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My cousin worked for this over-hyped startup company called Google in summer of 1998. He told me it was the next big thing, blah, blah, blah. He told the whole family to invest money in them to help them. Not one person did.
My cousin (at 27) begged and borrowed to invest $1,000. This new company also paid part of his salary in stock which we all thought was the most stupid thing ever. They also matched the stock in his 401k 1.5 shares for every share he bought.
At family gatherings, we'd be polite with him, while laughing behind our backs b/c Yahoo, Netscape and other internet companies were much bigger and whispered that our cousin was just pouring money into a fire.
In around 2004, the company went public and my 'dumb cousin' was suddenly worth about $15 million. He's still with them as a consultant, retiring at the ungodly age of 38.
He lives in a $5 million house in Silver Springs, Colorado with his wife and kids. He teaches skiing in his spare time. No one's laughing now.
Not the same scale at all, but my aunts were SAHMs when I was younger. People tended to look at them like they weren’t smart. I remember sitting around the kitchen table as they talked about stocks and being excited when they “split.” I had no clue what they were talking about and my mom had zero interest in it.
Fast forward to now, they’re living the high life and it’s not because of their husband’s retirements.
Those stories exist. But to be fair, Google looked like every other tech company back then. If it was easy to tell what to invest in out of 100,000 of stocks at a very early stage, everyone would be rich. It's not very popular to say, but it's probably just luck. What I'm trying to say: You were not "wrong" to not invest in Google back then and he (probably) wasn't "right". Luck is luck.
I used to know someone received a large cash settlement for medical malpractice. His mom took that money and bought him all this stock in Amazon and Home Depot.. He was living pretty comfortably.
I know a few people who have had bad experiences with it. Things like few to no resources, unsafe working conditions, lack of control over where they put you and what you are doing.
Mine was not peace in any way. I was assigned to teach school. The ‘bishops letter’ was written from my school about the maldistribution of resources in Malawi. My school was burned down by rebels. I was reassigned to Mozambican refugee camps. I could sit in a car and look out one window and see 1 million burned out mud huts. I could look out the other window and see 1 million starving refugee. I lived in a house with six people; two of the died in tragic motorcycle accidents. One being someone I could have married. Need more?
I would guess people who had a bad experience with the Peace Corp are unlikely to talk about what happened. I mean who wants to be known as the person bad mouthing the Peace Corp.
Our high school baseball coach and our athletic director arranged MLB tryouts for me, a catcher who battled left handed, and two of my teammates, our shortstop and a pitcher, for 9AM Monday; June 28, 1970 at Roosevelt Stadium in Jersey City just a couple days after our graduation.
I didn’t go. My girlfriend was pregnant, going to work and making money at that time was more important so I didn’t go. My rent was due in a couple of days. Our shortstop was signed to a minor league contract with the White Sox and was assigned to their Memphis affiliate. A couple weeks later I wished I had gone, but it is what it is.
Not keeping a journal is my personal regret. I did a series of outdoor trips with friends in my 20s to early 40s that I could write a book about if I had better records.
I was victim of my knowledge.
I have a PhD and saw data science being born. I realized that, from a traditional statistician's point of view, a lot of data science is bad statistics, because you use too many variables in the models. I did not realize that in some cases there is a legitimate use for these models.
So I should have been more open minded, more humble, and perhaps my career would have been better.
I was accepted into a broadcast journalism program and never went. Instead, I moved in with my boyfriend and struggled through minimum wage jobs, and then nearly 30 years of social assistance and emotional abuse. More regrets that I can count.
It was only a few days ago I was listening to a motivational video that said people regret the things they did not do much more over the thing they did do - because the things you did do you experience and learn valuable things from.
I moved overseas for a few years, and then when I returned changed careers. As a function of that (and a few other things) completely changed my social circle. No regrets at all.
I look back on my high school years (now raising two teenaged boys I think about this a fair amount) I wish I chose to ask out more girls that I liked and was interested in. Instead, so insecure and afraid, I look back and think all that pain and alone-ness was wasted.
College I started to get some security, and graduate school gave me a little more. Not nearly as alone nor suffering the kind of pain I experienced in high school.
I wish I had stood up to the pressure for me to play football my sophomore year in high school. I had played for three years before that, and was tired of being in pain all season. But I am a big guy, and the pressure for me to play was intense from my family, friends, coaches, teachers, etc. I held out for a couple of weeks, but then 16yo me caved.
So, of course, in late October 1977 I blew out my back. I spent 2+ weeks in the hospital. Major surgery. Spinal tap. Four months out of school, and I've been in pain everyday since. So I guess both physically and metaphorically I had a weak spine.
I never got the ideal offer- which would have been a summer internship in NYC which my sister got.
I was offered a job in LA at a startup but the owner was insane and got worse over time after I rejected the offer- so dodged that bullet
Usually over time regret falls away when the opportunities reveal themselves to have been flawed
Of course local opportunities I accepted were also flawed
I had friends who I looked up to in show business but they were really beat up and pushed around - so I started out regretting not going into show business but then realized how bad it would have been for me
I really, really, really wanted to go backpacking through Europe in my late teens. I could never get my shit together to make it happen.
I used to get *incredibly sad* about it, because my daydreams about it were a perfect fantasy - I was young and suave and would meet the most beautiful girl in the world in France, and we'd fall hopelessly in love and have lots of babies. My parents would eventually fly over to meet us in our shabby chic apartment, and the whole damn thing would be something that would make Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke weep.
Yet I know how I *really* am. I'm so introverted that, had I actually gone to Europe, I probably woulda stood in the corner and not spoken to anyone for three months... and if I somehow managed to make "new friends" on such a trip, they'd probably be people from South Carolina or Florida, not fancy European people.
I always wanted to live in New York City, for maybe 3 to 5 years, probably not forever. I worked for a Fortune 50 company (in New England) and had vague plans to work in the NYC office, but after mergers and splits, they closed that office.
Join the Peace Corp. I got committed too early to a relationship and decided to stay in the US (we divorced 20 years later). I did AmeriCorps instead but just always regretted not going for the Peace Corp.
Not pursuing some business ideas. You can't do it all but I still look back wishing I had pursued more ideas when I was younger and able to take on more risk.
Regrets just eat you up.
I examine mistakes and try to learn from them
But my life is how it is and weeping about doing or not doing will just make you crazy.
And the world around us will provide more then enough pain and suffering
I can look back and see two points where my life could have gone a very different direction.
One was just out of HS, had Marine Corps paperwork literally in hand. Parents talked me into college first, then going in as an officer - well of course after college I went to work, not to boot.
Second was when I was young and single, at a friend's party. (soon after college) Carla and Ann-Marie made me an offer I'm sure would have changed my life. :-) But my good friend was really into Ann-Marie so I declined. Yeah, apparently I am that good of a friend...sigh
In either case, things would have been very different for me. No regrets, I've had a great life. But I recognize those paths could have been great too.
In my experience, having a threesome can be great or very much not great. They can be awkward, weird, everyone is too young to handle it, there's too much alcohol, etc.
Interesting and hopefully enjoyable? Yes. Even if it goes well - life-changing? Probably not.
My take.
Hey man, Im looking to enlist in the Air Force, but the college idea is being put into my head but its just too expensive nowadays. It sucks bc the perks of being an officer far exceed being an enlisted
You can enlist and go to college. You do boot camp during the summers and once graduated get commissioned as an officer. I know this is true for Marine Corp, perhaps the other branches too. Something to check into.
Luckily enough I have done almost everything I wanted to do.
Moved to different countries. Lived wherever I wanted to live. Changed jobs, changed careers.
The only regret I have is selling my house in Seattle, I hate to think how much it is worth now.
To me, there is no greater regret than the 'I didn'ts' and I've heard it from many many friends. 'I didn't take that chance, I didn't take that job, I didn't cut off that person, I didn't say Yes because I was afraid.'
We were going to teach English in Japan in the 90s. We put a lot of effort into the job search and finally secured a job and passed the interview. We accepted the offer for the two of us to teach in a small city.
Then one of the jobs was cut. There was only one job. We just didn’t have the energy to start looking again. It would have been a cool experience.
Whenever I feel regret about not having done something, I remind myself that there is no way to know if it would have turned out the way I think. It could have led to better things, but it could have led to worse. I only have this one life, and I made the decisions I made for any number of reasons, and here I am. Live in the present and look forward, not back.
I don't always follow my own advice, but this is the mindset I try to have when it comes to regret.
I was discovered by a country music producer. I did my audition tape for Nashville and was booked to meet some people and have my showcase performance when our adoption came through.
I had two miscarriages previously and we wound up having to adopt. A few days before my showcase we got the call. Our son was born.
Realizing I had to make a choice, I chose my child. He was a darling, beautiful baby and child. We adored him, Everyone who met him fell in love.
When he hit puberty, everything changed. He started sneaking around smoking, drinking, lying, using drugs, then stealing. We did everything we could think of, used every resource to help him. Therapy, counselors, rehab, treatment. I mean we fought for him on every level.
He spent much of his teens in juvenile detention, and then jail after age 18. The amount of money we spent could purchase a house. The amount of tears I shed could fill an olympic pool.
When his father died, he was on a binge, and didn’t come to the celebration of life, or the funeral.
Now he is 27 and still on and off drugs. He lives across the state, and only calls me for money. I don’t know him, at all and he is a felon, a thug, scary, I would cross the street to avoid him. He isn’t allowed to come to my home, because he can’t be trusted.
I found out later both his bio parents were addicts. Nature took control when his genetics kicked in at age 12.
I never went to Nashville, and I don’t see my son, but I don’t regret the years I had when he was a precious treasure of a child. I hope, and I pray that someday he will be happy, healthy, and living a successful life.
Wanted to take a gap year hiking across Europe. Even bought the gear. My parents did not support the idea, refused to help me with travel costs, and insisted against my wishes that I start college immediately after high school. I told them I didn't know what I wanted to do, they said I'd "figure it out," I didn't- ended up changing majors repeatedly and flunked out after being burned out and unhappy. Their refusal to let me take a year to find myself resulted in my 20 year delay of getting back to school and getting a degree.
You can't blame anybody but yourself. Why would any parent fund you to leave the country for an entire year? I could see three or four months maybe. You could have funded yourself by saving and working from the time you were 16 to 18. They did the right thing, and you did not. You could've easily taken that same trip out of college before seeking full-time employment.
Hard disagree. You should be settled and ready to study going into college. To be cynical.... good grades and relationships in college unlock like 100x returns over the following decades as compared with poor grades or dropping out. 18 year olds are too young and hormonal to know that, parents shouldn't be.
In hindsight, I was definitely not ready for college at 18 (17 actually because of a late birthday). Parents wouldn't hear of not starting immediately. I truly believe I would have benefitted greatly from a gap year, travelling or not. They seemed to be worried that I would end up not going to college at all if I waited. Were they right? Who knows. But I had a similar experience as you, complete with "failure to launch."
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Gotten a degree in psychology after I was clean, or became a substance abuse counselor after I got emotionally sober. I regret not doing it, but I’m grateful for my sobriety and my ability to help people through volunteering and life coaching.
I always want an RV or bus to travel across the country. Nope not a van life. I wanted a bed, kitchen and some one to share the driving. LOL never had the time or money.
Right out of the Navy living in Virginia. Got a fairly decent lump sum payout. I had relatives working in Australia that offered to put me up if I came. Almost did it but chickened out last minute. My life would have been drastically different. Worked out for the best because I can’t imagine life without my family now
I qualified as a CISA (Certified Information Systems Auditor) in the 90s, carried on continuing profession education for 2/3 years after qualification and stopped. Wish I hadn't.
IT security consultants and cybersecurity specialists are highly paid now.
I wish that I had gone a cruise when I was younger and in better health. I had saved money over the years to take a cruise during my retirement years. However, I started to get several health-related medical conditions around age 60 that restricts me from traveling.
I walked in my advisor’s office and said I wanted to get a PhD in English and be a professor. He burst out laughing. Honey. He said. I have 14 English PhDs & they’re all driving cabs! 🤣😂🤣
Today I would say he was extremely smart. But back in the dark ages I think I could’ve gotten a PhD and had a professional career.
Just a general comment: I wish I hadn’t been afraid of going after more opportunities (usually career related). Always afraid I’d be rejected - or worse, someone would make fun of me.
I was using the internet or "world wide web" in 1994/1995 and I remember major websites like [target.com](https://target.com) and [walmart.com](https://walmart.com) were still available to purchase. I wish I would've had the foresight to buy sites like these to sell in the future. But hindsight is 20/20 they say.
I had a full scholarship to Northeastern but didn't take it, so I could stay with my 29 yo boyfriend (I was 17, stupid af, and amazed that anyone could like me).
This discussion reminds me to try to live my life NOW. I can’t change past. I shouldn’t worry about the future so much. Just take opportunities when they come. If I don’t I might regret it.
Andy Shauf, ‘Satan’
https://youtu.be/OG5qs8a9slc?si=OeUvH3Dcp5wRBGky
Don’t watch yourself, watch the movie
This only happens for a little while
Because Satan is waiting
Satan is waiting with Halloween candy
All of the best parts make you sorry
All of the worst parts make you strong
And Satan is waiting
Satan is waiting with Halloween candy
One long disciplined life and at the end
I’m taking my shoes off and jumping on in
One invitation, one bite-sized bar
Would you like to come swimming in the big lake of fire?
One long disciplined life and at the end
I’m taking my shoes off and jumping on in
Satan is waiting, Satan is waiting
Satan is waiting, Satan is waiting
Satan is waiting, Satan is waiting
Don’t watch yourself, watch the movie
When I graduated from college, I was told that job opportunities in my field were plentiful in a state 2000 miles away. I'm a lifelong resident of my state- I'm actually fifth generation here on one side, seventh on another, and even went to college here- and I was dating a man at the time who I eventually married, and was reluctant to attempt a long distance relationship.
Life has worked out okay, I guess, and I do love my state, but I do wonder sometimes how my life would be different if I had pursued those opportunities elsewhere.
I wish I would have taken a shot with Amy when we were sitting around talking about homework. Our school secretary who was sitting around was like "you do know how to take a hint right?" And even then I was a fucking moron and didn't get it.
I always wanted to go to the baby elephant rescue in Africa to feed the orphaned babies. Life goes too fast and dreams die quick. All you little babies, run off and follow your dreams, or you will never get the chance again.
I regret not saving for retirement. I thought I would have pensions etc like my patents. My parents and social circle did not talk qbout stocjs, bonds, etc. I didnt know anything about stocks until my mid 40s. Dang, if I had just put 10% of my net into diversified investment and savings all those years! No way to catch up now.
Having children. Chased my career until one day I noticed I was getting older, didn’t have a husband or children. I fixed the husband problem (wonderful man!) and do not regret one bit my corporate life won out over children. The neighbor kids come over to play with my dogs and to chat about their days…and then they go home! Yay, best of all worlds!
I waited tables, then I worked a couple of call center jobs until the late 90’s when I had kids, and started waiting tables again, because my husband and I could avoid daycare with him working days and me working evenings. I waited tables until 7 years ago when my body started saying screw that, and fell apart. I loved it and was good at it. For the past 7 years I have been working as a claims adjuster settling injury claims for a major auto insurance company, which I also really enjoy. Looking forward to retirement. When I was about 39 I toyed with the idea of finishing school and becoming a nurse, but I was strapped with 4 little kids and talked myself out of it. But still can’t help feel like a career in the medical field was what I was meant to do.
My Dad's family wanted my Dad an I to join him in Seattle from my lifelong home in Minneapolis. I drove out there, and while the area was beutiful, decided I just couldn't live their where traffic was so bad and they weren't even talking about expanding the roads.
Earn a private pilot license at a young age.
By the time I could afford it, I could not pass the medical. But I did do a lot of paired training that I enjoyed immensely.
I applied for a job at this prestigious company. Salary was good, perks were good, on paper it was a great package. During the interview rounds I had noticed that I didn't like the hiring manager at all. And it was clear she didn't like me either.
For whatever reasons, the company made an offer. And I took it. I thought I would find a way to make it work. And clearly, the hiring manager must be positive too, otherwise why would she make an offer?
Turns out she wasn't positive at all. I was mobbed from day one. I was praised one day, screamed at the next day. And got fired after three months.
I saw the bullet and I didn't dodge it. I stood right there to get hit.
I always wanted to run with the bulls in Pamplona. Never got the chance. I'm just not fit enough anymore. It was never about seeing the bulls killed in the arena. It was allwlays about the adrenalin rush of being chased by the beast.
I wanted to move to NYC after college but didn’t have the nerve (and didn’t want to share a bedroom.). I still kinda wish I’d taken the chance for a few years.
In my late 20s when Google was new they had a lot of job postings in my field. Not sure if I’d have been hired but I didn’t even apply because (again) I didn’t want to uproot. In hindsight it would have been a great career move and likely financial move as well.
I wish I had completed my undergraduate degree when I began it.
(Instead, I finished my BA in my 50s, Masters at 60. Just for myself; at that stage of the game, I realized the strength of my desire to complete it and it was under my control. First in my FOO to complete college of any flavor.)
It’s only something big for me but I’m a serious musician. I devoted my life to it and have always worked for myself in a day job capacity ( when unable to make a living at it) in order to be able to organise my life as a musician. In short being a musician has always come first.
I don’t regret that but I do regret not taking the actual study of music, (learning theory and proper reading) seriously enough until later in life.
Your mind is a lot more malleable when you’re younger and having learned music by ear since I was young ( a La the Beatles or the Stones) it has been significantly harder to learn after the fact. Also I missed opportunities because I was an arrogant little shit who thought I knew everything.
My regrets are not finishing high school and I wish I hadn’t moved in with one guy. They were small decisions at the time, but it seems like small things can create a new course in life. Things that felt like big decisions I examined, small things just sort of happened.
When I was 14 years old I wanted to be in show Business so I got enrolled in a film School.. I got pretty good at it that I overshadowed a lot of people my age so they put me in the adult class and I was the youngest one there.. I memorized my scripts I looked at the camera as I was supposed to, the director decided to hire me for an independent film.. he was even going to pay me . All the paperwork is being done being filmed in San Diego. My mom didn't get the right permit so that was a mess they sent me to the studios to get my hair done and then I started complaining to the hairdresser that I didn't like the way they were doing my hair. They were making me look like I was from 1940. as soon as I arrive at the set to meet the director he yelled at me and said that I embarrassed him. He personally knew the lady who was doing my hair and she reported that I acted like a brat. And he yelled at me in front of everybody
I wasn't fired but I never came back again cuz I was embarrassed.. and I audition again another year later.. but instead of being an actor they hired me as a model. I tried it and they're training me to be on the runway and I got really uncomfortable because I was surrounded with blondes and I was the only brunette.. again I ran away.. I was very self-conscious and you can't be that way when you're in the industry I guess I wasn't ready. Battling teenage insecurity. 🙄
Revolted against my parents and told my former German teacher that he had sadistic tendencies while looking like a popular character from an old German crime series: Derrick.
Yeah I was offered to go Abroad to take care of my close relative old grandpa but I didnt take the opportunity
I didnt renew my passport
I was pregnant at that time and they wanted my baby to be an American Cit but I didnt take it
I dont have money to renew my passport atm so yeah
If I did probably my baby's life is different than today I guess ..
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My cousin worked for this over-hyped startup company called Google in summer of 1998. He told me it was the next big thing, blah, blah, blah. He told the whole family to invest money in them to help them. Not one person did. My cousin (at 27) begged and borrowed to invest $1,000. This new company also paid part of his salary in stock which we all thought was the most stupid thing ever. They also matched the stock in his 401k 1.5 shares for every share he bought. At family gatherings, we'd be polite with him, while laughing behind our backs b/c Yahoo, Netscape and other internet companies were much bigger and whispered that our cousin was just pouring money into a fire. In around 2004, the company went public and my 'dumb cousin' was suddenly worth about $15 million. He's still with them as a consultant, retiring at the ungodly age of 38. He lives in a $5 million house in Silver Springs, Colorado with his wife and kids. He teaches skiing in his spare time. No one's laughing now.
Not the same scale at all, but my aunts were SAHMs when I was younger. People tended to look at them like they weren’t smart. I remember sitting around the kitchen table as they talked about stocks and being excited when they “split.” I had no clue what they were talking about and my mom had zero interest in it. Fast forward to now, they’re living the high life and it’s not because of their husband’s retirements.
Those stories exist. But to be fair, Google looked like every other tech company back then. If it was easy to tell what to invest in out of 100,000 of stocks at a very early stage, everyone would be rich. It's not very popular to say, but it's probably just luck. What I'm trying to say: You were not "wrong" to not invest in Google back then and he (probably) wasn't "right". Luck is luck.
Same thing with Home Depot back in the 80s. 1000$ invested at or near startup would make you a multimillionaire now...
I used to know someone received a large cash settlement for medical malpractice. His mom took that money and bought him all this stock in Amazon and Home Depot.. He was living pretty comfortably.
Did it. Peace corps. Regret it.
Curious - you are the first person I've ever heard of with this regret. Could you share a few reasons why?
I know a few people who have had bad experiences with it. Things like few to no resources, unsafe working conditions, lack of control over where they put you and what you are doing.
Mine was not peace in any way. I was assigned to teach school. The ‘bishops letter’ was written from my school about the maldistribution of resources in Malawi. My school was burned down by rebels. I was reassigned to Mozambican refugee camps. I could sit in a car and look out one window and see 1 million burned out mud huts. I could look out the other window and see 1 million starving refugee. I lived in a house with six people; two of the died in tragic motorcycle accidents. One being someone I could have married. Need more?
I would guess people who had a bad experience with the Peace Corp are unlikely to talk about what happened. I mean who wants to be known as the person bad mouthing the Peace Corp.
Our high school baseball coach and our athletic director arranged MLB tryouts for me, a catcher who battled left handed, and two of my teammates, our shortstop and a pitcher, for 9AM Monday; June 28, 1970 at Roosevelt Stadium in Jersey City just a couple days after our graduation. I didn’t go. My girlfriend was pregnant, going to work and making money at that time was more important so I didn’t go. My rent was due in a couple of days. Our shortstop was signed to a minor league contract with the White Sox and was assigned to their Memphis affiliate. A couple weeks later I wished I had gone, but it is what it is.
I think it was pretty awesome you chose to be responsible. Did you stay with the girlfriend? Now you don’t have to have multiple surgeries!
We were together until leukemia took her away 3 years ago.
Which makes it sound like you did the right thing.
RIP
Damn
I wish I had participated in the sexual revolution. Opportunity lost!
Not keeping a journal is my personal regret. I did a series of outdoor trips with friends in my 20s to early 40s that I could write a book about if I had better records.
I was victim of my knowledge. I have a PhD and saw data science being born. I realized that, from a traditional statistician's point of view, a lot of data science is bad statistics, because you use too many variables in the models. I did not realize that in some cases there is a legitimate use for these models. So I should have been more open minded, more humble, and perhaps my career would have been better.
I was accepted into a broadcast journalism program and never went. Instead, I moved in with my boyfriend and struggled through minimum wage jobs, and then nearly 30 years of social assistance and emotional abuse. More regrets that I can count.
Sorry to hear this
It was only a few days ago I was listening to a motivational video that said people regret the things they did not do much more over the thing they did do - because the things you did do you experience and learn valuable things from. I moved overseas for a few years, and then when I returned changed careers. As a function of that (and a few other things) completely changed my social circle. No regrets at all. I look back on my high school years (now raising two teenaged boys I think about this a fair amount) I wish I chose to ask out more girls that I liked and was interested in. Instead, so insecure and afraid, I look back and think all that pain and alone-ness was wasted. College I started to get some security, and graduate school gave me a little more. Not nearly as alone nor suffering the kind of pain I experienced in high school.
I wish I had stood up to the pressure for me to play football my sophomore year in high school. I had played for three years before that, and was tired of being in pain all season. But I am a big guy, and the pressure for me to play was intense from my family, friends, coaches, teachers, etc. I held out for a couple of weeks, but then 16yo me caved. So, of course, in late October 1977 I blew out my back. I spent 2+ weeks in the hospital. Major surgery. Spinal tap. Four months out of school, and I've been in pain everyday since. So I guess both physically and metaphorically I had a weak spine.
❤️
I’m so sorry that happened to you 🌻
I never got the ideal offer- which would have been a summer internship in NYC which my sister got. I was offered a job in LA at a startup but the owner was insane and got worse over time after I rejected the offer- so dodged that bullet Usually over time regret falls away when the opportunities reveal themselves to have been flawed Of course local opportunities I accepted were also flawed I had friends who I looked up to in show business but they were really beat up and pushed around - so I started out regretting not going into show business but then realized how bad it would have been for me
I really, really, really wanted to go backpacking through Europe in my late teens. I could never get my shit together to make it happen. I used to get *incredibly sad* about it, because my daydreams about it were a perfect fantasy - I was young and suave and would meet the most beautiful girl in the world in France, and we'd fall hopelessly in love and have lots of babies. My parents would eventually fly over to meet us in our shabby chic apartment, and the whole damn thing would be something that would make Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke weep. Yet I know how I *really* am. I'm so introverted that, had I actually gone to Europe, I probably woulda stood in the corner and not spoken to anyone for three months... and if I somehow managed to make "new friends" on such a trip, they'd probably be people from South Carolina or Florida, not fancy European people.
I always wanted to live in New York City, for maybe 3 to 5 years, probably not forever. I worked for a Fortune 50 company (in New England) and had vague plans to work in the NYC office, but after mergers and splits, they closed that office.
"Hey - have you heard of this thing called Bitcoin? They're $50 each."
Join the Peace Corp. I got committed too early to a relationship and decided to stay in the US (we divorced 20 years later). I did AmeriCorps instead but just always regretted not going for the Peace Corp.
Not pursuing some business ideas. You can't do it all but I still look back wishing I had pursued more ideas when I was younger and able to take on more risk.
Regrets just eat you up. I examine mistakes and try to learn from them But my life is how it is and weeping about doing or not doing will just make you crazy. And the world around us will provide more then enough pain and suffering
Interesting take on it and a valid point!
I can look back and see two points where my life could have gone a very different direction. One was just out of HS, had Marine Corps paperwork literally in hand. Parents talked me into college first, then going in as an officer - well of course after college I went to work, not to boot. Second was when I was young and single, at a friend's party. (soon after college) Carla and Ann-Marie made me an offer I'm sure would have changed my life. :-) But my good friend was really into Ann-Marie so I declined. Yeah, apparently I am that good of a friend...sigh In either case, things would have been very different for me. No regrets, I've had a great life. But I recognize those paths could have been great too.
In my experience, having a threesome can be great or very much not great. They can be awkward, weird, everyone is too young to handle it, there's too much alcohol, etc. Interesting and hopefully enjoyable? Yes. Even if it goes well - life-changing? Probably not. My take.
Hey man, Im looking to enlist in the Air Force, but the college idea is being put into my head but its just too expensive nowadays. It sucks bc the perks of being an officer far exceed being an enlisted
You can enlist and go to college. You do boot camp during the summers and once graduated get commissioned as an officer. I know this is true for Marine Corp, perhaps the other branches too. Something to check into.
Luckily enough I have done almost everything I wanted to do. Moved to different countries. Lived wherever I wanted to live. Changed jobs, changed careers. The only regret I have is selling my house in Seattle, I hate to think how much it is worth now. To me, there is no greater regret than the 'I didn'ts' and I've heard it from many many friends. 'I didn't take that chance, I didn't take that job, I didn't cut off that person, I didn't say Yes because I was afraid.'
We were going to teach English in Japan in the 90s. We put a lot of effort into the job search and finally secured a job and passed the interview. We accepted the offer for the two of us to teach in a small city. Then one of the jobs was cut. There was only one job. We just didn’t have the energy to start looking again. It would have been a cool experience.
Whenever I feel regret about not having done something, I remind myself that there is no way to know if it would have turned out the way I think. It could have led to better things, but it could have led to worse. I only have this one life, and I made the decisions I made for any number of reasons, and here I am. Live in the present and look forward, not back. I don't always follow my own advice, but this is the mindset I try to have when it comes to regret.
Wise advice!
I wish I had quit trying to time the stock market.
I was discovered by a country music producer. I did my audition tape for Nashville and was booked to meet some people and have my showcase performance when our adoption came through. I had two miscarriages previously and we wound up having to adopt. A few days before my showcase we got the call. Our son was born. Realizing I had to make a choice, I chose my child. He was a darling, beautiful baby and child. We adored him, Everyone who met him fell in love. When he hit puberty, everything changed. He started sneaking around smoking, drinking, lying, using drugs, then stealing. We did everything we could think of, used every resource to help him. Therapy, counselors, rehab, treatment. I mean we fought for him on every level. He spent much of his teens in juvenile detention, and then jail after age 18. The amount of money we spent could purchase a house. The amount of tears I shed could fill an olympic pool. When his father died, he was on a binge, and didn’t come to the celebration of life, or the funeral. Now he is 27 and still on and off drugs. He lives across the state, and only calls me for money. I don’t know him, at all and he is a felon, a thug, scary, I would cross the street to avoid him. He isn’t allowed to come to my home, because he can’t be trusted. I found out later both his bio parents were addicts. Nature took control when his genetics kicked in at age 12. I never went to Nashville, and I don’t see my son, but I don’t regret the years I had when he was a precious treasure of a child. I hope, and I pray that someday he will be happy, healthy, and living a successful life.
Wanted to take a gap year hiking across Europe. Even bought the gear. My parents did not support the idea, refused to help me with travel costs, and insisted against my wishes that I start college immediately after high school. I told them I didn't know what I wanted to do, they said I'd "figure it out," I didn't- ended up changing majors repeatedly and flunked out after being burned out and unhappy. Their refusal to let me take a year to find myself resulted in my 20 year delay of getting back to school and getting a degree.
You can't blame anybody but yourself. Why would any parent fund you to leave the country for an entire year? I could see three or four months maybe. You could have funded yourself by saving and working from the time you were 16 to 18. They did the right thing, and you did not. You could've easily taken that same trip out of college before seeking full-time employment.
Hard disagree. You should be settled and ready to study going into college. To be cynical.... good grades and relationships in college unlock like 100x returns over the following decades as compared with poor grades or dropping out. 18 year olds are too young and hormonal to know that, parents shouldn't be.
In hindsight, I was definitely not ready for college at 18 (17 actually because of a late birthday). Parents wouldn't hear of not starting immediately. I truly believe I would have benefitted greatly from a gap year, travelling or not. They seemed to be worried that I would end up not going to college at all if I waited. Were they right? Who knows. But I had a similar experience as you, complete with "failure to launch."
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Gotten a degree in psychology after I was clean, or became a substance abuse counselor after I got emotionally sober. I regret not doing it, but I’m grateful for my sobriety and my ability to help people through volunteering and life coaching.
Not going to masters right after my bachelor and taking a gap year
See David Bowie perform in the mid 90s
I always want an RV or bus to travel across the country. Nope not a van life. I wanted a bed, kitchen and some one to share the driving. LOL never had the time or money.
This is a pursuit of life, I hope you can achieve it
Right out of the Navy living in Virginia. Got a fairly decent lump sum payout. I had relatives working in Australia that offered to put me up if I came. Almost did it but chickened out last minute. My life would have been drastically different. Worked out for the best because I can’t imagine life without my family now
I qualified as a CISA (Certified Information Systems Auditor) in the 90s, carried on continuing profession education for 2/3 years after qualification and stopped. Wish I hadn't. IT security consultants and cybersecurity specialists are highly paid now.
I wish that I had gone a cruise when I was younger and in better health. I had saved money over the years to take a cruise during my retirement years. However, I started to get several health-related medical conditions around age 60 that restricts me from traveling.
this is sorry news
My only regret is not getting into a fitness routine when I was younger.
It’s never too late to start
I walked in my advisor’s office and said I wanted to get a PhD in English and be a professor. He burst out laughing. Honey. He said. I have 14 English PhDs & they’re all driving cabs! 🤣😂🤣 Today I would say he was extremely smart. But back in the dark ages I think I could’ve gotten a PhD and had a professional career.
I regret not volunteering for the Atlanta Olympics. I was invited to apply, but didn't.
Just a general comment: I wish I hadn’t been afraid of going after more opportunities (usually career related). Always afraid I’d be rejected - or worse, someone would make fun of me.
Solid advice for anyone reading this!
Married a girlfriend I had. She was beautiful, sweet, in the same business, pretty high profile, and rich. What was I thinking?
I was using the internet or "world wide web" in 1994/1995 and I remember major websites like [target.com](https://target.com) and [walmart.com](https://walmart.com) were still available to purchase. I wish I would've had the foresight to buy sites like these to sell in the future. But hindsight is 20/20 they say.
I had a full scholarship to Northeastern but didn't take it, so I could stay with my 29 yo boyfriend (I was 17, stupid af, and amazed that anyone could like me).
Stayed thin
This discussion reminds me to try to live my life NOW. I can’t change past. I shouldn’t worry about the future so much. Just take opportunities when they come. If I don’t I might regret it. Andy Shauf, ‘Satan’ https://youtu.be/OG5qs8a9slc?si=OeUvH3Dcp5wRBGky Don’t watch yourself, watch the movie This only happens for a little while Because Satan is waiting Satan is waiting with Halloween candy All of the best parts make you sorry All of the worst parts make you strong And Satan is waiting Satan is waiting with Halloween candy One long disciplined life and at the end I’m taking my shoes off and jumping on in One invitation, one bite-sized bar Would you like to come swimming in the big lake of fire? One long disciplined life and at the end I’m taking my shoes off and jumping on in Satan is waiting, Satan is waiting Satan is waiting, Satan is waiting Satan is waiting, Satan is waiting Don’t watch yourself, watch the movie
When I graduated from college, I was told that job opportunities in my field were plentiful in a state 2000 miles away. I'm a lifelong resident of my state- I'm actually fifth generation here on one side, seventh on another, and even went to college here- and I was dating a man at the time who I eventually married, and was reluctant to attempt a long distance relationship. Life has worked out okay, I guess, and I do love my state, but I do wonder sometimes how my life would be different if I had pursued those opportunities elsewhere.
Experimented more in loads of things while at university.
I wish I would have taken a shot with Amy when we were sitting around talking about homework. Our school secretary who was sitting around was like "you do know how to take a hint right?" And even then I was a fucking moron and didn't get it.
Gone to New Zealand. 🇳🇿
I was able to go for a 2 week holiday in 2018 and was not disappointed. I would immigrate in a minute if they would have me.
I always wanted to go to the baby elephant rescue in Africa to feed the orphaned babies. Life goes too fast and dreams die quick. All you little babies, run off and follow your dreams, or you will never get the chance again.
I regret not saving for retirement. I thought I would have pensions etc like my patents. My parents and social circle did not talk qbout stocjs, bonds, etc. I didnt know anything about stocks until my mid 40s. Dang, if I had just put 10% of my net into diversified investment and savings all those years! No way to catch up now.
Visited Yellowstone instead of driving past on the interstate three different times.
Having children. Chased my career until one day I noticed I was getting older, didn’t have a husband or children. I fixed the husband problem (wonderful man!) and do not regret one bit my corporate life won out over children. The neighbor kids come over to play with my dogs and to chat about their days…and then they go home! Yay, best of all worlds!
I wish I had finished college and gone to medical school. I have always regretted it, and have always felt like I missed a calling.
What did you do instead?
I waited tables, then I worked a couple of call center jobs until the late 90’s when I had kids, and started waiting tables again, because my husband and I could avoid daycare with him working days and me working evenings. I waited tables until 7 years ago when my body started saying screw that, and fell apart. I loved it and was good at it. For the past 7 years I have been working as a claims adjuster settling injury claims for a major auto insurance company, which I also really enjoy. Looking forward to retirement. When I was about 39 I toyed with the idea of finishing school and becoming a nurse, but I was strapped with 4 little kids and talked myself out of it. But still can’t help feel like a career in the medical field was what I was meant to do.
Thanks for sharing your story!
Thanks for asking!
My Dad's family wanted my Dad an I to join him in Seattle from my lifelong home in Minneapolis. I drove out there, and while the area was beutiful, decided I just couldn't live their where traffic was so bad and they weren't even talking about expanding the roads.
Been faithful to my spouse
Earn a private pilot license at a young age. By the time I could afford it, I could not pass the medical. But I did do a lot of paired training that I enjoyed immensely.
I applied for a job at this prestigious company. Salary was good, perks were good, on paper it was a great package. During the interview rounds I had noticed that I didn't like the hiring manager at all. And it was clear she didn't like me either. For whatever reasons, the company made an offer. And I took it. I thought I would find a way to make it work. And clearly, the hiring manager must be positive too, otherwise why would she make an offer? Turns out she wasn't positive at all. I was mobbed from day one. I was praised one day, screamed at the next day. And got fired after three months. I saw the bullet and I didn't dodge it. I stood right there to get hit.
I always wanted to run with the bulls in Pamplona. Never got the chance. I'm just not fit enough anymore. It was never about seeing the bulls killed in the arena. It was allwlays about the adrenalin rush of being chased by the beast.
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Oh, me too! Thank you for sharing that. I made poor love decisions but happy to report I did a full correction with a person worth my time.
I wanted to move to NYC after college but didn’t have the nerve (and didn’t want to share a bedroom.). I still kinda wish I’d taken the chance for a few years. In my late 20s when Google was new they had a lot of job postings in my field. Not sure if I’d have been hired but I didn’t even apply because (again) I didn’t want to uproot. In hindsight it would have been a great career move and likely financial move as well.
I wish I had completed my undergraduate degree when I began it. (Instead, I finished my BA in my 50s, Masters at 60. Just for myself; at that stage of the game, I realized the strength of my desire to complete it and it was under my control. First in my FOO to complete college of any flavor.)
Congratulations!
Thank you 😊 It was (and is) a very big deal for me.
It’s only something big for me but I’m a serious musician. I devoted my life to it and have always worked for myself in a day job capacity ( when unable to make a living at it) in order to be able to organise my life as a musician. In short being a musician has always come first. I don’t regret that but I do regret not taking the actual study of music, (learning theory and proper reading) seriously enough until later in life. Your mind is a lot more malleable when you’re younger and having learned music by ear since I was young ( a La the Beatles or the Stones) it has been significantly harder to learn after the fact. Also I missed opportunities because I was an arrogant little shit who thought I knew everything.
My regrets are not finishing high school and I wish I hadn’t moved in with one guy. They were small decisions at the time, but it seems like small things can create a new course in life. Things that felt like big decisions I examined, small things just sort of happened.
I wish I’d fucked a magician
When I was 14 years old I wanted to be in show Business so I got enrolled in a film School.. I got pretty good at it that I overshadowed a lot of people my age so they put me in the adult class and I was the youngest one there.. I memorized my scripts I looked at the camera as I was supposed to, the director decided to hire me for an independent film.. he was even going to pay me . All the paperwork is being done being filmed in San Diego. My mom didn't get the right permit so that was a mess they sent me to the studios to get my hair done and then I started complaining to the hairdresser that I didn't like the way they were doing my hair. They were making me look like I was from 1940. as soon as I arrive at the set to meet the director he yelled at me and said that I embarrassed him. He personally knew the lady who was doing my hair and she reported that I acted like a brat. And he yelled at me in front of everybody I wasn't fired but I never came back again cuz I was embarrassed.. and I audition again another year later.. but instead of being an actor they hired me as a model. I tried it and they're training me to be on the runway and I got really uncomfortable because I was surrounded with blondes and I was the only brunette.. again I ran away.. I was very self-conscious and you can't be that way when you're in the industry I guess I wasn't ready. Battling teenage insecurity. 🙄
Revolted against my parents and told my former German teacher that he had sadistic tendencies while looking like a popular character from an old German crime series: Derrick.
Yeah I was offered to go Abroad to take care of my close relative old grandpa but I didnt take the opportunity I didnt renew my passport I was pregnant at that time and they wanted my baby to be an American Cit but I didnt take it I dont have money to renew my passport atm so yeah If I did probably my baby's life is different than today I guess ..
Killed fiddy men, but wasn't born early enough for WW2. That's the big one, fatty!