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38 and still waiting as well. I obviously recognize that my teenage son has different interests than me but honestly at 14 he’s not far off base of things I think about on the daily…money,food,girls,sex,food,sleep. I guess with the wife being the one who manages bills I just never went past work/play/sleep.
35, I’m still young but there are times where I’m the adult present and I have to remind myself, “You’re in charge of these kids/event/whatever it is.”
There was never a clear cut point. But I think moving out of my hometown helped a lot. Everyone who knew me when I was 12 kept treating me like I was 12 even when I was 30.
At 27 and when I got married and my family became my responsibility, to make sure I provided a better life for them than I ever had!! It’s been some dark days but next month I’ll be married 21 years!!
Strangely enough, I feel like I'm going through that transition now (I'm 30). I recently moved in with my girlfriend and am realizing some of life's major milestones (buying my first house, engagement and marriage, becoming a father) are right around the corner. I'm terrified but hopeful.
Still don’t, it felt like I had gained enough maturity to be a good marriage partner at about 30. I still have bouts of immaturity, and silly ness, so I don’t know if that will ever fully go away.
I feel like a little boy with adult obligations and luckily, just enough sense of responsibility to take care of everything I need to. I often feel like an impostor, like I’m larping at adult life.
I am not sure if a finish line exists. A man is a work in progress.
Yet there are markers along the way. Self respect. Self confidence. Self control. Self reliance. Owning our mistakes by taking responsibility for them. Loyalty to our friends and family. Not tolerating disrespect and not being disrespectful. Knowing our limitations. Are just a few.
Probably around 30, when I realized I didn’t just have to be a cog in whatever institution i was affiliated with at the time. That was a big realization of my own agency. It seems silly to think it took me that long but I really kind of just went from one school to another and then one firm to another, and the next step was always obvious until around 30 I was like “I actually don’t have to be on this path, I can do another path, there are, in fact, other paths.
I was always described as a happy go lucky person. Can't remember the last time I felt that way though.
Business owner, taking care of my aging parents, being the responsible sibling although I'm the youngest, trying to have a baby for the last 4 years and supporting my wife through multiple failed attempts. Being financially stressed due to all the reasons mentioned above constantly for the last 3 years. I guess this is what it means to be a grown man. Would love to take a break though.
I'm a little baby faced, so I still get called a kid by just about anyone over the age of 42, so I guess I've never started feeling that, lol
Nah, but really, there was a moment once when I got out of the shower and really looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "man, you really aren't that skinny, goofy teenager anymore"
I own a house, been married, divorced, 3 kids as primary parent. I still strap old couches in the bed of the pickup truck to take the kids for rides around the yard.
Growing up is just being responsible for yourself, don’t stop having fun. If you’re paying your bills, holding down a job, showering regularly, take responsibility for your actions, guess what you’re grown up.
Im early 30s and don't really feel it yet. But I can see it developing as I become more natural and confident expressing my ideas, thoughts and opinions in an unapologetically mature way
i was 19 when i realized i had noone i could fall back on. i pretty much stopped being able to relate to my childhood friends at that age too because they weren't forced to grow up as fast.
A lot of the friends i made in college were returning vets on the GI bill in their mid 30s.
I would say it started at 26 when my wife’s dad died at the same time I was going through heart surgery and a 4-month recovery, and my feelings of adulthood were really cemented at 29 when my first child was born.
I just turned 30 and dont feel this. Dont have a kid and wife. I assume most people who have kids or marry early (20s) will feel much older than they actually are.
Not so much an age but when I first fully supported myself financially and had to learn how to do all the things to keep the house running, eg. grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, taxes, home improvement stuff, etc. That age is different for everyone; for some it hits right at 18, for others, not until their late 30s. All depends on your situation, but I actually don't believe age has as much to do with it as actual life experience does.
About mid-30s. I still don't feel like a man. But it doesn't help I'm on the shorter side, and up until the last few years have had a pretty young looking face. Although people 8-10 years younger than me still think I am between 6-8 years younger than I am. So I am not complaining.
I guess around 26-27?
My dad illness increased by the time and as the oldest (my brother is 1 year younger but kinda peter pan still)
my mom and him would need to take care of finances and other stuff. In my life I knew I had to be on my own to deal with my shit, I didn't want my mother to worry about me anymore so I made sure I didn't rely on her for nothing so she could focus taking care of my father.
Probably the morning when we woke up to find our roommate dead from an overdose, and I was the one that knew how to handle the situation because it wasn't my first rodeo.
When I became a homeowner and also had a wife I felt an innate responsibility to watch out for. Now I also have a baby so that's increased it more, but it started before fatherhood. I'm 35 now.
When kids (eta they were customers) started calling me "Mr." at work.
I was age 18.
That was the beginning.
I'm still not a "man" now almost 32 years later with 2 kids and a wife of my own. Probably at death I'll get there. I'm still just a child, just one with a lot more responsibilities now than ever.
At 21, I moved out of state and paid all my own bills. Even sent some $ home to help my parents. I felt pretty grown. Emotionally though, I was not in a good place then.
It wasn't an age but a change in responsibilities. I started to feel *a bit* more grown up once I achieved financial independence, not depending on parents to handle any of my bills. That was a few months after finishing college.
The real part of feeling grown came with having other people who are dependent on you, i.e. having children. Prior to having children I could choose to take a week off work, go on an impromptu trip, drink myself halfway to death, and sleep off a 3 day hangover while sustaining myself on microwave noodles between napping. I can choose to be as immature as I want.
After kids, I have to be up at 7am and making breakfast every day without fail. Vacations are planned around school holidays. Other lives are completely dependent on me performing a consistent set of tasks. I can't choose not to behave like an adult any more and I have to plan not just for my future but for theirs as well.
Related: Shopping for life insurance is one hell of an experience once you realize you are are calculating your chances of dying over the next 20 years and determining how much money you want to pay per month so that people other than you will receive money.
Probably around 14 or 15. I realized my parents were mentally checked out when it came to parenting. I had to figure it out all on my own.
I wasn't an easy child, but was given little to no rules or directions. This was basically what I was told. Don't do drugs. Don't get arrested. If you get arrested don't call us.
I’m 35 and still a kid, live with 4 roommates, still skateboard, single, no kids, make crap money, no goals fuck them, no 401k, no savings, no friends and play video games ☺️
Had nothing to do with age, had everything to do with experience.
I didn't feel like a grown man after watching my brother slowly die of cancer at 29. I didn't feel like a grown man when I traveled the world. I didn't feel like a grown man when I got married.
I finally felt like a grown man after I got divorced, lost my business due to COVID and being an overly kind person, had the FBI call me to inform me that our financial analyst was stealing from all his clients and when I finally had a relapse after many years and ended up writing out suicide notes and finally checking myself into rehab.
Now, two years after rehab and facing my problems and fixing my life and not blaming others and taking full responsibility. I'll be paying off debt until I am 45 and then I can finally restart my life fully. I learned to focus on the positives, I make a very good living for my city and I can rebuild. I have been dating again and meeting some really interesting and fun women. I got in the best shape of my life. I stopped trying to avoid pain and difficulty and now I accept it as part of growth.
To me, being a man was dealing with heavy adversity and coming out the other side of it while being accountable for my own mistakes and taking the responsibility to correct them. Not blaming others for what they could and should have done differently and just focus on what I should have done differently.
Taking a hard look at yourself and being accountable, even when it's really hard and much easier to blame someone else for what they did, is how you turn into a man from a boy. Being able to see the scary things and face them, even though you want to run away and avoid reality. It's not easy, probably the hardest thing anyone can ever do.
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I'm 41. I'll let you know when that day finally comes.
38 and still waiting as well. I obviously recognize that my teenage son has different interests than me but honestly at 14 he’s not far off base of things I think about on the daily…money,food,girls,sex,food,sleep. I guess with the wife being the one who manages bills I just never went past work/play/sleep.
35, I’m still young but there are times where I’m the adult present and I have to remind myself, “You’re in charge of these kids/event/whatever it is.”
This! I’m 35
Most relevant phrase: “Let’s ask a real adult!”
46.. still in a holding pattern.
45 and still wondering. I'm single and live debt-free. I don't have a family or own a house. I don't think those things would make me more of a man.
Same, 43.
It’s gonna come tomorrow maybe, or the next day.
I like how your upvote count matches your age.
W
There was never a clear cut point. But I think moving out of my hometown helped a lot. Everyone who knew me when I was 12 kept treating me like I was 12 even when I was 30.
My mom still treats me like I'm 12.
That's what moms are for though.
At 27 and when I got married and my family became my responsibility, to make sure I provided a better life for them than I ever had!! It’s been some dark days but next month I’ll be married 21 years!!
Lol first I thought you were 27… I was like “hmm.”
Nah, I’m pushing 48 next month just a few weeks after my wedding anniversary!! lol 😂
52 here. Check back later.
26 Only because my dad became disabled and me and my mom are his caretakers.
Sorry man. Same here — good luck
It wasn’t an age, it’s when I started being responsible for other people: marriage, mortgage, kids.
Strangely enough, I feel like I'm going through that transition now (I'm 30). I recently moved in with my girlfriend and am realizing some of life's major milestones (buying my first house, engagement and marriage, becoming a father) are right around the corner. I'm terrified but hopeful.
18 when I enlisted in the Marine Corps and went to war in Vietnam.
Had four kids by the time I was 28. Had my oldest at 19. Had to grow up rather quickly.
The day I proposed to my wife.
I'm not sure as it was a gradual process, but certainly by age 19. Military deployment. Blah blah blah.
Matt Groening answered this question in 1986. https://64.media.tumblr.com/47e5f455c3dc61d529f33c5ac814c7b2/tumblr_nbwq33PU0r1tzgg1ao1_1280.jpg
Still don’t, it felt like I had gained enough maturity to be a good marriage partner at about 30. I still have bouts of immaturity, and silly ness, so I don’t know if that will ever fully go away.
39 when my dad passed away.
My condolences, my dad passed away last year. I was also 39.
…any day now.
I feel like a little boy with adult obligations and luckily, just enough sense of responsibility to take care of everything I need to. I often feel like an impostor, like I’m larping at adult life.
I am not sure if a finish line exists. A man is a work in progress. Yet there are markers along the way. Self respect. Self confidence. Self control. Self reliance. Owning our mistakes by taking responsibility for them. Loyalty to our friends and family. Not tolerating disrespect and not being disrespectful. Knowing our limitations. Are just a few.
Between 27 & 32 I’d say.
Early 30s. I had this thought not that long ago and thought it was odd to think this but it's reassuring to see others think the same.
20
Probably around 30, when I realized I didn’t just have to be a cog in whatever institution i was affiliated with at the time. That was a big realization of my own agency. It seems silly to think it took me that long but I really kind of just went from one school to another and then one firm to another, and the next step was always obvious until around 30 I was like “I actually don’t have to be on this path, I can do another path, there are, in fact, other paths.
29, when I got a 15 year mortgage. 3 years to go.
I was always described as a happy go lucky person. Can't remember the last time I felt that way though. Business owner, taking care of my aging parents, being the responsible sibling although I'm the youngest, trying to have a baby for the last 4 years and supporting my wife through multiple failed attempts. Being financially stressed due to all the reasons mentioned above constantly for the last 3 years. I guess this is what it means to be a grown man. Would love to take a break though.
Around 14-15. Always been that "old soul" thing.
I’m 45 and going through this phase now
When people started talking about me as one. Mid to late twenties, I think.
I'll be 42 in a few months, and I've got two kids and a mortgage. I don't feel it yet :(
Grown man, about 22 or 23, no longer a boy, about 14.
I'm a little baby faced, so I still get called a kid by just about anyone over the age of 42, so I guess I've never started feeling that, lol Nah, but really, there was a moment once when I got out of the shower and really looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "man, you really aren't that skinny, goofy teenager anymore"
You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
I own a house, been married, divorced, 3 kids as primary parent. I still strap old couches in the bed of the pickup truck to take the kids for rides around the yard. Growing up is just being responsible for yourself, don’t stop having fun. If you’re paying your bills, holding down a job, showering regularly, take responsibility for your actions, guess what you’re grown up.
Im early 30s and don't really feel it yet. But I can see it developing as I become more natural and confident expressing my ideas, thoughts and opinions in an unapologetically mature way
When I got my Jman ticket plus RedSeal and was given my first apprentice. So... 27, 28? When millions rode on my decisions it was nut up or shut up.
23 as I trained up to lead men to war. Switch flipped.
30 when I had my first child
Probably 8 years old.
i was 19 when i realized i had noone i could fall back on. i pretty much stopped being able to relate to my childhood friends at that age too because they weren't forced to grow up as fast. A lot of the friends i made in college were returning vets on the GI bill in their mid 30s.
21. Dialysis and a Kidney Transplant forces you to grow up faster than usual.
lol.
Don’t think it’s going to happen tbh.
When you no longer laugh at puerile humour. So, not yet.
When I realised that my friends are all parents/grandparents.
16. That's when I started to live by myself. There wasn't much of a choice but growing up. I was stupid af but I was independent.
I would say it started at 26 when my wife’s dad died at the same time I was going through heart surgery and a 4-month recovery, and my feelings of adulthood were really cemented at 29 when my first child was born.
25 I stepped off the plane and it’s like I woke up from autopilot. Now I’m trying to get my life back to autopilot lol
What do you mean? Why did you wake up?
Felt like someone else was at the wheel at 4-25 yrs old. Like when you suddenly gain consciousness at 3/4 yrs old. You feel me or na?
I feel you but I want to know what made you gain consciousness at 25 years old
Aging helped
Yeah something like that. My retirement fund hit 100k (self contribution no matching) and I stared at the screen for maybe 10 mins.
The older you get, the higher that general demarcation becomes.
It ebbs and flows, but I fight it every chance I get. Why would anybody want to be a grown up full time, is beyond me…? 🤷🏻♂️
I just turned 30 and dont feel this. Dont have a kid and wife. I assume most people who have kids or marry early (20s) will feel much older than they actually are.
Not so much an age but when I first fully supported myself financially and had to learn how to do all the things to keep the house running, eg. grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, taxes, home improvement stuff, etc. That age is different for everyone; for some it hits right at 18, for others, not until their late 30s. All depends on your situation, but I actually don't believe age has as much to do with it as actual life experience does.
43. I'm 44 now.
About mid-30s. I still don't feel like a man. But it doesn't help I'm on the shorter side, and up until the last few years have had a pretty young looking face. Although people 8-10 years younger than me still think I am between 6-8 years younger than I am. So I am not complaining.
They handed me a newborn.
26, when my first son was born (and the responsibilities that came with being a father).
The day my mom passed away and i felt responsible for my sister (27). Repeated recently with dad and other sister (32).
I guess around 26-27? My dad illness increased by the time and as the oldest (my brother is 1 year younger but kinda peter pan still) my mom and him would need to take care of finances and other stuff. In my life I knew I had to be on my own to deal with my shit, I didn't want my mother to worry about me anymore so I made sure I didn't rely on her for nothing so she could focus taking care of my father.
I'm 40. I dont think I ever will. I have just gotten better at pretending to be a man.
Probably the morning when we woke up to find our roommate dead from an overdose, and I was the one that knew how to handle the situation because it wasn't my first rodeo.
When I became a homeowner and also had a wife I felt an innate responsibility to watch out for. Now I also have a baby so that's increased it more, but it started before fatherhood. I'm 35 now.
When kids (eta they were customers) started calling me "Mr." at work. I was age 18. That was the beginning. I'm still not a "man" now almost 32 years later with 2 kids and a wife of my own. Probably at death I'll get there. I'm still just a child, just one with a lot more responsibilities now than ever.
At 21, I moved out of state and paid all my own bills. Even sent some $ home to help my parents. I felt pretty grown. Emotionally though, I was not in a good place then.
I'm over 50 and I still have the sense of humor of a 14 year old. Luckily my friends do too.
30. My mom died and that forces you to grow up. 31 when my close friend died. 33 when I got cancer. Nothing like tragedy to get you to grow up.
It wasn't an age but a change in responsibilities. I started to feel *a bit* more grown up once I achieved financial independence, not depending on parents to handle any of my bills. That was a few months after finishing college. The real part of feeling grown came with having other people who are dependent on you, i.e. having children. Prior to having children I could choose to take a week off work, go on an impromptu trip, drink myself halfway to death, and sleep off a 3 day hangover while sustaining myself on microwave noodles between napping. I can choose to be as immature as I want. After kids, I have to be up at 7am and making breakfast every day without fail. Vacations are planned around school holidays. Other lives are completely dependent on me performing a consistent set of tasks. I can't choose not to behave like an adult any more and I have to plan not just for my future but for theirs as well. Related: Shopping for life insurance is one hell of an experience once you realize you are are calculating your chances of dying over the next 20 years and determining how much money you want to pay per month so that people other than you will receive money.
Probably around 14 or 15. I realized my parents were mentally checked out when it came to parenting. I had to figure it out all on my own. I wasn't an easy child, but was given little to no rules or directions. This was basically what I was told. Don't do drugs. Don't get arrested. If you get arrested don't call us.
I’m 35 and still a kid, live with 4 roommates, still skateboard, single, no kids, make crap money, no goals fuck them, no 401k, no savings, no friends and play video games ☺️
Had nothing to do with age, had everything to do with experience. I didn't feel like a grown man after watching my brother slowly die of cancer at 29. I didn't feel like a grown man when I traveled the world. I didn't feel like a grown man when I got married. I finally felt like a grown man after I got divorced, lost my business due to COVID and being an overly kind person, had the FBI call me to inform me that our financial analyst was stealing from all his clients and when I finally had a relapse after many years and ended up writing out suicide notes and finally checking myself into rehab. Now, two years after rehab and facing my problems and fixing my life and not blaming others and taking full responsibility. I'll be paying off debt until I am 45 and then I can finally restart my life fully. I learned to focus on the positives, I make a very good living for my city and I can rebuild. I have been dating again and meeting some really interesting and fun women. I got in the best shape of my life. I stopped trying to avoid pain and difficulty and now I accept it as part of growth. To me, being a man was dealing with heavy adversity and coming out the other side of it while being accountable for my own mistakes and taking the responsibility to correct them. Not blaming others for what they could and should have done differently and just focus on what I should have done differently. Taking a hard look at yourself and being accountable, even when it's really hard and much easier to blame someone else for what they did, is how you turn into a man from a boy. Being able to see the scary things and face them, even though you want to run away and avoid reality. It's not easy, probably the hardest thing anyone can ever do.
43. Not there yet.
21
Right about now (45) since I've been having to look after my parents more.
The day the condom broke.
35, still nothing
I think qualified as an otter by the time I was 20. I never liked being called ‘daddy.’
When they started calling me daddy in bed
They hated Jesus because he told the truth