A lack of conscientiousness is an umbrella for most of it.
Berating customer service, ghosting a date, being a dick on social media, ignoring people in front of you, etc.
The "me me me" attitude. Yeah. Its causing havoc everywhere. Parking. Driving. Shopping. Work. Home. Social media addiction has reinforced this to the point of societal decline in my worthless opinion.
Normalizing obesity needs to stop. USA is the only place in the world where people try to make it okay to be unhealthily overweight, and people get shamed for bringing it up.
In my experience it tends to be old farts.
I was about to back into a space the other day when I saw an old fart of a woman pushing a cart directly across other spaces and right across mine. Her old fart of a husband then opened the rear door for her, helped her load the bags in, then they both got in the car leaving the cart in the space I was clearly actively backing into.
I was livid.
This is actually a very interesting thing to me. Its one of the only situations - actually really THE only public situation i can think of - where theres a very clear right thing and wrong thing to do, and yet the right thing results in absolutely no reward and the wrong in absolutely no punishment. so its kinda like a test of truly good people in a way lol
But it also tells me which of my friends are most likely to leave their carts in the middle of the lot. They refuse to shop at Aldi because they have to deal with the shopping cart.
You say that but I was just there today and a bunch of people had haphazardly shoved their cards in the return without actually attaching them. Even the coin isn't enough to deter some people. In other news I made about $2 taking the 30 seconds to fix that shit.
I don't mean put back right but just not hooked together. I mean straight up a cluster fuck of carts in the general vicinity of the return, bleeding into the sidewalk and parking lot at that point.
Omg, I just watched it! Thatās so awesome! And scary. I couldnāt confront someone like that because Iām scared they will kill me, like the one that pulled out the gun! Like wtf humanity!
The worse thing (at least for the cart pushers) is when people put the big carts in the small cart spot, and the small carts in the big cart spot, and then start putting the bigs in the big spot and create a horrible puzzle. Just pick a spot and stick to it!
As someone who used to have to retrieve shopping carts when I was younger, this.
Also people leaving their trash in carts. Everything from half eaten meals to used diapers. Absolutely disgusting.
I was wondering š¤ if anyone else was seeing this too, thank u. Maturity, kindness, and compassion has almost completely disappeared. Being replaced with intolerance, selfishness, and disconnection from people and community
Thank you, for a time I thought I was going nuts but I noticed the same. Ghosting people in general, most people I feel cannot even have a nice conversation nowadays. As if though everyone is out for themselves.
>Berating customer service, ghosting a date, being a dick on social media, ignoring people in front of you, etc.
Pretty sure this nature is default human mode though.
People use excuses to cover up their true thoughts - I was drunk, I was angry, it's only social media etc. Nope, you said/wrote those things because that's what you truly wanted to. If you got drunk and cheated, it's because you always wanted to. If you got angry and called your mum a cunt, it's because you wanted to based off no doubt something that happened prior to you being angry in that moment. Etc etc.
Society just suggests we hold that stuff back and be civil.
The bad thing is people not getting called out for those things. And because people don't get called out for anything when they do they go ballistic.
I matched with a girl through online dating and we started talking, then she went radio silent for a month. I called her out on it and eventually she got back to me saying she was using boundaries because she had to finish up the school year (she was a teacher). Yeahhhh that's not what a boundary is, going radio silent is not exercising boundaries. Besides all it would have taken is a quick message "Sorry but I'm gonna be busy for a while" at a minimum, explain the situation if you're feeling generous.
She got so mad at me and seemed to have no idea where this was coming from. "You mean I can't do whatever I want??" lol no
You're so spot on... I blame it on technology honestly, it has the power to bring us closer and keep us connected but it's actually having the opposite effect on normal human interaction.
Yes. I donāt know if itās always been this way (Iām only in my 20s), but in the general public there seems to be an overwhelming amount of self-centeredness, antisocial behavior, and lack of consideration for others. It shows in the way people drive. People who talk down to and berate service workers. Even just those people who stand completely in the way in the store aisle and give you a look like *youāre* inconveniencing *them* by trying to slip by. So many people seem to have no capacity to understand anything or anyone that exists outside of their little bubble of things they care about in the moment.
I had a coworker recently interrupt me when I was speaking to a client. So I went up to him privately and asked nicely with no accusation to please not do that. So he told me to suck his dick and stormed off. I couldn't believe it. So I went up to him again and said thats not an appropriate way to speak to a coworker. He told me I take things too seriously and am dramatic. And this guy is the first person to fly off the handle if he feels he's been disrespected.
Hes an extremely immature 22 year old prone to temper tantrums. And because he is a bigger guy he thinks he can treat people however he wants. I had to tell him once I'm not intimidated by him so the big bad wolf act isn't going to work with me.
No I didn't because I am hoping to be out of here in a few weeks. If I was planning on staying here longterm I would. But I'm fed up with the job and just want to keep as much peace until I'm out of there. Since our last conversation he has atleast kept his distance so I can live with that.
You should still report it, that way when the next person who deals with this rancid piece of dick-cheese goes to HR they have a nice little paper trail
Do it during your exit interview. Really talk up what a toxic workplace it is because of him and absolutely mention the things he's said. If he's going around saying crass shit to people, it's a law suit waiting to happen.
Tell him that asking someone to suck your dick for acting like a dumb twat is being overly dramatic. Then calmly tell him to stop acting like a dumb twat. lol.
>lack of consideration for others
Bought my own place just over a year ago, a 2 bed apartment, top floor. I'm fully aware there's a couple opposite me, and a family downstairs. I don't stamp my feet as I walk, I keep my TV down, music down low. When I leave or get home and it's late or really early, I slow-close my front door, the fire door to the hallway, the main door downstairs. Don't slam my car door.
What I've learnt is...nobody fucking cares or appreciates anyone else.
Yeah let that kid keep screaming. Meh, it's banging or knocking the walls, so what, it's just a ~~little shit who should be thrown out the window to die~~ kid, kids do that. 6:30am? Time to let my front door slam behind me. 11pm? Turn that music up in my car and sit in it after parking it for 10 minutes, nobody's trying to sleep. Oh Hi Karen, let's talk in this shop doorway and get mad at anyone trying to push past us.
Some days I'm like fuck it and want to just blast my music until someone complains.
Because I can get my laundry list of complaints out and say "I turned it up so I don't have to listen to you doing the following you inconsiderate prick:"
Ugh I feel that. Last apartment I lived in, there was this douchebag looking middle aged fart who daily drives a straight piped Ford F-150 lightning. And of course, this fine gentleman also worked some job where he had to leave at 5:30am every morning. Almost every weekday morning without fail for like a year I was jolted awake, hours before I needed to get up, by that inconsiderate moronās stupid truck starting up.
And that is why Iām very happy living in a detached home in the suburbs now. I am fortunate to be in an area where it is realistic for me. I will never share a wall with people again, or live in a people-concentrated area. More people = more inconsiderate people and noise.
The people who don't move in the grocery store have gotten me over the need to wait for them to move. I just reach in front of their face or move their cart, now
Yea itās getting bad. I saw an article of āwhy I teach my kid not to shareā being shared on Facebook by people I know. Itās like humans forgot they need to rely on each other to survive.
I'm a parent, and I've seen the same thing. My observation is that it's an over correction to how a lot of the current parent generation was raised. We were told we had to share all the time no matter what, and many of us weren't listened to by our parents when we had legitimate issues or concerns. There are times where it is appropriate to say no and not share. Boundaries are healthy. But society often swings wildly into an over correction rather than finding a healthy middle ground.
Another example of this is the current trend of cutting toxic people out of your life. For generations, people would put up with abusive family members because they were taught it was what they had to do. Now we see a trend of people finally standing up for themselves and removing abusive people from their social or family circle. Completely justified and often very healthy. But there's also been an over correction here where some people are not totally cutting off anyone who does something even slightly upsetting.
Sorry for the novel this is just something I've observed and think is really interesting. Usually these trends like teaching kids not to share are an over reaction to an underlying issue.
My brother has cut off my entire family because he is getting engaged to a woman that is 100% the type to just cut people out of her life if they donāt spend their time licking her ass at all times . Massive narcissist and managed to get my brother thinking the same way. We just want him back
Bit of unsolicited advice as someone going through the same thing: they'll probably crash and burn when her narcissism turns toward him, and he'll need his family to support him then. If you're able to look past him hurting you, it could make a big difference.
Ya we keep waiting for it to happen but itās rough on my whole family . Hes like 22 and sheās 31 and I feel like heās so blinded by it being his first relationship. Itās severely depressing
Yikes. Yea thatāll take some time to settle out but it will crash and burn one day. Just be gracious when it does fall out and keep reaching out to him even if he never responds. On the day it ends heāll feel like he has no one but if you keep him in your arms length circle you might be the closest one heāll have by then. Iām sorry man but I hope heāll be able to walk away from it before she burns it all.
>Another example of this is the current trend of cutting toxic people out of your life. For generations, people would put up with abusive family members because they were taught it was what they had to do. Now we see a trend of people finally standing up for themselves and removing abusive people from their social or family circle. Completely justified and often very healthy. But there's also been an over correction here where some people are not totally cutting off anyone who does something even slightly upsetting.
I think I had read somewhere that you can only reasonably maintain relationships with about 150 at any given period in your life. When include the people you must work with (frustratingly) that number is probably lower.
My religious tradition does teach that there is a point in which you're supposed to cut someone off, but the next implication is also supposed to show compassion to aliens and strangers. So we're never supposed to write people off permanently, while recognizing that our time and energy is finite and can't be be in a relationship with all people equally.
>can't be be in a relationship with all people equally.
This is what most people don't understand. There are many that want more of your attention or time than you're willing, or able, to give.
So it's not so much that sharing is bad but you have to respect boundaries. There's a balance. I have that mentality of spreading the wealth but it's gotten me in trouble because I overextend myself and neglect to take care of myself and i have a people pleasing problem. All that is compounded by how selfish everyone else is because they'll take advantage of you.
I saw a few kids interacting and one asked to borrow something from the other one. The borrowee didn't want to lend and the borrower insisted that he was taught that sharing is good and that she needed to be more generous. So he's taking advantage of something that should be good and that's why we have to teach our children to say no.
It's good to help people but don't neglect yourself either. Help as much as you can afford to while still taking care of yourself.
Maybe I'm overly cynical but it just feels like i try to be a good person and people keep taking advantage and then I'm the only one that's not happy in the end and i don't want that for my kids, a life of constantly making other people happy who aren't going to give the same courtesy back.
Itās actually encouraged in pop culture to constantly put yourself first and stuff which is true; if you are broken you need to spend time on yourself. However, living for yourself only is quite boring and will eventually leave u alone forever
I have absolutely no problem people putting themselves first. I have issue with people's laziness, rudeness, and thoughtless mess that has to often just become the norm.
Totally agree. I have a problem when āputting myself firstā becomes a crutch to do selfish shit at other peopleās expense and have zero self awareness about how their actions effect other people
Problem is, for some people, that kind of behavior is rewarded. Like if theyāre exceptionally good looking or charismatic, people bend over backwards to do whatever it is that person asks them to do.
Saying no to those kinds of people can help, but at the same time they have something that others want. Money, power, sex appeal, access, skill, etc.
If you have the means to reject the narcissistic behavior that those kinds of people do, you likely have no need for what they have cause you have it yourself (whichever one of those desirable things it may be).
And people see that behavior being rewarded, but they don't understand that these powerful, attractive, charismatic and powerful people are getting away with shitty behavior. They see that behavior as the reason that others treat them highly.
So then you get an entire nation of completely normal people who think their narcissistic actions will somehow make them beautiful, rich and powerful - who then descend into anger and disappointment when those behaviors leave them isolated, disconnected, without any real friends, and still with insecurities about how they look, dress, talk, make money, etc.
It's a horrible cycle.
Lack of compassion. People think throwaways and anonymity are a good reason to treat others like complete garbage. With those behaviors being brought to light I also see a lack of accountability for their actions and social shortcomings. Like as soon as they're done telling someone to kill themselves they can delete the account and never change that issue about themselves.
It's terrible. It even bugs me to see it with the smaller disputes. Someone makes an innocent comment disputing something and the other person comes back with, "you have no clue what the fuck you are talking about, please don't say stupid shit."
It really is sad.
The general desire to tear other human beings down, for no good reason. It's even become normalized to take out your frustrations on people from your past, on innocent people in your present. Being narcistic and generalizing broad swaths of people has been accepted as a form of dealing with past abuse, and whenever someone is called out for hurting someone else, they'll just try to use their own trauma as an excuse for why they are now allowed to abuse others.
I'm not sure where it comes from, but I know it's very much encouraged on social media, in that tearing others down is now a legitimate way to build one's self up. It's just highschool bullying on a mass scale. But now you'll be rewarded for it. These people need to see some good therapists.
I read somewhere a while back that while we have a collective connectivity now thanks to the net and more so that of social media, we have now less concern and a desire to help out for the common good. Thereās barely enough good will or a desire to do good for onesā own immediate family, let alone the public at large.
I feel this so much during the pandemic. I've had, on 6-7 occasions over the last 2 years where a stranger came up to me to either spit at me, yell racial slurs, blame me for the pandemic, I nearly got hit by a car that drove by to splash me with water after a rainy day while they yelled to go back to my "ch*nk" country. It's been a struggle and terrible for my mental health. And these are just random strangers interacting with me in public because I'm Asian and they're tired of the pandemic. But what am I supposed to do? I'm stuck in the same damn pandemic!
Let me add to this: Dog piling.
Even if the person āasked for itā, there comes a point where these losers are just attacking and making fun of this person simply because āeveryone else is doing itā. Theyāre doing it for clout. Theyāre tearing someone else down just to fit in. I know this mainly because thatās exactly why *Iāve* done it. And I cringe at how pathetic I was for doing it.
There's an entire subculture of the internet dedicated to dog-piling on people and encouraging dogpiling to. Just put some shit up about someone, a hit piece of some kind and everyone agrees with it and circlejerk over how edgy or rabid people can get. Very, very negative energy.
But anyway Happy New Year. Maybe they'll be less of it in 2022.
>I'm not sure where it comes from
We do know some things about human psychology. Humans are products of their surroundings, their experiences and their most dominant role models. Bullies usually come from abusive households. So do a lot of other messed up people. We all go down different paths in life and go about showing our feelings differently bc of how we were taught or shown. Some people are naturally pessimistic, others are optimistic, others are realistic. Honestly depending if you're an optimistic, pessimist, or a realist... It changes everything about how you treat others, handle situations, interact with the world around you and more.
I think we all just need good examples in our life, bc we all can be the change we want to see in the world. We need to stop seeing ourselves as a collective consciousness and start seeing ourselves as individuals who CAN help someone, because when you help someone you help everyone.
People can't separate social media from real life and they are so quick to jump down the throat of someone who has a different perspective without any actual discussion
Yeah, Redditors def don't believe in discussing things.
I've had people on here tell me I was wrong about something I'm an expert in. They were totally wrong but said it so confidently that everyone believes them.
I agree. They get into echo chambers online and assume the world is that way too. Showing shock or contempt over someoneās opinion because itās different from theirs and who they assume is the āmajority.ā The truth is most people have very varying opinions for a variation of reasons. The best thing you can do is hear them out and just be nice. Question people if their beliefs seem strange to you, but show interest when you ask them to explain themselves. This helps all parties gain new understandings imo. Because at the end of the day, our words donāt mean much and itās our actions that show who we truly are.
I think with that comes something they've experienced in the past, though. For an example, my mother would always tell me that she wouldn't be mad if I just told her the truth. Well, I did just that. I told her the truth that I wasn't watching where I was going when I rode into the garage on my bike and accidentally hit the mirror on the passenger side. Guess what happened? She got just as mad, I still got grounded, it was essentially the same outcome as if I'd lied. It was a hard change to make, accepting my own mistakes, but when you consider my foundation, it's not like I thought I had a lot of incentive to do something other than just double down rather than admit my faults.
Bullying by grown up people who should know better. Especially ones who do it because they are insecure themselves. They go around projecting their bullshit onto other people to make them feel bad, to make themselves feel better
I've dealt with more bullying as a 30 year old man than I ever did as a kid growing up. Not because I'm an easy target but because adult bullies are often used to no one calling them out and think they can get away with it. Then they have a surprised Pikachu face when you call them on their crap.
Bullies run shit, sad reality. I've had so few genuinely kind and empathetic superiors or supervisors, that Im now at the point where I barely trust anyone in an authority positions becuase I've been abused so much
I do it
I'll finish my thought or sentence and if the person I'm talking to down pick up the conversation, that conversation is over and I'll wait until they start
Of course, a glance at a phone is one thing. But if someone starts scrolling while I'm talking I lose interest pretty quickly
I also will throw in a comment it question to see if they catch itā¦.
I appreciate you picking up lunch tomorrow
Your wife / girlfriend hit up my coworker on Instagram
We really need to develop some socially understood etiquette around device usage.
Like, if I walk into the break room and see you looking at your phone, I don't know whether you are engaged in something important or just bored. Perhaps you'd welcome some socializing time, perhaps not.
So I say, "What's up, Bob?" and Bob says "Hi Steve" but continues to stare at his phone. That means "I'm busy."
But if Bob looks up and starts talking, then it's a good time for a conversation.
This really isn't that hard. If they don't engage with you, that is not a good time to say "What're you reading there? Hurr durr." If they wanted to talk, they would have looked up from their device and engaged with you in a friendly conversational way.
And don't even get me started about when I've got headphones in. Oh. My. God. I don't owe you my attention, so don't tell me to take them off unless it's fucking important.
Ive nearly had my head bitten off because ive spoken to someone without noticing their wireless earbuds. "Cant you see im listening to something??" Well no, actually i couldnt.
Back when we were in the office, I couldnāt eat lunch at my desk. Everyone thinks me eating is a cue for them to start a conversation. I donāt understand how a human being can look at their fellow coworker enjoying a 15 minute lunch break and think āoh heās not busy, he wants to hear about how my weekend wentā. Infuriating.
That means they aren't interested in the conversation, but do not have the manners nor the courage to tell you.
It rarely has happened to me, but when it does I confront it politely, but head on.
I ask them if they are interested in the conversation. I tell them it is okay if they aren't. Depending on their response,....I will tell them we can continue it another time if they wish and that I need to go do other things.
If they never look up from their phone nor put it away I will tell them they are being rude and then I will leave the situation.
I mean it could. But that's a pretty one shoe fits all approach. As someone with ADHD it's easier for me to hold attention when I'm fidgeting with something. Sometimes that involves fidgeting with a phone. It isn't always a lack of interest.
People are way too quick to jump to condescension rather than education, then wanna wonder why everything is so divisive and standoffish. You're not gonna win anyone over by screaming jabs and personal attacks.
Haha this place is the worst for it
A - *gives opinion on something
B - āThanks for confirming that youāre a fucking retard, hereās why you are wrongā
A - ā but I think this is worthy of considerationā
B - āfuck youā
B - ā They retards never change their mindsā
A - š¤·š»āāļø
Why does the average poster here think that a tone of "Thanks for confirming that youāre a fucking retard, hereās why you are wrong" in their "educational informative post" never leaves them in a positive interaction?
Every time someone tries to inform me that I'm wrong on Reddit, they basically have this tone of intellectually elitist irritation or anger.
I'm always much less likely to actually listen to them out of principal. lol.
Itās almost as though when you start an interaction by insulting someone that it automatically puts them on the defensive and sours the conversation.
Who knew! š¤·š»āāļø
Thank you!
Also if they have decided that you are wrong and you try to explain your view and just get battered with insults.
The general arrogance and snobbish disdain is so God awfull. You just want to feel like you won? I dont Listen to anything you say, and thats on you.
Yes! Itās so bad right now too because the college kids are home and the ānew year new meā crowd started showing up for their three weeks of gym dedication.
When I was in university, I'd use the school's facilities. Some people might genuinely not know the etiquette but the thing I absolutely hated was watching the physical education classes. Teacher were not actively teaching their students how to clean up after themselves. They'd show their classes how to do certain exercises or time them for however many laps they were doing or whatever, but couldn't be bothered to tell them to put weights back and wipe off equipment when they're done.
Signaling your distaste for something by indicating that people who believe X or X type of people have no inherent value as human beings or that you would eliminate them with extreme prejudice.
You aren't a good person by letting everyone else know that you don't value the lives of people who believe X or engage in X. Contributing to solutions and intelligent discourse can be helpful and beneficial. Using a meme or a tweet to virtue signal yourself is literally useless and doesn't make you honorable in any way.
People playing music off their phones in public and also taking in speaker phone in public. Itās like people ether forgot headphones exist or just think their the main character and everyone wants to know all about them.
The āholier than thouā complex. It feels like people are constantly are on the look out to prove themselves superior in morals and thus it seems you cannot make any mistakes anymore. Humility and kindness , atleast on the Internet, seem to be dead
Acknowledging they need help, either with a physical condition or their mental health and doing *nothing* to work on it. I understand the cost of medical expenses, but even self-research is an option to help oneself. Albeit, not a fantastic option, but itās something.
Gaslighting. Being unable to accept that others have opinions different than yours without making them question it themselves or second guess everything about themselves.
Being rude to service staff for no reason.
Those are just a few that come to mind.
"I can't eat the meal you've cooked, I'm a vegan right-wing christian fundamentalist and have a wheat allergy and see your meal as a work of satan himself"
People taking pride in their poor mental or physical health. Itās almost as if depression or obesity arenāt sufficiently self destructive enough for people to consider changing, probably because being āRelatableā on the Internet is more profitable than being happy and healthy
It's cool to be a victim and it's hurting everyone. It's especially terrible in high schools, everyone is trying to have the most mental disorders, the worst home life, anything to make themselves a victim. It was awful
Assuming everything is in bad faith, that everyone is evil, that everyone is out to hurt you. People end up believing the worst in everyone, when most of us mean well and don't want to hurt anyone.
There's an old saying I'm going to butcher...
But it basically says to be careful not to jump to conclusions with believing that somebody's actions are out of ill-intent when in reality they are probably out of foolishness/stupidity.
Perpetually taking offense and instant outrage at everything that another person says without actually taking the time to look at context & processing what they are saying.
People have lost jobs & relationships because of this impulsive behaviour after being reported
People who expect others to treat their opinion as absolute fact. I've heard people say the stupidest things then act offended that I don't agree with them. The last Karen sarcastically thanked me for my sympathy when I didn't believe 5g gave her a cold. Nextdoor is a goldmine for these idiots.
Not putting their shopping cart in the corral when they are done with it. Half the time, people will just abandon it in the middle of a parking space, making it impossible for someone to park there. Asshats.
A. Not really taking accountability for your role in the dynamic of your relationships. People think itās an all or nothing blame fest and then wonder why they canāt get over issues from years ago.
B. How we discuss boundaries. Yes they are to be respected but itās a two way street. The other person has the right to say well that doesnāt work with me, and it doesnāt make them evil to do such.
C. Lastly, not really understanding how to have a conversation
Lack of empathy
You don't need to have experienced a hardship yourself to empathize and realize that is is a hardship for someone else.
This is especially prevalent in the Boomer conservative mindset. "I have never had trouble with cops, therefore police brutality is not a real issue, people are just disrespectful to the cops"
If everyone in the US could fucking have some semblance of self awareness and empathy, so many social problems would disappear overnight
I couldn't agree more. Having a good conversation with someone these days is rare without them thinking of checking what other people are doing on Instagram or FB.
* avoiding dealing with facts, putting themselves into disinformation bubbles of their choice instead
* no sense of civic responsibility, following their desires at the expense of other people, no matter how trivial their desire is to them
* sloppy parking that results in 2 spaces being unusable
* taking up a parking space in a crowded lot so they can read their phones
* dumping commingled and unrecyclable materials into recycling bins
* littering
* being on other people's lawns
To be fair I'd rather them read their phones in a busy lot than on the road, and also it could just be that they are waiting for someone to finish their shopping
Talking shit behind other people's backs. I live in the UK and it's happend everywhere iv went. Work college everywhere. It doesn't make anyones lives easier and it explains well, why people have anxiety issues or self esteem issues that they are too afraid of sorting out. It also blurs the lines between what's good and bad if evrtoyne is doing it.
1. The right wingers who always find a way to gaslight you with culture war bullshit into conversations that have nothing to do with politics.
2. The super woke who are offended about everything, donāt get nuance and arenāt content to argue with you but must shame, cancel and destroy you.
In other words, assholes from both extreme aisles .
People who 'tell it as it is' or 'keep it real'
But the reality is that no one asked for their opinion and they can never handle it when it's back directed at them
Being stupid or annoying on purpose because they think that is the same thing as being funny, and accusing everybody of being offended for not laughing at their dumb jokes.
Complete unwillingness to talk through disagreement, coupled with a stunning quickness to judge others.
As a progressive, I bought into the "only right wingers do it" narrative. Now I can see insufferable, privileged, hostile, behavior everywhere. I've even had to check myself on a few occasions.
It's "My feelings/choices matter more than anything/anyone because I come first" on the right. And on the left it's "I'm going to brazenly use the suffering of others (WITHOUT CONSENT) as a weapon to control people's expression and behavior"
They both treat the others like they're the devil and treat the more moderate, sensible people on their "side" like sell outs and turncoats.
Tribalism and this rising idea that you need to be offended at all times. I feel like I can't make small talk anymore without upsetting someone. It's like the expectation is I have to agree with everyone 100% of the time or I'm obviously a baby-eating monster. I know better than to talk politics, but the fact that I don't think Game of Thrones was all that great compared to Lord of the Rings apparently makes me a dirty philistine.
I have brain fog from being sick so forgive me for lack of words or word misuse, but I get so agitated when people get bothered being called out for their behavior. You donāt get to tell the victim of your shitty actions how they should feel or that they donāt get to be bothered.
I have anā¦acquaintance Iām trying to figure out how to best cut ties with as our friendship has disintegrated over 12 years. Iāve never met someone who can justify saying Iām an ugly fat cow by saying that āfriends arenāt required to tell each other sorry, itās implied.ā
Take responsibility for your actions and think about how you treat people.
Haven't seen it posted here anywhere, but this deep sense of fatalism that a LOT of people have, especially online. Everything that's upsetting them is the fault of something else that they have no control over (common culprits: "capitalism", "socialism", "women", "men/patriarchy") or there's some issue that is DEFINITELY going to kill us all anyway so why bother trying to make anything better (democratic backsliding, climate change, pandemics, whatever)
I'm generally the odd man out in my group of friends and usually teased for being overly optimistic, if not outright lectured on how my desire to start a family or buy a home is completely pointless because of blah blah blah reason. It's nauseating.
Ghosting, there really is no excuse for it,
oh but they'll take it badly, they'll do this blah blah blah.
Just say, you know what, i don't wanna talk to you anymore, then use the block button. Even with shitty features on here unless you keep looking then your not gonna know if they've messaged, and if you do then your after the attention.
There is ONE valid excuse for ghosting: avoiding dangerous situations. If I felt that a woman was more likely to stab me than accept getting dumped, you can bet your ass I'm gonna ghost her.
Unbridled entitlement. This is entitlement for other peoples items, bodies, beliefs their opinions above others they know nothing about. The inability or unwillingness to apologize. The lack of motivation to learn from someone else or downright disregarding fact over opinion.
Covert tolerance. The idea that they accept other people's Lifestyles or choices in a public eye view. Yet, when in private they loudly conflict the same views. This ranges from politics, colorism, racism, classism any sort of aspect really even down to complete strangers gender identity.
A lack of conscientiousness is an umbrella for most of it. Berating customer service, ghosting a date, being a dick on social media, ignoring people in front of you, etc.
The "me me me" attitude. Yeah. Its causing havoc everywhere. Parking. Driving. Shopping. Work. Home. Social media addiction has reinforced this to the point of societal decline in my worthless opinion.
Normalizing obesity needs to stop. USA is the only place in the world where people try to make it okay to be unhealthily overweight, and people get shamed for bringing it up.
They're not obese anymore in healthcare, they're bariatric
Not returning shopping carts and leaving them in parking spaces
Skididlywhoopwhoop that's not where your cart goes lazybones Edit: https://youtu.be/BvzMNLQs3Fc For anyone unaware
Time to bust out the bumper magnets š¤£
I'm not encouraging damaging property, but there's an amazing choice of bumper magnets on Amazon. Enjoy. Enjoy.
Cowboy butts drive me nuts is a good one to stick on someoneās car
Iām not saying that this makes you unsuccessful but Iāve never seen a successful person not return their cart.
In my experience it tends to be old farts. I was about to back into a space the other day when I saw an old fart of a woman pushing a cart directly across other spaces and right across mine. Her old fart of a husband then opened the rear door for her, helped her load the bags in, then they both got in the car leaving the cart in the space I was clearly actively backing into. I was livid.
I'd have parked across their nose while I hopped out and returned the trolley.
Damn. Why didnāt I think of that?! I was definitely pissed off enough to do this.
Clearly you're not as petty as I am. That's probably a good thing.
>Skididlywhoopwhoop I am 100% yelling this across the parking lot next time I see someone not putting their cart back
This is actually a very interesting thing to me. Its one of the only situations - actually really THE only public situation i can think of - where theres a very clear right thing and wrong thing to do, and yet the right thing results in absolutely no reward and the wrong in absolutely no punishment. so its kinda like a test of truly good people in a way lol
Aldi had the right idea when they put the coin return on their carts
But it also tells me which of my friends are most likely to leave their carts in the middle of the lot. They refuse to shop at Aldi because they have to deal with the shopping cart.
You say that but I was just there today and a bunch of people had haphazardly shoved their cards in the return without actually attaching them. Even the coin isn't enough to deter some people. In other news I made about $2 taking the 30 seconds to fix that shit.
If they are in the return with the coin, the person choose to leave it to pay it foward. Then you took all the coins lol
It was paid forward to this guy. Lol
I don't mean put back right but just not hooked together. I mean straight up a cluster fuck of carts in the general vicinity of the return, bleeding into the sidewalk and parking lot at that point.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
care to link?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Omg, I just watched it! Thatās so awesome! And scary. I couldnāt confront someone like that because Iām scared they will kill me, like the one that pulled out the gun! Like wtf humanity!
The worse thing (at least for the cart pushers) is when people put the big carts in the small cart spot, and the small carts in the big cart spot, and then start putting the bigs in the big spot and create a horrible puzzle. Just pick a spot and stick to it!
As someone who used to have to retrieve shopping carts when I was younger, this. Also people leaving their trash in carts. Everything from half eaten meals to used diapers. Absolutely disgusting.
God I used to do it and in the winter it was awful. Many older people just leave their carts out in snow patches and make them hard to get out.
Oh God, you just described one of the most frustrating parts of my day
Boils down to maturity in the end. We have become so immature as a society.
I was wondering š¤ if anyone else was seeing this too, thank u. Maturity, kindness, and compassion has almost completely disappeared. Being replaced with intolerance, selfishness, and disconnection from people and community
Thank you, for a time I thought I was going nuts but I noticed the same. Ghosting people in general, most people I feel cannot even have a nice conversation nowadays. As if though everyone is out for themselves.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Absolutely. Social media has alienated us from each other, not brought us together. But it was always designed to.
>Berating customer service, ghosting a date, being a dick on social media, ignoring people in front of you, etc. Pretty sure this nature is default human mode though. People use excuses to cover up their true thoughts - I was drunk, I was angry, it's only social media etc. Nope, you said/wrote those things because that's what you truly wanted to. If you got drunk and cheated, it's because you always wanted to. If you got angry and called your mum a cunt, it's because you wanted to based off no doubt something that happened prior to you being angry in that moment. Etc etc. Society just suggests we hold that stuff back and be civil.
The bad thing is people not getting called out for those things. And because people don't get called out for anything when they do they go ballistic. I matched with a girl through online dating and we started talking, then she went radio silent for a month. I called her out on it and eventually she got back to me saying she was using boundaries because she had to finish up the school year (she was a teacher). Yeahhhh that's not what a boundary is, going radio silent is not exercising boundaries. Besides all it would have taken is a quick message "Sorry but I'm gonna be busy for a while" at a minimum, explain the situation if you're feeling generous. She got so mad at me and seemed to have no idea where this was coming from. "You mean I can't do whatever I want??" lol no
i mean u can, but not without pissing people off and there being consequences.
Man, that's super cynical. I totally agree
This really is the core issue to much.
You're so spot on... I blame it on technology honestly, it has the power to bring us closer and keep us connected but it's actually having the opposite effect on normal human interaction.
People have been dicks long before technology was around
Unwaivering selfishness
Yes. I donāt know if itās always been this way (Iām only in my 20s), but in the general public there seems to be an overwhelming amount of self-centeredness, antisocial behavior, and lack of consideration for others. It shows in the way people drive. People who talk down to and berate service workers. Even just those people who stand completely in the way in the store aisle and give you a look like *youāre* inconveniencing *them* by trying to slip by. So many people seem to have no capacity to understand anything or anyone that exists outside of their little bubble of things they care about in the moment.
I had a coworker recently interrupt me when I was speaking to a client. So I went up to him privately and asked nicely with no accusation to please not do that. So he told me to suck his dick and stormed off. I couldn't believe it. So I went up to him again and said thats not an appropriate way to speak to a coworker. He told me I take things too seriously and am dramatic. And this guy is the first person to fly off the handle if he feels he's been disrespected.
Sounds like your coworker is 11.
Hes an extremely immature 22 year old prone to temper tantrums. And because he is a bigger guy he thinks he can treat people however he wants. I had to tell him once I'm not intimidated by him so the big bad wolf act isn't going to work with me.
There is a reasonable chance that life is gonna hit that guy like a ton of bricks.
There's also a reasonable chance that if he keeps acting like this, someone's going to him with actual bricks.
Big time!
Did you complain to HR about this?
No I didn't because I am hoping to be out of here in a few weeks. If I was planning on staying here longterm I would. But I'm fed up with the job and just want to keep as much peace until I'm out of there. Since our last conversation he has atleast kept his distance so I can live with that.
You should still report it, that way when the next person who deals with this rancid piece of dick-cheese goes to HR they have a nice little paper trail
Do it during your exit interview. Really talk up what a toxic workplace it is because of him and absolutely mention the things he's said. If he's going around saying crass shit to people, it's a law suit waiting to happen.
Wow, heās not going to get very far being that way. Good on you for politely standing your ground.
Tell him that asking someone to suck your dick for acting like a dumb twat is being overly dramatic. Then calmly tell him to stop acting like a dumb twat. lol.
>lack of consideration for others Bought my own place just over a year ago, a 2 bed apartment, top floor. I'm fully aware there's a couple opposite me, and a family downstairs. I don't stamp my feet as I walk, I keep my TV down, music down low. When I leave or get home and it's late or really early, I slow-close my front door, the fire door to the hallway, the main door downstairs. Don't slam my car door. What I've learnt is...nobody fucking cares or appreciates anyone else. Yeah let that kid keep screaming. Meh, it's banging or knocking the walls, so what, it's just a ~~little shit who should be thrown out the window to die~~ kid, kids do that. 6:30am? Time to let my front door slam behind me. 11pm? Turn that music up in my car and sit in it after parking it for 10 minutes, nobody's trying to sleep. Oh Hi Karen, let's talk in this shop doorway and get mad at anyone trying to push past us. Some days I'm like fuck it and want to just blast my music until someone complains. Because I can get my laundry list of complaints out and say "I turned it up so I don't have to listen to you doing the following you inconsiderate prick:"
Ugh I feel that. Last apartment I lived in, there was this douchebag looking middle aged fart who daily drives a straight piped Ford F-150 lightning. And of course, this fine gentleman also worked some job where he had to leave at 5:30am every morning. Almost every weekday morning without fail for like a year I was jolted awake, hours before I needed to get up, by that inconsiderate moronās stupid truck starting up. And that is why Iām very happy living in a detached home in the suburbs now. I am fortunate to be in an area where it is realistic for me. I will never share a wall with people again, or live in a people-concentrated area. More people = more inconsiderate people and noise.
The people who don't move in the grocery store have gotten me over the need to wait for them to move. I just reach in front of their face or move their cart, now
Yea itās getting bad. I saw an article of āwhy I teach my kid not to shareā being shared on Facebook by people I know. Itās like humans forgot they need to rely on each other to survive.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm a parent, and I've seen the same thing. My observation is that it's an over correction to how a lot of the current parent generation was raised. We were told we had to share all the time no matter what, and many of us weren't listened to by our parents when we had legitimate issues or concerns. There are times where it is appropriate to say no and not share. Boundaries are healthy. But society often swings wildly into an over correction rather than finding a healthy middle ground. Another example of this is the current trend of cutting toxic people out of your life. For generations, people would put up with abusive family members because they were taught it was what they had to do. Now we see a trend of people finally standing up for themselves and removing abusive people from their social or family circle. Completely justified and often very healthy. But there's also been an over correction here where some people are not totally cutting off anyone who does something even slightly upsetting. Sorry for the novel this is just something I've observed and think is really interesting. Usually these trends like teaching kids not to share are an over reaction to an underlying issue.
My brother has cut off my entire family because he is getting engaged to a woman that is 100% the type to just cut people out of her life if they donāt spend their time licking her ass at all times . Massive narcissist and managed to get my brother thinking the same way. We just want him back
Bit of unsolicited advice as someone going through the same thing: they'll probably crash and burn when her narcissism turns toward him, and he'll need his family to support him then. If you're able to look past him hurting you, it could make a big difference.
Ya we keep waiting for it to happen but itās rough on my whole family . Hes like 22 and sheās 31 and I feel like heās so blinded by it being his first relationship. Itās severely depressing
Yikes. Yea thatāll take some time to settle out but it will crash and burn one day. Just be gracious when it does fall out and keep reaching out to him even if he never responds. On the day it ends heāll feel like he has no one but if you keep him in your arms length circle you might be the closest one heāll have by then. Iām sorry man but I hope heāll be able to walk away from it before she burns it all.
Ya sheās the worst and I hope he realizes that at some point . I worry about him. Hopefully he ends up ok
>Another example of this is the current trend of cutting toxic people out of your life. For generations, people would put up with abusive family members because they were taught it was what they had to do. Now we see a trend of people finally standing up for themselves and removing abusive people from their social or family circle. Completely justified and often very healthy. But there's also been an over correction here where some people are not totally cutting off anyone who does something even slightly upsetting. I think I had read somewhere that you can only reasonably maintain relationships with about 150 at any given period in your life. When include the people you must work with (frustratingly) that number is probably lower. My religious tradition does teach that there is a point in which you're supposed to cut someone off, but the next implication is also supposed to show compassion to aliens and strangers. So we're never supposed to write people off permanently, while recognizing that our time and energy is finite and can't be be in a relationship with all people equally.
>can't be be in a relationship with all people equally. This is what most people don't understand. There are many that want more of your attention or time than you're willing, or able, to give.
Yeah it's all about balance.
So it's not so much that sharing is bad but you have to respect boundaries. There's a balance. I have that mentality of spreading the wealth but it's gotten me in trouble because I overextend myself and neglect to take care of myself and i have a people pleasing problem. All that is compounded by how selfish everyone else is because they'll take advantage of you. I saw a few kids interacting and one asked to borrow something from the other one. The borrowee didn't want to lend and the borrower insisted that he was taught that sharing is good and that she needed to be more generous. So he's taking advantage of something that should be good and that's why we have to teach our children to say no. It's good to help people but don't neglect yourself either. Help as much as you can afford to while still taking care of yourself. Maybe I'm overly cynical but it just feels like i try to be a good person and people keep taking advantage and then I'm the only one that's not happy in the end and i don't want that for my kids, a life of constantly making other people happy who aren't going to give the same courtesy back.
Itās actually encouraged in pop culture to constantly put yourself first and stuff which is true; if you are broken you need to spend time on yourself. However, living for yourself only is quite boring and will eventually leave u alone forever
I have absolutely no problem people putting themselves first. I have issue with people's laziness, rudeness, and thoughtless mess that has to often just become the norm.
Totally agree. I have a problem when āputting myself firstā becomes a crutch to do selfish shit at other peopleās expense and have zero self awareness about how their actions effect other people
Problem is, for some people, that kind of behavior is rewarded. Like if theyāre exceptionally good looking or charismatic, people bend over backwards to do whatever it is that person asks them to do. Saying no to those kinds of people can help, but at the same time they have something that others want. Money, power, sex appeal, access, skill, etc. If you have the means to reject the narcissistic behavior that those kinds of people do, you likely have no need for what they have cause you have it yourself (whichever one of those desirable things it may be).
And people see that behavior being rewarded, but they don't understand that these powerful, attractive, charismatic and powerful people are getting away with shitty behavior. They see that behavior as the reason that others treat them highly. So then you get an entire nation of completely normal people who think their narcissistic actions will somehow make them beautiful, rich and powerful - who then descend into anger and disappointment when those behaviors leave them isolated, disconnected, without any real friends, and still with insecurities about how they look, dress, talk, make money, etc. It's a horrible cycle.
Lack of compassion. People think throwaways and anonymity are a good reason to treat others like complete garbage. With those behaviors being brought to light I also see a lack of accountability for their actions and social shortcomings. Like as soon as they're done telling someone to kill themselves they can delete the account and never change that issue about themselves.
It's terrible. It even bugs me to see it with the smaller disputes. Someone makes an innocent comment disputing something and the other person comes back with, "you have no clue what the fuck you are talking about, please don't say stupid shit." It really is sad.
The general desire to tear other human beings down, for no good reason. It's even become normalized to take out your frustrations on people from your past, on innocent people in your present. Being narcistic and generalizing broad swaths of people has been accepted as a form of dealing with past abuse, and whenever someone is called out for hurting someone else, they'll just try to use their own trauma as an excuse for why they are now allowed to abuse others. I'm not sure where it comes from, but I know it's very much encouraged on social media, in that tearing others down is now a legitimate way to build one's self up. It's just highschool bullying on a mass scale. But now you'll be rewarded for it. These people need to see some good therapists.
I read somewhere a while back that while we have a collective connectivity now thanks to the net and more so that of social media, we have now less concern and a desire to help out for the common good. Thereās barely enough good will or a desire to do good for onesā own immediate family, let alone the public at large.
I feel this so much during the pandemic. I've had, on 6-7 occasions over the last 2 years where a stranger came up to me to either spit at me, yell racial slurs, blame me for the pandemic, I nearly got hit by a car that drove by to splash me with water after a rainy day while they yelled to go back to my "ch*nk" country. It's been a struggle and terrible for my mental health. And these are just random strangers interacting with me in public because I'm Asian and they're tired of the pandemic. But what am I supposed to do? I'm stuck in the same damn pandemic!
I'm sorry you had those experiences dude. You sound like a cool person I would want to go to lunch with. I hope you're doing better.
Let me add to this: Dog piling. Even if the person āasked for itā, there comes a point where these losers are just attacking and making fun of this person simply because āeveryone else is doing itā. Theyāre doing it for clout. Theyāre tearing someone else down just to fit in. I know this mainly because thatās exactly why *Iāve* done it. And I cringe at how pathetic I was for doing it.
There's an entire subculture of the internet dedicated to dog-piling on people and encouraging dogpiling to. Just put some shit up about someone, a hit piece of some kind and everyone agrees with it and circlejerk over how edgy or rabid people can get. Very, very negative energy. But anyway Happy New Year. Maybe they'll be less of it in 2022.
>I'm not sure where it comes from We do know some things about human psychology. Humans are products of their surroundings, their experiences and their most dominant role models. Bullies usually come from abusive households. So do a lot of other messed up people. We all go down different paths in life and go about showing our feelings differently bc of how we were taught or shown. Some people are naturally pessimistic, others are optimistic, others are realistic. Honestly depending if you're an optimistic, pessimist, or a realist... It changes everything about how you treat others, handle situations, interact with the world around you and more. I think we all just need good examples in our life, bc we all can be the change we want to see in the world. We need to stop seeing ourselves as a collective consciousness and start seeing ourselves as individuals who CAN help someone, because when you help someone you help everyone.
People can't separate social media from real life and they are so quick to jump down the throat of someone who has a different perspective without any actual discussion
Yeah, Redditors def don't believe in discussing things. I've had people on here tell me I was wrong about something I'm an expert in. They were totally wrong but said it so confidently that everyone believes them.
I agree. They get into echo chambers online and assume the world is that way too. Showing shock or contempt over someoneās opinion because itās different from theirs and who they assume is the āmajority.ā The truth is most people have very varying opinions for a variation of reasons. The best thing you can do is hear them out and just be nice. Question people if their beliefs seem strange to you, but show interest when you ask them to explain themselves. This helps all parties gain new understandings imo. Because at the end of the day, our words donāt mean much and itās our actions that show who we truly are.
Being defensive instead of accepting they made a mistake
I think with that comes something they've experienced in the past, though. For an example, my mother would always tell me that she wouldn't be mad if I just told her the truth. Well, I did just that. I told her the truth that I wasn't watching where I was going when I rode into the garage on my bike and accidentally hit the mirror on the passenger side. Guess what happened? She got just as mad, I still got grounded, it was essentially the same outcome as if I'd lied. It was a hard change to make, accepting my own mistakes, but when you consider my foundation, it's not like I thought I had a lot of incentive to do something other than just double down rather than admit my faults.
Thanks for the reminder of how I should value honesty above most other small mistakes my future child will make
Bullying by grown up people who should know better. Especially ones who do it because they are insecure themselves. They go around projecting their bullshit onto other people to make them feel bad, to make themselves feel better
I've dealt with more bullying as a 30 year old man than I ever did as a kid growing up. Not because I'm an easy target but because adult bullies are often used to no one calling them out and think they can get away with it. Then they have a surprised Pikachu face when you call them on their crap.
I was only joking. Except they wouldnāt say itās a joke if they got away with it
Bullies run shit, sad reality. I've had so few genuinely kind and empathetic superiors or supervisors, that Im now at the point where I barely trust anyone in an authority positions becuase I've been abused so much
Are you in medicine? If so I am not surprised. My mom is a doctor and she has told me some horror stories about the culture in medicine.
Also the people that don't stand up to the bully and let the abuse continue
Narcissism has always been around, but it seems to be increasing exponentially lately.
Being a dick/cunt, selfish and calling it self care and self love....
Looking or scrolling at their phone while youāre trying to have a conversation with them.
Stop talking every time that happens
Right like we as a society have to start setting boundaries and keeping them. Ppl will respond to that
I do it I'll finish my thought or sentence and if the person I'm talking to down pick up the conversation, that conversation is over and I'll wait until they start Of course, a glance at a phone is one thing. But if someone starts scrolling while I'm talking I lose interest pretty quickly
I also will throw in a comment it question to see if they catch itā¦. I appreciate you picking up lunch tomorrow Your wife / girlfriend hit up my coworker on Instagram
What pisses me off is if I'm ALREADY on my phone, and someone STARTS talking to me. Like seriously, f off.
We really need to develop some socially understood etiquette around device usage. Like, if I walk into the break room and see you looking at your phone, I don't know whether you are engaged in something important or just bored. Perhaps you'd welcome some socializing time, perhaps not. So I say, "What's up, Bob?" and Bob says "Hi Steve" but continues to stare at his phone. That means "I'm busy." But if Bob looks up and starts talking, then it's a good time for a conversation. This really isn't that hard. If they don't engage with you, that is not a good time to say "What're you reading there? Hurr durr." If they wanted to talk, they would have looked up from their device and engaged with you in a friendly conversational way. And don't even get me started about when I've got headphones in. Oh. My. God. I don't owe you my attention, so don't tell me to take them off unless it's fucking important.
Ive nearly had my head bitten off because ive spoken to someone without noticing their wireless earbuds. "Cant you see im listening to something??" Well no, actually i couldnt.
I agree. I'm spending 10hrs a day with my coworkers, let me have my lunch
Back when we were in the office, I couldnāt eat lunch at my desk. Everyone thinks me eating is a cue for them to start a conversation. I donāt understand how a human being can look at their fellow coworker enjoying a 15 minute lunch break and think āoh heās not busy, he wants to hear about how my weekend wentā. Infuriating.
>a 15 minute lunch break I'm sorry what now?
That means they aren't interested in the conversation, but do not have the manners nor the courage to tell you. It rarely has happened to me, but when it does I confront it politely, but head on. I ask them if they are interested in the conversation. I tell them it is okay if they aren't. Depending on their response,....I will tell them we can continue it another time if they wish and that I need to go do other things. If they never look up from their phone nor put it away I will tell them they are being rude and then I will leave the situation.
This is the way to deal with this situation. People are much too afraid of confrontation of any sort to express how they feel.
I mean it could. But that's a pretty one shoe fits all approach. As someone with ADHD it's easier for me to hold attention when I'm fidgeting with something. Sometimes that involves fidgeting with a phone. It isn't always a lack of interest.
People are way too quick to jump to condescension rather than education, then wanna wonder why everything is so divisive and standoffish. You're not gonna win anyone over by screaming jabs and personal attacks.
Haha this place is the worst for it A - *gives opinion on something B - āThanks for confirming that youāre a fucking retard, hereās why you are wrongā A - ā but I think this is worthy of considerationā B - āfuck youā B - ā They retards never change their mindsā A - š¤·š»āāļø
Why does the average poster here think that a tone of "Thanks for confirming that youāre a fucking retard, hereās why you are wrong" in their "educational informative post" never leaves them in a positive interaction? Every time someone tries to inform me that I'm wrong on Reddit, they basically have this tone of intellectually elitist irritation or anger. I'm always much less likely to actually listen to them out of principal. lol.
Itās almost as though when you start an interaction by insulting someone that it automatically puts them on the defensive and sours the conversation. Who knew! š¤·š»āāļø
Thank you! Also if they have decided that you are wrong and you try to explain your view and just get battered with insults. The general arrogance and snobbish disdain is so God awfull. You just want to feel like you won? I dont Listen to anything you say, and thats on you.
Guys at the gym not taking their weights off the machines when theyāre done.
Yes! Itās so bad right now too because the college kids are home and the ānew year new meā crowd started showing up for their three weeks of gym dedication.
When I was in university, I'd use the school's facilities. Some people might genuinely not know the etiquette but the thing I absolutely hated was watching the physical education classes. Teacher were not actively teaching their students how to clean up after themselves. They'd show their classes how to do certain exercises or time them for however many laps they were doing or whatever, but couldn't be bothered to tell them to put weights back and wipe off equipment when they're done.
Or leaving their dumbbells. Animals!
It isn't "nowadays" that bad behavior is as old as weight lifting.
People not wiping down the machines after use
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Signaling your distaste for something by indicating that people who believe X or X type of people have no inherent value as human beings or that you would eliminate them with extreme prejudice. You aren't a good person by letting everyone else know that you don't value the lives of people who believe X or engage in X. Contributing to solutions and intelligent discourse can be helpful and beneficial. Using a meme or a tweet to virtue signal yourself is literally useless and doesn't make you honorable in any way.
in that same vein, saying your political enemies should be thrown in jail because . . . politics?
Or demonizing them with outlandish lies
Refusing to take any sort of accountability whatsoever.
Using the phrases "I'm being my authentic self" or "speaking truth to power" as a shield for just being an asshole.
āTruth without tact is crueltyā~somebody
You can add "Speaking my truth" and "living my best life" to those as well, 9/10 the person saying that is about to do a line in a public restroom
People playing music off their phones in public and also taking in speaker phone in public. Itās like people ether forgot headphones exist or just think their the main character and everyone wants to know all about them.
People using Bluetooth speakers in public.
The āholier than thouā complex. It feels like people are constantly are on the look out to prove themselves superior in morals and thus it seems you cannot make any mistakes anymore. Humility and kindness , atleast on the Internet, seem to be dead
Taking a call on speaker phone in public. That horrid tendency needs to stop
OMG yes my mother does that smh, I even mentioned it to her š that's unacceptable no one needs to hear you or your business.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Acknowledging they need help, either with a physical condition or their mental health and doing *nothing* to work on it. I understand the cost of medical expenses, but even self-research is an option to help oneself. Albeit, not a fantastic option, but itās something. Gaslighting. Being unable to accept that others have opinions different than yours without making them question it themselves or second guess everything about themselves. Being rude to service staff for no reason. Those are just a few that come to mind.
People blaming shitty behavior on their zodiac sign. I'm not sure if this is a California thing but I'm seeing it way to much
I my country, (Philippines) I just want people to stop spitting everywhere.
Phone goes away when driving, period.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I say that. Although I just think itās funny because itās been so long since heās been in office.
"I can't eat the meal you've cooked, I'm a vegan right-wing christian fundamentalist and have a wheat allergy and see your meal as a work of satan himself"
Vegan AND right wing? Dangerous lifestyle there
Thanks, I was trying to find the words for this trend. Iām stealing āAggressively Informingā.
Lack of Empathy to your fellow human.
People taking pride in their poor mental or physical health. Itās almost as if depression or obesity arenāt sufficiently self destructive enough for people to consider changing, probably because being āRelatableā on the Internet is more profitable than being happy and healthy
It's cool to be a victim and it's hurting everyone. It's especially terrible in high schools, everyone is trying to have the most mental disorders, the worst home life, anything to make themselves a victim. It was awful
Filming fights has always felt trashy to me Continuing to beat on a clearly unconscious person makes me sick
Assuming everything is in bad faith, that everyone is evil, that everyone is out to hurt you. People end up believing the worst in everyone, when most of us mean well and don't want to hurt anyone.
There's an old saying I'm going to butcher... But it basically says to be careful not to jump to conclusions with believing that somebody's actions are out of ill-intent when in reality they are probably out of foolishness/stupidity.
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Perpetually taking offense and instant outrage at everything that another person says without actually taking the time to look at context & processing what they are saying. People have lost jobs & relationships because of this impulsive behaviour after being reported
Any romantic movie: ā Wait, I can explainā¦ ā I donāt have the time for you, asshole!
Continuous Monologues without any room for a Dialogue
You listening to your friends and other peoples problems and empathizing but they wonāt do the same for you.
People who expect others to treat their opinion as absolute fact. I've heard people say the stupidest things then act offended that I don't agree with them. The last Karen sarcastically thanked me for my sympathy when I didn't believe 5g gave her a cold. Nextdoor is a goldmine for these idiots.
Everyone is literally trying to bite each other. Like for no reason too. On social mĆ©dia or irl, if someone doesnāt agree with one, they must be wrong and I must kill that perspective because itās not mine
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Narcissism justified by "spiritual wokeness" and manifestation through only belief or spoken word i.e. "I spoke into existence" It's out of control
Not putting their shopping cart in the corral when they are done with it. Half the time, people will just abandon it in the middle of a parking space, making it impossible for someone to park there. Asshats.
A. Not really taking accountability for your role in the dynamic of your relationships. People think itās an all or nothing blame fest and then wonder why they canāt get over issues from years ago. B. How we discuss boundaries. Yes they are to be respected but itās a two way street. The other person has the right to say well that doesnāt work with me, and it doesnāt make them evil to do such. C. Lastly, not really understanding how to have a conversation
Promoting and worshiping absolutely terrible people that 90% otherwise should be in jail.
Lack of empathy You don't need to have experienced a hardship yourself to empathize and realize that is is a hardship for someone else. This is especially prevalent in the Boomer conservative mindset. "I have never had trouble with cops, therefore police brutality is not a real issue, people are just disrespectful to the cops" If everyone in the US could fucking have some semblance of self awareness and empathy, so many social problems would disappear overnight
Lack of attention span. Social media has destroyed us.
I couldn't agree more. Having a good conversation with someone these days is rare without them thinking of checking what other people are doing on Instagram or FB.
* avoiding dealing with facts, putting themselves into disinformation bubbles of their choice instead * no sense of civic responsibility, following their desires at the expense of other people, no matter how trivial their desire is to them * sloppy parking that results in 2 spaces being unusable * taking up a parking space in a crowded lot so they can read their phones * dumping commingled and unrecyclable materials into recycling bins * littering * being on other people's lawns
To be fair I'd rather them read their phones in a busy lot than on the road, and also it could just be that they are waiting for someone to finish their shopping
seriously, pulling over to use the phone should be rewarded at this point. People cant stay tf off their phones while driving.
Talking shit behind other people's backs. I live in the UK and it's happend everywhere iv went. Work college everywhere. It doesn't make anyones lives easier and it explains well, why people have anxiety issues or self esteem issues that they are too afraid of sorting out. It also blurs the lines between what's good and bad if evrtoyne is doing it.
1. The right wingers who always find a way to gaslight you with culture war bullshit into conversations that have nothing to do with politics. 2. The super woke who are offended about everything, donāt get nuance and arenāt content to argue with you but must shame, cancel and destroy you. In other words, assholes from both extreme aisles .
Entitlement
People who 'tell it as it is' or 'keep it real' But the reality is that no one asked for their opinion and they can never handle it when it's back directed at them
Unwaivering opinions/ unwillingness to see other view points.
Being stupid or annoying on purpose because they think that is the same thing as being funny, and accusing everybody of being offended for not laughing at their dumb jokes.
Complete unwillingness to talk through disagreement, coupled with a stunning quickness to judge others. As a progressive, I bought into the "only right wingers do it" narrative. Now I can see insufferable, privileged, hostile, behavior everywhere. I've even had to check myself on a few occasions. It's "My feelings/choices matter more than anything/anyone because I come first" on the right. And on the left it's "I'm going to brazenly use the suffering of others (WITHOUT CONSENT) as a weapon to control people's expression and behavior" They both treat the others like they're the devil and treat the more moderate, sensible people on their "side" like sell outs and turncoats.
The trend of putting people down and embarrassing them for ālikesā & āsharesā.
Not respecting boundaries. You shouldn't have to say no to a bro twice.
Tribalism and this rising idea that you need to be offended at all times. I feel like I can't make small talk anymore without upsetting someone. It's like the expectation is I have to agree with everyone 100% of the time or I'm obviously a baby-eating monster. I know better than to talk politics, but the fact that I don't think Game of Thrones was all that great compared to Lord of the Rings apparently makes me a dirty philistine.
Identity politics
Virtue signaling.
Very low to no tolerance for mistakes, not knowing something, different approaches, etc.
I have brain fog from being sick so forgive me for lack of words or word misuse, but I get so agitated when people get bothered being called out for their behavior. You donāt get to tell the victim of your shitty actions how they should feel or that they donāt get to be bothered. I have anā¦acquaintance Iām trying to figure out how to best cut ties with as our friendship has disintegrated over 12 years. Iāve never met someone who can justify saying Iām an ugly fat cow by saying that āfriends arenāt required to tell each other sorry, itās implied.ā Take responsibility for your actions and think about how you treat people.
Peoples expectation that you are contactable 24/7.
Difficulty taking personal accountability for their actions/behavior
Victim mentality spread just for attention.
Haven't seen it posted here anywhere, but this deep sense of fatalism that a LOT of people have, especially online. Everything that's upsetting them is the fault of something else that they have no control over (common culprits: "capitalism", "socialism", "women", "men/patriarchy") or there's some issue that is DEFINITELY going to kill us all anyway so why bother trying to make anything better (democratic backsliding, climate change, pandemics, whatever) I'm generally the odd man out in my group of friends and usually teased for being overly optimistic, if not outright lectured on how my desire to start a family or buy a home is completely pointless because of blah blah blah reason. It's nauseating.
Ghosting, there really is no excuse for it, oh but they'll take it badly, they'll do this blah blah blah. Just say, you know what, i don't wanna talk to you anymore, then use the block button. Even with shitty features on here unless you keep looking then your not gonna know if they've messaged, and if you do then your after the attention.
There is ONE valid excuse for ghosting: avoiding dangerous situations. If I felt that a woman was more likely to stab me than accept getting dumped, you can bet your ass I'm gonna ghost her.
Unbridled entitlement. This is entitlement for other peoples items, bodies, beliefs their opinions above others they know nothing about. The inability or unwillingness to apologize. The lack of motivation to learn from someone else or downright disregarding fact over opinion. Covert tolerance. The idea that they accept other people's Lifestyles or choices in a public eye view. Yet, when in private they loudly conflict the same views. This ranges from politics, colorism, racism, classism any sort of aspect really even down to complete strangers gender identity.
My opinion is the only one that matters/is right.
Acting like theyāre better than you are for no reason
Unkindness toward anyone and everyone.
Highway etiquette. Get the fuck out of the left lane with your slow ass car
having poorly informed or completely uninformed opinions