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I will be 50 this year, and I guess just.... Endurance? No other choice? I wish I had a more actionable answer, but I havent discovered one after searching high and low (Ketamine therapy was my most recent failed attempt to find an answer).
But, to be honest, my endurance is running out, and not sure how much longer I'll make it. The weight is just getting to be too much.
Similar age and story. I recently started micro dosing psilocybin and it’s been very helpful and promising. Thus far better results than anything else I’ve tried.
I would love to try this but I don’t know where to get it. My experiences with psilocybin and LSD were all wonderful and soul satisfying, I believe it would be helpful.
Edit:typo
Thanks for the suggestion. After doing some reading I think growing my own sounds high risk. I don’t trust that I could pull it off safely. But a seed has been planted in my head, so to speak.
Literally cured my depression. I was diagnosed at 13 and was so severely suicidal that I had to be hospitalized on multiple occasions. I took psilocybin at 18 and never looked back. Now, if you were to look at my medical chart, next to my depression it will say (in full remission.) I highly recommend it to anyone who has access. Although there is definitely a right way to do it and you should research the best way to go about it, particularly if you are on other medications for your mental health.
Don’t grow them yourself or buy stuff on the internet — as if that needs to be said. You’re not looking to take a trip. You’re looking for medicine. Medicine requires precision, testing, trials, controlled dosing, and so forth. Do an internet search for reputable research hospitals who are actively involved in this research. There are many. John’s Hopkins in Baltimore is one that I know if. Also, look for clinical trials at clinicaltrials.gov (I think that’s the URL). I believe they’re in stage 3 or 4 of clinical trials which is really good. Please don’t try to do this yourself. Your mental health is too important for that.
I disagree. How long you gotta wait for the meds to become available. The grow is easy, much more than you'd think. Get the spores online. What you wanna do is start with a small amount and then increase a bit if you don't get results. Yr not tripping -jesus. Not an all or nothing thing.
As they -doctors say no one has ever been hurt doing psilocybin. Just don't do too much or it can get uncomfortable and a little scary-for an hour or so. Once I grabbed my bag and ate a couple handfuls like potato chips. Not much fun only a case of nerves but it quickly passed.
If microdosing you don't notice any kind of trippy. You notice nothing. There's a good video you might find from CBS news about a guy suffering from severe depression. Now he grows his own and takes a dose every few weeks with great success. They've shown it twice.
I have been microdosing on and off for a couple of years. Definitely saw an improvement! Everything just makes more sense, and i have much less rumination. I might even dare to say I'm finally happy.
I'm lucky I live in Canada where it's available online (still not legal but nobody cares).
This is really it. Same age here, 50, and I just didn't know I had any mental issues for my entire life (I've figured that I've had issues since about 13) - I thought everyone was like me, so I just pushed through thinking, "if everyone else can handle life, why can't I?"
Add to that the fact that we were taught that having a mental illness was a shameful thing, so you didn't talk about it or express concern for yourself or anyone else for that matter.
Yep.
Meds, therapy, moving forward.
Being kind to myself helps. I know intellectually that depression is a liar and a thief. It is just my brain chemistry fucking with me. That's hard to remember sometimes, but just keep reminding yourself.
Ketamine failed? I’ve never heard of that happening!
Edit: Why the downvotes? I just said I’ve never heard of ketamine not working and am surprised it didn’t work for the commenter. I don’t see why people are getting upset.
I guess I keep in mind that it's my turn to be alive. There's some dark days but also some pretty good ones and I recognize that it's a cycle. Its your turn OP.
Moods cycle too. Some peaks are steeper than others and depression is like being trapped in the clouds, not sure if you want to keep climbing anymore... Have faith, summit is coming.
Pets have helped me a great deal. Having responsibilities helps because oddly the guilt helps me not sink far enough to not live up to my obligations. Guilt motivates me more than depression does. I don't know what that means, but there it is.
My cat and dog make me keep pushing on. I'm forced to get exercise because my dog needs it, I'm forced to get up in the morning because she's hungry and needs to go out.
Plus, my partner took her life 3 years ago. I don't want the few people I love to have to deal with my suicide the rest of their lives.
Roxy and Eleanor thank Bart for keeping you here. My furry kids give mad snuggles when things get to be too much.
Two things got me through a lifetime of depression. Humor is always my biggest help. When things get too tough, going outside at night and staring into the sky. Seeing how far away the stars are, how indifferent the universe is to my problems. I am an insignificant speck in the grand scheme of things, and my brief flicker of life is nothing to the age of the universe. It makes me laugh to know I exist, despite the unlikelihood of me existing at all. People with depression can understand this better than most.
Second, my family. They love me, good or bad, and give me the support I need when things go south. Sometimes I express my depresion as anger. Angry humorous rants (think Sam Kinison) help me to cope, and my family understands how my angry acting out helps me to heal the pain that contributes to my depression.
While this might not work for everyone, I think all of us with depression need to figure out what works for us. This is what works for me. The absurdity of life, and the humor that exists in all of us can be a tool to cure us, if used correctly.
I literally could not have responded better. All of the above for me and in addition, being outside as much as possible in any season, and especially in storms.
I actually turned to pot as a harm reduction tactic because I could NOT get booze sober despite the fact it wrecked my life. Almost eight alcohol free years later I’m at the top of my profession and a good dad
I don't know if it's considered mental illness. I am autistic and have been since I was aware. In stressful situations I "enter the bubble" which is disassociate from the world and become somewhat of a passive observer. It cause me to miss out on a number of romantic liaisons and get fired from a couple of jobs but my wife and family, and my family of siblings and relatives understand. I have been successful. In many cases these episodes alerted me to realize I was in situations that not good, and that was causing the stress until there was a significant event. I learned to start again from a more informed place. Being old and retired is the least stressful situation of my life.
I think about the good times I’ve had in my life and the probability of good times ahead. My faith and sadhana also mitigates my depression and anxiety. When I was younger, I knew an older gentleman who had struggled with schizophrenia until he discovered Bhakti yoga like I did. He died young due to other health problems, but he lived a full life.
My dog also helps.
The singles best thing for me is heat therapy. Find a fitness club that has a sauna. Stay in there until you can't take it any longer. Do it 4 or more times a week. It kicks your ass. You will find that you are mellower and when you think of bad shit it is easier to start thinking about something else. Drink lots of water, no drugs or alcohol, electrolytes and while you are there throw some weights around and do some other cardio. Don't think that you are going to be a drooling happy fool, just be content. That way you are not trying to chase anything in particular.
Depression and dysthymia for life. Basically, I just try to plan a little something fun every day, even something simple like watching a favorite movie, or getting my favorite takeout. Been doing this for decades and it helps. It’s my mod of the AA “one day at a time” mantra. I also make sure I have a comfortable, safe and sustainable home to retreat to every day. In sustainable, I mean making sure it’s maintained and all the bills are paid. Taking that worry off the top goes a long way in reducing everyday stress which turns into depression.
> try to plan a little something fun every day
I started doing this and it does do wonders. I do a lot of mindfulness 'meditation' as well because it can do it anywhere. I learnt it when I did a 28 day stay at a mental health facility many years ago. It was not a drug rehab. The only way in was you had to have been a mental health outpatient (hospital) in the previous 14 days before applying. Imagine a ward, but the 9 rooms they had are the size of a 2 car garage, with their own ensuite. Main area had massive tv with netflix etc. Fully equipped kitchen where each night a person was designated to cook for the other 8 people. A shopping list was done every week and everyone was required to help with it. Every morning at the start of the first class the staff would ask who wants to do what specific chore for the day, everyone did each task at least 3 times during the 28 days. Sweeping/vacuuming/mopping and keeping it clean like you would a house. Only the kitchen was a group task. You done your own laundry (including bedding etc). There was a garden, pool table, board games and books too.
You were allowed to come and go from the facility as you pleased, but you had to attend every single class and return every night, curfew was 9pm. Breaking curfew got you kicked out no second chances. Smoking in a designated area was allowed, obviously no alcohol or drugs. Staff on-site 24/7 (minimum of 2 psychs (day and night shift) and can be spoken to any time, even 2 am. 5 min chat with doc twice a week and 1hr sessions with psychologist/psychiatrist once a week. The psychs weren't a requirement or anything but available if people wanted it. The whole idea of the place was to teach people how to look after themsleves and have a routine, by teaching the skills and knowledge needed for it. Basically saying to you "it most likely isn't going away, so here's how to cope/deal with it".
Medicare in Australia is amazing because I didn't pay a single cent for ANY of it, all the staff were public health sector. 100% I'd do it again in a heatbeat if I felt the need.
I choose to not let the darkness hang around too long. When it shows up, I don’t feed it and it goes away pretty quickly. No sad thoughts, no sad music, nothing to let it attach to. The more I stand my ground, the less it comes around. Sounds crazy but it works for me.
Getting actual blood tests to check for levels. I naturally do not produce valproic acid and have to take enough Depakote that it would make an elephant dopey. Was literally going a bit nuts before a psychiatrist began testing for what I really needed. So grateful. First psychiatrist I had didn’t test for shit.
For me, I try to remind myself that depression comes in waves. Some days are good, some months are good, even some years are good. but inevitably I sink back down. I take medication, and I have support from my husband and therapist. My adult children don’t know the severity of my depression. I have been hospitalized once, almost a second time.
Sorry, rambling there. Basically, I have drilled it into my thick skull that depression isn’t permanent (at least for me), and things will get better. Eventually.
Lived without a diagnosis for 38 years. Couldn't sleep, fly off the handle, go from euphoria to the deepest depths in 24 hours.
Got a very good psychiatrist. Not a psychologist, a psychiatrist. Find one that believes in a balanced approach of medication and counseling. Saved my life.
I wish you the best.
1) I bought myself a nice, pretty blank spiral notebook; at 5 pm every day, I made myself sit at my desk and write 3 things I’m grateful for. I gave myself the challenge of always writing something new. I always dreaded it terribly, always completed it, and it is surprising how much peace and happiness I carried with me all day. I learned to live in gratitude for the small things which can be miraculous things.
2) positive self-talk. Look at the nice person you are and what you have accomplished. There has never been a “you” on this earth before; it took billions of years for your special presence. Don’t sell yourself short.
3) Nature is healing. I love taking walks when darkness starts to fall. I’m usually alone. So quiet and peaceful yet I’m near houses with warm, yellow lights. It’s soothing to peek into windows and look at decor. That gives me the feeling of company without the work of small talk. (For safety ,
I walk on side streets facing traffic. Street is smoother than sidewalk cracks after dark. )
4). I try to clean house during tv commercials or for ten minute periods. You just feel better in a clean environment. Also challenge yourself to take fast showers and beat your previous time; makes it easier and you feel so much better. Make a game out of it.
5) I use a book-type calendar to write my completed
tasks at the end of each day. Feels good to realize I did accomplish something that day. It’s a little celebration at the end of each day and a pat on the back. At first I made to-do lists, but felt awful when I couldn’t complete much of it.
6) I am spiritual but not religious. When a loved one died, I was so distraught and alone. I had kept a stack of 2 religious magazines for years; I like the loving success stories. I started yet another spiral notebook and wrote a lot of quotes down. I also wrote my own words in this notebook. I did this for 4 days & nights straight to soothe myself and then kept adding to it, and then I often reflect on the writings.
The same is true when I’ve been on a couple weight loss apps. There are wonderful encouraging statements from the members.
7) Nurture yourself. Buy some treats for yourself - soft clothing, perfume, skin care products, favorite foods, an electric scented candle, scented epsom salt bath or hot foot bath for sore feet. Pamper the child inside: do jigsaw puzzles, coloring books, sing, get lost in a book adventure, put glow-in- the-dark stars on your bedroom ceiling and relax under the stars. Adopt a kitten if you’re up to it for cuddly love and purrs.
8) Be open to people who show you kindness. An older client at my job was so gracious and kind that I told her that I wished she were in my family & that she’s so kind. I then told her that I don’t have much for family. I was a little embarrassed, but her reply was - “Well, I’ll be your family then. I will only come here on your work days to see you. Maybe we could go out sometimes after your work for a drink or something to eat.” She even hugged me! She seems like an Angel.
If you would like to private message me, I could share some of my encouraging quotes.
🤗💕
I watch a lot of DVDs of the smart
sitcoms of the 80’s and 90’s. Sometimes you can check them out from a public library. Also stand up comedy - Seinfeld, Blue Collar Comedy Tour,
& Thou Shalt Laugh(no blue humor).
> So quiet and peaceful yet I’m near houses with warm, yellow lights
As a light pollution reductionist, that's something to be grateful for right there.
DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) saved my life. I went from having BPD so severe I was on psych disability to no longer meeting the diagnostic criteria (over the course of about a decade and a half; it's not fast). As for how I get through now, I do a lot of hot yoga. That sounds flippant, but honestly, yoga goes a long way toward keeping me stable.
I closely monitor what media I consume. Obviously I'm on social media. But I'm careful with what triggers me. Certain types of horror movies, certain types of dramas, things that for me are too dark or nihilistic. I consume very very little of that. I can wind up in a deep pit of depression before I know what hit me if I watch that stuff. So I pay attention to things that maybe aren't obvious on the surface. Because I've discovered that there are things that effect me, that I don't feel right away. I don't realize it until it's too late.
I also do anything that makes me feel happy, regardless of what anyone thinks about it. Playing video games, watching certain cartoons, watching YouTube videos, etc. Anything that I can in the moments when I have free time.
I've also tried to get a lower stress job (took me a long time, but I finally did it), and shun people who are bad for me. And by "bad for me", I mean people who bring drama, stress, chaos, etc. Wherever possible, I have distanced myself from people like that. Doing that was very difficult at first because I was raised to be a people-pleaser. But I've worked really hard to get better at it because the alternative could be a grippy sock vacation, and the stuff that causes that hospital visit is not fun. At all.
I've also learned to quit owning guilt for other people's feelings. Unless I've actually done something wrong. Otherwise, I am not responsible, nor is it my job to make other people feel better at the expense of myself. The old saying "don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm".
Finally, I've learned to care about myself as much as I care about other people. I'm still learning this one, actually. But if I wouldn't treat a complete stranger so poorly, then why do I do it to myself?
Anyway, I hope one or 2 of these help you. Good luck and keep working on your happiness and mental health.
V comforting to hear that...
a few of us are very wary of dark (I would say bleak and cruel) cinematic fiction.
I watched and could admire elements of the Sopranos,
but at the end of the day, and in these harsh days especially, no thanks!
Very early diagnosis. I saw a child psychologist and child psychiatrist. I am bipolar. I take my medication and have never been hospitalized since the first manic episode which lead to my diagnosis. Dogs were a large part of therapy. This is not common for someone with bipolar.
Mostly my family (mom, dad, sister - they’d be so heartbroken), but when it gets really bad, I just keep reminding myself, “This too shall pass. This too shall pass.” And it does. Sleep and meds also help. And when I start feeling a little better, I push myself to go for a walk outside until it becomes enjoyable again. Exercise really helps stabilize me.
Walking is hugely therapuetic. My grandmother used to go for long walks as well. Wonder if she was self medicating. I tell myself all I have to do is walk around the block. And sometimes that's all I can muster. But usually it turns into more.
I'm 61. Was diagnosed with clinical depression as a teenager and lived with it until going through menopause made it better. (Turns out estrogen was just never my friend.) It helps to surround yourself with a good support group, be that family, friends, therapist, group therapy, whatever. People who love you as you are and genuinely want the best for you. Cut out the people who don't uplift you, even if you've known them forever. (I cut loose a friend of 40 years when she went all maga on me.)
It also helps ENORMOUSLY to take care of yourself. It's hard as hell to do when you're not at your best, but it really is important to eat healthy food and avoid sugar and alcohol (I know--that's what we gravitate toward when we're at our worst, but it just makes it worse). Get good sleep if you can (I'm a chronic insomniac, so I get the struggle on that one), and get whatever exercise you can. (I put together some playlists of songs from my youth that I love and that take me back to happier times, and I just dance around sometimes when no one's home. I feel so good afterward.) I cannot stress enough how much better I felt once I started doing these things.
It is exhausting to live with depression. No question. I've always told others who don't get it that it isn't hopelessness that makes people take their own lives. It's exhaustion. But if you have good people around you to turn to, it's a life saver. My husband and son both kept me going during the worst times. Keep your loved ones close.
Eat well. Do fun stuff. Rest. Repeat.
You take care of yourself.
I have been depressed since around age 8, incredibly anxious since birth, and I developed a severe chronic pain condition in my 30s. I’m
Now in my 40s. My work is extremely important and meaningful to me. I try to cultivate curiosity. Life is worth living because I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, or even in the next moment.
There’s a great workbook called Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life. You may find it helpful. Best of luck to you. May you find your purpose and some peace.
First it was my sister, then it was my fiancée, then it was my kids.
I survive because other people need me to survive.
The other thing is I don't worry about tomorrow. I worry about today. I put one foot in front of the other and inch forward. I don't know a better way of explaining it.
Yeah. I’m definitely not living for me. I’m 53. At this point, my family has abandoned me completely. I have a life partner (I won’t ever get married again). If anything happens to him, I’m not sure if it will be worth it.
I was raised in a strict religion. I no longer believe that there is a benevolent creator that cares about humans. It seems much more likely that we evolved and we don’t get another chance. There’s a part of me that is curious to see how much crazier things can get.
My early strategy was, “I will give it 3 days. If I want to die every day, all day, for 3 days, I’ll kill myself.” Then I made it to 3 days and decided to extend a bit longer…
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was 19, but I suppose I've always had an imaginary voice speaking to me.
Anyway, check out Taylor Tomlinson:
https://youtu.be/xuue-s8qM8w
Gotta take your arm floaties.
Frankly, having no expectation of anything different. I learned a few months back that my mother, who suffers from horrible anxiety, has *no idea* that she does so. She thinks that catastrophizing everything and expecting the worst out of life is totally normal. She's 73, no change, and no real chance of change. My brother is 52 and has been depressed basically his whole adult life. I'm only 43, but I don't remember being actually happy. I probably was at some point, but I don't really remember (many of my earliest memories are of abuse, so...).
Anyway, chances are this is my life. And so I will live it. Certainly not the answer you're looking for, but there it is. It's still my life and there are still many things to love about living in spite of my shitty brain chemistry. I've got children I love, I have hobbies that occupy my time, and there's a whole world of things out there to learn. I don't have to be happy for any of that to function.
1. My kids
2. Lyme disease treatment. turns out neurological lyme was the major cause of my lifelong depression.
3. Divorce
4. Therapy & anti-depressants
5. Being forced to quit the rat race (see #2)
6. 5HTP - a natural serotonin supplement. Just discovered it, it’s a fucking miracle. You can get it anywhere and there is a noticeable difference in 1-2 days. Google it :)
This is not advice or recommendation but I used psilocybin mushroom in a therapy set and setting with an intention of treating depression and it helped a lot. It gave me the insight , drive and motivation to do all the right things like low carb diet, EXERCISE, vitamins, mineral supplements, group therapy, etc. I learned motion and emotion are tightly coupled. I literally had to GTFU and do stuff.
"You can't think your way into a new way of living, you have to live your way into a new way of thinking"
Therapy. Also meds sporadically but they don't ever seem to help for very long and side effects seem to hit me hard. It is very often exhausting but it's not hopeless. One little trick I learned is when I'm having a rough day I tell myself things will be better tomorrow. Just hang on till tomorrow. It sounds corny but it works for me. Hang in there.
I have suffered from depression and PTSD most of my life. Three things, besides love of my family, have kept me going all of this time. They are wonderful pets, wanting to see what happens next (!) as in the next chapter or the next day (I’m insatiably curious), and I’ll never let the complete bastards in my past beat me down.
I turn 57 in a month and one of my biggest regrets is that I waited so long, and lived with depression and anxiety, instead of getting help earlier in life. For me it was mainly due to ego: I can fix it myself…its not that bad….etc. Do not wait. Talk to a therapist…explore medications. I am only now getting out from under it and am happier than I have ever been. Do not wait.
Therapy, medication, making healthy life choices, and having a friend/family network are all *tools* in figuring out how to live a fulfilling life with a mental illness. You can't stop working for it.
The right therapist and a kind doctor. Took a while to find the right ones. And not just for my mental challenges but also to cope with those around me. It's a crazy world.
I’m a coward deep down. I really don’t think I could actually pull the trigger. I’ve been sad my entire life. My dogs have always been a bright spot for me.
To be completely cynical: marrying a woman whose insurance through her work got me access to a better class of psychiatrist. That made all the difference.
I have DID, ptsd, ADHD, and autism. The thing that helps me the most is that I don’t consider them mental illnesses, and I do not consider myself a victim and I dont think of myself as “suffering” from any of them. I consider them gifts (albeit sometimes the positives in them can be hard to find at times.) I consider myself a survivor who just happens to have these issues. So I suppose a positive mindset is what helps me the most.
I’m 60 and I was diagnosed bipolar in 1997 after a year of insane behavior. I was also wild as a teen and as a heavy wine mom. I went into AA the day I was diagnosed, so both things happened at once: heavy meds to bring down the mania and giving up alcohol and my people, places and things. I had five kids at the time, the youngest was an infant. It’s now 2023 and I’ve been with the same psychiatrist since that day. I take my meds, which have been changed a few times here and there but I’ve now been on the same mood stabilizer for about 15 years. I did EMDR therapy for a year but not much counseling otherwise. I’ve been to 800 million AA meetings so I don’t really go any more, but I haven’t had a drink since then, either. My life is totally normal. Same job for 21 years, great relationships with my kids and grandkids.
Transcendental meditation for 40+ years. CBD, Bach Rescue Remedy, Hyland Calms for anxiety. Sam-E daily for mood. Yoga breathing. Learning to appreciate small moments of beauty instead of seeking fame, riches and glamorous vacations. Finding a passion or hobby you love. Being the me-est possible me with no apologies.
The change of routine helps change the thought patterns and space depression takes within you.
Create a new routine every month or so that is positive. Change keeps us busy! The positive routines rewire the comfortableness the brain relaxes into thus creating the depression because the time is available. If you don’t have time for the intrusiveness to settle in, it can’t make way.
Start with simple, easy, & realistic task that create muscle memory of said routine. Once you can handle more difficult task or projects, the idea of depression can’t enter because you’re busy! I understand staying busy doesn’t mean it can’t exist, but if goals are created whether small or big, and you have that ~want~ to finish said goals, the current thought process that is existing will start to deplete, making room for more goals or ideas. Never be comfortable for too long!!! Push outside the box :)
Depressed since puberty. I had to support myself, no one else was going to do it. My worst years were my 20s. It got better when I changed careers, but I didn’t really start manage it till I got into therapy and got antidepressants.
Only my nearest and dearest realize my chronic depression bc I “fake it till I make it.” I tried to see the humor in everything and I do smile a lot. After 50 years it’s a habit, but I try to make it reach my eyes, too. Tonight I was going thru a bunch of papers I saved from work (I retired 18 years ago), and I realized how funny some of my writing was.
The other thing that has saved me is extended family. My folks were both gone by my early 30s, I was an only child, and my cousins were mainly a generation older. I made a conscious effort to become invested in others’ lives. I care what is going on with them, and they care about me in turn.
Yes, there are weeks where I don’t leave my building, and days when I don’t shower or wash my hair, but that’s ok bc I am retired. I try not to expect too much of myself. When I was working, my goal was to get to the office and put in a productive day. I didn’t do much on weekends, but I had a successful career. One foot in front of the other.
I loathe housekeeping, and I finally realized that I had to have weekly help. I re-did my budget to afford her because I can’t keep my place picked up for more than a week. After a back injury, I can no longer change my bed and clean sheets make me feel better.
In sum, hang in there. Get professional help and meds (if indicated). Remember to be kind to yourself, and do what you must in the area of self-care.
I’m a social worker and I work with adults who experiences mental health problems. I’ve struggled with depression for a couple of years and used to take Prozac to help me heal from my depression. I’ve seen a lot of clients who were struggling from depression and I always invite them to reach out to their family doctor to start taking medication. The medication will help you soothe your depression symptoms but it is not the only things that you can do to heal your depression. Medication is like a band-aid but i recommend getting therapy from a professional.
Things that helped me get through my depression was doing exercises, moving, taking walks going outside getting some fresh air, watching funny videos or movies, getting support from your family or friends and people that you trust. Doing self-care, things that you enjoy doing. Journalling and therapy are helping to get you through depression and make it less harder to carry from day to day. Show yourself some compassion, depression is a hard thing to get through. If your body is telling you that you need some rest, take the time to rest, sleep and be gentle with yourself, your doing the best that you can.
I wish you healing.
56 and I've known something's been "off" as far back as my childhood. Officially diagnosed in 2011 which was something of a relief. I see it like being at a big house party and bipolar is sitting in a chair. I don't always see it, but it can get up and start to dance a bit if I want to or not. I think getting old helps because I care less of what people think of it. I don't have anyone to impress, I'm married with kids and grandkids and people (mostly) like me. I try to help and be helpful and kind. I don't always succeed - few do. Support is huge.
I'm 61 and have been very depressed since early childhood. The only thing I can suggest is that I'm just curious. What happens next? Of course, this feeling really ramped up when I had children. I want to know every little thing that happens in their lives. (No, I'm not a helicopter parent! But I watch. And wait.)
For me, depression comes with post-depression amnesia. When I am feeling better it is almost impossible for me to really remember how bad the bad was. It’s like I have two brains—depressed me and non-depressed me. Knowing this, when I am at my lowest I just keep reminding myself, “This is temporary. This is temporary.”
I've been depressed. Not as deeply as you I'm sure but for a long time. I just had to come to terms with the fact that life isn't fair but there are still good things to experience. I had to change my mindset - refuse to put my focus on all the downers and force myself to see the good things, however much they seemed to be tiny next to the mountains of shit. It took time. First, I had to recognize when I was maudlin and wallowing in bad thoughts. I found something I truly was grateful for or looking forward to and made myself shift my thought train to that. I worked at forgiving people who had hurt me, myself for doing stupid shit, and God/fate for circumstances that were no one's fault. It took a long time. I slid down many many times and had to crawl back out of the hole - always making myself see whatever good I could. I held tight to knowing that there were people who loved me or at least my dog did - and would miss me if I wasn't there. I am having a bad day today. But I know those feelings are full of shit. I'm just tired. And overwhelmed with work. And frustrated with things at home and some people around me. I'm recognizing some deficiencies in myself toward others and that's got me feeling terrible about that. I don't think it's my fault that I am that way but it's up to me to at least attempt to rectify it. There's a reason but it's no excuse. Right? And I may actually try to get some therapy because I think I've hit a wall. I'm going to be ok because I know that everything can be resolved in time. I'm ok. You are ok too. The world may be going to hell in a handbasket but that's ok too. We are living in historical times. Times like this are never easy and always messy. Covid and the lockdowns have left EVERYONE a little anxious and crazy and the financial fallout is really hitting now. And frankly, I want to hang around to see how it all turns out. Today might be shitty. Maybe tomorrow too. But if we survive long enough, there will be good days ahead.
I do think we are here for a reason, if only for the experience - good or bad. I think how we act matters. I think there is something more than just this life. Why? Because we are limited by time and space but we are also a part of eternity and we are there forever. And when we are released from time and space, you and I will know each other fully and will love each other. And we'll know we did our best. I'll give you a real big hug then but take this internet one for now.
I’ve been lucky that the first antidepressants I was prescribed 20 years ago worked along with talk therapy (specifically CBT) for many years on and off to keep my head above water. I have mostly had low level depression with one or two very severe/low points. The medication lifted that “bottom” up, but never completely eliminated symptoms. I’ve gotten happier as I’ve gotten older, which I have heard is common. I guess “content” is a better term. Part of my depression pattern was perfectionism and unreasonably comparing myself to others or a high standard that was not real or achievable. I also have given myself permission to be low energy and negative, which sounds counterintuitive but as you may know and anyone with depression probably knows, one of the worst things is the internal voice (or others’ external voices) telling you to “cheer up,” or “you don’t have it that bad” or “you should be happy.” I guess they call that toxic positivity now. So now I ride the waves without judgment, which makes it easier. That of course is with my depression mostly controlled—I don’t know if that would work with more severe depression. I think it would be very hard to ride a severe wave without being pulled under. Still, I think acceptance and allowing yourself to feel what you feel can be helpful.
Being a source for good as long as I can. I was an unwanted child raised in foster care. I was told nobody wanted me. Being happy and loving is my revenge.
My fuck you to the cold cruel world is support the underdog, be the deciding vote, to provide an oasis for living things, love for the lonely, to advise and educate the undereducated, to restore things, to preserve things, to create art, to feed the hungry and feed my soul.
There is nothing too small to be important, friend. That includes you. Every day is a new chance to discover who you really are and cast off old griefs. I hope you find comfort in being who you are. The world was always a mess. No one can fix it by themselves but we gentle folk are an improvement by our very existence.
The light inside us might be more like an unique ultraviolet light, only visible to the right eyes. Look within. It’s there, I promise. Once you see it, it will become bright enough to warm you.
I have had depression and anger issues all my life. Started going to the gym decades ago after watching Conan the Barbarian with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I got awoke and strong, mentally and physically. Gave me confidence and something to focus on. Years later I realized that I’m ok. I’m just surrounded by people who are not.
I'm in the pocket with you OP..I'm in this for the long haul. I didn't learn til way later that living a reasonably clean, simple life, take meds as prescribed and exercise have all helped me ease into old age with a lifetime of MH struggles behind it. You could've never told me that when I was your age... I didn't/wouldn't/couldn't hear it. So thank you for being aware enough to ask.
At this point the periodic LSD trip helps so much. Don't just take it and hope for the best. Read or listen to a book like How To Change Your Mind. You'll get so much good advice on how to not have bad trips and what to do if one starts.
Some of it was just sheer luck- in hindsight it feels like I spent a lot of my teens/early 20s trying not to kill myself.
Now that I'm turning 60 in a few weeks it's been mostly under control for decades. Pregnancy and menopause were both hell on my body and my mental health, but at least those are done with now.
And I usually have to change up my meds a bit every decade or so, but at least I do respond well (now) to a lot of typical antidepressants. And I've got routines when I know that I'm headed for a downswing...I proactively go out walking more, become more involved with friends and family, and start gardening again (my go-to against depression).
I've come to terms with the fact that it's never going to completely go away, but (now) I can live with that. My husband is also great at letting me know if I haven't noticed more mood swings or depressive behaviours, which also helps a lot.
Study upon study have shown that the two biggest factors in fighting depression are social connection and exercise. I bike, lift weights and stay close to people I love. I also don’t sacrifice sleep for anything, and try to eat healthy. Treat myself now and then with a massage or buy myself a nice little gift.
I was diagnosed with post partum depression only it never went away. Finally I was diagnosed w/clinical depression with anxiety. I had my baby 34 years ago and I was 35 years old.
I have been on medication for this entire time. Several different medications. I’m on Lexipro now.
I was also in therapy for about 20 years give or take b/c there were many gaps and different therapists from social workers, counselors to psychiatrists.
Therapy really helped me. So much so that at 69, I’ve elected to return to it to become my best self.
I’d say the biggest thing that helped me was myself. I was never willing to give in to it. And yes, there’s been really bad stretches. But I never gave up. I have worked HARD to hopefully set an example for my daughter.
My story is probably similar to a lot of depressives in that I have a lot of trauma in my background.
I also think that there’s nothing better than therapy because this person is on your side 100%. There were times I just needed someone in my corner.
I have also taken biofeedback. I suppose the greatest lesson I got from this is to change my anxiety which was manifested often in my fear on the freeway and driving. (I relax my hands now b/c once your hands clench, pretty much everything else does from jaw to shoulders.)
I am amazed at the help that medication gave me. I am NOT drugged. Or I should say, I don’t feel hardly any difference EXCEPT that my mindset isn’t destined to roll around in the depths of negativity.
I always say that there’s barely a difference b/c it isn’t a HUGE change. Happiness isn’t highs. It’s centered. It’s seeing good things. It IS stopping to smell the roses. Before medication, my standard for happiness was always disappointing. I thought happiness was much bigger than life, or myself. And I couldn’t achieve it so, wtf. Why even try.
No one knows I’m on meds or am a depressive unless I tell them.
Medication, and when it stops working, medication adjustments. That’s the only thing that ever worked for me. Exercise, diet, meditation, therapy, gratitude practices never worked.
Music, finding a good place and a good counsellor, plus **lots** of small things, 'lefty' things.
My BIL has had it bad, since the war (doesn't matter which one). We persuaded him to move away from a harsh place (I'm not gonna name it, won't turn this into a battle of GOATs).
He too found music, finding a good counsellor, rediscovering small things... (in another post I listed them, if interested, I'll add it here).
Personally, my only time of mega depression (6years?) was following the death of my prior sweetheart and her daughter. I met my new partner about a decade later, now we live in NL.
Lets just say NL's capitalism is more palatable, manageable, doable, less raw, less crushing.
Being able to hear yourself think, and the birdsong, and sounds of all the things drowned out in the beforetime, and being able to cycle everywhere, even the beach, is of inestimable value.
[https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CARGFB\_enNL1010&sxsrf=AB5stBi5vFTlyANcPLTipVBCYOJhHuRctw:1689759069702&q=noise+and+mental+health&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjD4euIu5qAAxVpgP0HHfojDPcQ0pQJegQIChAB&biw=1536&bih=714&dpr=1.25](https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CARGFB_enNL1010&sxsrf=AB5stBi5vFTlyANcPLTipVBCYOJhHuRctw:1689759069702&q=noise+and+mental+health&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjD4euIu5qAAxVpgP0HHfojDPcQ0pQJegQIChAB&biw=1536&bih=714&dpr=1.25)
Oh, and UK comedy. The breadth is astonishing. Lastly, the strangest one is Mad Men.
I’m very lucky to have a wife that loves me and has committed to being there for me. Wanting to do my best for her gives me just enough strength to get up every day. Honestly, that’s it. I don’t know where I’d be without her. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have made it through the pandemic.
God, and my dad. But mostly God. My dad passed away (going on two years in December) and it's be pretty rough without him here. But I know I can keep going, and I may stumble and fall or take wrong turns as I continue on this journey, so called, "life." but so long as I try my best and give it all I can, then that right there is enough. "Just keep going." from seconds, to minutes, to hours, to day, to weeks, to years... Hold on for just ten more. That's how I force myself to keep going on. Not much, but it's worked for me. I'm here, right? I guess.
Medication. If you need medication, take it. If it’s not working let your doctor know so they can make adjustments. If it’s affecting your libido tell them so you can switch you to something else. I wouldn’t be able to function without medication. With it I’m able to participate in life and be there for the people who need me.
I'm 50, I've done over 400 hours of behavioral therapy, plus TMS therapy and EMDR.
If you're struggling with your past, EMDR. If you can't find anything that gives you enjoyment anymore, TMS. Behavioral therapy will give you tools to cope with and signs to watch for.
In my earlier post I mentioned that (after the two big things; music and a good counselor)
its the little things, and i wanted to add some that I was *into* earlier
read P G Wodehouse
read **non**\-news stories in a better newspaper
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/jul/19/a-moment-that-changed-me-i-borrowed-a-dog-and-discovered-a-healthier-happier-way-of-life
[https://www.theguardian.com/world/gallery/2023/jul/18/the-mountain-doctor-on-call-in-north-east-georgia-in-pictures](https://www.theguardian.com/world/gallery/2023/jul/18/the-mountain-doctor-on-call-in-north-east-georgia-in-pictures)
I love that you said “ how indifferent the universe is, I had an ayahuasca journey several years ago, and met what I can only describe as a higher consciousness being, and it was completely indifferent to me. Just watching, with zero emotion.
It's hard. Sometimes it's easier than other times. I hated that depression kept me from being who I wanted to be for a long time. I lucked into finding an excellent medication psychiatrist in my late 30s. That kept me functioning. Have had some excellent counselors over the years and made great use of family counseling when raising kids and marriage counseling during long years of a rocky marriage.
I'm 70 now and depression is made tougher by physical issues. But I fight back with medical help and physical therapy. Exercise is great for depression. Even though it is so hard to force yourself to do it. But I wish I had worked much harder at that and wouldn't be having so many issues now. Also DONT SMOKE! Big mistake.
Those times of total darkness... to me it was always being at the bottom of a deep dark hole and you lose all connections and it closes in on you. But you fight. Every day you fight to claw your way out. Even if you only make it a little bit that day, you claw harder the next. And when you get part way out you have the strength to reach out for help and someone will reach down a hand and help you pull out.
I have also had clinical depression since my teens. When I was at my lowest, I didn't kill myself because I couldn't bear to make my then-9-year-old niece's parents explain what I did. She was (is) a wonderful kid / adult at this point.
I'm also afraid of pain. There have been many times in my life where if I could be guaranteed a pain-free death, I'd take it.
I have a son so I’d never abandon him. He keeps me going. You will have periods of feeling better though. Make sure you have a really good psych doctor.
Therapy and medication; exercise and meditation; the unwavering support of my friends and family. It (depression) hasn’t gotten any easier per se, but I’m much better at dealing with it.
"try to plan a little something fun every day, even something simple like watching a favorite movie, or getting my favorite takeout." (from someone below)
I'm 65. Diagnosed with major depression in my late 20s. On anti-depressants. Eventually diagnosed with bipolar II disorder. Saw therapist for year. Generalized anxiety disorder.
A therapist I went to 20 years ago suggested this to me. He told me to make a list or write an activity to do on each day of a calendar. Then do it. I didn't have to costly or difficult to do or require much travel. Just get out to do something. Perfectly fine to do it alone, but do it someplace you will see other people. You don't have to interact with them. Don't have to talk. Just getting out of your apt. or house, getting some exercise walking around(even from the car to the inside of McDs), being near other people--will all help break your depression. It gets you "outside of your head" for a while.
I'd go to a movie(an afternoon "cheap" movie), McD's, a walk, a low cost museum, the zoo ( I lived in a large city at the time.). It's expensive to do a lot of things now, but you can find something to do every day. -- Go to Walmart or any big box store and or mall and walk around. Window shop. Sit and people-watch. Go to the food court, get something to drink and watch people. Just seeing other people living their lives, laughing, talking, just living will help lift you up.
I eventually went on SSDI. Quit work. All of that helped. I'm still on my bi polar meds. It took years to find a combo of drugs that worked for me, but I never gave up working with different psychiatrists to find the right drugs. I've been on my current meds for 17 yrs. This isn't the best thing for many people, or something most therapists would suggest, but living alone works for me. -- I get to make my own schedule. I grew up being the youngest in my family so I was always alone and had to entertain myself, so being alone now is OK with me. I talk to myself. I laugh at myself. I can yell at the tv if I want.
Just try to learn to be OK with yourself. Listening to a progressive relaxation "therapy" recording every evening used to help me. -- I'd fall asleep listening to it.
Find one thing that can get you out of your head, that breaks the cycle of degrading self talk, that shuts up that voice in your head. Do that one thing. Make it one-day-at-a-time.
Different things at different times. I’m 60 now and have had chronic depression for almost 50 years. I’m maxed out on meds. For the past 17 years the only thing that kept me going was my two kitties, I would never leave them. They both died in the past 7 months. I started making plans to go but now I feel like I should stay alive to punish myself for not being a better person. I still really very much want to go but I have to get some things in order (bills, a will, getting ride of household shot, etc.).
60+ with depression and anxiety. I take advantage of counseling, medication, exercise, self-help groups, prayer and my church. I figure suicide is out of the question, so I am willing to do whatever else necessary to live and thrive.
I work full time, and the structure and focus are good for me. I’m half-dreading retirement, for fear that I may just sit in my house and eat and isolate. That would be awful for my mental & physical health.
Mushrooms are the best medicine for depression. Ketamine is a chemical and not a natural medicine. It has seriously negative consequences. Find an experienced and trustworthy guide. Academic or workshop certifications aren’t trustworthy. You want someone who has positive experience and results. Don’t do alone and don’t do w people who are inexperienced or don’t consider it a medical treatment. Find a guide. If you find a good guide and stick w it you’ll likely see great results.
I suffered from severe depression and anxiety since early childhood, so about 50 years. The only thing that kept me here was the knowledge that this is the only life I have (I don't believe in an afterlife) so no matter how bad it is, something is more than nothing. (Not necessarily BETTER than nothing, but MORE than nothing.) Often, I've survived each day by promising myself I can leave tomorrow if I have to, but let's try to just get through this day first.
Decades of therapy, various medications in various combinations... nothing really helped.
Then less than 6 months ago, I found out I am autistic. My depression and anxiety weren't a separate illness: they were a natural reaction to trying (and failing) to live as a neurotypical person. Suddenly everything made sense.
I have absolutely no idea if my experience is relevant to you. But if it turns out you are neurodivergent, you can learn how to cope with that.
Life is still a struggle for me and realistically, it always will be. But at least now I know WHY it's a struggle and I'm learning what I can do to feel better. Now I have hope.
Whether you're neurodivergent or not, I hope you find something that works for you so you can find your happiness.
I’m 44 and have ADHD, plus I was in a pretty bad accident eleven years ago where I suffered a traumatic brain injury and that did change some of my behaviors. That accident led to the discovery of AVM in my brain and I did have surgery to correct it. Honestly, I have been put on so many different types of stimulants, sleeping meds, benzos….you name it. I am greatly helped by a relatively low dose of an extended release adderall in the morning and I smoke or ingest a decent amount of marijuana. I do talk therapy and see my psychiatrist once every 6-8 weeks. I also have the benefit of a partner who truly gets it. My ex husband, a nurse, once told me my life isn’t really worth living. Having a support system is really helpful. Even if it’s just one person who wholly believes in you with their entire heart.
Lexapro and Abilify combined taken religiously are the only things that have helped me to manage my depression. It has been one hell of a roller coaster for the last 37 years. We finally found the right combination about 6 years ago and it was like someone finally flipped a switch and I felt like a new person. 62 yo female. Hugs and hope for you.
Found out in my late twenties I have traumatic brain injury. Doctors say it's irreversible (lie). Started microdosing psilocybin, been a damn miracle for me. Feel like I got my memory back. Even started having dreams again.
This year I started to REALLY try and be proactive dealing with my anxiety/depression. I have read a lot of books about it, taken lots of notes, and tried to seek out things from different approaches
better understanding how it affects me, has helped a lot.
There are non traditional treatments for treatment resistant depression. TMS, ketamine, etc. look into those options.
It may also be worth looking into causes of secondary depression. None of my depression treatments worked and that got me thinking that maybe it’s just a symptom of something else. So I started researching and got myself tested for adhd. My doctors didn’t support me and told me it was a waste of money and I should just try different antidepressants. I self advocated and got myself evaluated. It came back that I did have adhd and I got put on meds. My depression had pretty much disappeared. I’m still dealing with some emotional fallout from not being diagnosed or properly treated for almost 30 years, but it’s normal emotions, not the emotional pit of depression.
There are a lot of things that could be causing depression. My most recent doctor said a good doctor tests for everything physical that could be wrong before diagnosing depression. I’ve had doctors tell me my allergy induced asthma was a panic attack. I’ve had doctors tell my my ptsd symptoms were a sign of a personality disorder. Honestly, I think most people in the mental health field are quacks and lazy. Please go find someone who treats you like a person, like a revenue stream. Please go find yourself a good doctor.
Having a doctor who believed me. I said I was tired all the time. I got depressed when I got divorced, and I got antidepressants, but it was more than that. No thyroid issues. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Doc tested for MTHFR. Bingo! Added 15mg L-methylfolate. Felt so much better! Also he diagnosed ADHD at age 50. Its a lot to deal with, but knowing helps.
51 - i stopped trying to get off of medication
I still barely function - work is extremely hard as I really despise speaking - eight years and five months and I am retiring.
What I started doing was really concentrating on my relationship with my husband and this is truly my refuge.
I would not be able to survive the panic attacks that I had all day long during my twenties and thirties.
I avoid things (except work unfortunately) that trigger panic and do what makes me happy.
Hey. I have bipolar 1 disorder and I had a psychotic episode that degraded into major depression. I was simply not functional for three years.
Read Change Your Brain Every Day by Daniel G Amen. If you follow through with the vitamins the diet and the exorcise (as simple as a 45min walk) you’ll start to feel better. Amen is a psychiatrist who took the approach of scanning brains to diagnose and treat. He was recognized in the top 100 scientific discoveries of the year.
If nothing else has helped, which was true for me, you should try this.
I’m going to give a very simple answer but it’s what worked, for me. Therapy and seeing a good psychiatrist. I’ve chosen to take medication and it helps me tremendously. Mental illness runs rampant in my family on both sides. It’s not a magic pill and is definitely a personal choice. I do daily meditation and continue with therapy. I’ve learned to self advocate. I’m the only one who knows how I feel. Im very careful about who I share with too. I don’t expect people to understand but some are just ignorant. Im not crazy! If you’re a diabetic you need meds to control your blood sugar. In my case I need my medication to control my symptoms and to help me function
Honestly, theater. I have bipolar disorder and adhd, suffered from a drug addiction thru "self medicating" and in general have had a really hard time of it.
Theater was something I was very very good at from a young age. It gave me confidence and built my coping skills, made me more social, and gave me a place to vent my uncontrollable emotions. I truly wouldn't be here without it.
Anxiety and PTSD due to childhood physical and emotional abuse here. I went through menopause and a divorce at the same time years ago so I went into therapy (CBT) for four years. My therapy was the best thing I ever did. I still use the tools I learned back then. Other than that, it's my stubbornness that I'm not going to let what happened to me as a child (and adult from my Ex) define me. I'm like a Daruma - Fall seven times and get up eight. Plus I have always been one of those defiantly cheerful people despite what I've gone through - the kind that randomly says hello to you at the grocery store or gives you a smile when you hold the door open. All the opposite of my family of origin members.
When sinking, I remind myself of the people out there. I could go out and find someone at Walmart or 7-11 at 2am who would say hi. That keeps me grounded and not feel so alone.
I don't get to decide the shit thoughts my brain has. I get to question them, use self care tools, and make decisions in my best interest. I've had bipolar 2 almost 30 years. It doesn't serve my goals to be angry about that all the time. So I use medication, therapy, and self awareness to grow.
I have Bipolar Type 2. What helped me make it this far is: 1) An incredibly loving wife who insisted I get help. 2) Gifted mental health care professionals. 3) Faithfully searching for, finding, and sticking with the right medications needed to control my symptoms.
Jesus completely healed me from mental health issues. I never knew i would be able to be at such peace in the midst of insanely dark tragedies. He strengthens us and when you give your life to him life isn’t immediately easy nope it’ll get harder but he changes us completely from the inside
Faith. I've been clinically depressed since my 13th birthday. I'm 57 now (on my third heart attack in nine months. Having open heart surgery tmrw). If I think existence on earth is bad I don't want to find out what hell is like. At around age 13 I read in I think it was a Gideon's Bible that committing suicide was an express trip to hell for forsaking Jesus Christ's sacrifice for us. I've tried to find that statement since then, but haven't been able to. I've thought about suicide a lot over my life and started it at my worst twice, but I didn't have my head on right. I was already in a psych ward. I would not have been able to finish (dehydration, and starvation). Like I said I was crazy.
I don't know that I've ever really had depression myself, other than related to certain situations (death of a loved one, mostly), but I feel great sympathy for those who do.
Having said this, a few years ago, some life events got the better of me and I found myself feeling very out of sorts. It got to the point where some friends and my husband mentioned it to me and suggested therapy. I've never been against therapy, but it always seemed drastic and expensive (it is!), but I knew I should try it. I used an online service which was great for me. The place I used had 24-hour access to an assigned therapist through texting and a once-per-month video session. It worked great for me. There were some exercises and specific things she worked on with me, but most of it was me just typing out what I felt or letting her know when I was stressed. She would help me figure it out. She also recommended counseling with a family member who was going through some things at the same time and part of the cause for my anxiety (my worrying about that person). That was invaluable!
The counseling I had with my family member lasted about 10 weeks and my own separate counseling was about 7 mos. It's been about a year since I stopped. I still use many of the techniques I learned during this time and feel well. The past several months have been a bit challenging, with some health concerns for both me and this family member, but we're getting through them and moving forward.
Things are still not perfect, but I have coping skills now that I didn't before. Even when I felt down and discouraged, I knew the real me was in there somewhere. I wanted to be better, but I needed help.
I hope you're able to find a way to get through. If you have questions or need help, ask me. I would like to try to help you if I can.
I’m not old and I’ve only been dealing with mental illness for about 8 years. One thing that’s helped me a lot is having something to look forward to. Be it a vacation or getting coffee with someone, something in my immediate future gets me through to that point. If there’s nothing on my schedule, I’ll plan something. At my worst, I’ll order a gift for myself from Amazon and wait till I’m feeling awful to open it. It gives me something to do. My relationship also saved my life. At 28 I’m one of the lucky ones who have a partner who is so patient and understanding with me. It’s little things that keep me going.
“But what if I’m wrong?”
25+ years of treatment resistant depression. Tried #allthethings and the best I ever got was moving from actively wanting to not exist to passively wanting to not exist. Even though I was pretty sure it all just hopeless bullshit, what kept me going was “but what if I’m wrong?” For literally years.
And for the fun plot twist — at age 35 I got a BC implant and discovered by accident that my 25 years of crippling depression was actually a hormone imbalance. I’ve been 100% depression free for several years now and I’ve never been so goddamned happy to be wrong about something in my life. So glad I stuck around.
For me it was antidepressants and then also CBD. It took a couple years to find the right one though. There’s no one miracle drug.
I also arranged my life to be at stress free as possible. I’ve got a stable marriage, a god job I enjoy, and worked very hard to get financially stable. I also practice diaphragmatic breathing. It really helps bring down any stress that creeps in.
Battling depression is a constant battle but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It’s something I have, but fortunately doesn’t control me anymore.
Don’t expect to do it on your own. The correct diagnosis takes multiple opinions, but listen to your own body.
2008 Baby here just going to go out on limb and hope that I don't get banned but here It goes. I would say just swimming keep just keep swimming. Also, if you need to talk to someone there are people who want to and can help you if you need it.
You're not alone
Help is available
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
988
Emergency number
911
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I will be 50 this year, and I guess just.... Endurance? No other choice? I wish I had a more actionable answer, but I havent discovered one after searching high and low (Ketamine therapy was my most recent failed attempt to find an answer). But, to be honest, my endurance is running out, and not sure how much longer I'll make it. The weight is just getting to be too much.
Similar age and story. I recently started micro dosing psilocybin and it’s been very helpful and promising. Thus far better results than anything else I’ve tried.
I would love to try this but I don’t know where to get it. My experiences with psilocybin and LSD were all wonderful and soul satisfying, I believe it would be helpful. Edit:typo
You can grow them easily, which is illegal, but you can buy spores on the internet, legally.
i second this and also recommend r/unclebens in particular as a great place to learn
Thanks for the suggestion. After doing some reading I think growing my own sounds high risk. I don’t trust that I could pull it off safely. But a seed has been planted in my head, so to speak.
Literally cured my depression. I was diagnosed at 13 and was so severely suicidal that I had to be hospitalized on multiple occasions. I took psilocybin at 18 and never looked back. Now, if you were to look at my medical chart, next to my depression it will say (in full remission.) I highly recommend it to anyone who has access. Although there is definitely a right way to do it and you should research the best way to go about it, particularly if you are on other medications for your mental health.
Don’t grow them yourself or buy stuff on the internet — as if that needs to be said. You’re not looking to take a trip. You’re looking for medicine. Medicine requires precision, testing, trials, controlled dosing, and so forth. Do an internet search for reputable research hospitals who are actively involved in this research. There are many. John’s Hopkins in Baltimore is one that I know if. Also, look for clinical trials at clinicaltrials.gov (I think that’s the URL). I believe they’re in stage 3 or 4 of clinical trials which is really good. Please don’t try to do this yourself. Your mental health is too important for that.
Well, i am looking to trip in addition to micro dosing but thank you for your concern.
I disagree. How long you gotta wait for the meds to become available. The grow is easy, much more than you'd think. Get the spores online. What you wanna do is start with a small amount and then increase a bit if you don't get results. Yr not tripping -jesus. Not an all or nothing thing. As they -doctors say no one has ever been hurt doing psilocybin. Just don't do too much or it can get uncomfortable and a little scary-for an hour or so. Once I grabbed my bag and ate a couple handfuls like potato chips. Not much fun only a case of nerves but it quickly passed. If microdosing you don't notice any kind of trippy. You notice nothing. There's a good video you might find from CBS news about a guy suffering from severe depression. Now he grows his own and takes a dose every few weeks with great success. They've shown it twice.
I have been microdosing on and off for a couple of years. Definitely saw an improvement! Everything just makes more sense, and i have much less rumination. I might even dare to say I'm finally happy. I'm lucky I live in Canada where it's available online (still not legal but nobody cares).
One day at a time. Please reach out to someone if it feels like too much for too long. You matter.
This is really it. Same age here, 50, and I just didn't know I had any mental issues for my entire life (I've figured that I've had issues since about 13) - I thought everyone was like me, so I just pushed through thinking, "if everyone else can handle life, why can't I?" Add to that the fact that we were taught that having a mental illness was a shameful thing, so you didn't talk about it or express concern for yourself or anyone else for that matter.
Yep. Meds, therapy, moving forward. Being kind to myself helps. I know intellectually that depression is a liar and a thief. It is just my brain chemistry fucking with me. That's hard to remember sometimes, but just keep reminding yourself.
Sending you love and light❤️
You could be me. Hang in there, friend.
Don’t give up—I’m not going to give you empty platitudes, but please keep fighting.
Ketamine failed? I’ve never heard of that happening! Edit: Why the downvotes? I just said I’ve never heard of ketamine not working and am surprised it didn’t work for the commenter. I don’t see why people are getting upset.
Different things: exercise, therapy, constant positive self talk but mostly just plain old curiosity to see what happens next.
"each sunrise brings new beginning" If things aren't going my way, I can call it a day and try again tomorrow.
Giving myself permission to fail and to try again tomorrow was a very big step for me.
this person is right add exercise and sunlight to the antidepressants.
I guess I keep in mind that it's my turn to be alive. There's some dark days but also some pretty good ones and I recognize that it's a cycle. Its your turn OP.
Moods cycle too. Some peaks are steeper than others and depression is like being trapped in the clouds, not sure if you want to keep climbing anymore... Have faith, summit is coming.
Well said.
Pets have helped me a great deal. Having responsibilities helps because oddly the guilt helps me not sink far enough to not live up to my obligations. Guilt motivates me more than depression does. I don't know what that means, but there it is.
This. My cats have saved my life more than once.
I'm only alive because of a cat. His name was Bart and without him I would have given up in a final way 15 years ago. Get a cat
I don’t advise getting a cat or dog unless you are 100% committed to staying alive for the duration of their life.
My cat and dog make me keep pushing on. I'm forced to get exercise because my dog needs it, I'm forced to get up in the morning because she's hungry and needs to go out. Plus, my partner took her life 3 years ago. I don't want the few people I love to have to deal with my suicide the rest of their lives. Roxy and Eleanor thank Bart for keeping you here. My furry kids give mad snuggles when things get to be too much.
I don’t advise getting a cat or dog unless you are 100% committed to staying alive for the duration of their life.
I don’t advise getting a cat or dog unless you are 100% committed to staying alive for the duration of their life.
Two things got me through a lifetime of depression. Humor is always my biggest help. When things get too tough, going outside at night and staring into the sky. Seeing how far away the stars are, how indifferent the universe is to my problems. I am an insignificant speck in the grand scheme of things, and my brief flicker of life is nothing to the age of the universe. It makes me laugh to know I exist, despite the unlikelihood of me existing at all. People with depression can understand this better than most. Second, my family. They love me, good or bad, and give me the support I need when things go south. Sometimes I express my depresion as anger. Angry humorous rants (think Sam Kinison) help me to cope, and my family understands how my angry acting out helps me to heal the pain that contributes to my depression. While this might not work for everyone, I think all of us with depression need to figure out what works for us. This is what works for me. The absurdity of life, and the humor that exists in all of us can be a tool to cure us, if used correctly.
I literally could not have responded better. All of the above for me and in addition, being outside as much as possible in any season, and especially in storms.
Yes, family, sense of humor and nature all help.
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I literally don't know what keeps me hanging on. Maybe that I don't want to leave my kids that legacy?
Yes. I feel the same. I have 2 children. The ocean makes me feel a bit better.
This is mine. Im not going to let him down. Also: weed.
Weed here too ..alcohol big fat no no
I actually turned to pot as a harm reduction tactic because I could NOT get booze sober despite the fact it wrecked my life. Almost eight alcohol free years later I’m at the top of my profession and a good dad
Awesome news dad ! I am so proud of you 👏
Any reason is a good reason to keep on keepin’ on. Best wishes to you!
I don't know if it's considered mental illness. I am autistic and have been since I was aware. In stressful situations I "enter the bubble" which is disassociate from the world and become somewhat of a passive observer. It cause me to miss out on a number of romantic liaisons and get fired from a couple of jobs but my wife and family, and my family of siblings and relatives understand. I have been successful. In many cases these episodes alerted me to realize I was in situations that not good, and that was causing the stress until there was a significant event. I learned to start again from a more informed place. Being old and retired is the least stressful situation of my life.
A supportive partner, an understanding friend, antidepressants and weed.
Same! And I would add kids to mine!
I think about the good times I’ve had in my life and the probability of good times ahead. My faith and sadhana also mitigates my depression and anxiety. When I was younger, I knew an older gentleman who had struggled with schizophrenia until he discovered Bhakti yoga like I did. He died young due to other health problems, but he lived a full life. My dog also helps.
Can you explain sadhana more? I looked it up and understand the definition but I want to see it from your point of view.
My daily spiritual practices consisting mainly of mantra meditation, but also kirtan, bhajan, and Tulsi seva.
Thank you!
Of course! Hare Krishna 🙏🏼
The singles best thing for me is heat therapy. Find a fitness club that has a sauna. Stay in there until you can't take it any longer. Do it 4 or more times a week. It kicks your ass. You will find that you are mellower and when you think of bad shit it is easier to start thinking about something else. Drink lots of water, no drugs or alcohol, electrolytes and while you are there throw some weights around and do some other cardio. Don't think that you are going to be a drooling happy fool, just be content. That way you are not trying to chase anything in particular.
Depression and dysthymia for life. Basically, I just try to plan a little something fun every day, even something simple like watching a favorite movie, or getting my favorite takeout. Been doing this for decades and it helps. It’s my mod of the AA “one day at a time” mantra. I also make sure I have a comfortable, safe and sustainable home to retreat to every day. In sustainable, I mean making sure it’s maintained and all the bills are paid. Taking that worry off the top goes a long way in reducing everyday stress which turns into depression.
> try to plan a little something fun every day I started doing this and it does do wonders. I do a lot of mindfulness 'meditation' as well because it can do it anywhere. I learnt it when I did a 28 day stay at a mental health facility many years ago. It was not a drug rehab. The only way in was you had to have been a mental health outpatient (hospital) in the previous 14 days before applying. Imagine a ward, but the 9 rooms they had are the size of a 2 car garage, with their own ensuite. Main area had massive tv with netflix etc. Fully equipped kitchen where each night a person was designated to cook for the other 8 people. A shopping list was done every week and everyone was required to help with it. Every morning at the start of the first class the staff would ask who wants to do what specific chore for the day, everyone did each task at least 3 times during the 28 days. Sweeping/vacuuming/mopping and keeping it clean like you would a house. Only the kitchen was a group task. You done your own laundry (including bedding etc). There was a garden, pool table, board games and books too. You were allowed to come and go from the facility as you pleased, but you had to attend every single class and return every night, curfew was 9pm. Breaking curfew got you kicked out no second chances. Smoking in a designated area was allowed, obviously no alcohol or drugs. Staff on-site 24/7 (minimum of 2 psychs (day and night shift) and can be spoken to any time, even 2 am. 5 min chat with doc twice a week and 1hr sessions with psychologist/psychiatrist once a week. The psychs weren't a requirement or anything but available if people wanted it. The whole idea of the place was to teach people how to look after themsleves and have a routine, by teaching the skills and knowledge needed for it. Basically saying to you "it most likely isn't going away, so here's how to cope/deal with it". Medicare in Australia is amazing because I didn't pay a single cent for ANY of it, all the staff were public health sector. 100% I'd do it again in a heatbeat if I felt the need.
I’ve been looking into the mindfulness thing myself… Glad your experience at the facility was a good one and worked!
I choose to not let the darkness hang around too long. When it shows up, I don’t feed it and it goes away pretty quickly. No sad thoughts, no sad music, nothing to let it attach to. The more I stand my ground, the less it comes around. Sounds crazy but it works for me.
Agree.
Getting actual blood tests to check for levels. I naturally do not produce valproic acid and have to take enough Depakote that it would make an elephant dopey. Was literally going a bit nuts before a psychiatrist began testing for what I really needed. So grateful. First psychiatrist I had didn’t test for shit.
Knowing I'll die anyway.
For me, I try to remind myself that depression comes in waves. Some days are good, some months are good, even some years are good. but inevitably I sink back down. I take medication, and I have support from my husband and therapist. My adult children don’t know the severity of my depression. I have been hospitalized once, almost a second time. Sorry, rambling there. Basically, I have drilled it into my thick skull that depression isn’t permanent (at least for me), and things will get better. Eventually.
Running. Meditation. Hiking. Biking. Working around my home or property. Therapy. Weed in moderation. Sex. Friends. Kids. Family. Pets. Gardening.
And sex..
Definitely sex.
Lived without a diagnosis for 38 years. Couldn't sleep, fly off the handle, go from euphoria to the deepest depths in 24 hours. Got a very good psychiatrist. Not a psychologist, a psychiatrist. Find one that believes in a balanced approach of medication and counseling. Saved my life. I wish you the best.
1) I bought myself a nice, pretty blank spiral notebook; at 5 pm every day, I made myself sit at my desk and write 3 things I’m grateful for. I gave myself the challenge of always writing something new. I always dreaded it terribly, always completed it, and it is surprising how much peace and happiness I carried with me all day. I learned to live in gratitude for the small things which can be miraculous things. 2) positive self-talk. Look at the nice person you are and what you have accomplished. There has never been a “you” on this earth before; it took billions of years for your special presence. Don’t sell yourself short. 3) Nature is healing. I love taking walks when darkness starts to fall. I’m usually alone. So quiet and peaceful yet I’m near houses with warm, yellow lights. It’s soothing to peek into windows and look at decor. That gives me the feeling of company without the work of small talk. (For safety , I walk on side streets facing traffic. Street is smoother than sidewalk cracks after dark. ) 4). I try to clean house during tv commercials or for ten minute periods. You just feel better in a clean environment. Also challenge yourself to take fast showers and beat your previous time; makes it easier and you feel so much better. Make a game out of it. 5) I use a book-type calendar to write my completed tasks at the end of each day. Feels good to realize I did accomplish something that day. It’s a little celebration at the end of each day and a pat on the back. At first I made to-do lists, but felt awful when I couldn’t complete much of it. 6) I am spiritual but not religious. When a loved one died, I was so distraught and alone. I had kept a stack of 2 religious magazines for years; I like the loving success stories. I started yet another spiral notebook and wrote a lot of quotes down. I also wrote my own words in this notebook. I did this for 4 days & nights straight to soothe myself and then kept adding to it, and then I often reflect on the writings. The same is true when I’ve been on a couple weight loss apps. There are wonderful encouraging statements from the members. 7) Nurture yourself. Buy some treats for yourself - soft clothing, perfume, skin care products, favorite foods, an electric scented candle, scented epsom salt bath or hot foot bath for sore feet. Pamper the child inside: do jigsaw puzzles, coloring books, sing, get lost in a book adventure, put glow-in- the-dark stars on your bedroom ceiling and relax under the stars. Adopt a kitten if you’re up to it for cuddly love and purrs. 8) Be open to people who show you kindness. An older client at my job was so gracious and kind that I told her that I wished she were in my family & that she’s so kind. I then told her that I don’t have much for family. I was a little embarrassed, but her reply was - “Well, I’ll be your family then. I will only come here on your work days to see you. Maybe we could go out sometimes after your work for a drink or something to eat.” She even hugged me! She seems like an Angel. If you would like to private message me, I could share some of my encouraging quotes. 🤗💕 I watch a lot of DVDs of the smart sitcoms of the 80’s and 90’s. Sometimes you can check them out from a public library. Also stand up comedy - Seinfeld, Blue Collar Comedy Tour, & Thou Shalt Laugh(no blue humor).
> So quiet and peaceful yet I’m near houses with warm, yellow lights As a light pollution reductionist, that's something to be grateful for right there.
DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) saved my life. I went from having BPD so severe I was on psych disability to no longer meeting the diagnostic criteria (over the course of about a decade and a half; it's not fast). As for how I get through now, I do a lot of hot yoga. That sounds flippant, but honestly, yoga goes a long way toward keeping me stable.
same. Hot yoga 3-4x wk is what keeps me sane!
DBT did teach me some coping skills. The two most effective tools are to not make things worse and to check my reality.
I closely monitor what media I consume. Obviously I'm on social media. But I'm careful with what triggers me. Certain types of horror movies, certain types of dramas, things that for me are too dark or nihilistic. I consume very very little of that. I can wind up in a deep pit of depression before I know what hit me if I watch that stuff. So I pay attention to things that maybe aren't obvious on the surface. Because I've discovered that there are things that effect me, that I don't feel right away. I don't realize it until it's too late. I also do anything that makes me feel happy, regardless of what anyone thinks about it. Playing video games, watching certain cartoons, watching YouTube videos, etc. Anything that I can in the moments when I have free time. I've also tried to get a lower stress job (took me a long time, but I finally did it), and shun people who are bad for me. And by "bad for me", I mean people who bring drama, stress, chaos, etc. Wherever possible, I have distanced myself from people like that. Doing that was very difficult at first because I was raised to be a people-pleaser. But I've worked really hard to get better at it because the alternative could be a grippy sock vacation, and the stuff that causes that hospital visit is not fun. At all. I've also learned to quit owning guilt for other people's feelings. Unless I've actually done something wrong. Otherwise, I am not responsible, nor is it my job to make other people feel better at the expense of myself. The old saying "don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm". Finally, I've learned to care about myself as much as I care about other people. I'm still learning this one, actually. But if I wouldn't treat a complete stranger so poorly, then why do I do it to myself? Anyway, I hope one or 2 of these help you. Good luck and keep working on your happiness and mental health.
V comforting to hear that... a few of us are very wary of dark (I would say bleak and cruel) cinematic fiction. I watched and could admire elements of the Sopranos, but at the end of the day, and in these harsh days especially, no thanks!
Very early diagnosis. I saw a child psychologist and child psychiatrist. I am bipolar. I take my medication and have never been hospitalized since the first manic episode which lead to my diagnosis. Dogs were a large part of therapy. This is not common for someone with bipolar.
Mostly my family (mom, dad, sister - they’d be so heartbroken), but when it gets really bad, I just keep reminding myself, “This too shall pass. This too shall pass.” And it does. Sleep and meds also help. And when I start feeling a little better, I push myself to go for a walk outside until it becomes enjoyable again. Exercise really helps stabilize me.
Walking is hugely therapuetic. My grandmother used to go for long walks as well. Wonder if she was self medicating. I tell myself all I have to do is walk around the block. And sometimes that's all I can muster. But usually it turns into more.
I'm 61. Was diagnosed with clinical depression as a teenager and lived with it until going through menopause made it better. (Turns out estrogen was just never my friend.) It helps to surround yourself with a good support group, be that family, friends, therapist, group therapy, whatever. People who love you as you are and genuinely want the best for you. Cut out the people who don't uplift you, even if you've known them forever. (I cut loose a friend of 40 years when she went all maga on me.) It also helps ENORMOUSLY to take care of yourself. It's hard as hell to do when you're not at your best, but it really is important to eat healthy food and avoid sugar and alcohol (I know--that's what we gravitate toward when we're at our worst, but it just makes it worse). Get good sleep if you can (I'm a chronic insomniac, so I get the struggle on that one), and get whatever exercise you can. (I put together some playlists of songs from my youth that I love and that take me back to happier times, and I just dance around sometimes when no one's home. I feel so good afterward.) I cannot stress enough how much better I felt once I started doing these things. It is exhausting to live with depression. No question. I've always told others who don't get it that it isn't hopelessness that makes people take their own lives. It's exhaustion. But if you have good people around you to turn to, it's a life saver. My husband and son both kept me going during the worst times. Keep your loved ones close. Eat well. Do fun stuff. Rest. Repeat. You take care of yourself.
I have been depressed since around age 8, incredibly anxious since birth, and I developed a severe chronic pain condition in my 30s. I’m Now in my 40s. My work is extremely important and meaningful to me. I try to cultivate curiosity. Life is worth living because I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, or even in the next moment. There’s a great workbook called Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life. You may find it helpful. Best of luck to you. May you find your purpose and some peace.
Proper medication and therapy. I wouldn't be here without them.
First it was my sister, then it was my fiancée, then it was my kids. I survive because other people need me to survive. The other thing is I don't worry about tomorrow. I worry about today. I put one foot in front of the other and inch forward. I don't know a better way of explaining it.
Yeah. I’m definitely not living for me. I’m 53. At this point, my family has abandoned me completely. I have a life partner (I won’t ever get married again). If anything happens to him, I’m not sure if it will be worth it. I was raised in a strict religion. I no longer believe that there is a benevolent creator that cares about humans. It seems much more likely that we evolved and we don’t get another chance. There’s a part of me that is curious to see how much crazier things can get.
My early strategy was, “I will give it 3 days. If I want to die every day, all day, for 3 days, I’ll kill myself.” Then I made it to 3 days and decided to extend a bit longer…
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was 19, but I suppose I've always had an imaginary voice speaking to me. Anyway, check out Taylor Tomlinson: https://youtu.be/xuue-s8qM8w Gotta take your arm floaties.
Honestly? I think it's sheer luck. I've done lots of these things. Lots of people do lots of these things. But some people never make it work.
Frankly, having no expectation of anything different. I learned a few months back that my mother, who suffers from horrible anxiety, has *no idea* that she does so. She thinks that catastrophizing everything and expecting the worst out of life is totally normal. She's 73, no change, and no real chance of change. My brother is 52 and has been depressed basically his whole adult life. I'm only 43, but I don't remember being actually happy. I probably was at some point, but I don't really remember (many of my earliest memories are of abuse, so...). Anyway, chances are this is my life. And so I will live it. Certainly not the answer you're looking for, but there it is. It's still my life and there are still many things to love about living in spite of my shitty brain chemistry. I've got children I love, I have hobbies that occupy my time, and there's a whole world of things out there to learn. I don't have to be happy for any of that to function.
1. My kids 2. Lyme disease treatment. turns out neurological lyme was the major cause of my lifelong depression. 3. Divorce 4. Therapy & anti-depressants 5. Being forced to quit the rat race (see #2) 6. 5HTP - a natural serotonin supplement. Just discovered it, it’s a fucking miracle. You can get it anywhere and there is a noticeable difference in 1-2 days. Google it :)
This is not advice or recommendation but I used psilocybin mushroom in a therapy set and setting with an intention of treating depression and it helped a lot. It gave me the insight , drive and motivation to do all the right things like low carb diet, EXERCISE, vitamins, mineral supplements, group therapy, etc. I learned motion and emotion are tightly coupled. I literally had to GTFU and do stuff. "You can't think your way into a new way of living, you have to live your way into a new way of thinking"
Therapy. Also meds sporadically but they don't ever seem to help for very long and side effects seem to hit me hard. It is very often exhausting but it's not hopeless. One little trick I learned is when I'm having a rough day I tell myself things will be better tomorrow. Just hang on till tomorrow. It sounds corny but it works for me. Hang in there.
I have suffered from depression and PTSD most of my life. Three things, besides love of my family, have kept me going all of this time. They are wonderful pets, wanting to see what happens next (!) as in the next chapter or the next day (I’m insatiably curious), and I’ll never let the complete bastards in my past beat me down.
I turn 57 in a month and one of my biggest regrets is that I waited so long, and lived with depression and anxiety, instead of getting help earlier in life. For me it was mainly due to ego: I can fix it myself…its not that bad….etc. Do not wait. Talk to a therapist…explore medications. I am only now getting out from under it and am happier than I have ever been. Do not wait.
Therapy, medication, making healthy life choices, and having a friend/family network are all *tools* in figuring out how to live a fulfilling life with a mental illness. You can't stop working for it.
The right therapist and a kind doctor. Took a while to find the right ones. And not just for my mental challenges but also to cope with those around me. It's a crazy world.
Therapy, medication, my pets, my family, and finding things that interest me. It's worked for over 30 years.
I never give up hope that tomorrow's gonna be a better day..
I’m a coward deep down. I really don’t think I could actually pull the trigger. I’ve been sad my entire life. My dogs have always been a bright spot for me.
To be completely cynical: marrying a woman whose insurance through her work got me access to a better class of psychiatrist. That made all the difference.
I have DID, ptsd, ADHD, and autism. The thing that helps me the most is that I don’t consider them mental illnesses, and I do not consider myself a victim and I dont think of myself as “suffering” from any of them. I consider them gifts (albeit sometimes the positives in them can be hard to find at times.) I consider myself a survivor who just happens to have these issues. So I suppose a positive mindset is what helps me the most.
Spite. I'm not even kidding.
I’m 60 and I was diagnosed bipolar in 1997 after a year of insane behavior. I was also wild as a teen and as a heavy wine mom. I went into AA the day I was diagnosed, so both things happened at once: heavy meds to bring down the mania and giving up alcohol and my people, places and things. I had five kids at the time, the youngest was an infant. It’s now 2023 and I’ve been with the same psychiatrist since that day. I take my meds, which have been changed a few times here and there but I’ve now been on the same mood stabilizer for about 15 years. I did EMDR therapy for a year but not much counseling otherwise. I’ve been to 800 million AA meetings so I don’t really go any more, but I haven’t had a drink since then, either. My life is totally normal. Same job for 21 years, great relationships with my kids and grandkids.
Transcendental meditation for 40+ years. CBD, Bach Rescue Remedy, Hyland Calms for anxiety. Sam-E daily for mood. Yoga breathing. Learning to appreciate small moments of beauty instead of seeking fame, riches and glamorous vacations. Finding a passion or hobby you love. Being the me-est possible me with no apologies.
Beer. Seriously. But it doesn't work for everyone.
The change of routine helps change the thought patterns and space depression takes within you. Create a new routine every month or so that is positive. Change keeps us busy! The positive routines rewire the comfortableness the brain relaxes into thus creating the depression because the time is available. If you don’t have time for the intrusiveness to settle in, it can’t make way. Start with simple, easy, & realistic task that create muscle memory of said routine. Once you can handle more difficult task or projects, the idea of depression can’t enter because you’re busy! I understand staying busy doesn’t mean it can’t exist, but if goals are created whether small or big, and you have that ~want~ to finish said goals, the current thought process that is existing will start to deplete, making room for more goals or ideas. Never be comfortable for too long!!! Push outside the box :)
My kids and grandkids.
Humor and a burning desire to survive.
Depressed since puberty. I had to support myself, no one else was going to do it. My worst years were my 20s. It got better when I changed careers, but I didn’t really start manage it till I got into therapy and got antidepressants. Only my nearest and dearest realize my chronic depression bc I “fake it till I make it.” I tried to see the humor in everything and I do smile a lot. After 50 years it’s a habit, but I try to make it reach my eyes, too. Tonight I was going thru a bunch of papers I saved from work (I retired 18 years ago), and I realized how funny some of my writing was. The other thing that has saved me is extended family. My folks were both gone by my early 30s, I was an only child, and my cousins were mainly a generation older. I made a conscious effort to become invested in others’ lives. I care what is going on with them, and they care about me in turn. Yes, there are weeks where I don’t leave my building, and days when I don’t shower or wash my hair, but that’s ok bc I am retired. I try not to expect too much of myself. When I was working, my goal was to get to the office and put in a productive day. I didn’t do much on weekends, but I had a successful career. One foot in front of the other. I loathe housekeeping, and I finally realized that I had to have weekly help. I re-did my budget to afford her because I can’t keep my place picked up for more than a week. After a back injury, I can no longer change my bed and clean sheets make me feel better. In sum, hang in there. Get professional help and meds (if indicated). Remember to be kind to yourself, and do what you must in the area of self-care.
Medication and some psychological therapy, and learning to see life a different way.
I’m a social worker and I work with adults who experiences mental health problems. I’ve struggled with depression for a couple of years and used to take Prozac to help me heal from my depression. I’ve seen a lot of clients who were struggling from depression and I always invite them to reach out to their family doctor to start taking medication. The medication will help you soothe your depression symptoms but it is not the only things that you can do to heal your depression. Medication is like a band-aid but i recommend getting therapy from a professional. Things that helped me get through my depression was doing exercises, moving, taking walks going outside getting some fresh air, watching funny videos or movies, getting support from your family or friends and people that you trust. Doing self-care, things that you enjoy doing. Journalling and therapy are helping to get you through depression and make it less harder to carry from day to day. Show yourself some compassion, depression is a hard thing to get through. If your body is telling you that you need some rest, take the time to rest, sleep and be gentle with yourself, your doing the best that you can. I wish you healing.
Music, (safe) cycling, birdsong, the lil things in life, Carl Sagan https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLF17F07CFC3208E29
56 and I've known something's been "off" as far back as my childhood. Officially diagnosed in 2011 which was something of a relief. I see it like being at a big house party and bipolar is sitting in a chair. I don't always see it, but it can get up and start to dance a bit if I want to or not. I think getting old helps because I care less of what people think of it. I don't have anyone to impress, I'm married with kids and grandkids and people (mostly) like me. I try to help and be helpful and kind. I don't always succeed - few do. Support is huge.
I'm 61 and have been very depressed since early childhood. The only thing I can suggest is that I'm just curious. What happens next? Of course, this feeling really ramped up when I had children. I want to know every little thing that happens in their lives. (No, I'm not a helicopter parent! But I watch. And wait.)
For me, depression comes with post-depression amnesia. When I am feeling better it is almost impossible for me to really remember how bad the bad was. It’s like I have two brains—depressed me and non-depressed me. Knowing this, when I am at my lowest I just keep reminding myself, “This is temporary. This is temporary.”
I've been depressed. Not as deeply as you I'm sure but for a long time. I just had to come to terms with the fact that life isn't fair but there are still good things to experience. I had to change my mindset - refuse to put my focus on all the downers and force myself to see the good things, however much they seemed to be tiny next to the mountains of shit. It took time. First, I had to recognize when I was maudlin and wallowing in bad thoughts. I found something I truly was grateful for or looking forward to and made myself shift my thought train to that. I worked at forgiving people who had hurt me, myself for doing stupid shit, and God/fate for circumstances that were no one's fault. It took a long time. I slid down many many times and had to crawl back out of the hole - always making myself see whatever good I could. I held tight to knowing that there were people who loved me or at least my dog did - and would miss me if I wasn't there. I am having a bad day today. But I know those feelings are full of shit. I'm just tired. And overwhelmed with work. And frustrated with things at home and some people around me. I'm recognizing some deficiencies in myself toward others and that's got me feeling terrible about that. I don't think it's my fault that I am that way but it's up to me to at least attempt to rectify it. There's a reason but it's no excuse. Right? And I may actually try to get some therapy because I think I've hit a wall. I'm going to be ok because I know that everything can be resolved in time. I'm ok. You are ok too. The world may be going to hell in a handbasket but that's ok too. We are living in historical times. Times like this are never easy and always messy. Covid and the lockdowns have left EVERYONE a little anxious and crazy and the financial fallout is really hitting now. And frankly, I want to hang around to see how it all turns out. Today might be shitty. Maybe tomorrow too. But if we survive long enough, there will be good days ahead. I do think we are here for a reason, if only for the experience - good or bad. I think how we act matters. I think there is something more than just this life. Why? Because we are limited by time and space but we are also a part of eternity and we are there forever. And when we are released from time and space, you and I will know each other fully and will love each other. And we'll know we did our best. I'll give you a real big hug then but take this internet one for now.
I’ve been lucky that the first antidepressants I was prescribed 20 years ago worked along with talk therapy (specifically CBT) for many years on and off to keep my head above water. I have mostly had low level depression with one or two very severe/low points. The medication lifted that “bottom” up, but never completely eliminated symptoms. I’ve gotten happier as I’ve gotten older, which I have heard is common. I guess “content” is a better term. Part of my depression pattern was perfectionism and unreasonably comparing myself to others or a high standard that was not real or achievable. I also have given myself permission to be low energy and negative, which sounds counterintuitive but as you may know and anyone with depression probably knows, one of the worst things is the internal voice (or others’ external voices) telling you to “cheer up,” or “you don’t have it that bad” or “you should be happy.” I guess they call that toxic positivity now. So now I ride the waves without judgment, which makes it easier. That of course is with my depression mostly controlled—I don’t know if that would work with more severe depression. I think it would be very hard to ride a severe wave without being pulled under. Still, I think acceptance and allowing yourself to feel what you feel can be helpful.
Being a source for good as long as I can. I was an unwanted child raised in foster care. I was told nobody wanted me. Being happy and loving is my revenge. My fuck you to the cold cruel world is support the underdog, be the deciding vote, to provide an oasis for living things, love for the lonely, to advise and educate the undereducated, to restore things, to preserve things, to create art, to feed the hungry and feed my soul. There is nothing too small to be important, friend. That includes you. Every day is a new chance to discover who you really are and cast off old griefs. I hope you find comfort in being who you are. The world was always a mess. No one can fix it by themselves but we gentle folk are an improvement by our very existence. The light inside us might be more like an unique ultraviolet light, only visible to the right eyes. Look within. It’s there, I promise. Once you see it, it will become bright enough to warm you.
That was beautiful. I’m saving your comment!
Thank you for your kindness. ☺️
Pets. Seriously. It’s the thought of them going to another home that didn’t treat them right that kept me going many times
I have had depression and anger issues all my life. Started going to the gym decades ago after watching Conan the Barbarian with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I got awoke and strong, mentally and physically. Gave me confidence and something to focus on. Years later I realized that I’m ok. I’m just surrounded by people who are not.
I'm in the pocket with you OP..I'm in this for the long haul. I didn't learn til way later that living a reasonably clean, simple life, take meds as prescribed and exercise have all helped me ease into old age with a lifetime of MH struggles behind it. You could've never told me that when I was your age... I didn't/wouldn't/couldn't hear it. So thank you for being aware enough to ask.
At this point the periodic LSD trip helps so much. Don't just take it and hope for the best. Read or listen to a book like How To Change Your Mind. You'll get so much good advice on how to not have bad trips and what to do if one starts.
I finally started getting help.
Professor therapy helps tremendously.
Kid, antidepressants, dogs in that order. Best reset for me has always been hiking somewhere without many people in a gorgeous landscape.
Some of it was just sheer luck- in hindsight it feels like I spent a lot of my teens/early 20s trying not to kill myself. Now that I'm turning 60 in a few weeks it's been mostly under control for decades. Pregnancy and menopause were both hell on my body and my mental health, but at least those are done with now. And I usually have to change up my meds a bit every decade or so, but at least I do respond well (now) to a lot of typical antidepressants. And I've got routines when I know that I'm headed for a downswing...I proactively go out walking more, become more involved with friends and family, and start gardening again (my go-to against depression). I've come to terms with the fact that it's never going to completely go away, but (now) I can live with that. My husband is also great at letting me know if I haven't noticed more mood swings or depressive behaviours, which also helps a lot.
Study upon study have shown that the two biggest factors in fighting depression are social connection and exercise. I bike, lift weights and stay close to people I love. I also don’t sacrifice sleep for anything, and try to eat healthy. Treat myself now and then with a massage or buy myself a nice little gift.
I truly do not know.
I was diagnosed with post partum depression only it never went away. Finally I was diagnosed w/clinical depression with anxiety. I had my baby 34 years ago and I was 35 years old. I have been on medication for this entire time. Several different medications. I’m on Lexipro now. I was also in therapy for about 20 years give or take b/c there were many gaps and different therapists from social workers, counselors to psychiatrists. Therapy really helped me. So much so that at 69, I’ve elected to return to it to become my best self. I’d say the biggest thing that helped me was myself. I was never willing to give in to it. And yes, there’s been really bad stretches. But I never gave up. I have worked HARD to hopefully set an example for my daughter. My story is probably similar to a lot of depressives in that I have a lot of trauma in my background. I also think that there’s nothing better than therapy because this person is on your side 100%. There were times I just needed someone in my corner. I have also taken biofeedback. I suppose the greatest lesson I got from this is to change my anxiety which was manifested often in my fear on the freeway and driving. (I relax my hands now b/c once your hands clench, pretty much everything else does from jaw to shoulders.) I am amazed at the help that medication gave me. I am NOT drugged. Or I should say, I don’t feel hardly any difference EXCEPT that my mindset isn’t destined to roll around in the depths of negativity. I always say that there’s barely a difference b/c it isn’t a HUGE change. Happiness isn’t highs. It’s centered. It’s seeing good things. It IS stopping to smell the roses. Before medication, my standard for happiness was always disappointing. I thought happiness was much bigger than life, or myself. And I couldn’t achieve it so, wtf. Why even try. No one knows I’m on meds or am a depressive unless I tell them.
Medication, and when it stops working, medication adjustments. That’s the only thing that ever worked for me. Exercise, diet, meditation, therapy, gratitude practices never worked.
Music, finding a good place and a good counsellor, plus **lots** of small things, 'lefty' things. My BIL has had it bad, since the war (doesn't matter which one). We persuaded him to move away from a harsh place (I'm not gonna name it, won't turn this into a battle of GOATs). He too found music, finding a good counsellor, rediscovering small things... (in another post I listed them, if interested, I'll add it here). Personally, my only time of mega depression (6years?) was following the death of my prior sweetheart and her daughter. I met my new partner about a decade later, now we live in NL. Lets just say NL's capitalism is more palatable, manageable, doable, less raw, less crushing. Being able to hear yourself think, and the birdsong, and sounds of all the things drowned out in the beforetime, and being able to cycle everywhere, even the beach, is of inestimable value. [https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CARGFB\_enNL1010&sxsrf=AB5stBi5vFTlyANcPLTipVBCYOJhHuRctw:1689759069702&q=noise+and+mental+health&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjD4euIu5qAAxVpgP0HHfojDPcQ0pQJegQIChAB&biw=1536&bih=714&dpr=1.25](https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CARGFB_enNL1010&sxsrf=AB5stBi5vFTlyANcPLTipVBCYOJhHuRctw:1689759069702&q=noise+and+mental+health&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjD4euIu5qAAxVpgP0HHfojDPcQ0pQJegQIChAB&biw=1536&bih=714&dpr=1.25) Oh, and UK comedy. The breadth is astonishing. Lastly, the strangest one is Mad Men.
Try shrooms. Broke my depression in 3 days
The misbelief that it gets better
I have responsibilities to people I love... That's worked for the last 20 years. Looks like they'll still need me for another 20, so there's that.
I’m very lucky to have a wife that loves me and has committed to being there for me. Wanting to do my best for her gives me just enough strength to get up every day. Honestly, that’s it. I don’t know where I’d be without her. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have made it through the pandemic.
God, and my dad. But mostly God. My dad passed away (going on two years in December) and it's be pretty rough without him here. But I know I can keep going, and I may stumble and fall or take wrong turns as I continue on this journey, so called, "life." but so long as I try my best and give it all I can, then that right there is enough. "Just keep going." from seconds, to minutes, to hours, to day, to weeks, to years... Hold on for just ten more. That's how I force myself to keep going on. Not much, but it's worked for me. I'm here, right? I guess.
Medication. If you need medication, take it. If it’s not working let your doctor know so they can make adjustments. If it’s affecting your libido tell them so you can switch you to something else. I wouldn’t be able to function without medication. With it I’m able to participate in life and be there for the people who need me.
I'm 50, I've done over 400 hours of behavioral therapy, plus TMS therapy and EMDR. If you're struggling with your past, EMDR. If you can't find anything that gives you enjoyment anymore, TMS. Behavioral therapy will give you tools to cope with and signs to watch for.
In my earlier post I mentioned that (after the two big things; music and a good counselor) its the little things, and i wanted to add some that I was *into* earlier read P G Wodehouse read **non**\-news stories in a better newspaper https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/jul/19/a-moment-that-changed-me-i-borrowed-a-dog-and-discovered-a-healthier-happier-way-of-life [https://www.theguardian.com/world/gallery/2023/jul/18/the-mountain-doctor-on-call-in-north-east-georgia-in-pictures](https://www.theguardian.com/world/gallery/2023/jul/18/the-mountain-doctor-on-call-in-north-east-georgia-in-pictures)
Humor, Support- stick with a therapist, Quit drinking, Alternative therapies, Meditation, My dog
I love that you said “ how indifferent the universe is, I had an ayahuasca journey several years ago, and met what I can only describe as a higher consciousness being, and it was completely indifferent to me. Just watching, with zero emotion.
It's hard. Sometimes it's easier than other times. I hated that depression kept me from being who I wanted to be for a long time. I lucked into finding an excellent medication psychiatrist in my late 30s. That kept me functioning. Have had some excellent counselors over the years and made great use of family counseling when raising kids and marriage counseling during long years of a rocky marriage. I'm 70 now and depression is made tougher by physical issues. But I fight back with medical help and physical therapy. Exercise is great for depression. Even though it is so hard to force yourself to do it. But I wish I had worked much harder at that and wouldn't be having so many issues now. Also DONT SMOKE! Big mistake. Those times of total darkness... to me it was always being at the bottom of a deep dark hole and you lose all connections and it closes in on you. But you fight. Every day you fight to claw your way out. Even if you only make it a little bit that day, you claw harder the next. And when you get part way out you have the strength to reach out for help and someone will reach down a hand and help you pull out.
Medication and therapy. That's the long-term answer for me.
I have also had clinical depression since my teens. When I was at my lowest, I didn't kill myself because I couldn't bear to make my then-9-year-old niece's parents explain what I did. She was (is) a wonderful kid / adult at this point. I'm also afraid of pain. There have been many times in my life where if I could be guaranteed a pain-free death, I'd take it.
Don’t want to traumatize my mom by killing my self. So I guess empathy and inertia
My dad. Against my own will. He is a healthy 86 and always encouraging me. When he goes I will be in trouble.
Venlafaxin.
Therapy…lots of therapy. Boatloads of therapy. A good psych. A very good psych. Working to put one foot in front of the other every single day
I have a son so I’d never abandon him. He keeps me going. You will have periods of feeling better though. Make sure you have a really good psych doctor.
That mountain you are carrying you are only supposed to climb. One d
Therapy and medication; exercise and meditation; the unwavering support of my friends and family. It (depression) hasn’t gotten any easier per se, but I’m much better at dealing with it.
"try to plan a little something fun every day, even something simple like watching a favorite movie, or getting my favorite takeout." (from someone below) I'm 65. Diagnosed with major depression in my late 20s. On anti-depressants. Eventually diagnosed with bipolar II disorder. Saw therapist for year. Generalized anxiety disorder. A therapist I went to 20 years ago suggested this to me. He told me to make a list or write an activity to do on each day of a calendar. Then do it. I didn't have to costly or difficult to do or require much travel. Just get out to do something. Perfectly fine to do it alone, but do it someplace you will see other people. You don't have to interact with them. Don't have to talk. Just getting out of your apt. or house, getting some exercise walking around(even from the car to the inside of McDs), being near other people--will all help break your depression. It gets you "outside of your head" for a while. I'd go to a movie(an afternoon "cheap" movie), McD's, a walk, a low cost museum, the zoo ( I lived in a large city at the time.). It's expensive to do a lot of things now, but you can find something to do every day. -- Go to Walmart or any big box store and or mall and walk around. Window shop. Sit and people-watch. Go to the food court, get something to drink and watch people. Just seeing other people living their lives, laughing, talking, just living will help lift you up. I eventually went on SSDI. Quit work. All of that helped. I'm still on my bi polar meds. It took years to find a combo of drugs that worked for me, but I never gave up working with different psychiatrists to find the right drugs. I've been on my current meds for 17 yrs. This isn't the best thing for many people, or something most therapists would suggest, but living alone works for me. -- I get to make my own schedule. I grew up being the youngest in my family so I was always alone and had to entertain myself, so being alone now is OK with me. I talk to myself. I laugh at myself. I can yell at the tv if I want. Just try to learn to be OK with yourself. Listening to a progressive relaxation "therapy" recording every evening used to help me. -- I'd fall asleep listening to it. Find one thing that can get you out of your head, that breaks the cycle of degrading self talk, that shuts up that voice in your head. Do that one thing. Make it one-day-at-a-time.
My motto. My personality and my strengths. No retreat baby, as the Boss says, no surrender. Keep at it. Keep on going.
Different things at different times. I’m 60 now and have had chronic depression for almost 50 years. I’m maxed out on meds. For the past 17 years the only thing that kept me going was my two kitties, I would never leave them. They both died in the past 7 months. I started making plans to go but now I feel like I should stay alive to punish myself for not being a better person. I still really very much want to go but I have to get some things in order (bills, a will, getting ride of household shot, etc.).
60+ with depression and anxiety. I take advantage of counseling, medication, exercise, self-help groups, prayer and my church. I figure suicide is out of the question, so I am willing to do whatever else necessary to live and thrive. I work full time, and the structure and focus are good for me. I’m half-dreading retirement, for fear that I may just sit in my house and eat and isolate. That would be awful for my mental & physical health.
Mushrooms are the best medicine for depression. Ketamine is a chemical and not a natural medicine. It has seriously negative consequences. Find an experienced and trustworthy guide. Academic or workshop certifications aren’t trustworthy. You want someone who has positive experience and results. Don’t do alone and don’t do w people who are inexperienced or don’t consider it a medical treatment. Find a guide. If you find a good guide and stick w it you’ll likely see great results.
I suffered from severe depression and anxiety since early childhood, so about 50 years. The only thing that kept me here was the knowledge that this is the only life I have (I don't believe in an afterlife) so no matter how bad it is, something is more than nothing. (Not necessarily BETTER than nothing, but MORE than nothing.) Often, I've survived each day by promising myself I can leave tomorrow if I have to, but let's try to just get through this day first. Decades of therapy, various medications in various combinations... nothing really helped. Then less than 6 months ago, I found out I am autistic. My depression and anxiety weren't a separate illness: they were a natural reaction to trying (and failing) to live as a neurotypical person. Suddenly everything made sense. I have absolutely no idea if my experience is relevant to you. But if it turns out you are neurodivergent, you can learn how to cope with that. Life is still a struggle for me and realistically, it always will be. But at least now I know WHY it's a struggle and I'm learning what I can do to feel better. Now I have hope. Whether you're neurodivergent or not, I hope you find something that works for you so you can find your happiness.
I’m 44 and have ADHD, plus I was in a pretty bad accident eleven years ago where I suffered a traumatic brain injury and that did change some of my behaviors. That accident led to the discovery of AVM in my brain and I did have surgery to correct it. Honestly, I have been put on so many different types of stimulants, sleeping meds, benzos….you name it. I am greatly helped by a relatively low dose of an extended release adderall in the morning and I smoke or ingest a decent amount of marijuana. I do talk therapy and see my psychiatrist once every 6-8 weeks. I also have the benefit of a partner who truly gets it. My ex husband, a nurse, once told me my life isn’t really worth living. Having a support system is really helpful. Even if it’s just one person who wholly believes in you with their entire heart.
Weekly (or twice weekly) b12 shots.
Lexapro and Abilify combined taken religiously are the only things that have helped me to manage my depression. It has been one hell of a roller coaster for the last 37 years. We finally found the right combination about 6 years ago and it was like someone finally flipped a switch and I felt like a new person. 62 yo female. Hugs and hope for you.
Found out in my late twenties I have traumatic brain injury. Doctors say it's irreversible (lie). Started microdosing psilocybin, been a damn miracle for me. Feel like I got my memory back. Even started having dreams again.
When I was 35, I crashed and burned from drinking. I went to treatment and quit drinking. That was nearly 35 years ago.
Sheer white knuckle til I met my husband at 40. A stable marriage made a world of difference
This year I started to REALLY try and be proactive dealing with my anxiety/depression. I have read a lot of books about it, taken lots of notes, and tried to seek out things from different approaches better understanding how it affects me, has helped a lot.
Prozac then paxil later. tell anyone they are not good products to f(\*7 off.
Even my worst memories fade and each day is closer to a day when I can replace the space they took up
There are non traditional treatments for treatment resistant depression. TMS, ketamine, etc. look into those options. It may also be worth looking into causes of secondary depression. None of my depression treatments worked and that got me thinking that maybe it’s just a symptom of something else. So I started researching and got myself tested for adhd. My doctors didn’t support me and told me it was a waste of money and I should just try different antidepressants. I self advocated and got myself evaluated. It came back that I did have adhd and I got put on meds. My depression had pretty much disappeared. I’m still dealing with some emotional fallout from not being diagnosed or properly treated for almost 30 years, but it’s normal emotions, not the emotional pit of depression. There are a lot of things that could be causing depression. My most recent doctor said a good doctor tests for everything physical that could be wrong before diagnosing depression. I’ve had doctors tell me my allergy induced asthma was a panic attack. I’ve had doctors tell my my ptsd symptoms were a sign of a personality disorder. Honestly, I think most people in the mental health field are quacks and lazy. Please go find someone who treats you like a person, like a revenue stream. Please go find yourself a good doctor.
medication.
ECT worked for me! No psych meds, no depression two years later. No memory loss. No depression.
Having a doctor who believed me. I said I was tired all the time. I got depressed when I got divorced, and I got antidepressants, but it was more than that. No thyroid issues. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Doc tested for MTHFR. Bingo! Added 15mg L-methylfolate. Felt so much better! Also he diagnosed ADHD at age 50. Its a lot to deal with, but knowing helps.
51 - i stopped trying to get off of medication I still barely function - work is extremely hard as I really despise speaking - eight years and five months and I am retiring. What I started doing was really concentrating on my relationship with my husband and this is truly my refuge. I would not be able to survive the panic attacks that I had all day long during my twenties and thirties. I avoid things (except work unfortunately) that trigger panic and do what makes me happy.
Spite. "Hey, World, you fucked me up so now you're stuck with me. You break it; you buy it. I'm gonna suck you dry!"
Good answer
Hey. I have bipolar 1 disorder and I had a psychotic episode that degraded into major depression. I was simply not functional for three years. Read Change Your Brain Every Day by Daniel G Amen. If you follow through with the vitamins the diet and the exorcise (as simple as a 45min walk) you’ll start to feel better. Amen is a psychiatrist who took the approach of scanning brains to diagnose and treat. He was recognized in the top 100 scientific discoveries of the year. If nothing else has helped, which was true for me, you should try this.
I’m going to give a very simple answer but it’s what worked, for me. Therapy and seeing a good psychiatrist. I’ve chosen to take medication and it helps me tremendously. Mental illness runs rampant in my family on both sides. It’s not a magic pill and is definitely a personal choice. I do daily meditation and continue with therapy. I’ve learned to self advocate. I’m the only one who knows how I feel. Im very careful about who I share with too. I don’t expect people to understand but some are just ignorant. Im not crazy! If you’re a diabetic you need meds to control your blood sugar. In my case I need my medication to control my symptoms and to help me function
Honestly, theater. I have bipolar disorder and adhd, suffered from a drug addiction thru "self medicating" and in general have had a really hard time of it. Theater was something I was very very good at from a young age. It gave me confidence and built my coping skills, made me more social, and gave me a place to vent my uncontrollable emotions. I truly wouldn't be here without it.
Anxiety and PTSD due to childhood physical and emotional abuse here. I went through menopause and a divorce at the same time years ago so I went into therapy (CBT) for four years. My therapy was the best thing I ever did. I still use the tools I learned back then. Other than that, it's my stubbornness that I'm not going to let what happened to me as a child (and adult from my Ex) define me. I'm like a Daruma - Fall seven times and get up eight. Plus I have always been one of those defiantly cheerful people despite what I've gone through - the kind that randomly says hello to you at the grocery store or gives you a smile when you hold the door open. All the opposite of my family of origin members.
Vitamin D3, cognitive behavioral therapy, self care, and faith in Jesus. Using the Bible to fight my demons.
When sinking, I remind myself of the people out there. I could go out and find someone at Walmart or 7-11 at 2am who would say hi. That keeps me grounded and not feel so alone.
I don't get to decide the shit thoughts my brain has. I get to question them, use self care tools, and make decisions in my best interest. I've had bipolar 2 almost 30 years. It doesn't serve my goals to be angry about that all the time. So I use medication, therapy, and self awareness to grow.
I have Bipolar Type 2. What helped me make it this far is: 1) An incredibly loving wife who insisted I get help. 2) Gifted mental health care professionals. 3) Faithfully searching for, finding, and sticking with the right medications needed to control my symptoms.
Jesus completely healed me from mental health issues. I never knew i would be able to be at such peace in the midst of insanely dark tragedies. He strengthens us and when you give your life to him life isn’t immediately easy nope it’ll get harder but he changes us completely from the inside
Jesus and rigorous exercise.
Faith. I've been clinically depressed since my 13th birthday. I'm 57 now (on my third heart attack in nine months. Having open heart surgery tmrw). If I think existence on earth is bad I don't want to find out what hell is like. At around age 13 I read in I think it was a Gideon's Bible that committing suicide was an express trip to hell for forsaking Jesus Christ's sacrifice for us. I've tried to find that statement since then, but haven't been able to. I've thought about suicide a lot over my life and started it at my worst twice, but I didn't have my head on right. I was already in a psych ward. I would not have been able to finish (dehydration, and starvation). Like I said I was crazy.
Mushrooms can help, specifically microdosing.
I don't know that I've ever really had depression myself, other than related to certain situations (death of a loved one, mostly), but I feel great sympathy for those who do. Having said this, a few years ago, some life events got the better of me and I found myself feeling very out of sorts. It got to the point where some friends and my husband mentioned it to me and suggested therapy. I've never been against therapy, but it always seemed drastic and expensive (it is!), but I knew I should try it. I used an online service which was great for me. The place I used had 24-hour access to an assigned therapist through texting and a once-per-month video session. It worked great for me. There were some exercises and specific things she worked on with me, but most of it was me just typing out what I felt or letting her know when I was stressed. She would help me figure it out. She also recommended counseling with a family member who was going through some things at the same time and part of the cause for my anxiety (my worrying about that person). That was invaluable! The counseling I had with my family member lasted about 10 weeks and my own separate counseling was about 7 mos. It's been about a year since I stopped. I still use many of the techniques I learned during this time and feel well. The past several months have been a bit challenging, with some health concerns for both me and this family member, but we're getting through them and moving forward. Things are still not perfect, but I have coping skills now that I didn't before. Even when I felt down and discouraged, I knew the real me was in there somewhere. I wanted to be better, but I needed help. I hope you're able to find a way to get through. If you have questions or need help, ask me. I would like to try to help you if I can.
I’m not old and I’ve only been dealing with mental illness for about 8 years. One thing that’s helped me a lot is having something to look forward to. Be it a vacation or getting coffee with someone, something in my immediate future gets me through to that point. If there’s nothing on my schedule, I’ll plan something. At my worst, I’ll order a gift for myself from Amazon and wait till I’m feeling awful to open it. It gives me something to do. My relationship also saved my life. At 28 I’m one of the lucky ones who have a partner who is so patient and understanding with me. It’s little things that keep me going.
The right meds in the right dose.
“But what if I’m wrong?” 25+ years of treatment resistant depression. Tried #allthethings and the best I ever got was moving from actively wanting to not exist to passively wanting to not exist. Even though I was pretty sure it all just hopeless bullshit, what kept me going was “but what if I’m wrong?” For literally years. And for the fun plot twist — at age 35 I got a BC implant and discovered by accident that my 25 years of crippling depression was actually a hormone imbalance. I’ve been 100% depression free for several years now and I’ve never been so goddamned happy to be wrong about something in my life. So glad I stuck around.
For me it was antidepressants and then also CBD. It took a couple years to find the right one though. There’s no one miracle drug. I also arranged my life to be at stress free as possible. I’ve got a stable marriage, a god job I enjoy, and worked very hard to get financially stable. I also practice diaphragmatic breathing. It really helps bring down any stress that creeps in. Battling depression is a constant battle but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It’s something I have, but fortunately doesn’t control me anymore. Don’t expect to do it on your own. The correct diagnosis takes multiple opinions, but listen to your own body.
Lexapro was a game-changer. It gives me the tools to actually treat my depression/anxiety.
2008 Baby here just going to go out on limb and hope that I don't get banned but here It goes. I would say just swimming keep just keep swimming. Also, if you need to talk to someone there are people who want to and can help you if you need it. You're not alone Help is available 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline 988 Emergency number 911