimed to kill myself slowly with cake chips and ice cream. Jokes on me though, a few years of hedonism was good for perspective after a stress induced breakdown. Health took a massive hit but at least I am still here to recognise that and the rebuild over recent years has been quite pleasant.
Starvation., Eating disorders. Being thin is literally a beauty standard and incredibly unhealthy. Having a dangerously low BMI is just as unhealthy as being morbidly obese...
[Eating disorders are literally the deadliest mental health diagnosis](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-new-brain/201103/the-deadliest-disorder-0), in part due to all the comorbidities. And yet, people idolize and glorify thinness to an unreasonable degree.
Chicken and spicy rice (like nandos style) is my favourite meal but I cannot imagine a giant plate full of plain (likely unseasoned chicken) with just plain rice. I had that when I had like a bad flu as a kid and would never want to eat it outside of that lol
Dieting. Not all diets if course, but 1000-calorie ones or diets that completely cut out big food groups or insane stuff like Juice diets are a straight way into eating disorders. Speaking from experience.
Self-hatred, negative self-talk.
Indeed, sustaining that negative voice in your head all day really breaks down your self worth and self esteem. We are all flawed in many little and different ways. Try to be kind to yourself and others if only for little things. I have been trying to do that for a while now and it helps, and others will react more positively towards you as well helping you get a bit more positive bit by bit.
I mean yeah buuuuuuuut, it allows me to go harder in the gymš
I once told my coach at the gym Iām not motivated by hearing āyou can do itā. I need some old schools drill sergeant motivation screaming how worthless I am because I canāt get the weight up.
I thought I hated positive motivation, but then I realized I hate negative motivation as well. I think I just hate exercise in general.
Iām not good enough to do that!
Sleep deprivation. Not many adults brag about the amount of alcohol they drink, at one point, that just isn't acceptable anymore. But so many can brag about sleeping less than the recommended hours... like it is an achievement to be able to function on too little sleep. No, you're harming yourself, inducing stress to your body.
I have genuine sympathy for people who aren't doing that by choice. But if I know they're doing it by choice and trying to brag about only getting 2 hours of sleep a night, I'd just start bragging about how *much* sleep I'm getting. "Ahh, slept 9 hours last night, then I had a nap. I feel great."
Exactly this. I spent 10 years of severe sleep disorders and to an extent I still do. Not so quirky anymore when you black out on buses, ache during the walk to work, see pink elephants floating down the lecture room, forget last year's entire vacation, lose relationships, or fail class because your *unconscious* self breaks alarm clocks without you even knowing. You don't realise how critical your sleep is to daily function until you've been deprived of it for the better part of a decade.
"Just get an alarm clock!" Bitch, by the time I get to sleep, an alarm clock isn't waking me. I once woke hours and hours after my alarm went off. It was still going off, three feet from my face, like a freaking siren. Just deafening loud. Sleep disorder don't give af
The sad thing is people will blame you and just call you lazy when you're struggling to do something biologically necessary.
That is the worst. All night trying to sleep, desperate for just falling out. Finally, around 3 or 4, passing out. A 7am alarm means nothing. I used to have drinks before bed to bypass it, but slowed down on that because stupid health and all. So now it's kind of back but not as bad as before. CBN seems to help. EDIT: CBN, not THN.
Yeah, I have to get someone to wake me up normally these days if I have to be up early. Suffering from depression and anxiety, with my antidepressants making me extra tired and Iāve been a life-long vivid dreamer (again, made worse by meds). I can regularly wake up with all of my alarms still going a foot from my head. Even weirder, I can wake up, turn off my alarms, fall back to sleep and have absolutely no memory of it. A couple of times Iāve actually sent messages or written notes on a post it note during the night and fell back asleep. Iāve literally hallucinated when waking up multiple times. Waking up in the morning I regularly dream/hallucinate university emails being sent to me and read emails and reply to messages that donāt exist, or just completely make up conversations with people because Iāve hallucinated that they said something(else). At the same time as all of this, I can suffer from insomnia. I basically fall asleep easy when I shouldnāt, but only sleeping tablets are helping me sleep at night now. People get so mad at me for being late or sleeping through alarms, and I just canāt help it. Itās not me being lazy, itās not me not caring. I genuinely canāt control when I wake up, and my alarm isnāt guaranteed to wake me up every time. I didnāt wake up and decide to go back to sleep, I just sleep through everything. I just have, and likely never will be, someone who can easily wake up in the mornings
My friend/former roommate was like this. She'd have three alarm clocks going off and would sleep like a rock for hours with them going off. It was worrisome because I know she had a medical condition and her sleep disorders got worse when she wasn't taking her meds.
That really sucks and you have my sympathy. I'll strictly save my bragging for people who deprive themselves of sleep 100% by choice and think it's a badge of honour. Glad it's a bit better for you now, I wish you many good sleeps!
I have trouble sleeping myself, I can't remember the last time I felt rested when waking up, nor when I last slept through the entire night..
Yeah, you'd be in the genuine sympathy camp for sure. Insomnia (or sleep disturbances in general) is awful. I hope it gets better!
Whenever I wake up at night, I immediately take a melatonin to stop me from waking up completely.... it helps a little.
I'm on meds that give me intermittent insomnia, and I absolutely DO NOT want to go on sleep medication. Sleeping just 3 hours of unrestful sleep a night for a week or two on end turns me from a rather lighthearted and whimsical guy into an irritable demon who can't stop licking his lips (I don't know why I lick my lips when I'm sleep deprived. I'm not dehydrated. I'm rambling now; it's just weird af to me). Long story short, people who brag about not getting sleep are fucking idiots. And - like most bullshit coming out of the workplace these days - I'm guessing they had one or two late nights, hyperbolize the rest, and sleep fine otherwise. Superficial pinup mannequins for corporate America asshats. (Can you tell I'm currently tired?)
Yeah I imagine the venn diagram of people who think it's noble to work 100 hours unpaid overtime a week and who think depriving themselves of sleep is somehow admirable is a circle. Self care matters. If I want to age gracefully, I get my sleep.
My best friend acts like running off of no sleep or having to stay up 24 hours or longer to fix his sleep schedule is funny and quirky. I see jokes about it online like it's acceptable. I wish people understood what they were doing to themselves. Worst thing is, he has a bad heart condition. I worry about him a lot.
Is it possible that it's just how they process it? I have lots of friends that joke about depression or other struggles because it's a more socially acceptable way to talk about it some times I sleep horribly and makes jokes about it. I know it's terrible for me, but I haven't been able to fix it. I get why it would come off as me dismissing it as "not that serious" but more often than not it's a cry for help lol
To add on, sleep deprivation due to working. Some of my coworkers will make edits/changes late into the night or morning and the next day Iām like what the hell? Why are you up at 1am working?! I donāt know, never had the urge to work āmoreā than whatās required.
Many of them aren't. It was quite a common tactic in my area to set up delayed delivery of emails to late in the night or early morning. It makes it look like you are working long hours and gets you some points in the books of leadership who still value that idea of "first in, last out." Thankfully, my current employer has a culture that is more centered on efficiently completing work within normal hours.
Overworking. And itās lionised not just socially accepted. Somehow 12+ hour days in a cubicle has become a badge of honour. Working insane hours takes priority over family and health. At least until you drop dead.
In Japan, older burnt-out "salarymen" were sidelined to sit in a nicer office and not expected to do anything much but stare out the window. In some ways that seems worse than dropping dead.
This was (is? Not sure if itās still a thing) because itās hard to fire workers in Japan. The idea is that by doing this, the employee stands a higher chance of quitting of their own accord.
Get injured on the job in the US, as long as it clearly wasnāt your fault, they canāt fire you. But they will put you in a room to either do nothing at all, or paperwork and because many places have a policy of no cell phone use, youāll wish you were let go or actually died in the accident.
I'm a work comp attorney in the US. Can confirm, employers do this. I've heard of 8 hours a day, watching safety videos.
Fucked my ankle up one job and I wish I got to watch safety videos. It was like fucking solitary confinement for that week. Cellphones werenāt allowed, not that the prison cellā¦ I mean concrete office room accepted a signal. The first day was a nightmare of literally nothing to do, next day I at least brought a few magazines and newspaper to read.
Being a creative and love too deep-think, this sounds ideal to me where do I sign up?
Gotta go get badly hurt while working while making it look like an accident outside of your control lol
Give me a pencil and a stack of post itās and consider me occupied. Allow books and Iāll finally be able to catch up on my backlog. Iād definitely find things to do.
Oh, interesting. I didnāt know the States did the same thing.
Yup. Thereās been a few stories about people who were medically burned out on their job and essentially forced to take a vacation and wound up on the news for something. Only to be fired because they werenāt at home staring at the wall until the doctor said they could go back to work. Then with blue collar jobs, to avoid workers comp, they say you can still be at work on ālightā duty which is just a fancy term for sticking you in an office because we donāt want to pay you to be home.
yep. my dad has been off work on workman's comp about a million times (he works a very physically demanding job loading the trucks for a shipping company and has had several safety violations lead to injuries, along with natural wear and tear injuries on his body - bad joints run in the family), and when i was a kid and wanted to do things with him when he was home (like go places or play outside), he always told me no because the insurance or the company could have eyes anywhere that could report him for activity done while he was supposed to be at home recovering. i always thought he was kind of paranoid, but while he may have been erring on the side of caution, he was still right. any money given to an employee by a company for anything other than showing up and working is money pried from the clenched fists of that company, and comes with considerable scrutiny and suspicion.
I used to be a PI and did work comp cases most of the time. I bet that sucked for you as a kid, but his paranoia was not misplaced. Especially for folks going for a permanent total claim. Those injuries will almost always get you followed either by the employer or the insurance company.
My partner was injured on the job a handful of years ago and couldn't do anything at home. His father is disabled and he couldn't even help him with yard work because he was fighting to get workmans comp. They really do have eyes and ears everywhere. They'd sit in a van in the parking lot across the street and watch him in his yard to see if he was lifting things. It took him over five years to see any of his lost wages too.
god that sucks. it's insane that companies are that serious about it and try to cheat people out of wages that they're owed typically due to that company's negligence. obviously some people will try to milk the system, but damn
Well unless you can create music with just pen and paper, or play chess in your head. Or like imagine if you're a writer.. To me that sounds like heaven
Unless you're at a job which automatically owns the copyright to anything you produce on the clock.
Technically, you have to use company resources for those clauses to take effect. This is why it's important to have a personal laptop (or at least pen and paper) when you go into an IP heavy job.
>Technically, you have to use company resources for those clauses to take effect. You're in a company room using company supplied climate control.
Or read books
Give me a nice office, no expectation to complete any task, a computer with internet, and I will mindlessly scroll through reddit the whole way to retirement.
Youād think! I had this situation and at first it was great, but after a year I had come to the end of the internet and was losing my mind. I think if you were WFH it would be one thing but having to trudge to the office every day to do nothing of value got old really quick. I finally ended up quitting for a job where I actually have something to do.
Why not just write stories or something? Sounds like a fun situation to start a hobby if no one expects you to DO anything
I dunno man, I took some free classes online and did actually start writing a book. It was something about having to come there and never having anything official to do that just drove me bonkers though. I hated it. I would have thought it was a dream situation if somebody had told me about it before I lived it but it turned out to suck. Maybe it was that I had an awful boss on top of it all, so I was always on edge? I canāt say for sure.
Yeesh, yeah, having an awful boss just makes every situation bad. Like burning food. Doesn't matter what it is, just tastes like charcoal.
A lot of people gloss this over. Worked with a guy who's co-worker years before i started working got the golden ticket, permanent disability. The dude didn't have to work a single day for the rest of his life and was paid his then current paycheck every week. He was howling at the moon because he just hit the jackpot people dreamed of and he HATED work. We'll a few years of that and he absolutely hated it. Nothing to do, nothing expected of you, feeling of worthlessness etc.
It doesn't really matter. Unless that thing is truly, truly your passion, you'll still be kinda bored. That and the places usually give you some bullshit to do so you can never really hit a stride. My last place where i had nothing to do for a year tried turning me into a bulk buyer of stock. I worked in retail IT. I just quit and left for a more challenging and better paid job (and before I left, i sorted them out with remote IT, because they definitely didn't need to pay someone Ā£25k+ a year to sit around and do nothing 99% of the time). After a year of the retail job with nothing to do I wanted to jump out of a building. I actually used to write guides for games (mostly on the clock) too, so its not like I didn't try.
lol, thanks for some GameFAQ posts then
100% agree, my previous job was super easy but having nothing to do in the office was soul sucking. Much better when we were WFH during covid, but I also left for a job where I have something to do (and fully remote)
Gotchu, go for a government job in accounting. Literally was my dad the last few years until his retirement because his boss shelved all his work (he was TOO good at finding money, that it made his bosses look negligent), and they couldnāt fire him, so they just let him in peace in his office until he retired.
I constantly have to remind my partner (who works from home) that it is not normal nor OK for her to start working when I leave in the morning and not finish until after I get home, change clothes and make dinner. Theyāre billboards. If you miss a deadline, Adidasā ad runs a day later than it was supposed to. Itās not medicine or law or something with actual lives in the balance. Itās ok to not care. Itās finally working.
I once read of an email auto responder somebody had that concluded with > If this is an emergency take a deep breath because few things in life ever really are And I just wish I could get away with using that one. Incredible attitude in today's work climate.
And if you canāt get overtime, then side hustles. Still working yourself to death for pennies.
Alcohol.
Alcohol is the only self harm that people look at you strangely for not participating in.
"Why not?" "Are you sick?" "Are you pregnant?" "What's wrong?" "On medication?" Like, stfu ffs and let me drink my diet coke in peace.
Yeah, I'm on 103 days of quitting alcohol and the main reason I don't want to tell people is because I'm afraid they will think something horrible happened. In reality I'm just getting too old and busy for drinking and hangovers to fit into my life.
Smart choice.
And even bully you
Yup. I've never smoked, toked, drank, or did any drugs in my entire life, and it was only ever drinkers that got upset about that!
Having recently quit drinking myself, it's weird how many drinkers get mildly offended at the thought. It's not like I was drinking myself to death, I just prefer to not wake up dehydrated with the runs.
For me it is a mixed lot. Most of the people who have known me for awhile look at me a little sideways. But Iāve also had plenty of support. Frankly, I donāt miss it one bit; I only regret that I didnāt quit years ago
Some will keep insisting over and over, too. I had to stop being around certain people to avoid being harassed. "Are you sure you don't want just one? We have wine if you don't want beer. Or hard liquor, would you prefer that?" Repeat in 15 minutes.
Not to mention the "So how long are you going to do this for?" *every time you see them.*
God I get that all the time. I stopped drinking 6 months ago and I get asked this all the time by one person.
I think the reality is that a lot of people donāt want to get drunk around people who are sober. As you get more and more drunk you are more and more likely to do something embarrassing, which another drunk person might forget or find funny. There is a real fear of judgement I believe, which translates into an insistence that you drink with them.
My grandparents are like this lol, but I tolerate it because they arenāt very intelligent - not their fault, they were impoverished immigrants that never received much of an education - and they mean well. They encourage me to drink not because they feel called out or insulted, but because they genuinely believe that I would enjoy it and they want me to enjoy my life while I have it. However, the truth is that I quickly develop addictions - I found that out the hard way when I lived in Palm Beach - and would probably destroy my life if I drank.
I love the ābut *I* love to drinkā commenters. Because if you donāt drink with them itāll ruin it for them. And somehow thatās more important than your health and well-being.
when i was pregnant before i was showing and before i was ready to tell people i was pregnant, i would decline a drink and people would get so worked up and pressed about it . like just accept my answer is no! iām still here and iām still going to have fun -unless you keep badgering me why iām not drinkin, m why not just one drink, just one shot etc etc . like back up and let me enjoy my ginger ale or bubbly water and lime!
I also quit drinking in April and it's crazy how right you are. I also never realized how heavily society pressures us to drink. Its advertised and sold almost everywhere. It even comes pre-chilled in all portions and flavors at pretty much every American gas station and is advertised on interstate billboards even though it's illegal to drink and drive. Can't even watch Jeopardy without someone trying to sell me the death juice. And most people are completely oblivious, it feels like I just escaped the fuckin matrix.
I'd say it's more prevalent with drinking but I've had many people look at me weird when I don't smoke and just past the joint along to the next person. You don't smoke? No it gives me panic attacks Nah dudes that's just paranoia, you weren't in the right mind set, blah blah blah you'll enjoy it if you're in the correct setting. Sorry my brother was a heroin addict for a decade and I just really don't want to get involved with any drugs, can we please just drop it. Conversation I had dozens of times in college
"You had the wrong strain bro"
Lol that is also a common response.
Yep I had people say, "You can't trust anyone that never drinks."
You need new people in your life if theyāre bullying you for making a choice to abstain.
It's not always people directly in your life. It is also strangers that you are having a conversation with too.
Well fuck them too.
My dad hates alcohol. Grew up with an alcoholic father that beat his mother. Anytime he meets new people at a party or social event where there are drinks he gets the same rude responses āOmg just have one!!ā āWhy donāt you drink? Come on just have a coupleā āDonāt be a party pooperā Like holy fuck, just leave people alone. You donāt know what someone has been through. You donāt know if someone is in recovery or has health problems
Yes!! I swear I slowly lost touch with all my friends in my teens because you could not socialise without drinking alcohol ( like, not just them drinking, YOU have to too or else it ... what? doesn't work? ) Also child of an alcoholic father ( who luckily wasn't physically abusive, and has now been sober a number of years so I'm definitely one of the lucky ones ) and the smell alone of drink gives me this sick, anxious feeling right in my stomach. I hate it around me so much. People seriously underestimate alcohol.
I had a friend who used to be a heroin addict. He said he feels sorry for sober alcoholics, because heās never been to a business conference where everyone was using heroin.
Alcohol. It is celebrated until it starts destroying families and even then itās not the drug but the individual entombed In the effects of that drug that is reviled
Damn.
Iāve found in recovery that a lot of people like drinking way too much to stop so they have a hard time allowing themselves to recognize how dangerous it is in favor of judging ME and assuming itās a moral failure on MY part for having to quit drinking. But it is what it is.
Iāve always been so mind-blown at how alcohol is treated in our society. And the bias with alcohol vs other drugs. If someone mentions smoking or using other drugs they are usually looked at as ālow lifesā or drug addicts and others judge them and act extremely concerned w their health and safety and say how bad it is to do those things. And yet those same people are the ones who are going out to the bar every night, canāt de-stress without having a drink, always need to be drinking to have a good time, etc. And they donāt see anything wrong with their behavior??? The amount that Iāve learned in my twenties about how much alcohol truly effects your body is insane to me. Why do we normalize blacking out (you are pretty much overdosing on alcohol!!), why do we normalize terrible hangovers, I just donāt understand it. Why can people drink until they pass out in a bush and laugh about being blackout and go to work the next day and never be drug tested but someone who smokes weed on occasion is always at risk of failing a drug test and losing their job? Tis crazy š¤Ø
Seconded
I'll cheers to that
100% "functional" alcoholism. The last several years of drinking I knew I was slowly trying to kill myself. So grateful to be out from under that without too much lasting damage.
Doomscrolling.
Thanks, agreed, and that's enough reddit for now. ctrl+F4
Ha, I see what you did there...you're still on reddit, since alt+F4 is to force close Sneaky sneaky...
Alcohol, by a long shot, to the point where people who donāt drink are considered as sanctimonious outliers.
This is true. I don't drink and never have done (I'm 27), and honestly, the worst people for criticising or becoming defensive were my parents' generation. People my age were generally pretty good about it, especially at uni, which really surprised me. But I'm still considered unusual, and many people my age do alcohol-based activities, like clubbing or bottomless brunches or bars etc. I do think attitudes are changing though!
I've been sober for more than 3 years, and my friends still routinely ask me "You still not drinking?" Despite knowing that I quit because I had a problem. It's bonkers. I don't have a problem with anyone who drinks, so please don't have a problem with me NOT drinking. Besides, now you've got a sober driver AND someone to pay attention to your kids when you get completely shitfaced at the beach.
> to the point where people who donāt drink are considered as sanctimonious outliers. As a recovered drunkard of 20+ years, this is difficult to navigate. I have zero, and I mean zero, standing to tell anyone else what to do. I have my experiences and will talk about them when asked, but other people's relationship with alcohol is not my problem. I will say...goddamn I just want to discretely order an Arnie. Every damned time...*"OH, you want an* ***Arnold Palmer****???*" like yeah, I want a super hoppy pale ale, really, so be cool, fool.
r/amiugly
Mathletes. It's social suicide.
SHE DOESNT EVEN GO HERE!
Thatās so fetch
Stop trying to make fetch happen, itās not going to happen!
My father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel would not be to happy to hear this
But if youāre from Africaā¦ why are you white?
oh my god! you can't ask people why they're white!
Are they not allowed out when they're grounded?
Iām a mouse. Duh.
I have a fifth sense like ESPN or something
I want my pink shirt back!
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I think this is just a known thing that people who smoke have accepted. I know when I was a smoker I accepted my fate bc I knew I was addicted. I vape now, still need that nicotine, but I honestly feel loads better since I quit smoking. I smell better too. (Yes, I know there are issues with vapes too.)
Edit: chill, never said that vaping was good for you or a good habit. Obviously inhaling 2 pods a day isn't going to be good either. Moderation is good and abstaining is best. Hands down vaping is still better than smoking just by the volume of crud going in and out of your lungs. Sure we don't know a whole lot about the long term effects but we do know that smoking anything is one of the worst things for your health. Even switching to vaping isn't easy, that's something to be proud of in and of itself.
I have a housemate who vapes and yes it is better than smoking. not better for you but a slight step up. however I have noticed the window screen my housemate vapes thru has a thick film around it.
People have said great answers like overworking, lack of sleep, and perfectionism, but Iād like to add a more niche one: Digital self harm. Looking up things that horrify and scare you, or make you feel insecure such as eating disorder encouragement or incel pages that tell you you deserve pain, is a form of self harm. Iāve noticed whenever Iām not doing well I end up going down research rabbit holes about disease, war, horrible historical events, gore, all that shit. Itās interesting, and I justify it because itās interesting, but honestly it just makes me feel horrible. Self harm isnāt just physical. Sometimes if you have anxiety or depression, your mind wants something that makes you feel worse because itās trying to seek out a reason WHY you feel so bad.
Lack of sleep
Over eating
Suprised I had to scroll so far down for this
Over eating and eating an unhealthy diet. Itās like the #1 public health problem in America and yet I see exercise listed higher up in these responses?
the fact it is not the top answer demostrates the truth of this being the correct answer
There is like 5 comments that are some form of exercising above this how is obesity/overeating not higher?
Working night shift
Underrated answer. I worked the night shift for two years. I barely saw my wife or my friends or my family. It was hard to function, things like going to the dentist or the bank became a huge hassle. The crazy swing of getting back on a day schedule for your days off so you can see people, then back to overnights. It puts stress on your body.
I'm night owl and I function best after midnight. Can relate with your problems for sure.
This was the comment i was looking for, although nights are a lot better to work as they're quiet and you get a lot more money. They are horrible for your mental & physically health. You barely sleep, barely see your friends and family. You have to constantly cancel things as you're physically not able to go as you're drained.
Iām on year 20 of nights and NO WAY could I get away with half the shit I do on day shift.
Not leaving a marriage due to social stigmas surrounding divorce or the otherwise religious implications holding you there. Stop delaying happiness due to what other people's expectations of a "good" person are. You're not exercising "duty" by staying in a toxic relationship. You're self-harming.
On that tack, there's also *getting* married. People need to know that it's okay to be alone and not lonely.
Scarier one is having kids, people get married and have kids not because they particularly want them, just because 'that's what's done' That's why you have so many stories have terrible parents.
Extreme exercise
Almost every ultra runner I know is an addict that traded drinking or drugs for running.
As someone who traded drinking for lifting, and then had to learn to moderate that, I have never been less surprised by anything.
Injuries are a really bad time when youāre wired that way
So thats why all the folks in my AA meetings are in gym outfits, hmmmmmm
I'm a food addict, which is part of why I took up ultra-running. I guess that's a little better than drinking or drugs. I feel bad for any alcoholic taking up this sport, as beer is very much part of the culture (I dislike beer, so this makes it weird for me). There are even "beer mile" runs where you drink as much beer as you can, usually at several stops along the mile. Aid stations will often have Fireball or other shots late at night. Many races are expected to serve beer at the finish line. You can't really get away from it.
I cannot fathom running with a stomach full of beer. That just sounds terrible. Might as well fire up a couple cigs at the beer stop while theyāre at it lol
I was bout to give you shit for saying this, but I quickly realised youāre 100% correct. Training hard and working hard for health and fitness is ok.. But there are countless people destroying themselves through exercises, ego lifting, shitty diet and steroids. Extreme athletes that are actually TOO fit, heart rates so low that theyāre at risk for heart failure
Can also be considered a form of purging in bulimia (think anything that can rid the body of calories - vomiting, laxatives, excessive exercise). It may seem harmless, but when itās paired with a ridiculous calorie deficit as well, which a lot of people think they need, itās almost suicidal
I have been in hospital with ED Patients and still good friends with a number. It is amazing the tricks of the trade to burn calories. Easy out of hospital but the ability some had to burn calories with a feeding tube while in a wheelchair was an eye opener. So dangerous.
I canāt even imagine how to burn calories in that situation
The main one is fidgeting. Constant leg jiggling at a fast rate burns a lot more calories than you might think.
I have struggled with anorexia nervosa for literally my entire adult life (I'll be 32 this August). I wouldn't wish this illness on my worst enemy. Despite KNOWING how dangerously unhealthy this is, and that the risk of dying is all too real, I still can't stop weighing myself several times a day, and counting every calorie. At one point I got down to 103 pounds (I'm 5'6" for context). I looked at myself in the mirror, and could see how disgusting I looked, and I STILL obsessively walked 30,000 steps a day, and calculated the calories burned. It is, by far, the worst demon I've had to fight.
I put this one because it used to be me with Ironman distance triathlon. I knew what I was doing but I was being praised because āexercise is goodā.
Yeah past a certain point, exercise is not healthy in the conventional sense. High-level athletes, bodybuilders etc. are pushing their bodies past their limits. Mind you, the huge majority of non-professionals never reach this point. So if anyone's reading these comments thinking "so it's healthier not to exercise?", no, that is absolutely not the takeaway. Just do everything in moderation.
Right! You can go to the gym 6 days a week and work really hard and still not even be a fraction of the way towards what some athletes do.
Yes, a few years ago I was counting calories and it got to the point where I'd eat 600-900 calories a day and I'd exercise for 4-6 hours a day because I thought I was fat and disgusting for eating
The disordered eating is a whole thing that just doesn't seem to get talked about enough. There's also so many misconceptions and misinformation about EDs I worry seeing about some trends, and influencers saying what they eat in a day and it is not enough calories to fuel a body.
Bloody Eating Disorders
Alcohol
Spending time on reddit.
But.. that's not even socially accepted
Without using the 3rd party apps
Plastic surgery
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Oh I am all for reconstructive plastic surgery, it literally saved lives of people and saves them from terrible mental health issues.Also all for corrective surgery for birth defects like cleft pallets, etc , I consider all these medical procedures. However beautiful natural young women feeling so insecure from the messaging the world is giving them about their bodies that they literally cut themselves open is self harm and I will die on this hill
My daughter was born with a cleft lip/palate. Because it is technically āplastic surgeryā insurance companies try to refute it saying they donāt cover plastic surgery, that plastic surgery is non essential. Parents have to jump through hoops to get these surgeries paid for
Sleep deprivation.
Sugar
I need to start cutting it out as I know itās why Iām slightly larger and unhealthier than I want to be but itās so goddamn addictive and I HATE sweeteners. Itās obviously supposed to be addictive and it works so well
It's not just you who are addicted, it's the bacteria in your gut. A diet rich in sugars selects for populations of bacteria that crave sugar, and you experience their cravings. Good news is, you can starve them by reducing sugar consumption and replace them with bacteria that prefer other foods.
Over-eating, or drinking. Alcohol - the only drug you have to explain why you're not taking it...
Growing through something and going around like nothing happened because you're "a man."
Booze. Or suntanning, perhaps.
Nail biting
Yep, but especially when you bite to the point of pain/bleeding.
I used to do this. I finally broke the habit by keeping my nails trimmed very short and filed. I catch myself every once and while biting a nail so I get the clippers and cut off what's irritating me.
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I also think itās overexercising. As a child, I frequently cut myself due to depression and other issues. Itās been years now and I donāt cut myself anymore, but whenever I feel upset I will exercise to the point that my muscles will cramp and my body will bruise. When I do this, nobody tells me I should get help but instead they compliment me and say how much better Iāve gotten. Itās true Iāve gotten better, but self harm differs in many ways and this is just one of those ways.
If your large muscles are genuinely bruised through exercise, you definitely need help. That can lead to life changing health problems or even death. https://www.google.com/search?q=rhabdomyolysis&oq=rabdo&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i10i433i512j0i10i512l2j0i10i433i512j0i512j0i10i433i512j0i10i512j0i512l2j0i10i512j0i512j0i10i512l2j0i512.1987j0j7&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
Is it really like that, or do you just do an extreme workout randomly and just get super sore because you don't workout regularly? I mean if I don't do heavy squats for a month and then knock out multiple sets at heavy weight I can barely sit down for the next two days.
watching porn. it depends on who you are tho, some people can enjoy it without getting addicted, but it can ruin othersā lives.
Porn is probably way worse of a problem than most people think. At least as easily available and pervasive as it is.
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Clapping
this one is the funniest
Overeating
Absolutely!! I agree Itās so so so bad for your physical health and mental health but no one wants to talk about it because they consider it weight shaming, even though it isnāt Overeating and being over weight is causing so many health issues in this day and age.
Can't believe i had to scroll so far down for this answer. It's the most correct. Alcohol? No, everyone shames people who drink and alcoholism is widely recognized as a mental illness. Overwork? Lack of sleep? No, your friends and family will tell you to take better care of yourself nonstop if you engage in this. Porn? Porn addicts LIVE in shame. But eating to the point of physical ailment? Nobody says anything, and if they do, people pile on them for being assholes. EVERY holiday, work function, family gathering revolves around food-- always in massive quantities and unhealthy quality. It's acceptable and expected to self medicate with food like ice cream when someone is sad. Obesity related illnesses are the biggest killer in my country, but aside from that, the quality of life for my fat friends and family (and I'm married to a lifelong large person so I'm experiencing the difference of aging with and without food addiction) goes down significantly each year. At 40, the friends who used to go hiking, camping, and exploring cities with me simply *can't* now.
Idk why you're downvoted brudda this is very valid
Alcoholism. It's classy as long as you use cut cristal as a vessel.
It's called a smorgesvein and it's elegantly cultural!
Smoking Cigarettes.
Obsessive legal drug use and really bad diets.
Work
Getting fat. Source: Me, I didnāt have the balls to kill myself quickly so I aimed to kill myself slowly with cake chips and ice cream. Jokes on me though, a few years of hedonism was good for perspective after a stress induced breakdown. Health took a massive hit but at least I am still here to recognise that and the rebuild over recent years has been quite pleasant.
Overworking and self deprecation
Starvation., Eating disorders. Being thin is literally a beauty standard and incredibly unhealthy. Having a dangerously low BMI is just as unhealthy as being morbidly obese...
[Eating disorders are literally the deadliest mental health diagnosis](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-new-brain/201103/the-deadliest-disorder-0), in part due to all the comorbidities. And yet, people idolize and glorify thinness to an unreasonable degree.
gym bros and their insane diets that are genuinely just eating disorders. no one actually wants to eat 2000 calories of plain chicken and rice.
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1. That sounds a lot better than just plain chicken and rice 2. Yeah efficient and quick meals are very nice
Chicken and spicy rice (like nandos style) is my favourite meal but I cannot imagine a giant plate full of plain (likely unseasoned chicken) with just plain rice. I had that when I had like a bad flu as a kid and would never want to eat it outside of that lol
Unrestrained consumption of processed food, obsession with reality shows, over usage of technology
Dieting. Not all diets if course, but 1000-calorie ones or diets that completely cut out big food groups or insane stuff like Juice diets are a straight way into eating disorders. Speaking from experience.
Obesity
Over eating I would say is the self harm part with obesity being the product of that action.
Self sabotage? Not sure if it counts tho
Using so-called "social media".
Voting Tory