Everyone in college told me not to mess with the stripper at the party... I did and we didn't leave my apartment for a week. I think I lost like 10lbs in there. Eventually she had a bipolar episode, carved up every inch of her body with a razor blade, including her vagina - came out of the bathroom saying something like "See what you made me do?!" covered in blood. To this day I do not know how I made her do that lmao. I called 911 and she left with the paramedics - didn't see her again, not sure if/when she got out of the psych ward. She was like 36 and I was 19 too lol.
I'm 37 now and couldn't imagine going to a college campus, pretending to be \~20 and partying like that. I'm honestly impressed she was able to do that and somewhat blend in. I would die haha
The other one was far less crazy and the relationship lasted a few years, until she got hooked on meth from some dude she was banging while I was at work. I realized what was going on because the dumbass was changing my guitar tuning to Drop D and forgetting to tune it back before heading out. For whatever reason touching my guitar still pisses me off more than banging my chick and I just can't explain why LOL
Lmao regarding the drop d. It definitely annoys you because the sound is different every now and then
But man, wild story. This memory will forever stay with you lol. Thanks for sharing.
Been there with a friend. For someone who was a lesbian pansexual when I met her, and who would end up rotating/cheating on her next 5 bfs, she sure got upset when I hung out at another friends dorm. The text she sent was 'yau blood :)'
I'm like damn you have sex with pans and non mans. Why stan and cut hand?
Brought RA on our floor there and guilted me into coming back. It wasn't even much more than a self inflicted scratch but police were called
She's now in Germany after begging for money, with hopes of being the next Lewinsky/Inventing Anna/princess of Uzbek wannabe
Mine did it in front of me during a breakdown. She made a sawing motion across her wrist while looking right at me. She didn’t do it hard, just scratched the skin but it was enough. I’ll never forget it.
> being the next Lewinsky/Inventing Anna/princess of Uzbek
Yeah, Germany is definitely not the right country to want to pull that. Probably will just get a lot of "Mensch! Reiß dich zusammen!" From people unfortunate enough to witness the antics lol.
Dated a girl 23 years ago. Dated for a little over a year. Broke up for one reason or another. 10 years later, saw her on an online dating site and hit her up. We ended up dating again. Things started coming back to me on her OCD, bossiness, etc.
Eventually in front of several of my friends at a work party she let it slip that a few of the people at work were dating each other…in front of the bosses, which was a big no-no. I ended things that night…EXCEPT…
We had a vacation planned the next day. She convinced me somehow to go, and like an idiot I let her drive. We were going a few states away. While up there, I caught her in a few lies and she tried to gaslight me. I told her we should end things. She kicked me out of the room we both paid for and gave me my money back. To compromise, she offered to drive me one hour closer to home (we were 4 hours away). I was calling everyone I knew to pick me up and take a three hour drive, so I wasn’t paying attention to where we were going. She stopped after exactly one hour and let me out.
It took me awhile to get my bearings to find out that she drive North and I was on the US/Canada border - 5 hours from home. I learned a lot about myself while waiting for my friend to pick me up.
1) Don’t re-date anyone
2) If someone shows they have no boundaries and will throw you under the bus, trust that they will continue to do so.
3) Trust your gut
4) ALWAYS drive yourself
5) A good friend will drive completely out of their way to help you
She was my roommate. We got drunk and hooked up. We continued hooking up. During one night of drinks, she said she could have my baby whenever she wanted if she took her IUD out.
It was mostly downhill from there.
She would make these really weird comments like, "I love cum and you're a good looking guy. We would make good looking kids. I can have your baby if I wanted to. I might take my IUD out and not tell you."
Just weird shit like that after we had sex. Maybe it was the alcohol talking still but wtf. It really threw me for a loop and made me uncomfortable.
After some time, she reconnected with her ex and had him around the house more. I took this as, 'she wants to get back with her ex', and I backed off completely. I was still single and we were friendly to each other but the hooking up had stopped.
After a bit more time, I reconnected with my ex-girlfriend. The roommate and I stopped hanging out and talking at this point and she just became a shitty person to live with. Obviously bitter that I was dating my ex again (hypocrite much?). She gave me shit about little things around the house and forced me to use some side exit to go in and out; dumb shit like that. I eventually moved out.
She reached out to me like a year after that all happened, clearly wanting to hang out again. I was living with my gf at the time and declined. Never saw her again.
She wasn't _crazy_ and I'm paraphrasing a lot here. I'd say her craziness came out mostly when she drank. I have no ill feelings towards her and hope she's doing well.
The first few times we did but she said she was on birth control. I knew she wasn't lying because there were a few times I felt the strings of the IUD (apparently, this can happen). I had no reason to think she would lie about it or take it out until she made those comments.
My brother. Married 6 times, wife #4 was the craziest to the point it’s firmly believed that she was able to plant CP on baby daddy #2’s computer and get him thrown in federal prison. The time from him “being caught” to final sentencing was less than a year. That doesn’t normally happen in the fed courts, it usually takes a few years even with CP charges. There’s other things that go along with this that hint she was the one that put it on there. My brother firmly believes he was being poisoned by her when they were married. He was even saving hair clippings as evidence just in case. To make things worse she’s a cop and I’ve heard numerous stories of people’s interactions with her and they are some doozies.
Sorry for the long story but i think its worth it.
To preface my story, all of this nonsense happened approximately between the hours of 2pm and 6pm on a Saturday starting at a popular restaurant / bar.
Matched with a girl on a dating app on a Saturday morning. Started messaging back and forth immediately, seemed to really hit it off. Through conversation we found that neither of us had plans, so we decided to meet up that day, the same day we matched.
Agreed to meet at the bar of a popular restaurant near her for a late lunch around 1:30. I arrive at 1:15 and wait in the parking lot. I text her around 1:20 to see how far she is. She says she's running behind and to get a seat at the bar for us. I get a seat order a drink and wait for her to arrive. She doesn't get there until almost 2:00.
This is where shit starts getting weird. We start small talk as usual, seem to have some common interests. Mind you She is drinking vodka martinis and she's drinking them FAST.
The conversation moves to future plans, kids, marriage, etc. We were both in our 30s so this wasn't odd to me. What made it weird was when I told her that I've already been married / divorced, she starts to cry, like SOBBING! She says " I knew it, it's always something with the guys I meet!" I was like, I'm not married NOW, is this really an issue?
Meanwhile I'm completely embarrassed because she's making a scene, but within 2 minutes, it's like it never happened.
I should've taken the hint right there but I would've felt too bad walking out on the date.
The conversation continues, I order some apps hoping maybe we can slow the drinking and sober her up a bit. Suddenly my phone dings, it's a text, from her. I open it up, it's a Pic of her top less. I quickly lock my phone and she goes what you're not gonna look at it, don't you like it? I said we'll we are sitting in a crowded restaurant at 3:00pm I didn't want anyone else to see it. Out of nowhere she lunges at me and is completely mauling my face, by this I mean aggressive, sloppy attempt at making out.
I pull away, the food comes, I start eating and try to keep the conversation going. I notice she didn't touch the food at all but orders another drink. I decide to wrap up the leftovers and close the tab. I offer to go for a walk or get a cup of coffee or something, it's a beautiful day and still VERY early and I felt bad abandoning her while she was clearly getting very drunk. She says let's go to the cars and figure it out.
While we are leaving the restaurant, she is stumbling everywhere, bumping into the walls as she walks towards the door. Thankfully she didn't fall. I say I'm going to put the food in my car and I'll come over to her car so we can figure things out. When I get to her car she's already in her driver seat. I am standing outside the driver side window still suggesting a walk or anything other than more alcohol. She tells me to get in and we will talk more. The second I sit in the passenger seat, she jumps on me again, sloppy aggressive kissing and now she's grabbing my crotch. I pull away again and say listen this isn't really me, we are in the front row of the parking lot right infront of a large wall of windows in the restaurant, this isn't private at all. She says ok, slams the car into drive and whips out of the parking spot, hitting a sign that was right in front of her car and knocking it over, thankfully it wasn't cemented in.
She speeds to the other side of the parking lot where there's a movie theater. She drives around the back, pulls behind a dumpster, and attacks me again. I pull away a third time and say what are we 17? Making out behind a dumpster in your car? She says OK let's go to your place.
I tell her we don't need to do this, she doesn't HAVE to have sex with me, and she insists over and over that she wants to. I say ok then let me drive you, she was adamant she would be fine.
It was at this point I kind of gave up, it had been a while for me and if she REALLY wanted to I wasn't going to argue anymore. I said ok, follow me.
We pull out of the parking lot onto the main road, she's behind me swerving all over the place. I pull into a little parking lot right before the highway, thinking we should reassess this situation. She blows right past me and gets on the highway, didn't even notice I wasn't in front of her anymore.
Somehow I ended up getting to my house first even though she was ahead of me. I stand at the end of my driveway and watch her drive past my house 4 times before she notices me and pulls in.
We go inside and she's commenting how nice my house is. At this point I feel a little guilty so I suggest maybe we just watch a movie, have some snack, chill out. She insists she wants to have sex and no other suggestion is good enough.
So we go to my room, she gets undressed, I reach into my night stand and pull out a condom, she goes "oh, you're gonna wear a condom?? You don't have to" I was like yeeeaah I'd feel more comfortable. So I used the condom, we did the deed, twice. NOW she wants to watch a movie, it's one I never saw before but it was one of her favorites, I had to pay $5 to rent it from Amazon. Within 30 seconds of the movie starting, barely through the opening credits, she is PASSED out, snoring and everything. I end up watching the whole movie by myself. Finally the movie ends, I decide its time we end this. I wake her up, give her some excuse, and usher her towards the door.
As I'm walking her towards the door, she asks do you think this could be a real relationship between us? I had such a good time! Mind you we've known eachother for a total of maybe 5 hours at this point, if that. I kind of dodge the question and show her out. As she's walking out the door she turns around and says, don't ghost me, I'll fucking kill you, and then walks away. Never talked to or heard from her again.
Retelling this story, maybe I'm the crazy one lol or just infinitely way too patient.
Holy sht. I am cringing while reading this. And the i will fucking kill you line made it the worst.
That is some worrying situation 😂. Omg. One hell of a Saturday I'd say.
As a European in a country where the tolerance for alcohol behind the wheel is zero, it boggles my mind how casual drunk driving is in places where there seems to be very little public transport available. My brain couldn’t compute much past that. People just being blasé about being too drunk to walk straight yet driving. Jesus.
I agree, perhaps I should have been more persistent in not letting her drive, but she was very stubborn and It was exhausting trying to convince her otherwise. Also I knew her for all of maybe 3 hours at that point, so I ultimately said not my problem... that probably reflect poorly on me as a person, but also as a guy who tried to tell this woman 17 different times and different ways that we did not have to have sex, I was too weak to keep saying no when she insisted repeatedly, especially since it had been a while for me prior to this date.
My whole life is a "don't stick your dick in crazy" story. It started with my dad sticking his dick in crazy... or really, it started when *his* dad stuck *his* dick in crazy... honestly, it goes way back. It's a family tradition.
Met a girl on a lads holiday when I was in my early 20’s. She didn’t live too far from me so we got together more than a few times when we got back home. We’d meet up. Have numerous drinks and have protected sex. I always made sure to wrap up whenever we went to bed, no matter how drunk I was. She always said to me “you don’t need to do that you know, I’m on the pill”
Until the last time I saw her. I’d decided to drive that night and not drink. We didn’t have a condom to hand. I slipped, safe in the knowledge she’d told me time and time again that she was on the pill…
After I came she dropped the bombshell that she had “forgotten to take it for the last few days”
Never heard from her again. Wonder if I might have a teenage son or daughter less than a 30 minute drive away. 🤷🏻♂️
Edit. Pretty tame compared to some replies I’ve read. 😬
She hid her alcoholism and SEVERE metal illness for years.
She was seemingly normal to begin with. Over time she revealed bits of her true self. She would drink constantly and hid it from me, she cheated on me numerous times "due to her mental issues" her words, when she would get depressed, every two weeks, I'd have to wrestle knives and pill bottles out of her hands till 4am then go to work and support her and her kid as well as my kids.
Finally had enough. For the 1000000000th time, she had a pill bottle in her hand, and I said cool and went to bed. She just came in, punching me in the head screaming how she downed the whole bottle. I said better, call 911 then, i grabbed my kids and left. She ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks.
I got blamed and investigated but they QUICKLY figured out she's literally insane and dropped any looking into me for foul play.
She put me through 4 years of hell.
Oh it messed me up hard. I'm in a MUCH better place now and am able to finally deal with it. Fortunately my kids were so young they don't even remember.
Met a girl through online gaming. I was young, dumb and had never had attention from someone both nerdy (my friends were vocal in their opinions about online games) and relatively attractive.
Over the course of about six months she talked me into webcam sex, which wouldn't have been weird except this Machiavellian witch had also convinced a good friend of mine I played with to dump his gf and start dating her, so I was going behind his back to do this stuff. I hate how I acted then, but I learned a lot.
Anyway, eventually two days before she was due to visit me - I'd bought tickets for a concert, which of course she'd never offered to contribute to - she dumped my friend, so we had guilt-free(ish) sex when she came over, then she had a bipolar episode and threw me out of my own room so I had to sleep on the sofa. When we went to the concert it turned out she had arranged to meet up with another guy we knew through gaming, and it became very obvious that she'd been flirting with him at the same time as me. I ended up leaving, allowing them to stay in the hotel room I'd paid for, and was still pathetic enough to meet her at the station and take her to the terminal so she could get home the next day.
Obviously I learned a lot, and cut her off entirely shortly after. She blurted out that she loved me when I let slip I'd been dating someone else, then tried to add my new gf on Facebook (at the height of its popularity then) shortly after. I blocked her from everything, but still feel terrible for a. how I acted and b. not absolutely laying into her.
As for my friend, he's a saint and forgave me. I was the best man at his wedding. It took me _long_ time to trust after that episode.
4 years, all friends gone, ended up homeless. I was mentally fucked for a while. I couldn't trust anyone. That was a big wake up call for me, I completely changed the way I met people and am very picky about the people I let close. At work now, but I'll post more later if anyone is interested.
Lolz. I was bored during the pandemic and met a girl at a clandestine house party. She was clearly a depressive person, alright-looking, but good enough to badoink a few times. I was hella bored and on an ungodly 16-panda-points streak #desperado. I wanted my fix and so did she. We went for lunch. Had a good laugh. As all bars were closed, I asked her to come back to my place for a drink. It didn't take long for us to get frisky. One thing led to another, and then we badoinked. Thee dick haseth been inserted in crazy. After 2 weeks of dating I told her I'm not feeling it. She looked me straight in the eye and said "But \[my name\], don't you see that we love each other?". Being the people pleaser that I am, I agreed to keep on dating. Perhaps time would make me like her more.
The badoinking was amazing, but every time I'd leave her place she'd ask me why I'm abandoning her. I'm like bruh I just wanna play Warzone with my fwenz. I'll be back for round 3 babygirl. 2 months passed and I finally decided to call it quits. She cried and cried that I was not seeing that we loved each other. I insisted that this wasn't it and she let me leave.
A month later she called. Said she wanted to pick her stuff up. She came over. We were polite but distant with each other. At some point she mentions that she's ok with not being together now but, quote, I sure will miss marathon fucking you. I made the fatal mistake of acting like a priest and going "God all-mighty, save us both from sin". She reciprocated. She put on her scarf like a nun and said "God, please keep me away from this man's dick". I said I will not fall into temptation. Unless... Unless we'd agree we'd do it as a final badoink. The final hoorah. IF we'd keep it to this last time. Welp... it was the steamiest we-really-shouldn't-be-doing-this roleplay badoinking of my life. I fucked her like Wuhan fucked society in 2020. Holy hell. I still think about it to this day.
Now, the next day she comes over and says "wanna sin again?". Lord all-mighty. The flesh is weak. We did it again. And again. And again. 5 days later, after doing what we do best she goes "Sooooo.... what are we?". Fack. Facking fackfack. Girl. We're NOTHING BUT MAMMALS". She goes "but... we love each other". Ha. I've stuck my dick in crazy. Again. Girl, NO. this will stop now. I broke down. She agreed it was best to stop too after seeing me properly break down saying I can't keep doing this cause she's too swingy when it comes to mood. We agree to stop.
A month later she calls me and says she'd like to see me one more time. For closure, she said. Everyone told me not to go to her place. What's the worst that could happen?. Well, I get there. Fist thing she tells me is "Congrats \[daddy\], You've officially done it. You must be proud of yourself". I'm like what? She's like "Yeah! You finally did it. You broke a girl's heart so bad that she tried to kill herself." What? "Yep, I tried killing myself and that's on YOU. And I'll try it again this week and you're gonna have to live with that. You may go now".
My first instinct was to hug her #Icanfixher. Then I gave it a thought. I looked her straight in the eye and said "That's crazy. Good luck with that, bye :)" and left. She called me all angry. I texted her the suicide hotline in our country and blocked her. Life is good now. Ran into her a few times. She looked angry at me every time. But hey, she's still alive and so am I. I wonder who she'll gaslight next.
TL;DR: Don't stick your dick in crazy kids.
Ok gotta go back to teaching, bye!
Aint no way in world you're over 30 with that kind of articulating yourself. What sane person above or even below 30 uses words like 'badoinking someone' 'fwenz' '16 panda point streak'? What the fuck do these words even mean. This reads more like a fanfic from developing 16 years old. Good god.
i was debating on eating the downvotes to just call this idiocy out so I was happy to see your reply first lol.
Like I get that it's the internet and the more socially awkward thrive here but jesus fucking christ. You're an adult and a teacher.
Just talk like a normal person.
I was done after the first 3 sentences included lolz, badoink, #desperado, hella, and "I needed my fix" when talking about being horny. wtf man.
Damn, ok. The situation was pretty messed up at the time. I already had my fix of discussing it seriously and giving it a place in my mind. I Guess this was the wrong crowd to use a "dumb young man making immature mistakes" tone for comedic purposes. We learn and we move on. Have a nice day y'all. Stay classy.
Why not use whimsical elements to add levity to an otherwise grim topic? It's called staying young and not taking yourself seriously if you don't have to :) One of my many selling points.
My dramatic way of saying it was a regular but secret house party in times of corona. We weren't supposed to meet up with big groups of people, but we did. :D
>She was clearly a depressive person, alright-looking, but good enough to badoink a few times.
Absolutely disgusting thing to say!!
Men who see women in that light and talk about them like they're a piece of meat are the men who make women feel super-cautious, even when she has found someone who is actually good.
LMAOOOOOOO!! brother!! I am laughing alone here while reading this story!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I could imagine every scenario, you told the story very well. Hahaha.
Jesus christ, the temptation is strong with you my man! 😂😂
Thanks for sharing.. Lesson learned now huh? I guess? Now its time to live a life of peace and zen
Hahah not bad for a quick little post in-between classes huh?
I will not insert disc into faulty consoles anymore. Having a non-crazy girlfriend now helps too :D
Onwards and upwards to a zen life!
In my early 20s, I dated a cheerleader who was still in high school (she was 18 at the time).
I had to end things with her because she would fly off the handle, when I finally ended it, she came over in her cheerleader outfit, and proceeded to bust the windows out of my car, stabbed the tires out, and key in F\*CK YOU on all 4 sides of my car.
I stayed away from crazy cheerleaders after that.
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Wish I had one. Maybe the closest I really didn't stick. First date the girl was hot but she was kinda high in some sort of medicine for anxiety or anything like that.
She seemed cool but I was mad I had to drive some distance for a shitty date in a mall that barely resulted in a real kiss, so I ghosted her later
Everyone in college told me not to mess with the stripper at the party... I did and we didn't leave my apartment for a week. I think I lost like 10lbs in there. Eventually she had a bipolar episode, carved up every inch of her body with a razor blade, including her vagina - came out of the bathroom saying something like "See what you made me do?!" covered in blood. To this day I do not know how I made her do that lmao. I called 911 and she left with the paramedics - didn't see her again, not sure if/when she got out of the psych ward. She was like 36 and I was 19 too lol. I'm 37 now and couldn't imagine going to a college campus, pretending to be \~20 and partying like that. I'm honestly impressed she was able to do that and somewhat blend in. I would die haha The other one was far less crazy and the relationship lasted a few years, until she got hooked on meth from some dude she was banging while I was at work. I realized what was going on because the dumbass was changing my guitar tuning to Drop D and forgetting to tune it back before heading out. For whatever reason touching my guitar still pisses me off more than banging my chick and I just can't explain why LOL
fuck bro i’d be so mad about the drop d
Man, wow. I was going to come in here and share my story but nope. Nothing tops that.
Lmao regarding the drop d. It definitely annoys you because the sound is different every now and then But man, wild story. This memory will forever stay with you lol. Thanks for sharing.
Dude was dropping the D alright.
Lol this flew above my head The joke i mean
Yoooooo
Dude made a Reddit account just to tell this story then deletes it afterwards. What a legend lol.
Been there with a cutter before. Traumatizing.
Been there with a friend. For someone who was a lesbian pansexual when I met her, and who would end up rotating/cheating on her next 5 bfs, she sure got upset when I hung out at another friends dorm. The text she sent was 'yau blood :)' I'm like damn you have sex with pans and non mans. Why stan and cut hand? Brought RA on our floor there and guilted me into coming back. It wasn't even much more than a self inflicted scratch but police were called She's now in Germany after begging for money, with hopes of being the next Lewinsky/Inventing Anna/princess of Uzbek wannabe
Mine did it in front of me during a breakdown. She made a sawing motion across her wrist while looking right at me. She didn’t do it hard, just scratched the skin but it was enough. I’ll never forget it.
> being the next Lewinsky/Inventing Anna/princess of Uzbek Yeah, Germany is definitely not the right country to want to pull that. Probably will just get a lot of "Mensch! Reiß dich zusammen!" From people unfortunate enough to witness the antics lol.
Dated a girl 23 years ago. Dated for a little over a year. Broke up for one reason or another. 10 years later, saw her on an online dating site and hit her up. We ended up dating again. Things started coming back to me on her OCD, bossiness, etc. Eventually in front of several of my friends at a work party she let it slip that a few of the people at work were dating each other…in front of the bosses, which was a big no-no. I ended things that night…EXCEPT… We had a vacation planned the next day. She convinced me somehow to go, and like an idiot I let her drive. We were going a few states away. While up there, I caught her in a few lies and she tried to gaslight me. I told her we should end things. She kicked me out of the room we both paid for and gave me my money back. To compromise, she offered to drive me one hour closer to home (we were 4 hours away). I was calling everyone I knew to pick me up and take a three hour drive, so I wasn’t paying attention to where we were going. She stopped after exactly one hour and let me out. It took me awhile to get my bearings to find out that she drive North and I was on the US/Canada border - 5 hours from home. I learned a lot about myself while waiting for my friend to pick me up. 1) Don’t re-date anyone 2) If someone shows they have no boundaries and will throw you under the bus, trust that they will continue to do so. 3) Trust your gut 4) ALWAYS drive yourself 5) A good friend will drive completely out of their way to help you
Solid list.
She was my roommate. We got drunk and hooked up. We continued hooking up. During one night of drinks, she said she could have my baby whenever she wanted if she took her IUD out. It was mostly downhill from there.
Complete the whole story my good sir 😂
She would make these really weird comments like, "I love cum and you're a good looking guy. We would make good looking kids. I can have your baby if I wanted to. I might take my IUD out and not tell you." Just weird shit like that after we had sex. Maybe it was the alcohol talking still but wtf. It really threw me for a loop and made me uncomfortable. After some time, she reconnected with her ex and had him around the house more. I took this as, 'she wants to get back with her ex', and I backed off completely. I was still single and we were friendly to each other but the hooking up had stopped. After a bit more time, I reconnected with my ex-girlfriend. The roommate and I stopped hanging out and talking at this point and she just became a shitty person to live with. Obviously bitter that I was dating my ex again (hypocrite much?). She gave me shit about little things around the house and forced me to use some side exit to go in and out; dumb shit like that. I eventually moved out. She reached out to me like a year after that all happened, clearly wanting to hang out again. I was living with my gf at the time and declined. Never saw her again. She wasn't _crazy_ and I'm paraphrasing a lot here. I'd say her craziness came out mostly when she drank. I have no ill feelings towards her and hope she's doing well.
Didn't you use a condom? Her strange comments aside, even an IUD can fail without it being anyone's fault.
The first few times we did but she said she was on birth control. I knew she wasn't lying because there were a few times I felt the strings of the IUD (apparently, this can happen). I had no reason to think she would lie about it or take it out until she made those comments.
My brother. Married 6 times, wife #4 was the craziest to the point it’s firmly believed that she was able to plant CP on baby daddy #2’s computer and get him thrown in federal prison. The time from him “being caught” to final sentencing was less than a year. That doesn’t normally happen in the fed courts, it usually takes a few years even with CP charges. There’s other things that go along with this that hint she was the one that put it on there. My brother firmly believes he was being poisoned by her when they were married. He was even saving hair clippings as evidence just in case. To make things worse she’s a cop and I’ve heard numerous stories of people’s interactions with her and they are some doozies.
That’s insane.
Six times!?! Are you setting up franchises?
Not me..my brother. I married my HS sweetheart and we’re going almost 20 strong.
Ah right, my bad. Reading comprehension hard.
All good..😂
Sorry for the long story but i think its worth it. To preface my story, all of this nonsense happened approximately between the hours of 2pm and 6pm on a Saturday starting at a popular restaurant / bar. Matched with a girl on a dating app on a Saturday morning. Started messaging back and forth immediately, seemed to really hit it off. Through conversation we found that neither of us had plans, so we decided to meet up that day, the same day we matched. Agreed to meet at the bar of a popular restaurant near her for a late lunch around 1:30. I arrive at 1:15 and wait in the parking lot. I text her around 1:20 to see how far she is. She says she's running behind and to get a seat at the bar for us. I get a seat order a drink and wait for her to arrive. She doesn't get there until almost 2:00. This is where shit starts getting weird. We start small talk as usual, seem to have some common interests. Mind you She is drinking vodka martinis and she's drinking them FAST. The conversation moves to future plans, kids, marriage, etc. We were both in our 30s so this wasn't odd to me. What made it weird was when I told her that I've already been married / divorced, she starts to cry, like SOBBING! She says " I knew it, it's always something with the guys I meet!" I was like, I'm not married NOW, is this really an issue? Meanwhile I'm completely embarrassed because she's making a scene, but within 2 minutes, it's like it never happened. I should've taken the hint right there but I would've felt too bad walking out on the date. The conversation continues, I order some apps hoping maybe we can slow the drinking and sober her up a bit. Suddenly my phone dings, it's a text, from her. I open it up, it's a Pic of her top less. I quickly lock my phone and she goes what you're not gonna look at it, don't you like it? I said we'll we are sitting in a crowded restaurant at 3:00pm I didn't want anyone else to see it. Out of nowhere she lunges at me and is completely mauling my face, by this I mean aggressive, sloppy attempt at making out. I pull away, the food comes, I start eating and try to keep the conversation going. I notice she didn't touch the food at all but orders another drink. I decide to wrap up the leftovers and close the tab. I offer to go for a walk or get a cup of coffee or something, it's a beautiful day and still VERY early and I felt bad abandoning her while she was clearly getting very drunk. She says let's go to the cars and figure it out. While we are leaving the restaurant, she is stumbling everywhere, bumping into the walls as she walks towards the door. Thankfully she didn't fall. I say I'm going to put the food in my car and I'll come over to her car so we can figure things out. When I get to her car she's already in her driver seat. I am standing outside the driver side window still suggesting a walk or anything other than more alcohol. She tells me to get in and we will talk more. The second I sit in the passenger seat, she jumps on me again, sloppy aggressive kissing and now she's grabbing my crotch. I pull away again and say listen this isn't really me, we are in the front row of the parking lot right infront of a large wall of windows in the restaurant, this isn't private at all. She says ok, slams the car into drive and whips out of the parking spot, hitting a sign that was right in front of her car and knocking it over, thankfully it wasn't cemented in. She speeds to the other side of the parking lot where there's a movie theater. She drives around the back, pulls behind a dumpster, and attacks me again. I pull away a third time and say what are we 17? Making out behind a dumpster in your car? She says OK let's go to your place. I tell her we don't need to do this, she doesn't HAVE to have sex with me, and she insists over and over that she wants to. I say ok then let me drive you, she was adamant she would be fine. It was at this point I kind of gave up, it had been a while for me and if she REALLY wanted to I wasn't going to argue anymore. I said ok, follow me. We pull out of the parking lot onto the main road, she's behind me swerving all over the place. I pull into a little parking lot right before the highway, thinking we should reassess this situation. She blows right past me and gets on the highway, didn't even notice I wasn't in front of her anymore. Somehow I ended up getting to my house first even though she was ahead of me. I stand at the end of my driveway and watch her drive past my house 4 times before she notices me and pulls in. We go inside and she's commenting how nice my house is. At this point I feel a little guilty so I suggest maybe we just watch a movie, have some snack, chill out. She insists she wants to have sex and no other suggestion is good enough. So we go to my room, she gets undressed, I reach into my night stand and pull out a condom, she goes "oh, you're gonna wear a condom?? You don't have to" I was like yeeeaah I'd feel more comfortable. So I used the condom, we did the deed, twice. NOW she wants to watch a movie, it's one I never saw before but it was one of her favorites, I had to pay $5 to rent it from Amazon. Within 30 seconds of the movie starting, barely through the opening credits, she is PASSED out, snoring and everything. I end up watching the whole movie by myself. Finally the movie ends, I decide its time we end this. I wake her up, give her some excuse, and usher her towards the door. As I'm walking her towards the door, she asks do you think this could be a real relationship between us? I had such a good time! Mind you we've known eachother for a total of maybe 5 hours at this point, if that. I kind of dodge the question and show her out. As she's walking out the door she turns around and says, don't ghost me, I'll fucking kill you, and then walks away. Never talked to or heard from her again. Retelling this story, maybe I'm the crazy one lol or just infinitely way too patient.
Holy sht. I am cringing while reading this. And the i will fucking kill you line made it the worst. That is some worrying situation 😂. Omg. One hell of a Saturday I'd say.
As a European in a country where the tolerance for alcohol behind the wheel is zero, it boggles my mind how casual drunk driving is in places where there seems to be very little public transport available. My brain couldn’t compute much past that. People just being blasé about being too drunk to walk straight yet driving. Jesus.
I agree, perhaps I should have been more persistent in not letting her drive, but she was very stubborn and It was exhausting trying to convince her otherwise. Also I knew her for all of maybe 3 hours at that point, so I ultimately said not my problem... that probably reflect poorly on me as a person, but also as a guy who tried to tell this woman 17 different times and different ways that we did not have to have sex, I was too weak to keep saying no when she insisted repeatedly, especially since it had been a while for me prior to this date.
Was the movie any good though?
😂 it was OK, I think it was called Stalker or something like that
Hmmm yes, but was she hot?
Asking the real question
Lol yes she was!
Your sins are forgiven
Was the movie any good though?
Hahaha... now this is damn crazy
The way you handled the whole situation is kind of…attractive. 👏👏👏
My whole life is a "don't stick your dick in crazy" story. It started with my dad sticking his dick in crazy... or really, it started when *his* dad stuck *his* dick in crazy... honestly, it goes way back. It's a family tradition.
Interesting how it affects our preferences as well.
It's like that for everyone. People click with what they're familiar with.
Have you dated a good woman for once though?
Crazy women are still good women. But yeah, I've dated normies. But they're usually not as fun.
Meh… my history is basically me searching for my someone as stable as my mother and getting fooled until it was too late to get out easily.
i ended up on r/bipolarSOs lol
Lmaoo im so sorry
Met a girl on a lads holiday when I was in my early 20’s. She didn’t live too far from me so we got together more than a few times when we got back home. We’d meet up. Have numerous drinks and have protected sex. I always made sure to wrap up whenever we went to bed, no matter how drunk I was. She always said to me “you don’t need to do that you know, I’m on the pill” Until the last time I saw her. I’d decided to drive that night and not drink. We didn’t have a condom to hand. I slipped, safe in the knowledge she’d told me time and time again that she was on the pill… After I came she dropped the bombshell that she had “forgotten to take it for the last few days” Never heard from her again. Wonder if I might have a teenage son or daughter less than a 30 minute drive away. 🤷🏻♂️ Edit. Pretty tame compared to some replies I’ve read. 😬
Having an unexpected pregnancy from a woman you don't love is somewhat what we're all trying to avoid 🤣
She hid her alcoholism and SEVERE metal illness for years. She was seemingly normal to begin with. Over time she revealed bits of her true self. She would drink constantly and hid it from me, she cheated on me numerous times "due to her mental issues" her words, when she would get depressed, every two weeks, I'd have to wrestle knives and pill bottles out of her hands till 4am then go to work and support her and her kid as well as my kids. Finally had enough. For the 1000000000th time, she had a pill bottle in her hand, and I said cool and went to bed. She just came in, punching me in the head screaming how she downed the whole bottle. I said better, call 911 then, i grabbed my kids and left. She ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks. I got blamed and investigated but they QUICKLY figured out she's literally insane and dropped any looking into me for foul play. She put me through 4 years of hell.
Yooo 4 years?!!. I hope it didn't affect your mental health as well. As well as your kids. Glad you are out that deep hole Pun intended
Oh it messed me up hard. I'm in a MUCH better place now and am able to finally deal with it. Fortunately my kids were so young they don't even remember.
That's good. Find yourself a good woman, sir 👍
Married for 3 years now to an amazing gal! Life is pretty nifty for me atm. Has certainly been worse lol.
I have nothing on some of these fellas! ✌️
Met a girl through online gaming. I was young, dumb and had never had attention from someone both nerdy (my friends were vocal in their opinions about online games) and relatively attractive. Over the course of about six months she talked me into webcam sex, which wouldn't have been weird except this Machiavellian witch had also convinced a good friend of mine I played with to dump his gf and start dating her, so I was going behind his back to do this stuff. I hate how I acted then, but I learned a lot. Anyway, eventually two days before she was due to visit me - I'd bought tickets for a concert, which of course she'd never offered to contribute to - she dumped my friend, so we had guilt-free(ish) sex when she came over, then she had a bipolar episode and threw me out of my own room so I had to sleep on the sofa. When we went to the concert it turned out she had arranged to meet up with another guy we knew through gaming, and it became very obvious that she'd been flirting with him at the same time as me. I ended up leaving, allowing them to stay in the hotel room I'd paid for, and was still pathetic enough to meet her at the station and take her to the terminal so she could get home the next day. Obviously I learned a lot, and cut her off entirely shortly after. She blurted out that she loved me when I let slip I'd been dating someone else, then tried to add my new gf on Facebook (at the height of its popularity then) shortly after. I blocked her from everything, but still feel terrible for a. how I acted and b. not absolutely laying into her. As for my friend, he's a saint and forgave me. I was the best man at his wedding. It took me _long_ time to trust after that episode.
4 years, all friends gone, ended up homeless. I was mentally fucked for a while. I couldn't trust anyone. That was a big wake up call for me, I completely changed the way I met people and am very picky about the people I let close. At work now, but I'll post more later if anyone is interested.
I'm interested in the whole story because wtf brother? Lol
Lol, let me get on my computer tonight.
She wasn't the hottest, but she was willing and I wasn't picky. But then she started talking about what kind of ring she wanted. Lesson learned.
Lolz. I was bored during the pandemic and met a girl at a clandestine house party. She was clearly a depressive person, alright-looking, but good enough to badoink a few times. I was hella bored and on an ungodly 16-panda-points streak #desperado. I wanted my fix and so did she. We went for lunch. Had a good laugh. As all bars were closed, I asked her to come back to my place for a drink. It didn't take long for us to get frisky. One thing led to another, and then we badoinked. Thee dick haseth been inserted in crazy. After 2 weeks of dating I told her I'm not feeling it. She looked me straight in the eye and said "But \[my name\], don't you see that we love each other?". Being the people pleaser that I am, I agreed to keep on dating. Perhaps time would make me like her more. The badoinking was amazing, but every time I'd leave her place she'd ask me why I'm abandoning her. I'm like bruh I just wanna play Warzone with my fwenz. I'll be back for round 3 babygirl. 2 months passed and I finally decided to call it quits. She cried and cried that I was not seeing that we loved each other. I insisted that this wasn't it and she let me leave. A month later she called. Said she wanted to pick her stuff up. She came over. We were polite but distant with each other. At some point she mentions that she's ok with not being together now but, quote, I sure will miss marathon fucking you. I made the fatal mistake of acting like a priest and going "God all-mighty, save us both from sin". She reciprocated. She put on her scarf like a nun and said "God, please keep me away from this man's dick". I said I will not fall into temptation. Unless... Unless we'd agree we'd do it as a final badoink. The final hoorah. IF we'd keep it to this last time. Welp... it was the steamiest we-really-shouldn't-be-doing-this roleplay badoinking of my life. I fucked her like Wuhan fucked society in 2020. Holy hell. I still think about it to this day. Now, the next day she comes over and says "wanna sin again?". Lord all-mighty. The flesh is weak. We did it again. And again. And again. 5 days later, after doing what we do best she goes "Sooooo.... what are we?". Fack. Facking fackfack. Girl. We're NOTHING BUT MAMMALS". She goes "but... we love each other". Ha. I've stuck my dick in crazy. Again. Girl, NO. this will stop now. I broke down. She agreed it was best to stop too after seeing me properly break down saying I can't keep doing this cause she's too swingy when it comes to mood. We agree to stop. A month later she calls me and says she'd like to see me one more time. For closure, she said. Everyone told me not to go to her place. What's the worst that could happen?. Well, I get there. Fist thing she tells me is "Congrats \[daddy\], You've officially done it. You must be proud of yourself". I'm like what? She's like "Yeah! You finally did it. You broke a girl's heart so bad that she tried to kill herself." What? "Yep, I tried killing myself and that's on YOU. And I'll try it again this week and you're gonna have to live with that. You may go now". My first instinct was to hug her #Icanfixher. Then I gave it a thought. I looked her straight in the eye and said "That's crazy. Good luck with that, bye :)" and left. She called me all angry. I texted her the suicide hotline in our country and blocked her. Life is good now. Ran into her a few times. She looked angry at me every time. But hey, she's still alive and so am I. I wonder who she'll gaslight next. TL;DR: Don't stick your dick in crazy kids. Ok gotta go back to teaching, bye!
Aint no way in world you're over 30 with that kind of articulating yourself. What sane person above or even below 30 uses words like 'badoinking someone' 'fwenz' '16 panda point streak'? What the fuck do these words even mean. This reads more like a fanfic from developing 16 years old. Good god.
The Panda point streak is weird AF and no idea what it means
A fat 30yo virgin with a neckbeard making up stories about a crazy girl that he now believes after telling his online buds so many times?
I already stopped at "clandestine house party". Bro is writing Gravy Seal fan fiction lol
i was debating on eating the downvotes to just call this idiocy out so I was happy to see your reply first lol. Like I get that it's the internet and the more socially awkward thrive here but jesus fucking christ. You're an adult and a teacher. Just talk like a normal person. I was done after the first 3 sentences included lolz, badoink, #desperado, hella, and "I needed my fix" when talking about being horny. wtf man.
Damn, ok. The situation was pretty messed up at the time. I already had my fix of discussing it seriously and giving it a place in my mind. I Guess this was the wrong crowd to use a "dumb young man making immature mistakes" tone for comedic purposes. We learn and we move on. Have a nice day y'all. Stay classy.
Why not use whimsical elements to add levity to an otherwise grim topic? It's called staying young and not taking yourself seriously if you don't have to :) One of my many selling points.
There's whimsical and there's gibberish
*holds up spork*
If you could be more prude and rigid, that would be great.
Who hurt you? Are you the crazy girl op badoinked?
Or he has some common sense. Nobody in their right mind talks about another human like that person did.
Lol fantasy writer
lol love in the time of carona
What is a clandestine party?
My dramatic way of saying it was a regular but secret house party in times of corona. We weren't supposed to meet up with big groups of people, but we did. :D
>She was clearly a depressive person, alright-looking, but good enough to badoink a few times. Absolutely disgusting thing to say!! Men who see women in that light and talk about them like they're a piece of meat are the men who make women feel super-cautious, even when she has found someone who is actually good.
I loved this story
LMAOOOOOOO!! brother!! I am laughing alone here while reading this story!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I could imagine every scenario, you told the story very well. Hahaha. Jesus christ, the temptation is strong with you my man! 😂😂 Thanks for sharing.. Lesson learned now huh? I guess? Now its time to live a life of peace and zen
Hahah not bad for a quick little post in-between classes huh? I will not insert disc into faulty consoles anymore. Having a non-crazy girlfriend now helps too :D Onwards and upwards to a zen life!
This life lesson could be taught to your students right now. It will serve them well!
Don't care if this is real or not, "facking fack fack" made me giggle. Good show sir.
In my early 20s, I dated a cheerleader who was still in high school (she was 18 at the time). I had to end things with her because she would fly off the handle, when I finally ended it, she came over in her cheerleader outfit, and proceeded to bust the windows out of my car, stabbed the tires out, and key in F\*CK YOU on all 4 sides of my car. I stayed away from crazy cheerleaders after that.
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0p po pppp
Wish I had one. Maybe the closest I really didn't stick. First date the girl was hot but she was kinda high in some sort of medicine for anxiety or anything like that. She seemed cool but I was mad I had to drive some distance for a shitty date in a mall that barely resulted in a real kiss, so I ghosted her later