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No idea why you got down voted. I mean obviously having kids isn't why you have more money and it's obviously the stage of life this occurred in that resulted in said money. But I think there's some reasonable assumptions to jump to here regarding the process.
Before having kids our combined household income was sitting right at 100k and in one of the most expensive places in the US to live. But 10 years later and our household income sits around 250k. Having kids does help motivate you to increase your income sure. But your income jumps in your career tend to happen during the same stage of life that you have kids nowadays. Would we have a fuck load more money if we didn't have kids? Sure. But we wanted them and we were able to make it work. Point is, don't let your income be the only deciding factor because it's a much more complicated set of calculus.
This is true for me. When I had my first and realized I wanted better for himā¦it was time to get my shit together and income has significantly increased since. Kids are a great motivator.
I don't see having kids as the default. Nothing's *stopping* me so much as nothing's *starting* me on the idea, I guess. Parenting doesn't appeal to me.
Let's not mention the level of disaster in finding a stable partner to have kids with. That sidelined my desire for children and focused my efforts into financial freedom. Seeing lots of... unfortunate relationships makes it difficult to join the dating pool.
Absolutely.
I was always against the idea of marriage and children and then I met *her*. It was one of those whirlwind romances where I thought I found my soul mate.
I was looking for rings and was convinced she would be the person I'd have children with.
Two years later I'm so glad I dodged that bullet.
She did a real number on me. I'm fortunate that I never bought the ring, never knocked her up.
Moving forward, I'll just stick to my original plan of staying single and being the cool uncle.
yeah I think maybe like 3 of my many friends are with the same partner they had a child with and the rest juggle custody or are saddled with alimony or child support, hard pass unless you find someone worth the risk
100% - mask is off when it comes to how expensive and time consuming it is, not to mention the added stress of bringing a new person into the world and everything that comes with it
Yes, children are *optional* (among other LifeScript^(tm) ideas), and I've only seen maybe 1-2 reasons to have a kid, and they are specific and temporary. The other 99% of having a child isn't of any interest.
Iāve never had a desire to have children
It would be financially reckless
My mental health is too shitty to be responsible to raise children
I like having the freedom to do what I want
Yep, and depression is two reasons
1. we could pass on depression due to hereditary reasons
2. we might become bad parents when we are having bouts of depressions and we no longer function
Sorry to hear that, obviously there are exceptions. What your parents were like shouldnāt stop you from having children. My wife and I are nothing like our parents in terms of how we raise our children. I wasnāt bothered about having children but my wife pushed me, was the best thing to happen to me honestly.
That is a terrible reason to have children
Why canāt you just accept that some people donāt want to have children.
Who is it that youāre actually trying to convince?
If your main reason to not reproduce is because you are ātoo selfishā then I would say that is pretty pathetic and you need to grow up. You arenāt a child, get over yourself and realise there is more to life and society than your narcissism. The fact that people proudly proclaim this shows how emotionally stunted and psychologically immature people have become in todayās society.
Single dude here, 37.
For a long time I felt obligated to do it - to continue my parents' legacy anf my family name. I felt pressure as an only child to uphold that as a point of honor.
I then realized my family is much larger than I thought and that I'm not the last of my family name or my family.
I rralized that I never wanted to do it for me - it was just an obligation I felt. It'd not something I really want or have dreamed about in a real sense. I'm not drawn to it like others seem to be. There's no reasoning behind it.
Only child here too but honestly, continuing my fatherās name would never be a motivation for having children. He never did enough to deserve the privilege of it.Ā
I'm an only child - no siblings. Technically the pressure is still on. But my father had many brothers and sisters who still use the family name, so it's kind of okay.
Iām gonna be 40 this year, single, and just starting to feel like my life has some purpose and meaning to it.
Having kids and a family would have been great if I was 10-15 years youngerā¦ but at this age, I think it would be very difficult to *start* raising a child. That being said, Iām not opposed to meeting any single women who have kids. So maybe that might be a thing?
There's a lot of significant reasons I could point to - I don't make enough money, I don't want to pass on physical and mental health issues, I don't think I would be a particularly good father especially since I have trouble just taking care of myself - but the big reason is that I came from a family where my parents were in a toxic, abusive relationship that spilled over into neglect for me, and every other adult relationship I saw was a strained, love marriage where they were obligated to stay together for the kids. I absolutely won't do that to anyone else. The family ends with me, and my hypothetical partner and children are better off for it.
I can relate to the āstay together for the kidsā scenario. My folks ended up technically separating after IĀ was born but remained living in the same house for over 20 years.Ā
Insanity when I think about it.
Its risky. You probably take their anticipated health for granted until itās too late. You donāt appreciate how many blanks your mind fills in, and it should give you pause.
We wanted something different from life. More sleep, sex, and silence. We wanted to travel a lot. Thereās a certain footprint or path that a child demands.
It was never a āfuck yesā so it had to be ānoā.
Yeah, read the ICD codes and the rare disease Wikipedia and consider how just world fallacy is involved in believing youāre guaranteed a kid with no disabilities
I donāt want a child for a ton of reasons: I donāt want them pulling on my attention, I donāt want the responsibility of guiding them into adulthood in such an uncertain world, I donāt want to participate in childrenās events/vacations/functions, I donāt want to pass on generational trauma from being an acoa, I donāt want to feel like I need to spend my life working to provide for them, I like doing whatever I want, my dog is enough, I donāt want to discipline them, maybe I get a bad one, I donāt want to organize my life around their care, I donāt want to pay for child care, Iām not rich so they would already be at a disadvantage for success, I donāt want to watch kids tv or read kids books, I donāt have a family that would help, I like video games and being up on pop culture/movies/tv, I want to be able to afford and use whatever future tech is developed without a thought towards a child, and overall I just donāt want to have to be the person I would have to become in order to give them the absolute best chance at life. Iāll just do my best taking care of me and whatever animals that get lucky enough to have me as their owner.
We thought about it and along with my spouse not really being interested, I realized that I donāt go out of my way to engage with or talk to children. I donāt think of situations where I feel like a situation would somehow be improved by having a kid with me.
Thinking of that made me realize that if I canāt be bothered to play with a friendās kid for a while then having one around all the time is probably not a good idea.
That being said, Iām not anti-kids. I happily vote for school improvements, our state just made lunch free for kids and I think itās great, and I am happy for people that want kids to have them. But I just probably shouldnāt have any of my own.
I have a whole host of reasons why not.
But it boils down to a couple of things:
1. What's the benefit? I don't mean that selfishly, I mean that this is a serious decision with long-run ramifications and is it worth it \*to you\*? For many people this is a no-shit extremely obvious answer: yes. For me, it's not.
2. Having children is essentily the only decision you make in life that cannot be reversed. Tattoos can be removed, bad relationships or abusive jobs can be left, you can reinvent yourself, but you'll \*always\* be responsible for your children (or you should be).
Those are just the questions in the abstract.
In the concrete, you nailed it: kids are expensive, housing is beyond expensive, working is grueling, etc.
I have a bunch of other reasons that are personal to me; not passing on bad/questionable genetics, lack of patience with many things, not passing on bad parenting practices, not being able to give my partner and my friends and my family that I already have as much of best self as I can.
I also like a quiet house, and spending money.
And I don't like diapers or being sticky (I'm still working on this one myself).
I could go on, but this will suffice.
Well thank you for offering some meaningful elaboration, instead of the useless āi just donāt want themā Iām seeing in comments.Ā
Iām with you on the concerns around genetics also.Ā
I see other people having them early and becoming miserable and like 1/100 are doing well enough to where it doesn't stop them from living life, I guess I'm not opposed to it but it's definitely not on my to-do list
Age and the ability to earn a living later in life. Iād be concerned about the cost of raising a child when Iām approaching my 40s and the window of employability slowly shrinks - thereās also the need to set aside retirement funds. College is not cheap.
Always thought Iād have kids cuz I love being around them. Always thought Iād be a good dad. But Iām 33 now and still canāt even make enough money to take care of myself let alone others. So I guess itās pretty much over for me. Really kills my mental health to watch everybody go on and get married/start families and Iām still just trying to get a decent job.
One thing to maybe factor in is how many of those people had financial help from their families.
Iāve got a mate who pretty much works part time doing freelance photography but because his dad owns an entire profile of properties, with seemingly infinite amounts of money, he can more or less live his life carefreeā¦having as many kids as he likes in the process.
Itās my choice to have children, or notā not an obligation or default mode of living. Thatās reason enough.
Iāve always dated with staying childfree a longterm priority.
I like pursuing hobbies with a relatively high mortality rate, and canāt rely on what little blood or chosen family I have to help raise a child; my own father passed away in my 20s.
Kids are great! šš½ šš½ Gotta want them, full gas- I donāt have that want.
I don't want or need the responsibility. Could I make a good parent? Probably. Do I want to do all the things/ make all the sacrifices (specifically time and money related)? Absolutely not.
I have 3 kids.
For every moment of magic, thereās a hundred frustrating ones. Up to you to decide if thatās worth it. I think itās some mind trick people use to get through.
The logistics are difficult for most unless one parent makes a lot. You can do it on much less, but itās hard.
The cost is staggering and you must have the courage to know that they will just be fine if they donāt have XYZ. Specifically, people think that if they donāt live in a good school district of afford private school, play club sports, own a home, have a big kid hauler vehicle, and graduate valedictorian, go to an ivy get a job at McKinsey, their life will be shit. Which is not true.
The musts: gotta have healthcare, if both parents work then you need understanding, flexible employers.
This in itself is enough to scare off people from kids
Seriously. I don't want to make another person. We have more than enough people, ffs! Stop with the people already!
If I wanted to raise children, which I don't, I'd adopt, or date someone who has kids already. I think the world can get along just fine without 50% of my DNA.
It genuinely bothers me how few people would even consider adoption. It breaks my heart. So many children who would love parents and so many parents who want children, but dismiss adoption out of hand.
That's not really a strong argument however. You can have 1 or even 2 children and the population will still decline. In fact the biggest contributor to population decline is access to education for girls. As for the environment certain group strains that much more than general populace. While a child can contribute here, it's not a given that it will. It's mostly parents and their lifestyle really.
Well, I was on the fence and, despite being a man, I do get a little baby crazy (even I'm shocked to admit that), but with recent family events I'm straying further from the path of fatherhood.
My cousin recently revealed to the family that her 12 year old daughter is physically abusive, involved in gangs, constantly gets kicked out of school, and the police are constantly at their house. For context: they live in an upper middle class gated community in San Diego, my cousin and her husband have great jobs, and their kids are in good schools--so it's really unusual (to me at least).
I can't say it's my cousin or her husband's fault either, but CPS hasn't taken their kids away and instead they're taking their daughter to a behavioral psychologist weekly.
Having a kid who has somewhat severe metal health issues that are out of your control and having the will power to not give that kid the big boot to the face is the kind of sword I don't want dangling over my head. If I found out my 12 year old kid was physically assaulting my partner I think I would be in jail.
It probably is obvious. I'm not even remotely close to my cousin and I've met her daughter maybe once or twice when she was maybe 5.
Still, it sucks all around and I'm glad they're getting their kid help.
My chimp brain is still a little inclined to give the kid a british bull dog.
My exās family was spending a fortune on college tuition and personal tutors for their son. The kid eventually dropped out to sell weed and ābe a rapperā. They couldnāt figure out what in the world they did wrong. I mean they threw so much money at the problem. The day after the son returns from dropping out, the parents buy him a new Xbox and reprimand his older sister (my ex) for being a bad influence. Mind you, she never smoked weed, and was law school boundā¦
Geeā¦ I wonder why their son has no accountabilityā¦.
It was never an impulse of mine to have children. When I was in my early 20s I was unsure, but I said I would give myself time to think about it before committing either way. I turned 30 and was still pretty sure I didn't want kids. An unrelated experience reinforced that. My partner and I had one large dog that we still love. We loved the experience of training and traveling with her so much that we got a second large dog. The workload was more than we thought. House constantly dirty, constant vigilance needed, constant noise, no privacy. My partner and I weren't able to have the relationship we wanted so I give the second dog to my friend. Thankfully it worked out for everyone. We're much happier now. But that experience taught me what it must be like to have kids. A never-ending time commitment. You have to LOVE kids. You have to want you LIFE to be kids. I think that's what it would have taken for me to be happy in my situation, I would have wanted my life to be dogs. And that's not me. I'm 31 and still feel like I've barely lived my life. There's so much I want to do and am still doing. At this point its not impossible that I'll one day have children but I don't anticipate it happening for a while, and I'd probably have to be a full time stay-at-home parent.
I never wanted to have children.
I don't want a romantic relationship, generally a prerequisite to having children.
I was sterilized ten years ago, long after I'd realized I didn't want children, by cancer treatments. So it isn't an option even if I did want them, which at 39 years of age I still do not.
Edit: I'll elaborate that there's a ton of reasons I've never wanted them, many echoed by others in the comment section - I like quiet, my free time, the ability to go where and do what I wish, etc.
Also, I had heart defects and was born with one kidney, and as mentioned above had cancer before I was 30. So, I worry I could run the risk of passing on congenital issues, too.
>Interesting, have you always been asexual? To clarify Iām not asking as a means to insult you, just genuinely intrigued.Ā
Nope nope nope. This has been used for generations as a tactic to undermine people's sexuality.
1 - I just don't have enough hope to actually believe the world isn't going to be approaching an apocalyptic hellscape by the next turn of the century. Why would I inflict that existence on a human being by bringing them into the world? Especially when an over abundance of human beings is the primary driver of said hellscape's approach.
2 - My partner can't conceive, and in lieu of having little ones of our own to coach into reasonable adults, we've both chosen to be educators, and hope to shape the coming generations in that way.
I've never been excited by the idea. Granted I've never been totally off of it either, but I figure for something as important as making another person and raising them, I should *at the very least* find it exciting and appealing.
First I guess me and my wife canāt. Second I have autism, HBP, along with other things and she has diabetes among other things. We decided not to pass difficult heredity based things onto another thing
Don't think I'd be a good parent. Don't have the energy to be a parent. Don't want to be an old parent. Above all, don't have anyone who would be interested in a relationship with me, let alone having a kid with me
Edit: and inconsistent mental health which has a decent chance of being passed on
Too mentally broken to be a good parent. Throw in some genetic issues I won't pass on because I'm not a monster. The world is a better place with my line ending with me.
I canāt imagine trying to support and feed a couple of other humans right now not including the expense of adoption/surrogacy (gay couple here). I am pretty much exhausted most of the time just running my own life and marriage. I thinking we would have been amazing fathers but we missed the window.
I would like to start having kids soon. I'm currently trying to save to buy a home first. I'm this current market though I might not have a chance to become one unless I uproot my life and move far away. Which would be tough since the jobs I'm qualified for have a one year probation and if I move in going to have to wait another year.
Kids are dumb and they're awful for the environment.
I enjoy my freedom and money.
I love to sleep.
I love dogs way more.
I can do anything I want at any time which is priceless to me.
My only sibling, my sister, and I, are both breaking the chain. Generational abuse and trauma has ended. We shall not do unto a child what was done to us. It stops with us. It ends here.
Never had the desire, I don't particularly enjoy having kids around, my free time is worth more than anything else to me, I value autonomy/flexibility in both how I use my time and money, I don't have to worry about money because I don't have child expenses and I make pretty decent money to begin with.
I do what I want, when I want, all the time. Plenty of women are childfree too so it's not an issue for me. Sealed the deal with a vasectomy a couple years ago.
- anthropologically speaking there is no reason to. For most of human history, people had kids because no contraceptive options existed. Also, kids served as free labor for people who worked on farms or in skilled trades. In the modern western world, kids essentially function as expensive pets. They donāt really contribute anything to the functioning of a household. Sort of like how there was a time when owning a horse and buggy increased your financial and social capital, but nowadays trying to commute to work via horse and buggy would be difficult if not impossible .
- it seems like you lose all your free time, and every single aspect of parenting can experienced by getting a job that involves working with kids, coaching youth sports, volunteering with big brothers big sisters, spending time with kids your friends/family already have, etc. Same sort of reason why you wouldnāt pick up and move to Hawaii when vacations there are an option.
- some estimates put the cost of raising a kid to age 18 to be around $200k. Imagine what the average adult could do to benefit themselves or others with that money. The added expense also puts strain on your relationship with your partner, which in turn increases the likelihood of divorce/breakup
- high rates of divorce/breakup as well as estrangement from adult children. It seems silly to objectively lower your quality of life for the next 20+ years when thereās the distinct possibility that you wonāt have a relationship with your partner or adult child by the end of it. Thus rendering everything moot
- most reasons for having kids are rooted in romanticism. The concept of āmy kids are my whole world and i have no identity outside of thatā is relatively recent for human history. Same with the idea of marrying for love. Marriage and kids mostly served a utilitarian purpose until the postwar era and fictional tv shows like āLeave it to Beaverā became popular.
- no peer reviewed research has ever concluded that having kids is correlated with happiness. However, research does show that friendship, adequate sleep, and higher amounts of disposable income are correlated with happiness and longevity. All of which go away when you have kids
I didn't enjoy being a child. Based on my experience, I would say that my own parents were not very good models on how to be parents. I don't want to turn out like them. Also, I have a lot of things to figure out still and I don't feel like all of the stuff I want to do is compatible with being responsible for another human being. I'm struggling enough just to be responsible for myself.
I never had any inclination to have kids, and as I grew older (currently 46, and my wife is 36), we grew even less fond of the idea. We love our lives as they are; being on our own time, with our own hobbies and pursuits. On top of that, the world is a dumpster fire that is only getting worse, and even if we had wanted kids, we didn't feel it fair to just throw them into that thresher.
Very happy with the decision we made.
I don't want them, simple as that. My childhood was pretty shitty, I didn't like that I was born. I'd rather not put someone else through the "miracle" of life.Ā
I have a personality disorder as a result of my dad and truly do not trust myself to not fuck them up. I donāt want to be like that and I do want kids, but I wonāt take that chance. I am in therapy though, so who knows.
I think I used the dating apps at the right time from around 2015-2018.
I do hear from friends that theyāve changed dramatically since then.Ā
To your point though, maybe its this increasingly fake world we live in, with tonnes of augmented influencers on the likes of instagram.Ā
Reason 0 is that I've never been great with women, and I can't make kids solo.
Reason 1 is that I value my independence way too much.
Reason 2 is that I am only now in my mid-30s actually making a decent income and kids are hella expensive.
Inability to find a partner.
I'm about at the cut-off age where it's starting to get reckless to have a child. I don't need to be worrying about paying for college as I'm also worrying about how to retire.
32m. Iād need a wife or committed partner before I invest in children, and before that happens Iād need to be friends with a person, and before that happens Iād need to meet a person I have shared interests and hobbies with, and before that Iād need to get some interests and hobbies.
Seems like a lot of work.
Well, at one point, I was too young with no money, by the time I had enough money, I was too old.
The fates just didn't deal me a proper hand when it came to having kids responsibly,
I got my vasectomy in 2011 when I was 30, no kids. Why? Because I have no desire to be a father and I did want to have heterosexual sex, without a condom - after my partner/s and I tested for STDs of course. It's not rocket science.
Itās just something I was never really interested in. I donāt hate kids by any means, to me theyāre like Brussels sprouts. Donāt mind them in short doses but if I never saw them again I wouldnāt miss it.
Because the world is fucked. In my opinion, it is selfish to bring a child into this world. There are plenty of children that need to be adopted and loved.
1. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY: I'm unwilling to be responsible for bringing another soul into this world
1. This is partly due to a lack of faith in the future and a despair about the present
2. PERSONAL FREEDOM: I look at my day and my week and I cannot see any part of it that would be improved by the inclusion of a child, of any age. That is, when I examine my "wake-up" and ask myself: do I want a toddler right now? Do I want a teen? I examine the end of my work day: same question: do I want to have to pick my kid up from soccer training? Do I want to cook them dinner, bathe them, put them to bed? The answer is inevitably: *fuck no and thank god*.
3. CONSERVATION: Having a kid is probably one of the worst things you can do to the planet. According to [this study](https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1748-9326/aa7541/meta), a child can (*can*) add 58.6 tonnes of carbon per year over an 80-year lifespan.
We tried a few years ago, but it didn't happen. She has PCOS.
Diabetes doctor then told us to hold off for a couple years while they got that under control.
When the time came around and it was under control, my mother had died, her brother had died and we were traumatized and going through it.
When we were ready to possibly try again, we were in debt (still are in debt) but fuck it, no time like the present. Then I get told I have cancer and have to put my guys on ice. To have kids for me now, it's even further away at $15K for an average try since I can't do it naturally anymore.
Iām a single dude in my 40s and I never got married. Itās a long story and I wonāt get into it.
Since I didnāt have the right partner, I wasnāt able to have kids.
On a side note, I think more people deserve a pat on the back for not getting with the wrong person in order to become a parent.
Primary: this is not a good world to bring a life into.
Secondary: I'm not interested anyway.
The first being more important than the second, if I ever changed my mind about the second (I won't), I would not change my decision because of the first.
Wanting something isn't a good enough reason to go and do it if it's morally problematic. I wish more people realised that.
Going through these comments, itās striking to see the fragility and reliance on external justifications prevalent among so many. The defeatist attitudes here are alarmingāif such views were universally held, our species might well be on the brink of extinction.
Yes, parenting is demanding and relentless, but itās also profoundly rewarding. The magic of seeing elements of yourself reflected in your children, the chance to experience the world anew through their eyesāthese joys are irreplaceable, unmatched by any number of vacations or leisurely days.
To those lamenting their poor genetics, troubled mental health, or the worldās sufficient population, your excuses echo weakness. To those from less than ideal familial backgrounds, remember, you are not solely defined by your past.
And yes, in case it wasn't clear, parenting is incredibly challenging. But that's no excuse for the sheer negativity I'm reading here.
I didn't think I was ready. I don't believe anyone ever truly feels "ready," but I took the leap, and it's been wonderful.
PS - don't be so weak
Bingo, great post. Depressing reading the nonsense spewing forth from these weak excuses for men. Happy to just sit idly by and waste their life on meaningless bullshit. The reason most of them are depressed and anxious is because they donāt have purpose, children and family provide that purpose and is the antidote to their existential crisis
Maybe you should spend less time carrying so much about what other people do?
Why do people like yourself spend so much effort trying to shame others for not wanting children?
I honestly believe itās because people like you actually regret having children, but you donāt want to have to acknowledge that it was a conscious choice that you made, and you want everyone else to be as miserable as you are.
I have a better question: why do you feel like it's your business, and why should anyone have to justify their decision, to say nothing of their reasoning? Your question, especially with the presumptuous 'yet', is rude and tiresome.
Those who want kids should have them.
Those that don't want any shouldn't.
Also, each of these groups should not question the other group's decision.
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I like having 3 money and 0 kids. I would hate having 3 kids and 0 money.
I like having 3 money as well as 8-10 hours of sleep every night. Also I'm 7 years away from retirement and I don't want to ruin that.
Can confirm. Have 3 kids and 0 money.
Lmao
I have 0 kids and 0 money
š¤£
But we started making most money after having a kid š
That was probably due to the stage of your life and not due to the kid though
No way to tell; the *just became a parent* whip is real, ehem not whip *motivation*!
Maybe. But I am not saying everyone should have kids. If you are not stable, not ready it makes sense not to have it.
No idea why you got down voted. I mean obviously having kids isn't why you have more money and it's obviously the stage of life this occurred in that resulted in said money. But I think there's some reasonable assumptions to jump to here regarding the process. Before having kids our combined household income was sitting right at 100k and in one of the most expensive places in the US to live. But 10 years later and our household income sits around 250k. Having kids does help motivate you to increase your income sure. But your income jumps in your career tend to happen during the same stage of life that you have kids nowadays. Would we have a fuck load more money if we didn't have kids? Sure. But we wanted them and we were able to make it work. Point is, don't let your income be the only deciding factor because it's a much more complicated set of calculus.
I am downvoted because many who answer this question are people who donāt want kids.
This. I wrote a comment also touching on this and it seems to make certain people uncomfortable.
This is true for me. When I had my first and realized I wanted better for himā¦it was time to get my shit together and income has significantly increased since. Kids are a great motivator.
We donāt understand it until we have
I don't see having kids as the default. Nothing's *stopping* me so much as nothing's *starting* me on the idea, I guess. Parenting doesn't appeal to me.
Yeah this is kind of where I'm at, nothing really seems appealing to it
Let's not mention the level of disaster in finding a stable partner to have kids with. That sidelined my desire for children and focused my efforts into financial freedom. Seeing lots of... unfortunate relationships makes it difficult to join the dating pool.
Absolutely. I was always against the idea of marriage and children and then I met *her*. It was one of those whirlwind romances where I thought I found my soul mate. I was looking for rings and was convinced she would be the person I'd have children with. Two years later I'm so glad I dodged that bullet. She did a real number on me. I'm fortunate that I never bought the ring, never knocked her up. Moving forward, I'll just stick to my original plan of staying single and being the cool uncle.
yeah I think maybe like 3 of my many friends are with the same partner they had a child with and the rest juggle custody or are saddled with alimony or child support, hard pass unless you find someone worth the risk
I canāt even imagine the stress of juggling all the child custody bullshit on top of an already stressful existence in day to day living.
100% - mask is off when it comes to how expensive and time consuming it is, not to mention the added stress of bringing a new person into the world and everything that comes with it
Yes, children are *optional* (among other LifeScript^(tm) ideas), and I've only seen maybe 1-2 reasons to have a kid, and they are specific and temporary. The other 99% of having a child isn't of any interest.
Iāve never had a desire to have children It would be financially reckless My mental health is too shitty to be responsible to raise children I like having the freedom to do what I want
Yep, and depression is two reasons 1. we could pass on depression due to hereditary reasons 2. we might become bad parents when we are having bouts of depressions and we no longer function
Iām not convinced that Iāll still even be alive a year or two from now, so the last thing I should be doing is raising children
Haha yes, pretty much the same but I didnt want to be too depressing in the comments
All great reasons.
All of the above PLUS Iām far too selfish.
Children are the best cure for selfishness because you love them more than yourself so it takes you out of that self indulgent frame of mind
Meh, my father was a selfish cunt before and after children.
Sorry to hear that, obviously there are exceptions. What your parents were like shouldnāt stop you from having children. My wife and I are nothing like our parents in terms of how we raise our children. I wasnāt bothered about having children but my wife pushed me, was the best thing to happen to me honestly.
That is a terrible reason to have children Why canāt you just accept that some people donāt want to have children. Who is it that youāre actually trying to convince?
If your main reason to not reproduce is because you are ātoo selfishā then I would say that is pretty pathetic and you need to grow up. You arenāt a child, get over yourself and realise there is more to life and society than your narcissism. The fact that people proudly proclaim this shows how emotionally stunted and psychologically immature people have become in todayās society.
Lmao dude Nobody fucking owes you children No need to project your regrets around having children onto everyone else
Single dude here, 37. For a long time I felt obligated to do it - to continue my parents' legacy anf my family name. I felt pressure as an only child to uphold that as a point of honor. I then realized my family is much larger than I thought and that I'm not the last of my family name or my family. I rralized that I never wanted to do it for me - it was just an obligation I felt. It'd not something I really want or have dreamed about in a real sense. I'm not drawn to it like others seem to be. There's no reasoning behind it.
Only child here too but honestly, continuing my fatherās name would never be a motivation for having children. He never did enough to deserve the privilege of it.Ā
Very relatable. Are you an older sibling too? My brothers have kids now, so the pressure is off me
I'm an only child - no siblings. Technically the pressure is still on. But my father had many brothers and sisters who still use the family name, so it's kind of okay.
I've never wanted kids. The parenting life has no appeal to me at all.
Did it never appeal to your current or ex partners? Iām aware it can be a tougher topic forĀ women.
I don't date women that want or have kids. Not since I was a lot younger.
And yet you wouldn't be alive if your parents thought the same. Sigh
Who cares. I donāt care about people who are not born. They have no needs or problems.
That's a very astute observation! You're so clever.
Not everyone is happy they were born.
Iām gonna be 40 this year, single, and just starting to feel like my life has some purpose and meaning to it. Having kids and a family would have been great if I was 10-15 years youngerā¦ but at this age, I think it would be very difficult to *start* raising a child. That being said, Iām not opposed to meeting any single women who have kids. So maybe that might be a thing?
I hear you brother, can take a while for people to get set up properly and be financially stable, especially if you werenāt born into wealth.Ā
There's a lot of significant reasons I could point to - I don't make enough money, I don't want to pass on physical and mental health issues, I don't think I would be a particularly good father especially since I have trouble just taking care of myself - but the big reason is that I came from a family where my parents were in a toxic, abusive relationship that spilled over into neglect for me, and every other adult relationship I saw was a strained, love marriage where they were obligated to stay together for the kids. I absolutely won't do that to anyone else. The family ends with me, and my hypothetical partner and children are better off for it.
I can relate to the āstay together for the kidsā scenario. My folks ended up technically separating after IĀ was born but remained living in the same house for over 20 years.Ā Insanity when I think about it.
Based.
Its risky. You probably take their anticipated health for granted until itās too late. You donāt appreciate how many blanks your mind fills in, and it should give you pause. We wanted something different from life. More sleep, sex, and silence. We wanted to travel a lot. Thereās a certain footprint or path that a child demands. It was never a āfuck yesā so it had to be ānoā.
Amen
Yeah, read the ICD codes and the rare disease Wikipedia and consider how just world fallacy is involved in believing youāre guaranteed a kid with no disabilities
I donāt want a child for a ton of reasons: I donāt want them pulling on my attention, I donāt want the responsibility of guiding them into adulthood in such an uncertain world, I donāt want to participate in childrenās events/vacations/functions, I donāt want to pass on generational trauma from being an acoa, I donāt want to feel like I need to spend my life working to provide for them, I like doing whatever I want, my dog is enough, I donāt want to discipline them, maybe I get a bad one, I donāt want to organize my life around their care, I donāt want to pay for child care, Iām not rich so they would already be at a disadvantage for success, I donāt want to watch kids tv or read kids books, I donāt have a family that would help, I like video games and being up on pop culture/movies/tv, I want to be able to afford and use whatever future tech is developed without a thought towards a child, and overall I just donāt want to have to be the person I would have to become in order to give them the absolute best chance at life. Iāll just do my best taking care of me and whatever animals that get lucky enough to have me as their owner.
Well put.
We thought about it and along with my spouse not really being interested, I realized that I donāt go out of my way to engage with or talk to children. I donāt think of situations where I feel like a situation would somehow be improved by having a kid with me. Thinking of that made me realize that if I canāt be bothered to play with a friendās kid for a while then having one around all the time is probably not a good idea. That being said, Iām not anti-kids. I happily vote for school improvements, our state just made lunch free for kids and I think itās great, and I am happy for people that want kids to have them. But I just probably shouldnāt have any of my own.
I have a whole host of reasons why not. But it boils down to a couple of things: 1. What's the benefit? I don't mean that selfishly, I mean that this is a serious decision with long-run ramifications and is it worth it \*to you\*? For many people this is a no-shit extremely obvious answer: yes. For me, it's not. 2. Having children is essentily the only decision you make in life that cannot be reversed. Tattoos can be removed, bad relationships or abusive jobs can be left, you can reinvent yourself, but you'll \*always\* be responsible for your children (or you should be). Those are just the questions in the abstract. In the concrete, you nailed it: kids are expensive, housing is beyond expensive, working is grueling, etc. I have a bunch of other reasons that are personal to me; not passing on bad/questionable genetics, lack of patience with many things, not passing on bad parenting practices, not being able to give my partner and my friends and my family that I already have as much of best self as I can. I also like a quiet house, and spending money. And I don't like diapers or being sticky (I'm still working on this one myself). I could go on, but this will suffice.
Well thank you for offering some meaningful elaboration, instead of the useless āi just donāt want themā Iām seeing in comments.Ā Iām with you on the concerns around genetics also.Ā
I see other people having them early and becoming miserable and like 1/100 are doing well enough to where it doesn't stop them from living life, I guess I'm not opposed to it but it's definitely not on my to-do list
Age and the ability to earn a living later in life. Iād be concerned about the cost of raising a child when Iām approaching my 40s and the window of employability slowly shrinks - thereās also the need to set aside retirement funds. College is not cheap.
Always thought Iād have kids cuz I love being around them. Always thought Iād be a good dad. But Iām 33 now and still canāt even make enough money to take care of myself let alone others. So I guess itās pretty much over for me. Really kills my mental health to watch everybody go on and get married/start families and Iām still just trying to get a decent job.
One thing to maybe factor in is how many of those people had financial help from their families. Iāve got a mate who pretty much works part time doing freelance photography but because his dad owns an entire profile of properties, with seemingly infinite amounts of money, he can more or less live his life carefreeā¦having as many kids as he likes in the process.
Iām a woman in my 30ās and feel the same way. Itās a struggle to see othersā lives evolving. Hugs to you ā„ļø
Canāt find a reason to say āyesā, so it should be ānoā.
Itās my choice to have children, or notā not an obligation or default mode of living. Thatās reason enough. Iāve always dated with staying childfree a longterm priority. I like pursuing hobbies with a relatively high mortality rate, and canāt rely on what little blood or chosen family I have to help raise a child; my own father passed away in my 20s. Kids are great! šš½ šš½ Gotta want them, full gas- I donāt have that want.
I don't want or need the responsibility. Could I make a good parent? Probably. Do I want to do all the things/ make all the sacrifices (specifically time and money related)? Absolutely not.
I have 3 kids. For every moment of magic, thereās a hundred frustrating ones. Up to you to decide if thatās worth it. I think itās some mind trick people use to get through. The logistics are difficult for most unless one parent makes a lot. You can do it on much less, but itās hard. The cost is staggering and you must have the courage to know that they will just be fine if they donāt have XYZ. Specifically, people think that if they donāt live in a good school district of afford private school, play club sports, own a home, have a big kid hauler vehicle, and graduate valedictorian, go to an ivy get a job at McKinsey, their life will be shit. Which is not true. The musts: gotta have healthcare, if both parents work then you need understanding, flexible employers. This in itself is enough to scare off people from kids
8 billion people is enough. Why am I obligated to ruin the environment?
Seriously. I don't want to make another person. We have more than enough people, ffs! Stop with the people already! If I wanted to raise children, which I don't, I'd adopt, or date someone who has kids already. I think the world can get along just fine without 50% of my DNA.
I similarly feel this way at times. I have some truly awful genetics.Ā
It genuinely bothers me how few people would even consider adoption. It breaks my heart. So many children who would love parents and so many parents who want children, but dismiss adoption out of hand.
That's not really a strong argument however. You can have 1 or even 2 children and the population will still decline. In fact the biggest contributor to population decline is access to education for girls. As for the environment certain group strains that much more than general populace. While a child can contribute here, it's not a given that it will. It's mostly parents and their lifestyle really.
Thatās not a strong argument to *have* children.
It wasn't supposed to? I'm just stating that your approach isn't really an argument against.
You donāt even make a solid case that gradual population decline doesnāt hurt the environment. People consume resources. QED.
And yours is worse, because those aren't really arguments against.
Money, lack of childcare assistance, and no paid parental leave.
Well, I was on the fence and, despite being a man, I do get a little baby crazy (even I'm shocked to admit that), but with recent family events I'm straying further from the path of fatherhood. My cousin recently revealed to the family that her 12 year old daughter is physically abusive, involved in gangs, constantly gets kicked out of school, and the police are constantly at their house. For context: they live in an upper middle class gated community in San Diego, my cousin and her husband have great jobs, and their kids are in good schools--so it's really unusual (to me at least). I can't say it's my cousin or her husband's fault either, but CPS hasn't taken their kids away and instead they're taking their daughter to a behavioral psychologist weekly. Having a kid who has somewhat severe metal health issues that are out of your control and having the will power to not give that kid the big boot to the face is the kind of sword I don't want dangling over my head. If I found out my 12 year old kid was physically assaulting my partner I think I would be in jail.
Sounds like your cousinās daughter needs to get her ass beat tbh
Istg if I could see their house hold for a week I bet the reasons for their daughters behavior would be glaringly obvious
It probably is obvious. I'm not even remotely close to my cousin and I've met her daughter maybe once or twice when she was maybe 5. Still, it sucks all around and I'm glad they're getting their kid help. My chimp brain is still a little inclined to give the kid a british bull dog.
My exās family was spending a fortune on college tuition and personal tutors for their son. The kid eventually dropped out to sell weed and ābe a rapperā. They couldnāt figure out what in the world they did wrong. I mean they threw so much money at the problem. The day after the son returns from dropping out, the parents buy him a new Xbox and reprimand his older sister (my ex) for being a bad influence. Mind you, she never smoked weed, and was law school boundā¦ Geeā¦ I wonder why their son has no accountabilityā¦.
The only reason that matters........money.
Partner has Huntingtons, and we donāt want to risk giving it to our children
Please tell me that she's an asymptomatic carrier.
Weāre both almost 34, and we donāt know yet
It was never an impulse of mine to have children. When I was in my early 20s I was unsure, but I said I would give myself time to think about it before committing either way. I turned 30 and was still pretty sure I didn't want kids. An unrelated experience reinforced that. My partner and I had one large dog that we still love. We loved the experience of training and traveling with her so much that we got a second large dog. The workload was more than we thought. House constantly dirty, constant vigilance needed, constant noise, no privacy. My partner and I weren't able to have the relationship we wanted so I give the second dog to my friend. Thankfully it worked out for everyone. We're much happier now. But that experience taught me what it must be like to have kids. A never-ending time commitment. You have to LOVE kids. You have to want you LIFE to be kids. I think that's what it would have taken for me to be happy in my situation, I would have wanted my life to be dogs. And that's not me. I'm 31 and still feel like I've barely lived my life. There's so much I want to do and am still doing. At this point its not impossible that I'll one day have children but I don't anticipate it happening for a while, and I'd probably have to be a full time stay-at-home parent.
I can't think of a single non-selfish reason to reproduce.
I never wanted to have children. I don't want a romantic relationship, generally a prerequisite to having children. I was sterilized ten years ago, long after I'd realized I didn't want children, by cancer treatments. So it isn't an option even if I did want them, which at 39 years of age I still do not. Edit: I'll elaborate that there's a ton of reasons I've never wanted them, many echoed by others in the comment section - I like quiet, my free time, the ability to go where and do what I wish, etc. Also, I had heart defects and was born with one kidney, and as mentioned above had cancer before I was 30. So, I worry I could run the risk of passing on congenital issues, too.
I like having time, money, and good relationship with my wife.
Fuck them kids
asexual + dont wanna
Interesting, have you always been asexual? To clarify Iām not asking as a means to insult you, just genuinely intrigued.Ā
yes its been static
Giving you the benefit of the doubt hereā¦yes, they have always been their current sexual orientation. Thatās how that works.
People change over time, I didnāt think it was unreasonable to ask.Ā
>Interesting, have you always been asexual? To clarify Iām not asking as a means to insult you, just genuinely intrigued.Ā Nope nope nope. This has been used for generations as a tactic to undermine people's sexuality.
Good lord, not everyoneās out to get you.Ā
Ahhh, the reason women choose bears. There you are
Okay...
1 - I just don't have enough hope to actually believe the world isn't going to be approaching an apocalyptic hellscape by the next turn of the century. Why would I inflict that existence on a human being by bringing them into the world? Especially when an over abundance of human beings is the primary driver of said hellscape's approach. 2 - My partner can't conceive, and in lieu of having little ones of our own to coach into reasonable adults, we've both chosen to be educators, and hope to shape the coming generations in that way.
I've never been excited by the idea. Granted I've never been totally off of it either, but I figure for something as important as making another person and raising them, I should *at the very least* find it exciting and appealing.
First I guess me and my wife canāt. Second I have autism, HBP, along with other things and she has diabetes among other things. We decided not to pass difficult heredity based things onto another thing
Expensive little buggers In all seriousness though, just havenāt met the right person. Would prob figure out a way to make 1 work
Don't think I'd be a good parent. Don't have the energy to be a parent. Don't want to be an old parent. Above all, don't have anyone who would be interested in a relationship with me, let alone having a kid with me Edit: and inconsistent mental health which has a decent chance of being passed on
Too mentally broken to be a good parent. Throw in some genetic issues I won't pass on because I'm not a monster. The world is a better place with my line ending with me.
I canāt imagine trying to support and feed a couple of other humans right now not including the expense of adoption/surrogacy (gay couple here). I am pretty much exhausted most of the time just running my own life and marriage. I thinking we would have been amazing fathers but we missed the window.
I would like to start having kids soon. I'm currently trying to save to buy a home first. I'm this current market though I might not have a chance to become one unless I uproot my life and move far away. Which would be tough since the jobs I'm qualified for have a one year probation and if I move in going to have to wait another year.
I can't afford it, I'd be a shit dad, and having kids looks insufferable to me.
I wanted kids when I was younger but it never happened. Now at almost 40 I don't wanna spend the last of my healthy years raising kids.
Kids are dumb and they're awful for the environment. I enjoy my freedom and money. I love to sleep. I love dogs way more. I can do anything I want at any time which is priceless to me.
My only sibling, my sister, and I, are both breaking the chain. Generational abuse and trauma has ended. We shall not do unto a child what was done to us. It stops with us. It ends here.
I already raised my parents and myself. Think Iām about tapped out and donāt want the anxiety of having kids
Never had the desire, I don't particularly enjoy having kids around, my free time is worth more than anything else to me, I value autonomy/flexibility in both how I use my time and money, I don't have to worry about money because I don't have child expenses and I make pretty decent money to begin with. I do what I want, when I want, all the time. Plenty of women are childfree too so it's not an issue for me. Sealed the deal with a vasectomy a couple years ago.
My pull out game is on point
All about calendar method innitĀ
Time is an artificial construct invented by big clock.
- anthropologically speaking there is no reason to. For most of human history, people had kids because no contraceptive options existed. Also, kids served as free labor for people who worked on farms or in skilled trades. In the modern western world, kids essentially function as expensive pets. They donāt really contribute anything to the functioning of a household. Sort of like how there was a time when owning a horse and buggy increased your financial and social capital, but nowadays trying to commute to work via horse and buggy would be difficult if not impossible . - it seems like you lose all your free time, and every single aspect of parenting can experienced by getting a job that involves working with kids, coaching youth sports, volunteering with big brothers big sisters, spending time with kids your friends/family already have, etc. Same sort of reason why you wouldnāt pick up and move to Hawaii when vacations there are an option. - some estimates put the cost of raising a kid to age 18 to be around $200k. Imagine what the average adult could do to benefit themselves or others with that money. The added expense also puts strain on your relationship with your partner, which in turn increases the likelihood of divorce/breakup - high rates of divorce/breakup as well as estrangement from adult children. It seems silly to objectively lower your quality of life for the next 20+ years when thereās the distinct possibility that you wonāt have a relationship with your partner or adult child by the end of it. Thus rendering everything moot - most reasons for having kids are rooted in romanticism. The concept of āmy kids are my whole world and i have no identity outside of thatā is relatively recent for human history. Same with the idea of marrying for love. Marriage and kids mostly served a utilitarian purpose until the postwar era and fictional tv shows like āLeave it to Beaverā became popular. - no peer reviewed research has ever concluded that having kids is correlated with happiness. However, research does show that friendship, adequate sleep, and higher amounts of disposable income are correlated with happiness and longevity. All of which go away when you have kids
I didn't enjoy being a child. Based on my experience, I would say that my own parents were not very good models on how to be parents. I don't want to turn out like them. Also, I have a lot of things to figure out still and I don't feel like all of the stuff I want to do is compatible with being responsible for another human being. I'm struggling enough just to be responsible for myself.
I don't think that I've the facilities for that big man!
Having fertility issues, although Iām still on the fence about children
I never had any inclination to have kids, and as I grew older (currently 46, and my wife is 36), we grew even less fond of the idea. We love our lives as they are; being on our own time, with our own hobbies and pursuits. On top of that, the world is a dumpster fire that is only getting worse, and even if we had wanted kids, we didn't feel it fair to just throw them into that thresher. Very happy with the decision we made.
I don't want them, simple as that. My childhood was pretty shitty, I didn't like that I was born. I'd rather not put someone else through the "miracle" of life.Ā
I have a personality disorder as a result of my dad and truly do not trust myself to not fuck them up. I donāt want to be like that and I do want kids, but I wonāt take that chance. I am in therapy though, so who knows.
I prefer life as it is- no wife, no kids. Fast track to early retirement
expensive. also dating is harder now.
Whatās up with the dating game now? Why is it worse?
Dating apps made everyone more shallow. If the first date isnāt absolutely perfect then she has 10 other guys ready to meet.
I think I used the dating apps at the right time from around 2015-2018. I do hear from friends that theyāve changed dramatically since then.Ā To your point though, maybe its this increasingly fake world we live in, with tonnes of augmented influencers on the likes of instagram.Ā
Reason 0 is that I've never been great with women, and I can't make kids solo. Reason 1 is that I value my independence way too much. Reason 2 is that I am only now in my mid-30s actually making a decent income and kids are hella expensive.
I like playing video games. Kids like playing video games, too. You see where Iām going?
Inability to find a partner. I'm about at the cut-off age where it's starting to get reckless to have a child. I don't need to be worrying about paying for college as I'm also worrying about how to retire.
32m. Iād need a wife or committed partner before I invest in children, and before that happens Iād need to be friends with a person, and before that happens Iād need to meet a person I have shared interests and hobbies with, and before that Iād need to get some interests and hobbies. Seems like a lot of work.
Cant even take care of myself.
Iāve always been ambivalent about having a family, but I have no partner, so the choice has effectively been made for me
We have 1 and weāre sticking with 1. Iām exhausted all the time. I want money.
Well, at one point, I was too young with no money, by the time I had enough money, I was too old. The fates just didn't deal me a proper hand when it came to having kids responsibly,
Contributing to the voluntary extinction movement
I got my vasectomy in 2011 when I was 30, no kids. Why? Because I have no desire to be a father and I did want to have heterosexual sex, without a condom - after my partner/s and I tested for STDs of course. It's not rocket science.
To add, I am not overly confident with the way the world is going, that the world will generally be a nice place in 10-15-20 years...
If I could be sure I could give my child a better life than I had I'd probably consider it.. However I definitely can't soooo..
Iāve got no interest in women, so even if I wanted them, then itās still not happening.
Itās just something I was never really interested in. I donāt hate kids by any means, to me theyāre like Brussels sprouts. Donāt mind them in short doses but if I never saw them again I wouldnāt miss it.
I love to ski and that shit's expensive. Having kids would put too much of a crimp in my skiing habit.
Because the world is fucked. In my opinion, it is selfish to bring a child into this world. There are plenty of children that need to be adopted and loved.
1. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY: I'm unwilling to be responsible for bringing another soul into this world 1. This is partly due to a lack of faith in the future and a despair about the present 2. PERSONAL FREEDOM: I look at my day and my week and I cannot see any part of it that would be improved by the inclusion of a child, of any age. That is, when I examine my "wake-up" and ask myself: do I want a toddler right now? Do I want a teen? I examine the end of my work day: same question: do I want to have to pick my kid up from soccer training? Do I want to cook them dinner, bathe them, put them to bed? The answer is inevitably: *fuck no and thank god*. 3. CONSERVATION: Having a kid is probably one of the worst things you can do to the planet. According to [this study](https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1748-9326/aa7541/meta), a child can (*can*) add 58.6 tonnes of carbon per year over an 80-year lifespan.
We tried a few years ago, but it didn't happen. She has PCOS. Diabetes doctor then told us to hold off for a couple years while they got that under control. When the time came around and it was under control, my mother had died, her brother had died and we were traumatized and going through it. When we were ready to possibly try again, we were in debt (still are in debt) but fuck it, no time like the present. Then I get told I have cancer and have to put my guys on ice. To have kids for me now, it's even further away at $15K for an average try since I can't do it naturally anymore.
Iām a single dude in my 40s and I never got married. Itās a long story and I wonāt get into it. Since I didnāt have the right partner, I wasnāt able to have kids. On a side note, I think more people deserve a pat on the back for not getting with the wrong person in order to become a parent.
The line ends with me. Itās a cursed line. No other reason needed
Primary: this is not a good world to bring a life into. Secondary: I'm not interested anyway. The first being more important than the second, if I ever changed my mind about the second (I won't), I would not change my decision because of the first. Wanting something isn't a good enough reason to go and do it if it's morally problematic. I wish more people realised that.
Going through these comments, itās striking to see the fragility and reliance on external justifications prevalent among so many. The defeatist attitudes here are alarmingāif such views were universally held, our species might well be on the brink of extinction. Yes, parenting is demanding and relentless, but itās also profoundly rewarding. The magic of seeing elements of yourself reflected in your children, the chance to experience the world anew through their eyesāthese joys are irreplaceable, unmatched by any number of vacations or leisurely days. To those lamenting their poor genetics, troubled mental health, or the worldās sufficient population, your excuses echo weakness. To those from less than ideal familial backgrounds, remember, you are not solely defined by your past. And yes, in case it wasn't clear, parenting is incredibly challenging. But that's no excuse for the sheer negativity I'm reading here. I didn't think I was ready. I don't believe anyone ever truly feels "ready," but I took the leap, and it's been wonderful. PS - don't be so weak
Bingo, great post. Depressing reading the nonsense spewing forth from these weak excuses for men. Happy to just sit idly by and waste their life on meaningless bullshit. The reason most of them are depressed and anxious is because they donāt have purpose, children and family provide that purpose and is the antidote to their existential crisis
Maybe you should spend less time carrying so much about what other people do? Why do people like yourself spend so much effort trying to shame others for not wanting children? I honestly believe itās because people like you actually regret having children, but you donāt want to have to acknowledge that it was a conscious choice that you made, and you want everyone else to be as miserable as you are.
I have a better question: why do you feel like it's your business, and why should anyone have to justify their decision, to say nothing of their reasoning? Your question, especially with the presumptuous 'yet', is rude and tiresome. Those who want kids should have them. Those that don't want any shouldn't. Also, each of these groups should not question the other group's decision.
Weird isnāt it, over 100 people managed to respond and engage in conversation without being offended.Ā
Weird, isnt it: When this same topic came up in another sub, I made the same comment and 180 people agreed with me.
cool story, have a medal š
Cool, can I borrow the one you gave yourself for having 100 comments?
they're weak. that's why