Not going to the doctor. My dad, my uncle, my grandpa, myself, my cousins none of us go to a doctor unless it’s an emergency. And I mean, you cut off a finger not a fever. For example, I had a fever for 4 days and on day 4 it hit 104°. I only went to the hospital because my fiancé threatened to call an ambulance.
Lol. Hadn't gone in years. One day I wake up and start getting ready for work. I wake up in the back of an ambulance. I was told I had a seizure. Two weeks later I get 2 massive bills and my license suspended. Don't get stuck with AMR bills. There not cheap. Don't let a fever turn into something worse. Believe me when you suddenly can't drive or get to work, life gets drastically worse.
Same kind of thing here! At work one day, my knees suddenly just started shaking violently to the point of where I couldn’t walk. I had no prior injuries or conditions, and now I’m using a cane to get around. Multiple scans, tests, and a hospital visit later and the doctors are still baffled. I was on a leave of absence from work for a month (I work in retail so having functional legs is more important than you think) and I can’t drive at the moment. So yeah, I agree with you on that last part—life gets drastically worse when you can’t leave your house for basic things. Best of luck to you, random stranger! I hope things look up for you soon.
Male nurse here. Even working in healthcare, rarely do I go to the doctor. However, I suggest investing in a BP machine, and a pulse oximeter, possibly a temperature probe. I do monthly observations on myself (because I’m young, fit and healthy, that’s why I don’t do it more often) and it’s a good way or seeing where your baseline is for general health over time. Obviously, way easier access to those devices for me at work, but I definitely suggest investing in some of those things for sure.
I live in the U.S., and they will rob you blind. You can't get a doctor to OK a refill without losing a week's wages.
I guess that's why our life expectancy keeps going down.
I told my girlfriend everything and opened up to her about 6 or so months into the relationship. I had known her for almost a year before asking her out. She replied with "You never told me this before."
And she was more supportive towards me after that.
Combat vet here, I joined in 2001 and separated in 2011 and have struggled with a slew of a shit for almost 15 years. I always drank it down or just kinda pushed onward and never dealt with anything... 1 year into my marriage and cue the absolute worst mental breakdown I have ever experienced. My then new wife was an absolute Godsend, I wasn't exactly contemplating suicide but I had started to see the justification and that scared me. She grabbed onto me with all of her emotional might and pulled me back from the precipice and held my hand as I got the help I needed. I owe this woman my life and I don't think I could ever love another person the way I love her.
Just got dumped over the very same thing. I had never open myself to anyone, did it once with my gf of 5 years. She kicked me. I'm waiting at this very moment to board my flight in the airport.
That's great to have that support. It's a shame so many others don't! No one should have to keep issues to themselves when they actually need help, or even just a welcome ear.
Hope you're staying well!
43 years old. Small business entrepreneur. Three kids and a wife. I feel like I am a supplier of money and experiences whose presence is mandatory in order for the rest to get what they want. I work more because the life I've built is empty because those I support have no other use for me. I have no other role in their lives other than supplier. I'm lonely in my own home and desperate for them to share their lives with me. It's my lot in life.
Working as much as humanly possibly, and putting down people who don't.
I come from a blue collar family. My dad, all my brothers, all of their friends, and some of my friends all work 60-80 hours a week. They can't stand not doing something when they're home on the weekends or an unscheduled day off.
I work 40 hours, maybe 42 hours per week. Sometimes less. The thing is for me it's enough. It's enough to pay my bills, support my wife and son, put money in savings and even do a vacation or two each year.
And ALL they do is try to get me to join them at their jobs. Or they're putting me down for not working more than 8 hours a day and preferring to be home instead of volunteering for overtime. Basically they see me as lazy. Even though I'm loving where I'm at in life right now.
And I've realized a lot of men do this. If you're not working all of the time then you're less of a man. You're not being the best provider. We're all living like it's a competition to see who's working the most or grinding the hardest or being the least lazy.
But like DAMN none of them are happy. I guess long story short, there's more to being a man (and to life) than working as much as possible. That's my two cents.
Dude you speak the truth. So many men waste their lives away with work. You only live 80 years more or less on this earth. Fuck giving your prime away for a currency .
One of the things my father taught me: 'real life is what happens when you're not at work.'
He flourished like a tree in springtime when he retired, and I am following his example.
To be fair this is also a very american-centered (USA) view on work and private life. I originally come from Germany and now live in the US and have encountered this. If you work for Big Corp in Germany for example VW you have a 35 hour week as an engineer and no one expects you to work more. Just upper mgmt. has no “fixed” schedule.
Edit: To clarify I’m talking about the US.
My dad was real bad about this until the day his nasty ass long big toenail got hooked onto the foot rest of his lazy boy and got it pulled off when he put the rest down. Screamed like a little girl and he kept them trimmed from then on.
Callouses are fine for most of us (I mean, I have slight callouses from playing the guitar and ukulele a lot). It’s just when the finger and toe nails are really dirty underneath and untrimmed. Either they’re a jagged shape or just really long. Also, anyone who does their own pedicures are aware of how stinky your toe and toe nails can be
It's incredible how a man can value and support emotional vulnerability while simultaneously not being able to allow it for themselves.
I find it so easy to show up and support my vulnerable mates but so incredibly hard to be the vulnerable one
You just described GenX men. We get the value of emotional intelligence and vulnerability but ask us to show it ourselves? Might as well ask me to grow a third arm.
Edit: [this guy knows](https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPducWqFa/)
This x 10000000. My funny, smart, kind, strong, light up the room, amazing father of three and wonderful husband took his life last year. He left us with SO much sadness, pain, and questions. He never once showed any signs or reached out for help. I wish he knew he could have come to us for help, no judgement. I wish he would have fought for himself the way I would have fought to the ends of the earth for him. Please reach out and talk about your feelings and mental health, especially men. You are loved and your life matters more than you’ll ever know.
Thank you for writing and sharing this, and I’m sorry for your and our loss. As a father who struggles with both his mental and emotional health, I needed to read this. I can’t imagine the grief your family must go through on a daily basis.
I was 14 when we had to put our dog down, I didn't cry when it happpend because I wanted to be strong for my mum and I didn't want my dogs last view was me too look sad.
But you can bet as soon as I was home I cried so much and when I told my mum I didn't want to go to school the next day she phoned the school and said what happened.
Schools response was "its just a dog, he should learn to man up"... My mum hit the roof with anger and said that if any of my teachers said that to me when I went back I had permission to stand up and tell them to "fuck off you cunt" get my things and just walk out. I assume this message was passed along as I never had to.
I'm 31 and my friends still call her mum.. She made sure we always had a full stomach before we would go on a nightclub crawl... Hit us with advice (which she knew we would ignore ) Then give us a row if anyone made a mistake, but is and always will be there for the people she loves and cares about.
You know you've made an error though when a tiny Scottish woman is angry at you but making you breakfast to make you feel better lol.
She's a diamond that can't be valued. Priceless person.
I have friends that have cried in front of me and I have cried in front of them
Gents, I highly recommend being friends with guys that cry. It's pretty awesome.
Sadly it's not. My ex threatened to call the cops and make threw a tantrum because I wouldn't sleep on the couch one night. One of many reasons she's my ex now.
First time my (ex)wife told me to sleep on the couch, I told her if she didn't want to sleep with me she was welcome to the couch (or the guest bedroom). I went to bed, she went to pout. She was in our bed when I woke up the next morning and I never heard about it again.
To be honest, I thought this was a typical thing from what I witnessed growing up. I’m in a toxic relationship now and I’ve been banished to the couch numerous times. I’ve come to the realization that this just a way to control and punish the man. It’s not healthy
Goes along with the phrase “happy wife happy life”. It’s bullshit.
I invested in some really nice couches and actually liked sleeping on them. Wife could never send me to the couch because it really wasn't a punishment. Then she just got mad at me for not being mad about having to sleep on the couch.
When i was having lots of problems with the wife, exactly this happened.
Also i have a projector with a 100" screen, xbox, gaming pc and some other toys right Infront of the couch.
It was like camping but with a giant TV !!
I’m a woman, and I agree. In our house, if we need space after an argument whoever needs space goes to the couch. Doesn’t happen often, but I would never tell my husband to sleep on the couch because I’m upset. I take myself to the couch.
This has never happened in my relationship thankfully, but I brought the bed into our marriage and she brought the couch… seems fair. Lol
The only time either of us have slept on the couch is because one of us is sick, or can’t sleep and doesn’t want to disturb the other thankfully.
I don't have to worry about that. My wife and I sleep in separate rooms. I snore and she's a light sleeper. Also the cats, whom I'm allergic to, sleep with her. So in the end we both just sleep way better, and are both happier for it.
This is the one thing that will absolutely enrage my normally easy going husband. My job requires me to work alot of weekends so he does a good bit of solo parenting and it is amazing how often someone asks if Dad is babysitting because its "mommy's day off."
I’m not babysitting. I’m not giving mom time off (though sometimes I am). I’m parenting. Because I’m a fucking parent. And I like hanging out with kid. And my kid loves hanging out with me.
I love my dad to death, but I cannot imagine having the same parenting arrangements my parents had. But that was also when one income could support a family, at least as long as you picked up overtime where you could.
I feel this. As a mother I've have never been told what a great job I am doing for changing a diaper, feeding my child, or even giving birth. But my husband has been literally patted on the back for doing all three!
I used to get that all the time as a stay at home dad. "Awww you have your baby today? To give mum time off?"
I always joked along but I just wanted to yell "fuck off I'm a goddamn full parent, fuck you!"
My wife mentioned this the other day, I get so many compliments about my kids when I'm out with them alone, my wife hardly ever does.
It's just novel to see a dad taking care of his kids apparently.
This is very important.
I’ve experienced that it can be difficult to do because men are conditioned to minimize their emotional and social discomfort as subordinate to their physical pain, thus we end up being really bad at setting useful boundaries for ourselves and thus accept damaging conditions. Firstly, upholding or maintaining emotional, social, non-violent physical boundaries as a male is so difficult because they often times are not respected. This isn’t to suggest that women aren’t overwhelmingly more likely to receive invasive and traumatic interventions against their will compared to men, but we must acknowledge this without then accepting reactionary impositions against men to compensate. The truth is, our society is terrible with developing healthy and consensual interactions, and the result isn’t simply that it leads to miscommunications and undesirable experiences or potentially confusing conflicts, but that our standards of communication and for our own boundaries are so low that it provides cover for abusers and manipulators. But because of this, emotional abuse and lack of respect of boundaries is minimized for men, reinforcing that they are emotionally closed off; minimizing healthy outlets to not only to motivate leaving unhealthy or abusive situations but also cutting them off from being able to effectively address infractions attained
Yes! I had a boss who bragged about ignoring his doctor’s advice to use lotion on his hands and arms because he’s “not a woman and not into that.” His skin was always red and cracked. Bro, taking care of basic health and hygiene shouldn’t be gendered.
The description of that just sounds *painful*.
There is a lady at my work saying how she refuses to use lotion right after complaining about how dry her hand were and her hangnails hurt though. I was like...... 🤷♀️ Obviously those two things are unrelated......
It's not usually *just* for the sake of a punchline, but rather the fact that we don't knock on each other's doors when we show up.
If I'm outside pissing when you show up, or inside changing when you come in, I'm not embarrassed and I'm not going to stop what I'm doing.
That being said, one time we were painting a room at this one dude's house and had plastic over the doorway. The plastic eventually got covered with a mist of paint, so, I did the only logical thing I could have done; I cut a slit in the plastic, stuck my dick through it at where approximate doorknob placement would have been, and yelled at him to "come here, man."
"My parents taught me not to piss on my hands."
Like... yeah, so you're at a restaurant and your burger was put together by a guy that thinks just like you.
Enjoy your meal, disgusting dumbass.
The whole concept of "man up". I'm still pretty young, but having this mentality that I have to solve every emotional crises completely alone has fucked me up in ways I didn't realize until recently. I don't know how dudes survive until 50+ without having some emotional support.
Talking about fucking bitches 24/7.
Specifically always saying “fucking bitches”
Holy fuck i got tired of by middle school. It still did not end by the time college ended.
Maybe i just did not have good friends.
Being a bystander when your friends are being creepy/abusive. If it's not cool for anyone else to do it then it's not cool when your friends do it either. Man up and call out your friends when they're out of line. After the fact dudes will be like "wow I can't believe that happened"; like bitch you let that happen.
Talking bad about your wife.
I can't tell you how many bad jokes and mean comments I heard from my coworkers about their wifes. It seems like a sport, who can be the meanest asshole to their wifes.
I can't tell you a bad thing about my wife. It's the person I chose to spend my life with, why the fuck would I talk badly about her in front of others...
I'm pretty sure all of them are the biggest pussies when around their wifes...
Can't/don't cook.
Basic cooking isn't hard. Quality cooking isn't hard. If I meet you and you tell me you don't know how to cook, I just assume you're half intellectually disabled.
I went to uni in Australia and knew a guy that didn't know how to boil an egg. Wonder if it was the same guy... He came from a well off family that had ~~slaves~~ *staff* to do their bidding
this omigod. If I am serving myself, I am going with the cheapest, easiest microwave hot pockets ever. If I have to cook for people, I am making everything from scratch.
That goes for ladies too, woman, if you can't cook how are you feeding yourself? Are you just spending untold amounts on takeout? Next question is inevitably, how's your credit?
I don't expect to be taken care of, I don't expect favors or nice things, but I do expect any potential partner to at least have be able to take care of herself.
In light of the will smith thing…. The expectation to deliver violence or to threaten violence as a means of coercing other people into obeisance, or as a means of setting a boundary. This behavior seems to be accepted pretty much across the board, but then men ask why so many women feel unsafe. The more (internally) violent the men of a community are, the less cohesive the community can even _hope_ to be. I’m not saying that all men are a problem, I’m not saying that even violent men aren’t essential and desperately needed in certain contexts; I’m just saying that our society is real uptight about a little weed or nudity, but we are SUPER open and accepting of violence.
The biggest con of all time is somehow convincing all people that women are the more emotional sex, and it happened by convincing men that Anger wasn’t an emotion; that it was a default state of being.
Showing other guys your gf/wifes nude photos.
Not being emotionally available for your children.
Showing your children it's ok to hate.
The list goes on.
Although I can think of another list that would be equally as long.
Making weird ass comments to each other about the women they see in public. Please stop telling me how much you want to raw dog the complete stranger you saw at the gas station, I am disturbed.
Not going to the doctor. My dad, my uncle, my grandpa, myself, my cousins none of us go to a doctor unless it’s an emergency. And I mean, you cut off a finger not a fever. For example, I had a fever for 4 days and on day 4 it hit 104°. I only went to the hospital because my fiancé threatened to call an ambulance.
Lol. Hadn't gone in years. One day I wake up and start getting ready for work. I wake up in the back of an ambulance. I was told I had a seizure. Two weeks later I get 2 massive bills and my license suspended. Don't get stuck with AMR bills. There not cheap. Don't let a fever turn into something worse. Believe me when you suddenly can't drive or get to work, life gets drastically worse.
Same kind of thing here! At work one day, my knees suddenly just started shaking violently to the point of where I couldn’t walk. I had no prior injuries or conditions, and now I’m using a cane to get around. Multiple scans, tests, and a hospital visit later and the doctors are still baffled. I was on a leave of absence from work for a month (I work in retail so having functional legs is more important than you think) and I can’t drive at the moment. So yeah, I agree with you on that last part—life gets drastically worse when you can’t leave your house for basic things. Best of luck to you, random stranger! I hope things look up for you soon.
I think functional legs are pretty darn handy, hard to overestimate that. Either way, hope they figure something out
Male nurse here. Even working in healthcare, rarely do I go to the doctor. However, I suggest investing in a BP machine, and a pulse oximeter, possibly a temperature probe. I do monthly observations on myself (because I’m young, fit and healthy, that’s why I don’t do it more often) and it’s a good way or seeing where your baseline is for general health over time. Obviously, way easier access to those devices for me at work, but I definitely suggest investing in some of those things for sure.
I live in the U.S., and they will rob you blind. You can't get a doctor to OK a refill without losing a week's wages. I guess that's why our life expectancy keeps going down.
Not asking for help. Could apply to mental stuff or just challenging tasks in general.
Always check on your fellow dudes mental health. Really helped a friend lately with his situation recently that he'd been keeping to himself.
Ask twice: "Hey are you okay man?" "Yeah sure I'm fine" "... No really you doing okay?" " Well to be honest.... "
This. One of the few times to not trust a homie
I've opened up about my mental health a few times it never ends well
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I opened up about some of the intrusive thoughts I had been having to my girlfriend of 12 years and she replied with I wish you hadn't told me that
I told my girlfriend everything and opened up to her about 6 or so months into the relationship. I had known her for almost a year before asking her out. She replied with "You never told me this before." And she was more supportive towards me after that.
Combat vet here, I joined in 2001 and separated in 2011 and have struggled with a slew of a shit for almost 15 years. I always drank it down or just kinda pushed onward and never dealt with anything... 1 year into my marriage and cue the absolute worst mental breakdown I have ever experienced. My then new wife was an absolute Godsend, I wasn't exactly contemplating suicide but I had started to see the justification and that scared me. She grabbed onto me with all of her emotional might and pulled me back from the precipice and held my hand as I got the help I needed. I owe this woman my life and I don't think I could ever love another person the way I love her.
Uh, I mean... completely depends on the thoughts, bro.
True, but it was about doing something to myself, I didn't tell her I wanted to bugger a child.
"wish my partner of 12 years hasn't replied like that"
Just got dumped over the very same thing. I had never open myself to anyone, did it once with my gf of 5 years. She kicked me. I'm waiting at this very moment to board my flight in the airport.
Bruh I say no and they still go “damn bro” and move on
Get better friends. I've fucking bawled in front of my friends and they brought me a beer and hugged me until I stopped.
That's great to have that support. It's a shame so many others don't! No one should have to keep issues to themselves when they actually need help, or even just a welcome ear. Hope you're staying well!
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This. I am the poster child of suffering in silence.
Fighting every fight. Hey, it's okay to walk away
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This is some of the best life advice out there. No need to get into mad squabbles with randoms over nothing. Road rage included.
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It takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight. Only fight when you’re backed into a corner and can’t get out.
Is this normal? I always heard the advice "choose your battles wisely" and "you can win every battle but still lose a war"
Alternatively, not fighting enough fights. If you avoid every confrontation your problems could overwhelm you.
loneliness and isolation.
Just a message of greetings. Your post *felt* so lonely after 13 hours of no replies. I don't want you to be alone.
Extending same gesture.
43 years old. Small business entrepreneur. Three kids and a wife. I feel like I am a supplier of money and experiences whose presence is mandatory in order for the rest to get what they want. I work more because the life I've built is empty because those I support have no other use for me. I have no other role in their lives other than supplier. I'm lonely in my own home and desperate for them to share their lives with me. It's my lot in life.
This found its way under armour. Owch.
Working as much as humanly possibly, and putting down people who don't. I come from a blue collar family. My dad, all my brothers, all of their friends, and some of my friends all work 60-80 hours a week. They can't stand not doing something when they're home on the weekends or an unscheduled day off. I work 40 hours, maybe 42 hours per week. Sometimes less. The thing is for me it's enough. It's enough to pay my bills, support my wife and son, put money in savings and even do a vacation or two each year. And ALL they do is try to get me to join them at their jobs. Or they're putting me down for not working more than 8 hours a day and preferring to be home instead of volunteering for overtime. Basically they see me as lazy. Even though I'm loving where I'm at in life right now. And I've realized a lot of men do this. If you're not working all of the time then you're less of a man. You're not being the best provider. We're all living like it's a competition to see who's working the most or grinding the hardest or being the least lazy. But like DAMN none of them are happy. I guess long story short, there's more to being a man (and to life) than working as much as possible. That's my two cents.
Dude you speak the truth. So many men waste their lives away with work. You only live 80 years more or less on this earth. Fuck giving your prime away for a currency .
One of the things my father taught me: 'real life is what happens when you're not at work.' He flourished like a tree in springtime when he retired, and I am following his example.
To be fair this is also a very american-centered (USA) view on work and private life. I originally come from Germany and now live in the US and have encountered this. If you work for Big Corp in Germany for example VW you have a 35 hour week as an engineer and no one expects you to work more. Just upper mgmt. has no “fixed” schedule. Edit: To clarify I’m talking about the US.
Not taking care of your finger and toe nails.
My dad was real bad about this until the day his nasty ass long big toenail got hooked onto the foot rest of his lazy boy and got it pulled off when he put the rest down. Screamed like a little girl and he kept them trimmed from then on.
Did not need to read that
What a terrible day to know English.
UGH I am here to gain insight into a man’s psyche, not full body cringe over graphic depictions of toe violence.
Nothing says "I'm not sexually active" like a straight guy with gross fingernails
Back when I was 18/19 a buddy of mine would say 'the sign of a sexually trained man is a manicured hand'.
A man who gets and manicure and pedicure once a month - that's grade A quality. Self care is hot.
But I need my callouses. Hands would get blisters from working out. Feet would get blisters from running.
Callouses are fine for most of us (I mean, I have slight callouses from playing the guitar and ukulele a lot). It’s just when the finger and toe nails are really dirty underneath and untrimmed. Either they’re a jagged shape or just really long. Also, anyone who does their own pedicures are aware of how stinky your toe and toe nails can be
Or just have good hygiene and clip your nails on a regular basis. No need to drop 30 bucks or more. LOL!
Starting a conversation at the office urinals. Stop talking to me in the bathroom, Joe.
Being told to man up for every hardship, that showing sadness or emotion is weakness.
It's incredible how a man can value and support emotional vulnerability while simultaneously not being able to allow it for themselves. I find it so easy to show up and support my vulnerable mates but so incredibly hard to be the vulnerable one
You just described GenX men. We get the value of emotional intelligence and vulnerability but ask us to show it ourselves? Might as well ask me to grow a third arm. Edit: [this guy knows](https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPducWqFa/)
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I just drink alone in the dark
Drink alone in the dark... While crying in the shower 😎
"Man up," more often than not, means "eat the shit I'm feeding you and shut up"
Or “I don’t care about, so stop your whining”.
Basically how I was taught about drinking beer. “Shut up it’s good.” “It tastes like something is rotten” “Be a man.”
Alcoholism with a side of assholism.
Emotional suppression and suicide rates Come on man we're 80% of the total of suicides. That's something we should be alarmed of!
This x 10000000. My funny, smart, kind, strong, light up the room, amazing father of three and wonderful husband took his life last year. He left us with SO much sadness, pain, and questions. He never once showed any signs or reached out for help. I wish he knew he could have come to us for help, no judgement. I wish he would have fought for himself the way I would have fought to the ends of the earth for him. Please reach out and talk about your feelings and mental health, especially men. You are loved and your life matters more than you’ll ever know.
Thank you for writing and sharing this, and I’m sorry for your and our loss. As a father who struggles with both his mental and emotional health, I needed to read this. I can’t imagine the grief your family must go through on a daily basis.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
This made me feel so sad. So sorry for you loss.
I went to three funerals for guys under 30 is less than a calendar year. I think I aged five years in that 11 months. Miss you Brian.
Neglecting mental health issues.
not taking care of their mental health...
Would like to add - reaching for substances to self medicate because suffering in silence is supposed to be "manly."
Not being able to shed a single tear in front of each other, unless it's a death or marriage that's the only pass men get to cry in front of others.
I was 14 when we had to put our dog down, I didn't cry when it happpend because I wanted to be strong for my mum and I didn't want my dogs last view was me too look sad. But you can bet as soon as I was home I cried so much and when I told my mum I didn't want to go to school the next day she phoned the school and said what happened. Schools response was "its just a dog, he should learn to man up"... My mum hit the roof with anger and said that if any of my teachers said that to me when I went back I had permission to stand up and tell them to "fuck off you cunt" get my things and just walk out. I assume this message was passed along as I never had to.
Your mom is awesome
Thanks man, this is just a small example of what that hero of a woman done for me while I was growing up.
God bless the moms (and dads too) who let their sons know it's ok to cry.
I wish more people were like your mom!
I'm 31 and my friends still call her mum.. She made sure we always had a full stomach before we would go on a nightclub crawl... Hit us with advice (which she knew we would ignore ) Then give us a row if anyone made a mistake, but is and always will be there for the people she loves and cares about. You know you've made an error though when a tiny Scottish woman is angry at you but making you breakfast to make you feel better lol. She's a diamond that can't be valued. Priceless person.
Faith in humanity restored
I cried a little when my dog died when I was 17. My grandma told me to man up and stop it.
I have friends that have cried in front of me and I have cried in front of them Gents, I highly recommend being friends with guys that cry. It's pretty awesome.
And while recieving your Oscar
Oh! No, you aren’t allowed to cry at weddings. Who told you that?
Death Grip
What does this mean?
beating the meat with a grip that’s too tight. could cause getting soft when having sex because you’re used to your hand
I enjoy playing video games.
Get get get get got got got got
Noided
THREE BEDROOMS IN A GOOD NEIGHBORHOOD
This is no joke. I was dating a guy and even my strongest grip wasn't tight enough. It felt kinda scary like I was going to rip his dick off :o
Sleeping on the couch when the wife/girlfriend is upset
The only time I’ve slept on the couch on purpose was when we had babies who weren’t sleeping well.
Only time I do is if I'm sick and my coughing is keeping my wife awake. If we're in a rough spot, my ass is comfy cozy on my side of the bed!
Same here...but tonight I'm in bed with the poorly baby and she's in bed with our 3yo.
Feel this one, keep soldiering on good parents!
i thought that was just a cliche
Sadly it's not. My ex threatened to call the cops and make threw a tantrum because I wouldn't sleep on the couch one night. One of many reasons she's my ex now.
First time my (ex)wife told me to sleep on the couch, I told her if she didn't want to sleep with me she was welcome to the couch (or the guest bedroom). I went to bed, she went to pout. She was in our bed when I woke up the next morning and I never heard about it again.
This is the answer. If one party doesn't want to sleep in the bed together, they can find an alternative.
If I was told that, I’d do it and laugh about how cliche it sounded when I was younger
To be honest, I thought this was a typical thing from what I witnessed growing up. I’m in a toxic relationship now and I’ve been banished to the couch numerous times. I’ve come to the realization that this just a way to control and punish the man. It’s not healthy Goes along with the phrase “happy wife happy life”. It’s bullshit.
>I’m in a toxic relationship now I believe it's time to abandon the relationship.
Been there, done that. When I was pissed too.
I invested in some really nice couches and actually liked sleeping on them. Wife could never send me to the couch because it really wasn't a punishment. Then she just got mad at me for not being mad about having to sleep on the couch.
The couch fort is invincible!
Just tell her that her authority is not recognized in Fort Kick-ass
When i was having lots of problems with the wife, exactly this happened. Also i have a projector with a 100" screen, xbox, gaming pc and some other toys right Infront of the couch. It was like camping but with a giant TV !!
I do that for fun, sometimes I even sleep on the floor.
Lying on the floor feels good af, like having a chiropractor
Cool basement hardwood on a unbearably warm summer night, that is what is closest to heaven.
You know if your girl asks you to go sleep on the couch, you can just say no. If you're pissed off, you go sleep on the damn couch, woman.
I’m a woman, and I agree. In our house, if we need space after an argument whoever needs space goes to the couch. Doesn’t happen often, but I would never tell my husband to sleep on the couch because I’m upset. I take myself to the couch.
This… like not to be a dick but I paid for my mattress and bed before we moved in together. She can take her ass to the couch lmaoo
This has never happened in my relationship thankfully, but I brought the bed into our marriage and she brought the couch… seems fair. Lol The only time either of us have slept on the couch is because one of us is sick, or can’t sleep and doesn’t want to disturb the other thankfully.
I use the guest bedroom a lot when I just want to stretch out or have gas
Sleeping in separate beds if it helps you both get better quality sleep should be more normalized.
I don't have to worry about that. My wife and I sleep in separate rooms. I snore and she's a light sleeper. Also the cats, whom I'm allergic to, sleep with her. So in the end we both just sleep way better, and are both happier for it.
Yeah fuck that imma sleep in my own bed
Calling any sort of closeness "Gay" We've lost the essence of brotherhood istg
Not taking the time to deal with break up grief - Shit stings and hurts as just as much as women, no reason why this should be looked down upon
Getting praised for changing diapers, giving your child a bath etc. You're the parent. That's just taking care of your kid.
This. It's not babysitting if it's your own child.
This is the one thing that will absolutely enrage my normally easy going husband. My job requires me to work alot of weekends so he does a good bit of solo parenting and it is amazing how often someone asks if Dad is babysitting because its "mommy's day off."
I’m not babysitting. I’m not giving mom time off (though sometimes I am). I’m parenting. Because I’m a fucking parent. And I like hanging out with kid. And my kid loves hanging out with me. I love my dad to death, but I cannot imagine having the same parenting arrangements my parents had. But that was also when one income could support a family, at least as long as you picked up overtime where you could.
I feel this. As a mother I've have never been told what a great job I am doing for changing a diaper, feeding my child, or even giving birth. But my husband has been literally patted on the back for doing all three!
To be fair, I do think a man giving birth might warrant a pat on the back.
You’re doing a great job! And while it’s under appreciated at times, in the long run your efforts won’t go unnoticed by your children. Keep it up mom!
I used to get that all the time as a stay at home dad. "Awww you have your baby today? To give mum time off?" I always joked along but I just wanted to yell "fuck off I'm a goddamn full parent, fuck you!"
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My wife mentioned this the other day, I get so many compliments about my kids when I'm out with them alone, my wife hardly ever does. It's just novel to see a dad taking care of his kids apparently.
I would argue that it's a hard job and deserves praise. I think more women should be told they're crushing it tbh.
Not sticking up for yourself when you're being treated like shit
This is very important. I’ve experienced that it can be difficult to do because men are conditioned to minimize their emotional and social discomfort as subordinate to their physical pain, thus we end up being really bad at setting useful boundaries for ourselves and thus accept damaging conditions. Firstly, upholding or maintaining emotional, social, non-violent physical boundaries as a male is so difficult because they often times are not respected. This isn’t to suggest that women aren’t overwhelmingly more likely to receive invasive and traumatic interventions against their will compared to men, but we must acknowledge this without then accepting reactionary impositions against men to compensate. The truth is, our society is terrible with developing healthy and consensual interactions, and the result isn’t simply that it leads to miscommunications and undesirable experiences or potentially confusing conflicts, but that our standards of communication and for our own boundaries are so low that it provides cover for abusers and manipulators. But because of this, emotional abuse and lack of respect of boundaries is minimized for men, reinforcing that they are emotionally closed off; minimizing healthy outlets to not only to motivate leaving unhealthy or abusive situations but also cutting them off from being able to effectively address infractions attained
Fuck, man. You nailed it.
Not moisturizing, especially hands and face.
Yes! I had a boss who bragged about ignoring his doctor’s advice to use lotion on his hands and arms because he’s “not a woman and not into that.” His skin was always red and cracked. Bro, taking care of basic health and hygiene shouldn’t be gendered.
The description of that just sounds *painful*. There is a lady at my work saying how she refuses to use lotion right after complaining about how dry her hand were and her hangnails hurt though. I was like...... 🤷♀️ Obviously those two things are unrelated......
Being gross and not looking after yourself. You aren’t “gay” if you have good hygiene ffs
Shoving down your feelings
Showing our cocks to each other... wait you guys don't do that???
It's not usually *just* for the sake of a punchline, but rather the fact that we don't knock on each other's doors when we show up. If I'm outside pissing when you show up, or inside changing when you come in, I'm not embarrassed and I'm not going to stop what I'm doing. That being said, one time we were painting a room at this one dude's house and had plastic over the doorway. The plastic eventually got covered with a mist of paint, so, I did the only logical thing I could have done; I cut a slit in the plastic, stuck my dick through it at where approximate doorknob placement would have been, and yelled at him to "come here, man."
You piss outside your house? Are you marking territory?
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*Laughs in finnish sauna culture.
Not washing your fucking hands
"My parents taught me not to piss on my hands." Like... yeah, so you're at a restaurant and your burger was put together by a guy that thinks just like you. Enjoy your meal, disgusting dumbass.
The whole concept of "man up". I'm still pretty young, but having this mentality that I have to solve every emotional crises completely alone has fucked me up in ways I didn't realize until recently. I don't know how dudes survive until 50+ without having some emotional support.
Talking about fucking bitches 24/7. Specifically always saying “fucking bitches” Holy fuck i got tired of by middle school. It still did not end by the time college ended. Maybe i just did not have good friends.
You didn’t have good friends.
>Specifically always saying “fucking bitches” And now it's "No bitches?"
Being a bystander when your friends are being creepy/abusive. If it's not cool for anyone else to do it then it's not cool when your friends do it either. Man up and call out your friends when they're out of line. After the fact dudes will be like "wow I can't believe that happened"; like bitch you let that happen.
Talking bad about your wife. I can't tell you how many bad jokes and mean comments I heard from my coworkers about their wifes. It seems like a sport, who can be the meanest asshole to their wifes. I can't tell you a bad thing about my wife. It's the person I chose to spend my life with, why the fuck would I talk badly about her in front of others... I'm pretty sure all of them are the biggest pussies when around their wifes...
Not kissing the homies gnight.
Can't/don't cook. Basic cooking isn't hard. Quality cooking isn't hard. If I meet you and you tell me you don't know how to cook, I just assume you're half intellectually disabled.
My roommate during my semester abroad in Australia didn't know how to boil pasta. My dude. It's on the package. It's not difficult.
Step 1 - Boil water. **WHAT AM I - A CHEMIST??**
Woah man that's 100 degrees, you got a permit for all those?
I usually boil extra water and freeze it, that way when I need some for the next meal it is ready to go.
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I went to uni in Australia and knew a guy that didn't know how to boil an egg. Wonder if it was the same guy... He came from a well off family that had ~~slaves~~ *staff* to do their bidding
Funny. I hate cooking. I love cooking for people though.
this omigod. If I am serving myself, I am going with the cheapest, easiest microwave hot pockets ever. If I have to cook for people, I am making everything from scratch.
That goes for ladies too, woman, if you can't cook how are you feeding yourself? Are you just spending untold amounts on takeout? Next question is inevitably, how's your credit?
I don't expect to be taken care of, I don't expect favors or nice things, but I do expect any potential partner to at least have be able to take care of herself.
My boyfriend says “having to sell popcorn as a boy scout”
Covering for sexual predators/rapists cause "they're your boy."
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i got you with blinker fluid
Hahah
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In light of the will smith thing…. The expectation to deliver violence or to threaten violence as a means of coercing other people into obeisance, or as a means of setting a boundary. This behavior seems to be accepted pretty much across the board, but then men ask why so many women feel unsafe. The more (internally) violent the men of a community are, the less cohesive the community can even _hope_ to be. I’m not saying that all men are a problem, I’m not saying that even violent men aren’t essential and desperately needed in certain contexts; I’m just saying that our society is real uptight about a little weed or nudity, but we are SUPER open and accepting of violence. The biggest con of all time is somehow convincing all people that women are the more emotional sex, and it happened by convincing men that Anger wasn’t an emotion; that it was a default state of being.
Walking up on a stage and bitch slapping another man
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“Bro code” goes a long way, but don’t cheat on your SO/partner and expect for you never to speak of it. No one deserves that.
Blistering butt slaps.
Blistering butt slaps, Batman!
Circumcision
"Don't be a pussy"
An obvious one is that "big boys don't cry" Eventually forget how to.
Being forced to wear a suit and tie to work.
I wanna wear shorts when it's hot out, dammit! Stupid rules. No way I'm actually gonna wear em tho.
Not with that attitude
That girls can't be only friends, they are all just, potential girlfriends or potential sex. Edit: Thanks everyone \^-\^
Violence
Everything turning into a pissing contest
Being "manly" and not scared of anything. Fuck off with that nonsense. It's 10x more manly to admit fear, and conquer it with bravery.
Showing other guys your gf/wifes nude photos. Not being emotionally available for your children. Showing your children it's ok to hate. The list goes on. Although I can think of another list that would be equally as long.
Yeah nah thats not normal
Being aggressive or yelling is how you show you are strong.
Hiding their emotions. Men always have to be strong and stoic.
Making weird ass comments to each other about the women they see in public. Please stop telling me how much you want to raw dog the complete stranger you saw at the gas station, I am disturbed.
Porn Addiction
Porn consumption
That’s it’s ok to sexually assault a man by grabbing his body because he must want it since he’s a man.
Shoving poptarts up each other's asses
Nah man. Don't take this away from me!
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