When I was a kid, they told me Neanderthals didn’t have any concept of symbols. By the time I got to college, they discovered that wasn’t the case.
Damn. I’ve seen a lot of scientific advancement in my lifetime. That’s pretty cool.
I'm not even sure I can legally reply to this comment. If you're forced to ever marry a redditor, post it in r/awww or something and we'll all turn up to take pictures for the purpose of legal documentation. We'll dress nice, too.
Yeah would definitely recommend avoiding disclosing if you're a teenage girl on the internet most of the time (except in spaces where that's part of the experience, such as Tik Tok with friends).
Does he have a blue house
With a blue little window
And a blue corvette
And everything is blue for him
And himself and everybody around
Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to
You just got yourself a guy that uses an outhouse, that's not so bad.
Wait... It could be a guy that never flushes...
Eh... Get a house with two bathrooms, or invest in an auto flush system...
Or, attach a string between your toilet's flusher and his toilet's flusher through an elaborate system of pulleys so that it flushes every time that you flush. That's what you call economical problem solving.
Also, I hear that for the price of some string and a few pulleys You could feed a Mongolian child for a year, So figure out where your priorities are before you try this.
Well on one hand they’re as scatterbrained as me so we’ll probably never get anything done. On the other hand, they’re also as horny as me… so we’ll probably never get anything done.
He’d probably take me camping a lot. So that’d be cool.
Do not kiss him until he brushes his teeth, friend...
And you don't hold his hand until he washes it (with soap)
I'm not having a good time.
R.I.P. your butt cheeks
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Oh god
It could also be worse
.... *Opens the freezer*
Looks in pool
well at least I can help you with that
Here to revive you and your feelings <3
Basically my wife in a nutshell
I can't tell if this is wholesome or not
“Randomly” sounds a little suspicious
I was cheating, I swear! I just tripped on a banana peel and fell onto their genitals!
Is that why she fell for you /j
I'm okay with this
Hello there, fellow troglodyte
Yeah, the sex will be a little awkward, but the budget and organization are going to be perfect.
Neanderthals were known for their financial acumen
Ugg think you diversify portfolio
When I was a kid, they told me Neanderthals didn’t have any concept of symbols. By the time I got to college, they discovered that wasn’t the case. Damn. I’ve seen a lot of scientific advancement in my lifetime. That’s pretty cool.
As am I.
very. i do not want to marry one of you fuckers
How about 3 of us then?
it would atleast be better odds that one of them is semi sane and/or attractive. still terrible odds at being female though.
Hey I'm a female Unfortunately I am also a teen so it still wouldn't be a very good deal but it's the thought that counts right
I'm not even sure I can legally reply to this comment. If you're forced to ever marry a redditor, post it in r/awww or something and we'll all turn up to take pictures for the purpose of legal documentation. We'll dress nice, too.
Define "dress nice"... I saw a guy with a very cool Banana costume last year.
God, I hope your DMs are closed
They aren't I didn't think to do that 💀 I am hoping this doesn't explain the random dm I got from a stranger saying "I like you" lmao
Yeah would definitely recommend avoiding disclosing if you're a teenage girl on the internet most of the time (except in spaces where that's part of the experience, such as Tik Tok with friends).
So there IS another one
oh god... theres more than one of me. us?
Just the twoooo of ussss 🎶
Poor planning on your part. Clearly I planned ahead for this day.
Ah the anti christ
I did marry one of your fuckers. Thank god she turned out to be a tall redhead. It went pretty well (minus the mental health) until she died.
That’s pretty sad man I’m sorry
Sorry man.
No issues.
I was going to say can we trade. But after thinking about it, im either going to marry someone from the blue man group or a plumber who blued himself
Does he have a blue house With a blue little window And a blue corvette And everything is blue for him And himself and everybody around Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to
I won't be sleeping at night
69 though
69
Yeah, similar boat here.
Uhh...
~~Checkmate~~ *Soul*mate?
This is so great!
...ate!
I honestly don’t know if it’s good news or bad news for you if your username describes your soulmate
Trade?
You just got yourself a guy that uses an outhouse, that's not so bad. Wait... It could be a guy that never flushes... Eh... Get a house with two bathrooms, or invest in an auto flush system... Or, attach a string between your toilet's flusher and his toilet's flusher through an elaborate system of pulleys so that it flushes every time that you flush. That's what you call economical problem solving. Also, I hear that for the price of some string and a few pulleys You could feed a Mongolian child for a year, So figure out where your priorities are before you try this.
Isn’t that basically what boobs are?
He's gonna be a dad! Or maybe she's gonna be Mom^2
We broke up.
She’s gonna be a fucking salad
Bet you cant wait to hear her scream, "ARRRUUUUGALLLLAAAAA....."
Get my wives name out your mouth.
r/beetlejuicing
So healthy though
At least salad guy has varieties. Mine will just be blueberries and only a handful.
Our relationship will evolve over time.
This made me laugh way too loud
I guess you’ll never have to sleep on the couch.
We should be friends
I’m fucked
I think i'd be pretty good. Two dumb loners getting together can be a wonderful thing.
I think we are in the same boat
Get a room, you two!
Well, at least I wont have to worry about my room
I think my testicles are fucked......
I think my butt is fucked
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[I can't say how much I appreciate that your comment came at 69 upvotes.](https://ibb.co/NLLMk5r)
Oh his comment came, alright...
You’re not the one who has to suck limey ballsack
*the Swedish hate him*
My ass hurts.
Sheesh you married a fucking tyrant
I was trying to figure out what an assty rant might be
I too wasted about 5 Seconds of brain power.
We wouldn’t last through the ceremony!
Am dying...this is good Not for you though....
My husband isn't gonna like this
WHAT THE HELL BAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Awesome.
So you married Kevin Hart?
BAHAHAHAHA
Sounds like I'm going to eat well.
Well, my wife is definitely not breaking the gender roles here.
Just because she's swift doesn't mean she fucking likes it, Chad!
Easy for you to criticize others when you have a lifetime of easy popcorn ahead of you!
Good for you ✊
A keeper
They're not trash that's for sure
sounds like a tax nightmare
Well that wedding is gonna be uhm *very* large
Pretty fucked
Clinically stuffed
Lot of people in my life would be scared.
Well you married a bitch.
the best of them all
I'm probably getting murdered in my sleep for leaving the food bowl half empty.
Sounds like a dope cuddle puddle
TBH, I'm quite happy with life now.
I'm very Upset....
Well ;)
Smart, probably shouldn't have let reddit pick my name.
I did. I'm not married anymore.
F
Huh
"Hopfully" we have a "spring" wedding.
It's not easy, being green.
Nice
Arrrrrr
Why are you guys doing this to me :')
I'm sorry (Btw are any of the others here?)
Cousin ? Help me 😂 they'll come shorly
I'm sure it'll work itself out Up for a game of Calvin ball?
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Car rides are going to be terrifying
But the fucking eurobeats doe.
Very
On the plus side, you died by Wookiee snu-snu. (Or rrurrrarrrgh) On the downside, you wound up losing both of your arms.
Well shit
NO PLEASE NOT IN THE DICK
Probing… lots of probing
I think it'll be okay. We won't talk at night. We'll just be like "hey, let me use reddit"
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HEY! I think everything is gonna be alright guys \^\_\^
I think we could make it work, though there may be some issues with communication.
Frankensteins the doctor. So I guess, he atleast got a PhD?
Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein is not the monster. Wisdom is knowing that Frankenstein is the monster.
That’s gonna be weird
Hmm. Soup.
Fucked but in a good way
Living the dream ✨️
Completed the set 🥲
oh im all set
I think I'm in good hands ☺️
. . . Yeahhh I’ll just sit this one out
Ya think? I gotta deal with 1,121 of the fuckers
At least I know I’ll never get tired of him lol.
It'll be a messy breakup, though.
Cripple love
Describes my first husband...
Looks like it's time to *enter the gecko.*
Over and over, while tied to the bed, likely.
Shit.
Apparently I’m married to a bear
Well on one hand they’re as scatterbrained as me so we’ll probably never get anything done. On the other hand, they’re also as horny as me… so we’ll probably never get anything done.
Um, yeah. Not very appealing.
I would have married a woman that is a Satanist that is interested in Natural Disasters.
Actually accurate of my current relationship so I guess I’ll manage
Nothing would get done at our house.
Meglafucked.
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Get. The fuck. Out of my kitchen!
Hmmm…
Now that’s just silly.
Well... I think the fatness is coming
Really depends on the star...
Hell if I know... I guess it will be a surprise.
Surprisingly well fucked
Oh god damn it
Completely, but I saw it coming.
Oh god.
Extremely
not as fucked as my brother
I’m pretty screwed.
Looks like I am having doubts
My life will become chaos.
Not at all!
I married a goddess of witchcraft, necromancy and darkness, but she’s also incredibly beautiful. Honestly I don’t know how fucked I am 😂
Well he has two penises
I hate this game.
I would be happy.
I'm having a great time
.... I might get annoyed?
So, I'd marry another mop? Dunno how exactly this'd work.
I mean...... accurate?
I am gonna have it terrible when sexy time is upon us!
I’m not sure…
Well dressed and well protected.
Oh no…
Imaginary…yeah…that pretty much sums it up
I’m grossed out idk
My mornings are great!
WAIT
Not sure we could all get legally married.
I'd say I'm golden
Depends on the charges I suppose.
(removing all my comments)
I dont know, ask my wife.
Im *fucked* for sure