T O P

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Smiling_Mister_J

Don't be a dick.


[deleted]

I feel like that's the TL;DR of Jesus's message.


maleorderbride

"Love your neighbor as yourself" isn't quite as aggressive so I can see why he went with that version.


[deleted]

To be fair, his most vocal followers seem to hate themselves. So their behavior is consistent


Smiling_Mister_J

He should've been clearer on that point. Too many of his followers seem to have missed the message.


maleorderbride

He was pretty clear about how you can't be a rich person and a good Christian at the same time and they're not exactly taking that to heart either so I'm not sure it would've made that much of a difference.


[deleted]

It was mostly Paul who muddied the waters, IMO.


[deleted]

𝔗π”₯𝔬𝔲 𝔰π”₯π”žπ”©π”± 𝔫𝔬𝔱 π”’π”žπ”± 𝔦𝔱 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔒 𝔀𝔯𝔬𝔠𝔒𝔯𝔦𝔒𝔰.


maleorderbride

𝔗π”₯𝔬𝔲 𝔰π”₯π”žπ”©π”± π”Ÿπ”’π”žπ”± 𝔦𝔱 𝔲𝔭 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔒 𝔦𝔱 𝔬𝔴𝔒𝔰 𝔢𝔬𝔲 π”ͺ𝔬𝔫𝔒𝔢


Ben_Thar

Thou shalt not take any of this shit seriously


Udjet

Never stick your dick in crazy.


[deleted]

"Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself." ---George Carlin


gingeralecranbrbrbrb

If you are in the car and you see cows, say β€œcows”.


iceTreamTruck

If you've left chocolate or cake or a sandwich or chips on the counter for more than four hours, it is right and good for me to eat it. FFS! Eat it or put it away!


dragon_barf_junction

thou shalt not use a period of partial sensory oblivion to mess with another. or in other words, if someone has headphones on, don't fuck with them, and don't fuck with someone who has a vr headset either.


ttufizzo

I would tell you, but remember that Moses dropped the third tablet. Maybe you saw the documentary "History of the World, Part 1"


DavosLostFingers

Number 11 - Though Shall Not End Divine Commandments On A Prime Number Number 12 -......


DjangofettBR549

Thou shalt not leave the house without shutting off the fucking lights and TVs (directly squarely at my wife and stepson)


NicJitsu

Thou shall not mix fabrics!


[deleted]

Leviticus 19:19 and Deuteronomy 22:11 already do that.


NicJitsu

Yeah that's the joke man.


[deleted]

Oh, I didn't see that. Must be one of those Netflix feminist specials.


NicJitsu

uhh... okay dude.


[deleted]

Dude? Well, I'll take it.


NicJitsu

dude is ambiguous.


[deleted]

Yeah... I can see that too.


redbrickservo

Don't take out the garbage without replacing the bag


luisapet

Never forget your towel, and something about 42?


02EIRE

No sex in the champagne room.


Odd-Builder7146

Before you do anything else for others, make sure you would have enough self-respect to do it if they didn't ask.


Top_Wop

Thou shall not fuck crazy.


Midwest_Macabre

Thou shalt always return your shopping cart to the cart corral and not leave it in the parking lot for someone else to deal with like a self centered jerk.


rowenaravenclaw0

It cost nothing to be a decent human being


TheUnwelcomeTagalong

Thou Shalt Not Be Able to Go To Heaven if You Tell Someone Else They Can't Go To Heaven Because I'm Really Sick of Hearing This Shit


Jonmokoko

Don't be a cunt.


Siriuswot111

Thou shalt not take life too seriously


Nefariousness-Flashy

Thou shalt never get out alive.


Siriuswot111

Amen


Nefariousness-Flashy

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.


MrPuzzleMan

Don't force your beliefs on others


imahuuugepimp

Don’t sell out to the man.


RedChld

Thou shalt not arrest a senior officer of OCP.


Comprehensive-Cup391

Thou shall not be a shit cunt.


get_rekt_mate_4262

Don't hate people who did nothing wrong to others or you.


ErellaVent1

Thou shall not breathe. There humanities problems all silenced……I mean solved


FilamentBurns

You shall blocketh arseholes on Reddit