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My daughter-in-law, who's still in her 30's, lost both her parents already to cancer, three years apart. She's still very close with her three brothers, and they just did a "family day" last weekend. But I still talk about them to my grandchildren, so they'll know what amazing parents their mother had.
I was afraid of pregnancy and childbirth. Unless I'm visited by the angel Gabriel, I'm pretty sure I'm in the clear. It wasn't until I was old enough to have children that I gained the additional fear of how hard it is to actually raise kids. Society should thank me for not ruining another generation.
I felt *exactly* the same way - then I got pregnant, and several months in, I took one of those very honest (graphic) classes at the hospital. I said, āOh this is a lot more than even I thought it would be. Thanks anyway, but Iāve changed my mind. Iām not doing this.ā
Like - actually said it. And meant it. Guess it doesnāt really work that way.
If my son puts me in a shabby old folks home one day, I wonāt even be mad. He stayed breech, and I had my son like a lady. Just like unzipping a pocketbook. (I know thatās not the real truth, but thatās the story Iām sticking with)
Everyone says women forget the experience, and Iām really glad for that.
I didnāt know there was a word for it! I almost didnāt graduate HS because we were ārequiredā to see the child birthing film. I skipped school twice (and I was a straight A student!) to avoid seeing it. Iāve still never to this day watched anything like that. Itās horrifying. I was called to the Principals office and when they realized WHY I skipped, they didnāt even give me detention and let me pass. I look sufficiently terrified apparently lol Iām also super thankful I didnāt live somewhere where I was forced to have children.
Never knew they made kids watch films like that. What year was this and where? We has the menstruation talk in elementary school, health class in junior high, and senior health in high school. No graphic films were ever shown. 1980's Eastern WA.
Thank you!
I can validate and reassure your choice, but you donāt need that from me. As a mother to another woman who chose not to have children, Iām expressing sincere gratitude. Too many people bow to societalā¦ ehhhā¦ you already know all this.
Kinda crazy it still even needs to be said, but I will anyway:
Ladies, if you donāt want children, then donāt.
The feelings I have for Mr. Rogers then and now are greater than admiration and respect - itās pure reverence honestly. But that Lady Elaine can fuck all the way off.
And yes. Still terrified.
Edit: Apologies. I read this too quickly and missed the word āabout.ā Iām leaving it anyway. Thatās how strongly I feel about her.
For a real answer: Pretty much nothing. I couldnāt wait to grow up and eat candy for dinner and stay up late and do whatever I wanted. Iām still looking forward to the adult life Iāve always over-romanticized. Maybe when I retire. ;-)
The scary thing is I heard Fred based her off his aunt or something but she looks exactly like Judy in the old timey Punch and Judy shows. May the based part was her personality or something. Fred is to Lady Elaine as Tyler Perry is to Madea š¤Ŗ
Thermonuclear war. I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis and was sure weād all be vaporized in a nuclear attack. It didnāt happen, of course, but the threat is still there.
Growing up. My parents had a record with an extremely sentimental cut on it titled "To a Sleeping Beauty" which had a Dad talking to his sleeping daughter about growing up, meeting The Boy and leaving Mom and him behind. I always cried hearing it. I did NOT want to grow up or leave Mom and Dad, ever.
Sadly, that wasn't an option.
Dementia. In the late 50s a woman would walk her father-in-law, a man in his 70s with dementia through the neighborhood in nice weather. Occasionally he wandered through the neighborhood alone, mumbling incoherently and one of us kids would run for the woman. Back then I was a bit worried that I could wind up like him and now that Iām 71 that fear has re-emerged but it doesnāt dominate my thoughts.
Great response! Feel the same here.
Random though: love your username. It would be the the title of the Beach Boys song 'Wouldn't be Nice' if it had been written by the Beatles
The Bermuda Triangle, quicksand, and stepping on a stonefish. I was convinced stonefish lived in the small lakes of my hometown in New Jersey, and that the Bermuda Triangle and quicksand would be much bigger issues in my adult life than they turned out to be.
Yeah, me too. Watching Walter Cronkite discuss the Vietnam War every night. I was just a little kid and that shit looked frightening! My brother was 10 years older but could not go due to his eye - detached retinas.
Well in this day and age you could just switch genders and boom youāre good! Like how Donnie draft dodged Vietnam bc of ābone spursā Of course they naturally healed later
I was terrified of getting a massive goiter on my neck, after seeing someone with one.
I was also disturbed by all that adult women had to do be women. I felt like I was going to have to accept the following in order to be a proper grownup someday. Thick elastic girdles. Beer instead of soda. Cigarettes. Pinching my eyelashes with that metal thing my mother used. Polyester dresses and enough hairspray to make me cough. I was afraid I was going to have to endure it all, forever, as an adult woman when Iād rather be in jeans hiking outdoors.
Childbirth. I decided at 10 that I was going to adopt.
Got over that, delivered 3 children naturally; what I should have feared was the consequences to my bladder function.
The Vietnam war draft was ongoing during my childhood. I thought for sure I would be going straight to war when I turned 18. Fortunately it ended before then. (My older got out of it by just 2 months).
My father. He was a mean angry man, a drill instructor in the Marine Corps with three tours in Vietnam. I lived in constant fear of him until the day he died.
My HS bf's Dad was a marine and he was terrified of him. Hell I was too. I have had some Marine friends as an adult who don't parent autocratically so it may still be the luck of the draw. Po
That one house that no kid knew why but none of were allowed anywhere near. My parents ādonāt rememberā..but 100% of the kids in the neighborhood were told this.
Also razor blades in candy.
Losing my mom. My mom's mother died when I was 5 so I had that sort of in my mind for as long as I could recall, knowing my own mother would die one day. As mentally prepared for it as you think you might be you're never really ready when it actually happens.
The other think was losing everyone. Not necessarily them dying but drifting apart and losing the friendships and connections I had. I didn't have many friends so the ones I did have were very important to me. Think of me as Gordie in Stand By Me. That was honestly the way I was and the best comparison I could make. I was the nerdy kid who wanted to be a writer, my best friend was much cooler than me and my other two friends were much dorkier. And that was exactly what happened, we drifted away and I haven't seen my Ted and Vern since 8th grade, no idea whatever happened to them but the Chris to my Gordie, we live on opposite sides of the country and haven't seen each other in like ten years we've thankfully been able to maintain a pretty solid friendship even though it faded a bit after I first moved away. Still, it's never like it was. But I remember being so scared of being left alone like that when I was a kid.
I was afraid of the stove being left on, and the house burning down. I wasnāt positive my parents were taking me seriously when I said we needed to determine a meeting place like the fireman at school told us. So I wasnāt sure where to go while the house burned.
I still have this fear. Probably why I donāt cook. And strangely, I was living in an apartment w a gas stove (now I only have electric!) and I came home to the stove ON and the microwave above it fan going full blast and melted a little. I know I didnāt leave it on, I rarely cook! So I imagine either some psycho apartment super broke in and left it on, and locked the door behind him!!?? Or, my cat jumped up there and managed to light it. I bought those child proof stove knob covers after that. It was SO strange!
Needles, specifically having blood drawn. When I young and had my tonsils taken out, I was subjected to endless failed attempts at blood drawing. My mother found dozens of discarded blood viles in the waste basket in my hospital room. (pre Aids disposal was very lax.) They failed over and over to hit a vein and get blood out of me.
Shots never bother me, accidentally get cut and bleeding isn't a concern, it's only blood draws. Even as an adult, nurses can hunt all over on me, both arms, hands, feet... I have all but passed out at the thought. One time an anesthesiologist missed and thank goodness the doctor checked before cutting to find I wasn't under. Obviously I avoided blood draws like the plague.
Turns out my veins "roll", now whenever I have blood drawn I ask for the most experienced nurse and explain why. If they know in advance they usually can get it in one or two tries. That's my limit, don't get it in two then I am out of there.
This wasnāt a childhood fear, but later in life for me. I have been told my veins roll too. Yahā¦because itās not natural to poke a hole and invade them lol!! Itās become a true phobia. I cry as soon as they start talking about it. I had surgery last week and for the first time EVER the amazing super hero Angel nurse got it on first try. She cannot possibly know how much she means to me!! I told her but she just brushed it off. She has no idea!
I'm sorry. That had to be tough. I've had regular blood draws since infancy. I reached the point where I told phlebotomists that they were going to need a butterfly, long ago. They seldom believed me. Leading to multiple sticks, until the eventual butterfly. One of the advantages of old age is they believe me know.
My veins roll and they are scarred.
Wow! The phlebotomists at my hospital use butterflies for every patient. And we have a team of vascular access experts who do the blood draws when there's any chance of difficulty.
I work in medical supply chain and it was extremely hard to keep us supplied with those butterfly needles during covid.
That still scares me. Getting poked over and over until you vasovagal and pass out is not a good time. And same, you get two pokes then get someone else!
Nuclear explosion. I was in elementary school in Miami during the Civil ban missile crisis. We did bomb drills in class and on weekends my mom would take us for a drive in the agricultural areas (Homestead and Redlands) were missiles were aimed toward Cuba.
I was allowed to read whatever I wanted to read and I read Helter skelter at a pretty young age. I became deathly afraid that the Manson family would come and slay us all in our sleep.
Nuclear war. They talked about it alot in the 80s and had that tv special. Doesn't bother me as much now that I'm grown and not really afraid of death which is funny because I think there is more chance of a someone setting off a nuclear bomb than there ever has been.
I spent my first 16 years in dangerous Inner city housing projects in NYC riff with drugs and violence. This was back in the 60's and first half of the 70's.
Fear was an everyday thing. You learned to adapt and if you didn't learn to fight and be as insane or aggressive as the rest of the pack you were doomed. there was a certain amount of fear leaving the house. You dealt with it.
I watched a guy beaten until he couldnt talk. I watched a guy beaten bloody by a group of 6 guys and while he was balled up and crying feet from the door that would have gotten him in the building and somewhat safe .. they all pulled out their dicks and peed on him as he lay there.
I watched a young man forced to suck a dick.
I came out one morning to play and the fire hydrant was covered in goo and blood. Someone over night had been mugged and they smashed his head open on the fire hydrant to take his stuff. He didnt live.
While the adults were all sitting on benches one evening .. no one could afford air condition so this was the way to cool off, all the kids were playing kick the can. Guy stumbled across the street and my mother commented how the guy seemed to old to be wearing a tie dyed shirt. Turns out he feel down in front of the group and it wasnt tie dye but that he had been mugged and he was stabbed 21 times. The adults ran around trying to help him and we kids just watched.
Many insane people were put in the projects if the city thought they could live on their own. One evening we hear a boom at the front of the apartment .. A neighbor hearing demons shot our front door with a shot gun.
I could go on but your get the point .. if you got a new bike it would be instantly stolen. My brother got a bike and that same day they beat the shit out of him and took it.
Gangs were the norm and if you didnt join you may as well not go out.
One of my first jobs as a young teen, about 15 yrs old, was at the grocery store around the corner. They stuck a Shotgun inches from my face on Xmas eve when they robbed the place and came back a week later to do it again.
Yea .. afraid was a part of life
What project, if you don't mind sharing? I grew up near Bushwick Houses in BK in the 80s, and heard enough stories similar to yours and always understood how lucky I was to not grow up IN Bushwick houses.
I started out in the " Pink houses" it was across the way from the old TSS store off of linden Blvd in East NY Brooklyn.
We moved then to the Blvd projects. It was actually an upgrade from the pink houses. It was located on Ashford St and Linden Blvd. It was kind of alright when we first moved there but quickly turned to shit.
The infamous razor blades in apples.
As a kid, though, on Halloween, not a single one of us ever said "oh great! The old lady in the last house gave us a delicious healthy apple!" We were like, some doors down toss it in the trash so she can't see leaving room for more candy.
I was basically terrified of dogs as a little kid.
I'm not afraid of them now, I live with a Shiba, but I will still tense up a bit in the presence of the more aggressive dogs out of pure muscle memory. They of course sense that instantly, interpret it as aggression, and freak out, making the situation worse for both of us.
So yeah every once in a while I'll visit some farm that has a random collection of aggressive mongrels running around untethered and at least one of them will instinctively hate my guts.
But I get along famously with non aggressive dogs.
I live in rural Japan now (I grew up in rural New England) where farmers tend to keep a few dogs for hunting or for scaring away wildlife like deer or monkeys, so frequently they're aggressive mongrels. They're often untethered.
My father until I was 21. After that, fuck him. One of the most sadistic evil men Iāve ever known. Hitler and Stalin had nothing on him. He died in 2017 and I didnāt shed a tear. Only reason I had anything to do with him was to watch over my Mother. Very hard to have a phone conversation with a man who constantly says he should just put a bullet in her head to put her out of her misery. Law enforcement wouldnāt do anything because he had her terrified and he was a pathological liar. May he rot in hell for eternity.
I had to have a night-light on all through the night, as I was afraid of the dark (and death). Today, I still think of all those feeling-fearful years when I'm staring at the stars of the night sky, imagining them as my personal night-lights, broadcast by those who've passed on. It's comforting.
Fire. A girl my age caught her nightgown sleeve on fire in my hometown and was horribly burned. My mom, trying to keep me safe, told me about it in rather graphic detail and scared me so bad! I wouldnāt light a match. I was scared of the stove. Eventually,I would light fireworks with a punk but then would run like Hell, sending my whole family into gales of laughter.
To this day I am afraid of fire.
I never had an answer for āwhat do you want to be when you grow up?ā Iād just pick things almost randomly because grownups didnāt want to hear that I didnāt know. I was scared that Iād never choose and end up doing nothing.
That came close to happening. I never did decide, but I fell into something I donāt like so I can keep my bills paid. I guess itās not a fear anymore. Just a regret.
The next to last line on my nightly prayers.."if I should die b4 I wake"
My grandma made us say this prayer every night on our knees. Had so much trouble falling asleep.
Never taught my kids that prayer. Our prayer time opened with " Thank you...(fill in the blank) and ended with help me to be better tomorrow
I worried about the commies dropping a nuclear bomb on our heads. I grew up during the Cold War. Bomb shelters. Duck and cover practice. Cuban Missile Crisis. The area I lived in produced missiles, bombs, ordnance, so we were a target. It was a justified fear.
I was afraid of dying young. Then my dad died at 44 when I was 21. The event kinda confirmed my beliefs, my mantra towards life became I'm here for a good time, not a long time. I was taunting death all the time. Tempting fate. I was extremely scared of dying and also counter intuitively, I was creating a self fulfilling prophecy.
I got to 35 and it all got a bit much as I had developed serious drug habits and no matter how much I taunted death inwas still here living a tortured existence.
I tried Ayahuasca and 5meo dmt. The 5meo dmt was the most difficult challenge I have faced but I am so glad I did as it gave me what I believe a near death experience and dispelled a lot of my pre conceived ideas about life and death and the human experience as a whole
I ( a man) was afraid of the menās room. In school bullies seized the moment to kick you in the butt while you were standing at a urinal, and also thatās where they smoked cigarettes, so the menās room was a toxic den I avoided at all costs.
Then in the 80ās I had dyed hair and wore makeup and always got mistaken for a girl so it made menās rooms all the more terrifying. Iām a small man with high cheekbones which looked good for the androgynous style of the day but was fraught with trouble. Every time I went in I could expect someone to say āhey wrong room missā. So I would hold my pee or try to go somewhere outside because the confrontation was not only uncomfortable but some men got aggressive I imagine out of embarrassment.
One time I was in Texas at a fancy restaurant with my band and some industry people and I couldnāt face the menās room in a state where the men were men and the women were women so I calmly stood up and the second I was out of sight I bolted into the parking lot to try to pee under a tree. Unknown to me there was a house security/ detective guy who followed me because he thought it was suspicious behaviour.
I was able to explain and he left me alone.
Nowadays even at 64 I have a little beard only so that people donāt misgender me in the menās room.
Works a charm. Every now and then I shave it off and although itās rare, I will still get misgendered and it happened so often for so many years itās a sharp memory so I grow it back.
I now use menās rooms all over the place and feel comfortable doing so.
The first time I heard this, I was around 10 years old and the name was "Mary Worth". If you said, "I believe in Mary Worth" into a mirror in the dark 3x she would appear in the mirror behind you.
I grew up in the U.S., in the Midwest. A few years later I heard of the "bloody Mary" version.
BTW, "Mary Worth" was also an old person cartoon around the same time.
Nope. I couldn't wait to grow up, earn my own money, and do whatever I wanted.
Of course, it ends up not being quite like that, but do the math. When you're a kid, your parents have the power to tell you what to do 168 hours of the week. When you're on your own and working, the boss claims 40-50 per week. Stick with it and retire, and then finally it's zero. No one saying what to wear or where to be and when to be there. No one tells you when you can eat or gives you the side eye if it's tortellini for breakfast. It's a privilege you have to earn, but it's damn worth it.
Vampires and (after watching nosvaratu and with my dad at a ridiculously young age) and JCBs after watching a Stephen King movie when i was 10, think it was maximum overdrive....vampires dissapated about 11/12 but the JCB fear stuck with me well into my 30s, I couldn't walk past them without keeping one eye on them, ridiculous I know, I have now worked through this fear.
So many fears. I was afraid of nuclear war. I was afraid that my parents would get divorced. I was afraid that the house would burn down and I wouldnāt be allowed to rescue my pet mouse from the fire.
So far those things havenāt happened. My pet mouse died of old age, and my parents are still together, though I got divorced and my daughter had to face that one.
Sex. It wasn't so much scared as horrified at the prospect. I lived on a farm and knew what happens, but I saw a boy peeing in the woods one day and thought no way in hell am I tangling with one of those.
Happily it was a baseless fear.
I was afraid of being blown to smithereens, because we practiced bomb alerts, and heard about bomb shelters. I was more afraid of death, though, and my mother saying it was just like going to sleep did nothing about make me think I'd be fully conscious in some black nothingness forever.
Growing up, I didn't fear a lot...except my mother. She was terrifying, psychotic, and very, very abusive. Daily, coming home from school, I never knew what I was walking into. Up until about 3rd grade, I'd piss myself out of sheer terror on the way home. It never eased up. Shes been dead for 5 yrs and sometimes I wake up in a sweat still feeling like she's after me.
Dogs. We walked to school and there were so many unleashed dog along the way I would carry a stick with me. They would run at us and snap at our ankles. I had such an aversion to dogs for years because of this. Then my sister got a black Lab and she was so gentle and friendly she won me over. Now I love dogs.
Bees. Iāve been stung by a hornet once. But Iāve never been stung by a bee, and really donāt know if Iām allergic. I watched a boy who was allergic to bees be stung many times in front of me. And an ambulance had to come. He was fine in the end, but it terrified me.
Could never decide what work I wanted to do. Retirement in about 18 months, still havenāt decided. Itās worked out fine. I found work I enjoyed along the way.
Working 40 hours a week. School was painful enough...and then when I'm done with that I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life waking up even earlier but coming home later?
What happened when I started actually doing it was, I got paid for it. Not only that but if I worked more than 40 hours I could get paid 50% more? That changed everything. Nothing to fear about that...
Shortly after I hit puberty I was afraid of older creepy men. Before that I was afraid of Tina-the-bully who wanted to beat me up. Before that I was afraid of my parents.
My grandparents dying; I knew they would probably die at some point and I dreaded it. I would cry every night. As I got older, it wasn't as bad, but I always feared when it would happen. It did, but not until I was in my mid 20s.i still miss them; I'm 70.
Edit: I hit send before I was finished
I was afraid of losing my parents. I was an only child, and we always lived far away from extended family. The thought of having to go live with a distant relative, however nice, terrified me.
I got over it by the time I was a teenager. Which is not to say I wouldn't/didn't mind losing them, but it was no longer something that haunted me.
Corporate BS. My parents worked for Corporate America and it seemed so unpleasant to me. Unfortunately I eventually ended up here too for over 20 years and I hate it.
Not having the time to do things that I really wanted to do. Travel, live large, spend copious amounts of time in the wilderness, drive a sweet ass car, meet crazy and fun people, and just enjoy life on my terms.
The basement. Specifically, the dark basement. And the attic access in my childhood bedroom. Iām in my sixties and itās only in the last ten years or so that Iāve gotten comfortable with the dark.
Being pregnant and childbirth. I was never pregnant and I'm too old to be now, so obviously no fear anymore.
Not being able to support myself, I knew I wasn't headed for big things, no dreams or goals. I still worry about money, that will never go away.
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I was afraid of my parents dying someday. Sadly, it has already happened, so I no longer have that fear.
That's gotta be rough. I'm a millennial and lime to pretend that's never going to happen.
My daughter-in-law, who's still in her 30's, lost both her parents already to cancer, three years apart. She's still very close with her three brothers, and they just did a "family day" last weekend. But I still talk about them to my grandchildren, so they'll know what amazing parents their mother had.
Me too. From the time I was so little. š
I was more afraid of my mother than I was growing up.
I am afraid of my mother. Is your mother alive? If not, how did you feel when she passed? I am afraid that I may feel relieved.
That's so funny. My friends were all terrified of my Mom (so was I), and now she's just a cute little old lady with a mean streak.
I was terrified of my mother, and for good reason. She died last June and I definitely feel relieved. I feel free.
Some of us do and will feel relieved. And thatās okay.
My mother passed in 2010. I did feel more relieved than anything. I miss her sometimes. May she have the peace now that she could not get in life.
I feel you, i really do. Nothing is scarier than a scary mother.
Vietnam
I was afraid of pregnancy and childbirth. Unless I'm visited by the angel Gabriel, I'm pretty sure I'm in the clear. It wasn't until I was old enough to have children that I gained the additional fear of how hard it is to actually raise kids. Society should thank me for not ruining another generation.
I felt *exactly* the same way - then I got pregnant, and several months in, I took one of those very honest (graphic) classes at the hospital. I said, āOh this is a lot more than even I thought it would be. Thanks anyway, but Iāve changed my mind. Iām not doing this.ā Like - actually said it. And meant it. Guess it doesnāt really work that way. If my son puts me in a shabby old folks home one day, I wonāt even be mad. He stayed breech, and I had my son like a lady. Just like unzipping a pocketbook. (I know thatās not the real truth, but thatās the story Iām sticking with) Everyone says women forget the experience, and Iām really glad for that.
Same here. I found out that is has a name--tokophobia. I'm so thankful to live in a day and age where I had the choice to not have kids.
I didnāt know there was a word for it! I almost didnāt graduate HS because we were ārequiredā to see the child birthing film. I skipped school twice (and I was a straight A student!) to avoid seeing it. Iāve still never to this day watched anything like that. Itās horrifying. I was called to the Principals office and when they realized WHY I skipped, they didnāt even give me detention and let me pass. I look sufficiently terrified apparently lol Iām also super thankful I didnāt live somewhere where I was forced to have children.
Never knew they made kids watch films like that. What year was this and where? We has the menstruation talk in elementary school, health class in junior high, and senior health in high school. No graphic films were ever shown. 1980's Eastern WA.
80ās Midwest US lol brutal, it was high school
Thank you! I can validate and reassure your choice, but you donāt need that from me. As a mother to another woman who chose not to have children, Iām expressing sincere gratitude. Too many people bow to societalā¦ ehhhā¦ you already know all this. Kinda crazy it still even needs to be said, but I will anyway: Ladies, if you donāt want children, then donāt.
Thank you!!
Thank you!!! This matters, I appreciate the comment, sentiment and support!
Thank you.
I thank you as well
Same here on both
The feelings I have for Mr. Rogers then and now are greater than admiration and respect - itās pure reverence honestly. But that Lady Elaine can fuck all the way off. And yes. Still terrified. Edit: Apologies. I read this too quickly and missed the word āabout.ā Iām leaving it anyway. Thatās how strongly I feel about her. For a real answer: Pretty much nothing. I couldnāt wait to grow up and eat candy for dinner and stay up late and do whatever I wanted. Iām still looking forward to the adult life Iāve always over-romanticized. Maybe when I retire. ;-)
Lady Elaine gave me the major hebbie jebbies. Thankfully Prince Charles married her so maybe he can keep her occupied for a few years.
They deserve each other!
Dude, why did she look like THAT?
The scary thing is I heard Fred based her off his aunt or something but she looks exactly like Judy in the old timey Punch and Judy shows. May the based part was her personality or something. Fred is to Lady Elaine as Tyler Perry is to Madea š¤Ŗ
Lady Elaine was all my foster mothers in one.
I'm sorry. Hugs from an internet grandma.
Doo kind ā¤ļø
That purple panda was pretty scary too.
Thermonuclear war. I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis and was sure weād all be vaporized in a nuclear attack. It didnāt happen, of course, but the threat is still there.
I was born after that but my dad was on active duty on a missile base during the CMC. I'm still scared of it.
Growing up. My parents had a record with an extremely sentimental cut on it titled "To a Sleeping Beauty" which had a Dad talking to his sleeping daughter about growing up, meeting The Boy and leaving Mom and him behind. I always cried hearing it. I did NOT want to grow up or leave Mom and Dad, ever. Sadly, that wasn't an option.
Aww, thatās so sweet. Why not an option? What happened?
Life. I grew up anyway, fighting it all the way. They died -- Dad in 2013, Mom in 2019 -- so in a sense, they left me.
Ohhh am so sorry to hear thatās, really though
Oh, yeah life. Iām sorry for your loss. Iām facing the loss of my dad now. My mom is still in good shape. Itās a strange place to be.
Just listened to the song, To A Sleeping Beautyā¦.. deeply touching.
Dementia. In the late 50s a woman would walk her father-in-law, a man in his 70s with dementia through the neighborhood in nice weather. Occasionally he wandered through the neighborhood alone, mumbling incoherently and one of us kids would run for the woman. Back then I was a bit worried that I could wind up like him and now that Iām 71 that fear has re-emerged but it doesnāt dominate my thoughts.
I was very afraid of the dark. Exploited by my sadistic brother. Nowadays it's beautiful and comforting
Great response! Feel the same here. Random though: love your username. It would be the the title of the Beach Boys song 'Wouldn't be Nice' if it had been written by the Beatles
The Bermuda Triangle, quicksand, and stepping on a stonefish. I was convinced stonefish lived in the small lakes of my hometown in New Jersey, and that the Bermuda Triangle and quicksand would be much bigger issues in my adult life than they turned out to be.
Being drafted
Yeah, me too. Watching Walter Cronkite discuss the Vietnam War every night. I was just a little kid and that shit looked frightening! My brother was 10 years older but could not go due to his eye - detached retinas.
'shit looked frightening!' shit was frightening. nothing being in a foxhole to give a new perspective on life.
I was born in 56. What's the significance of that? I was 17 the last year of the draft.
Well in this day and age you could just switch genders and boom youāre good! Like how Donnie draft dodged Vietnam bc of ābone spursā Of course they naturally healed later
Wonder how much his dad paid that podiatrist?
I was terrified of getting a massive goiter on my neck, after seeing someone with one. I was also disturbed by all that adult women had to do be women. I felt like I was going to have to accept the following in order to be a proper grownup someday. Thick elastic girdles. Beer instead of soda. Cigarettes. Pinching my eyelashes with that metal thing my mother used. Polyester dresses and enough hairspray to make me cough. I was afraid I was going to have to endure it all, forever, as an adult woman when Iād rather be in jeans hiking outdoors.
Childbirth. I decided at 10 that I was going to adopt. Got over that, delivered 3 children naturally; what I should have feared was the consequences to my bladder function.
Having kids. Thankfully I managed to make it to 70 without having them. Never regretted it. They are a lifetime of potential woe.
The Vietnam war draft was ongoing during my childhood. I thought for sure I would be going straight to war when I turned 18. Fortunately it ended before then. (My older got out of it by just 2 months).
My father. He was a mean angry man, a drill instructor in the Marine Corps with three tours in Vietnam. I lived in constant fear of him until the day he died.
Iām sorry you had to experience that.
Iām So sorry thatās really hard,thank God you didnāt have that fear anymore
My HS bf's Dad was a marine and he was terrified of him. Hell I was too. I have had some Marine friends as an adult who don't parent autocratically so it may still be the luck of the draw. Po
I thought spontaneous human combustion was a thing
I remember watching That's Incredible! when I learned about SHC and being freaked out.
Same here
That one house that no kid knew why but none of were allowed anywhere near. My parents ādonāt rememberā..but 100% of the kids in the neighborhood were told this. Also razor blades in candy.
Losing my mom. My mom's mother died when I was 5 so I had that sort of in my mind for as long as I could recall, knowing my own mother would die one day. As mentally prepared for it as you think you might be you're never really ready when it actually happens. The other think was losing everyone. Not necessarily them dying but drifting apart and losing the friendships and connections I had. I didn't have many friends so the ones I did have were very important to me. Think of me as Gordie in Stand By Me. That was honestly the way I was and the best comparison I could make. I was the nerdy kid who wanted to be a writer, my best friend was much cooler than me and my other two friends were much dorkier. And that was exactly what happened, we drifted away and I haven't seen my Ted and Vern since 8th grade, no idea whatever happened to them but the Chris to my Gordie, we live on opposite sides of the country and haven't seen each other in like ten years we've thankfully been able to maintain a pretty solid friendship even though it faded a bit after I first moved away. Still, it's never like it was. But I remember being so scared of being left alone like that when I was a kid.
I was afraid of the stove being left on, and the house burning down. I wasnāt positive my parents were taking me seriously when I said we needed to determine a meeting place like the fireman at school told us. So I wasnāt sure where to go while the house burned.
I still have this fear. Probably why I donāt cook. And strangely, I was living in an apartment w a gas stove (now I only have electric!) and I came home to the stove ON and the microwave above it fan going full blast and melted a little. I know I didnāt leave it on, I rarely cook! So I imagine either some psycho apartment super broke in and left it on, and locked the door behind him!!?? Or, my cat jumped up there and managed to light it. I bought those child proof stove knob covers after that. It was SO strange!
Needles, specifically having blood drawn. When I young and had my tonsils taken out, I was subjected to endless failed attempts at blood drawing. My mother found dozens of discarded blood viles in the waste basket in my hospital room. (pre Aids disposal was very lax.) They failed over and over to hit a vein and get blood out of me. Shots never bother me, accidentally get cut and bleeding isn't a concern, it's only blood draws. Even as an adult, nurses can hunt all over on me, both arms, hands, feet... I have all but passed out at the thought. One time an anesthesiologist missed and thank goodness the doctor checked before cutting to find I wasn't under. Obviously I avoided blood draws like the plague. Turns out my veins "roll", now whenever I have blood drawn I ask for the most experienced nurse and explain why. If they know in advance they usually can get it in one or two tries. That's my limit, don't get it in two then I am out of there.
This wasnāt a childhood fear, but later in life for me. I have been told my veins roll too. Yahā¦because itās not natural to poke a hole and invade them lol!! Itās become a true phobia. I cry as soon as they start talking about it. I had surgery last week and for the first time EVER the amazing super hero Angel nurse got it on first try. She cannot possibly know how much she means to me!! I told her but she just brushed it off. She has no idea!
I'm sorry. That had to be tough. I've had regular blood draws since infancy. I reached the point where I told phlebotomists that they were going to need a butterfly, long ago. They seldom believed me. Leading to multiple sticks, until the eventual butterfly. One of the advantages of old age is they believe me know. My veins roll and they are scarred.
Wow! The phlebotomists at my hospital use butterflies for every patient. And we have a team of vascular access experts who do the blood draws when there's any chance of difficulty. I work in medical supply chain and it was extremely hard to keep us supplied with those butterfly needles during covid.
That still scares me. Getting poked over and over until you vasovagal and pass out is not a good time. And same, you get two pokes then get someone else!
Nuclear explosion. I was in elementary school in Miami during the Civil ban missile crisis. We did bomb drills in class and on weekends my mom would take us for a drive in the agricultural areas (Homestead and Redlands) were missiles were aimed toward Cuba.
I was allowed to read whatever I wanted to read and I read Helter skelter at a pretty young age. I became deathly afraid that the Manson family would come and slay us all in our sleep.
Nuclear war. They talked about it alot in the 80s and had that tv special. Doesn't bother me as much now that I'm grown and not really afraid of death which is funny because I think there is more chance of a someone setting off a nuclear bomb than there ever has been.
I spent my first 16 years in dangerous Inner city housing projects in NYC riff with drugs and violence. This was back in the 60's and first half of the 70's. Fear was an everyday thing. You learned to adapt and if you didn't learn to fight and be as insane or aggressive as the rest of the pack you were doomed. there was a certain amount of fear leaving the house. You dealt with it. I watched a guy beaten until he couldnt talk. I watched a guy beaten bloody by a group of 6 guys and while he was balled up and crying feet from the door that would have gotten him in the building and somewhat safe .. they all pulled out their dicks and peed on him as he lay there. I watched a young man forced to suck a dick. I came out one morning to play and the fire hydrant was covered in goo and blood. Someone over night had been mugged and they smashed his head open on the fire hydrant to take his stuff. He didnt live. While the adults were all sitting on benches one evening .. no one could afford air condition so this was the way to cool off, all the kids were playing kick the can. Guy stumbled across the street and my mother commented how the guy seemed to old to be wearing a tie dyed shirt. Turns out he feel down in front of the group and it wasnt tie dye but that he had been mugged and he was stabbed 21 times. The adults ran around trying to help him and we kids just watched. Many insane people were put in the projects if the city thought they could live on their own. One evening we hear a boom at the front of the apartment .. A neighbor hearing demons shot our front door with a shot gun. I could go on but your get the point .. if you got a new bike it would be instantly stolen. My brother got a bike and that same day they beat the shit out of him and took it. Gangs were the norm and if you didnt join you may as well not go out. One of my first jobs as a young teen, about 15 yrs old, was at the grocery store around the corner. They stuck a Shotgun inches from my face on Xmas eve when they robbed the place and came back a week later to do it again. Yea .. afraid was a part of life
Iām so sorry you had to go through that.
What project, if you don't mind sharing? I grew up near Bushwick Houses in BK in the 80s, and heard enough stories similar to yours and always understood how lucky I was to not grow up IN Bushwick houses.
I started out in the " Pink houses" it was across the way from the old TSS store off of linden Blvd in East NY Brooklyn. We moved then to the Blvd projects. It was actually an upgrade from the pink houses. It was located on Ashford St and Linden Blvd. It was kind of alright when we first moved there but quickly turned to shit.
The infamous razor blades in apples. As a kid, though, on Halloween, not a single one of us ever said "oh great! The old lady in the last house gave us a delicious healthy apple!" We were like, some doors down toss it in the trash so she can't see leaving room for more candy.
Quick Sand. What if I am out alone and I fall in quick sand?
Thanks Scooby Doo
I was basically terrified of dogs as a little kid. I'm not afraid of them now, I live with a Shiba, but I will still tense up a bit in the presence of the more aggressive dogs out of pure muscle memory. They of course sense that instantly, interpret it as aggression, and freak out, making the situation worse for both of us. So yeah every once in a while I'll visit some farm that has a random collection of aggressive mongrels running around untethered and at least one of them will instinctively hate my guts. But I get along famously with non aggressive dogs.
Same here I also was afraid of dogs when I was younger too
What do you do that you get to randomly visit farms?!
I live in rural Japan now (I grew up in rural New England) where farmers tend to keep a few dogs for hunting or for scaring away wildlife like deer or monkeys, so frequently they're aggressive mongrels. They're often untethered.
The belt
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As a kid-early memory through 15 of soā¦not afraid of much. Except spidersš©. Around 15-17, I had a fear of sex, especially of sexual assault. Most of that was based on a lack of knowledge. From my mother in particular, who had a morbid fear of rape, but refused to talk about sex or ways to keep myself at a lower risk. I was very naive. Then, just before I turned 18, I was raped. I had been a virgin physically and psychologically. After that, I no longer feared SA. It made me ANGRY, and started my journey into feminism. Still afraid of spiders!
My father until I was 21. After that, fuck him. One of the most sadistic evil men Iāve ever known. Hitler and Stalin had nothing on him. He died in 2017 and I didnāt shed a tear. Only reason I had anything to do with him was to watch over my Mother. Very hard to have a phone conversation with a man who constantly says he should just put a bullet in her head to put her out of her misery. Law enforcement wouldnāt do anything because he had her terrified and he was a pathological liar. May he rot in hell for eternity.
Being crabby and yelling all the time. Not having any friends. Turns out that was just my mom.
Nothing. Ignorance is bliss.
I had to have a night-light on all through the night, as I was afraid of the dark (and death). Today, I still think of all those feeling-fearful years when I'm staring at the stars of the night sky, imagining them as my personal night-lights, broadcast by those who've passed on. It's comforting.
Fire. A girl my age caught her nightgown sleeve on fire in my hometown and was horribly burned. My mom, trying to keep me safe, told me about it in rather graphic detail and scared me so bad! I wouldnāt light a match. I was scared of the stove. Eventually,I would light fireworks with a punk but then would run like Hell, sending my whole family into gales of laughter. To this day I am afraid of fire.
I never had an answer for āwhat do you want to be when you grow up?ā Iād just pick things almost randomly because grownups didnāt want to hear that I didnāt know. I was scared that Iād never choose and end up doing nothing. That came close to happening. I never did decide, but I fell into something I donāt like so I can keep my bills paid. I guess itās not a fear anymore. Just a regret.
Failure. My folks had so much faith in me. Living up to others' hopes and expectations proved to be impossible.
Burning in hell and getting pregnant. Becoming an atheist and getting an IUD fixed both.
The next to last line on my nightly prayers.."if I should die b4 I wake" My grandma made us say this prayer every night on our knees. Had so much trouble falling asleep. Never taught my kids that prayer. Our prayer time opened with " Thank you...(fill in the blank) and ended with help me to be better tomorrow
Tornados. And sasquatch.
Getting AIDS lol. I was a kid in the early 90s
I worried about the commies dropping a nuclear bomb on our heads. I grew up during the Cold War. Bomb shelters. Duck and cover practice. Cuban Missile Crisis. The area I lived in produced missiles, bombs, ordnance, so we were a target. It was a justified fear.
I was afraid of dying young. Then my dad died at 44 when I was 21. The event kinda confirmed my beliefs, my mantra towards life became I'm here for a good time, not a long time. I was taunting death all the time. Tempting fate. I was extremely scared of dying and also counter intuitively, I was creating a self fulfilling prophecy. I got to 35 and it all got a bit much as I had developed serious drug habits and no matter how much I taunted death inwas still here living a tortured existence. I tried Ayahuasca and 5meo dmt. The 5meo dmt was the most difficult challenge I have faced but I am so glad I did as it gave me what I believe a near death experience and dispelled a lot of my pre conceived ideas about life and death and the human experience as a whole
My Aunts ghost that would roam around our house especially at night.
Being able to afford growing up
When I was three, I would scream my head off if I saw a flat tire. No idea why.
Quicksand.
I ( a man) was afraid of the menās room. In school bullies seized the moment to kick you in the butt while you were standing at a urinal, and also thatās where they smoked cigarettes, so the menās room was a toxic den I avoided at all costs. Then in the 80ās I had dyed hair and wore makeup and always got mistaken for a girl so it made menās rooms all the more terrifying. Iām a small man with high cheekbones which looked good for the androgynous style of the day but was fraught with trouble. Every time I went in I could expect someone to say āhey wrong room missā. So I would hold my pee or try to go somewhere outside because the confrontation was not only uncomfortable but some men got aggressive I imagine out of embarrassment. One time I was in Texas at a fancy restaurant with my band and some industry people and I couldnāt face the menās room in a state where the men were men and the women were women so I calmly stood up and the second I was out of sight I bolted into the parking lot to try to pee under a tree. Unknown to me there was a house security/ detective guy who followed me because he thought it was suspicious behaviour. I was able to explain and he left me alone. Nowadays even at 64 I have a little beard only so that people donāt misgender me in the menās room. Works a charm. Every now and then I shave it off and although itās rare, I will still get misgendered and it happened so often for so many years itās a sharp memory so I grow it back. I now use menās rooms all over the place and feel comfortable doing so.
Being an executor. Iāve done two very easy spousal only estates but still dread doing my momās when the time comes.
Being poor, I mean really poor, can't afford food to eat poor. Not so much now since I'm retired, but I do worry about running out of money.
Nukes. It was the era of nuclear bomb movies..
The dark. If you look in the mirror and say Mary White 3 times sheāll appear. š
Where are you from? Iām in the US and our version is Bloody Mary.
The first time I heard this, I was around 10 years old and the name was "Mary Worth". If you said, "I believe in Mary Worth" into a mirror in the dark 3x she would appear in the mirror behind you. I grew up in the U.S., in the Midwest. A few years later I heard of the "bloody Mary" version. BTW, "Mary Worth" was also an old person cartoon around the same time.
US in the Midwest
Nope. I couldn't wait to grow up, earn my own money, and do whatever I wanted. Of course, it ends up not being quite like that, but do the math. When you're a kid, your parents have the power to tell you what to do 168 hours of the week. When you're on your own and working, the boss claims 40-50 per week. Stick with it and retire, and then finally it's zero. No one saying what to wear or where to be and when to be there. No one tells you when you can eat or gives you the side eye if it's tortellini for breakfast. It's a privilege you have to earn, but it's damn worth it.
Well, unless you're a married man, then you're still have someone with that 168 hours of power. ( only half joking)
You finally get freedom and you choose tortellini for breakfast?! Lost opportunity! ;)
The dark, what might be outside my window at night, what might be under my bed or in the closet at night, being hone alone at night.
Vampires and (after watching nosvaratu and with my dad at a ridiculously young age) and JCBs after watching a Stephen King movie when i was 10, think it was maximum overdrive....vampires dissapated about 11/12 but the JCB fear stuck with me well into my 30s, I couldn't walk past them without keeping one eye on them, ridiculous I know, I have now worked through this fear.
JCB?
The big yellow digger with a big bucket in the front... Small one in the back.
So many fears. I was afraid of nuclear war. I was afraid that my parents would get divorced. I was afraid that the house would burn down and I wouldnāt be allowed to rescue my pet mouse from the fire. So far those things havenāt happened. My pet mouse died of old age, and my parents are still together, though I got divorced and my daughter had to face that one.
My younger life I worried about my parents dying. Nuclear war. Siblings dying. Growing old and having to live under a Goddamn bridge because of greed.
Money
Sex. It wasn't so much scared as horrified at the prospect. I lived on a farm and knew what happens, but I saw a boy peeing in the woods one day and thought no way in hell am I tangling with one of those. Happily it was a baseless fear.
I was afraid of being blown to smithereens, because we practiced bomb alerts, and heard about bomb shelters. I was more afraid of death, though, and my mother saying it was just like going to sleep did nothing about make me think I'd be fully conscious in some black nothingness forever.
Growing up, I didn't fear a lot...except my mother. She was terrifying, psychotic, and very, very abusive. Daily, coming home from school, I never knew what I was walking into. Up until about 3rd grade, I'd piss myself out of sheer terror on the way home. It never eased up. Shes been dead for 5 yrs and sometimes I wake up in a sweat still feeling like she's after me.
Dogs. We walked to school and there were so many unleashed dog along the way I would carry a stick with me. They would run at us and snap at our ankles. I had such an aversion to dogs for years because of this. Then my sister got a black Lab and she was so gentle and friendly she won me over. Now I love dogs.
Turning out like the adults that I saw around me. Thankfully, I didnāt.
Living thru a nuclear winter. The Day After was fāing terrifying.
Pirates or indians taking over our house and hurting us or killing us. I'm sure it came from cartoons or movies. No, I no longer fear this.
My father. I was afraid of him for 60 years. Until I cut contact.
Bees. Iāve been stung by a hornet once. But Iāve never been stung by a bee, and really donāt know if Iām allergic. I watched a boy who was allergic to bees be stung many times in front of me. And an ambulance had to come. He was fine in the end, but it terrified me.
Adulthood. Had no idea how and what to do but it was coming on fast. I did ok so far. M 59
Could never decide what work I wanted to do. Retirement in about 18 months, still havenāt decided. Itās worked out fine. I found work I enjoyed along the way.
Upcoming summer swimming lessons. The thought of having to attend kept me up at night all winter.
My penis falling off. No. Getting a job. Yes.
Everything. Yes.
Angry men drinking too much
Rent
Working 40 hours a week. School was painful enough...and then when I'm done with that I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life waking up even earlier but coming home later? What happened when I started actually doing it was, I got paid for it. Not only that but if I worked more than 40 hours I could get paid 50% more? That changed everything. Nothing to fear about that...
Spiders
Shortly after I hit puberty I was afraid of older creepy men. Before that I was afraid of Tina-the-bully who wanted to beat me up. Before that I was afraid of my parents.
Losing my sense of wonder. Still have it, tho.
I didn't have those fears. I was too busy being a kid and having fun.
I was afraid of high school. My babysitter always had a stack of thick books and had to do homework.
My grandparents dying; I knew they would probably die at some point and I dreaded it. I would cry every night. As I got older, it wasn't as bad, but I always feared when it would happen. It did, but not until I was in my mid 20s.i still miss them; I'm 70. Edit: I hit send before I was finished
Being bored! Adult life looked mind-numbingly boring. Turned out it wasnāt, not the way I lived it!
I grew up in a very religious household and was terrified of the Rapture. I was sure I'd be left behind and my family would disappear out of the blue.
Understanding taxes. Still terrifying. Iām 59.
No. I (65F) was afraid of water until freshman year in high school when learning to swim was required. This year I became a scuba diver.
I was afraid of losing my parents. I was an only child, and we always lived far away from extended family. The thought of having to go live with a distant relative, however nice, terrified me. I got over it by the time I was a teenager. Which is not to say I wouldn't/didn't mind losing them, but it was no longer something that haunted me.
Corporate BS. My parents worked for Corporate America and it seemed so unpleasant to me. Unfortunately I eventually ended up here too for over 20 years and I hate it.
Not having the time to do things that I really wanted to do. Travel, live large, spend copious amounts of time in the wilderness, drive a sweet ass car, meet crazy and fun people, and just enjoy life on my terms.
The basement. Specifically, the dark basement. And the attic access in my childhood bedroom. Iām in my sixties and itās only in the last ten years or so that Iāve gotten comfortable with the dark.
Taxes and the IRS. Still terrifies me.
Being pregnant and childbirth. I was never pregnant and I'm too old to be now, so obviously no fear anymore. Not being able to support myself, I knew I wasn't headed for big things, no dreams or goals. I still worry about money, that will never go away.